Finding sobriety and safety from abuse

Recorded on the pages of the journals she keeps, Sheala is writing the story of her life. The early chapters are filled with trauma, addiction and abuse. The middle chapters are about treatment, sobriety, and finding peace as a single mother.

“Since April 20, 2022, the story has a more positive outlook,” Sheala says, proudly sharing her sobriety date. “I have fought so hard to get to this point.”

Sheala abused a variety of drugs off and on for years. She was in and out of an abusive marriage for 13 years. When she stood up for herself and fought back, she landed in jail. The courts took her two older children from her ex-husband, and Sheala gave her 18-month-old daughter to her grandmother so she could get high one evening.

She rebelled against expectations during stints of outpatient treatment. She began a second relationship which turned abusive; that abuser eventually went to jail for continuing a pattern of stalking and abuse even after the relationship ended.

“I struggled with that relationship. I wasn’t taking care of myself. I was in and out of outpatient treatment,” she says. “I was a monster in my kids’ eyes.”

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Sheala hit rock bottom in March 2022 when she overdosed on heroin. Surviving that gave her a new determination.

Karlee, a SAFE Project case manager, has worked with Sheala since the summer of 2022.

An outreach program of Harbor House in partnership with the Kansas Department for Children and Families, SAFE Project helps survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault with safety, advocacy, financial education and employment so they may live a life independent of their abuser.

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“Karlee was a big support early in my recovery,” Sheala says, explaining that Karlee helped her with safety planning, learning to spot “red flags” in relationships, and in obtaining a protection from abuse order. Karlee connected her to community resources and helped her obtain the long-term, safe housing she would need to earn back custody of her children.

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Sheala says she had always been jobfocused – she needed money to feed her addiction – but now she is driven to provide for herself and her children.

Sheala says she had always been jobfocused – she needed money to feed her addiction – but now she is driven to provide for herself and her children.

In early August 2023, she earned back custody of her youngest child, an 11-year-old daughter who is legally blind.

As she records the next chapters of her life in her journal, Sheala sees a brighter future. Possibly as a domestic violence advocate or drug counselor.

“I want all three of my kids at home, in my own place and doing the single mom thing,” she says, adding that remaining sober is the top priority. “I’m not interested in a relationship; I had been so dependent on others that now I want to be self-dependent rather than co-dependent.”