Dating Etiquette: It’s Always in Fashion

The “Perfect” Dress

The table … and all that silverware!

Ok, it may not be perfect but it should be appropriate. Be thoughtful about what you wear. How does what you choose reflect who you are? When selecting a dress, be careful about the fit, length, what it reveals and what it shouldn’t. The wrong dress can send the wrong message about who you are and what kind of behavior your date can expect. Be aware of your body type and what fits you; there’s something flattering for every body type to show off your best self.

Dating Etiquette: It’s Always in Fashion A guide for Guys & Girls

Left to right, bottom: salad fork, dinner fork, dinner plate with napkin, dinner knife, soup spoon.

Top: bread place with butter knife, dessert spoon, dessert fork, water glass, and iced tea, juice or wine glass.

Use silverware from the outside first, leaving the salad fork on the plate when you are finished. Leave the soup spoon on the dinner plate when you are finished. For dessert; use a fork if it crumbs or flakes; use a spoon if it drips or melts.

If it does both, use either.

Remember…

Manners are timeless. Back in 1703, John Baptist de La Salle wrote in his book, The Rules of Christian Decorum and Civility, “We must behave properly not merely because this will save face, but because we owe this respect to one another, for we are the children of God.”

If grace is said, place the napkin in your lap after grace. Otherwise, wait for the hostess to put the napkin on her lap before doing so yourself.

A final thought on food: The world is your oyster…just use the right fork!

People with good manners have a definite edge in the world and when dating, too.

 Whether you’re a guy or a girl, good manners is simply treating others in ways that let them know you’re aware of their feelings and that those feelings matter. So even when you don’t know the rule to follow, you can’t go wrong by being considerate.

Hardly anyone talks about manners today.

While some people think it’s old fashioned, knowing the basics of dating etiquette may be more timely than you think.

So consider these tips as tools that can help you make a great and lasting impression. © Illustrated by Amanda Maurer, CBHS ‘15 Written by Susan Bitar & Sophia Davis, CBHS ‘14

A Guide for Guys The Rule: When you ask a girl, you make the plan How to ask a girl out or to a dance?

Ask in person, not via text, email, or even voicemail. Fun, creative ideas that include food and/or flowers will work too. Be sure to give her ample notice: two weeks is reasonable; two days is not.

What’s your role?

Plan the night and let your date know what to expect.

Start with transportation. Let her know who’s driving, what time you’ll pick her up, and if pictures will be taken before or during the event and where. And let her know where you’ll be having dinner, how you’ll get to and from the dance, and if you have plans for any “after parties.”

What to wear?

Let’s be real: guys do care what they look like. While guys may spend a fraction of the time it takes for girls to get ready, they have an image, too. Remember to talk with your date about what you plan to wear so that you don’t clash clothing-wise.

Greeting and Meeting Arrive in a clean car with a full tank of gas. When meeting her parents, smile and look each parent in the eye. Extend your right hand to shake her mother’s right hand first and then her father’s. If you’re meeting them for the first time, introduce yourself with your full name as you shake hands. Say goodbye to her parents as you leave.

Getting to Your Destination As you leave, open the door for your date. Hold open and close all car and building doors for your date throughout the evening (even if she’s driving).

Girls usually precede guys in the theatre, church, movies, restaurants, etc. and help her to be seated. Guys, on the other hand, lead the way through crowds and traffic. On sidewalks, guys should walk nearest the street to ‘protect’ the girl.

Time to Eat! Make dinner reservations, preferably at a restaurant you’re familiar with so you know it’s appropriate for the occasion. Plan at least an hour and a half to eat, especially if you’re part of a large group. See your date to her seat, pull out and push in her chair. When you sit down, don’t leave the napkin lonely, it belongs in your lap. At the end of the meal, place your loosely folded napkin to the side of your plate.

When the bill arrives, be sure to calculate the tip (or gratuity). Fifteen percent is the minimum; doubling the tax is the quickest calculation. For parties of eight or more, a 20 percent tip is expected. Make sure you have ample cash; it’s the easiest way to pay.

Time to Dance Be kind, polite, respectful and attentive to your date, or it may become your last date with that person. Even if you aren’t enjoying yourself, being unkind only makes you look bad. Being attentive to your date doesn’t mean totally excluding others in the group or at the party. Remember your manners: Say “please,” “thank you,” “after you,” “you’re welcome,” etc. And acknowledge each others’ courtesies with a smile and/ or “thank you.”

At the End of the Night Even if you had a bad time, walk your date to the door and thank her.

Then what?

The best thing to expect is nothing. Nothing is “owed” for being a date.

A Guide for Girls The Rule: When you ask a guy, you make the plan Much of what is expected of guys is also expected of you. Ask in person and with reasonable notice. It’s your turn to plan the night, so wash the car, fill it with gas – you can still let your date open and close your door – and arrive on time. Greet his parents properly by saying hello. If it’s your first meeting and your date does not introduce you, introduce yourself and shake his mother’s hand and then his father’s. When you arrive at the restaurant, you can still lead the way, and he can still see you to your chair, but you pick up the tab.

Time to Dance If your date is a friend, be careful not to ignore him and only spend time with your girlfriends. If your date is your boyfriend, be careful not to ignore your friends and only spend time with him. Learning the right balance of socializing is an important skill.

At the End of the Night Now it’s your turn to walk your date to the door and thank him.

Now what?

The same is true when the guy is the date: No expectations at the end of the night.

The Rule: When a guy asks you, he makes the plan

All you have to do is be ready on time, right? Right!

So don’t make him wait. When he arrives, greet him at the door and lead him to your parents so that he can say hello or you can introduce him, if it’s your first date.

The “Perfect” Dress The amount of time and energy girls put into finding the “perfect” deserves Captiondress describing pic- its own space. See the back center panel for words of wisdom on “The ture or graphic.

‘Perfect’ Dress.”