Celestial Magazine

House ○ Planet ○ Element ○ Modality

Issue 01 December 2020

Astrology through lived experiences

Celestial

The Aries Issue

Celestial Astrology through lived experiences

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Celestial is a conceptually-based astrology magazine exploring how the themes of the zodiac signs are embedded in lived experiences and social ideas.

Special thanks to: Writers Elena Stavros Vanessa Mabonzo Poppy Fitzpatrick Artists and Photographers Isabella Vit Exposito Elona Beqiraj Featured Connor McWhinnie Sammi Schiller Richard Edwards Angelica Blevins Ella St. Hilaire Celestial magazine Issue no.1 Published December 2020 INSIDE COVER ART Isabella Vit Exposito Made in Australia PRINTED BY Unique Print

Dear Readers,

Image: Library of Congress

I knew I loved astrology from the first moment I came across it.

Granted, I genuinely resonate with the nature of my Gemini sun sign which I recognise isn’t always the case for others. When we think about astrology, we usually picture tabloid horoscopes and crush compatibility charts. But I think there’s something much deeper found within it. I perceive it as a tool, a way to contextualise how I understand myself and the people around me. This was how Celestial was born: from this unwavering obsession of mine, combined with a yearning for astrological content that was relatable and accessible to everyone regardless of their belief system.

What astrology really comes down to is archetypes. We see such common archetypes play out all around us—the born leader who is here to be first, the creative who’s very ethereal in nature, the nurturer who is here to be of service. So I don’t think it really matters if you’re a hardcore astrologer or think it’s a bunch of nonsense. We are constantly having experiences which relate to these astrological themes; it’s part of this thing we call the human condition.

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, the initial spark, the Big Bang.

They’re passionate, enthusiastic, and charismatic, if not a little selfabsorbed and hot-tempered. The mantra for Aries is “I am”, the foundation for discovering one’s Self, identity, and impression upon the world. Independent to a fault, they’re driven, ambitious, hard-workers.

They’re the first to jump, without looking down to see how far the fall is.

Call them reckless, but we have to at least admire them for that.

In this first issue, we will be exploring how the themes of Aries are embodied in real life experiences and social ideas—from discovering one’s identity through style, to overdrive and burnout, to compassionate leadership. You’ll get to hear about people’s passions, learn how to channel your anger, and re-define your idea of beauty. Maybe you’ll see parts of yourself in here, or it will spark inspiration, a change of thought or perception. Or if nothing else, it’ll be mildly entertaining.

I think we all have something to learn from Aries. As bold, brave, and courageous leaders, they’re here to make an impact, to pioneer, and chart new territory. They push us to change, transform and move forward. And arguably, there isn’t a more relevant time than now.

— Chiara Christian

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“Life never seems dull for Arians and those who follow them. Assertive, independent, courageous, adventurous, these freedom-loving natural leaders are always caught up in new experiences. They enjoy initiating enterprises and rising to challenges, and will face any obstacles head on.

Whatever Arian flaws, their courage, raw energy and natural confidence have a value that cannot be overestimated.”

— Roy Gillet, The Secret Language of Astrology

House 14.

Words by Chiara Christian

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Style as Self Expression

Contents

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Generation Selfish?

Words by Chiara Christian Images courtesy of Connor McWhinnie

Planet 24.

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Burnout: A Crisis Of Identity

Words by Elena Stavros

The Case Against Meritocracy

Words by Vanessa Mabonzo Image by Jon Tyson

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How To Channel Anger

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Re-Defining Beauty

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Tales Of Passion

Words By Chiara Christian

Words by Chiara Christian Images by Elona Beqiraj

Interviews by Chiara Christian Image by Sven King Words by: Sammi Schiller Richard Edwards Angelica Blev

Modality 48.

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Compassionate Leadership Words by Chiara Christian Images by Carolyne LorĂŠe Teston

Procrastination Purgatory

Words by Poppy Fitzpatrick Image by Jurien Huggins

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House: First How is the self projected to the world? The first house indicates everything from our physical appearance, how we approach the world, the impression we make, our effectiveness, and self confidence.

Image: Brad Lloyd

Generation Self ish?

By Chiara Christian

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t is a truth universally acknowledged, that every older generation must find ways to hate on those who come after them.

It’s Millennials and Gen Z’s turn to bear the brunt of disapproval. We’re a generation of selfies, of spending exorbitant amounts on avo-smashes and oat-milk lattes, of living at home until we’re 25 in our parent’s basement (and that estimate is modest).

We’re impatient and entitled. We don’t want to “pay our dues” in entry-level jobs with mediocre pay; we don’t save for house deposits. We’re a generation of instant gratification and dopamine hits from likes on our social media. We’d rather spend our money traveling to exotic locations than saving for some notion of “retirement.” If the future ecological state of the earth is questionable anyway, why should we bother?

In this generational war, we have been collectively branded as a bunch of selfish narcissists. And researchers seem determined to prove it—the debate has been going on for over ten years, yet conclusions based on actual data remain murky and undetermined. A meta-analysis conducted in 2008 collectively surveying 16,000 college students over a 30-year time frame found narcissistic personality traits had risen by 30 per cent. The same year, another group of researchers came back with a meta-analysis surveying over 27,000 college kids and found no evidence of it rising. The research continues in this back and forth ping-pong manner, with a recent study in 2017 in Psychological Science finding a small decline; “the narcissism epidemic is dead,” the researchers claim.

The debate, in my humble opinion, is made redundant—the finger

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The debate, in my humble opinion, is made redundant—the finger pointing and casual generalisation of an entire cohort of people deflects the very real challenges we currently face. As millennial journalist Jill Filipovic writes in her book OK Boomer, Let’s Talk, the catchphrase “OK Boomer” is more than just an imperious insult and laughable meme; it’s frustrated shorthand for the ways the same people who created so many of our problems now pin the blame on us.

The reason we don’t buy houses is not because of our excessive brunching. It’s because of an astronomical rise in the price of housing, with a simultaneous stagnation of wages. And if it’s going to be so hard to afford a house, we may as well prioritise experiences over mindless materialism—so yes, we are going to book another trip overseas. We are picky with the types of companies we work for, because we believe that supporting businesses rooted in sustainability and ethical principles will positively affect our experience of the future.

The irony is Gen Z and Millennials are on average, according to 2019 social trends found by the Pew Research Centre, more liberal and socially conscious than any generation preceding them: selfishness doesn’t fit into the equation. We’re the ones on the front lines of climate marches—the Greta Thunbergs—and fighting for social justice in rallies such as Black Lives Matter—according to a Civis Analytics poll, the largest share of protestors in the protests during June were under 35. We’re the ones who have driven the shift towards green diets like vegetarianism and veganism. We’re choosing to not bring kids into the world because we care about issues like over-population and depletion of the earth’s resources.

The truth is, as Dr. Kali Trzeniewski put it, every generation worries about the next generation and think it’s somehow unique to that generation. Does it really matter if we’re more selfish or not? Is finding the answer actually productive in the face of more pressing world issues like inequality or climate change? Perhaps we’re asking the wrong questions, using younger generations as a scapegoat to bypass what we should be addressing. Perhaps there’s common ground we can find between us. I’ll leave you to ponder this and in the meantime, one more avo-smash can’t hurt. ■

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Style as Self Expression Interview and words by Chiara Christian Photographs: Connor McWhinnie

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Fashion is just one manifestation of the ways in which we exercise self-expression and curate our identities. How we dress influences first impressions and how others perceive us; it’s a form of non-verbal communication, revealing our personality without even having to utter a word.

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ur sense of style is never static—it evolves and shape-shifts, alongside our growth as individuals over time. But I think we can all admit there’s just some better fashion phases than others (let’s forget about the Goth phase okay), but it’s all part of the journey.

Style is an art form, in the way colour, textures, and accessories are combined together to create a certain aesthetic. Even if you’re not particularly interested in style, I think we can all appreciate when someone has mastered the art of it. Connor McWhinnie is one of them.

Connor is a graphic designer, content curator, and self-described “pack of skittles” with impeccable style. From the humble early days of being dressed by his mum in Big W footwear, Connor’s interest in fashion began to be piqued in 2015. It started with purchasing a hoodie from the Anti-Social Social Club streetwear brand, which was rather exclusive and hard to come by at the time. Connor explains that he thought he was the coolest kid, but

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looking back sees it as “actually tragic,” much like the Big W situation (although I’m sure I’ve made much worse fashion choices).

Then began “some absolutely atrocious trial and error experiments” on a journey to discover his own personal fashion flavour.

I would never know that now scrolling through his Instagram @connorxel, where he flaunts popping outfits of vibrant colours and contrast, mixed with a generous dollop of 90s street-wear vibes for good measure. Casual, calm and collected, his photos appear like effortless snapshots where he just happens to find himself colour coordinating with the surrounding urban landscape.

But he assures me in no way are these shots spontaneous, but well planned out and articulated in advance. Besides taking the picture itself, which he claims has become easier since figuring out what he likes in each shot (angles are incredibly important), a lot of effort goes into each Instagram post.

“There’s a lot that goes into editing it, and

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Self-taught illustrator and graphic designer, Connor focuses on digital portraits of singers, actors, influencers, and cartoon characters.

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His Instagram shots are usually taken by friends or his mum, who knows his angles well. He avoids self-timer as much as possible, except for one time in the backstreets of Surry Hills (Sydney) where he promises me “never again.”

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“When I was first wearing my outfits I was so scared. I was terrified of what people would say and how people would perceive it and what they would think of me when I was walking down the street.�

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making sure it looks pleasing to the eye. I’m probably making it a lot more scientific than what it is. But there’s a lot of editing and angles, where it sits on your feed, and how you market yourself. So it’s not just take a photo, upload it. There’s editing, there’s angles and making sure it fits the feed. If it doesn’t fit the feed you save it for another time. There’s just so many different elements to it.”

Spending a lot of time getting the perfect shot is just a reality when you’re an Instagram content creator. I’m personally so bad at taking pictures of myself that when I come back from traveling overseas, there’s little evidence I ever left. Perhaps it’s the resistance (and lets be real, embarrassment) of breaking the experience of ‘being-in-the-moment’, by asking someone to take a picture of you. Perhaps surprisingly, that is actually a universal feeling, even for people who create Instagram content as their job.

“I find it so awkward and in a way narcissistic, I really hate it,” Connor says. “I just feel so bad asking people to take a photo because I know how fussy I am. To me it’s a big deal, but to them most of the time they’re like. ‘yeah that’s fine’.”

It’s paid off—after beginning to post pictures of his outfits around 2017, his account has gained traction, enough to score collaborations with brands such as Puma and Happy Socks.

When I ask him about his stylistic inspirations, I’m fascinated to learn that musicians inform his aesthetic more than visual icons. It depends on what he’s listening to at the moment, but generally it includes a lot of artists from the 90s and early 2000s. On his wall, he’s got framed posters of Lil Kim and Britney Spears—we bond over our shared love for Oops I Did it Again, the first song I learnt off by heart at age five, and his current favourite power-song to run to on the last leg home. He’s also obsessed over Princess Nokia and Marina and the Diamonds, the latter from his year

seven teen angst years (mine was Green Day).

The secret sauce to pulling off any outfit is confidence. If you saw a model strutting down the catwalk in a trash bag with absolute confidence without batting an eye, you probably wouldn’t question it. When we wear something that’s a bit out of character for us, more extravagant than usual lets say, naturally we might feel more shy and insecure.

But the good news is it just takes practice and confidence will develop over time.

“When I was first wearing my outfits I was so scared. I was terrified of what people would say and how people would perceive it and what they would think of me when I was walking down the street.”

As an extension of self, fashion allows us to assert our identity in the world and embrace all of who we are. Playing with what we like in style is fun; we don’t have to take it so seriously or even spend a lot of money doing it (Connor opts for thrift stores). It really just goes back to what you feel good in, what makes you feel like yourself. Inevitably, that confidence and comfortability will always shine through.

“I’ve just been very comfortable in who I am, what I wear. Even if people don’t like it or I get some nasty comments online, it doesn’t worry me in the slightest because I’m very comfortable with who I am.”

I think that’s what we can all strive for. We have to be the one to give ourselves the permission slip to wear what we like and own it. Because at the end of the day, the only opinion we need to be concerned about is our own.■

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Planet: Mars Mars is our assertiveness, drive, and physical sexual attraction. It’s the planet that pushes us to act, to keep things moving forward. When over-expressed, it may manifest as relentlessly striving to achieve and compete with others. But when in balance, it may activate the archetype of the courageous warrior within.

Collage by Chiara Christian

Burnout: A Crisis of Identity

By Elena Stavros This story has been adapted from her blog Living on Source.

Burnout is a state of chronic stress resulting in physical and emotional exhaustion, depression and detachment, and a crippling lack of motivation to keep going. But there’s another layer beneath that, which this definition fails to acknolwedge. Elena Stavros shares her journey from top university graduate, to Silicon Valley employee, to extreme burnout.

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s a culture obsessed with productivity, ‘hustling’, and increasingly centring our lives around our career, it’s not surprising stories of burnout are becoming the norm. A Gallup study conducted in 2018 found that nearly a quarter of the 7,500 employees surveyed felt burned out at work often or always.

You don’t wake up and suddenly experience full-blown burnout; it creeps in slowly, almost bypassing your perceptible awareness. But the symptoms begin to add up over time—physical and emotional exhaustion, chronic fatigue, insomnia, and intense anxiety to name a few.

The World Health Organisation in 2019 defined it as an “occupational phenomenon”, resulting from chronic workplace stress that hasn’t been successfully ‘managed’.

But this definition fails to acknowledge a much deeper issue causing burnout. Whilst overworking and being a ‘high-achiever’ certainly plays a role, this superficial understanding of burnout does not take into account the self-abandonment and loss of identity occurring over a lifetime of being moulded by the social conditioning of what defines ‘success’.

From my own experience, burnout is short for a crisis of self-identity, not solely caused by the pure exhaustion from overworking.

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I grew up with the idea that I had to be perfect if I wanted to succeed.

By success, I mean financial independence through a socially respectable career. So I learned the rules of the game in order to excel in the world; I learnt it well. I relentlessly strived my way up the education ladder, and then later through career.

But the truth was I didn’t allow myself to acknowledge who I really was. I had shoved that away from a young age, in order to fit into the world . All I wanted to do when I was a kid was dance—I was a ballerina and it was the only thing I loved doing. But it was considered ‘just a hobby’, not a career. Science and technology was a more socially acceptable route, which led me into engineering school.

Even if I consciously ‘chose’ engineering, I subconsciously did it to impress my parents and their definition of success. What I was actually passionate about was creative self-expression, but I was socially conditioned to believe it wasn’t a viable path for me. As a teen, I was already under crippling pressure to decide upon a career path, which made me feel immensely stressed about making the ‘wrong’ decision. This never-easing feeling of stress and fear for the future starting from my younger years is what culminated in experiencing burnout at age 30.

When I graduated high school, I was accepted into one of the top engineering schools in the UK; my future seemed bright according to what I knew. Unsurprisingly, I absolutely hated engineering school. After an excruciatingly hard five years, I graduated with the conviction that my engineering degree would give me the credentials to do any corporate job I liked.

And that was partly true, as my engineering degree got me a lot of recognition. It wasn’t easy to graduate with a high grade in electronics and electrical engineering from a top university. It gave me a lot of confidence knowing that I could figure out and achieve anything I put my mind on. But it was recognition for my ability to work within the system, not for who I was. I learned that if I wanted to succeed, I had to fake my way through.

Seven years following graduation from university, I finally managed to have it all. I built a very successful career in business, which landed me

“From my own experience, burnout is short for a crisis of self-identity, not exhaustion from overworking.”

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“I had chosen external validation over everything, which in the process led to self-abandonment.”

a job at one of the Silicon Valley tech giants. I had become the ‘perfect woman’ that the teenage version of me had envisioned.

On the outside, I was really proud of myself, achieving this idealised notion of perfection. Yet on the inside, I felt empty, lifeless. I had chosen external validation over everything, which in the process led to selfabandonment. It started to catch up with me; my body couldn’t hide it. I started having panic attacks and my nervous system was shutting down.

Eventually, I was forced to stop and turn inward for the first time ever. I started spending more time alone. I began filtering out all the noise: the numbness of partying, ephemeral people and experiences, the conditioned belief of having to be a certain way, or do certain things. I stopped caring what other people thought. All these were distracting me from the loss of my identity resulting from a lifetime of pretending to be someone I wasn’t.

It was a hard thing for an always-striving-to-be-perfect woman to admit to herself, let alone the whole world, that she wasn’t happy despite attaining ‘success’. To accept what she had worked so hard for was in the end killing her. It came with an immense amount of grief. Grief about the loss of all these years pretending to be someone else.

It’s easier to say burnout means overwork, in a society that rewards the hard-working. It is easier because then we don’t have to face the pain of losing the mask of being perfect, or the grief which follows of having lost ourselves for so long.

Burnout is not overwork; it’s a nervous breakdown caused by a lifetime of the loss of self and one’s true identity. The sooner we tell ourselves the truth we can then move on to reclaim our authenticity and power to create a life we consciously choose.■

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Celestial Image: Olivier

Collet

The Case Against Meritocracy

By Vanessa Mabonzo

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Celestial Image: Jon Tyson

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Meritocracy is the idea that our achievements in life are the result of our own merit, skill, or effort. The ideology tells us if we are ambitious and driven enough to put in the ‘work’, we can become anything we want. Whilst it might appear on the surface our society is meritocratic, if you dig deeper it becomes obvious the system only works for those born into privilege. Vanessa Mabonzo, Finnish born Anthropology student studying in the UK, argues her own personal case against meritocracy.

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o be born in Finland, is to win the lottery,” my primary school teacher proclaimed in awe, to our home, one of the most equal countries in the world. Whether the case was applying for jobs, or government financial assistance—the Finns have equal chances for a good life. The premise being that from hard work can be expected results.

My teacher believed in the concept of meritocracy in which “the talented are chosen and moved ahead on the basis of their achievement.” This fits more than perfectly to the image of a utopian-like welfare state, being surprisingly voted as the happiest country of 2019. Who knew that darkness from October to March creates jolly human beings?

With the principles of meritocracy in mind, I entered the job market. I designed my resume to fit my extensive volunteering experience, and language course trips. My resume looked pretty good, to say so myself. As I landed my first retail job, I was beyond

proud. I got to know my peers and supervisors, befriended them and returned to the same position for three consecutive summers.

Right before going back for my last summer in the job, I experienced hardship that forced me to become racially conscious. I began to see that half of

“Meritocracy works fine for those who the system was built for.” the behavior I deemed as rude or ignorant in the past, actually translated into racism. Comments that made me feel uncomfortable in the past were suddenly explained through terms like microaggression. People who questioned my roots were no longer experienced as merely innocent or curious, but rather as othering

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and excluding. White people are amazed at the fact that we are not given a ‘How to be Black and Deal with Racism 101’ manual when we’re born.

I came back to the same job with the same people, but nothing felt the same. I was hyperaware of the fact that everyone around me was white. Both customers and coworkers. When taking into account all of the employees in this huge building, a tiny portion were from a minority background. In my department I was the only brown person—the other brown people working for the company could be found in stereotypical positions like cleaning and warehousing.

There’s been extensive research conducted in Europe on the issue of discrimination of applicants of immigrant backgrounds. In Finland, similar research was conducted by Akhlaq Ahmad in the Journal of Work, Employment and Society, which found employers were more likely to dismiss applicants who had complicated ‘exotic’ names from non-European backgrounds, which also implied they had darker skin tones. In comparison, an applicant with a native name received 39 per cent more callbacks. Ahmad said the results are “a particular cause for serious concern”, as all applicants had a Finnish education, were raised locally, and had similar work experience.

The experience of being the only person of a

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Image: Omid Armin

“The concept of meritocracy serves the privileged, whose race and class has created an insulated environment which hides them from the reality of other’s experience.”

minority background in the room followed me to university in the UK. The dream of finding more representation at university in a different country was soon broken. Not even universities reward students according to their merit: a mere 56 per cent of black students achieved a First of 2:1 (60-69 per cent grade) in comparison to 80 per cent of their white peers, according to UK Government statistics.

Meritocracy works fine for those who the system was built for. Senior Lecturer Dr. Carol Azumah Dennis accurately described my relationship to university as a “conscious unbelonging… accompanied by a willingness to sneak into the university and steal what I can… to be in but not of the university.”

With the death of George Floyd and the momentum of the Black Lives Matter movement over recent months, I’ve found myself having to process years of racial trauma; I’m growing tired. In my mind, I struggle with the belief that I don’t deserve the same successes my white peers have accomplished over the years. It doesn’t matter if I accomplish something; I still can’t seem to connect those wins to my personal skills and abilities. To this day, I find myself stating I was admitted to university by sheer luck, although I know I’m an intelligent and hardworking student.

After a couple of YouTube searches, it seems

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to me that I’m suffering from imposter syndrome, occurring often among women of colour as we’ve been constantly messaged throughout our entire lives that we are ‘less-than’, or undeserving of success. Our achievements go against this internalised narrative imposed upon us by society. In higher education and corporate environments, a lack of representation reinforces this narrative which perpetuates there’s no opportunity for advancement, simultaneously giving us no one to look up to in terms of managing the realities of stereotype, stigma, and oppression in a white environment.

This text must be bleak for many to say the least.

Yet, to me understanding institutional structures and the issues we have to navigate, as Black Asian Minority Ethnic (BAME) youth, is essential in combatting ignorance and contributing to making a sustainable change.

I cannot feel but hopeful for the future. I believe the universe challenges us on our path of purpose towards personal growth. I find my perspectives and experiences are significant in changing not only my own future, but of those who choose to follow the same path in challenging systemic racism. As future educators, we will be able to explain from our own experiences the very real consequences resulting from

structural violence. Especially from the perspective of being children of first-generation immigrants, whose parents were also new to the challenges their children would soon face once migrating abroad.

The concept of meritocracy serves the privileged, whose race and class has created an insulated environment which hides them from the reality of other’s experiences. By claiming we all have equal starting points, it dismisses our experiences, making it harder to address societal issues. Unfortunately, for individuals who stink of unrecognized privilege, our generation of BAME youth will not stop in demanding respect and claiming their rightful place in society.

You will hear from us as we enter your corporate board meetings, become professors in top global universities, and run for public office. Dramatic? Yes, but change is coming. ■

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Element: Fire Fire signs are passionate, enthusiastic, and energetic. They’re inspiring and action-oriented, often jumping headfirst into situations without a thought for the consequences. Fire can be expressed constructively, creatively and joyfully.

Or conversely, their short-fuse might lead them to erupt in destructive anger.

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Image: Igor Haritanovich

How To Channel Anger

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As a child it’s perfectly acceptable to throw temper tantrums and express the full capacity of your anger. That’s of course, until you learn (or are expected to learn) how to emotionally self-regulate, in which case certain emotions are socially acceptable and others are not.

Anger doesn’t disappear though—it’s one of the most primal human emotions which is bound to arise at one point or another. As Audre Lorde wrote in one of her prolific essays, “anger is loaded with information and energy.” Anger is really just an invitation to look deeper at what is triggering us and how we can create a resolution.

That being said, it has to be channelled healthily in some way. Just preferably, not at other humans.

Scream into a pillow Cheaper than therapy, highly accessible, physically undemanding— there’s basically no down side to screaming into a pillow. “Scream Therapy” has actually been around since the 70s, developed by psychotherapist Arthur Janov after publishing his first book The Primal Scream. He believed all neuroses resulted from the repressed pain of childhood trauma, which could be released through screaming. Whilst the most desirable situation would be to yell into an open canyon or some other natural landscape, I can attest the pillow is still cathartic as heck.

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Run Anger is potent energy that can give you an adrenaline rush—it needs to be burned off somehow. Running never really seems that appealing, until of course you’re boiling over with a red hot rage and with nowhere to go.

Make a personal angry Spotify playlist (dubstep will do the trick), put on an all-black outfit, and run like you’re on your way to murder whatever person or situation ticked you off.

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Write a letter and burn it Burning things also helps, only if you trust yourself to not be an idiot.

Write a letter to whoever is making you pissed off and don’t hold back— make it as foul and vulgar as you possibly can. You’d be surprised at the kind of stuff that comes out on the page. Stuff that will make you think “damn that was really savage.” When you’re done word vomiting, burn that shit and let it go.

Create art I’ve always wanted to re-enact that scene in The Princess Diaries where Mia and her mum are throwing darts at balloons filled with paint, which splatter oh-so-satisfyingly over the blank canvas. Use your anger to create art, but don’t overthink it and don’t try to make it with a goal in mind—just use it as a means of expression. Flick paint aggressively onto a page, write an angry poem, rip things up and cut and paste them together. In your manic-like state, you may even accidently create a masterpiece. Or not, which is fine too.

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Mobilize it into action Maybe it’s not a specific person or situation that’s making you angry. Maybe it’s an entire societal structure, ideology, or political system. Anger is fuel to mobilize action and demand real changes in the world. What can you do on a personal level to contribute to change? Is there a community who is also angry where you can work together and discuss possible solutions? When anger is channeled in such a way, it becomes an unstoppable force and a powerful catalyst that moves society forward.■

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ReDefining Beauty

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Aries rules over the head, the face, and our complexion. As a fire sign, Aries naturally generates a lot of heat. This can manifest in both one’s personality or in the body; in the latter, excess heat can show up as inflammation in the form of acne.

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All images are self-portraits, courtesy of Elona.

Elona Beqiraj is a German 23 year-old Political Science student, author, and photographer. In 2017, she published the photo series Redefining Beauty, which aimed to normalise the experience of acne. The project confronts the stigma around skin conditions, challenging societal ideas of beauty whilst opening up a conversation around skin positivity. The media’s portrayal of a singular and exclusive narrative around beauty excludes the vast majority of us who fall outside of this unrealistic ideal.

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When Elona started to get acne, she continued to post pictures of herself on Instagram as she usually would. However, she began to receive comments which would either insult her or idealise her for being so ‘brave’. These polarising reactions to her skin is what led to the motivation to create the project, as acne shouldn’t be seen as such a big deal.

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Elona’s other creative projects include a poetry volume and photo zine with German publishing house re:sonar verlag. To keep up to date with her upcoming work, follow Elona on Instagram @unesjomajo.

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Tales of Passion Interviews: Chiara Christian Image: Sven King

Healthy passions are like healthy obsessions. They can bring a sense of purpose, but more importantly sanity whilst juggling life’s responsibilities. When witnessing someone talking about their passion, you can visibly see the excitement radiating out of them; it’s written all over their faces. The reason we’re drawn to such different things is because we are all incredibly unique individuals who have our own quirks and weird obsessions. Three people from all over the world share with Celestial their own distinctive passion.

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Sammi Schiller, New York, United States: Miniature things I’ve been passionate about miniatures ever since I can remember. My mum used to take me to antique stores where I would find tiny animal figurines to fill my bedroom shelves with. My other favourites to collect were tiny cakes and tiny animal shaped soaps. My local library as a kid had a miniature replica of a historical house and I remember staring at all of the sweet little details every time my mom took me to the library.

I think that same feeling has just continued into my adult life.

Collecting and making tiny things now reminds me of that genuine joy I felt as a little girl. It just makes me happy and lets me connect to my childhood self.

I started making miniature things at the beginning of quarantine (due to Covid-19) in March. My process begins by dreaming up what I want to create. I like to think of the miniatures I make as a representation of a little magic dream world that only exists in my daydreams. Once I’ve dreamt up what I want to make, I find a YouTube tutorial to get some inspiration on what materials I will need and how I can go about actually bringing the idea to life. I like to combine ideas from different tutorials to create something that works for me.

My favourites I’ve made are the tiny beds. Those are actually what I started out making, and I just think they are so cute. I don’t have one specific favourite but I always love how they turn out. It’s fun to get creative with the headboard materials and fabrics combinations.

I’ve been working with polymer clay a lot. I recently made a few tiny cakes out of clay. I really like making tiny strawberries and mushrooms too. I really want to get better at making tiny sculptures. It’s so relaxing to me and it blows my mind what people can make out of just clay.

I definitely want to keep practicing making tiny cakes as those were some of my favourite things to collect as a child. I’m looking forward to eventually getting a dollhouse that I can fill with my creations.

I just wish people knew how important it is to revisit things you loved as a child. The things you were naturally drawn to as a kid will still bring you joy as your adult self. I think nurturing your inner child really helps you develop hobbies and passions that might feel a little silly to the adult brain, but can bring so much light and joy to your life.

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One of Sammi’s tiny creations: fairy tables and chairs featuring a tiny blue pitcher that replicates her great great grandmother’s collection.

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Richard Edwards, Shoalwater, Australia: Scuba Diving I spent a lot of time in the ocean when I was young. I eventually started diving with a friend when we did our PADI Open Water course together in South Australia through Underwater Sports Diving Centre. We loved it so much we continued on and did our PADI Advanced Openwater course afterwards. We became hooked with the surroundings of the natural environment, seeing creatures and sea life that we would never have the opportunity to see if we weren’t divers. I am now a PADI Divemaster, which is the first level of professional diving in the PADI world.

The most interesting part of diving is the feeling of weightlessness.

You get the same experience as zero-G that astronauts experience when going to outer space. You can move in any direction without restriction. I love exploring new dive site locations and seeing the different sea life that lives in different environments. I love tropical diving because the water is warm and relaxing, and the sea life is very colourful.

My most memorable dive was in South Australia, on an adventure dive off the coast near Adelaide. We were coming to the end of our dive and as we were conducting our safety stop at five metres depth for three minutes, we looked on into the nothingness of the ocean to see a great white shark approach and circle us. Our first instinct was to drop to the bottom and wait, as sharks will attack from below. Thankfully we were wearing a shark shield—it’s a device that attaches to your ankle extending 2.8m via a sheathed cable that emits an electric pulse. It prevents sharks from approaching you within a range of ten metres. The shark circled us and watched us curiously, but never approached us. It was an incredible experience. It left a short time later.

The next course I want to complete is the PADI deep diver course.

This allows you to go down to 40m of depth, which is ten metres deeper than my current qualification. This certification is good for diving overseas on a ship or war wrecks that could include planes, tanks, ships, and submarines. This kind of history fascinates me and being able to dive deeper will allow me to experience more of this.

For those interested in diving, I would say just do it. It is an incredible experience that you will never compare to anything else. You see things that you would never normally see, and be able to explore new places all over the globe. The instructors and dive masters are kind, enthusiastic, and passionate, helping you to discover everything about scuba diving.

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Last year, Richard completed his wreck diving course, which allows him to explore underwater shipwrecks.

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Angelica Blevins, Wellington, New Zealand: Jewellery Making I have been making jewellery for a year now as a student, and just recently began making items for sale. I’ve been interested in learning how to do some sort of metalwork for a while—the idea of creating powerful talismans is so appealing to me. I really want to learn how to forge a sword. But there’s only one metal smith studio that teaches classes in the area, and it’s a bit out of town to become a regular thing at the moment. So I signed up for a jewellery-making course instead to see if working with metal was right for me. It definitely is.

My favourite way to create jewellery is wax casting. I start with a sketch of the piece I have in mind and then use soft purple or brown wax to create it. Then it gets shipped off to the casting studio where they create a mould and cast it into silver or brass. It comes back a few weeks later, and I clean it up by filing away extra bits and sanding and polishing the piece.

I like to play mantras while I work. I believe it infuses each piece with the intention of the mantra, making them powerful energetic pieces.

My first professional jewellery piece I’ve made is a pair of gorgeous dangly snake earrings, which I’ve sent off to the caster recently—I absolutely love them. In this case, because I’m making multiple copies, I took the first casting through all the steps above and then sent it off to make a new, cleaner, master mould.

I’ve also started working on a wax form for a small scarab pendant.

Several years ago I found a small box full of Egyptian revival silver jewellery at my grandma’s place. My grandpa was a book dealer and would buy entire abandoned storage units just to get a few books, so a lot of mystery stuff ended up in boxes in their garage. I fell in love with some scarab pendants and rings I found in there. I swear one of them, a pendant, gave me good luck and angel-level protection. Like walking away from car crashes unscathed type of protection. When I started making jewellery, I knew I would craft scarabs to pay homage to the pieces I found in the garage that started this passion. Sadly, the original pendant that brought me such luck fell off during a long wonderful walk during one of the best parties I’ve ever been to. Bless that little necklace.

I think putting time and effort into making beautiful, mystical objects out of metal is absolutely one of the most empowering types of art and magic I have experienced. If you’re interested in giving it a try, I can highly recommend it.■

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Angelica sees jewellery making as creating pieces of treasure, with metal being a symbol of both strength and beauty.

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Modality: Cardinal Cardinal signs mark the beginning of each season, born initiators and the leaders. They’re the spark that lights the fire, the touch that strengthens confidence, the idea that opens the door, the endurance that enables success. Without Cardinal energy, we’d never be able to start our projects in the first place.

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Image: Kurt Cotoaga

Compassionate Leadership

With Ella St. Hilaire

Interview by Chiara Christian Photographs by Carolyne LorĂŠe Teston

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E

lla St. Hilaire is an artist, writer, teacher, visionary, and badass leader. After studying English at Duke University in North Carolina, she explored corporate careers at Vanity Fair and Christie’s, all the while developing her writing, art, and spiritual practices, ranging from reiki, kabbalah, Buddhism, to Kundalini yoga. After a year and a half of studying to become a doula, the Coronavirus pandemic hit, which put completing her certification on hold. When her plans got derailed to begin working as a doula, she went deep into meditation during quarantine, because “if you’re going to be inside like a monk, you might as well meditate like a monk, right?”

After re-emerging from this period of deep meditation, she founded her business Bedrock Body, which is a community founded on the principles of non-violent embodiment. Here she shares cooking recipes, holds book readings, gives teachings on spirituality, creativity and the divine feminine. The Genius, a recurring virtual month-long course which guides you to “become an instrument of liberation”, was launched in September as part of her business offerings. The first month centers on compassionate leadership at the intersection of social justice and spirituality. I talked to Ella about the launch of her course, activism, spirituality, and what it takes to be a compassionate leader in a time when it’s incredibly needed.

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How was The Genius birthed and I studied for a year and a half as a doula and that name how did the September course on [Bedrock Body] I thought was going to be my Instagram. But compassionate leadership come about? then everything with this year happened and it was put on

pause. I kind of had to rewrite my whole life. [After] George Floyd was murdered, what I saw was a huge outpouring and a huge need for leadership and for people to find a place where they could come to, to talk about what was going on, how to problem solve. I was getting direct messages [on Instagram] and I was like, “listen, I can make this into a business and I’ve got to figure out something to do with my time and my life anyway.” I’m someone who loves to work, loves to work with concepts and loves to work with people. So I was like I can organize this in a way that’s digestible.

The idea for the course was inspired [by her friend’s online course] in terms of putting together all the different aspects of her interests and making it her own. I didn’t have to choose whether I want to be a doula, or a writer, or a painter, or a sculptor or an activist. I could really alchemise all these things together and give an offering for the people and then empower them in that way. The Genius really came out of that, of wanting to empower people in different areas of alignment of what I believe is the vision for a really wholesome person and a really well-rounded human being. Someone who activates their intellect, who activates their body, who activates their spirit.

The theme for each month is based on the chakras. I decided the first month of the course was going to be September because that was the earliest I could get it together. This month’s theme is the heart chakra. So I wanted to do something that was social justice based but had to do with the heart chakra. As soon as we open up our hearts to others we feel into the love and empathy we want in the world and can act on it. The course is at the intersection of that spiritual activation of the heart feeling, but also going one step further and going “how am I going to be a leader with this” and “what am I going to do with this feeling.” Through meditation I got all of it.

What does it mean to be a compassionate leader and what are the qualities of compassionate leadership?

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Compassionate leadership for me starts with being compassionate for yourself and embodying compassion. I think compassion is where you meet empathy with action. So it’s not only that feeling in your heart of “I sympathise” or “I know how you feel.” Compassion goes a step further into action, into doing

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At 27, Ella has lived all over the world from the United States, to Europe, Haiti, Canada, and parts of Africa.

She currently resides in London, where she moved to from New York in September this year.

something about it, into problem solving, into logic and applying your knowledge and your skill set, and to really stepping forward. So that’s the compassion aspect I teach.

Leadership is about moving people and inspiring them with your charisma and your talent. That means embodying yourself as you are and showing up in the world and being vulnerable about your story, being knowledgeable and grounded, but also standing in your moralities and being the person you want to see in the world. If we see injustices, if we see something unethical, if we’re sad about climate change or whatever, it’s like “okay how can I reduce my waste?” That’s being a leader. It’s really just an embodiment of values and inspiring others to do the same.

I think the most challenging part for people to understand is the charisma part and how to show up fully in the world. I think a lot of people are fearful of speaking up and using their voices. That’s where the other months of the course come in, chakra by chakra. Next month is going to be throat chakra and that part of leadership is going to be about projecting your message into the world. It’s a step-by-step process and I think our best leaders have shown that it’s a journey, that it takes time, and that you can still be internally compassionate and internally loving and internally very non-violent as well. That’s the basis of the principles of what I teach, embodying non-violence—it really solves a lot of the problems in our world by being that gentle, loving person in everything that we do.

What are your thoughts on the I don’t believe that in order to have a successful movement in any intersection between spirituality area of the world that you can have social justice without spirituality. and social justice?

Because spirituality is an embodiment of ethics, values, of being connected to one another, of being a deep and profound person, and of enjoying life and making life better, and making life worth living.

I mean, why do we practice spirituality? We’re here to improve ourselves, to expand our spirits, expand our souls and be better—that’s spirituality to me. Without that, social justice is just empty demands. You need soul, you need spirit, you need to move people. You need to have a spiritual creed. It’s one of the things Dennis Dalton is teaching in the course. He was a teacher at Colombia for 39 years on non-violence. He actually met Malcolm X and Martin Luther King. He tells me that the three most important factors of a sustainable movement are one, leadership, two, spiritual creed and really standing by a spiritual ethos, and three, organization. So you need those things for sustainable movement and

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what we do in the course is analyse the ways in which Black Lives Matter falls short in a certain way. The reason why it’s falling short, in Dennis’s opinion and I certainly agree with his analysis, is that we don’t have an extremely charismatic leader as we did with the Civil Rights Movement.

We had Martin and we had Malcolm to compliment each other and to push people forward into inspiration.

There’s a quote by JFK, and even JFK you would think is an extremely charismatic leader right? But JFK said once, “when I make a speech people clap, and when Martin makes a speech people march.” That’s the difference and that’s what Dennis is talking about as well. He said when you were in the room with Martin or Malcolm there was an electricity, there was this force and power. I think that can only be explained by their embodiment of a spiritual creed and the fact they went through a spiritual purification and were connected to that source to be able to help people.

What is your take on optical ally-ship within the spiritual community? *Optical allyship as defined by Latham Thomas, is “allyship that only serves at surface level to platform the ‘ally’, it makes a statement but doesn’t go beneath the surface and is not aimed at breaking away from systems of power that oppress.”

In terms of optical and performative allyship, what I told my students in the course is that performative ally-ship isn’t a problem in and of itself. It’s a problem with performative society. The ways in which we are extremely superficial with a lot of the things we do. So it’s not necessarily just ally-ship or just activism or just spirituality. It’s a societal problem and it’s a moral problem. It’s like how do you show up in the world? Are you profound? Are you deep? Do we show up for one another? Do we inspire one another? It’s in the small things. When a friend calls, are you available to be there for that person? Or are you just going to be like “I’m sending you support, love and light”? That’s performative, and it percolates into everything we do. If we do something meaningfully, and with all of our hearts and compassion and we really embody that presence and power that spirit gives to us, it won’t be performative because everything that we do will have the backing of true meaning to it.

How can we sustain our action and activism even when the ‘steam has blown off’ and our socials have gone back to normal?

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For me a sustainable movement is a lifetime movement.

It’s a dedication to bettering yourself for the sake of being of service to others. Sustainability is a day-to-day thing, and you have no trouble doing it because that’s your ethical moral position in life. It’s all about embodiment.

It’s not about getting all hot-headed and going out into

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○ Modality ○ the streets and expressing all that anger and the next day being so drained and you can’t do anything. For me, the movement is my life. It’s in everyway that I talk with people, it’s in the way I consume goods, it’s in the way I choose to work, it’s in the way that I choose to lead a life. It doesn’t become an issue about burnout or sustainability when I think of it in that way because we simply just get to show up as the best version of ourselves and if every person does that, then we have a movement. What is profound and deeper and more long term is doing the work when no one is watching.

“Leadership is about moving people and inspiring them with your charisma and your talent.”

A foundational element Ella focuses on in The Genius course is “decolonising” our minds, which involves challenging the political, intellectual, and structural legacies of colonialisn and racisim.

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We have this idea of leaders being perfect and never being human or messing up.

How can we show up as leaders and be vulnerable, make mistakes, and then still retain some sense of integrity?

There’s a quote from Malcolm X—“There is no better teacher than adversity. Every defeat, every heartbreak, every loss contains it’s own seed, it’s own lesson on how to improve your performance the next time.” In that statement there’s something we can apply internally as well as externally. If you’re feeling a sense of opposition within yourself, if you’re feeling insecure, if you’re feeling imperfect, that’s an adversity you’re embodying. The only answer is to learn from it, what is it saying about you? It’s an opportunity for growth. What am I really insecure about? How can I really improve? And how can I really show up in the world with fearless courage no matter what and to continually show up? It’s really difficult. It’s really easy to give up on ourselves and to make excuses to not do the work. To just avoid the real grit, the real ugly, nasty parts of what goes on behind the scenes when no one is watching.

But the way to show up vulnerably is to tell your story, to share with others, to connect with other people.

Something that my teacher taught me is “don’t share the mess, share the message” and that really resonated with me. [On people over-sharing on Instagram] It can seem a bit messy at times, unless you got a message to go with it. To not share yourself for the sake of sheer exposure, but to actually deliver a message. Being vulnerable is an asset as a leader—it’s not a weakness. We all go through those moments and we want to connect and we want to feel like other people are also overcoming their personal situations. The difference between regular complaining and a leader is that the leader transmutes it into a powerful message and into a higher purpose and meaning.■ Follow Ella on Instagram at @ellatheorchid and her business @bedrockbody. For more information on her course The Genius, head to her website: www.bedrock-body.com/genius.

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Procrastination Purgatory

By Poppy Fitzpatrick

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My fragrant bed sheets hang damp on the clothesline in the afternoon breeze. The plants on my windowsill are freshly watered. I can see my reflection looking up at me from the bathroom tiles; they’ve never looked so shiny, and my furrowed brows have never looked so perfectly groomed. I can finally close my chest of drawers, which I’ve manically re-organised. Thank you, Marie Kondo.

Everything is in place. Everything is perfect.

Except, of course, for the long list of things that absolutely are not.

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y inbox overflows with unread emails; my messenger app sits dormant as days-old conversations are left unopened; a terrifyingly blank white page plagues my every thought.

Now seems like the perfect time to walk the dog. I block out the white page with the white noise of a podcast. Another hour is gone and a few thousand steps are gained, along with a uselessly deepened knowledge of the science behind procrastination.

In my frantic search for relief in science and logic, I am instead burdened by the realisation that I’m stuck in a paralysing pattern of self-sabotage. Procrastination, so I thought, was only a minor quirk of laziness. But apparently it stems from deeper emotional roots of selfdoubt, perfectionism and avoidance. Emotional regulation, which procrastinators often lack, gives the ability to begin a task that may feel challenging and uncomfortable. In other words, non-procrastinators are able to delay instant gratification in the anticipation of the wellbeing and satisfaction of their ‘future self’.

I’ll have to Google some self-help on this. But I can do that later.

Thinking about how much time I’m wasting sends waves of anxiety through my stomach, yet my fingers still hover over the keyboard, unable to escape the procrastination purgatory I’ve trapped them in.

I force my fingers to type another line, but somehow find them mindlessly reaching for the hundredth spoonful of the ever-decreasing jar of biscuit spread. I remind myself that eating is yet another unsuccessful form of emotional regulation. But my goodness, it’s delicious.

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I clean last week’s toast crumbs off my laptop keys. I cook a bulk batch of vegetable curry. I check in on my sad friend. I squeeze my blackheads.

I colour coordinate my wardrobe. I polish my shoes. I call my parents.

I message friends for knock off drinks, begging for an excuse to leave the four walls of this small white prison. I scold myself for my total lack of drive. I medically self-diagnose my inability to focus as some sort of neurological disorder.

The guilt, blame, and ‘negative self-talk’ resulting from procrastination has an entire body of research dedicated to it. The Procrasintation Cognitions Inventory maps the automatic thought patterns that arise during procrastination, which unsurprisingly are psychologically distressing. Ironically, my avoidance of negative emotions in the shortterm actually exacerbates the feelings I’m trying to avoid. Maybe this means I could get a medical certificate? That would buy me a few more days. Then I could organise the pantry this afternoon.

I slam my laptop shut. I’ve decided to let myself off the hook, but the suffocating stench of defeat lingers in the room. Yet when I open the door, the delicious waft of vegetable curry replaces it. My sheets, now crisp and dry, wave at me as they bask in the glorious afternoon light. The dog lolls on his mat with content. My skin is absent of small black blemishes. My sad friend is doing okay; better now, knowing I was thinking of her. Maybe the time wasn’t entirely wasted.

The deadline anxiety dissipates just long enough to let a creative thought strike. I reopen my laptop, and within the hour I fill a page.

— It’s not great. But it’s something. And sometimes done is better than good. Whilst having high standards for myself is usually a good thing, I have to let go of the perfectionism and let the details slide—forgiveness and self-compassion are said to be the antidotes to procrastination.

I can’t help but see the beauty in the fruits of my distraction. Because whilst drowning in a pool of self-induced stress, I am reminded that life keeps happening around me. At least now it’s happening with clean floors.

But I’m also exhausted from all this procrastination. So that’s going to have to be enough for now. I’m off to have a beer.■

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Thanks for reading

Celestial This project was submitted as a final year major work in Media in Communications at the University of Sydney. To contact the editor for more information about the project, email chiara.christian13@gmail.com.

celestialmagazine.wordpress.com Celestial

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