The two of us: Hugh Van Cuylenburg and Martin Heppell

In this feature of Torch, we highlight some of the many dynamic duos in our community. Old Carey Grammarians Hugh (1998) and Martin (1992) are the facilitators of the Resilience Project, which aims to teach people about mental health and strategies for a happier life. They are passionate about helping others and have shared their message with thousands across the country.

Hugh: When I was about 20, I was playing football for Old Carey and we’d been told that the great Martin Heppell, former AFL player, would be coming back to our club. I was so excited, and I remember having a massive crush on him at trainings. I think everyone did!

Many years later, I was speaking at a conference he attended. He was assistant principal of a primary school at the time and invited me to speak to his students. When I got there, he gave me the greatest introduction I’ve ever had to any presentation I’ve ever done. He was exactly the same person he was at the football club. He was super energetic and wearing outrageous clothes – a tweed jacket with a shirt and a tie, but with shorts, long Converse socks pulled up to his knees and basketball boots. He was getting the kids excited, doing magic tricks and making jokes and I thought, I need someone like this for the Resilience Project. When he eventually did join me, I found out in no uncertain terms how unhappy many of the parents at the school were that he was leaving.

Martin has the strongest moral compass of anyone I’ve ever met. I’ve learnt so much from him and having him as part of the team has been really powerful for me. He has no ego and has respect for every person he meets. Martin speaks to everyone with the same level of personality, love and care, whether they’re the principal of a school or a student, teacher, cleaner, administrator, parent, or just someone passing by.

A great example of this was once when we were at an airport and Martin spotted a guy who he thought looked a bit flat. He went straight over there and just said, ‘Hey mate, you all right?’ He sat down and had a chat with him, and I thought, this is a person who lives what we talk about every day. He is truly empathetic and caring and so attuned to how other people are feeling. Every time I’m around him, I always leave feeling that I’m a better person, just from being in his presence.

Hugh Van Cuylenburg (1998)

The Resilience Project came from my fascination about what makes people happy. I had been in many scenarios where I had seen genuine happiness and the depths of mental illness, so when I learnt about the importance of gratitude, empathy and mindfulness, I realised I had to share it. I was a teacher at the time and naturally focussed on adolescent mental health, but the project quickly became relevant to people of all ages and walks of life. We now present to all sort of organisations, still a lot of schools but also professional sports clubs and corporations and communities.

Being comfortable on stage is a massive part of it. I learnt public speaking when I was in Year 12. I was School Captain, so I was giving speeches at assembly every week, and I’d try to make them short and funny and it really helped me to develop the ability to perform. And Martin did too, from the stories his friends have shared with me, when he was at school he really learnt to perform and to win over a big crowd, engaging them and making them laugh. But that’s what we do, it’s a performance and we’ll only get the message across if we’re engaging.

I was delighted to find out this year that the Resilience Project itself is quite resilient. We’ve managed to survive and even thrive through a very difficult year. But it’s through uncertainty and discomfort that you grow and become stronger, so I’ve been doing everything I can to make sure that I personally, and we as a community, come out the other end of this year stronger than ever.

Whether it’s a Prep student or an 85-year-old, we want them to walk out with a little more confidence, a bit more of a purpose, and an awareness of the things they can do to support themselves and others.

Martin: I never want to work with anyone who’s not a good person, and Hugh is a ripper. I remember the first time I met him at Old Carey Football Club. He had this huge smile on his face and he just came across as a genuinely good human.

When I was working as an assistant principal, I saw what happens when parents don’t spend a lot of time with their kids. It was even more important to me then because my wife and I were about to have a kid and I wanted to be able to spend as much time with them as possible. And I’ve always been so passionate about student wellbeing. So, when I saw what Hugh does – connecting with kids and showing parents and teachers how important it is to support their mental health and wellbeing – I was so excited.

As I teacher, I learnt that listening to kids and knowing what’s going on in their worlds is the best way to connect and get through to them. When you give them the opportunity to talk and you value what they have to say, ask them questions and find out what they’re interested in, they’ll trust you and open up to you. A fundamental mistake people make when they’re working with kids is thinking they can talk down to them, but that’s not how they learn. It’s all about building a relationship.

When Hugh asked me to join the Resilience Project, he gave me an opportunity to do something I’m passionate about, and to do it with someone I respect and am proud to stand side-by-side with. Sometimes you get lucky, and you have to embrace it.

It took a lot of trust and humility for Hugh to allow me to take this project he’d put everything into and present it by myself and in my own way. When he started the Resilience Project, he gave up his teaching job and was sleeping on couches. He worked so hard to get it off the ground. Every time I’m out there, I’m giving my all to the audience, but I’m giving my all to him as well, because if I don’t bring my game, it impacts him too.

Martin Heppell (1992)

Hugh is an honest and open person. He acknowledges his flaws and is always actively trying to be a better person. I have so much respect and admiration for the way he is with his wife and kids – just striving every day to be the best father and partner he can be. He’s always willing to put everything on the line to get a better outcome for others, which takes so much courage. He puts his heart and soul into his storytelling and shares so much about himself with total strangers because of what those stories can do for other people. He always goes out of his way to support other people and will always be looking out for others – not only his friends and family, but everyone who reaches out to him. He’s always here for me and will always listen. With us, it’s about so much more than work.

It’s a privilege to do what we do, and it’s a privilege to work with someone so trusting and selfless. We’re always on the same page and we’re on this journey together, because we’re both so passionate about helping people. Whether it’s a Prep student or an 85-year-old, we want them to walk out with a little more confidence, a bit more of a purpose, and an awareness of the things they can do to support themselves and others.