7 minute read

Once upon a time

by Wyn Evans

My daughter, The Girl, is fifteen years old and loves a good story. When she was in primary school we would anticipate the arrival of inset days and holidays with ever-increasing excitement. I would allow the Girl a lie-in, perhaps for no more than an hour beyond her usual term-time alarm call but this was enough. She would run from her bedroom and into mine and The Boss’s room, jump under the duvet, and demand “it’s time for a story”! Back then, she didn’t want stories from a book, she was much more interested in creating our own tales of derring-do. It was important to her that both our dogs featured, that The Boss and I were at some degree of risk and that we be saved by our Girl with the dogs’ assistance. There was often a super-power involved, one which had lain dormant in real life. These did not have to be SUPER super-powers – while she was not averse to an ability to fly or demonstrate mega-strength, she was also quite content if the super ability was more homespun. I recall her being delighted when one story involved our hero being able to sharpen pencils - without a pencil sharpener! The story had to begin with ‘once upon a time’. Thus, “once upon a time in a large house by the park lived a family of a dad, a mum, a princess, and their two dogs, Kira and Meggie. One evening, they were sitting in their big, bright front room when they heard a squeaking from the corner behind the sofa. The bold princess went to see what was happening and found a mouse-hole that was getting bigger and bigger. Bravely, the princess stepped through the hole and entered a world where things were similar to our real world, but different...”. Then the story would go in whatever direction we fancied, ending only when the characters survived mortal peril, and escaped back through the mouse-hole, which closed behind them, “...the end”. I’m sure we have all read about how JK Rowling invented the Harry Potter universe as a bed-time tale she made up for her kids and that it was only subsequently that she turned the characters and plots into the literary equivalent of a cash machine. More even than I am in awe of JKR’s net worth, I remain astonished by the fecundity of her imagination. She was surely only able to monetise her creations because the plotlines and characters caught kids’ imaginations and developed a life all of their own; each child identifying with something or someone of her creations; and all against the background eschatology of a Manichaean struggle between good and evil, right and wrong, life and death. Given that the best I could come up with was the Super Pencil Sharpener Man, I think some degree of respect is the very least I can offer Ms Rowling. Gradually, these story mornings on inset days and holidays morphed into story evenings: The

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Boss and The Girl reading a story every night before bed. Books The Girl returns to again and again are the three ‘Rebel Girls’ titles: “goodnight stories for rebel girls”, “goodnight stories for rebel girls 2”, and “100 immigrant women who changed the world”. If these are new to you a few reviews will give you a good feel for them. “[This] reinvents fairy tales, inspiring children with the stories of 100 heroic women from Elizabeth I to Serena Williams, illustrated by 60 female artists from every corner of the globe”, “the anti-princess picture book you and little girls need”, “the feminist bedtime story book you’ll wish you had growing up”, “these bedtime stories trade princesses for women who changed the world”. Not only are these books inspirational in and of themselves we’ve found that we can relate them to contemporary events happening around us. Discussions with The Girl that have followed on from reading about some of these women have included: Black Lives Matter and the death of George Floyd; why there are so many abortions of foetuses carrying an extra copy of chromosome 21 (i.e. those with Down Syndrome, like my daughter); and what elections are for and how women gained the right to vote. In fact, this led to one of the better exchanges between The Boss and The Girl. The character under discussion that night was New Zealander, Kate Sheppard, Suffragette, who “stood up and declared, ‘women should be allowed to vote. And they should stop wearing corsets’”. “Kate and her friends gathered so many signatures on their petition that they had to paste sheets of paper together to form a long roll. They carried it into parliament and unrolled it on the floor, like a really long carpet. Imagine seventy-four ice cream trucks parked in a line - it was even longer than that! It was the longest petition ever presented. The legislators were speechless. Thanks to Kate, New Zealand became the first country in the world where women gained the right to vote.” They read about Kate Sheppard on the eve of the May local election polling earlier this year, after which The Girl asked The Boss to tell her some more about politics, politicians and elections. Aware of her responsibility to foster in our daughter a sense of citizenship and keen to avoid any overt cynicism The Boss set to with clarity and vigour. The Girl was silent for a while then ventured her opinion that: “you should be a politician mum”. The Boss: “No way could I be a politician”. The Girl: “Why not?” The Boss: “They never give clear answers to questions they are asked. Here, try some role play. You ask me a question and I’ll give a politician’s answer.” The Girl (channelling John Humphrys): “What new car are you going to get?” The Boss (channelling David Cameron): “I didn’t break any rules.” The Girl (channelling Jeremy Paxman, louder this time): “What new car are you going to get?” The Boss (channelling Boris): “It’s none of your business how many children I have!” The Girl (channelling Laura Kuenssberg, very loudly this time): “What new car are you going to get?” The Boss (channelling Theresa May): “Brexit means Brexit.”

The girl collapses into a fit of laughter. The Boss joins her. “The End!”

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Minimum size

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Cruse Bereavement Care Cymru, part of the UK’s largest bereavement charity Cruse Bereavement Care are supporting people affected by dementia with feelings of loss along the journey with dementia, in partnership with Alzheimer’s Society Cymru. The project is funded by Gwent Integrated Care Funding until March 2022.

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Cruse Support Volunteers are now trained and ready to offer support for people affected by dementia and experiencing feelings Supporting of loss and grief. Following on from the success of the first project of the partnership, Bereaved by Dementia, which supported people with dementia and their families following a bereavement, this new project has its focus on improving access to pre-bereavement support. The coronavirus pandemic has made it an even more difficult time to be living with, and caring for people with someone with, dementia. It is more important now than ever that people have access to the support they need. When someone is diagnosed with dementia, it is common for them and their families to experience feelings of loss. This project supports people diagnosed with all forms of dementia, and their families, in managing and better coping with their feelings of loss, from diagnosis onwards. dementia One client said “Their support for me was immeasurable, at a time of great darkness. Light in a storm!” & those close to them To make a referral or find out more about the support available email: through their loss and grieflossanddementia@cruse.org.uk Maxine Norrish, at Cruse Bereavement Care Cymru said: “We are delighted to be Supporting loss along the journey with dementia, in partnership with Alzheimer’s Society Cymru. There are currently over 45,000 people living with dementia in Wales. Through this project we are providing support to people affected by dementia from diagnosis, as their lives inevitably change”