Capilano Courier Volume 46 Issue 5

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north vancouver

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october

15 2012

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you don't like bike tickets?

WE'll show y'all what not to do

rasslin'

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Stichin' + bitchin'

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Star nipples

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CAPILANO Courier TABLE OF CONTENTS news

The Staff 4

of this amazing university newspaper JJ Brewis Editor-in-Chief

A whale of tale!

calendar

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Cemetery social events!

arts

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Ricky Bao Business Manager

Giles Roy Managing Editor

Katie So Art Director

Getting down to the knitty gritty

columns

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Harry Potter's balls drop

features

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Natalie Corbo Features Editor

Samantha Thompson Copy Editor

Sarshar Hosseinnia Sports Editor

Sit down, you tall dickweed!

sports

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I like cheesecake.

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Opinions

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Scott Moraes Caboose Editor

Celina Kurz Arts Editor

Stefan Tosheff Production Manager

Connor Thorpe Staff Writer

Shannon Elliott Web Editor

Leanne Kriz Ads & Events Manager

Lindsay Howe News Editor

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Very valuable variances via visceral vantage views

CABOOSE

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Leah Scheitel Opinions Editor

Where have all the staplers gone (long time passing)

CONTACT US LOVE US? HATE US? SEX US?

Phone: 604.984.4949 Fax: 604.984.1787 www.capilanocourier.com If you are interested in contributing, story meetings are Tuesdays @ noon in Maple 122

Colin Spensley Distribution Manager

× Letter from the editor ×

THE SOCIOLOGICAL IMAGINATION × ON the Cover ×

Stefan Tosheff

Stefan is the worst person I've ever met. One time he came to a party and when I offered him a beer, he said he brought his own. He has also never seen the first Die Hard or punched someone in the face, some one tell this kid how to live! He is also a professional illustrator and part time music snob. stefantosheff.com

THIS WEEK IN THE

WORLD None of this stuff happened

Stefan sleeps with Canadian pop sensation Carly Rae Jepsen, he said he'll call her, maybe × Katie's mail-order bride arrived. She was okay. ×

× Sam didn't get accepted to Monster University.

Giles ate nachos, and when the waitress asked him he wanted to take the leftover home, he aked, "is that weird?"

Featuring: giles Roy

The Voicebox gives you the chance to have your opinion heard, no matter how irrelevant or uninformed. Just send a text message to (778) 235-7835 to anonymously “voice” your “thoughts” on any “subject.” Then, as long it’s not too offensive, we’ll publish it! It’s a win-win-win, unless you’re a loser.

"JJ's Walt Disney is my JK Rowling. What a wonderful woman she is! What do you think the two would say over a cup of coffee?"

Um, apparently you didn't read the whole editorial, because it clearly states that Walt Disney is dead. How are they going to get coffee together if he’s dead, you turkey!

"Mcdonalds coffee cups always leak. it doesn't matter how tight the lid is, some coffee always leaks out the side and you get coffee all over your hand. Fix your coffee cups, Mcdonalds!"

The Courier is not in any way affiliated with McDonald’s, but we'll pass on your note anyway.

"I hate the CSU lounge because it always smells like popcorn."

That was actually the official reason for building the new CSU lounge in the library building. The old one smelled too much like popcorn.

Popcorn is nasty.

“I didn’t read the newspaper yet this week but I like the cover.”

Thanks. For more alternate photos of American flags, visit AmericanFlags.com.

“Now that I’ve read the whole thing, I have to say it was probably your best issue yet. Keep up the good work!”

You read every single thing on AmericanFlags.com? That site is dense, I’m really impressed.

“Can you guys please publish an event listing for me? God Said Kill, Psychotik Tantrum, Vancity Direwolves and Tyrannicide, October 20th at Funky Winkerbeans. Only 10 bux!”

Okay, now I’m poking around in the bowels of AmericanFlags.com and I’m actually learning a lot. Did you know that they are the main supplier of American Flags for every branch of the U.S. Armed Forces?

Every branch! Also, they’ve been praised in the Congressional Record for their patriotism. Get a load of that! The site even has a newsletter, in case you want to keep up to date on American flag news. Folks, it just doesn’t get any better than AmericanFlags.com - because your flag is your heart unfurled.

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× Editor-in-Chief

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By JJ Brewis

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THE VOICE BOX

essay, and I spend at least half my time in class asking myself what type of sushi I want to eat with Connor afterwards. It’s an internal battle that I always feel like I’m losing, but I am trying with all my might to remember that, as Justin Bieber once sang, “I was born to be somebody.”

I scour job ads as often as the next student, and I’m constantly reminded of the prospective door that is opened in the employment world, forever reminding me that I “must have a university degree.”

Instead of being that person who dropped out and went on to sell French fries for the rest of my life (not looking down on y’all, we all love that shit), I made a conscious decision that I have what it takes to be here.

Just as I prepare myself for a rollercoaster by pointing out the seven year olds ahead of me in line, I know that I can do this, because I am no better nor worse than anyone else who’s done it before. Even though all my classmates are bright-eyed and half a decade my junior, I am focusing hard, not only on the troubles of mechanical solidarity (that’s a sociology term, ever heard of it?), but also just keeping my eyes on the prize.

So to those of you thinking of peacing out and taking time to find yourself, while we’re all on our own path, if you’re already here just keep your head in the game. (that’s a High School Musical reference, ever heard of that?) Learning is never, ever a bad idea. I got this. And so do you.

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Celina's romatic fan fiction about the Wiz Khalifa is optioned for book deal.

I’m just gonna go ahead and say it: I’m not the greatest student in the world. While I do know a lot of things about the real world and have done a bit of traveling, I realize that we can’t all have it all. I, personally, find it extremely hard to absorb information in a classroom format. I like to think that my occasional burst of humour and my wealth of pop culture knowledge make up for my lack of a university degree, but deep down I crave that floppy piece of paper that tells me (and prospective employers!) that, yes, I am a smart person. Once upon a time as a fresh out of high school teenager, I snarkily defaced a philosophy exam, thinking I was better than it, writing, “You didn’t teach us any of the information on this test! This is me taking a stand!” Obviously my protest helped land me in academic probation, the first of several departures from academia.

But here I am: back in class, for the first time in longer than I’d like to admit (Okay, I’m being dramatic, it’s been like three years). I bring with me an overload of knowledge (or at least credits) of art history, creative writing, and technical drawing, but where will this get me in the real world? Well, not very far, probably. So I choose this opportunity to become well-rounded, whatever that may mean.

In my effort to go boldly where I’d never before gone, I decided my much needed ‘”quantitative” course would be a first-year sociology class.

Let’s be real, I’m not the world’s foremost scholar on the ins and outs of Max Weber, but I’m trying. I show up to class bright and early twice a week, pen and Justin Bieber notebook in tow (the irony of which is just beyond belief to my deskmate, who also happens to be named Max, which in itself is a coincidence, but not quite ironic.) I sit there, I listen to lectures about religion and labour, watch videos about the Hutterites and wonder what it would like to live in a society like theirs, where there are no iPhones, no dancing and no alcohol. It sounds pretty awful to me and my metropolitan comrades, and we briefly share a strained inquisition about how odd it is that they would deny the advances of technology, yet rely upon said advances for their own farming practices.

But this isn’t about the Hutterites, it’s about me. And honestly, what struck me as a surprise with taking this class in particular, is that I’m actually quite interested in the topics. Sure, I danced with the idea of that tempting withdrawal date that just passed us, with the constant reminder that I could be using these class hours’ time for watching The Voice or, you know, that long-awaited return to the gym I’ve been putting off.

But fuck that! I’m here because I want to learn, and I don’t want to be stuck in a crappy job one day, and I’m going to be damned if I didn’t give it a try. Or in this case, a third try. But it isn’t easy. I’m a slow reader, I get distracted by Facebook when I should be writing my social media

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NEWS

News Editor ×

Lindsay Howe × n e w s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

KEEPING WHALES ON THE WEST COAST Whale expert Dr. John Ford talks conservation Katherine Gillard × Writer Dr. John Ford from UBC’s zoology department held a lecture at Capilano University on Oct. 4 to discuss the conservation status along Canada’s West Coast. A local to Vancouver, Dr. Ford worked at the Vancouver Aquarium and had a keen interest in whales, especially in group specific dialects in killer whales. Dr. Ford’s lecture covered the cetaceans of B.C. and their populations.

In B.C. there is a great diversity of habitats including inland sea and deep fjords which are home to the 25 cetaceans known in B.C. Six of these cetaceans are listed in the Species at Risk Act (SARA). The reason many of these whales are at risk is because of the commercial whaling that occurred between 1875 and 1967. In this 92-year span it was reported that 15,000 whales had been killed from this intensive whaling period.

Currently, many of these whales have grown a much larger population and Dr. Ford comments, “I think people should be encouraged that many of the great whales that were so depleted by whaling in B.C. waters are showing a strong recovery.”

One of these whales is the killer whale, which is still listed as threatened under SARA but has a growing population. The killer whale is unlike most whales because it lives in all of the oceans, and is in fact the most widely distributed mammal, after humans. The killer whale has been tracked since 1974, via photo and collection of prey fragments, from this Dr. Ford and other marine biologists were able to learn more about what they eat, and where they live. By taking photos of whales as they come up from the water they have been able to ID each individual whale based on special markings or shapes. They have been able to

follow generations of whales via photo ID. From this research they learned that although they are the top predators in the ocean, these whales also have specialized diets.

The killer whale is divided into three different types, the residents who simply hunt salmon (specifically Chinook salmon), the transients who hunt mammals, and the offshore ones who reportedly eat sharks.

The transients split off from the residents about half a million years ago and became specialized mammal killers. They are incredibly stealthy and can eat anything from a minke whale, to a moose. The transients have been growing in population since the ‘70s at about a three per cent per year increase.

The offshore killer whales range from Alaska to California and from the research done on their worn down teeth, and the remains of shark livers found, are believed to be eating the pacific sleeper shark. It is also possible they are eating other kinds of sharks and fish. In the past few years there have been 300-400 identified via photo ID. Another type of whale that is at risk is the North Pacific right whale, which has become very rare.

Prior to 1875 it was reported that 15,374 of these whales were killed, but between 1908 and 1951 only five were reported killed. The last time these whales were seen was in June 1951. These whales are being tracked via passive acoustic recordings which are being sifted through by thousands of university students for research.

Another whale that hasn’t been heard from in generations in the sei whale. There are hardly any sightings and it is believed that they have moved elsewhere in the ocean. Dr. Ford commented that, “We were pleased to learn that a multi-national whale survey this past summer had two sightings of sei whales in the offshore waters of Canada's

EEZ. They only surveyed a small portion of our EEZ so there are likely more out there. Sei whales are known to undertake large-scale movements in the ocean so their scarcity closer to shore doesn't necessarily mean they are extremely rare.” The EEZ is the exclusive economic zone, that is a sea zone in which a certain state has special rights over its exploration and marine resources.

The blue whale is also listed as endangered, and there have been hardly any seen since 1967 to present. These whales move incredibly fast, but with sound recording and photo ID it is reported that there are 10 ID’d, and three that match to California sightings.

The fin whale is at-risk as well, and is prone to ship strikes. These whales have been tagged with satellite trackers and Dr. Ford was able to show a map from the past week that showed where they were in the waters.

Humpback whales are also prone to ship strikes, but a bit less likely than the fin whale. Their current population is 20,000 with an increase of four per cent per year. However, there have been 40 reports of entanglements from fishing line in

the past year, but with new equipment there have been about three or four fixes as well.

The grey whales are of special concern with a current population of 20,000. They migrate between the Arctic and Mexico every year, although there is some speculation as to which route they take. They prefer to eat and migrate near shore however, and their population is encouraging.

Dr. Ford left with noting that most whales are recovering from the whaling episodes and that recovery strategies are in place for most species. The top priority is maintaining sufficient prey for the whales and requiring critical protection for their habitats. Dr. Ford reminds us that, “A great way for people to get involved in whale conservation is by reporting any sightings they might make to the B.C. Cetacean Sightings Network. The growing database of sightings will go a long way towards improving our understanding of important whale habitats in B.C. waters. “ If you would like to report a whale sighting to the B.C. Cetacean Sightings Network, please visit Wildwhales.org.

×× Karen Picketts

All is Fair (in Government Funding) Trades receives funding while tuition prices are on the rise Christina Lamanes

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On Sept. 5, John Yap became the province’s new Minister of Advanced Education, Innovation and Technology, and while he’s only been in for a short time, he’s wasting no time getting down to business.

Yap announced that the B.C. government has decided to invest $29.2 million in regenerating trades training facilities at Camosun College as an integral part of the Skills and Training Program.

The project will cost an estimated $30 million in total, with Camosun College throwing in the extra $800,000 to have the project completed in spring of 2016. B.C. taxpayer contribution to the Skills and Training Program is about $52 million, just this year, up from $37 million in 2001-02.

The renewing of the college’s trades buildings will accommodate a total of 370 new (full-time equivalent) students in the trades training program. Over 2,200 students take trades and apprenticeship training programs at Camosun every academic year, with 400 students enrolled in the Trades Foundation each year.

Within the decade, trades trading at Camo-

sun has increased by 40 per cent with students going on to become heavy duty mechanics, ship-builders, horticulture technicians and many other trades professionals. Yap said the hope is “with every investment in facilities, equipment and programs, we're sending an important message: choosing a trade is a very smart choice, offering a secure, rewarding and respected career."

And as Yap also said, there is a plan to create a million jobs over the next decade, 43 per cent of which will need trades training, and so this new program will help to stimulate the B.C. economy.

While this is wonderful for those in trades, for the past 10 years, tuition rates in B.C. have been rising more quickly than any other province in Canada.

B.C. is fourth behind Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, and Ontario, for provinces most dependent on the funding received from tuition and student fees. According to Statistics Canada, B.C. had the highest household expenditures for post-secondary education in 2009. The institution dependency on money from students is currently sitting at about 43.3 per cent.

“Up until the [BC] Liberals took over government, students were paying 27 per cent of the post-secondary institutions funding pie,”

says Katie Marocchi, Canadian Federation of Students—BC chairperson. “Realistically, we only have to go back 10 years to see a radically different post-secondary education system in B.C.” She also brought up the fact that students will be paying a considerable portion of their income in taxation that will fund post-secondary education in British Columbia. This means that essentially, students are paying twice for the education they receive, once through up front user fees (tuition fees) and again through progressive taxation. The trades do need some more attention from the B.C. government as Marocchi goes on to say, “We are seeing the modularization of trades. Modularization is the process that compresses education into short programs with less content. It turns wellrounded carpenters into a poorly paid framer.”

When asked what students can do about the status of B.C. tuition costs, Marocchi stressed the importance of voting. The CFS is presently working on the Rock the Vote campaign to get “youth voters out there and active, and most importantly, educated.” The main role of students in bringing this situation to the forefront and remedying the last 10 years says Marocchi, is to make post-secondary education in B.C. a

vote-determining issue.

Capilano student Louise Gejrot, an international student from Sweden in her first year, says that there should be funding for trades.

“Of course, it’s just as important, but taking away money from other post-secondary programs is not the correct way to do it.” She goes on to stress the importance of these issues for students studying here in B.C., saying, “International students have to make a strict budget because we are so far from home that these issues become extremely important to us.”

David Fryer, another Capilano student in his third year agrees. “I think it’s good because obviously there are a lot of trades jobs opening up in the next few years but they could find a way to lower tuition as well, I’m sure.”

The overall sentiment from the CFS and students alike are that trades training is important and, if these highly-trained individuals will go on to stimulate the B.C. economy, all the better. The issue here is that by allowing more funding to go to these trades programs, the B.C. government is neglecting the rising tuition rates. However, according to Yap in an interview with the Canadian University Press, “now is not the time to reduce dependency.”

A FUTURE WITHOUT HOMELESSNESS Finding home event unites all for an event of inspiration Lindsay Howe × News Editor

“When I grow up I want to be homeless, mentally ill, and addicted,” said Andrew Clark of At Home/ Chez Soi Speakers Bureau. Clark was one of many speakers at Finding Home, an event on Oct. 10 that aimed to bring Vancouverites together to discuss homelessness. His words served the intended shock value reaction he was hoping for, and Clark explained that no child says those words when talking about their future, and the idea that residents of the Downtown Eastside have done this to themselves could not be further from the truth.

Clark, who was moved around from group homes and foster homes as an adolescent, and then spent the majority of his adulthood in prison and a federal penitentiary, describes himself as a success story of what can happen when just one person genuinely cares. Clark is now employed full time, self-sufficient and living a clean life.

Finding Home took place at Saint AndrewsWesley church located in Vancouver’s West End. When it began, Reverend Gary Paterson rose to address a large crowd of people who filled the pews that lined the religious building. However, this time Paterson had very little to say about religion. Paterson was the emcee for the evening’s homelessness awareness event, which was put on by the City of Vancouver. It aimed at bringing all Vancouverites, no matter what their faith or religion, into the same building for an evening of inspiring tales and idea sharing that focused on figuring out what we can all do to work towards change in our community.

Occurring on World Homeless Day itself, the event featured over a dozen speakers, and music from the Woodward’s Community Singers, a drop-in choir that features sounds from residents of Woodward’s and anybody else who would like to join them. They kept the night lively with their soulful sounds and peaceful hymns. As for the presenters, each speaker at Finding Home had their own story of triumph or initiative that left the crowd in awe.

The evening began with words from Dr. Kerry Jang, a professor at UBC and Vancouver City Councillor. He explained that one of the most influential reasons he decided to run for city council was because he felt that changes needed to be made in the way that the city deals with homelessness. Jang announced that the city recently opened 14 new supportive housing sites, interim housing, and Vancouver’s first “Rent Bank,” a temporary loan service to those facing eviction. Jang believes the Rent Bank idea will aid in the reduction of homelessness by preventing homelessness from happening in the first place.

Much like Clark, the ability to overcome homelessness and addiction was shared by other speakers at the event. Joe Roberts, of the organization Push for Change, is a former heroin addict who was living under the Georgia viaduct in 1989. He recalled not being sure how that came to be his life. He came from a good family, yet a series of bad choices landed him in a position of vulnerability, his only concern being when he would get his next fix. Roberts spoke about how strong his feelings about homelessness were even long ago explaining, “I made a prayer 25 years ago, that if I ever get clean and sober I will do something about it.” And he has. Last summer, Roberts pushed a shopping cart from Calgary, Alberta to the Downtown Eastside of Vancouver to raise

awareness about kids at risk, using the cart as ability to teach students how to communicate a symbol that represents preventing kids from effectively, and gives them the opportunity to having futures where they find themselves pushing write about the DTES and the residents of the shopping carts on the Downtown Eastside. That DTES from their own perspective, a far cry from journey was only a “warm up” for his upcoming the perspective of many reporters. shopping cart push from St. John’s Newfoundland The take-home message of the night from all the way back to Vancouver. Roberts hopes to Reverend Paterson was a simple one. Joking receive just 50 cents from every Canadian citizen that he would say it without trying to sound too on his next journey, meaning that the grand total religious, he said he believes the key to this would be around $17 million, all going towards issue is understanding and generosity. He believes prevention and recovery of at-risk youth. that if we would share our food with the hungry, Two other noteworthy presenters of the our clothing with the unclothed, and our homes evening were Alexandra Samur and Jackie with the homeless, we will finally be able to Wong, both instructors of DTES Community end homelessness.

Journalism 101. Samur, a journalism instructor at Langara College, and Wong, a ×× Sarah Eno Vancouver freelance writer, teach fiveweek programs of journalism to people who live, or have at one point lived on the Downtown East Side. Wong explains, “All Community Journalism 101 participants are united by a connection to the Downtown Eastside community that many current non-residents maintain through friendships with local residents and/or accessing services or employment in the area.” Wong acknowledges that her program varies from others available to residents on the Downtown Eastside, explaining “Community Journalism 101 is unique from other Downtown Eastside writing programs in that it focuses on non-fiction journalistic writing and building media literacy for Downtown Eastside community members. There are a number of other writing programs in the neighbourhood, and most focus on creative writing. Community Journalism 101 aims to give people tools to engage meaningfully with local media and their communities by building their media literacy and building their journalistic writing skills.” The program has the

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cap calendar monday OCT. 15 Block 51: A Look Back This is the first of two consultations about what to do with this space. Featuring a screening of the 1973 NFB film Chairs for Lovers, and followed by a panel conversation from the original designers of Robson Square, everyone will come together to brainstorm the future of Robson Square and whether or not it should remain a pedestrian plaza.

7 p.m., Vancouver Art Gallery. Free.

Calendar@ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m Contact us to have your event featured in the calendar.

The Presets The last time I saw this Australian electronic duo was four years ago, and it pretty much ruled, despite the fact that I was covered in everyone else’s sweat from head to toe. Leave it to those Australians to make a room full of people all sweaty. Well, come on!

8 p.m., The Commodore Ballroom. $28.50.

tuesday oct. 16 Live Waste Audit EarthWorks is the first curriculum initiative of its type in Canada. it aims on improving our recycling habits while instilling the value of resource recovery. This all starts as hundreds of Capilano students will analyze one day of campus waste. Sounds absolutely disgusting, but the results are fascinating. The day will conclude with a screening of The Clean Bin Project, all as part of the EarthWorks initiative.

11 a.m., Sportsplex. Free.

Nick Waterhouse Retro and soul have been in revival for years with the likes of Sharon Jones and Amy Winehouse. Now it’s time for the guys to give these old tricks some new life! Nick Waterhouse gives these vintage sounds a spin with his brassy band. As Lou Bega would say, “The trumpet!”

8 p.m., The Biltmore Cabaret. $15.

Got the Facts on Milk?

This documentary screening will give you the chance to explore our long-rooted belief of the health benefits of milk. Filmmaker Shira Lane investigates the science research, and also talks to diverse groups of people – everyone from dairy farmers to “ordinary Americans.” The documentary is both entertaining and partly animated.

7 p.m., Central Branch of VPL. Free.

Nouvelle Vague All of your favourite ‘80s pop, industrial and rock hits re-imagined. Their name means “new wave” in English and “bossa nova” in Portuguese. Tricky! But here’s your chance to hear “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” in two part harmony.

9:30 p.m., Fortune Sound Club. $25.

wednesday oct. 17 Dancing at Lughnasa Capilano’s theatre is putting on this show that has levels of both nostalgia and sadness. It tells the tale of Michael, and his discovery of the Festival of Lughnasa. He revisits his family, and the new wireless(?) inspires his mother and aunt to dance, causing ancient pagan customs to clash with Christian beliefs.

8 p.m., NSCU Centre. $10-$22.

VIWF The Vancouver International Writer’s and Reader’s Festival is a great time to get to know some local writers, hone your skill and just generally have a good time. Staff writer Connor Thorpe did a whole article on it this week, so check it out for all the deets.

Times, locations and ticket prices vary.

Thursday oct. 18 All Souls: Creating personal shrines Honestly, I had no idea cemeteries did these community events, but apparently they do and it sounds like a nice time. Today they’ll teach you how to make a personal shrine, with a presentation by Marina Szijarto. Later this week they’re also doing a workshop on making sugar skulls! It’s a chance to learn about something unique.

8 p.m., Mountain View Cemetary. Free.

Fright Nights I know people who are super into Halloween, and I also know people like me who like it but are really only prepared for the kid-friendly version because everything else makes me want to curl up in a ball until Christmas.

Even though I go to Fright Nights every year, I basically spend the night screaming and running away from the creepy things chasing me. 6 p.m., Playland. $31.

Grimes The toast of Canadian indie pop has reached manic international success this year touring all over the world and co-headlining festivals with the likes of Sleigh Bells and Hot Chip.

She takes weird to less obnoxious levels than Nicki Minaj and we like that. Rainbow hair, but muted!

9:30 p.m., Commodore Ballroom. $20.

Zombie Syndrome This is an interactive, roving theatre adventure that will take you through the streets of Vancouver. You’ll use your smartphone to navigate through the show, avoid zombies and find a scientist’s super secret laboratory.

The idea of this legitimately terrifies me, but I’m sure you’ll have fun.

Varying showtimes, at a super secret location. $25.

Chelsea Hotel A musical set to the songs of Leonard Cohen?

What’s not to love! According to the show’s website, Hotel is “a riveting fusion of music, dance, and theatre that takes its audience on an illusionary journey into the hotel room and creative mind of a Writer in search of the right words to cure love’s pain.”

8 p.m., Firehall Arts Centre. $30/25 student.

Topshop and Top Man Finally our favourite stores are back open!

The best place in town to buy moderately unique-looking clothing and scope out cute boys (or girls, sure). They’re giving out lots of free swag on the opening night, if you tweet photos of yourself in their clothing. Also, they give a student discount so what up!

9:30 p.m., The Bay. Free!

Das Oktoberfest This sweet party will fill you up with delicious German food and beer. There’s also live entertainment (including yodel, sawing and hammer competitions!) To top it all off, there will be an Oktoberfest Princess crowned every night (but just so you know, tonight it’s going to be me).

8 p.m., Vancouver Alpen Club. $25 + cost of food and drink.

Paranormal Activity 4 is released!

Has anyone watched the second or third one? That part in the original when the guy’s body gets thrown at a camera made me spill my popcorn all over the floor and I ain’t forgivin’ nobody!

All day, theatres around town. $12.50ish.

Wear Purple for Spirit Day Bullying stinks! Nobody likes it! Wearing purple today lets people know that you think bullies can suck an egg!

All day, everywhere. Cost of purple shirt.

Bruno Mars Party Courier Opinions editor Leah Scheitel is way into SNL, and is hosting this party at her house to commemorate everyone’s favourite (cough) fedora wearing crooner with a planet in their name, Bruno Mars! (sorry, Jason Mraz). Eat popcorn. Swoon over Bill Hader.

Mourn the departure of Kristen Wiig.

Contact us if you seriously want to come. We seriously want you to. 11:30 p.m., free!

David Byrne and St. Vincent The guy from the Talking Heads and that curly-haired woman who yodels or something, together at last!

7:30 p.m., The Centre for Performing Arts. $39.50-$79.50.

friday oct. 19

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Adam Cohen This Canadian romantic is on tour with his first album in eight years, Like a Man, which was released earlier this year. His melodious voice will sooth you, and his love-filled lyrics will make you want to cry with the overload of emotion.

7 p.m., The Rio, $37.

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Saturday oct. 20 VSO Presents: Tchaikovsky Ballets Classical music is awesome, especially when it’s performed by the Vancouver Symphony Orchestra. Today they’re playing two of my faves: Sleeping Beauty and Swan Lake, and it’s going to be a magical experience!

8 p.m., the Orpheum. $21-$88 (special student prices!)

La Bohème Called the world’s most popular love story, it is both a beautiful and heartbreaking tale. It sounds like it will be a nice emotional night out, especially since the show is performed in Italian (so romantic!) with English subtitles.

7:30 p.m., Queen Elizabeth Theatre. $35$175.

Great Big Boo This sounds absolutely adorable. It’s a musical targeted at kids, but obviously we’ll have fun at it too. How can you not, with characters like Vinnie the Vampire and Priscilla the Princess?! As a bonus, you can see the Great Big Boo and The Magic of Santa (another gem) for just $35!

Varying showtimes, PNE Forum. $19.50.

sunday oct. 21 Brock House Wedding Show Maybe you’re getting married, and maybe you’re not, but either way wedding shows are really fun. Last year my sister and I went, got a load of free swag, spent a long time in the photobooth, and tried some wedding cake.

Seriously, sweet way to spend a Sunday.

11 a.m. or 2 p.m., Brock House. $35/bride (with goodie bag worth $175!), $30/guest (no swag )

Vancouver Chess October Tournament When someone tells me they’re really good at chess, I instantly know they’re super smart.

Chess is a game of skill, of planning ahead, of logic and of theory. All the skills you need for life! I can’t enter because I don’t take chess seriously enough (I play Wizard’s Chess exclusively). Make sure you bring your own chess set and clock if you’re going to enter!

11:30 a.m., Vancouver Bridge House. $15.

Raffi I used to work in the gift shop at Vancouver Aquarium, and one time Raffi came in. My co-worker decided to be a sassy bitch and asked Raffi, “So, are you here to see the baby beluga?” Completely deadpan, he replied, “Yes,” and walked away with his maple toffee chocolate snack.

2:00 p.m., The Centre for Performing Arts. $35-45.

arts

arts Editor ×

Celina kurz × a r t s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

TAKE A LOOK INSIDE A BOOK Writer’s Fest celebrates 25th anniversary Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer “Writing is a solitary activity, and reading is a solitary activity,” says Hal Wake, the artistic director of the Vancouver International Writer’s Festival (VWF). “We tend not to read in groups, and our role as a festival is to bring the reader and the writer together in a lively and engaging discussion of books and ideas.”

The Writer’s Festival has done just that for the past 25 years, allowing Vancouver audiences to take part in an on-going discussion with the world’s pre-eminent literary minds – while also allowing an intimate look at the personalities that are sometimes obscured by the hype that surrounds their work.

“We provide a kind of venue for that conversation to take place – because as far as we’re concerned, books represent ideas,” Wake explains. The importance of books, writing, and the art of storytelling in our culture have been highlighted by the ongoing popularity of the festival amongst writers and the public alike. Since the inaugural edition of the Vancouver Writer’s Festival, it has grown concurrently to interest from the public and participating authors.

“There was a sense in those days of a growing interest in Canadian books and Canadian literature and [founder] Alma Lee came out to

×× Kira Campbell Vancouver and noticed there wasn’t a writer’s festival,” Wake says of VWF’s 1988 origin. “That first year there was something like 16 writers and maybe 20-some events.”

“It’s grown considerably but in response to a clear and evident interest,” he continues, referencing the current festival offering of 77 events featuring over 100 writers.

This year’s festival, the 25th anniversary, takes place at Granville Island and will feature a diverse selection of revered current authors, including acerbic British novelist Martin Amis. Amis, one of the more notable writers at the festival, is coming off of the release of his new novel Lionel Asbo: State of England, and will speak on the work during a special event on Oct. 14. Other special events will be held throughout the festival, featuring Michael

Chabon, Jian Ghomeshi and Lynda Barry.

This year, the festival includes 41 authors hailing from British Columbia. Wake says that the festival strives to have a strong contingent of local Vancouver writers that contribute in various capacities each year as well – from being featured in events to acting as moderators. “We certainly have always had a healthy representation from Vancouver,” Wake explains.

He notes that even writers from other provinces and abroad often make a positive impact on the Vancouver writing scene during their time at the festival. “Many of the writers who come to the festival go to university classes and help creative writing programs. So we’re very, fully integrated into the Vancouver writing scene … It’s a mutually supportive relationship.”

Those looking to get involved with the VWF are encouraged to become members of the festival.

Memberships are annual and include the ability to vote at VWF general meetings, as well as discounted tickets and early-bird ticket purchasing privileges. For more hands-on involvement in the festival, volunteer positions are available in a variety of fields each year. These include author hospitality, distribution and general assistance.

“We have almost 300 volunteers doing a wide range of tasks and the festival couldn’t be done without those volunteers,” Wake says. “It would just be absolutely impossible.”

VWF also offers an opportunity for local

writers to get in on the action, in the form of their 14th Annual Poetry and Short Story Competition. Writers have until Oct. 21 to submit their poetry and short fiction to the contest. First place winners in each category win $500 and have their pieces published in Vancouver’s subTerrain literary magazine.

Wake emphasizes that there is something at the Vancouver International Writer’s Festival for everyone. “We do fiction and non-fiction and poetry [as well as] genre writers like science fiction, and crime and graphic novels,” Wake says.

He made note of the difficulty in presenting a balanced, inclusive lineup of authors each year.

“It’s a very complicated process of trying to have a lot of diversity in the programming … The hardest part for me in this job is having to say no to some people that I think would be fabulous, and I would really love to have, but I just don’t have room for.”

Becoming involved in a discussion about books – why they matter, what ideas they present and how they change us – is an important step in understanding our culture and society in general.

Wake believes that the VWF allows the unique opportunity to do so within the context of a gathering of like-minded individuals in the presence of the authors themselves.

“There’s always some interesting, compelling view of the world that comes out of a book, so there’s always lots to talk about.”

To learn more or get involved, visit Writersfest.bc.ca.

FIBRE OPTIC Local event company strives to build a tight-knit community Celina Kurz × Arts Editor

Whether you’re just beginning or have been at it for years, Knit Social is a great resource to meet new friends who share your interest and check out the state of Vancouver’s fibre art community. “It probably sounds so weird to someone who doesn’t knit,” says McLean, “But it’s just a little world.”

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fibre arts scene is so busy and active currently: “I think one [factor] is that knitting is coming back into style; it’s quite trendy right now to do, so people really enjoy [it] and people are getting into it all the time.” She also cites Vancouver’s “long rainy season” as a more locally specific motivator.

“People like to be cozy in the winter, and when it’s raining outside...[knitting] is a nice cozy thing to do!”

She points out the dedication that many knitters have to their hobby as a reason to why the scene manages to thrive. “Another thing about knitting and fibre arts like spinning and weaving is that it’s really an obsessive hobby. Once you get into it and you realize that it’s not that hard and you can do it and you can tote it around - like it’s really portable, you can do it anywhere - and you realize you can make things for yourself and your friends … it’s an obsessive thing.”

Knit Social also holds retreats, the next of which will be held Mar. 8-10 at Springbrooke Retreat Centre. “We have people from all different levels, so some people are super advanced and make amazing things, and then we’ll have beginners, like people who can do a knit stitch and a purl stitch and that’s about it, but it doesn’t really matter,” McLean explains. “It’s not competitive; everyone is just trying to get better. No matter what level you’re at, there’s still something new you can learn and a place you can challenge yourself, and people really want to help you if you’re having a problem.”

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“People are always saying how hard it is to make friends in Vancouver, but once you have a hobby or once you find something you love doing, it’s easy.” For the co-founder of Knit Social Event Company, Fiona McLean, that hobby is knitting.

McLean and business partner Amanda Milne began knitting together four years ago when they were both pregnant with their first children. “[We] moved into the same co-op building and started a knit club, and the obsession with it all grew from there,” McLean explains. What it grew into was Knit Social, a company that organizes “knit-centric” events, from retreats to yarn swaps to yarn sales.

She describes the community itself as a very supportive one, and a social one, especially important in Vancouver where “No-Fun City” breathes down our neck like a challenge. In a study conducted in June 2012 by the Vancouver Foundation, one third of participants reported that they found it difficult to make friends, and 25 per cent agreed with the statement, “I find myself alone more often than I’d like to be.” So if you’re looking for a way to make new connections with people, a communal activity may be a great way to branch out, says McLean. “In Vancouver, people in the community are so welcoming and nice. People love getting together and knitting together, and you can do it at home by yourself, but it’s a lot

easier to talk to someone when you’re all knitting.”

For those with an interest in exploring the world of knitting and other fibre arts, it’s not hard to get involved: most yarn stores host knitting nights that are completely free and open to the public. And as McLean says, there’s “actually an exceptional number of yarn stores [in Vancouver] for how small our town is. … Everyone is super friendly and if you go in there and say, ‘I don’t know how to knit,’ they’ll help you.”

The company just put on their biggest event yet: Knit City, a weekend-long fibre art festival of lectures, workshops, demonstrations, and vendor booths. “There’s a lot of talent in the fibre community here in Vancouver,” explains McLean. “We just thought we would try and make some kind of bigger event, get all these independent artists together … and see what happened.”

McLean describes Vancouver’s fibre arts community as “pretty amazing. It’s not as big of a city as Toronto or Montreal but [there are] some really artistic people here.” McLean explains that fibre arts go well beyond knitting, pointing out that the art also includes knitting, felting and beyond. “At a bit of a higher level, [Vancouver has] quite a lot of independent artists who sell their hand-dyed yarn or hand-spun yarn.” McLean points to a few local groups raising interest in the fibre scene. “Sweet Georgia [and] Sweet Fibre are really becoming quite big names in the yarn world, and they’re locally based in Vancouver.”

McLean has a few theories on why Vancouver’s

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arts

arts Editor ×

Celina kurz × a r t s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

HUNK A HUNK BURNING LOVE

Capilano film program grads film “black rock-umentary”

Lauren Gargiulo × Writer

the capilano courier

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When Bryant Boesen first asked his parents if he could film their first trip to Burning Man, they flat out told him that they “were not going to be the characters in your dumb reality TV show.” But after some pleading and begging, they agreed. “[I told them] if it doesn’t work out, we can end up with the best home video ever,” Boesen says.

Taking My Parents to Burning Man is a documentary being created by Capilano University film school graduates Bryant Boesen and Joel McCarthy. Boesen and McCarthy, along with Boesen’s sister, parents and an entire film crew, went to art festival Burning Man in the Black Rock Desert in Nevada, California this summer for Boesen’s fourth-year developmental project.

This was Boesen’s third trip to Burning Man, although the first with his parents accompanying him: “I never told them where I was going the first time … They ended up googling Burning Man, and all these pictures of burning sculptures and half-naked girls popped up and they were like, ‘Holy shit, our son has joined a cult.’” However, he says, after their own experience, “they’re cool with it now, they totally loved it.”

Boesen and McCarthy met during their first year in the film program at Capilano, and collaborated on almost every project they’ve had to do in their time there. “We’re really different, I think one way, and Bryant thinks in a totally different way, we work really well together because of that,” says McCarthy. “Bryant asked me to film this project with him … but I honestly didn’t think he was going to go through with it.”

In fact, the entire crew who worked on the film are Capilano film school graduates, and both Boesen and McCarthy are enthusiastic in their appreciation for Capilano University’s program. “Cap prepares you for the real world,” Boesen states. “Plus, it’s way cheaper.”

McCarthy agrees. “I have yet to find a school that holds a candle to Cap. I love it there.”

The experience creating the film wasn’t all fun and games, though. The crew had to deal with funding issues, transportation confusion, and even some broken bones.

“Our funding fell through, around four days before we were supposed to leave,” explains McCarthy. They had managed to raise $10,000 using the fundraising website Kickstarter, but

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discovered a bit too late that they didn’t qualify.

“You had to be American, and Bryant has dual citizenship, so we figured that would be fine, but apparently he needed an American passport, and he’s never had one before.”

More stress arose when McCarthy’s car broke down three days before they had to leave, and the RV they were planning on using fell through. “We needed two cars so the film crew could get footage of the RV

× Shannon Elliott

ers” hitching rides as well. “I think it was better actually, not to be so sheltered and confined,” says Boesen of the experience.

On top of all that, they discovered additional challenges once they actually made it to Nevada.

“The weather is terrible. There’s dust storms all the time, and the dust is super corrosive, cameras can overheat cause it’s so hot, so everything had to be super protected because of the climate,” says McCarthy. Additionally, he adds, “It’s not eco-friendly. You have to bring everything for the entire week in. Food, water, there is nothing alive there. There’s a lot of waste because of that.”

The documentary they got out of the “mass amounts of footage” they filmed is still being put together. “We can go so many different ways with all the footage we have,” Boesen says. It’s all up to where they want the movie to go: “We could make it in a bunch of different ways depending on what film festivals we want to enter it in,” McCarthy says, with Boesen enthusing, “I just really want lots of people to see it.”

While the project is still underway, the biggest trials do seem to be in the past. “We must’ve had horseshoes shoved up our asses, that last week, we really should’ve just thrown in the towel and just not have gone to Burning Man, but I’m really glad we did. I have no regrets, now that I can actually sleep at night again!” McCarthy beams. However, he adds, “I will never film another documentary at Burning Man.” To learn more about the movie or to find details on donating to its fundraiser, visit Takingmyparentstoburningman.com.

Luckily, with a network of support, including some of their professors, they managed to raise $4,000, which covered their food. They have since then started an Indiegogo campaign, which is only $679 short of their $10,000 goal.

Disaster hit the Boesen house that week as well, with Bryant’s mom breaking her ankle. She ended up with a walking cast and a cane, and she “made the most of it.”

driving for the documentary,” explains McCarthy.

They ultimately managed to borrow his mother’s car.

As for the RV, “We managed to find a bus two days before we left for Burning Man. It was bright green and used to belong to a softball team called The Dirty Mitts.” Unlike the RV, which would only have Boesen, McCarthy, the film crew and Boesen’s parents, the bus had other “burn-

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arts Eerie Rainbows

DOIN’ THANGS Grizzly Bear emerge from hibernation

By Giles Roy

Critical acclaim for a first release is one thing, but keeping those critics and fans around for round two seems to be a hard fence to climb: it’s not called sophomore slump for the hell of it. Lucky for UK outfit the xx, their second helping of atmospheric electronic indie-pop is just as powerful and innovative as their debut.

Promoting their very-new September release Coexist, the London trio showcased a well-polished and ethereal set that delved beyond their two albums, penetrating the audience with a melee of sight and sound that attempted to bond the crowd, band and venue in a supernatural cohesion.

It was impressive to see such a keen eye to aesthetical detail in their live set. The all-inblack indie rockers and coveted Mercury prizewinners impressed the sold-out Vogue, slicing off a generous set that was big on synths and DJ beats at the hand of producer/band member Jamie xx, as well as soothing vocals from co-leads Romy Madley Croft and Oliver Sim, whose juxtaposed octaves complement each other well. Not to mention the light show—a triumphant display of lasers, LEDs, and a light-up backdrop letter X got the better of the crowd, who cheered just as much for the visual stimuli as the aural.

The sounds are so pretty, but don’t let that fool you: the xx are not some fluffy image band with no substance to back them. It’s more of a case of being a package deal, with the music, lights and whole affect creating an experience. Dark and mysterious undertones lay the bricks for what is one of the most captivating and chilling live performances in recent memory. This approach to live music seems to work: the entire crowd acts as if in a dazed trance throughout their performance, with an emotional hypnotism in the down-tempo numbers, but getting a swagger on when appropriate.

10/10

When talking about Grizzly Bear, it’s hard not to mention the Beach Boys. The former’s sound, while unique, is firmly reminiscent of the latter’s post-Pet Sounds output, something nobody in the current pop climate has so accurately tapped into.

The Brooklyn quartet (live quintet) add a degree of pizzazz to their live show that’s a little unexpected, given the typical mood and style of their music. A timed light show accents the loud bits and goes dim for the quietones; lanterns that look a bit like IV bags bathe the band in an artsy glow; Ed Droste inexplicably parades around with an autoharp. It’s all impressive, but wholly unnecessary. This is a band that could offer up one true-to-tape rendition of their 2009 hit “Two Weeks” and have that alone be worth the price of admission.

They did that exact thing, surprisingly, about halfway through a neatly balanced discographyspanning setlist. Shields, their third LP as a real band, lacks such an immediately infectious single but the new notables (such as “Sun in Your Eyes” and “Yet Again”) translated perfectly well to a live setting, receiving some of the strongest audience approval of the night.

More of an achievement, however, was the way older non-notables took on new life. Veckatimest’s “Cheerleader” was a clear highlight, with all three singers trading off and demonstrating vocal skills that have been honed, non-stop, since their big break three years ago.

They’ve earned their Beach Boys comparisons.

Ed Droste could be the group’s Brian Wilson, Daniel Rossen could be their Carl, and Chris Taylor could be their Dennis. And they wouldn’t even have a Mike Love, because most of Mike Love’s songs sucked shit.

9/10

× Mellisa dex guzman

×× KAtie SO

BELIEBE ME ALONE Justin Bieber brings adult panties to the floor

By Shannon Elliott

QUASI HOSPITABLE Hospitality bring chill vibes to Media Club

By Brian Pascual

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If you’ve been craving more Belle and Sebastian in your life but are tired of waiting around for a new record, then you probably should have already picked up on New York band Hospitality’s debut release earlier this year. Taking their twee cues from Stuart Murdoch and co., as well as fellow like-minded peers like Camera Obscura and Tender (don’t confuse us with Temper!) Trap, Hospitality upped the ante by adding a little more than a dash of classic NYC new wave and punk (à la Television and the Velvets) to their sound.

The result is a consistently rewarding collection of precious-but-catchy pop songs, anchored by clever lyrical turns courtesy of lead singer, Amber Papini.

Bringing these songs on the road has allowed the band to really let them take on more muscle, as their live set proved to be heavier than one could have anticipated. Not sacrificing the light and bouncy rhythm that permeates the debut, Papini and friends showed an ability to turn things up louder, and stretch out parts of the set with longer jams like the aforementioned Television.

Their performance was not void of flaws, however. Papini herself, the natural beacon for attention as lead singer, seemed off. Not only did she rarely smile, there was a curiously absent attempt at really connecting with the crowd beyond the songs.

If you came for the songs, you weren’t disappointed. If you were just as excited to see the band have fun with this set, maybe you had an extra beer or two to keep things interesting.

Regardless, with such a great debut in their back pocket their next move will be worth noting.

7/10

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Being a grown-up Belieber is almost like being part of a secret club; we sing along to his songs in our cars, we own all his albums on vinyl, we watch his every late-night interview, and I myself have a giant 3D poster of him on my kitchen wall. However, every day I hear countless of my peers denounce Justin Bieber as though personally offended by his very existence. Last night, however, the Biebs proved the haters wrong as he thrilled a packed house at Rogers Arena with one of the most stunningly-produced concerts I’ve ever witnessed, leaving hundreds of tweens and more than a few adults in a state of crazed Bieber-fever.

From my amazing vantage point in the second row (!!!) I witnessed the prince himself fly to earth from a multi-level stage on huge metal angel wings made of guitars. Dressed in his trademark drop-crotch leather pants, studded vest, and insanely high-topped kicks, the Biebs wasted no time working the crowd into an ecstatic frenzy with a blistering set of all his greatest hits.

His voice is still strikingly pure and mind-blowingly always on key, and when paired with his stage presence and slick dance moves, he comes off not as a spoiled kid with too much money but as a born performer. In a windmill of crotch-grabbing, writhing dancers, lasers, smoke, pyrotechnics, and the screams of a thousand 14-year-old girls, everyone was completely carried away in the spectacle of the show. Countless of girls shed tears of real emotion. Although he occasionally slowed it down to exchange charming banter with the crowd or his band, Justin kept it high-energy all evening.

Even his slower ballads were accompanied by completely over-the-top theatrics, such as soaring over the crowd in a retractable crane while rocking out on a guitar that cost more than my car. By the time he brought the evening to an earth-shattering climax with an encore of “Baby”, I was convinced that he could have converted even the most jaded of non-Beliebers.

Oh, and Carly Rae Jepsen was there too, I guess. ONE MILLION STARS OUT OF TEN

the capilano courier

The xx marinate in atmosphere

By JJ Brewis

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Columns

Columns Editor ×

JJ Brewis × E d i t o r @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

Tales of the Toxically Single

Anna L. Beedes × Columnist

The art of asking out We’re going to fuck and we’re not going to care.

I actually said that to a guy once. I know, how embarrassing.

By that point in the evening, the number of whiskey shots I indulged in outnumbered the amount of fingers I own, on both hands, including thumbs (which aren’t technically fingers). My friend Sally spotted a guy who worked at the JJ Bean on Commercial Drive. I had spent so much money trying to get up the nerve to ask this guy on a date, but whenever I went to get another coffee I didn’t need, he would walk away, or seem busy in the back. If he did take my order, he was quiet and seemed not into it. So when I saw him at the Cobalt, I seized the opportunity to ask him out.

Or ask him to fuck. Apparently I wasn’t going to care about it.

We did end up doing things that my mother wouldn’t be proud of that night. And while we were taking a break from the action and indulging in a cuddle session, I asked him: “Why did you never talk to me at your work? You know that I was there to see you.”

“Because you scared the shit out of me,” he replied. “You’re intimidating.”

Seeing as I think of myself as a sweet teddy bear that just wants to be little spoon in the morning, it was surprising to hear that I, a sweet little teddy bear, could come across as intimidating to anyone.

“What do you mean I’m intimidating?” I inquired, “I never scare people.”

×× Camille Segur “You looked me in the eye, and asked how my day was,” he responded, “I liked you, but you were scary to talk to because your confidence was intimidating. I’m a sucker for red hair, but thought you may be another crazy ginger type.”

“But my hair is dyed red,” I explained, defeated.

This is an oxymoron. Being polite isn’t scary, it’s common courtesy. Confidence is supposed to be something that attracts people to you. If you watch even one episode of America’s Next Top Model, you will hear Tyra Banks preaching that confidence is key to the success of any girl, not just models.

But my tenacity and courage to ask guys out was getting in the way of the blossoming of love, not enabling it.

Although it is becoming more socially

acceptable for girls to romance guys, there is still a strange social stigma surrounding it. According to my gospel of male friends, getting asked out by a girl slightly de-masculinizes the guy, and makes him intimidated. One even went so far as to say that guys are “genetically programmed” to chase girls, and if we ask them out, it takes away some of his satisfaction in the relationship. This is stupid.

If a girl has big enough balls to ask a guy out, he doesn’t need to feel dissatisfied. He only needs to feel flattered.

While I don’t want to steal any satisfaction away from the guys, sometimes it’s easier to just take things into my own hands. Like a lot of people my age, I’m busy. I work two jobs while going to school fulltime. With the spare time I have, I don’t want to waste it by dolling myself up to prance around in front of whoever is my object of affection for that month in the hopes that he asks me out. What’s so wrong about asking a guy if he has free time on a Friday night? There just seems to be a lack of communication between what I say and what they comprehend.

What I say: Hi, I’m going bake cookies on Friday before I ride my bike and drink a beer. Would you like to join?

What they hear: Hi. I’m single and lonely. Want to be with me forever, where we can spoon-feed each other vanilla pudding while gazing into each other’s eyes every night before we make a battalion of children that look exactly like me?

Cover to Cover

The next morning, as I scrambled together my clothes while Mr. Coffee Barista slept, it became clear it wasn’t meant to be. Leaving while the guy is still asleep is a sure-fire sign that it’s game over. But thanks to my affair with him, I’m now aware that not everyone perceives me as the innocent little girl that I think I am. But getting asked out by a girl shouldn’t be as de-masculinizing as some guys think it is. And I think that everyone, guys and girls alike, should follow my friend Sally’s golden rule: If anyone musters up enough guts to ask you out, do the polite thing and go on the date. It’s only one harmless date, and if it sucks, you never have to see that person again. But who knows, it could rock and love could blossom. If not love, maybe just one night of shameless sex.

Win a date with Anna L. Beedes She’s asked others out, and now it’s your turn to ask her!

The Courier is paying for a night out on the town with Anna!

Email anna.l.beedes@gmail.com and tell us why you should be chosen to take our dating columnist out for the evening.

To enter, submit a few sentences on what your dream date is. It’s that easy.

Brian Pascual × Columnist

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Harry Potter and the Dull Road to Adulthood

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So, J.K. Rowling wrote a new book. This may be the biggest book news story of the year. You can be forgiven if you weren’t aware of this or didn’t even care, because for a lot of people Rowling became irrelevant to their lives as soon as they finished reading that infamous epilogue to her last novel, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Yikes. But for the rest of us who lived, ate and breathed Harry, there was so much more than high curiosity and intrigue in the fact that Rowling was releasing something new, whether it had anything to do with her previous work or not.

The questions were too numerous to consider.

Would it be about adult Harry and Ginny’s young wizard children? Would it be a prequel about Harry’s parents when they were students at Hogwarts?

Would it have anything to do with wizards at all?

Would it even be for children?

As more information about her new book became available, Rowling’s message was clear: Harry Potter is being shelved and she is moving on (for the time being at least). Whether or not Potter fans are okay with this new endeavour is beside the point. Rowling has rolled up her sleeves to create her first non-Potter and non-children’s work.

So why is this so huge? The notion of an established children’s author crossing over to the adult world is not a novel idea (sorry, I had to). C.S. Lewis may be most known for his Chronicles of Narnia series, but as an esteemed scholar he also wrote several works of non-fiction. Judy Blume’s done it as well, adding some mildly erotic adult

fiction to her great coming-of-age books for pre-teens. More recently, Daniel Handler, famous for his Series of Unfortunate Events books under the pen name Lemony Snicket, has several other adult books to his credit. These results have been met with mixed reviews, with Lewis’ work doing best among the group, possibly attributed to his Christian ties.

Authors are even going the other way now, with the likes of James Patterson and John Grisham stepping out of their usual suspense thriller shoes in favour of adventure and mystery books for teens.

But no matter how many of her peers are working outside of their known or established characters and series, when Rowling does it, the world should take notice. With the creation of Harry Potter and the world that goes with him, Rowling added a new and major piece to the literary lexicon. Those books are going to be in school libraries possibly forever, passed down from generation to generation. Harry Potter is not a fad that will go away. He will be part of the education and learning experience for our children and our children’s children and so on.

So if you’re Rowling and you’re trying to write something that isn’t Potter, what do you write about? With The Casual Vacancy, she has written a story so completely and wholly removed from the world of wizards that she actually settled on something—gasp—boring.

Ask yourself this if you would read a book about the following: a small English town has a vacant

city council chair after a member dies of a heart attack. If I said the death of this councilman is the impetus for a class war between the town’s people would it make things more interesting for you? As someone who has gone to a Halloween party dressed as a Harry Potter character, I am sad to admit that I would never pick this book up if it were written by anyone other than Rowling.

It’s a testament to the loyalty she has created from her readers that people are even trying to read The Casual Vacancy, especially in the face of the early reviews that are being filed, which are not exactly glowing.

Rowling’s writing style continues to have a certain quaint flavour to it. Think about the first part of each of the first few Potter books (where Harry always started off at his relatives’, the Dursleys’ home before heading off to Hogwarts in the fall) and you have an idea of what Vacancy’s town of Pagford is like. In other words, it’s not terrible, but it’s not great, either. Sure, there are some saucy characters (including a few frisky teenagers who you can’t help but think are what Harry and his school chums could have been like in a more Rrated Potter world) and a lot more sex than you might have been prepared for from Rowling, but by the end of the book all of that is forgotten.

And that might be the worst indictment of all for Vacancy; it is destined to settle into Rowling’s oeuvre as a mostly forgettable first post-Harry attempt.

The biggest challenge for Rowling here was

obviously writing a story that was more attached to reality than anything she’s ever published.

Rowling probably has a hard time sticking to the rules of the “real world” after always having the freedom of creating an entire fictitious magical world and working within that for seven installments. I respect her attempt of trying something new, but I just can’t get over the disappointment of what her “new” is.

That all being said, Rowling gets a pass here because of her previous track record. Isn’t that how it should always be for our favourite writers or artists? I know The Strokes will never record anything as perfect as their debut record, but I will buy everything they release until they stop.

And I will read Rowling’s second adult novel even though I will be openly wishing for her to write the Hogwarts prequels. But maybe she will be smarter than that and learn from George Lucas’ mistakes and leave her precious franchise as it is. No matter what she does for the rest of her writing career, she will still be the author who gave us Harry Potter.

×× Shannon Elliott

Locked Groove

Jason Motz × Columnist

Rodriguez: myth and resurrection As 2012 enters the final quarter, there is a clear forerunner for artist of the year: Rodriguez. Or you might know him as Sixto. Or maybe you haven’t heard of him at all. If so, you might ask, who is he?

Rodriguez, 70, a Detroit-born son of Mexican immigrants, is both a victim and a benefactor of rock and roll obscurity. As a victim, his spotty recording output (1967-1972) sold poorly for a handful of indifferent labels. The songs were neopsychedelic urban-folk yarns with a stern political core, all flash-fried in acid. Rodriguez retired from the industry in 1978 with little notice. But his two records, Cold Fact and Coming From Reality, became cult items throughout South Africa, Australia and New Zealand. He re-emerged in 1981 for a brief tour, cut a live album and then…disappeared. Rumours emerged that he set himself on fire with gasoline. On stage, no less. A variation on the myth held that he shot himself in the head.

Rodriguez did not surface to address the rumours.

The truth is not so dramatic, however. Turns out Rodriguez didn’t kill himself, but lived.

"Nothing beats reality,” he said in a recent interview. “I decided to go back to work, though I never really left music. I took a BA in Philosophy, got into politics, ran for mayor, for City Council, for State Representative in Michigan and I also

ran for my life.” He lost out in all of his political bids, but this time in the political world would go on to round out an already captivating personality.

Meanwhile, Rodriguez gained a large fan base in South Africa. In 1997, a South African fan started a website about the missing troubadour, with the hope of uncovering the truth: Was Rodriguez dead? Did he really execute himself on stage? Or was he alive? If so, where had he been?

Well, the answers to these questions make for a compelling story, one documented in the critically acclaimed documentary, Searching for Sugar Man. Director Malik Bendjelloul traces Rodriguez from the point when he fell off the face of the earth, through decades of silence and into the present day. (Having wowed audiences at several film festivals this year, the film recently opened in Vancouver.) The film is a powerful document; a product of a fan’s love for an artist. The film is a worthy addition to the canon of great rock documentaries: Searching for Sugar Man also serves as a proper introduction to Rodriguez. If you were unaware of Rodriguez until now, don’t beat yourself up. He is a textbook example of a cult artist living on the fringes of pop culture - just a name with uncorroborated myths affixed to it.

So what is it about Rodriguez that would make those few who knew of him treasure his records?

What does Cold Fact offer the listener that nothing else does? And why does his signature track, “Sugar Man”, sound so fresh 40 years later?

Rodriguez has a street-wise, laconic delivery that is at turns cutting and soothing, but never lacking for cool. In his old photos, Rodriguez wears flared trousers and an open-collared shirt, his long mane of raven black hair resting on his shoulders, and from behind large blackout shades, a mask of distinct inscrutability on his face.

Rodriguez is every bit of an enigma in photos as Bob Dylan.

In a recent interview, Rodriguez opened up about the lack of commercial success he had first time around: “If people are not showing at the gigs, it’s difficult and all very real. It was case of ‘Hey man, I can’t get something happenin’. I think a lot of [artists] get disappointed like that," he told a writer for the Quietus.

Combining elements of Dylan, Neil Young and Nick Drake, Rodriguez is the great artist who never was, a man, who with better management, could have been the greatest Detroit export in between Motown and Eminem. Listening to Rodriguez brings to mind lush and exotic imagery. His compositional dexterity is breathtaking, imbuing his songs with the soul of a poet. As well, his diction and phrasing is sublime. The gorgeous

Anti-Social Media

vulnerability of “Sugar Man” and “Crucify Your Mind” rival Nick Drake’s best work. These songs especially create a Technicolor soundscape full of yearning that defines his best work.

Today, Rodriguez seems not to have aged. The cool gait, the hair, the voice…all of it remains, untouched by decades of obscurity. In performance, he dominates the stage with his passivebut-imposing-figure. He still sings as he did forty years ago, the proverbial voice of milk and honey.

Only the gods of rock and roll could explain Rodriguez’s commercial failure in the 1970s. Listening to his records, they sound as fresh as anything released in 2012. Few albums from the past year have played with such frequent, intoxicating rotation as those by Rodriguez. His return is cause to celebrate. With his current tour, including his first-ever stop in Vancouver, Rodriguez is getting a second chance at long-elusive fame. Audiences, long deprived of his mercurial music, are now getting to sample wares that most of us never knew we were missing.

Jason Motz cannot have a conversation without speaking about music. The bands he listens to in a day make up the mood he's in. Let's hope we've caught him on a Fleetwood Mac day, not in one of his Joy Division moods.

Alan O’Doherty × Columnist

What does your Social Network say about you?

As society spirals towards its inevitable collapse and people increasingly insist on using the word swag, any excuse to avoid interacting with human beings directly must be snapped up without hesitation. As a result, no social network should be considered too redundant and obscure for social pariahs like myself to waste our lives on.

For better-adjusted Netizens however, choosing where to make their presence felt in the online sphere is a matter for consideration. The kind of networks you choose to frequent can tell judgmental people like myself a lot about you.

Read on, bold traveller, for a thorough guide to the ins and outs of online social spaces and how friends and strangers alike will judge you for being seen there.

Twitter

The workhorse of social networks, having a Facebook profile doesn’t tell you much about someone – ironically however, not having a Facebook profile can prove to be rather revealing.

Are you trying to stick it to Zuckerberg, for reasons you don’t fully understand, by not having a Facebook profile?

Are you worried the government is listening in on you and your fellow revolutionaries at your college Anarchist Society? Here’s something that may ease your fears: the government isn’t event faintly interested in your political ambitions, nor are most of your friends.

Verdict: You have a Myspace Account: A) You opened one sometime in the early 2000s and haven’t visited it in roughly a decade. This makes MySpace sad.

B) You are a musician who hasn’t yet given up their dreams of achieving a life of creativity and happiness. Don’t worry – you will soon enough.

C) You really like independent music and make an effort to listen to unsigned bands and offer them your support. I like you.

You Don’t Have a Myspace Account: You were born after 1994.

Not technically a social network as such, YouTube still includes some of the features we’d associate with sites like Facebook or Bebo (anyone remember Bebo? I sure as hell don’t.) It’s generally impossible to avoid YouTube and if you have a Gmail account, you automatically have a YouTube ac-

Google+ Oh dear, Google…guess you can’t be good at everything, huh?

You have a Google+ account: You are a very lonely person.

You don’t have a Google+ account: That’s what you think!

The social media juggernaut seems unstoppable. With more websites springing up every few months catering to ever more inexplicable niches it’s only going to get tougher to know which ones are worth wasting your time on. Perhaps the easiest solution is to turn off your laptop, throw your smart phone at a passing pedestrian and try some good, old-fashioned face-to-face socializing. And if you can’t handle the idea of that, at least steer clear of dick-centric Chatroulette.

Alan O’Doherty has so many social media accounts that his digital fingerprint is visible from MySpace.

Alan is fascinated by the neuroses and intricacies of today’s online societies. His other love is beer.

Go figure.

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YouTube

Verdict: You use your YouTube account to comment: You have a limited grasp of the English language and feel compelled to let the world know how ill informed you are, usually on the subjects of politics and religion.

You don’t use your YouTube account to comment: You’ve recognized that sometimes it’s fine to watch videos of cats without talking about it.

You should be proud.

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Verdict: You have a Facebook account: You look like anyone who was born after the 1970s and may or may not be normal. Having an account doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person but if you aren’t careful you could become one. don’t have a Facebook account: You are: A) A Luddite B) An ultra-hipster C) A really crap “revolutionary.”

Are you in a band? No? Then why the hell are you here?

In July 2005, MySpace was bought by Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation for $580 million, only to be bought again by Justin Timberlake and Specific Media Grouwp in 2011 for just $30 million in one of the most hilarious examples of people overestimating how useful websites full of awful music are.

Formerly the world’s premier social media hangout, MySpace is now mostly known for giving musicians a place to upload their art free of charge and provides the rest of us with a few useful features, like giving music enthusiasts the chance to download content with the band’s permission, etc.

count anyway (Surprise!). However, most people are sensible enough to avoid the “social” aspects of YouTube and refrain from getting involved in the endless flame-wars and illiterate debates that ravage the pages of the world’s largest video site.

×

Verdict: You have a Twitter account: A) You suffer from a sense of unwarranted sense of self-importance

Facebook

MySpace

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Twitter is essentially a stream of humanity’s consciousness, displaying both fascinating and terrifying truths about those we cohabit this planet with.

Before Twitter, it was impossible for celebrities to achieve such interactivity in their public humiliation or to demonstrate their stupidity to the world so aptly. But what are ordinary folk doing on there?

Lurking, for the most part: according to an online stats company, the majority of users don’t actually tweet but like to keep an eye on what fascinating insight Kim Kardashian has on the escalating violence in Syria, probably. With a hardcore base of active users, Twitter seems to have become a theatre of nonsense – a handful of celebrities, marketers, and techy-types bellowing into the online void while dead-eyed onlookers try to make sense of it all.

B) You work in social media C) You enjoy getting instant updates from whatever your chosen area of interest (hopefully news and current affairs, but more likely celebrity nonsense) D) You are Kim Kardashian (also see suggestion A) You don’t have a Twitter account: You may well be an ordinary human being who simply doesn’t see the need for Twitter. Be prepared for your colleagues, friends and sometimes even complete strangers to berate you for failing to move with the times and accusing you of being more antiquated than a typewriter whose only font is Egyptian hieroglyphs.

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FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

RULES OF THE ROAD: A HOW-TO GUIDE TO not GETTING A TICKET ON YOUR BIKE Natalie Corbo × Features Editor amount per capita probably isn’t much different than how frequently they track cars speeding,” although HUB does not keep hard data on this.

He adds that helmet traps and fines given for running stop signs are by far the most common form of cycling law enforcement.

At present, MacDonald explains, the Motor Vehicle Act in B.C. treats cyclists the same way as cars, with a few explicit exceptions made for what the MVA calls “slow moving vehicles.” “Last time I checked, a two wheeled human powered vehicle is different than a killing machine,” adds MacDonald, echoing what seems to be a common sentiment among cycling advocates.

With no “bike driving” test to pass, it’s easy to plead ignorance when you break the law on your

bicycle. But frankly, no one’s ever used the word “ignorance” in a flattering way, and if that’s not reason enough for you, the desire to avoid a $30 to $100-plus fine might be.

The following is a list of stuff that you can actually get in real trouble from the law for. By “real trouble,” of course, I mean a ticket.

46 issue N o . 5

It’s a popular perception in Vancouver that cyclists can get away with anything. Read the comments on any article about bicycle infrastructure, the impending bike share system, or even just a news piece about Gregor Robertson: you are guaranteed to find more than one person deeming all cyclists entitled jerks. In actuality, cyclists are subjected to most of the same rules and regulations that motor vehicles are, with the addition of a few strange bylaws that don’t seem immediately intuitive. For example, it’s not exactly common knowledge that something as seemingly trivial as not having a bell on your bike can land you a $100 fine.

Law enforcement doesn’t feel overly present to most cyclists, but according to HUB’s North Shore Committee Chair, Jay MacDonald, “the

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Heroes in a half shell

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Easily the most obvious and controversial of all the bike bylaws in Vancouver, “pro-choice” means something entirely different within the Vancouver cycling community. This is also the offense you are most likely to be ticketed for, in part because it’s pretty easy to catch someone not wearing a helmet. For a heads-up on where and when the checks are happening, follow @bikeyvrHT on Twitter. ×× STefan Tosheff & Katie SO

A Creative Dare

Light it Up

TING-A-LING

The Motor Vehicle Act states that one “must not ride other than on or astride a regular seat of the cycle.” This kind of seems like inviting trouble, because who would think to do anything else if this wasn’t enshrined in the Province of British Columbia Motor Vehicle Act, Section 183? If only this could be interpreted to make banana seats or tall-bikes illegal. Mostly, it just seems like a challenge to make the most unorthodox bicycle seat you could possibly get away with.

Not only are you required to have lights on your bike (if riding within half an hour of sunrise and sunset), but the law dictates what kind of lights (they call them “lamps” -- cute), including a front light, a red light in the back, and a red reflector.

If you need a little internal motivation to light your bike up, just imagine you are Nick Cage in Ghost Rider, surrendering your soul to fight the son of the devil. On a bike that can be seen from miles away.

B.C. Civil Liberties Director David Eby famously got a $100 ticket last year for lacking a bicycle bell. It’s not the sexiest way to announce your presence from behind, but if you ever plan on setting a single wheel on the Sea Wall, you’ll be glad to have one.

These Sidewalks Are Made for Walkin’ This is one of those rare instances in which all cyclists, motorists and pedestrians seem to universally agree: riding your bike on the sidewalk is the worst. So who are these rogue assholes terrorizing pedestrians on Broadway, when the next street over is a bike lane? There’s just no way for me to answer that question.

Old-Timey Shenanigans Simply put, having people ride on your handlebars or your pannier rack or any other bicycle appendage is not allowed. As dictated by the fun police, apparently. Also, by the real police.

Just like when driving a car, cyclists are legally required to have at least one hand on the handlebars of their bikes at all times. Unlike driving a car, ICBC states on their website that there are no plans to extend the motor vehicle cell phone ban to cyclists, although texting using both hands on one of those old 2009 QWERTY phones could cause you to violate this handlebar bylaw. Rest assured though, it is perfectly legal to ride a bike with only one hand, allowing you to transport a freshly baked pie, or obnoxiously smoke a cigarette, all while riding.

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46 issue N o . 05

“Slow moving vehicles,” including bicycles, are to ride as far right as possible on the road. This is all well and fine, but taking this too literally could lead to being “doored” by a parked car. Ironically, parked cars may often pose more of a threat to cyclists than moving ones, as people fling their doors open with reckless abandon - a move that can effectively clothesline a cyclist. While the image of this is highly comical, the potential resulting neck and body injuries are not.

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Welcome to the anti-bus. Cycling is totally solitary, totally free, and totally devoid of smelly bus-strangers. But you’re also not allowed to wear headphones in both ears - a rule that, if carried over to bus riding, would likely put public transit out of business. The trick here is that the bylaw says “both ears,” implying that wearing a single headphone is acceptable. So much for riding with the stereo sound of your Beats by Dre headphones.

Hands on the Wheel

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Keep it To the Curb

These are probably a more important safety issue than helmets, in practical terms. A helmet might lessen your injuries if a car smashes into you, but using hand signals correctly could be the thing that prevents that car crash in the first place. Plus it feels pretty bossy to have big trucks yield to your feeble hand motions.

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Surround Sound

Turn Signals

FEATURES

Features Editor ×

NATALIE CORBO

× s p e c i a l f e at u r e s . c a p c o u r i e r @ g m a i l . c o m

SEX, DRUGS, AND EAR PLUGS The Courier’s guide to concerts and show etiquette JJ Brewis

GRAPPLING WITH TICKETS

× Editor-in-Chief

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Most shows go on sale shortly after being announced, but some events will have a pre-sale in which you can score early bird tickets without the stress of having to beat others to the punch.

If you’re really keen, sign up for your favourite artists’ mailing lists and follow their Twitter accounts to find out about exclusive pre-sale dates.

The Georgia Straight and Live Nation will often release a pre-sale password, so get on those mailing lists. But be warned: often the best seats are saved for the actual on-sale date. It’s a gamble, but you can always re-sell those pre-sale tickets if you score better ones later.

In addition to not missing out, you may even save a few bucks by buying early. “It’s good to keep in mind that when there are tickets being sold in advance, it's almost always cheaper,” says veteran-concert-goer and Capilano student April Madden. “Buy in advance. No whining when you buy at the door and it's more money.”

To further save some dollars, buy from a record store like Red Cat or Zulu. Their modest distribution fees are much cheaper than the Ticketmaster equivalent (Such as a $23 show that is suddenly $35 after the hilariously-named iconvenience fees.)

Large shows at Rogers Arena offer “fan packs,” self-described VIP options that are almost always a rip-off. Lady Gaga’s recent tour offered a $470 “Heavy Metal Lover” ticket option that included very little considering the price. Marginally better “prime seats” are offered, with minimal perks like “on site security” (as if that’s exclusive?) and garbage-ready merchandise items like paper lanyards or glow sticks. Save your cash, buy a regular seat, and if you really want a merchandise item, buy one (of your choice!) separately at the show.

Events sell out, so try entering contests through radio, websites, or newspapers. Twitter is your friend. Sometimes a simple re-tweet can be your entry into a sold out event.

If karma can dictate anything, selling tickets is a game of give and take. Maybe you’ve bought better seats or a scheduling conflict has come up: be a good person and sell those tickets at face value.

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WHAT TO BRING

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×× MILES CHIC

Going to concerts is built into our society, but anyone who has been to a few knows that some people just don’t quite get it. Nobody wants to be that guy at the show. And then there are those other things: second hand weed in your face, shirts

sold out in your size, and no money for a drink because you spent it on checking your bag. Whether you’ve waited all night and now have some gigantic egg-head in front of you, or you got stuck without tickets to your favourite band, we’ve got tips for you to make your show fun and easy. Here you have it: the Courier’s guide to the perfect concert experience.

Cash! Most venues have ATMs, but these machines will charge you $2 to $5 just to use them.

“Unless your concert-going life is restricted to shows at Rogers Arena, it's a cash business, so bring it,” says Madden. Drink and merchandise lines are generally seen as a quick, dirty affair. Have your money handy, grab your purchases, and get out of the way for the sake of the other 25 people in line.

Ear plugs! These little things could save you from that unpleasant 24/7 ear ringing known as tinnitus. "Bring earplugs might sound all fuddy-duddy,” Madden says. “But in five years you'll either wish you had or be glad you did.”

The right people! Try to keep in check who you are inviting to a show. Just because “Float On” was a hit doesn’t mean your friend will be able to stomach an entire Modest Mouse set. Choose

wisely. I once dragged along a handful of friends to a Noah + the Whale show and actually felt bad for how bored they were, despite my own enthusiasm.

ROLLING THE MERCH DICE If you’re someone who cares that much about which item you can commemorate that time you saw Arcade Fire, take an advance peek online and figure out how much a shirt would be. If you’re the type to load up on vinyl and posters, bring your own tote bag, but don’t ask for one. I will never forget the embarrassment of seeing the poor awkward kid at the Beach House show a few weeks ago asking for a plastic bag for his $50 in purchases.

Pro-tip: Don’t wear your newly purchased band shirt at that band’s show. Please. Maybe you’re a hardcore fan who owns a “vintage” shirt from that band’s show two years ago. This is still a no. You don’t look like the biggest fan in the house, you just look like a dunce.

Depending on the venue and artist, band merch can fluctuate heavily in price. Local bands are just covering overhead costs with $10 shirts and cheap cassette tapes, but shows at bigger arenas will have t-shirts starting at $40. Prepare for expensive shit, or avoid temptation by bypassing the merch booth completely. More popular styles and the size medium will always sell out first, without fail. If you’re that focused on buying something, show up early and snag it with success.

DRINK UP? Drinks at most music venues are outrageously priced, but luckily many spots have a neighbouring locale at which you can slam them back for a fraction of the price. The Commodore is mere feet away from the much-cheaper watering hole, Café Crepe. The Rickshaw has a cheap but kind of scary neighbour bar, The Savoy, where you can get bottled beer for almost half the price. Just don’t get anything on tap, and don’t get so carried away that you’ll forget the show you came for. “Wait till the show is done to get drunk,” says Lauren Ashley, a concert promoter in Victoria who books shows with her company, The Lottery.

CROWD-READY ETIQUETTE

ADVICES ON VICES

“Most people standing up close are, or should be, there because they really appreciate the band’s music and want to see/hear the performance... not about how you slept around on your boyfriend,” says concert photographer Tom Nugent. The front of the stage is reserved for those who put the time into coming early. Don’t be that jerk who shows up late and lies about your friend being at the front of the stage. “People who show up late to general admission shows and expect to see the show from the front,” are a top concert pet peeve, says Madden. “No one's loving your elbows or the attitude you're giving in order to try and get up there.”

ETIQUETTE ETC. Additional pro-tips to allow for a smooth evening: - Let photographers through to the front when the set starts. They’re only allowed to shoot for three songs, and then they’ll be out of your hair.

- Speaking of photography, you don’t need to spend the whole show taking pixilated shots of the artist. Take one or two low quality shots, then tuck your phone away for the remainder of the set. Also, if you have an iPhone, turn your brightness down!

- Lay off the cologne/perfume, especially at sit-down events. Nobody wants to be stuck next to the guy with the Axe body spray all night. Hell, why does anyone want to be that guy?

- Don’t request songs. It’s highly unlikely that the band will stray from their meticulously pre-planned set list just for little old you. Also, the song you are requesting is likely a hit, which will certainly be played, or it’s an obnoxious b-side that even the band wants to forget.

- Try to consider your own personal boundaries and don’t infringe on others’. If you don’t like being bonked in the head consecutively for an hour and a half, perhaps the person next to you won’t like it either?

- PDAs are probably best left for…anywhere else, basically.

-Tall people, be considerate: "If you're tall, take a moment not only to look around you, but below you to see if there are any shorties balancing on their tip toes trying to catch a glimpse of the stage” says local singer/ songwriter Suzy Sabla. “You might consider repositioning yourself.”

-Basically, don’t be that guy. “The dancing guy that bumps into you way too much and is just there to feel the music,” is a prime example of who not to be, according to Courier Production Manager and Yes Bear band member Stefan Tosheff.

- Don’t try to high-five the singer. They don’t give a shit. You’re wasting your time.

WHAT TO WEAR

NAVIGATE YOUR EVENING Sure, your ticket says “doors at 8,” but most promoters and venues will tweet set times. Note that all set times are subject to change and can be adjusted or updated at any time throughout the evening, with or without notice. “I don't show up at doors. Set times are your friend, if you can get 'em,” Madden says. Showing up early is a fool’s paradise, and just an opportunity for venues to capitalize on bored patrons buying overpriced drinks to pass the time.

If an event is booked as an early show, however, it’s for a reason. I forever regret the time I tried to arrive casually on time-ish for a Jens Lekman show, and realized I’d walked in mid-encore. Some venues book club nights and have a strict 10:00 or 11:00 curfew for the music event’s crowd to be out.

THAT OTHER BAND One of the, biggest mistakes concert-goers make, says Ashley, is “that the opening band isn't worth seeing. The opening band wants to be there more than anyone. They deserve our attention.” Take the time to look up the opening artists ahead of the show to find out if you’re interested. Often times the opener will be just as captivating as the headliner, and every now and then they’ll be even better than the artist you bought the ticket for.

Recently I saw The Walkmen open for Florence + the Machine, and it felt like the ultimate icing on an already delicious cake. If you’re not interested in the opener, stay at home and come late. Some people may be there strictly for the opener, so don’t show up and talk through their experience.

THIS LITTLE THING CALLED AN ENCORE

The Commodore Ballroom, 868 Granville Capacity: 990 Home to: Die Antwoord, Snoop Dogg, Beach House Tickets: $22 to $45 The Electric Owl, 926 Main Capacity: 350 Home to: Beach Fossils, Teen Daze, Austra Tickets: $8 to $17 Fortune Sound Club, 147 E. Pender Capacity: Unavailable Home to: Lil’ B, Fucked Up, Shabazz Palaces Tickets: $10 to $25 The Media Club, 695 Cambie Capacity: 150 Home to: Yacht, Other Lives, Slow Club Tickets: $7 to $20 The Railway Club, 579 Dunsmuir Capacity: 200 Home to: A slew of (mostly) local favourites Tickets: $5 to $12 The Rickshaw Theatre, 254 E Hastings Capacity: 600 Home to: Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti, The Pack A.D., Kurt Vile Tickets: $13 to $30 Rogers Arena, 800 Griffiths Capacity: 19,000 Home to: Taylor Swift, Bob Dylan, Metallica Tickets: $29 to $175+ Venue, 881 Granville Capacity: "around" 400 Home to: The Raveonettes, Twin Shadow, Austra Tickets: $12 to $25 The Vogue Theatre, 918 Granville Capacity: 1250 Home to: Said the Whale, M83, Tegan and Sara Tickets: $20 to $60 The Zoo Zhop, 223 Main Capacity: Unavailable Home to: Gang Signs, Jelly Boyz, Thee AHs Tickets: $5 to $10

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It may seem a bit redundant to say this, but when I saw Ed Sheeran recently, he told the crowd a story about a recent gig in which he left the stage after the set, and when he returned for the encore discovered that the crowd had left. Yes, most of you know about this already.

Sure, many are trying to duck out to grab their coat check items or miss the Skytrain flow after the show’s complete, but without fail, I see a few early birds stroll back in as soon as the encore song starts up. How many times have I heard the equivalent of an angry crowd member say, “I can’t believe he didn’t even play Born To Run”? Just stick around until the end. Don’t miss your opportunity to hear Frank Ocean let out a bangin’ Beyoncé cover.

The Biltmore Cabaret, 2755 Prince Edward Capacity: 320 Home to: Future Islands, A.C. Newman, Best Coast Tickets: $10 to $20

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“Look hot,” says Sabla. “You never know when you're going to bump into mister/misses right, and presumably they like the same music as you.” But, girls, leave the heels at home. I can’t tell you how many shows I’ve attended with my sister in which she’s started moaning about sore feet halfway through. Stick to comfortable footwear—there are still plenty of attractive options that won’t ruin your experience.

I would also recommend leaving your bags at home, if possible. The Electric Owl, for example, charges an outrageous $5 for mandatory bag check. Not only that, but they’re likely going to root through it before you check it, and nothing’s worse than having a bouncer rifle through your backpack of condoms and/or Justin Bieber memorabilia.

For those who have been to enough shows, sometimes the act becomes so routine that it is possible to remember to enjoy yourself.

“The best concerts I’ve gone to have felt like a two-way street between performers and audience,” says Vertesi. “A lot of people just stand back and watch with their arms crossed. It’s hard to have fun when you’re just standing there. Get involved!”

Vertesi insists that concert-goers should “just give your attention and participate,” adding that a perfect crowd finds the delicate balance between not involved and too involved. “You get one way or the other. One side is barely listening, completely silent, no energy coming off of them.

The other way around, people are wasted and yelling shit and totally being gregarious and insensitive to the fact that there’s a show going on.”

Basically, he sums it up saying, “If you wanna actually have fun at a show, you have to be present.”

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Leave the drugs at home. This summer I was subjected to a parade of overly wasted teens at a Skrillex show. All-ages shows are few and far between in the city, but overexcited youngsters sometimes see live music as an open invitation to get a little too crazy. If you’re nearby, look out for these kids. For those new to the game, if you’re heading down to the Skrillex show with your pals and a mickey full of Jack, watch out for your comrades. In my experience, one of the kids drank too much, and her “friends” tried to leave her at the gate when she was denied entry. Bummer. Your friendships will far outlast your love of dubstep, so stick together.

Also, even if you love weed, the people in your vicinity may not share your interest. At least alcohol you can keep to yourself, so keep

STANDING OVATIONS

GET INVOLVED

the capilano courier

“What’s annoying at a show is when people are talking over stuff, not paying attention. They’re distracted and distracting from the show,” says Hey Ocean bassist David Vertesi.

Yes, it’s impressive that you learned all of the lyrics to “Rolling in the Deep”, but you’re not at a karaoke tournament. Chances are that if you’re belting out a tune along with the artist on stage, your neighbour for the evening is going to blow a fuse on you long before the set’s over. Keep your mouth shut as much as you can. This also applies to unnecessary chatter. “Shut up,” says Ashley. “I didn't pay to hear what you think of the band.

After all, you and everyone else in the room paid good money to listen to the person on stage.”

your toking to the pre- or post-show activites, if that’s your thing. You don’t want to get some sassy snob like me up in your face for blowing a breath of unwanted second-hand skunkweed in my face. That shit just ain’t classy.

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Eric Whitacre in Vancouver THE COMPOSER CONDUCTS

8 pm Saturday, October 27, 2012 | Orpheum Theatre (Downtown) Eric Whitacre, composer and conductor | Vancouver Chamber Choir | Pacifica Singers Focus! Choir of College & University Singers | Special Whitacre Choir of Secondary School Singers Lafayette String Quartet | Stephen Smith, piano World-famous choral composer Eric Whitacre makes his first visit to Vancouver for this concert of his music, conducting the Vancouver Chamber Choir, Pacifica Singers, Lafayette String Quartet and a host of student singers and choirs for a veritable festival of choral moods and colours.

1-855-985-ARTS (2787) www.vancouverchamberchoir.com

SPORTS

SPORTS Editor ×

Sarshar Hosseinnia

× sportseditor.capcourier@gmail.com

IT'S GETTING HOT IN HERE so hold a yoga pose Katherine Gillard × Writer Fionna Morgan frequented Fitness World in the mid-‘90s, in an attempt to lose weight. “I was always a size 10, and couldn’t get a size 14 over my butt,” she recalls. But merely working out and eating healthy wasn’t cutting it and she found herself being bored and lacking enthusiasm.

In 1999 her friend developed a rash from stress and someone suggested he do Bikram yoga. After a few weeks, the release of toxins made her friend’s rash clear up. With that, she was convinced to give the yoga a try.

After doing it once, she was sold. She continued going to the gym and doing yoga, but found the gym work to be harder. “I spoke to my teacher and they suggested that I stop going to the gym and concentrate on yoga.” She began concentrating on yoga but started to gain weight. This was the result of her body building muscle and then burning off the fat.

Bikram yoga is the traditional practice of Hatha yoga from India, in which practitioners do a total of 26 postures over a 90-minute period in a heated room, a sauna-of-sorts. Many users claim it is a great stress reliever as well as an intense workout.

The results After withdrawing from the gym completely, her body began to change rapidly and she dropped

down to, she claims, a size six or eight. “With the gym your muscles break down, meaning you have to take a day off, with yoga you can practice every day because it’s therapeutic.”

Chloe Luce, a teacher from YYoga in Lynn Valley Village, says, “Some people choose a yoga class over the gym for the mind-body connection that yoga generates, for the benefits beyond the physical realm such as stress and tension relief, deeper self-knowledge and connection to life purpose, that comes with the more self-reflective nature of the practice. Also, generally in a gym you are leading yourself through a series of weight exercises and it can be hard to motivate yourself when you're alone. In a yoga class, you are led through the practice by the teacher's narrative into the body, being directed exactly how to align and what muscles to engage.”

The therapeutic aspect is an important part of Bikram yoga, specifically when considering the rash Morgan’s friend had was caused by work stress. The gym offers a good workout, but yoga provides a level of stress relief unavailable in other forms of exercise. This is important for students to consider when looking for a way to work out.

Capilano University offers a yoga club that meets on Wednesdays for a session of free yoga, which is a great opportunity for students to try out.

Capilano student Lleano O’Keefe is a fan and says, “I think that yoga is a great start to my morning and I like the calming effect it has.”

But why Bikram?

There are many types of yoga widely available in Vancouver, but Morgan argues that Bikram yoga is superior. “We call other kinds of yoga ‘cheesecake yoga’ because they’re modified to make it easier.

Bikram is the original Hatha yoga from India, it’s traditional.”

Chloe Luce adds, “Aside from the obvious strengthening and stretching benefits, the health benefits are numerous. A regular yoga practice improves posture, coordination, proprioception, balance, range of motion, and circulation. It helps to lower blood pressure and cortisol levels. It promotes lymphatic drainage that improves our immunity and cellular waste management.” She goes on, “Digestion & sleep patterns improve and it balances the nervous system. People often report being more patient, more compassionate and less reactive as they get more in tune with their emotions.”

Morgan just finished the 30 Days Challenge with the North Vancouver Bikram Yoga Studio where she teaches, which included practicing for 30 consecutive days and, while she says this was hard, the benefits were well worth it. “You put into it what you get out of it.” For Morgan it meant dropping down four pants sizes, which proves its validity as a great form of exercise.

×× KAtie SO

WRESTLING WITH PICASSO Capilano Wrestling Club has its own philosophy Sarshar Hosseinnia

Success stories

× Sports Editor

Beginnings

46 issue N o . 05

McDonald goes on to say that Canada is a progressive country and women are promoted heavily in sports (just look at the recent soccer success at London 2012), however, Canada as a whole tends to live in the shadows of the U.S., as well as Iran and Russia on the international stage.

“You’ve just put your finger on a huge debate that

Dallan Bhatti is one of those who will soon be facing the rigorous schedule of amateur wrestling, but he says if you’re that serious about your art then the path to get there is worth it. “I’ve been a wrestler for six years and I’ve given up my TV time in order to train,” he laughs. Bhatti recently placed fifth in the Pan-Am Games in Venezuela, and is one of McDonald’s top students. He is currently attending Windsor Secondary and hopes to enroll at SFU, but is not averse to pursuing a future in pro wrestling. “Most wrestlers don’t do it for the money, but for the love of the sport,” says Bhatti.

Comparisons with Pro Wrestling and MMA “Pro wrestling, first of all, is the WWE. They’re all members of the actors guild for obvious reasons,” jokes McDonald. “There is no such thing as pro wrestling in the Olympic sense in

McDonald is excited however about the affiliation of the club with Capilano University and says contact has been made with members of the athletics department about a possible merger in the near future. “It would be great to have a club start at Capilano University and it would be great to promote a next level option for the kids, to promote the sport. Let’s get something going.”

It’s obvious that McDonald appreciates the art aspect of wrestling and the nobility that comes with the sport. Looking at the athletes during each freestyle drill, there is a sense of respect amongst them and the reassurance that nobody’s going to be blindsided by a chokehold or a sucker punch. Whether this comes down to McDonald’s own teacings, or the likes of Leonardo and Picasso, remains to be seen - but you can bet that both techniques, when perfected, are cultural masterpieces.

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Wrestling with shadows

Next generation

Link-up with Cap U?

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McDonald is one of the founders at the Capilano Wrestling Club. A former wrestler himself, he began at Carson Graham Secondary, before moving onto SFU from 1975 to 1979, and then Paris. He came back to settle on the North Shore and returned to SFU where he completed a Masters degree and became the university’s assistant wrestling coach.

“We [co-founders Mo Asgari and Giulio Decotiis] created the club to coordinate the high schools during the high-school season as well as take the best wrestlers from each high-school and train them.”

“We try to give the kids a sense of perspective on what they can achieve – we’ve produced numerous provincial champions as well as national champions.” McDonald points to the wall of a newspaper article of two female athletes (Emily Richardson and Katie Taylor) who represented the Capilano Wrestling Club at the nationals, and who are among the top four in the world. When asked about the issues facing women wrestlers – highlighted in a recent documentary on the CBC called “Wrestling with Attitude” McDonald claims that women are actually more likely to succeed than the men. “Women are a success story in Canada, we actually struggle with the men. We can produce men but they’re few and far between,” he concedes. “With the women we have been very successful. The first women’s wrestling match that took place in Athens in 2004 involved a B.C. wrestler – Lindsay Belisle, now assistant coach at SFU.”

Canada … MMA, on the other hand, is where former wrestlers go to test themselves. Most of them are good athletes and make a good living from it.”

He goes on, “I have a problem with MMA … as in any sport where you win by brutalizing your opponent in a physical way, [there] is a line in the sand that I’m not prepared to cross.” the capilano courier

As Ian McDonald opens the doors to the wrestling room of the gymnasium at Balmoral Junior School in North Vancouver, it isn’t the spread of wrestling mats that catches his eye, but the dozens of art renditions of artists and philosophers that adorn the “walls of wisdom.” Rembrandt, Van Gogh and Frida Kahlo hover over the 10 or so wrestlers in a contrast that can only be explained by McDonald himself. “We will make cross-cultural references to the various art history and impressionists and relate them to the art of wrestling. Aristotle and Plato used to take their wrestling students off the mat and talk philosophy and discuss the importance of a healthy body and mind.”

begins after every Olympic games,” he admits.

“We need a wider base – more participants. And we need a longer calendar year as school semesters generally run for only four months. We need more mat time with the wrestlers.”

But it isn’t easy for the students: “At the top level all you do is eat, sleep, breathe wrestling. At SFU they train twice a day, five days a week - including Saturday mornings.” This is an issue that is not only prevalent with wrestling but all sports. “If you drop below a C average you’re automatically ineligible to represent the school. It is tough.”

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OPINIONS

Opinions Editor ×

Leah Scheitel

× o p ini o n s @ c a p i l a n o c o u r i e r . c o m

Death To Viral Videos Internet death videos breach basic human ethics Connor Thorpe × Staff Writer

×× Dave Mcansh

The video shows the carjacker abandoning the vehicle in a field - a strange place to make a run for it.

“He’s looking a little erratic, isn’t he?” Fox News anchor Shepard Smith says tentatively over the footage as the video is live. “It’s always possible the guy could be on something.”

The carjacker zig-zags through the field, disoriented. He stops suddenly, produces a pistol and commits suicide on television.

It’s a shockingly personal moment. The way the man falls is oddly anticlimactic. Watching it feels invasive. Gasps and cries of alarm are heard from inside the news studio. Even Shepard Smith seems stunned as the camera cuts to him and, in a panic, he tells producers to “Get off, get off, get off.”

“When the guy pulled over and got out of the vehicle we went on delay,” Smith explained after a brief jump to commercial. “So that we would

see in the studio what was happening five seconds before you did, so that if anything went horribly wrong we’d be able to cut away from it without subjecting you to it.”

Something did go horribly wrong, and it still managed to find its way onto the televisions of people all over the United States, and with the help of those who uploaded the footage onto the Internet, the world.

“That didn’t belong on TV,” Smith continued, in a lengthy apology to viewers. “We took every precaution we knew how to take to keep that from being on TV, and I personally apologize to you that that happened. We see a lot of things that we don’t let get to you because it’s not timeappropriate, it’s insensitive, it’s just wrong – and that was wrong.”

Unfortunately, the incident involving the carjacker – who was later identified as 33-year old Jodon Romero – is not the first of its kind.

Between 1974 and 1998, at least three suicides were televised – including those of television personality Christine Chubbuck, American politician Budd Dwyer and American healthcare protester Daniel Victor Jones. Footage of the latter two is easily found on the Internet. Even more disturbingly, the phenomenon of viral videos that contain actual footage of a person’s death is not limited to suicides.

Luka Magnotta, who has been charged with the first-degree murder of Lin Jun - a Concordia international student who has variously been identified as Magnotta’s acquaintance, lover or boyfriend – is now notorious for not only the horrific nature of his crimes, but for the fact that he videotaped them and posted the results on the

Internet. The footage featured the murder itself and continued with Magnotta’s desecration of the corpse. Authorities who doubted the authenticity of the video didn’t act until body parts were uncovered in packages that were delivered to the Conservative and Liberal Party headquarters – both in Ottawa - as well as elementary and high schools in Vancouver. By the time that Jun was identified as the man in the video, it had stayed online long enough to ensure that copies will always survive.

The relaxed attitude with which some are able to spread the footage of a person’s lonely and violent death is a symptom of a desensitized and deeply morbid culture. Even watching videos that depict suicides, murders and other terrible acts of violence is profoundly invasive and insensitive to both the victims and their families – yet so many of us ignore our better judgment and actively seek out recorded evidence of human mortality, something we all share as human beings but none of us own.

It’s possible that the culture of violence that is so often discussed on daytime television has led to the interest in these kinds of videos – that we have become desensitized to the images we consume through popular culture to the point that seeing a staged death isn’t enough to pique our curiosity.

Still, it’s not enough to justify the commoditization of a person’s death. Nothing is.

There’s a certain innate morbidity in being human that drives our fascination with death. It affects us to varying degrees – but it’s not a topic that is exclusively reserved for those that consider themselves to be morbid individuals. We all think about it, and we all have some interest in it, whether we’d like to admit it or not.

Chubbuck – the Florida television personality – preceded her actions in 1974 by claiming they were, “in keeping with Channel 40’s policy of bringing you the latest in blood and guts.” Years later, her brother would confirm that her suicide, in part, was an elaborate and very final “fuck you” to an industry and a culture that is fixated on fear mongering and death.

Since then, not much has changed. While Shepard Smith’s frantic apology may have been the death knell for televised car chases, the general content of news isn’t likely to change.

Death and negativity will still take precedent over stories with a sense of hope. Fear is what keeps people watching.

However, the standards for what is appropriate to be shown on television partially prevent overtly violent and graphic images from being exposed to the public – except, of course, in the event of an accident. Fictionalized violence on television and in films isn’t going away – and nor should it.

It’s the videos that show real human deaths that represent a huge lapse in the capacity for respect and ethical behavior in our society.

Perhaps it is the burgeoning concept that anyone can be a journalist with the utilization of social media that has led to the relentless spread of viral “snuff” videos. Perhaps it’s just a shared, innate curiosity that is a dark, but natural, part of being human. It’s hard to tell – but the bottom line is that each of us has the responsibility to decide what content is ethical for us, as a society, to consume.

For Sale: Two Virgins & OnE Bride When sex and business mingle Kelly Mackay

the capilano courier

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EBay: the modern day marketplace for absolutely anything. Unicorn meat? Got it. Haunted baby doll? Yep. Someone’s virginity? No problem.

In 2010, “Miss Spring,” a Hungarian native, decided to place her innocence up for grabs. U.K. newspaper, The Sun reported that her justification was: "My family has debts, we cannot afford to pay them.” Regardless of being removed from eBay, she continued her auction via e-mail between two unnamed competitors: an Irishman and an Englishman. Miss Spring concluded the auction by selecting a modest $430,000 from the English competitor, claiming that he was “sympathetic to my cause.”

In comparison to prostitution, this example of sex for sale seems to hold a far stronger and more legitimate reason. With the hope of paying off her debts, and potentially attending school to become a doctor, Miss Spring's cause seems to be far more acceptable than street prostitution fuelled by drug addiction. Another British news source, Orange News quoted her from an interview saying: "Since the media frenzy started, a lot of people have called me a martyr or a slut. I am neither. I am just a girl who wants to have a better future, who wants to take care of her family."

Another story that is similar to Miss Spring’s is that of 20-year-old Brazilian student, Catarina

Migliorini. Migliorini is selling her virginity to give something personal away with the intention raise money to build houses in her small, poverty- of helping others?

These situations ignite debate about what is stricken homestate of Santa Catarina. Her justification, much like Miss Spring’s, is a decision with moral, as both girls are choosing to sell their bodthe outcome of solving financial problems. In her ies at their own discretion. On the other side of the interview with São Paulo newspaper Folhar, she spectrum, a Korean real estate tycoon Cecil Chao Sze-tsung has decided explained that: that his daughter Gigi "The auction is Chao’s sexual orientajust business, I'm tion is unacceptable, a romantic girl at and is therefore offerheart and believe ing any man $63 milin love. But this lion to wed his daughwill make a big ter. difference to my An important factor area.” that plays a part in this Aren't these situation, is that she girls merely epitorecently wed her longmising the everyterm girlfriend. From day businessperan interview with the son, by seeing a ×× Lydia Fu Telegraph, her father’s problem and solving it? Sure, virginity holds significance, but the requirements are as follows: “I don’t mind whether fact that they are losing theirs and gaining chari- he is rich or poor. The important thing is that he is table money is significant. Facebook comments generous and kind-hearted." Clearly his daughter's on her page range from negative: “I believe your happiness isn't the priority in this business deal. intention is good, but I just want you to know that His description of his daughter makes her sound our Lord Jesus never used sin to make something more like a grocery list than an actual person: “Gigi good,” to supportive: “Congratulations, beautiful. is a very good woman with both talents and looks.

She is devoted to her parents, is generous and does Realise your dreams.”

Undoubtedly, this situation sparks different volunteer work.” Nowhere in his response does he opinions, but when it comes down to it what is say that she is in fact a lesbian, and therefore probmore desirable than someone who can selflessly ably doesn’t want to marry a random man. In the

Telegraph video interview, her only response was, “I wasn’t angry at all, I was really quite touched... it was really Daddy’s way of saying baby girl, you deserve more.” Perhaps she is genuinely happy about the situation, but at the same time definitely remains married.

As an architecture graduate from Manchester University in England, and an executive director at her father’s Hong Kong-based property firm, Cheuk Nang, she proves to be more than just a “volunteer.” Perhaps she is even lucky enough to hold her own personality and hopefully her very own say in the marriage situation…off the camera. The biggest question, is how exactly her father plans on marrying her off to the mystery man of 2012, when her name is already happily sitting on marriage papers. Described as a “social entrepreneur” on her Facebook page, maybe she will be able to come up with a way of being married to two people at once.

In comparison to Miss Spring and Catarina Migliorini, this story is far more controversial and morally debatable. If sex is going to be sold at all, it must be equally consented by both of the people involved. But for an entire life to be sold, and the only reason being that of Gigi Chao’s sexual preference, is completely unacceptable. Ironically enough, Mr. Chao is revealed to live a particularly “extravagant playboy lifestyle,” but of course, the occasional stripper and prostitute is far more acceptable than two lesbians loving each other.

Naturally.

Helmet Headache When the headgear becomes a head-case Carlo Javier × Writer

×× Mustaali RAj Helmets are intended to reduce impact, but may also reduce the number of bikes on the road, as the B.C. mandatory helmet law is becoming somewhat of a headache for the Vancouver bike share program.

The proposed bike share program will feature 1,500 bicycles and 125 stations installed at every 300 to 400 metres and is estimated to cost the city about $1.9 million a year. But the law forces cyclists to sport a helmet at any given time on a bike, or face a fine of up to $100 (if caught). It has been described as possibly detrimental to the goal, because it creates a challenge of providing helmets to all those who rent bikes. Most people don’t walk around with helmets on them all day, just in case they want to rent a bike, and sharing helmets brings up hygienic concerns.

To appease the law, Vancouver’s bike program wants to install 125 helmet vending machines,

one for each proposed station. Each helmet will be steam cleaned after every use, to ease the concern of sanitation and cleanliness of sharing helmets with strangers.

But many people still think that helmet laws discourage commuters from cycling more often.

Vancouver’s deputy city manager, Sadhu Johnston told the Globe and Mail, “We do need to recognize that the helmet requirement may deter some people from riding. In that case, we definitely will expect the vendor to take a potentially decreased ridership into account when they’re developing their business plan that we will review and present before council before we sign a contract.”

The mandatory helmet law is under the dominion of the Motor Vehicle Act, which was implemented in 1996. At that time, American studies presented that helmets help decrease the risks of head injuries by 85 per cent, and this safety-

driven reason is the primary argument from helmet supporters.

According to the B.C. Coroner Service, 49 cyclists have died involving motor vehicles within the past five years. 70.4 per cent of the deceased weren’t wearing helmets, which is telling that helmets do assist in saving lives, but this doesn’t include other possible causes such as black ice or loose gravel.

Proponents argue that helmets promote safety and reduce risks of brain injury through crash or collision. When adding concerns about biking infrastructure into the conversation, talks of helmet safety start to seem flawed and stats start to become misleading. Erin O’Melinn of HUB, a non-profit, Vancouver based biking organization, told the Star that the province-wide mandatory helmet law is mostly discouraging riders. “The focus should be on improving infrastructure and educating drivers instead of ticketing adults who choose not to wear a helmet,” she said.

When looking at other places with successful bike share programs, it’s apparent that the effect of a mandatory helmet law mostly decreases the number of cyclists.

According to survey reported through The Globe and Mail, upon the implementation of a mandatory helmet law in Australian states, cycling rates decreased, though no data is presented for whether or not the drop persisted.

On the other hand, when taking note of further improving bike lanes, stats become more promising. Copenhagen has been constantly been named the “number one cycling city in the world,” by sites such as BBC Travel and Travel and Leisure.

The Danish city doesn’t have mandatory helmet laws and also boasts a bicycle super highway throughout the city. According to the city’s tourism website, about 36 per cent of the population bikes on a daily basis, and the city is on track to reach 50 per cent by 2015.

To cyclists, the mandatory helmet law is breaching the case of individual responsibility. “We need

to bring the responsibility back to the individual who is riding the bike,” B.C. Liberal Party Policy Chair Ted Dixon told the Province. “My personal view is [that] the individual is best able to assess the risk.”

Yet, despite the helmet debate, Johnston is confident that Vancouver’s infrastructure and culture will be enough to pedal the program to success.

“We’ve got separated bike lanes, we’ve got a lot of seawall, and just great bike infrastructure. And we’ve got a really significant bike culture here, and our weather is moderate enough that you can ride year-round … Overall, we’re really enthusiastic about the opportunity the public bike share presents in helping us achieve our sustainable transportation plan,” Johnston told the Globe and Mail.

Helmets are designed specifically for the safety of the cyclist, but there are too many other factors that can be involved when calculating risks of injuries on a bicycle; infrastructure, traffic, experience and skill of a cyclist would all play a part.

There are times when having guidelines becomes more effective than laws, as in the case of cigarettes. There are no laws prohibiting the use of cigarettes for adults, but there are ads that educate the society of the hazards of smoking, and some of the ads are very grotesque and gruesome. Similarly, using helmets should be a recommendation, not an enforced law. Think of the creative ad campaigns that could be invented to convince people to wear brain buckets: blood, guts, and helmets.

A graphic advertisement depicting how gruesome a crash scene without a helmet is may be more effect ivethan a $100 fine.

CAp Creeper

I think it should just be a guideline. Why would you bother enforcing it? The only person they’re going to be hurting is themselves. If they don’t wear a helmet and they crash into somebody, they’re not going to hurt somebody else, they’re only risking their own lives, so I don’t see why it should be a problem whether or not they decide to not wear a helmet.

-Geoff Kendrick

It should be a law. Save lives.

-Luke Ogmundson

It is technically enforced but it’s not really at the same time. I think it’s really important to wear helmets. I know someone that has seriously mental disabilities from hitting a telephone pole. And knowing him before and after – I wear my helmet everyday.

-Mare Struvé

I think it’s a scary thought to even go get on a bike without a helmet, just because you’re so reliant not just on your ability but of all the people’s around you. I mountain bike, and I would never jump on my mountain bike without a helmet and I would never even think to jump on a road bike or any other type of bike without a helmet.

-Annie Millar

×

In psychology, we actually went over how bad those head injuries can be. I think there is a reason, especially if you’re going into traffic and crossing highways. I saw a dude on they highway [helmetless] and you’d probably want at least a helmet if you’re doing that.

-Jake Johnson

the capilano courier

Question:: Do you think a mandatory helmet law is a good idea, or should it be more of a “strong guideline?”

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the caboose

caboose Editor ×

Scott Moraes

× caboose.capcourier@gmail.com

Shot gun reviews

HOMAGE TO LIGHTFOOT Scott Moraes

DIFFERENCES Carlo Javier

DRESSAGE Stefan Tosheff

BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG Lauren Gargiulo

I was born in the 90s, but grew up with old records. I alienated a lot of friends when as a teen I decided to listen to Elvis Costello and Van Morrison instead of Linkin Park. Then I became a singer/songwriter out of touch with the times, but old folks liked me. Since then, I've tried to modernize my taste, with some success. But lately, I've been exhausted by the fruitless search for quality in modern noiseland (Fiona Apple's record is damn good, but this ain't about her, is it?) I find myself repeatedly listening to the same records over and over again: Gordon Lightfoot's late ’60s albums. It will suffice to say: With his 12-string folk guitar and songs so simple and memorable, Lightfoot is a Canadian genius and you as a young Canadian should at least look him up. If you don't like him, you're probably normal. If you do, let's hang out and sing for old dudes. They buy you lots of beers.

It’s my first year as a university student, and by this time, I’ve gotten quite a clear idea on what really is the most profound difference between high school and university. It’s not the jump from puny little 500-word “essays” to 2200-word papers. It’s not having the wonderful liberty to simply walk out of class, without having to raise my hand and ask for permission, thus instantly syphoning the class’ divided attention to me. Nor is it the sudden “realness” that accountability has become. It’s not even the fact that forks and other utensils are free in the cafeteria. No, far from it. By far the biggest difference I’ve noticed between high school and university is the lack of staplers in most classrooms.

As a matter of fact, six weeks in and I haven’t seen a single stapler yet. Receiving un-hole-punched handouts come as a very close second. This must be what accountability really means.

The only thing that could truly show how far we go to show our complete dominance over another species is dressage. It’s not bad enough that we use this animal for transport and glue; the only thing that could be more humiliating to this poor creature is wearing their genitals as a hat. Dressage, my friends, is the Olympic sport of horse dancing. Now, hear me out, the reason why I think it is so humiliating is because the horses get no credit and no reward for their awesome dancing. As for the riders, they get all the medals. The riders literally don’t do anything; they simply go out and buy the best-trained horse, and then just sit on it while it dances.

Humanity, we need to start giving animals more artistic credit. Or start wearing horse dicks as hats. Choices, choices…

I love you Green Day, really I do, and I was bummed to hear that your I Heart Radio set was cut in half because of Usher. But, really?

Who wants to see an aging rocker work “fuck” into every sentence for 45 minutes? How many times did “fuck” really need to be worked into your vocabulary? Pretty sure everyone got your point after you stopped playing “Basket Case” halfway through to play a new song, and then proceeded to rant about having four minutes left. And if they didn’t get that you were pissed off then, they certainly did when you screamed, “I’m not fucking Justin Bieber, you mother fuckers!” There comes a time when, even though you’ve been around since “19 fucking 88” you have to realize that it’s not the ‘80s anymore and smashing guitars is pointless. Next time, auction it off and donate the proceeds to charity. You’re into helping the environment, are you not? Help the music environment by focusing on the music and not the set time.

Letters from the ghost of Arthur Rimbaud Sarshar Hosseinnia

24 May 1891

2 June 1891

It has been six days since your letter arrived on my counter and, frankly, I’ve been too busy to respond. My wonderful Sebastien Letinois has been pampering me madly, unlike you, fiend. I am saddened by your illness but must you always talk about yourself? I swear you’re the neediest person on this planet. “Oh, I’m ill, I’m in love, I’ve got gangrene.” Get a grip, man. In any case, you’ve been replaced. Sebbie has much more youth than your decrepit 37 years of age and boasts the talent of being able to recite Sagesse in Glossolalia and inspired me to turn La Bonne Chanson into a song cycle. And what have you amassed in your nigh–four decades? You created a mere illusion of yourself as an enfant terrible and have thus far failed to live up to your self-professed flimflam.

Poesies is heralded as the century’s revolutionary war cry, but the best poem in there is Le Bateau Ivre and that is socially inconsequential at best! I must leave you now. Letinois, or “Lucien” as you so disparagingly call him, bought me two tickets to L’Amico Fritz and afterwards we will be frequenting the Café des Arts, where we will be indulging in the consumption of absinth and hashish. Enjoy whatever you’ll be doing in Indonesia - oh right, you’re dying. Well, it’ll be over soon, so don’t feel too bad.

You rat bastard, I’ll kill you...You insult me and do so using the same signature font that I taught youyou’ll burn in hell for this, you and that Lucien.

I mustered the strength to go to Starbucks today and order a pumpkin-spiced latte, only the barrister informed me that pumpkin season was over, and in any case they were out of pumpkins. But he did offer me a spice found only in the pituitary gland of “Java Man.” After eight excruciating hours of gnawing at my own hand, which – due to the effects of the spice – appeared to be Neil Patrick Harris saying he was “gay for me”, I noticed that the gangrene had turned a healthy Taylor Swift.

At first I thought this was the last thing a dying person sees but I suddenly got feeling back in my whole body.

I’ll be leaving these vicious jungles for the relatively safe haven of Neverland Ranch soon and will leave you with the words you left me in our last correspondence. You’re going to die. It’ll be over soon so don’t feel too bad. No, seriously you’re going to die – you and that puerile Lucien. Who do you think taught him how to recite <agesse in Glossolalia? I also taught him the art of lovemaking days before I was diagnosed - which is what will kill him… and you. Perhaps you can both recite Le Bateau Ivre as you rot to death and you will know I am the tEnfant Terrible when I lay my vengeance upon you.

Oh and by the way, Starbucks are out of “spices”, although I do hear they serve a delicious humble pie.

Arthur

× Sports Editor 13 May 1891

the capilano courier

×

volume

46 issue N o . 5

Dear Paul,

20

It has finally happened - the syphilis I contracted from the needle you gave me has turned to gangrene, and I will be dead within days, if not hours. And where are you my faithful Verlaine - sodomizing a minor while soiling the good name of prose? The same prose I helped build into this generation’s next channel of communication! Well, when you’ve finished gushing over him, take a minute to think of your old lover, expiring slower than Germanstyle pumpernickel rye bread in this godforsaken jungle.

Well, I suppose it's time I finally told you why I ran away and not toward you: the pain of knowing that you will never be mine finally set in, and I fled to Indonesia in the search of peyote and a new onomatopoeic sound found only on the epiglottis of a human tongue. I would have tweeted you the news, but those vicious swines from the Dutch East Indies Army stole my electrical telegraph. I need you terribly.

×× Susan li

Yours truly, Your loving seer, Paul Verlaine Arthur