And Another Thing

political discombobulations

Like most of you, I have had a sickener of politics from both sides of The Pond but it really is hard to ignore. I am a great believer in democracy since the alternatives do not fare well, so I was somewhat alarmed to read that despite devolution, the UK Government can proceed against the will of the Scottish, Welsh and Northern Irish administrations if it chooses to do so. I don’t know about you but I can’t remember voting for that. So it would seem that we don’t have a democracy really. Meanwhile a US spy married to a US spy can kill an innocent UK civilian bike rider and then be secretly repatriated on a non-scheduled flight to the US with no prospect of extradition. Not even an apology. Maybe that’s what the “special relationship” means.

On a lighter note, the most dangerous job in politics has always been the Speaker of the House of Commons. Apparently seven former Speakers have been executed or killed in battle over the centuries so the recent clamour for the head of John Bercow should not have been that surprising. Until the seventeenth century, the Speaker was often an agent of the King, and as such was usually blamed if they delivered news from Parliament that the King did not like.

This is my last post on Brexit for some time as I’ve managed to bore myself with the subject. However, the idiocy of our senior politicians is mind blowing. Simon Hart, Secretary of State for Wales recently said: “We are leaving as one UK (might want to ask the Jocks about that one Si), with a mission to build safer infrastructure, make our streets safer, clean up the environment and make our union stronger.” Not a single EU issue there mate. Next up Boris: “Brexit marks the moment when dawn breaks and the curtain goes up on a new act.” Ignoring his Trumpist mixed metaphor for a minute, Dawn Brakes was a character in Carry On Girls, played by Margaret Nolan. Here’s another good one. Mark Harper, (who?) was forced to resign recently as Immigration Minister for

Actress Margaret Nolan

employing an illegal immigrant. Don’t know why I am even surprised any more.

Anyway, onwards and sideward. I was wondering if eyewitness accounts were now extinct in our over-the-top politically-correct society. I say this because it is now frowned upon to describe a persons’ colour, physique, fashion sense, age, sexuality, gait, behaviour etc. Going to be even more unsolved crimes out there. Imagine Crimewatch: “Wanted, somebody for doing something to someone else, somewhere.”

Read this in a James Paterson novel the other day and thought it would be a great verse for anyone involved in trying to maintain peace: “The caller I’m awaiting, over whom I’m ruminating, has been long deliberating how to put me to death’s door. So after careful preparation, I’ll assess the situation and I’ll pray my presentation leads to peace and not to war.”

Q: Is a chicken-proof lawn impeccable?

Quiz down the local pub, with She Who Must be Obeyed and The Sainted Mother-in-Law, and one of the questions was, ‘which of the Ten Commandments covered not killing anyone?’ If you are interested it is number 5 depending which version you may follow. However, this prompted me to think that it was about time we had some

new commandments given that there is probably not a lot of call for coveting a neighbours Ass or Ox these days. So in no particular order:

• Do not covert thy neighbour’s car. • Remember that reality TV is not reality. • Do not put your talentless children on TV talent shows. (Just saw Katie Price on U Tube talking for 1 min 36 secs about talentless people on talent shows. Hmmm). • Do not use the last sheet of toilet paper and not replace the roll. • Do not watch TV on your phone, on full volume, in public places. • Don’t dis your father or mother. • Try not to kill anyone. • Don’t start an order with “Can I get” rather than “Please may I have.” • Blow, don’t sniff. • Don’t be a Chav.

Talking of Chavs, I saw this the other day which amused me: “Our Father, who art in prison, Mother knows not his name. Thy Chavdom come, thy shoplifting done in JJB Sports as it is in Poundland. Give us this day our welfare bread and forgive us our ASBO’s as we happy slap those who give evidence against us. And lead us not into employment but deliver us free housing For thine is the Chavdom, the Burberry and the Blackberry For ever and ever Innit.” I bet you read it out loud.

Network Rail has announced the completion of the electrification of the line from London to Cardiff. Hurrah. Leaving aside for a second that it does not go on to Swansea, it is still not electrified through the Severn Tunnel because conditions are too saline. Call me old fashioned but I thought that when something was completed it was finished, but apparently not. So taking a leaf out of Network Rail’s book, I have now completed this month’s writing apart from the next few paragraphs.

Son and Overdraft is now safely ensconced in an apartment in Long Island City, New York which was recently voted No. 8 in Time Out's list of the world's coolest neighbourhoods thanks to its delectable food, fun bars, scenic parks, and flourishing art scene.

This is Hell Gate Bridge, Astoria Park (below on the left) doing a very good impression of Sydney Harbour Bridge, his last place of employment. Where did it all go wrong?

Finally, my chum Louise, who edits this fine Publication, was telling me the other day that she has become the victim of bullying, something which nobody should have to tolerate. Her ex-best friend found out she has flat feet and has been very mean to her and bullied her over it. Apparently, he’s her arch-enemy now.

Au Revoir Mes Amis

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