LOVE TRIUMPHS OVER ANGER

‘Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the devil an opportunity.’

(Ephesians 4:26 CSB)

In a chapter all about living a new life with Jesus, we find the title verse.

Right in the midst of a passage around futile thought lives, hard hearts, lying, stealing and foul language we find this gem around anger.

Now, I love that God gives us permission to feel the emotion of anger.

He is not telling us to behave like robots who respond only with positive emotions all day every day. He knows we are frail and human and will occasionally feel upset, which may demonstrate itself in anger.

The guidance, however, is not to sin. To not let anger have more rule in our lives than it should.

We are not to let the day end whilst we are still angry. It’s too risky. It allows the enemy to get a foothold in our lives and wreak havoc in our relationships.

The guidance to not let the sun go down whilst we are still angry, though very basic and straightforward, can be a little more complex to follow through on.

Anger can become an all-consuming force that takes over our rational thinking and damages our ability to think clearly. We may lash out, hurting those around us with our tongues... or worse.

There is, however, hope.

There are ways in which we can handle our own anger to ensure that we don’t sin.

• Take a few moments to think, before you speak.

Words can be so hurtful. The adage that claims sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will never hurt us is simply untrue. They can cut deeper than any other offense and be remembered for a long time to come. When you feel anger arise in your chest and you are tempted to lash out with your words, take a moment. Even if it is as simple as counting to 10 before you speak; do it. It could rescue you from breaking down a relationship that you really care about.

• Get out of the house and exercise.

Endorphins and fresh air, a change of space and place, can do wonders for a temper and feelings of anger. Go for a walk. Shake it off. Think. Process. Digest. Then, when you return to the person or situation that has created your angry feelings, you will hopefully have a more balanced view of the issue and be able to tackle it with maturity and wisdom.

• Try to think of a solution.

Rather than dwelling on the problem that has caused your feelings of frustration, try to funnel that energy and effort into thinking of a solution. Pick apart the dilemma and approach it in a different way. Surely, you will find a new way to handle the circumstance, one that doesn’t involve anger.

• Once you have calmed down, share your concerns.

Perhaps most importantly, remember to address the original situation that started your angry feelings. Once you have taken a walk, sat on a step, exercised and thought about your words, come back and talk. Share with the person you need to how you feel and why you felt so upset. This approach gives the best chance for the future of your relationship to succeed and flourish. Don’t rehash the situation, simply process a solution together, forgive and move forward.

I hope that these nuggets of advice have inspired you and will help you to not let the sun go down whilst you are still angry. Resolution, reconciliation and compromise are the ultimate goals of any conflict. They ensure that love will always triumph.

BY CHARMAIN HIBBERD CREATIVE MEDIA COORDINATOR