Bereavement Committee Reaches Out With Compassion

As a parish community, we are called to serve our brothers and sisters in Christ — and when someone loses a loved one, it’s a time when they need that helping hand the most. St. Theresa’s Bereavement Committee is committed to serving grieving familiesand providing them with support throughout the funeral process.

“Our baptismal calling is to love and support one another as sisters and brothers in Christ,” says Bereavement Committee Chair Jenny Gutierrez. “The mission of our ministry is to provide spiritual, emotional and practical assistance to grieving individuals and families. We workclosely with the grieving families, supporting them spiritually, and help them prepare for a Christian funeral by coordinating with the presider, our Pastoral Associate Candie Pinaula, and our Music and Liturgy Director, Alexandria Nicholl.”

The Bereavement Committee was formed shortly after Fr. Terry Watanabe was appointed as pastor in 2008 — he expressed a need to serve grieving parishioners through this ministry. At around the same time, Jenny and her family became parishioners at St. Theresa and joined the ministry soon after.

“I was no stranger to ministering to the bereaved,” she says. “My husband, Fred, our children, Freddie and Jon, and I lived in different countries working with the U.S. Military. While stationed in those countries, I was trained by the military chaplains in various ministries, includingbereavement. In addition, while living in Newbury Park, Calif. prior to moving to Maui, I was actively involved in bereavement. The catechesis and training I have received is instilled not only in my mind but in my heart — to foster good listening skills, to be able to pray with people, to convey sympathy, flexibility in scheduling, sensitivity to the particular needs of each family, and to maintain confidentiality.

“Over the years, I have been fortunate to work closely with Candie, who has guided me to understand the spiritual aspects and the fundamental requirements of this ministry,” she adds. “I feel prepared to minister to the grieving with compassion and confidence.”

To schedule a funeral, the parish office uses a worksheet form to confirm the date and time of a funeral service, as well as details such as the presider(s), music, readings and liturgical ministers. The Bereavement Committee then makes arrangements with the family for refreshments before the Mass and/or a luncheon after the Mass. Committee ministers are present on the day of the funeral itself. They arrive early to pray together and set up the church and reception hall before the family arrives, and then serve guests at the luncheon. Ministers do not leave until after the Mass is ended, the family has left, and everything is put back in place and cleaned up.

Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, the committee has had to adapt to the new guidelines set for funeral Masses and gatherings. Since fellowship before and after the funeral is not possible, many families have opted to distribute boxed bento lunches outside the church after the Mass, while maintaining physical distancing.

“The ‘no visitation’ policy is especially challenging to the grieving during this COVID-19 crisis,” Jenny says. “As we know, the grieving process lends toward

physical comforting and support. We are making sincere and compassionate efforts to translate, explain and instruct each family, according to their needs, what we can and cannot do. This calls for a very pastoral and creative approach from bereavement ministers, staff, ushers and all ministry servers.

“Our pastor and the St. Theresa Church staff are working hard to discern how to meet the needs of families, to comply with Church directives, and to be in compliance with CDC guidelines,” she adds. “We the bereavement ministers volunteer and serve willingly to help be a part of smooth and transitional changes as necessary.”

Over the years, the committee has received many positive and encouraging responses from the families of the deceased, as well as from the directors of Maui mortuaries, who have been very supportive of the efforts and guidelines St. Theresa has put in place. For more information about the ministry, or to get involved, please contact the parish office at 808-879-4844.