babyteeth winter '23 issue 4

babyteeth w23 issue 4

Cat Haikus by Ben Ellis Cat with pinkish eyes Likely doesn’t have disease— We shall wait and see.

Love the cat, say I No one wants him more than you In your private life.

Lovely, lovely Toff Shields his eyes so you can’t see Where his gaze might fall.

Look back at the cat.

Meet his eyes, then look away Throw him once a wink.

Toff will watch you love Never taking part in it Always looking on.

Shiny, crispy cat.

Partners best are made of brass Such as this one here.

Write the cat a card Tell him all your loving thoughts Put it in his mouth.

Share with Toff a treat Rub your organs on his face Taste him once yourself.

I should see a shrink.

This is not a healthy way To air out my thoughts.

SHAC has some, I think— Maybe they prefer the term “School psychologist”?

I don’t think they care Prob’ly don’t read Babyteeth Thus won’t hear my words.

Back to you again.

What incites your love For this bronzen cat?

Maybe it’s his smile Chilling, brooding, stoic’lly Masking his intent.

Nonetheless this cat Being in my dreams all year Permeates my mind.

Difficult I find Studying with Toff around Oft distracting me.

Toff, you sexy beast Take me to the dance Rearrange these feelings mine Why won’t you acknowledge me?

Why not hear my calls?

Spin me ‘round the floor Love’s a funny thing.

Toff, though, has it figured out He knows all the tricks.

Toff might not be tall I don’t know his penis size But those ears are firm.

Finally, dear Toff, Please don’t make me beg unheard.

Leap off of your perch.

Gimme Gimme!

By Stewie Goon I’m a beggar--slosh hits ears, my tongue gets wetter.

Open top, metal rim, I want whatever’s in ‘er.

I’m obsessive--I’d kill you, and I’d kill your mother, for a solitary sip from that cylindral udder.

Man down--I’m up, I hold my blodied prize.

It’s a half full flask of ichor, for this thirstiest guy.

I’m going--I’m gone, God gave this glacial high.

Think through taking tastes round my throat when it’s dry.

Birthday boy - Stewie Goon Snail - Nelson Serrano

katierose kimball

A FRUIT FLY IN MY ROOM

by Lily Akre I watched u die on my phone screen Ur tiny legs struggled to accept the fate of my thumb On ur little life, lit up by the bright I took ur wings And buried u beneath my bed It didn’t feel quite right To kill u like that.

stars. we are far from the city the horizon a light blue “flowing into the abyss” i say, but the source is the abyss and the light is leaving it hands. we are far from each other though appearance suggests otherwise is it natural to dilute this much of ourselves? the notion of waking tomorrow a street lamp tiny, insignificant, but diluting all the same a gash is cut into the forest for convenience our convenience so why not gore even deeper lacerate the earth with our feet — not in sync; our hands locked together in declaration of something pure? significant?

heartsbeating

by Isaac Endo

how many stars can i not see? i wonder as i look into the void we are not so far from the city our hands never slip from each other’s our declaration must be screaming amidst all this noise there is a red blinking light so far, we ignore it this world is so beautiful pure? significant? i know you see me as what you think i am but your body is so warm the blue light has drained we are stars when i can’t feel your heart beating i am scared; are we still alive? hands clasped so tightly we must be making pearls thump-thump thump-th-thump i feel all that we are. hands

thu-thump thum-thump

thum-thump thump thump

When I looked up she was smiling there down at me. Her hair was cut just below her ears and it glowed in the hazy light. It was hot and I was sweating, and as I looked up at her I loved her. The sun was pressing hard onto my face and still I loved her. Even as the cancers bubbled up under my skin I loved her.

“Come out and see, won’t you?” She asked.

I hummed, dazed.

“Sure.”

When I reached the boulder she’d perched on I saw it. The whole of the park and its craggy piles of rock. We were so high the people below looked like ants, but their chattering reverberated through the canyon.

“Isn’t it beautiful?”

I gripped the edge of my shirt. The sun bleached the rockface.

“Sure.”

The girl turned to me, frowning, Her skin was slick with sweat and reflected the light.

“Why do you have to be so damn sorry all the time? I mean really, Lucy. Each time we speak you’re just depressed.”

I opened my mouth and closed it again. Her voice was soft, and she took my hand.

“Oh cheer up, won’t you? I’ll be gone next year, we both will, and you’ll have to get on without me. And I just want to know that you can.”

My stomach turned over and I felt sick. I went to touch her arm but she was looking away and moved before I could press my fingers into her shirt sleeve. It was a strange feeling.

Like someone had forgotten to dope me up before they split me open in an operating theater, and the doctors were peering into my guts, noting my deformities in clinical detachment. I cracked a smile.

“I’ll be fine, you know. You shouldn’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You should just enjoy yourself and be done with me for all I care. I’m fine.”

“You’re not suicidal, are you?”

“Of course I’m not. Don’t be silly.”

“Well you shouldn’t say it like that. It’s good to check.”

She released my hand.

“Well do you think I want to kill myself?” My stomach felt weirder, and she looked into the horizon. The sun was setting. When it set the park would grow dark, and we might split our skulls open as we scrambled down from the rocks.

“I can’t tell sometimes.”

The sun was still hot. I wanted to ask for my water but my mouth felt too dry to confess something like that. We began to clamber down. By the time I apologized I didn’t know what I was sorry for. Only that she’d looked sad as we left and didn’t speak as we drove back.

“Sorry.”

“I know, Lucy.”

olivia ho with help from lily and sofia

katierose kimball

alexcu1280@gmail.com Dear Alex

Dear Alex, I’m know I haven’t replied to you in almost four months but I swear, it’s only because I’ve been waiting for the right moment and it never comes. You’re wanting the birds to sing for me instead of for themselves. Because you’re from Maine maybe you know this feeling already: I’ve been washing my feet into the ocean but always returning wet up to my knees; it’s a stupid paradox and a silly accident I keep repeating (beware, dog does bite; dog being blue and foamymouthed this time). I wonder if I couldn’t swim, I’d keep walking and let the water swallow me whole, and sometimes, I think I’d become it: loud and bitter and cold.

Here’s a list of things to do instead of becoming infinite: - shower with your clothes on - hold an ice cube - study birds - write a poem Maybe it’s all one loud scream, a thousand miles away, compressed into a page.

Or maybe I’ll never speak to you again so I’ll send you a message in a bottle and wait for the Pacific currents to go the other direction. You signed your letters love but, My apologies, Noel

e t h a n k i n s e l l a , dispatches from Londontown

London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady Build it up with iron bars Iron bars, iron bars Build it up with iron bars My fair lady Iron bars will bend and break Bend and break, bend and break Iron bars will bend and break My fair lady Build it up with gold and silver Gold and silver, gold and silver Build it up with gold and silver My fair lady Gold and silver we’ve not got We’ve not got, we’ve not got Gold and silver we’ve not got My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady Build it up with iron bars Iron bars, iron bars Build it up with iron bars My fair lady Iron bars will bend and break Bend and break, bend and break Iron bars will bend and break My fair lady Build it up with gold and silver Gold and silver, gold and silver Build it up with gold and silver My fair lady Gold and silver we’ve not got We’ve not got, we’ve not got Gold and silver we’ve not got My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady Build it up with iron bars Iron bars, iron bars Build it up with iron bars My fair lady Iron bars will bend and break Bend and break, bend and break Iron bars will bend and break My fair lady Build it up with gold and silver Gold and silver, gold and silver Build it up with gold and silver My fair lady Gold and silver we’ve not got We’ve not got, we’ve not got Gold and silver we’ve not got My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady Build it up with iron bars Iron bars, iron bars Build it up with iron bars My fair lady Iron bars will bend and break Bend and break, bend and break Iron bars will bend and break My fair lady Build it up with gold and silver Gold and silver, gold and silver Build it up with gold and silver My fair lady Gold and silver we’ve not got We’ve not got, we’ve not got Gold and silver we’ve not got My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady Build it up with iron bars Iron bars, iron bars Build it up with iron bars My fair lady Iron bars will bend and break Bend and break, bend and break Iron bars will bend and break My fair lady Build it up with gold and silver Gold and silver, gold and silver Build it up with gold and silver My fair lady Gold and silver we’ve not got We’ve not got, we’ve not got Gold and silver we’ve not got My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady Build it up with iron bars Iron bars, iron bars Build it up with iron bars My fair lady Iron bars will bend and break Bend and break, bend and break Iron bars will bend and break My fair lady Build it up with gold and silver Gold and silver, gold and silver Build it up with gold and silver My fair lady Gold and silver we’ve not got We’ve not got, we’ve not got Gold and silver we’ve not got My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady London Bridge is falling down Falling down, falling down London Bridge is falling down My fair lady Build it up with iron bars Iron bars, iron bars Build it up

sleep talking, saying CRASH & BOOM & FUCK! I shake like a dog.

I string myself along. I sit in the corner of the shower & writhe. & when the water runs purple down the drain, it’s true: I infect. And if the snow of lying face-up in the middle of the street fills my mouth & chokes me.

I am tired of fighting this war.

I am weary. I want nothing.

I want a non-existence.

If you cut me open, I want my brain to be filled with mosquitos in scarves and hats, & for my veins to run with shower-water, & for my meat to be snow.

I want to melt & sink into the earth, & poison the wellwater.

poem olivia ho

photo julianna baldo

art karl olson