To the Cosmos

by: Amanda Buie

2019-2020

The sinister cloak of that night would never evade my memory. I distinctly recall the inky valance draped over the sky, and the distorted, contorted configurations that the stars produced against the void of blackness. The milky blots twisted and danced along the curtain, assisting to highlight the stunning craters of the moon which sat silently- as if on an invisible shelf- in the sky. The lake glistened, mirroring the extraordinary conglomeration of the stars above, only interrupted by the gentle sweep of the waves. The sound of fish breaking the surface of the water reminded me that I wasn’t alone. Bullfrogs croaked from the perimeter of the pond while the crickets sang their love songs. I felt my body begin to float toward the cosmos. I let go of everything and let my body become one with the night. The aroma of untouched earth and fresh rain invaded my nose, making me want to continue inhaling, never letting the freshness go. The water was temperate despite the rather brisk air travelling quickly over the surface of the lake. I continued to let the cosmos sweep me away until I could no longer reach the earth. I began to panic. The kind of panic I felt when I would lose my mother at the grocery store or when loud crashes of thunder rattled the china in the cabinets. I had let the cosmos take me too far. I began to kick my legs violently, trying to make it back to the land but I seemed to only be going in circles. Tears began to burn over my face as I realized that these cosmos were no longer an extraordinary sight, but a treacherous one. I could feel my muscles growing weaker as I continued to tread, searching for earth beneath my feet. Nobody was around to rescue me from the night. This was suddenly unlike the grocery store, where a nice clerk would help me find my mother. This was suddenly unlike the loud crashes of thunder that would rattle the china in the cabinets, where my dad was there to hold me until the storm passed. This was real danger with nobody to rely on. I was continuing to drift farther and farther away from everything I knew, closer now, to the stars, to the moon. I felt miles away from the earth. I could no longer see it. Inky black surrounded my body, staining my clothes and preventing me from moving my limbs. I could feel my lungs growing tighter and tighter as I came closer to the stars and the moon. Soon, I wouldn’t be able to breathe.

Earth seemed entirely out of reach so I accepted my fate. I couldn’t think of a better way to go than to be surrounded by the cosmos. There was no point in screaming as nobody would hear me. The night time creatures would never come to my rescue no matter how many times I had visited them at the lake. I relaxed my body, hoping to break free of the confines of the ink but I was permanently trapped. Deeper, and deeper I went. The pressure on my body was soon unbearable and I began to cry out in pain. My lungs were on fire, my limbs held a crushing numbness. I would only last a few more yards, being pulled into the night abyss. I began to silently thank everyone who had been there for me throughout my life, focusing on them to drown out the pain. I thanked my mother who had always provided for me. I thanked my father who had always made sure I was happy. I thanked my friends from school and finally, I thanked the cosmos for making the night so magnificent. As my legs and arms began to crumble from the pressure, I remembered the first time I learned about the moon at school. How incredibly fascinated I was that I could see something so far away and so old. How men were able to visit the big white sphere. I had never realized there was any danger in visiting. Reality set in as my lungs began to empty for the last time. My vision blurred as I felt my chest crumble. I could only hope that my family would find my body before the fish eat it.

The cosmos had claimed another victim.