The Collegian: Vol. 149 No. 8

The

Collegian Central Methodist University

3.18.15

Vol. 149

No. 8

Page 2 • March 18, 2015

The Collegian • www.centralmethodist.edu

News, pages 2-3 • What’s new at CMU? Welcoming Kathy Vieth to the CMU Board

Sports, pages 4-5 • Basketball comes to a close, baseball and softball take over!

Centerspread • In the jungle, the mighty jungle, CMU students procrastinate tonight

Inside this issue Student Life 8-9 • Collegian Staff duke it out in fifty shades

Smart Style P. 8 • Joe is back! And he’s ready to give you tips on dressing to put that spring in your step.

Alumni Update • Read valuable insight from CMU Alumni on page 12.

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ou may be asking yourself, “What is Rafiki from The Lion King doing on this issue’s cover of my favorite newsletter, The Collegian? And I’m here to answer you.

Rafiki is hanging out, holding his textbooks in preparation to throw them over Pride Rock into the stampedes of African animals. He, like many of us, is completely over spring semester.

How could he even begin to get back to his baboon activities that he is expected to do when his fur is nicely tanned after a wonderful Spring Break in PCB? How is he supposed to do magical future seeing when all he can think about is Hakuna Matating on the beach with a plethora of fine Antelopes and Gazelles? Yes, my friends, for the umpteenth Lion King is being applied to your life in a totally relateable way.

We are on the final stretch. Seven, let me repeat that for you, seven weeks remain in the 2014-2015 school year. If you’re like me, you’re probably sitting in front of Netflix thinking, “I have so much time to watch all

the

Editors

five seaons of Friends!” You may be right, but you’re probably wrong. As college students, we put the PRO in procrastination, the UMPH in triumph, and the F in that was for a grade?

Some of us succeed, other of us are wondering how can this person watch all five seasons of Friends, have a social life, and straight A’s? I’ll tell you for free. They graduated Hogwarts.

Just kidding. They really sit down and work.

They realize that seven weeks in college kid time should be thought more along the lines of three days. They procrastinate, but not to the point where they make themselves miserable.

They are the wizards of our generation, the real Pro-procrastinators. And we envy them a ridiculous amount. This issue aims to give you insight into how you could possibly accomplish all you want by the end of the year. The center’s goal is to help make your life, which is about to get hectic and stressful, a little easier. With some help, you could be back on a beach, Hakuna Matating in no time.

The Collegian Founded in 1872, The Collegian is Missouri’s oldest college newspaper. It is published by the Central Methodist student government and the university’s communications department in concert with the Fayette Advertiser and Democrat-Leader.

It is published every other Wednesday.

Additional staff persons are needed in various capacities including news reporting, sports, special columns, and photography. Contact the editor or advisors.

The Collegian welcomes your comments and letters to the editor.

Historic Morrison Observatory Open At CMU: Guided sessions on Thursdays in March and April Central Missouri residents are invited to explore the mysteries of the universe at any of several guided sessions on Thursday evenings at the historic Morrison Observatory operated

by Central Methodist University in Fayette.

All sessions are free and open to the general public from 7:30 p.m. to 9:30 p.m. on the following Thursdays: March 19, 26, and April 2, 9, 16, 23 and 30.

Central Methodist University Professor Dr. Kendal Clark along with members of the Central Missouri Astronomical Association and CMU students, will conduct the viewing sessions, provide tours and comment on historical highlights of the facility. Hands-on science activities also will be provided in the Observatory classroom. Visitors will be able to use the telescopes for viewing, weather permitting.

The planets Venus and Jupiter will be visible through March and April. The moon will be visible in the evening sky on March 26, April 27 and 30. Visitors will also be able to view selected

star clusters, double stars, nebula and galaxies.

The observatory is located 504 Park Road in northwestern Fayette (65248), across from the Fayette City Park and swimming pool. Exit west on Besgrove Street from the intersection of Highways 5 and 240 and go approximately two blocks to Park Road and turn left; the observatory is on the right a short distance from the turn.

For additional information about the observatory, viewing sessions or directions, contact Dr. Kendal Clark, director of the observatory, by (preferably) e-mail Dr. Kendal Clark, assistant professor of physics, at kwclark@ centralmethodist.edu or call 660-248-6383.

The Morrison Observatory, which is celebrating its 139th anniversary this year, features a 12¼-inch Clark refractor and a 10inch reflecting telescope. The observatory was originally located in Glasgow and acquired by Central Methodist in 1927 and moved to its current location in 1935.

Central Methodist University Has Successful Music Festival

Central Methodist University welcomed nearly 50 schools on February 27 to its annual Music Festival.

Grade levels ranged from sixth through 12th.

The spirits were high even though the temperatures were low. Dressed up students flooded all of the music spaces on campus, including Linn Memorial United Methodist Church for the largest groups, and the First Christian Church just south of the campus.

Students were rated 1-5, with 1 being the highest. Solos, small and large ensembles, and large choirs, bands and orchestras performed.

The CMU Music Festival is held every year

by Central’s Swinney Conservatory of Music, through the leadership of the students, faculty, and staff of the Conservatory. This year’s Festival was headed by Ann Marie Pelley (senior, St. Peters) and Robert Mobley (junior, Monett).

•Kaitlyn Klapperich-Editor kklapper@centralmethodist.edu •Bailey Brown-Layout Editor •Cloe Beck •Joe Beem •Jimmy Craighead •Kelsey Forqueran •Nickie Foland •Thomas Gilson •Skyler Jameson •Brett Knese •Kris Kuoppamaki •Alexandria Martin •Rachel Richard •Jaime Salamanca •Shakirah Salandy •Collin Brink-Faculty Advisor cbrink@centralmethodist.edu NOTE: The Collegian is dated every other Wednesday. Material intended for publication must be submitted on the Wednesday of publication (preferably earlier).

This Collegian and all past issues for the 2011-12, 2012-13, and 201314 school years may be found on the CMU website.

Special thanks to >> The Fayette Advertiser and The Democrat Leader as well as the Central Methodist student government and Marketing, Communications, and Public Relations department for making this publication possible.

Page 3 •March 18, 2015

www.centralmethodist.edu • The Collegian

Kathy Vieth Newest CMU Board Member: Brings successful business background, energy to alma mater As a student at Central Methodist University, Kathy Vieth certainly fit the description of “active.” Given her notable career and achievements, the newest member of CMU’s governing board promises to contribute that same exuberance and energy.

Vieth joined the CMU Board of Trustees at its recent quarterly meeting – her first visit to campus since her graduation 49 years earlier. The Denver, Colo. resident becomes the 34th CMU trustee and will serve a four-year term, noted Central President Roger D. Drake. “Kathy’s expertise coupled with her passion will, I am certain, yield wonderful results for Central Methodist University and the students we serve,” Drake said. “It seemed clear to me she had a great time on her return to campus, visiting old haunts and connecting with some of our current students and faculty.

“If you could build a governing board member, Kathy is the type of person one might want to use as a template,” he added. “It’s good to have her back in the Central family.”

“My time at Central has served me well in my business and personal life,” Vieth said. “As a small town girl, Central and Fayette were the perfect environment for me.”

A mathematics and economics major at Central, Vieth began her career in banking. In 1974 she joined IBM, beginning an 18year association that saw her become Vice President of Product Development – its first female VP on the development side of the corporation.

Vieth was responsible for development of IBM’s ThinkPad, the venerable firm’s successful entry into personal computing. She headed a department with a budget of more than $150 million per year, and it generated annual worldwide revenues of as much as $2.5 billion.

Not bad for the former Central

student government president from Nevada, Mo. who was involved in everything from intramural sports to a national mathematics honorary, a social sorority, and a women’s leadership group among other things.

Vieth retired from IBM in 1992 and moved to Vail, Colo. but that didn’t signal a slowdown. She served on several corporate boards and was a management consultant, but after a few years Vieth was ready for new challenges.

So she formed her own mortgage company focused on the lucrative Vail and Beaver Creek, Colo. real estate market.

Vieth reported building the firm into an operation generating revenues of as much as $60 million in a year, and in 2006 she sold the successful business...only to form Dos Lobos, LLC, her own consulting business, which she continues to direct.

Vieth and her spouse, Hope Engsberg,

CMU Concert Band To Play Home Concert This Weekend

edu The Central Methodist University Concert or Band will perform a home concert Sunday,

March 22, at 4 p.m. in Linn Memorial United Methodist Church on the Fayette campus. The band recently returned from its annual spring tour. The concert is free and open to the public.

Leading the 58-student Concert Band is Conductor Roy “Skip” Vandelicht, CMU assistant professor of music and director of bands. A 1977 graduate of Central, Vandelicht joined CMU’s Swinney Conservatory of Music fulltime in 2008 after teaching 31 years in the Fayette School District.

The repertoire includes marches “The sor Washington Post” (Sousa), “The Klaxton” u (Fillmore), “Barnum and Bailey’s Favorite” (King), “The Stars and Stripes Forever” (Sousa), and “Valdres” (Hanssen).

Student soloists for other music include junior Wayne Brown (music education, St. Charles)

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in “Fantasy for Trumpet” by Claude T. Smith (Central College 1954); senior Ann Marie Pelley (music education, St. Peters) in “Trumpet Concerto, Movement 3” by Johann Hummel; senior Pam Crawford on flute (music education, Columbia) in “Czardas” by Vittorio Monti; and senior Sam Gaddy (music education, Alma), percussionist, in “Statement for Timpani and Wind Ensemble” by Keith Larson.

Additional music pieces in the band’s repertoire are “Emperata Overture” by Claude T. Smith; “American Overture for Band” by Willcox, “Ride” by Hazo; “The Irish Washerwoman” by Anderson; “America the Beautiful” arranged

by Carmen Dragon; “Fanfare and Dance Segments” by Barrett, “J.S. Jig,” by Karrick; “Viva Grana!” setting by Josh Myers (CMU 2002); “Friska” arranged by Andrew Glover (CMU 1983); “O Magnum Mysterium” by Lauridsen; and “Senus Vitae” by Daughtrey.

M.D. – herself a native of Missouri – own AgeWellMD, a medical practice focusing on preventative care and bio-identical hormone replacement therapy for men and women.

Today Vieth speaks to corporations, business groups, women’s groups and others across the country. In her free time the ever-active woman assists The Women’s Foundation of Colorado, Goodwill Industries of Denver (board member), and Rotary.

As a member of the CMU Board of Trustees, she will help the university formulate policies and provide direction, support and counsel to the Central administration. Vieth’s proven track record of success and entrepreneurial spirit will be an asset to Central as the Board and administration work together to chart a course forward in the ever competitive and changing higher education landscape, Drake said.

“I am delighted to return to Central in my capacity as a board member to help insure that today’s students have the very best academic and social experience that college can offer,” Vieth said.

Ben Franklin Coming To Central Methodist University: Will perform at Friday Forum March 20 Ben Franklin is visiting Central Methodist University on March 20 of this century. He will appear at Central’s Friday Forum at noon in Stedman Hall, room 311.

The forum is open to the public at no cost.

Ben’s alter ego is Alan J. Prewitt, award-winning playwright, director and actor. He has been portraying Ben Franklin for 18 years nationwide to audiences ranging from adult to third graders. His research and understanding of Franklin, and his uncanny resemblance to him are draws for any audience.

Ben Franklin (1706-1790) is commonly referred to as “The First American.” He worked to unify the colonies and free them from England. A noted scientist, he invented bifocal glasses, the Franklin stove, and the lightning rod, among many other creations.

During his life Franklin was also an author, printer, politician, postmaster, civic activist and diplomat.

Franklin was known for helping to define the values of a new nation—hard work, education, community spirit, and thrift. He opposed all forms of authoritarianism and embraced tolerance. And he signed the Declaration of Independence.

Prewitt’s visit as Ben Franklin is sponsored by CMU’s Cultural Affairs Committee and the Student Government Association.

Page 4 • March 18, 2015

The Collegian • www.centralmethodist.edu

Lady Eagle softball soars above #1 ranked team at tournament Down to their final three outs twice Sunday - no problem. Facing the most difficult schedule in school history, Central Methodist and head coach Pat Reardon concluded a landmark three-day tournament in which the Eagles made their case to be the No. 1 team in the country when the next batch of rankings come out in 16 days after defeating No. 7 LSU-Alexandria (La.), 10-9, and current No. 1 and defending national champion Auburn Montgomery (Ala.), 6-5 in eight innings, to win the NFCA NAIA Leadoff Classic Gold Bracket championship at South Commons Softball Complex.

Sunday’s win in the Gold Bracket title game was the first in Eagles’ history over a No. 1 nationally ranked team. Since Friday, No. 16 Central Methodist (5-1) has defeated three of the top seven teams in the 2015 NAIA Softball Coaches’ Preseason Top 25 Poll, including the Warhawks and No. 2 William Carey (Miss.), the two squads that battled for the 2014 World Series title. Four of the five wins have come against Top 25 teams.

The Eagles went 2-1 in extra inning Leadoff Classic games and have defeated Auburn Montgomery in back-to-back seasons. The Eagles and Warhawks face off again March 7 in pool play of the Gulf Coast Invitational. Central Methodist’s win over the Generals avenged a loss from the 2014 National Championship Opening Round Columbia Bracket title game.

Trailing 5-4 in the bottom of the seventh inning of the championship, the Eagles tied the game when Hannah Blackmon hit a solo home run with one out. After holding Auburn Montgomery (7-2) scoreless in the top of the eighth, Reardon’s unit loaded the bases with one out, and Bri Boatwright hit a soft liner that fell just out of the reach of the shortstop for the game-winning walk-off single.

Men’s basketball recap

The Eagles led 4-1 after the first inning when Lindie Adair belted a threerun homer and Nicole Beck went deep on a solo shot, but the Warhawks chipped away at the deficit with a run in the second and third, and two in the fourth to grab its first lead of the game, 5-4. The lead would last until one out in the seventh when Blackmon started the rally. Blackmon and Boatwright each had two hits. Adair had three RBIs and scored twice.

Haley Kinnison got the win in the circle with 0.2 innings of shutout relief with two strikeouts.

Brenna Russ made the start but took a no decision with 6.1 innings pitched, allowing five earned runs on eight hits with four strikeouts and five walks.

Ashley Litton threw one inning of scoreless relief, allowing just one hit with two strikeouts and a walk.

In the semifinals, Central Methodist rallied from a 9-2 deficit in the bottom of the seventh inning, and Adair capped off the eight-run comeback with a walk-off single that plated Michele Rupard in the one-run win over LSUAlexandria (9-3). During the seventh, the Eagles recorded seven hits and took advantage of three walks. The Generals grabbed the big lead by scoring five in the first and a single run in the third, fourth, fifth and seventh innings.

The Eagles’ Jessica Wilmes finished 3-for-4, as she and Adair each scored two runs. Lauren Geringer had two hits. Blackmon, Beck and Alyssa Lilly drove in two runs apiece. Adair and Lilly each walked twice.

Lori Lindsey earned the win in the circle, giving up one earned run on three hits with a strikeout and walk in two innings of relief of Kinnison, who started but took a no decision after allowing eight earned runs on eight hits with four strikeouts and six walks in five innings.

By Brett Knese, Collegian reporter

The Central Methodist Men’s Basketball team finished up their regular season with an 82-81 over Peru State College on 2 fre throws made in the last second of the game.

They finish the year with a 19-11 overall record and a 9-9 conference record.

The Eagles battled adversity the entire season, especially after 2 senior starters went down early in the season and were out for the rest of the year. Even so, the Eagles were ranked or receiving votes for a good portion of the season.

Central Methodist’s most notable wins came against the same opponent. Early in the season, the Eagles defeated the then #6 team in the country Benedictine College. Later in the season, CMU defeated Benedictine again, this time in Fayette as BC was ranked 7th in the country.

CMU’s leading scorer this season was Mitchell Farr who stepped up in a big way after the likes of John Palmer and Eric McDaniel suffered injuries.

Farr finished the season with 486 points.

The Eagles hold an impressive home record of 10-4. The team ended the season ranked in the top 50 of NAIA Division I in 22 different categories.

Their .500 conference record earned them the 7th seed in the Heart of America Athletic Conference tournament.

Coming down the stretch, Head Men’s Basketball coach Jeff Sherman said, “This is the best time of year to be playing basketball.”

Right: Scott Stegeman shoots over a Peru State defender.

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Page 5 • March 18, 2015

www.centralmethodist.edu • The Collegian

Three win all American Honors in track The 2015 NAIA Men’s Indoor Track and Field All-Americans have been announced, which include Central Methodist senior Nickola Shingles, junior Nick Homan and sophomore Doug Hutcherson. The award winners competed at the 50th annual NAIA National Championships held at the SPIRE Institute in Geneva, Ohio, from March 5 – 7. Honors were given to the top eight individuals from each event and all four runners in the top eight relays.

“What an exciting weekend we had,” director of track and field Mark Nelson said. “While having three

All-Americans was not completely unexpected, it was thrilling to see Doug, Nick, and Nickola compete so well. I am very proud of all of them.”

Shingles led wire-to-wire in Saturday’s 60 meter hurdle championship, crossing the finish line in 7.93 seconds, four one-hundredths of a second faster than Indiana Tech’s Robert Rose, who finished second. The win was the second national title for the Crawfordville, Fla., native after he captured the top spot in 2013 as a sophomore with Hannibal-LaGrange (Mo.) in an NAIA record 7.86 seconds. Shingles becomes

the first two-time national champion in the event since former Central Methodist All-American Edward Stewart won titles in 2010 and 2011.

Homan captured his first national championship after clearing 5.00 meters in Saturday’s pole vault championship, two inches higher Brian Mitchell of Olivet Nazarene (Ill.), who placed second. The Lake Sherwood, Mo., product also broke Matt Krogman’s previous school record of 4.90 meters from last season. Homan becomes the first indoor national champion in the pole vault in school history.

Hutcherson, from Clinton, Mo., finished fourth in Friday’s 3,000 meter race walk championship in a time of 13:41.21.

Overall, the Eagles finished ninth with 25 points. “Placing in the Top Ten was something I had not given any serious thought to, but when Nick won the pole vault, I thought it was a possibility based on my experience four years ago when we got eighth place with 26 points,” Nelson commented. “What a great day for CMU track and field!”

Central Methodist begins its outdoor season March 27 with the Washington (Mo.) Invitational at 5 p.m. CT.

Baseball opens season with victory Central Methodist opened Heart of America Athletic Conference play Saturday with a doubleheader sweep of Baker (Kan.) at Sauder Field by scores of 3-1 and 105. The Eagles have won 10 of their last 12 games overall.

Central Methodist (11-6, 2-0) erased a 1-0 deficit scoring all of its runs in the top of the seventh inning. The Eagles took a one-run lead on a Brad Cuyos two-run double to left. The insurance run came on a Jake Buhmann sacrifice fly.

Ian Walsh (4-0) earned the win with complete game on the mound, allowing one unearned run on five hits with nine strikeouts and two walks. Chance Sugg totaled two hits in the win.

In game two, Justin Bye (1-3) started for Baker but lasted just two innings, as he allowed four earned runs on eight hits. The

Eagles put up seven runs in the third inning, including two-run doubles by Sugg and Brennan Hurley and a two-run single by Logan Bradley.

Cuyos added a two-run double in the ninth for the final margin and was 3-for-4 with three RBIs. Hurley and Mike D’Eletto also had three hits in the win. Hurley, Bradley and Sugg each had two RBIs.

Pitcher Jeff King (3-0) got the win, allowing four earned runs on eight hits with two strikeouts and a walk in five and one-third innings.

Central Methodist hosts Benedictine (Kan.) in the first doubleheader at Estes Field this season on Wednesday, March 18, at 1 p.m. CT. Right: Coach Breland congratulates Aldo Adamus as he rounds third base and heads for home

Women’s End Season With Loss to Peru State

By Brett Knese, Collegian reporter

(660) 248-9958 Buy, sell, trade

The Central Methodist Women’s regular season is not reflective of Basketball team wrapped up a 14- how good the team really is. They 14 season last Saturday in a loss to led the Heart of America Athletic Peru State College. They finish the Conference in every major category season with a 5-13 conference record. except for one, scoring defense.

Overall, it was a season that saw its ups So why do they have an even .500 and downs. One of its lows occurred record if they lead in so many offensive when senior categories?

Kyra Williams There’s a s u f f e r e d couple of a season r e a s o n s . ending injury.

First, Central However, one Methodist has of the Eagles’ not had the best highs this year of luck. The came when they major injury knocked off to Williams #20 Columbia did not help College in the either.

CMU middle of a six Jesse Ellis drives past a Peru State defender as has had to game win streak.Morgan Vetter sets a pick. face a number By a mile, CMU’s leading scorer of opponents when the opposition this year was senior Morgan Vetter. were at their best. Sure, a couple of A year ago she set the single season the losses were bad nights for the record for 3’s and quickly followed Eagles, but most of the L’s were that up this year with another nation great nights for their opponents. leading campaign. This year, Vetter Second, in game breaks rarely sits at 108 three pointers made going went the Eagles’ way. A number into the conference tournament. of missed calls have given CMU’s Taylor McDowell, with 80 of her opponents the game’s momentum own, is ranked 10th in treys made. and the opponents never looked back.

The record CMU holds after the

Stats make the struggle real

chart from http://brandongaille.com/17-lazy-procrastination-statistics/

Page by Bailey Brown, Layout Editor

How to overcome

Procrastination

I

t’s Sunday night, you have a paper due bright and early Monday morning. Are you working on your paper? No, you’re eating potato chips, drinking “grape juice,” and watching your favorite show to binge on Netflix. As you crush chips into your mouth, you laugh to yourself. Why would you waste time doing some petty paper when Piper and Alex are so close to being back together? What’s more important here? The clock ticks midnight. Cinderella has left the ball. You still haven’t opened Microsoft Word. You bite your nails thinking, “Why did I procrastinate so long?” You curse yourself for being so stupid, so naïve for falling into the same trap again and again. “Why can’t I just do my work?” Crunch time, pour some coffee, but you fall asleep before it’s made. And your paper? Sits incomplete, totally alone and sad. You, sir or ma’am, get a D, as in “dats not good.” Maybe next time kid.

And here is your next time! As a fellow sufferer of procrastination, Netflix traps, and weekend antics, I get it. While I do pride myself on being a rope master of procrastination, I still know the importance of sitting down and doing my work. I want to help you out. Here is my hand. The procrastinator life is not for everyone, little bug, and if you’re pulling out your hair, crying to your mom, or just crying in general, fear not. I have devised a survival guide that is far better than Ned’s. Strap up your backpacks, you’re about to get schooled.

Knowing the Circle of College is an art.

Here’s how it goes. You show up to class in August. Low-key, you hope everyone notices your new shoes. You say to yourself, “This is my year. I’m getting all A’s.” How long does that last?

TGIH. You don’t make it past the first weekend. So you say, “This is almost my year. I’m getting all B’s,” and shortly after, give up on that too. Wow. Great start. You begin to procrastinate because you’re scared that your best effort won’t be good enough. You procrastinate because you’ve procrastinated everything else and now you have this huge pile of procrastination that you decide to procrastinate until the weekend. Wow. You really did it this time. If this doesn’t happen to you, count yourself a rare and unusual beast and put this paper down right now.

While staring at your massive pile of unfinished deeds, you begin to think, “How do I start?” You think of not starting. Don’t think that.

I strongly suggest breaking your work into small steps. During my Netflix binge of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, she talks about how she just focuses on the current ten seconds. “If I can get through these ten seconds, I can do anything,” and she just repeats that to herself until the task at hand is done. Now, that isn’t exactly what you should do, but it makes total sense. Break your work into small steps so your project isn’t so overwhelming. Your phases could consist of research, picking your topic, making an outline, revising, and if you want, you can make them even smaller. One small step for project, one large leap for student kind!

If you’re still stuck, try a scenery change. Get away from your bed and

all other glorious temptations. Different environments impact productivity.

Think about how you feel in the library with the smell of books and your peers grinding out papers. Be like them! Or, if the library is too hot because they won’t turn on the AC, try sitting outside: DC Rodgers, the porch of Smiley, or even the park offers seating and places to work. And, I can almost promise the fresh air will improve your mood while killing off that little angry stress monster in your pocket that is currently biting at your friend’s faces.

You’re finally working, but still getting distracted, try to eliminate all the pit-stops. Quit looking at your phone. That cute guy that you gave your number to last weekend won’t text you. No one retweeted you. Just put it to the side, face down, on do not disturb. Instead, use phone time as your reward. If you work hard for half an hour, you can have five minutes of phone time or something like that. Basically, get rid of the distractions.

For long term anti-procrastination, try to hang out with people that motivate you to take action. Identify the go-getters and jump on whatever train they ride. I’m sure that they’ll be happy to motivate you and you will find that they are actually contagious…in a good way. Maybe one of your new inspiring friends will even work as your study buddy. The best way to go about the buddy method is to set individual goals and inform one another so then you can guilt trip the each other until the job is done. If you don’t know how to guilt trip, come see me after class.

It’s my third language.

Tell others about your goals too! Tell your mom, your dad, grandma, grandpa, the hippos at the zoo, Harry Potter and Ron in the library. That way, when someone asks about how your goal is coming along, you either have to lie because you’re a procrastinator or you can smile while pumping your fist in the air and say, “Crushed it.” You can also look for that golden student that has already achieved the same thing you want to achieve and ask them how they did it. After all, we’re all in this together (cue Zack Efron).

And stop over-complicating things. Rough drafts aren’t supposed to be perfect. Books aren’t supposed to be fully understood. And even though square roots make me feel irrational, math is just a bunch of numbers and letters thrown onto a paper. Don’t over think, make like Nike and just do it. If you never take that first step, you’ll never finish. Quit dipping your toes into the water and jump in, cannonball style, headfirst. Okay, maybe not that, but you’re picking up what I’m putting down.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is that the only person I know who procrastinated to success is me. You aren’t me, sorry not sorry. So let’s review. Break whatever you’re doing into small steps. You don’t swallow an entire steak. Change your environment because it’ll make seeing Bed that much sweeter. Throw your phone out the window and hang out with inspiring, ambitious people. Get a buddy and hold each other accountable while yelling your school goals to everyone that listens. Stop overcomplicating the task, put your big kid pants on and just do it.

Page 8 • March 18, 2015

The Collegian • www.centralmethodist.edu

NBA All-Star Weekend

By Skyler Jameson Collegian reporter

The National Basketball Association kicked off its exciting 2015 All-Star Weekend by hosting the NBA Celebrity AllStar game. The game was headlined by a star cast of players such as Kevin Hart, Nick Cannon, Mo ’ne Davis, and Jesse Williams. Hart went on to score 15 points and was crowned MVP for the 4th consecutive year.

The NBA Celebrity All-Star game was followed by the NBA Rising Stars Challenge. This game is between rookies and second year players who have been making a splash in the league.

This game was headlined

by Timberwolves star Andrew Wiggins who went on to win the MVP due to his 18 points and 12 rebounds.

Saturday night was a busy night for the NBA as they held the Degree Shooting Stars contest, Taco Bell Skills Challenge, Foot Locker 3-Point Contest and the

Student Life

most popular Sprite Slam Dunk Contest. Chris Bosh of the Miami Heat won the Shooting Stars contest followed by Patrick Beverly of the Houston Rockets.

The Foot Locker Three Point Contest came down to the final round as teammates met as foes. Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson of the Golden State Warriors battled it out from long range as Curry got the best of Thompson. The headline event was the Sprite Slam Dunk Contest with Timberwolves guard Zach LaVine shocked the crowed with his high flying jams earning the title of dunk champion.

Finally, the weekend concluded with the NBA All-Star Game on Sunday.

This year’s game holds the record for most points in an all-star game as the West beat the East 163 to 158. For the first time in NBA history two brothers faced each other. Marc Gasol of the Memphis Grizzlies and older brother Pau Gasol of the Chicago Bulls started for the East and West squads respectively. LeBron James, Kevin Durant, Tim Duncan, and many other superstars played in the entertaining game. However, one super star shined his light a little brighter on Sunday night. Russell Westbrook of the Oklahoma City Thunder dropped 41 points to earn the MVP crown. This impressive 41 point game is just one point shy of tying Wilt Chamberlin’s record of 42.

Coming out of the all-star break, the top 5 teams according to ESPN are the Warriors, Clippers, Hawks, Mavericks, and Grizzlies. A surprise is that the “Big Three” in Cleveland are listed as the 8th best team. It will be interesting to see if LeBron and crew will catch on in the second half as they play a weaker Eastern Conference schedule. A team to watch is the Toronto Raptors.

A seasoned point guard and their athleticism mean they could be a scary team to play come play-off time. It should be an exciting rest of the season!

Smart Style Style advice from your not-so-average Joe

By Joe Jefferies, Collegian reporter

The snow is melting, birds are singing, and the days are getting longer.

Spring is on the way and with it comes the warm weather we’ve all been longing for. As the weather heats up, shorts start making their way back out of our closets and into our daily wardrobes. Here are a couple of suggestions to help you find the perfect shorts to revamp your spring wardrobe.

Ladies, shorts are one of the most difficult pieces in your wardrobe to get right. Finding the right style in the right inseam with the right details is a daunting task.

For many, the best short inseam is somewhere between three and five inches.

The three-inch short keeps your look fun, flirty, and casual. This inseam shows a little leg while still maintaining a modest look. Its friend, the five-inch inseam, is a little more modest than the three-inch and is a powerhouse length for your wardrobe.

The most modest inseams, the seven-inch to the Bermuda, are great for those wanting to stay comfortable in warmer weather while keeping modesty to a maximum.

Then there’s the two-inch short. Oh, the two-inch. This is the inseam of most shorts sold at juniors’ specialty shops like American Eagle, Abercrombie, Express, and the like. The two-inch short can be successfully pulled off, but use caution. Sometimes too much is just too much.

Too often people pour themselves into a two-inch short, falling out of all sides, and it simply is not a flattering look. If you’re going to wear a twoinch short, ensure that they fit perfectly from waistband to leg opening and that there isn’t any tightness or squeezing at the waist or on the thigh.

You should also avoid shorts that have pockets hanging below the hem. It this it is selfexplanatory why those are not cute. Further, think twice about paring your two-inch shorts with an oversized top that leaves those around you wondering, “is she wearing pants?”

On a final note, please keep the distressed/destroyed look to a minimum this year. This style is done and overdone. Try adding a new pair of soft or high-waisted shorts to your closet instead to enhance your warm weather style.

Gentleman, many of you never stopped wearing shorts this winter so its time for a spring update. Start by moving beyond athletic shorts and enter the wonderful world of cotton twill.

This comfortable, breathable material will elevate your spring style and keep your dressing easy.

Inseams for guys’ shorts have been creeping up for the past several years, and this year is no exception. Free your quads in a stylish six-, seven-, or eight-inch short that looks great and keeps you cool no matter how warm it gets. Pair these shorter inseam shorts with crisp button downs, polos, and Henley tees for a comfortable, cool style.

If you’re still not sure about shorter inseam shorts, try a more traditional pair of flat-front shorts in a length that just touches the top of your knee. Style these more traditional shorts as you would any shorter short to stay cool as the weather warms up.

Want to be featured in the next edition of Smart Style? Show your style around campus and you might be next issue’s inspiration.

Page 9 • March 18, 2015

www.centralmethodist.edu • The Collegian

Are Economies Really Meant to Economize?

By Geofrey Bilabaye, Collegian reporter

Factoring the amount of wastes produced by industrial factories owing to increased consumerism compulsions worldwide, begs a question whether the existing economic systems really do economize?

Before attempting to respond to that question, there is yet an important question to quiz, what is “economizing”?

An uninvolving clarification of the word economize is, avoiding wastes or conserving. Economizing could also mean spending less or to reduce expenses.

Thus, every economy or production entity’s best economic model is to produce the best possible goods at the lowest possible cost.

Be that as it may, there is a socio-economic price for low cost productions. Some are perceptible and some concealed. Any which way, there is one to be paid.

In today’s consumerist world, the equilibrium for demand and supply is at all times high. The consumption of products is what perpetuates the economic growth of an economy.

Viz., the more goods are produced and consumed, the better it is for an economy to continue to operate. Ergo, if the goods produced were meant to last for much longer periods of time, it would decelerate the consumption process and ultimately shrinking an economy.

The industrial products we own are meant to depreciate in their functioning capabilities (planned obsolesce), prompting us to purchase new ones in unending cyclical consumption. Since higher rate of consumption yields a faster economic growth.

Consequently, efficiency and sustainability are some of the biggest enemies of our economic systems in the world today. This is due to a simple fact; there is no monetary value in economizing the valuable resources of the world.

Our economic systems aren’t designed to strategically utilize resources like oil, which take millions of years to evolve underground. And minerals like diamonds that take up to billions of years to take form, but use them as catalysts to accelerate consumerism.

The repercussions for such comportment are increased aggregates of wastes that economies claim to avoid. Needless to say, such wastes have devastated our planet’s natural world. We live in an era of unexampled wastes relentlessly diffused into oceans and land. Ascribed to economic activities, that doesn’t present better living standards on any tangible levels.

This is a malignant system disorder.

What the...fit is a FitBit?

By Nikki “Six” Foland, Collegian reporter

There have been many forms of technology invented to help give people the best and quickest way to getting in shape. This includes Wii Fit, anything from Bowflex, and now, the relatively new “in” technology: Fitbit. Fitbit, founded in 2007 and now getting a little bit more popular, is a piece of technology that is like a personal fitness coach, tracker, and an electronic database all in one. Fitbit keeps track of your steps as well as how intense those steps are, calories burned, and even measures your sleeping patterns.

With more than 6 different types to choose from, it’s no wonder how Fitbit has been able to attract so many people to its fan base. According to Fitbit’s website, it even won runner-up at TechCrunch50 in 2008 and CES 2009 innovation honoree and best in the Health & Wellness category.

Those thinking about buying a Fitbit should consider the expense of Fitbit.

According to Fitbit’s website, products range from $60 to a staggering $250. Of course, not every college student who wants to stay in shape can afford some of these products, even at $60. If a college student were to really want one, they should probably buy one off Amazon or eBay to get it at a cheaper price.

To help me understand what people liked about Fitbits, I surveyed 18 people about Fitbit. The results: About 1/3 found Fitbit cost more than what they wanted to spend and 7 thought it was about equal. This causes people to believe that Fitbit may be upping their prices just because it’s the technology everyone is talking about, similar to what Apple does.

However, more than half of these people would recommend this product to others if they were asked about Fitbit or would even if they were not asked.

I believe purchasing a Fitbit is a great option for those who want to lose weight or help keep it off. It would also be great for people who lack a sense of motivation. It is a revolutionary piece of technology that will stay around for many years to come.

Did You Know?

By Kristopher Kuoppamaki, Collegian reporter

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Did you know Dr.Seuss wrote the book “Green Eggs and Ham” to win a bet against his publisher who thought that he could not complete a book with only 50 words?

Such a silly bet and look at the outcome. Who knew a friendly bet would end up creating the fourth most popular children’s English book of all time. This bestselling and critically acclaimed book proves that less can be more, and next time someone challenges you, go for it. They say we miss one hundred percent of the shots we don’t take, so even if it seems impossible, shoot anyways!

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Page 10 • March 18, 2015

The Collegian • www.centralmethodist.edu

Student Opinion Fifty Shades of We’re All Adults With Our Own Opinions

By Rachel Richard, Collegian reporter

Let me start by saying that if you have not read the book or seen the movie, you do not get an opinion. This includes reading other’s opinions online. This is still a secondhand source. I do not say this to be rude or violate anyone’s constitutional right of freedom of speech. However, this is a life lesson that everyone needs to learn. If you do not make yourself familiar with the source of information in an argument, you will end up looking like a fool, every time.

I also want to make it clear that I am not in love with this story. I enjoyed the books and would recommend them to anyone who reads for the purpose of reading.

The story made me feel giddy, shocked, entertained, and yes, I definitely cried.

Although Christian Grey has an unorthodox way of showing his love for Ana, it is still apparent that he has strong feelings of love, admiration, and protection.

Now, others will scoff at my use of “unorthodox,” and say that the way he shows his love is through stalking, controlling, and punishing. Yes, he is a dominant who likes to punish his subjugates that do not obey him. However, Ana is not his sub, so he does not punish her like he would a sub or as often.

When he does punish her, she consents. If you read the books and do not see Ana as a strong, independent women who is quite capable of saying no, then you have missed a good portion of the checks and balances of the book.

The author realizes that Christian is over the top and may be overbearing at times, so Ana was created. Ana may seem like a silent, sweet girl, but since the book is in her

perspective, you see that Ana is a strong woman that does not take shit from anyone.

She constantly tells Christian “No,” which is one of the reasons he is so attracted to her.

In no point of the book does Christian actually become her Dominant.

In the “Red Room of Pain,” he is allowed to play the role of Dominant, but only because Ana has given him permission to play out his fantasies. He wishes to be her Dom in all things, but she never hands over her control.

Another argument is the stalking. People say he stalked her before he met her.

Let me ask this, how many of you see someone you like and then Google them or search their Facebook profiles to feel more familiar with that person? I know I have. I am a master at finding people I am interested in. I’M NOT CRAZY! There is also a question about her being forced into the BDSM lifestyle. I am not well versed in that lifestyle, so I’ll stick to what I know. The only contract that Ana signed was the Non-Disclosure Agreement, which only binds her to secrecy of Grey’s lifestyle. She never signs a contract saying that she would become a submissive for Grey. Even when she does decide to humor Grey, he decides he would rather have her be the disobedient love of his life then an obedient lover.

In conclusion, everyone has the right to read and love or hate this story. You do not, however, have the right to tell people they’re wrong for choosing either. The world is full of people who will agree or disagree with you. Learn to accept the fact that we are all different, and do not let anyone tell you how to live your life. Stay human!

Fifty Shades of nope.

By Cloe Beck, Collegian reporter

Handcuffs, crops, and a red room of pain. Did the name Christian Grey come to mind? I thought so. He seems to be the man that’s on every girl’s mind lately.

But if Grey was portrayed as the man he truly is, would they still want him?

Christian Grey is actually an abusive man and also a borderline rapist.

A healthy BDSM relationship is based off of three important factors: safe, sane, and consensual. Grey doesn’t respect any of these factors.

First, while Grey’s intentions are to keep Ana safe, his ways of doing it are not actually going to keep her safe. His unpredictable temper becomes an ongoing problem throughout the book. Grey continually snaps at Ana when she doesn’t do what he wants her to do or if she doesn’t do something to his liking; this is still considered abusive and is therefore unsafe. Let’s also

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not forget that Grey submits Ana into a traumatizing spanking experience, then leaves, and expects her to care for herself. Doms are supposed to be in charge of the aftercare of any activity they put their submissive through.

Eventually Grey does come back and applies lotion on her bottom, but only because she was left crying, traumatized in her room and her best friend decided to take matters into her own hands and give Grey a piece of her mind.

Secondly, Grey is anything but sane. Don’t believe me? Let’s look at the facts.

One of the first things he did after meeting Ana was track her phone. Let’s not forget his irrational possessiveness. Whenever Ana was away from Grey, he would send her constant emails--needing to know her every move. His possessiveness got so bad that he even followed her on a trip to her mother’s--a trip she was taking to get away from him and have some time to think about their “relationship.” Still not convinced? How about how after hearing that she was a virgin, he took her to his room and had sex with her just for the shear fact that he wanted to get it over with.

Last, but definitely not least, Ana was practically forced into the BDSM lifestyle. She was handed a contract that pretty much signed away her rights to tell him no. In the BDSM world, there are submissives and then there are slaves. One of the main differences in these two is that submissives can say no while slaves cannot (unless they use their safe word, in which case a good Dom will respect that and stop what they’re doing). Grey views Ana as his slave--the books say submissive, but Grey doesn’t want Ana to tell him no, therefore she is his slave. In the book, Ana ends up using her safe word and Grey continues to push her limits. Does that sound very consensual? Didn’t think so.

Fifty Shades of Grey is one of the worst examples of a healthy BDSM relationship. There is nothing wrong with reading a good book about BDSM or even just normal erotic literature and there are plenty of books like that, but Fifty Shades of Grey is definitely not one of them.

Page 11 •March 18, 2015

www.centralmethodist.edu • The Collegian

Go Greek!

By Alexandria Martin, Collegian reporter

There is so much negative feedback about Greek to be like them, I wanted to be a part of it! I put organization, it is most likely you joined the group life here at Central Methodist. I feel it is because my bid in and never looked back!” This was a big where you fit in the best. You are the gear and they some of the students and administration at CMU deal for her because she, like all college students, are the grind, do you fit with them. There will always don’t really have a good understanding of the had left everything familiar back home. For many be that one part that needs to be oiled up a little bit so question: “Why go Greek?” As a Greek member students, college is where you get a new start. it fits better in the grind, but that is totally acceptable. since 2013, I can’t say I know everything about being Senior Danny Stookal said, “Making new friends As far as bullying no, it isn’t some people just don’t Greek, but I do have a great understanding. was a worry for me as I entered college. Joining a fit the purpose behind the organization, and that’s Why join a selected group of people? Isn’t that a fraternity made college seem much smaller and I fine, you can still make some amazing friends, you form of bullying by not letting certain people in? Isn’t have met some of my best friends through my Alpha just may not have the same opportunities if you just it a bit redundant and fake to have to “pay” for your Epsilon Pi Fraternity.” You brothers or sisters can stop after not succeeding with their organization. friends? A major benefit of Greek life on campus serve as a family away from home and as a group Lastly, I am one of the many people that made is to help you create relationships with multiple of people you can confide in. Senior Austin Long fun of Greek life because they had to “pay” for their people that can help you in ways that you would have agrees, “I chose Phi Mu Alpha because I was curious. friends. Looking back, I realize I was wrong because never seen coming. To be honest, not everyone has I saw guys that were close to each other, and how they there are some of the best damn friends I could ever one.something they mesh with other people in, whether trusted each other. I knew the main component of their have. If anything, I haven’t paid enough to have o her.it be sports, music, or other clubs here at CMU. brotherhood was music,” Long continued, “After I the friendships I have with the great women in my nant.Maybe sports or extracurricular activities aren’t pledged, I realized there was a lot more to it. At its sorority. They are there any time I need them. butenough. Aaron Schuster, a former baseball player core, the fraternity exists to encourage camaraderie, In fact the only difference between not going Heand Moker alumni emphasizes, “Greek fills a niche at advance music in America, and drive its members Greek and going Greek is that Greek get in ten ntrol.CMU that many people look for in college, because to make the world around them better. I suppose the times more trouble because the school gets involved her.it is no fun going through college alone.” Even if first reason I could come up with was that I wanted in it compared to people that are just here and get hemyou do, like I said earlier maybe you’re looking for to be part of something that was bigger than myself.” caught at a party. That’s the difference, we’re risk nowsomething new to redefine yourself. When you first In addition to finding someone you can trust and takers, just like we will have to be in our everyday ZY!get to campus everyone’s first worry is “Who am I rely on like a family, fraternities and sororities life. To get somewhere you have to be able to take I amgoing to get to know; who will I be friends with?” can work as a tool for career networking. They risks, put down what you have and go with it. Greek that Alumni Holly Adams said, “I wasn’t happy at help you meet people from different organizations life has taught me that. I won’t always get what I recyCMU went I started in the fall 2009, then I met the which may lead to a job or an internship. want, but I definitely will have a support team me aDeltas and everything changed! College became so The reason Greek life is selective is because we behind me pushing me to strive for what I want. es hemuch fun, and the girls were so friendly. I wanted all have different interests. If you join a Greek Kris Kuppamaki’s response to come in the next issue over. not,CMU Students Attend Theatrical Event in Minnesota world By Nickie Foland that Thirteen students from the theater program went to the American College Roy stated, “I left ACTF with a sense of inspiration to continue to make art for the man!Theatre Festival, or ACTF, in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The event was held world. I learned that art resembles life and life resembles art therefore, it’s up to those across many venues in the Minneapolis area from January 18 to January 25. with the passion of art to never let it die out.” Kelsey Forqueran, participating in her The ACTF is an opportunity for students to expand their knowledge about acting, last ACTF as a student, said “I left ACTF with a better understanding of the human directing, writing, stage management, theater management, costuming, design, condition and an appreciation of the effect theatre can have on it and the world.” and many other aspects surrounding theater production. Workshops are held during When asked her thoughts about recommending ACTF to other students, the week in which students learn about all of these areas. Students may also attend McGuire responded, “Yes, I would! It’s a really great opportunity. productions put on during the event and may even be in a production during the week. The environment is great, you learn so much, you make really good When asked about her experience, Addison McGuire, said, “It was really great! connections; you make good friends from everywhere. It’s an opportunity We got to go to a bunch of different workshops, a couple of them held by our to learn and expand your craft in ways you really don’t have elsewhere.” own faculty here at the Little Theatre. I got to see workshops having to do with Students attending the week-long event were Terri Banderet, Clinton Campbell, directing, playwriting, Jon Connor, Kelsey Forqueran, Austin Giorgianni, Donald W. Johnson, Parker acting, and set design. Those Johnson, Addison McGuire, Lyndsey Phillips, Katie Roberts, Kelson Rosbach, were really interesting.” Breilly Roy, and Emma Wyble. The theater group was led by professors Another attendee, Breilly Mark Kelty and Greg Owen.

n

Learn to Budget or Be Busted!

By Jimmy Craighead, Collegian reporter

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College can be some of the most expensive years in a person’s life. Four years of steep college tuition and room and board can leave a graduating student with a large pile of debt. U.S. News reports that in 2013, the average student debt after college was a little less than $30,000. With such a large hole to dig oneself out of, many students freshly entering the workforce have trouble adjusting to the change from student to employee while at the same time managing their finances. With proper training and organization, this transition period will be all the less shaky and hectic.

The first tip I offer is to budget. Know how much money you have, how much money you owe, how much money will be making, and how much money you want to spend and save. Know how much student loan debt you have and work with the business office to work out a plan to repay it. Repay this debt as soon as possible so that you stop incurring interest. By organizing your finances and planning

your spending, you are able to set and plan for goals, such as buying a house or opening a business.

One of the main steps in the budgeting process is savings and investing. While it is a good idea to save money, at a young age it would be more beneficial for a person to invest. Interest rates on savings accounts are extremely low, most of the time below 1%, which is a small amount of growth. By setting aside part of each paycheck to an investment portfolio with a financial advisor or by yourself, you will be able to see a larger return on your money. By diversifying your investments, you reduce the investment risk and average a much larger return than a savings account.

Life is unpredictable. Accidents happen. People get laid off. No matter what happens, the bills are still due at the end of the month. By planning and organizing your finances, not only after college but now, you will find it much easier handling financial problems and decisions.

Page 12 • March 18, 2015

The Collegian • www.centralmethodist.edu

For CMU Alum Michal Yetman: The World’s A Stage

By Amanda Kerns; Editor, The Collegian 2009-2010

Defining moments are few and far between, but one Tuesday night it all changes. All the hard work and preparation are the details you mention in your autobiography. The Midwest, Michael Yetman’s home and stage set the back ground for late night standup comedy, his passion - a passion stemming from life experience, a common theme in his routine.

“Every memory is a potential joke,” Yetman says, “Looking at the human experience; my stand-up is simply things I would say out loud and on purpose.”

Choosing to do stand-up was a whim; Yetman loved comedy growing up but being asked to do a show with a friend led to a life-long passion. “I’ve been doing stand-up for four years and although it isn’t glamorous it is fulfilling,” said Yetman. “After a year in radio I gave stand up a try and that’s all it took, one joke, one laugh, and I was hooked.”

Currently, Yetman participates and schedules several local shows at Déjà Vu Comedy Club and keeps a full time job. In Columbia, he is a top performer and works with a multitude of local and national talent.

“Working with different acts and personality teaches me how to work the audience and how to deal with whatever is thrown at me while on stage.”

Be it five or fifty minutes, being an opening act for a headlining act was a foot - no a leg into the world of comedy. No career starts off in the executive office, and the same goes for the entertainment world.

As one of Yetman’s favorite comedians, Steve Martin said, ““Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.”

“On October 14th, 2014 at approximately 8 pm my life changed,” Yetman said. “Four years of late nights all over the Midwest led to the greatest five minutes of my current stand-up comedy career. I opened for Doug Stanhope.” According to dougstandhope.

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com, “Doug Standhope is a stand-up comic who has been around since 1990. His material ranges from true-life perversion to volatile social criticism.”

Standhope started his career in Las Vegas doing jokes for drinks. He was selected as a top comic to watch by both Variety and the Hollywood Reporter.

Growing up in southeast Missouri, athletics are a mainstay for the community, but not always an automatic “in” with fellow peers. Yetman knew that being funny and light of heart was a way to be social. “I learned early on that if I made someone laugh they wouldn’t beat me up,” Yetman said. “It continued in college as an ice breaker and eased tensions at house parties.”

Heading into college at Central Methodist University on a football scholarship, Yetman used his comedic talents to continue help break the ice. Multiple factors helped him succeed in his communication major and social fraternity. “When I attended CMU, football was my first real experience of social immersion,” said Yetman. For a young impressionable freshman it was sink or swim, “and I did not want to go home.”

Being an athlete at CMU, football was easy to get immersed in. Communication and comedy were hand in hand. Friends were made at practice, games, and nights out. “I would chat with locker mates or position players about what was going on but also to keep the mood light we would do sideline pranks, said Yetman. “Physical shticks were the main gag, but you learn funny.”

Greek life and communication courses took Yetman to the next step as Communication became his future. “When I went to Central Methodist University my intention was business but it was cold and not that creative,” said Yetman. “I took a communication class with Professor Brink and enjoyed creating my own content to share and rarely took the ‘serious’

WE STAND FOR YOU

topics to discuss. I switched majors and never looked back. Communication put me up in front of people regularly and helped me develop a sense of writing.”

Communication degrees help students realize their writing, promoting, or socializing skills early on in the major.

For some, like Yetman, a communication class led him to realize his dream of comedy. “I told my first ever joke on Eagle Radio,” said Yetman. “I loved how free it felt to be silly on air but entertaining. ‘Right after Patrick Swayze died I was on air with my co-host Amanda Kerns (the author of this article). We were the hosts of the Kernsy-Yetti show and she brought the topic up. Without thinking I said, on air, ‘did you hear about Jennifer Gray asking for a front seat at the funeral? No one puts baby in a corner.’ You never forget the first joke.”

For anyone thinking of communication as a major, they will quickly realize socializing is part of the deal. Understanding the ins and outs of the social situations helps young college students realize their potential outside of the classroom. “The social environments that CMU provided were not too scary for a shy kid to get involved,” said Yetman. “Tau Kappa Epsilon (TKE) and CMU Greek life let me be my own design and brand of funny on several occasions.”

Finding your life’s niche is a rewarding feeling and being able to look back and realize where it started is a memory and joke worth preserving.

For Michael Yetman, life experiences are a way to take life a little less serious and just laugh. No matter where he and his comedy go, Yetman has a background built on the life experiences he likes to say out loud and on purpose. “CMU let me grow into something I knew I wanted to do and communication taught me how be funny with any outlet.”

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