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The Widows Wisdom Circle: FINDING COMFORT AND CAMARADERIE IN FELLOWSHIP
After becoming a widow, life changes drastically — and who can better understand this than others who have also gone through it? St. Patrick’s Widows Wisdom Circle brings widows together for support, fellowship and camaraderie.
“Two years ago, my husband died,” says ministry member Janice O’Brien. “I know two other ladies from the church who are also widows, so I got together with them and asked what they thought about starting a Widows Wisdom Circle. Widows have wisdom because they’ve usually lived pretty long lives and had long married lives. When you’re thrown into a whole new way of living by yourself after having lived with someone else for such a long time, it can be very difficult. But it can also be a gift — your life isn’t over because your spouse died. It can be a way to find your new self, your new purpose in life, and figure out what you’re going to do next.”
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The ministry meets on the second and fourth Friday of each month — they attend the 8:30 a.m. Mass together, and then gather for fellowship and discussion afterward until around 10-10:30 a.m.
“We have a list of questions we’ve put together, such as, ‘What do I find the hardest in my life now without my spouse?’, ‘How did they die, and was it a peaceful death?’, or ‘How do we celebrate their lives now?’” Janice says. “We share about our backgrounds and what we’re going through emotionally as well as physically. We also make sure that we are always inviting new people, whether they are a new widow or have been a widow for a while because life as a widow is very challenging.
“It’s hard to be flying on your own, but when we get together with others who are going through similar things, it is so comforting and so healing,” she adds. “It helps to know somebody who has gone through the same thing that you have.”
Recently, one of the group’s discussions was how individual relationships with God have changed or grown since their spouses’ have passed.
“Everybody, without exception, has grown so much spiritually, and has such a close relationship with Jesus, Mary, and the Holy Spirit,” Janice says. “It’s almost like
we’re being called to a greater holiness because we’re alone, and have more time for meditation and prayer. That is actually really wonderful.”
Gathering together has also inspired these women to find purpose in life again.
“If we’ve been married, and have raised children and grandchildren as our focus, now it’s like God has asked us to move into a different focus,” Janice says. “What do we want to do with our knowledge, wisdom, and energy now? Right now, a lot of us feel really called to do this ministry for others — to invite people in, comfort them, listen to them and reassure them. We want to find a way to go on that is peaceful and meaningful for us, even though we’re alone.”
The ministry has also heard from many women who were widows but are now remarried, and have a lot of insight about how to love again after losing a spouse.
“Attending church is important, but it’s also important to be the church to each other and to be the love of God to one another,” Janice says. “We learn from each other, and from listening to each other’s stories. It’s really amazing.”
St. Patrick’s Widows Wisdom Circle brings widows together for support, fellowship and camaraderie.
