We & Thee, Winter 2021

WINTER 2021

“Alone we can do so little.

Together we can do so much.”

— HELEN KELLER

e m o c wel

to

CFS Summer Programs cfsnc.org/summer

A RANGE OF EXPERIENCES FOR AGES 4-18!

• Nature Lab • Activism • Harry Potter • Minecraft • STEM • Sports • Cooking • Digital, Visual, and Performing Arts

A Safe Place to Explore Our 2021 Summer Programs students will benefit from the successful, multi-layered safety protocols developed this year for our school community.

As a result, our class sizes will be smaller, so early registration is encouraged!

Personalized Camps In addition to our wide variety of courses, we are also offering weekly, customized experiences for groups of 6-10 children. Bring your pod!

Counselors-In-Training and Interns We’re glad to welcome back CITs and Interns to our program this year! See our website for more details.

Voted Best Summer Camp in Orange and Chatham Counties by Indy Weekly readers!

Winter 2021 4

A Note From Karen

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A Lesson in Courage

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Building on the Past, Looking Forward

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The Origin of a Name

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Our Afghan Sister School Partnership Finds A New Way to Support Topchi School

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Engage and Inspire: Encouraging Youth Political Involvement

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It’s Never Too Late

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Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Updates

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Making Our Way to the Peace Bench

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Ask the Expert

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Hot Off the Press

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Social Connections

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Athletics Update

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Gratitude: A Student Perspective

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Welcoming New Staff

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Welcoming New Trustees

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Annual Report: 2019-2020

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Alumni News

We & Thee is published by

4809 Friends School Road Durham, NC 27705 919.383.6602 | www.cfsnc.org

Our Campus Early Schoolers take advantage of all of our indoor and outdoor spaces for learning and reflection.

Karen Cumberbatch, Head of School Katherine Scott, Communications Coordinator Photo credits include: Ahmed Selim, Anne Jones, Anthony L. Clay, Carly Chapman ‘94, Chris Rupert, Elizabeth Hunter Kesling, Jeannine Borzello, Katherine Scott, Kim Sulman, and Laura Shmania.

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A Note from karen One year ago, we were preparing our Winter 2020 issue with no idea how severely our work and our lives would soon be impacted.

After a spring with so much upheaval, we spent the summer in planning and reflection, sharing in our summer issue how we as individuals and as a community were processing quickly changing information on public health, the rise in racial justice protests, and a transition to largely distanced and virtual life.

As I write to you now, I admit I am writing from a place of inner conflict. I am heartened by our strength and resilience, by the tremendous amount of work on display by our learning community and society to adapt our way of life, to create a vaccine, to sustain and support each other as best we can. I feel frustration in the unfulfilled promise of our country’s social justice aims to create a more equitable and just society. And I am reeling from the violent insurrection we witnessed on the floor of Congress just days ago.

I know that each of you, like me, holds your own unique mix of emotions and reactions as we process all that has happened and is happening. It is important to acknowledge the weight that we are carrying. We owe it to ourselves to address our social-emotional needs while finding the glimmers of hope that can feed our strength. We also owe it to each other to ask what is needed of us to help others find hope and courage.

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These months of hardship have laid bare so many truths, but they have also affirmed and uplifted one thing I already knew to be true — that this incredible learning community is one built on respect, shaped by passionate dedication, and defined by love. I see that love in the care with which our teachers nurture our children’s curiosity. I see that love in alumni who are eager to aid students and staff. I see that love in the ways our students use their voices to advocate for others. I see that love in the trust we build, in the connections we make, in the contributions of hundreds to nurture the mission of Carolina Friends School.

Know that I continue to hold all of us in the Light. I hope that among the updates, reflections, and news in this issue, you are able to find sparks of hope, joy, and courage.

I leave you with this quote from Nelson Mandela, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”

In peace,

Karen Cumberbatch Head of School

A LESSON IN COURAGE Inspiration Comes in Many Sizes Before the pandemic, Lower Schooler Owen Palmer created a book as part of a Sky Class project. Each student not only wrote a book, but also drew their own illustrations and folded the paper together to create a bound copy, complete with a cover. Inspired by a recent visit from the author Matt De La Peña, who shared with the children his latest book, Love, teacher Natasha Shannon invited students to make their own book about love or about another emotion. Owen chose courage.

Owen’s mother Rebecca recently found the book, which has taken on a whole new significance after our shared challenges of the past year. Now in Fountain Class (the name for the cohorts of third and fourth grade students typically in Forest and Mountain Classes), Owen shares the following reflection, “Courage then for me was playing with a new friend. I think it takes courage to always try your best, even when you lose. It takes courage to not be a sore loser. Here are some ways I get courage: friends, family, support, directions from my teachers, relaxation, to practice and just try something.”

In addition to being the author of Courage, transcribed below, Owen also loves soccer.

Courage, by Owen Palmer To Mom, Dad, and Wyatt Courage is being in the forest alone.

Courage is climbing a 50 feet rock wall.

Courage is diving.

Courage is saying “stop.”

Courage is on stage.

Courage is playing with a new kid.

Courage is doing a test.

Courage is something hard for you and you do it.

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building on the past, looking forward A school is more than a list of programs and features, more than a logo, more even than a philosophy or mission statement. A school has a purpose, a personality, formed throughout its years in existence by the unique contributions of those in its learning community. All those parts form a whole made manifest by the emotional connections of deeply felt relationships. While our most recent strategic vision, The Dream That Drives Us, examined our aspirational goals as a school and how to achieve them, we have also been engaged in a multiyear process to reflect on who we are and how to best articulate that to a diversity of new staff members, families, and community partners.

In the summer of 2019, we began working in partnership with Mission Minded, a branding firm that works exclusively with nonprofits, to begin the process of reflection on and refinement of how we express our identity in what we say and how we look. Our Mission Minded partners proved to be deep listeners, refining their understanding of our school through broad community surveys and with in-person and small group interviews and work sessions.

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The first phase of the project produced a series of honed messages and communications, emphasizing the intentionality behind our educational program, the importance of student voice and choice, and our goal to learn and live with purpose. Those messages then laid a framework for the content of updated print and digital admission materials and a complementary revision of our website. The second phase provided a visual language and system to animate the messsages and provide consistency not only in what we say, but also in how we look.

Through our partnership, we began to see the identity of our school come to life in ways that were inspirational and affirming, and that represented us with integrity and honesty. The team of staff shepherding the process on behalf of the school then saw a unique opportunity to more fully embrace this new visual expression of our strengths by revisiting the logo of the school. With its rounded square and quirky but traditional typeface, the logo embodied both simplicity and decades in the life of our school. Many options were considered, from a more subtle refresh of the existing elements to a wide variety of newer interpretations. What you see now is not only meant to be a reflection of all we are now, but who we strive to be, a place that sparks curiosity, invites interpretation, and is both grounded and expansive.

Visit our redesigned website, launched in October, at www.cfsnc.org

We look forward to the ways in which these new methods of communication will continue to strengthen our reputation and evoke a sense of this extraordinary community.

— Katherine Scott

Learning at Carolina Friends School is dynamic, experiential, and interactive.

Students encounter open-ended questions, undertake original projects of real relevance, explore the natural world, and immerse themselves in service learning. In doing so, they build powers of critical, creative, and independent thinking and expression.

We set high standards in all aspects of learning. Our educational approach is deeply rooted in evidence-based research, decades of experience, and educational best practices that bring out the best each in student.

I APPRECIATE THE ALL-AROUND EDUCATION THAT I RECEIVED: ACADEMICS, CREATIVITY, AND ROOM FOR SELF-DISCOVERY AS TO WHO I AM AS A PERSON.”

Left: an excerpt from our new admission viewbook for prospective families. Look for the digital version at www.cfsnc.org/ admission!

Our dedicated teachers challenge students to think beyond a right or wrong answer. We teach students to question ideas, question the world, and question themselves, so that they can learn how to think not just what to think.

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The Origin Of A Name A look into the history of We & Thee

We & Thee has existed as a publication in the Carolina Friends School community for over forty years. It was initially the title of a newsletter from the “Parent Council,” which soon became a publication more centrally held by the school. The role of We & Thee editor is even one of the many that Jim Henderson filled, from the late 1980s to mid 1990s. From its earliest mimeographed pages to these more colorful and digitally produced ones, one thing that has not changed is the name. But why such an oddly archaic use of pronouns?

One of the ways in which the early Quakers of the 17th century interpreted the tenet of simplicity was through “Plain Speech.”

One component of Plain Speech involved referring to months and days as “First Day, Second Day,” “First Month, Second Month,” etc. rather than the common English names, derived from pagan deities. The other two components of Plain Speech had to do with radical notions of equality. Thomas Hamm, a Quaker Historian at Earlham College, explains in a video for Friends Journal that this reinforced the “spiritual equality of all people” and rejected the notion that “some people, by birth or by rank, were better than others.”

This included not referring to people with honorific or other titles, but rather simply by name, and also using thee or thou for second person singular.

At the time, to use you in the singular indicated a social superior. The more familiar thee and thou would indicate a person of more common status. Rather than electing to use the more noble you in the singular, Quakers chose to refer to all with the humbler pronoun. The English upper class saw this as an upending of the social order, according to Hamm. As the language adapted to use you in the singular, so, too, did many Quakers, although there are some that still use it among other Friends.

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Writing in the New York Times on November 16, 2019, Teresa M. Bejan drew comparisons between the politics of pronouns for the early Quakers to more recent reckonings with how to be inclusive and affirming with our language: Modern practitioners of pronoun politics can learn a thing or two from the early Quakers. Like today’s egalitarians, the Quakers understood that what we say, as well as how we say it, can play a crucial part in creating a more just and equal society. They, too, were sensitive to the humble pronoun’s ability to reinforce hierarchies by encoding invidious distinctions into language itself.

Yet unlike the early Quakers, these modern egalitarians want to embrace, rather than resist, pronouns’ honorific aspect, and thus to see trans-, nonbinary and genderqueer people as equally entitled to the “title” of their choosing.

In choosing “we & thee,” the publication’s earliest founders were consciously connecting not just to the early roots of Quakerism and its lived idea of equality, but also to two of the defining notions of our Quaker roots: that within each person is the ability to divine truth, and that only by working for the good of the community can we truly find a way forward. Using those ideals, we as a school seek to affirm all aspects of our community members’ identities. Our philosophy is a source of inspiration to us all, to continually break down barriers and the rules of social order that support privilege.

— Katherine Scott

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Engage and Inspire Encouraging Youth Political Involvement

On a day in early November, two political candidates and their teams eagerly awaited election results — who was more successful in reaching their constituents? Which party managed to align with popular opinion? The Monday before Election Day, students and staff in our Upper School had cast their votes as part of an election simulation enacted by students in the Election 2020 social studies elective course this fall. The experience provided students with not only the means to learn about our election process, but also to catalyze their engagement with issues of real significance and the political process as a whole.

Led by Social Studies and History Teacher Melissa Zemon, who brought previous experience with classroom election simulations, students began coursework with research about and observations on the process, issues, and candidates of the national election. This included self-directed current events reports that helped students develop their views on key platform issues. Students also explored voter suppression and activism as they viewed and discussed the documentaries Capturing The Flag, which chronicles a 2016 grassroots campaign to fight voter suppression in Cumberland County, North Carolina and Slay the Dragon, which examines efforts to combat gerrymandered redistricting.

The students then had the opportunity to put their research to use. Using the results of a survey to gauge student views on a variety of issues, the students were divided into two political parties, the self-named Spicy Populists and People’s Progressives. “This process clarified for the students where the groups needed to find common ground to begin to formulate action steps for moving forward,” the teacher, Melissa, shared.

Once the parties were set, students chose what role they wanted to play: presidential candidate, campaign manager, pollsters, marketing and media, and fundraisers/canvassers.

While given basic guidelines, the students were allowed to discover for themselves how to most effectively build their campaigns and communicate their platforms to fellow students and staff.

In addition to creating platform websites and campaign videos, the teams also prepared their candidates for a moderated debate and a town hall forum held online and open to the entire Upper School community.

To demonstrate one real-world challenge, Melissa and colleagues in the mathematics department created a CFS Electoral College. Among staff, groups of certain subject areas received more weight than others, while electoral votes for students were assigned arbitrarily, rather than by metrics like population or seniority.

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The experiential learning had broader real-world implications for one student, Laura McDow, who was working on a state senate campaign during the course, “To be able to simultaneously use what I learned in both was really awesome.”

When the votes were tallied, the People’s Populist Party won in a landslide, communicating a platform to fight systemic racism and to support climate justice. In his acceptance speech video, president-elect Croft Winfield thanked his supporters, but also addressed those who voted for the other candidate, “I wish to make it clear that I want to bring everyone together after this.”

EARLY VOTERS Leading up to the 2020 election, Campus Early Schoolers learned how our democracy works and then held their own election.

On the ballot: whether to have snack outside that day, or inside. They proudly wore their “I voted” stickers afterwards.

“The students took pride in their work and engaged so deeply in the process,” Melissa noted. “It was inspiring to see young people with good ideas, working for change grounded in values of equity and justice. Many of the parents followed along with excitement as well! It gave me such a sense of hope.”

— Katherine Scott

Each Lower School cohort chose a nickname, but when Elizabeth Hunter Kesling’s group was unable to choose between being Otters or Wombats, they asked their fellow students to weigh in. Ballots and voting booths were created, votes were counted, and both the popular and electoral votes were calculated.

Otters won!

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It’s Never Too Late How the global pandemic provided an unexpected opportunity for a grandmother to take up piano lessons

Last June, Anne Jones, a Welsh immigrant and grandmother to two current Carolina Friends students, arrived in the United States after a period of time working as a nurse in Africa. She had plans to drive all across America, but those plans were cut short as COVID-19 began to spread across the globe.

Our interview with Anne explains how a confluence of circumstances led her to learning the piano for the first time, through our Extended Learning virtual music lessons.

Can you tell us how you came to be enrolled in our music lessons?

In the spring, I found myself marooned with my grandchildren and their parents. What was supposed to be a few weeks’ stay has morphed into a year. My grandson Tryfan had been taking piano lessons at Carolina Friends School for a couple of years. He needed encouragement to stick with it, as most kids do. Then when school closed and everything was on a screen, I think it all got too much for him. He really missed the one-on-one. His parents, Wenny and Kevin, first suggested I pick up the lessons for the rest of the semester. To which I replied, “Me..... play the piano?!” The last time I had any contact with an instrument, I was eleven years old. Still, I had no excuse for not trying, and to be able to bring music into my life was something I had always wanted to do. So I started in September.

What have you enjoyed the most? Has anything really surprised you?

Realizing that it is really not beyond my abilities to learn, contrary to my beliefs all these years that it was just too late. I am slow for sure, and I am sure I could practice more.

I am so blessed that my teacher Raj has a good sense of humor and lots of patience. We do laugh a lot, which is a tremendous help and decreases my self-imposed stress for not being a prodigy!

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What would your advice be to other adults interested in learning or returning to an instrument?

Drop the inhibitions, be vulnerable and humble. Realize that you will probably never make any money from it, but that it will give you an appreciation of life’s holding more surprises every day.

I have a friend whom I worked with in Africa, and I was so in awe of her for learning to play Cajun violin in her late 40s. She plays for herself, for relaxation, and can sit in and share tunes with other musicians, coming away with a multitude of new friends. She is the first to tell you she is no virtuoso, but that’s not important. She sounded like one when I first heard her play on a verandah in Zanzibar overlooking the Indian Ocean. The fun she has with it, and the satisfaction she gets from knowing she just did it, has made such a difference to her life.

When I was Tryfan’s age, I remember my uncle playing the accordion on a Sunday afternoon when the family got together. It was so much fun. So that is my next stop!

Learn more about music lessons for children and adults at www.cfsnc.org/musiclessons!

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Updates Board Committee This summer, the Board of Trustees approved a new effort to envision how the Board could support our school’s deepening commitment to equity work. Three trustees have spearheaded this work as members of the newly created Equity and Justice Committee.

Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Office Part of our strategic vision unveiled last year, The Dream That Drives Us, outlined the expansion of the Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Office. As phase one of this expansion, parttime roles will be created for an Upper School Diversity Coordinator and a Middle School Diversity Coordinator.

Phase two will include a Lower School Diversity Coordinator and Early School Coordinator. We are planning to begin hiring for these positions in the 20212022 school year.

Professional Development While the launch of this school year was hardly typical, we still began as we do each August with professional development training specific to diversity, equity, and inclusion. This

year we have focused on examining our existing anti-bias curriculum, investigating pedagogical questions raised while implementing them, and defining curricular commitments to anti-racist work. We also continued our commitment to this work by sending staff and trustees to the National Association of Independent Schools People of Color Conference (virtually, this year) and five Upper School students participated in the accompanying Student Diversity Leadership Conference.

Curriculum CommunityWide Initiatives Abolitionist work starts with our youngest students, and Durham Early School Head Teacher Carmen Raynor worked with staff and families to develop antiracist commitments for their learning community.

Lower School’s theme for the year is “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” and teachers have been connecting their curriculum to the history of the poem and song.

The Lower School has also implemented portions of the Pollyanna Racial Literacy Curriculum, a K-grade 8 program created in 2019 geared toward independent schools.

As part of a multi-year examination, the Middle School has revised its foundational second year social studies course. Now known as “Anthropodyssey,” the curriculum continues to explore cultures and belief systems across history and geography, with specific attention to our local indigenous communities and a decolonizing framework.

The entire Upper School is engaged in a year-long program studying and discussing This Book is Anti-Racist. Going forward, this program will be incorporated into the Upper School’s ninth grade “CFS Life” curriculum, which examines all dimensions of student health and life skills.

The Upper School Liaisons have also helped facilitate evening virtual events on anti-racist parenting and affecting change in our specific spheres of influence.

— Naa Norley Adom

LEARN MORE Read about The Dream That Drives Us and the three pillars of our strategic vision at www.cfsnc.org/dream.

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MAKING OUR WAY TO THE PEACE BENCH A STORY OF CONFLICT RESOLUTION IN DIVISIVE TIMES BY MARGY CAMPION

I was in the middle of a Zoom meeting of the CFS Business Committee when our doorbell rang. It was a Wednesday, October 28, 2020, six days before election day, and at the door was my 10-year old friend, Vivian. Viv and her mom rent our little house. “There’s a man in your driveway with a gun,” she told me.

“I’ve come to get a grown-up.” Together we walked through the woods to our adjacent property. Standing at the bottom of the drive was our across-the-street neighbor. His face was still and stern, his gaze set on the car at the top of the driveway. In that car, a white Volkswagen Jetta, his hands clenched to the wheel, sat a young man with close-cropped, bleached-blond hair and a face drained of color. I stood at the driver’s window and asked his name. He turned to look at me, his eyes huge, and said, “Jacob.”

I asked him what had happened. With shaking voice and tears brimming, he told me that he had taken a Trump sign from the right-of-way; that the man had shouldered and pointed the gun at him; that he had dropped the sign on the road, apologized, and tried to drive away; that the man then stood in front of his car and would not let him pass. “I pulled up your driveway to get away from him.” Knowing that my husband was on the phone with emergency services, I told Jacob that the police would come and it would be alright. His tears dripped and – aware of breaking COVID-19 protocol – I reached through the window to touch the back of his head, assured him that our politics aligned, that he shouldn’t have taken the sign, but that having the police come was a good thing. “Those signs make me feel unsafe,” he whispered. I touched his shoulder, looked back at Viv where she sat, safely up on the porch, and said: “I’m going to go talk with him. It’ll be ok.”

These neighbors live in a house surrounded by trees, set back from the road. I see them rarely. From our scant encounters, years before our country’s more recent inability to 14

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communicate across factions, it was clear that our outlooks differed. We first met 25 or 30 years ago when his Cub Scout sons appeared at our door with … perhaps it was wrapping paper … to raise money for their troop. Since then we’ve had one encounter, this past August, when he came to the door alone, his boys long since grown. He asked us to take down a tree on our property. I smiled at the little boys and bought the wrapping paper those many years ago, but in neither case was I gracious.

The gun was long and flat-grey. He held it in his right hand, along the length of his leg, pointed down at the road, its barrel ending just above his ankle. My eyes followed the length of the gun and it was then that I saw a torn TRUMP 2020 campaign sign at his right foot. “He shouldn’t have taken your sign.” And for the first time his eyes focused on me. “I’m sorry,” I said. “Please remind me of your name? I’m Margaret Campion.” “I’m Daniel Cook,” he said, his eyes sliding back up the driveway. Lifting his chin to point, he declared, “He’s trying to silence me.”

Gesturing towards the sign, “If he would take this, who knows what else he would do.”

“He should not have taken it. . . . you’re right, Daniel. But you must know that that,” my eyes dropped to his gun, “is only escalating this.” His eyes unfocused and he repeated, “He’s trying to silence me! I don’t know what he’ll do!” “Look,” I said, “we may not be able to easily give one another the benefit of the doubt, but we just cannot expect the worst.

We just can’t.”

At the urging of his wife, and with my assurances that I would not let the young man leave, he agreed to put the gun away. He crossed the road and was soon out of sight among the trees and the deepening dusk.

I turned back towards Jacob’s car and had just reached the top of the driveway when a shot echoed through the neighborhood, shattering the tense silence we’d gained.

I patted the air down with both hands

and looking back and forth between Vivian and Jacob, said, “I’m sure that was an accident. That had to have been an accident.”

trustees about this work. There is little that stirs my mind and heart more than learning about the impact this has on our children at CFS. This vital initiative has grown slowly and organically, present now at five other schools in the southeast, to countless educators who have participated in Peaceful Schools conferences, and to teachers training at university programs in the US and China.

It is work that is absolutely necessary for the hard labor of peace-making that our country and world so desperately need. One of the first pieces of conflict resolution that our youngest students learn is that they can take their arguments to the Peace Bench. They can do this on their own or they can ask a teacher to help them.

Though never a student at Carolina Friends School, I’ve been educated and changed by my experience as a parent, and by my work on the Board.

Minutes later the police arrived, five cruisers with sirens screaming and lights flashing.

The officer in charge spoke with Jacob first, then with Mr. Cook. When the officer came back up the driveway I heard snatches of words: “I’m not going to pursue this ... apologize … the political situation right now ...” and soon thereafter everyone dispersed and the dark settled.

I did see Daniel Cook again. One of those scary Quaker impulses drove me up his driveway the following day, the kind of insistent impulse that makes your heart beat fast during silent meeting, demanding you stand to speak even though you have no idea what you are meant to say. I find that scary. But turning my back on it makes me feel worse. So I drove up his dim drive. Our conversation that day was wary but hopeful.

Daniel apologized, we talked, and I left his porch feeling that the neighborhood was safer for his opportunity to express remorse.

At CFS we believe in seeking peace with oneself and others. As the School’s philosophy states, this implies: commitment to achieve a level of self-awareness necessary to interact genuinely with others; effort to foster relationships founded on trust; commitment to a life of nonviolence; belief that peace is not the absence of conflict but the peaceful resolution of conflict; accept[ance] that the resolution of personal and interpersonal conflict is a lifelong task.

Though never a student at CFS, I’ve been educated and changed by my experience as a parent, and by my work on the Board of Carolina Friends School. One of the strongest influences has been the Peaceful Schools initiative (https://www.peacefulschoolsnc. org), the work of Renee Prillaman, Ida Trisolini, Christel Butchart, Rachel Anderson and many others. Christel and Rachel came to our November Board meeting, to tell the

I have asked Christel to help me as I approach Daniel Cook to ask if he will engage in conversation with me. I have written the piece you are reading to keep myself accountable. Though I would like to decline this “opportunity,” I believe we are meant to have these conversations across the gaps, now become yawning crevasses.

I have no idea what I will say when I “stand up to speak;” I am attracted and repulsed, and quite sure I will feel worse if I do not heed this call. I feel a responsibility to this community which has taught me so much.

And I know that I want a better country for my grandchildren.

If the youngest of us are brave enough to make their way to the Peace Bench, why should I not try? Stand by.

Margy Campion is an alum parent and long-serving member of the Board of Trustees. She currently co-clerks the Governance Committee. Previously, Margy was an early childhood educator (ages three and four), and eagerly awaits opportunities to again be involved in Carolina Friends School’s classrooms.

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Ask the Expert A Lower School program makes the most out of virtual connections For younger students, speaking with professionals in a wide variety of fields helps shine light on the role of individuals in a community while providing inspiration for career paths that the children themselves might pursue.

Without the opportunity for field trips and with restrictions to on-campus visitors, Lower School River Class Teacher Ruth Gaskin spearheaded a program for this year that would allow this kind of opportunity. As part of “Ask the Expert,” a variety of professionals have been invited into the classroom virtually.

In addition to seeking volunteers from a variety of fields, Ruth has specifically looked for women who work in non-traditional fields.

So far, the students have spoken with a firefighter, an architect, a train engineer, a helicopter pilot, a sign language expert, a safety engineer, a rabbi, and a paleontologist.

Additional guests are being scheduled for this winter and spring.

Dr. Lindsay Zanno spoke with students about her work as a paleontologist as part of the “Ask An Expert” series. Photo

by Chris Rupert, courtesy of Technician.

HOT OFF THE PRESS Brad Kershner, Head Teacher of our Chapel Hill Early School, recently wrote an examination of the cultures and organizational structures of educational institutions. Understanding Education Complexity: Integrating Practices and Perspectives for 21st Century Leadership, published

by Brill, is available on Amazon.

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SOCIAL CONNECTIONS Check out some of our most popular photos from social media this fall! Be sure to follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Youtube: @CarolinaFriends.

Aug. 6

Sep. 3

Oct. 9

Oct. 1 Welcoming Lower School students back on campus again!

Oct. 21

Dec. 11

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ATHLETICS UPDATE During the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic, we have worked hard to both protect individual and community health and safety and to provide our students as many of the benefits of athletics participation as possible.

Our coaches have provided virtual and individual workouts and skill sessions for Upper and Middle School student athletes, as well as opportunities for social engagement and community-building. Our Upper School teams began socially distanced, masked workouts in September.

We’re so grateful to our incredible coaching staff for their work in challenging and supporting our students.

Athletes have received individual equipment to support their skills work at home.

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Workouts and team gatherings have been held outdoors as much as possible, and participants have worn masks and stayed socially distant.

gratitude: A student perspective A reflection by McCallum Keats ‘22 Since last March, the experience of students and staff at Carolina Friends School has been quite unprecedented. The coronavirus pandemic has made much quick adaptation and change necessary. In a year of virtual learning, staff have risen to the occasion to make the transition as smooth, safe, effective, and manageable for students as possible. As an Upper School student at Carolina Friends during this time, I am very grateful for the Upper School staff and the support they have given students during virtual learning and the way they have shown courage through all of this uncertainty. Their dedication to teaching us every day through a computer screen, their open-mindedness and willingness to both hear students’ concerns and to change, and their kindness and understanding have made virtual learning far more manageable than it would be otherwise. I know that many Upper Schoolers share my gratitude towards staff and feel that they have shown a lot of courage in recent months, and a few have shared their feelings with me.

Reflecting on courage, junior Samantha Wilson calls to mind a time before the pandemic when a staff member helped her to be courageous. “A moment when a staff member helped me to be courageous is when my swim coach, Ruffin, got me to swim the 500. I didn’t think I could do it, but she always believed in me, which gave me the courage to try. In the end, it turned out great,” says Samantha.

When asked how his definition of courage had shifted during the pandemic, junior Aidan Shimpi explained that he has realized that courage can come in different forms.

“I think at first my standards were higher in terms of what it means to lift someone up, but now that we are in a global pandemic, we aren’t as socially connected anymore.

My standards have gone down, but I feel like that has made me a better person, because I’m now able to see the little bits of encouragement from others,” says Aidan.

Aidan also wanted to express his gratitude for the school’s cleaning crew. “I’d like to thank the janitors of CFS because of their hard work cleaning up the school; I never had the courage myself to say thanks for what they did whenever I stayed late at school,” he says. Other students also wanted to thank particular members of the staff, including senior Zoe Brader-Araje, who says, “Abby Presson’s unconditional support has been so valuable to me during the pandemic.

Whether it’s helping me with logistics, giving me a boost, or just having someone to confide in, I am beyond grateful. Thanks Abby!”

Finally, I personally would like to express gratitude for my advisor Dave Worden, who has helped me through this unprecedented time in so many ways. I would like to thank him for always being there for me, cheering me on, supporting me when things don’t go well, and for just always being willing to talk to me when I need it.

McCallum Keats is a current junior in the Upper School.

She plans to be a teacher herself one day. She enjoys writing in various forms, and COVID-19 has given her time to write 98 pages of a novel and several original songs. She also enjoys running, and is a member of the Carolina Friends cross country and track teams.

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WELCOMING NEW staff Adrienne Flippin, Lower School River Class Teacher Adrienne was born in Greensboro, NC, and raised in the New Garden Friends Meeting community.

She earned her undergraduate degree in Literature from UNCAsheville and her Masters of Arts in Elementary Education from UNC-Greensboro.

Cassie Rooney, Middle School Language Arts Teacher Cassie has her BS in Adolescent Education and English from SUNY Oneonta and an MA in English with a writing concentration from The College of Saint Rose.

Cassie has taught high school and middle school English in New York and North Carolina.

Cheryl Moy, Upper School Chemistry Teacher Cheryl has seven years of experience teaching chemistry, including five years at the UNC Chapel Hill. Cheryl received her Ph.D in Chemistry from the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, and her BA from Willamette University.

Chip Hale, Director of Technology Chip comes to us from Carmel, California, where he worked at a small Epsicopal day school.

Originally from northern Virginia and both a camper and counsellor at Baltimore Yearly Meeting summer camps, he holds a BA in Art History and an MA in Instructional Technology.

Danielle Riley, Middle School Language Arts Teacher Danielle began teaching language arts in 1993. She has

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a bachelor’s degree from The College of William and Mary and a master’s degree in Folklore at UNC in Chapel Hill.

Elizabeth Hunter Kesling, Lower School Fountain Class Teacher Elizabeth previously taught for 14 years in both Indiana and North Carolina. She holds a master’s degree in early childhood special education and a bachelor’s degree in philosophy.

Jack Thegen-Crowley, Upper School Ceramics Teacher A Carolina Friends alum and Durham native, Jack is an educator, parent, and working artist currently pursuing his degree in Art Education. After studying at the School of the Art Institute of Chicago, Jack has worked variously as an educator, community organizer, and disability advocate.

Jackson Carboni, Development Associate Jackson is a 2015 graduate of Carolina Friends School. He went on to complete a BA in music with a concentration in arts and technology. Jackson enjoys making music, listening to podcasts, and doing puzzles.

Jacob Prosnit, Upper School Learning Specialist Jacob graduated with his BA in History at Trinity College, a Master in Special Education at Hunter College, and a Master in Educational Administration and Leadership from Fordham College. He spent the last eight years in the New York City public school system as a Learning Specialist and Dean of Students.

Jeffrey Jude, School Nurse Jeff graduated with his degree in nursing from Southern WV College in 2001. Since graduation, he has worked in many areas of nursing including trauma, emergency nursing, nursing education and school nursing.

Joel Wuliger, Middle School Guest Teacher Joel is no stranger to Carolina Friends, having served previously as a guest teacher and frequent substitute. Joel holds a BA in Philosophy and Religion, a Master of Education degree. Joel has taught at the middle and high school levels in Ohio and North Carolina.

Julia Collins, Lower School Fountain Class Teacher Julia has been working with children since 2012. She graduated from the University of South Florida with a bachelor’s degree in elementary education and a master’s degree in critical studies in educational foundations from Ohio University.

Linda Phillips, Durham Early School Extended Day Teacher Linda has a BS in Business Education. Linda has worked as an early education substitute teacher in Durham Public Schools.

Paige Prather, Upper School Language Arts Teacher Paige earned a BA in Cultural Anthropology in 2007, an MA in Southern Studies in 2014, and an MAT in 2017. Paige is passionate about anti-racist abolitionist theory and action, and striving for a more restorative and loving world.

While several part-time and temporary positions have been created this year to support our on-campus health protocols and our students learning completely virtually, we also welcomed our first school nurse, a permanent role moving forward. Here, Jeff Jude gives students a tour of our new health office.

WELCOMING NEW TRUSTEES David R. Haines David grew up Quaker in southwestern Ohio, graduated from Earlham College, and then earned his Ph.D. in Organic Chemistry at the University of Illinois. He taught chemistry for 36 years at Wellesley College before retiring to Hillsborough, NC, in 2017. He served as Clerk of the Friends Meeting in Wellesley, Massachusetts, and served on the Clerking team at Durham Friends Meeting. He and Nancy, his wife, served as the Clerks of the 2012 Friends General Conference (FGC) Gathering, and for most years since that time have led the annual Leadership and Clerking workshop for the Adult Young Friends and High School Clerking teams for Friends General Conference.

Jeffrey Petrou Jeffrey is a parent of a current Upper Schooler. He founded and runs a consultancy that specializes in technology and business solutions for investment management companies.

Joe Tsai Joseph (Joe) Tsai and his wife Emily are parents of a current Middle Schooler and live in Chapel Hill. Joe is a manager at Red Hat, Inc., an opensource software company based in Raleigh, North Carolina. He earned degrees in Entrepreneurial Management and Computer Science and Engineering from The Wharton School and The School of Engineering and Applied Science at the University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia.

Kamela Heyward-Rotimi Kamela and Kole HeywardRotimi are the parents of recent graduate Karina and a current Upper School student. Kamela was the first convenor for the Parents of Students of Color (PSOC) affinity group at Carolina Friends and still serves on the PSOC leadership committee.

A cultural anthropologist and public-scholar activist who studies digital space(s), race, and society, Kamela is the Founder and Executive Director of the international organization Knowledge Exchange Research Group, (KERG), and she holds affiliations with Duke University and Obafemi Awolowo University in Nigeria.

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2019-2020 ANNUAL REPORT: 2019-2020 2019-2020 Expenses $10,727,574

WHO DONATES TO CFS? • Alumni • Current and Former Staff and Trustees • Grandparents and Parents/Guardians of Current Students and Alumni • Other Relatives and Friends of Community Members • Friends of the School and External Organizations

Salaries & Benefits Instructional & Operating Expenses Facilities & Maintenance Debt Service

2019-2020 REVENUE $10,772,874

IN 2019-20, 645 PEOPLE AND ORGANIZATIONS DONATED $806, 890 TO CAROLINA FRIENDS SCHOOL. GIVING DAY: CFS TOGETHER

Tuition & Fees Auxiliary Programs Giving for Current Operations Endowment 22

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Two-thirds of our donors in 2019-2020 gave on Giving Day, March 5. Because of this, we exceeded our goal for unrestricted gifts for the year. Many schools were not as fortunate as we. To everyone who contributed, pushing us beyond our projected goal and helping us to respond quickly to critical and unforeseeable needs related to COVID-19, we thank you!

By the numbers: donor profiles

92 Donors of 10+ consecutive years

132

204 Parents of alumni

112

Parents of current students

Staff members

103

104

Alumni

Grandparents

90 Former staff and board members

59 Friends and extended family

34 Organizations

359 Increased gift over previous year

TYPES OF GIFT IN A NUTSHELL Annual Fund gifts support us in meeting our most immediate educational and organizational needs, from classroom supplies and athletic equipment to staff development and campus maintenance.

Capital gifts such as stock or other highly appreciated assets have helped build new indoor and outdoor learning spaces for our students and have supported many different programs and needs across our School.

Endowment gifts are invested and the income that is earned from those investments is passed on to the School each year to be used for whatever projects or purposes the donors have selected. As of June 30, we have almost $15 million in endowments, supporting such things as: tuition assistance; teacher and staff salary support; special learning opportunities in dance, math and science; athletics; year-end experiences; and many more things important to our students.

Bequests are gifts made to Carolina Friends School through wills. They can be given for any school-related purpose or program and are often used to create endowments that provide permanent support for something important to the School and the donor.

Visionary Friends are individuals who have chosen to support the future of our School by making Carolina Friends a beneficiary in their will or by establishing an endowment. There are currently 108 Visionary Friends.

All of these ways of supporting Carolina Friends School enable us to provide an exciting and nurturing learning environment for the precious students in our care.

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Alumni News NEWS & UPDATES Yvette Bonaparte ’79 wrote an article for Advertising and Society titled “Meeting the Moment: Black Lives Matter, Racial Inequality, Corporate Messaging, and Rebranding” this October.

Bonnie Morris ’79 wrote a tribute to singer, songwriter, author, and actress Helen Reddy for Ms. Magazine in October.

Richard (fka Nguyen) Banh ’80 is currently located in Austin, TX. You can view his visual art http://richardbanh.com/.

Miji Bell ’88 has been named senior director of communications and media relations at the Johns Hopkins School of Advanced International Studies, where she is responsible for leading communications strategy for the school’s campuses in Washington DC, Bologna Italy, and Nanjing China.

Duke Ethnomusicology graduate student Jonathan Henderson ’01 and his band, Diali Cissokho & Kaira Ba, performed at this year’s virtual edition of the North Carolina Folk Festival on September 13.

Kate Hudson ’03 and Mavis Pearl Paige PerryHudson.

Kaitlin Friedman ’03 has taught in the lower elementary grades at The Philadelphia School for the past 7 years, and is delighted to welcome Lauren Kibbe ’05 as a new colleague.

Kate Hudson ’03 gave birth to Mavis Pearl Paige Perry-Hudson on May 7 in Chapel Hill, NC. Welcome Mavis Pearl!

Jake Kornegay ’03 and his wife Megan welcomed their first child, Charles David (aka Charlie) on October 12. Congratulations to the happy parents (and let’s not forget grandma and former Early School teacher Debbie Kornegay).

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Miji Bell ’88.

Alumni News Paige Berry Montgomery ’04 and Monty Montgomery announced the birth of Lewis David Montgomery on October 5.

Aubrey Griffith-Zill ’05 and her partner Bruce launched Durham Salt Cave in the summer of 2020 with the belief that selfcare is the essence of wellness: https:// durhamsaltcave.com.

Spencer Woodman ’05 wrote an investigative report on how HSBC, Europe’s biggest bank, aided massive Ponzi scheme while on probation over ties to drug kingpins for International Consortium of Investigative Journalists this September.

Aubrey Griffith-Zill ’05 in the Durham Salt Cave.

Sarah Booker ’07 had her translation of Grieving: Dispatches from a Wounded Country, by Cristina Rivera Garza, published with Feminist Press in October, 2020.

Ryan-Walker Page ’09 designed the choreography for Bebe Rexha “Baby, I’m Jealous” (ft. Doja Cat) which was performed live for the 2020 American Music Awards.

Brooke Shepherd and Grant Lawrence Gilmore are the dancers.

Samantha Strom ’09 launched a new part of her coaching business, Quarterlife Crisis. She is helping young professionals navigate their careers through technical resume writing, job search help, and one-on-one coaching. https://quartercrisis.com/

Samantha Strom ’09.

Ellie Dalsheimer Schnautz ’10 and her husband Brian welcomed their first child Sophia Claire on October 13. Congrats to the Dugan Dalsheimer Schnautz families, including former staff member and new granddad Kenny Dalsheimer!

Best wishes to Rhiannon Faith Sanders ’13 and Brendan Sanders who celebrated their marriage on October 10 in Atlanta.

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Alumni News Isabella Brezenski ’14 is back in Durham after attending Leiden University in the Netherlands and interning in theatre education at Portland Stage in Maine last year.

Julia Rosoff ’16 has joined the Montessori School of Durham community for the 20202021 school year as an assistant teacher in the Toddler class.

Lily Posner-Hess ’20 performed “Sim Shalom,” a song of love, peace, and justice, during a special Zoom memorial in honor of Ruth Bader Ginsburg (sponsored by the Union of Reform Judaism).

IN MEMORY Martha Peery Gwyn died on September 5 after a short battle with COVID-19. Martha is the mother of eight alums: Christopher Gwyn ’76, Sara Gwyn ’86, Rachel Gwyn ’79, Gregory Gwyn ’81, Rebecca Gwyn McQuoid ’82, Brian Gwyn ’92, Hannah Gwyn ’83, and Nicholas Gwyn ’94 (who passed in 2013). A life-long Member of the Society of Friends, Martha was an integral part of the Chapel Hill Friends Meeting, and served on the board of Carolina Friends School.

Mark Frautschi ’74 died peacefully on the morning of October 13, 2020 at the age of 63 following a six-year illness. He spent his final days surrounded by his family and many friends. He was an internationally recognized expert on the Y2K threat and was a fierce advocate for greater diversity in STEM fields.

Lynn Ikenberry, father and father-in-law of staff members David and Leon, died on November 27. Lynn maintained a deep and long-standing connection to CFS. He was a parent to four alums, David ’76, Rebecca ’77, Kara ’86, and Maria ’91, and a grandparent of two CFS alums, Coleman ’13 and Logan ’15.

Greg Huff, beloved husband of former US Head Teacher Carrie Huff and father of CFS alum Sam ’05 died on November 30. Greg 26

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suffered from Parkinson’s disease for the last several years and Carrie has been devoted to Greg’s care. Greg was an ardent supporter of CFS dance and theater performances as well as athletic events. The family welcomes messages at 14915 N 1025th St., Effingham, IL 62401.

OTHER Current staff member Henry Walker has added new content to his site, “Friends School, an Unofficial History.” View the newest videos with Alena Graedon ’98, Liam Hysjulien ’01, and Suzanne Richardson ’01 and with Lisa Long Jackson ’80, Michael (Misi) Polgar ’80, Rebecca Laszlo ’80, and Gretchen Klopfer Wing ’79.

Kudos to former dance and drama teacher Linda Belans on the publication of her new book States of Being. Linda shared that the book is about the work she’s been doing for over 20 years, work that has its roots in what she learned at Carolina Friends School about teaching, leading, learning, and creating a culture that speaks to the higher self.

ALUMNI, SHARE YOUR UPDATES! Births, marriages, professional news, whatever you’d like to share. You may submit your announcement or update your contact information online:

cfsnc.org/alumnotes

Alumni News

INSTANT REPLAY Miss any of our fall and early winter programs? Many are available to view as recordings!

1 Upper School Theater Fall Production Spoon River Anthology Available on Youtube: youtube.com/cfsnc

2 Upper School Winter Dance Concert Distance and Perspective Available online: cfsnc.org/dance2020 Passkey: dance

3 Music With Friends: 2020 Holiday Greeting Featuring Jennifer Curtis ’96 and Diali Cissokho Available on Youtube: youtube.com/cfsnc

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NONPROFIT ORG U.S. Postage

PAID

Durham, NC Permit No. 783

4809 Friends School Road Durham, Nc 27705 919.383.6602 | www.cfsnc.org ADDRESS SERVICE REQUESTED

SAVE THE DATE: 3.4.21 Stay tuned to cfsnc.org/givingday for information on matching gifts and how you can support learning and living with purpose on Giving Day, March 4!

GIVING DAY 2021