LOVE OF MONEY IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL

(with contributions from Money Breakthrough Coach Sarah McGirr)

If you grew up anytime between the 1800s and today, you’ve probably heard it a thousand times from well meaning grandmothers and elementary school teachers : “money is the root of all evil."

It's a saying that has echoed through generations, shaping our perception around money, imprinting a sense of guilt or shame around wealth.

“It’s rarely about the money,” Money Breakthrough Coach Sarah McGirr said. “People think [they have] a money problem, but it’s not.”

Sarah went on to tell me that money isn’t the root of all of our problems, after all… our perception of it is. And for women, our perception of money is often more multi-layered than the plot of a Leonardo DiCaprio movie

But why is this?

“For women, we’re conditioned early on that we’re not enough,” she said.

Think about the ads that you were exposed to as a teenage girl – makeup campaigns that promote whatever standard of beauty is popular at the time and fashion spreads full of barely-there models (don’t even get me started on the annual Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show… why was I so captivated by these women?)

Not to mention all of the gender norm conditioning both girls and boys are exposed to from an early age.

Society has given us a set of standards and expectations to live by, and when we stray from those standards – say by making double your husband’s salary, for example –we’re looked at as different.

“It’s the fear of leaving the tribe,” Sarah said. “No one wants to be looked at as different from the tribe. It’s the ‘what will my friends think?’ concept.”

Societal pressures. Gender stereotypes. Deeply rooted self-worth issues... it’s the perfect storm of subconscious conditioning that affects every area of our lives, including manifesting as an extremely toxic relationship with money.

But how do we start to repair this relationship?

“Start by writing a letter to money, ” advises Sarah “You’ll often find it helps you uncover your relationship with money. You’ll be surprised at what comes up.”

Identifying your conditioning around money – your “money stories” as they say in the biz – is the first step in changing the narrative.

Understanding and reclaiming our money stories allows us to make more empowered decisions and begin to rewire that old subconscious conditioning.

In the end, money is just a tool. It’s a resource that can provide more freedom, options, and better opportunities When we learn how to let go of the shame and guilt around money, and stop building it up into this thing bigger than what it is – a tool – we begin to shift our perception of money more positively.

And who doesn't want a more positive relationship with money?

HOMEWORK: write a letter to your money; write whatever comes up as you think about what you’d like to say to your money. What would you like to tell it? What would you like to ask it? How are you currently feeling about your relationship?