Valley Bride - February 2010

valleybride 2010

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valleybride 2010

2010

valleybride Editor

Christina Toth

contents

18

Fred Armstrong Chilliwack

Nick Bastaja

Unique options to infuse a wedding with a bride’s individual style.

Margi Jarvis

Production FOREMAN

Neil Wilson

38 PROPOSING

Advertising DESIGN Abbotsford

Do’s and what you should never do.

Marilyn Howard Mona Heppner

42 THE HAIR

Chilliwack

Michelle Greenwood

Administration

Gail Hillis

Credit Manager

Helen Larson

Advertising co-ordinatorS Abbotsford

Louise Parsons Chilliwack

Tara Goodkey-Chapman Valleybride Magazine is published by Lower Mainland Publishing Group, a division of CanWest Publications Inc. Enquiries can be addressed to: Valleybride Magazine 30887 Peardonville Road, Abbotsford, BC, V2T 6K2 Phone: Abbotsford

604-854-5244 Chilliwack

604-792-9117

cover photo by Level 6 Images special thanks to Cristal at Level 6 Images for supplying photos for Valleybride

30 ATTIRE FOR MOTHER OF BRIDE

34 WEDDING TRENDS

Art Director

Bruce MacLennan Karin Swain Lesli McNabb Jeff Warren Brian Rumsey Andrea Weiman Marni de Boer

For the romantic, get started here.

Elegant and understated are typically the choice for mothers of the bride/groom – some points to keep in mind for your child’s big day.

PUBLISHERS Abbotsford

Advertising CONSULTANTS

28 WEDDING VOWS

features 3 THE BRIDAL GOWN Choosing a wedding dress that flatters – some tips to help you fit your body type and personality.

8 THE FLOWERS

Some tips to help you get the look you love.

44 BEACH WEDDINGS The benefits of a seaside ceremony.

50 A WEDDING PLANNER Take the stress out your wedding with Get-Hitched.

From the bouquet to flowers for special guests, we have it covered here.

54 a second marriage

10 A GROOM’S STORY

56 GAMES

One groom’s point of view.

More and more weddings have at least one game to entertain guests.

14 WEDDING PARTY DUTIES

Don’t be suprised – the rules have changed.

There’s more to it than simply enjoying a celebratory drink with the new bride and groom.

59 THE CHECKLIST

16 THE PHOTOGRAPHS

60 INDEX

Consider a pro – don’t leave this to a friend.

18 Jewelry Pearls and crystal can give today’s bride a look from mod to victorian.

20 ACCESSORIES From incorporating family heirlooms to contemporary styles, we outline the trends for you.

24 THE CAKE Often wedding desserts are as varied as the couples themselves.

Tick off the boxes as you complete wedding tasks.

3

dress that fi ts

C

ongratulations! It’s time to look for a

wedding dress. The most important part of the wedding planning process is to fi nd the perfect gown. Make sure that you choose a dress that fi ts your body type and accentuates the very best parts of your body. The key to choosing the perfect wedding dress is not to fall in love with a style but to choose a style that is the most fl attering to your fi gure.

PHoto LEvEL 6 iMAgES

He bought it from Thomas!

Oh my, it’s a ring from Thomas!

He bought a ring from Thomas!

The full-figured bride The best style for this body type is an A-line style. This particular style lengthens your whole body without drawing attention to your waistline.

Choosing a dress with an empire waist is also best for this body type because it is narrow right below the bust, which will help conceal the hips and waist.

The large-busted bride Off-the-shoulder wedding gowns work best with this body type as it draws attention upward. Full skirts are not a good choice on this body type as they will make a bride look large and bottom heavy.

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The bottom-heavy bride This body type looks best in dresses that bring attention to the upper body. Showing off the arms, back and neckline help draw attention away from the hips. Pleats and gathered fabric around the waist area is a big no-no. Corset-style dresses accentuate this body type and highlight the upper body. A-lines also look good on this body type.

The petite bride The best styles for this body type are A-line and cap sleeve dresses. Stay away from sheaths which shorten the body. Strapless gowns also shorten the body, particularly if the groom is much taller than you, and very full skirts which will make the bride appear bottom heavy. A-line styles help to lengthen the body and cap sleeve gowns work best while giving the impression of a strapless gown.

Steps to success . . .

Consult with a bridal consultant to get good choices of wedding dresses for your body type.

They are trained professionals. see wedding dress page 26

6 valleybride 010

Thomas attends more weddings than ever!

We have one of the largest selections in B.C. of wedding, engagement and anniversary rings.

Goldsmiths and designers on location.

Voted #1 Jewellery store in the Valley.

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heart beat

Mission has a new

Oasis Spa, Mission Calla Lilies Florists and The Cake Lady have teamed up with The Dam Store featuring Dam Pretty Things Boutique to make your wedding celebration gorgeously successful.

Oasis Spa services will lavish your bridal party in that once in a lifetime feeling of pure pampering to calm and ready you for taking the next step of your life. Exceptional packages available. Contact: Teresa Yu 604.462.7780 info@oasis-retreat.com

Mission Calla Lilies florists provide superior service and quality to fragrantly beautify the first of many important days of your life. We can take care of your wedding favours as well as custom or hand-made greeting/invitation cards.

Contact: Francis or Guy 604.826.2028 www.callalilyworld.com

The Cake Lady promises to delight your senses with mouthwatering cakes which look too good to eat. Your wedding cake should reflect your style and nobody does that better than The Cake Lady. You might choose to custom design your cake or have our caketress craft and create something for you.

Either way you will be one step closer to your perfect day. Contact: Deanna Marie Fellows 604.814.2967 The Dam Store featuring Dam Pretty Things Boutique will take the worry away by planning, catering and decorating your beautiful wedding. Come and see our urban lounge style banquet space.

We are located in scenic Stave Lake area surrounded by Hayward Lake and Stave Lake, Whonnock Lake and Rolley Lake.

Endless photo opportunities. We host pre-wedding, wedding and post wedding functions at a price you cannot ignore. Our boutique is the perfect place to get bridal jewellery for your entire party as well all those bridal party gifts and keepsakes. We are urban appeal in the country. Call us today.

Contact: Donna or Karen 604.462.9800 www.damprettythings.com

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Floral411 for the big day

L

eading up to their big day, couples have lots to worry about before they finally get to walk down the aisle as husband and wife. The task of planning a wedding is full of hundreds of details – even the most minor details must be accounted for.

Such is the case with the floral arrangements. Though not a minor aspect in any way, preparing a wedding day floral arrangement does have its minor details, particularly when it comes to the more individual aspects of a floral plan. For instance, the following components must be considered when devising a floral plan.

The bridal bouquet.

It’s tradition for bridal bouquets to contain white or cream-coloured flowers such as stephanotis, roses, orchids or lilies. Many bridal bouquets also include fillers like baby’s breath as well as some green or ivy, as well as ribbons or additonal accessories.

Bouquets for attendants.

Attendants’ bouquets should be identical, and it’s best to coordinate these bouquets with the attendants’ gowns. Only the maid of honour traditionally receives a

slightly different bouquet, as it’s customary to give her one that stands apart from the rest, though not significantly so.

Boutonnieres for groomsmen and ushers.

The guy’s side of the wedding also needs to take part in the floral plan. Worn in a buttonhole or lapel, a boutonniere should be worn on the left lapel and match a flower from the bridesmaids’ bouquet. The groom should also wear a boutonniere, though his should match a flower from the bride’s bouquet. When wearing boutonnieres, men should not wear other accessories such as pocket squares.

Flowers for special guests.

Certain special guests, such as mothers and grandmothers, should receive corsages. While the corsages do not need to be identical, they should match the bridesmaids’ bouquets. It’s best to consult with a florist for a corsage colour that matches all dresses, as typically the corsages must be ordered before the bride and groom know what their mothers, grandmothers and other special guests will be wearing. A corsage that goes with anything, therefore, is ideal. n PHOTO LEVEL 6 IMAGES

valleybride 2010

A Groom’s Story Fred Armstrong Publisher

I

’ve been married a couple of times, and in the interests of getting a bit of gender equality in Valleybride, I agreed to share my experiences about my first marriage in the hopes that our predominantly female audience will be able to convince their future husband to be to read this to learn a few things that will make your special day less stressful.

My first wedding was an

10 valleybride 010

elopement of sorts. My fi rst wife had been married before, and wasn’t that keen about a big ceremony (which she already had). One day she decided that we should tie the knot and announced that she’d like to get married in Hawaii, with a civil ceremony and her parents as our witnesses. The agreement was that this would be a ‘casual’ wedding – no fuss, no tux, no wedding dress and no detailed planning. From a guy perspective, that was a huge bonus.

We checked with a lawyer and found out all the legal things that are required, and made all the appointments for the marriage certifi cate and the judge to perform the wedding. Her parents had arranged a vacation in Hawaii, and

PHoto LEvEL 6 iMAgES

we were going to join them after Christmas and tell them about the wedding when we arrived. The plan was made.

We arrived in Hawaii and checked into our accommodation in Maui on the northwest side of the island. My bride-to be could barely contain herself and before we unpacked she sprung the news on them. They were delighted – hugs and congratulations all around. The civil ceremony was set for two days later.

That night at dinner the plan for a casual no-fuss wedding started to take a turn. The future motherin-law was concerned that her daughter should have a nice Hawaiian-style dress and some flowers for the ceremony. I didn’t realize what was in store.

The next day the four of us, bride-to-be, motherin-law to-be and fatherin-law to-be, set off on what would become an epic

hunt for the ‘perfect dress.’

We started at the shops geographically closest to our accommodation and worked our way south to Lahaina.

S h o p a f t e r s h o p o f colourful Hawaiian-style dresses were viewed, rated and some even tried on. The perfect dress was elusive. We stopped for lunch and reviewed the situation. The women were feeling tremendous pressure to fi nd ‘the dress’ and we males needed to give our opinion, so we couldn’t ditch the females to shop for books or gadgets.

After lunch the shopping continued. No store was left unvisited. The hunt took us to dinner, and now the pressure was at a fever pitch. My patience was waning, and after dinner we continued from shop to shop. Somewhere along the way, late in the day, I lost it and told my fatherin-law to be that this was madness. The specifi c goal was to have a casual and stress free wedding, and here we were shopping for ‘the dress’ the day b e f o r e t h e ceremony.

I

implored him to intervene with his wife, who was a harsh critic of most of the selections, almost all of which seemed fi ne to me.

He looked at me, put his arm around my shoulder and said ‘son, you better get used to it.’ I looked into his eyes and drew on the strength and patience of his close to 40 years of marriage experience and we both burst out laughing.

Whether it was luck, or their radar picking up on my tension, miraculously ‘the dress’ was located. All that stood between me and wedded bliss was a good night’s sleep.

The next day we woke up, and she put on ‘the dress’ and I some shorts and an appropriately Hawaiian patterned shirt that would allow me to blend into the local botanical gardens with ease. We had breakfast and went to the place to get the licence.

The place to get the marriage certificate was a residence occupied by a lovely, and very old, Japanese-American woman who issued the licences and documents you needed before the judge could do the ceremony. I think her name was Mrs. Hasagawa, and she had to be 70 if she was a day.

S h e h a d a n o l d

manual typewriter (not an IBM Selectric) that the father-in-law to be (he was in his 60s) thought was marvelous as he had one too, in working order. The marriage certifi cate has to be perfect, and as she began typing the certifi cate it was apparent that she was not a ‘speed’ typist, and that the form required a lot of jockeying of the form to hit the blank spaces.

The ‘clack-clack-clack’ of the arms hitting the ribbon was excruciatingly slow, and the chit-chat between all of us meant we were pressed for time. She was fascinating. Her husband h a d b e e n a s u p e r i o r court judge and his faded picture hung in her offi ce.

He had passed away, but it was clear that they had had an interesting life and dealt with many issues as Japanese-Americans in the place where America entered WWII. About halfway through the certifi cate she made an error and ‘zzzzziiiiiippp’ had to pull it out and start again. My stress level started to rise as we both carefully spelled our names again. Eventually, she got the form right, we paid our money and headed to the courthouse to seek out the judge who would do the ceremony.

A quick stop at the grocery store flower shop and then we made it to the courthouse with a few minutes to spare. The receptionist directed us to a courtroom where our judge was fi nishing a sentencing hearing. We sat at the back of the courtroom and watched some fellow get sentenced to a couple of valleybride 010 11

years in jail for either drug possession or trafficking. It was a bit jarring, and the judge seemed angry.

As the prisoner was led away to a side door, his demeanor changed and the judge instructed us to come to his chambers. His office was covered with the requisite certificates detailing his education and qualifications, but my eye was caught by an impressive collection of baseball memorabilia.

The soon-to-be fatherin-law and I engaged the judge in conversation and were regaled with tales of his love of the game and involvement, as well as stories about the significance of this collection. Now the ladies were exasperated.

The judge performed

the civil ceremony and his assistant took some pictures for us and we left the courthouse married and seeking a late lunch. The rest of the trip was fun.

We spotted country singer Randy Travis at a jewelry store and French film director Francois Truffaut playing chess while we brunched at the Kapalua resort.

Now, dear reader, what did I take away from this experience? Here’s my summary of things that I learned the hard way.

First, even with the bestlaid plans, things will go a bit sideways. Be flexible and don’t sweat the small stuff. The search for ‘the dress,’ in retrospect, was hilarious and a bonding moment for the father-inlaw and myself. Approach

the day with humour and a sense of adventure.

Second, do your homework. Even though the certificate process was arduous (and again, funny in retrospect), we knew all the paper work and forms we needed to pull this off due to doing some homework. Preparation is important. We would not have been able to get

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married if we didn’t have records of vaccinations, the correct ID and know the forms and permits we needed to get.

Third, remember guys, it’s the bride’s day. Sure, we’re supposed to be equal partners in the relationship, but the reality is that weddings are for the bride. Whether it’s a big family affair or the kind

of wedding described here, the day will be measured by how happy the bride is at the end of the day.

Fourth, be involved in the planning to the extent that your mother, mother-in-law, bride-to-be and her close circle of friends will allow. Hopefully, you’ll only do this once, so make tasteful choices and make sure that your friends take everything seriously. Prepare your speeches and make sure you check out what your friends are going to say. A bit of preparation will ease the nerves and allow things to go smoothly.

Finally, have fun. Enjoy yourself and get some trusted friends to step up and help you deal with the little things that pop up so you can focus on each other. Think of the wedding as a movie. You’re the star, don’t try to both direct and star in your special day – it won’t work. Get your close friends and family to be the ‘point person’ for specific parts of the day.

My second wedding was a grand affair.

The tuxedos, beautiful flowers, reception and catering at a fine hotel, a surprise meeting with the Neville Brothers in the elevator on the way to the ceremony, the German polka band the father-in-law booked, the ‘first dance’ song of Anne Murray’s ‘Can I have this dance’ sung with a thick German accent with a polka tempo, and trying to figure out the reception line order as both our mothers were divorced from both our fathers, and the fathers were remarried . . . maybe I’ll tell that story next year.

Enjoy your special day. I did, and I have great memories and stories to share with family and friends! I suspect that if you are reading this, you have lots of planning and choices to make.

Enjoy the process and have a great wedding! n PHOTO LEVEL 6 IMAGES

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Responsibilities of the

WEDDING PARTY Wedding party participants have more responsbilities than simply enjoying a celebratory drink with the new bride or groom.

A

s weddings have become less regimented and more expensive, the traditional bridal party is often pared down to

a best man and a bridesmaid or two.

Their roles, however, have remained constant through the years.

Whether the wedding you’ve got

in mind is large or small, formal or casual, conventional or original, it’s helpful to have a sense of the roles that bridal party members play.

Let us help you create one of the most important days of your life.

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Choose from four different rooms accommodating a gala affair for 300 or a corporate boardroom meeting for 8. We have a 2000 square foot patio to hold wedding ceremonies or great for BBQ’s after your golf tournament. All looking out at our famous 18th hold stone bridges. Our world-class facility and beautifully landscaped grounds offers a fabulous backdrop for any event. The food and beverage team can create menus to suit every need. Weddings, Golf Tournaments, Corporate Seminars, Christmas parties... we can assit you with it all!

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Maid of honour – Usually the closest friend of the bride and sometimes a relative. A married, divorced, widowed, or older woman might be called the matron of honour. She assists with the details of the wedding plans, like shopping for the bridal gown, addressing invitations and choosing fl owers. She arranges the bridal shower in conjunction with the bride’s family, is in charge of co-ordinating the bridesmaids and organizing fi ttings, and typically signs the couple’s certifi cate of marriage or wedding licence as a legal witness.

At the reception, she should stand immediately after the groom in the receiving line.

Best man – Commonly the groom’s best friend, relative or not, is in charge of instructing the ushers and coordinating the groom’s transportation to the ceremony. He usually holds the rings until the ceremony and will also sign the marriage certifi cate as a legal witness. At the reception, he holds a place of honour, escorting the maid of honour in the receiving line and in all other wedding party activities. He’s also the toastmaster, offering the fi rst toast to the couple.

Bridesmaids and ushers –

Typically friends or relatives of the bride, bridesmaids may be asked to co-ordinate special details during the ceremony preparations or at the reception, and assist the bride and the maid of honour. Ushers (sometimes also known as groomsmen) should be prepared for an early arrival at the ceremony to escort female guests to their seats. During the ceremony, they will escort the bridesmaids down the aisle.

They may also be asked to co-ordinate the guests’ trip from the ceremony to the reception as well as assist the groom and the best man.

Flower girl and ring bearer – The flower girl

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carries a basket of flower petals to sprinkle down the aisle, or fl owers to be passed out to the women seated near the aisle. The ring bearer may either escort the fl ower girl down the aisle, or follow her, with the rings on a pillow.

Father of the bride - His most conspicuous duty is giving away the bride at the ceremony. He might also fulfill numerous rolls, such as coordinating transportation, dancing and toasting.

Traditionally, he and the mother of the bride have paid for the wedding and reception but today it is common for expenses to be shared by both families, along with the bride and groom themselves. n PHoto LEvEL 6 iMAgES

Silk & White Satin www.silkandwhitesatin.com silkandwhitesatin@yahoo.ca 604-858-2758 #205-7592 Vedder Road, Chilliwack, BC V2R 5V9 (next to Canadian Tire) valleybride 010 15

Don’t skimp on your

wedding

photography Jean Konda-Witte Photojournalist

A

PHOTO JEAN KONDA-WITTE

YOUR

Trendsetting FLORIST

s a photojournalist for more than three decades, I’ve photographed my share of weddings, among other things. I’m always amazed at the level of planning by the bridal couple, who, in most cases, have just about every detail covered, from the music and flowers, to the menu and seating arrangements for the reception.

But oftentimes and much to my dismay, I discover many bridal couples have not put as much thought, or their budget, into the photography for their big day.

“My cousin knows how to take pictures,” or “my friend has a good digital camera,” are phrases I have heard all too frequently, and I shudder (no pun intended) when I think how the wedding photos will most likely turn out.

Equating memorable wedding photography with having a good digital camera is about the same as putting a classical

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16 valleybride 2010

PHOTO JEAN KONDA-WITTE

guitar in my hands and expecting me to play like Segovia. It just won’t happen.

I also find it curious that many bridal couples make the decision to skimp on photography, when those photos, those memories, are all that will be left to tangibly hold in their hands, long after the last glass of champagne has been drunk and the flowers have wilted and died.

If you want to have those memories that last a lifetime, hiring a professional photographer is the only way to go. And it doesn’t necessarily have to ‘break the bank.’

These days wedding photographers have a variety of prices, which vary depending on the services they offer. Many break it down according to the number of hours of shooting time (i.e. just the ceremony, pre-wedding prep of the bride, the entire wedding and reception etc.). Most photographers

put together packages of the services offered, including whether they supply finished prints, albums, photo books or offer the original digital files on a CD or DVD. It is very easy to compare prices and view samples of photographer’s work on the Internet, so you can narrow the search before setting up an appointment.

But of course, price isn’t everything. When choosing a photographer, it’s important to hire one that the bridal couple is comfortable with, so the photographer can get the requisite photos while still making the day fun and stress free for everyone.

Many brides like the idea of a photojournalistic wedding, capturing those spontaneous unchoreographed moments filled with emotion. However, others prefer the more formal approach, see photography page 23

valleybride 2010 17

Pearl and Crystal

Jewelry Lights Up any Bridal Style

The elegance of pearls and the shimmer of crystal provide today’s bride with perfect jewelry options for any look from mod to Victorian.

T

he elegance of pearls and the shimmer of crystal provide today’s bride with perfect jewelry options for any look from mod to Victorian. “Pearls have long been the jewelry of choice for brides,” says Jill Maier, Vice President of Design for CAROLEE. “Since pearls and brides comprise a large part of our business, we are constantly updating our designs to satisfy the tastes of today’s brides and bridal parties. White crystal, alone or with pearls, adds sparkle that makes a bride look even more luminous.”

The trend in bridal gowns is toward strapless and bare shoulder styles, creating the perfect canvas for a statement necklace and earrings. Multi-strand and Ynecklace silhouettes in pearl and crystal are a popular choice. These necklace designs can be paired with simple button or drop earrings.

“Some brides choose to make a statement with dramatic chandelier earrings alone,” Ms. Maier adds. “We have enhanced our selection of statement earrings with many ornate and high-drama styles with lots of movement and sparkle. In this scenario adding a statement bracelet is a good choice.”

While bridesmaids’ jewelry should be different from the bride’s, it should harmonize in color and materials. If the bride is wearing pearls, her bridesmaids’ pearls might 18 valleybride 2010

be bigger or layered. For crystal styles the attendants’ jewelry might be bolder to complement the simple lines of their dresses.

To learn more about putting together your own personal bridal jewelry look, go to www.carolee.com. See photos and real life bridal jewelry stories at The Carolee Bridal Circle Photo Gallery. After your wedding, you can join The Circle and share your own story and photos. n PHOTOS LEVEL 6 IMAGES

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Accessory Essentials

for Brides and Bridesmaids

W

hen it comes to weddings, much is made of the bride’s wedding g o w n . Ty p i c a l l y the end product of a n e x h a u s t i n g y e t enjoyable search, a bride’s wedding gown is, along with the bride herself, often the focal point of the day.

As central as the wedding dress is, brides also know their look is never complete without the right accessories.

Arguably the most important accessory, aside from the groom, is the jewelry the bride and her bridesmaids will be wearing on the big day.

According to Amy Yankelevitz, designer and founder of Hazel & Harlow Jewelry, how the bride selects the accessories and jewelry pieces for herself and her bridesmaid can be one of the most important, and very p e r s o n a l d e c i s i o n s for her special day.

Incorporating family heirlooms, favorite k e e p s a k e s a n d contemporary styles can be complicated. ( A m y b e l i e v e s i n c h o o s i n g d e l i c a t e

0 valleybride 010

pendants, earrings and even bracelets.) Always remember the focus is on the bride’s face and neckline so keep your jewelry selections to just one or two special items.

“A signature pair of earrings highlights the bride’s hair and n e c k l i n e w i t h o u t c o m p e t i n g w i t h t h e d r e s s , ” s a y s Yankelevitz.

B e c a u s e m a n y brides recognize the importance of jewelry when creating their b r i d a l e n s e m b l e , Yankelevitz offers the following jewelry tips for brides on their big day. l M a t c h j e w e l r y with your gown. No two brides are ever the same, but there are similarities between wedding gowns and certain jewelry that goes well with each type of gown. For example, the type of necklace a bride chooses will depend on the neckline of her gown.

When the bride is interested in matching a piece of jewelry with her wedding dress, we believe the lines

and flow of the dress are the defining accents to consider. If the bride has chosen a vintage, lacy gown, then something antique, or beaded and chandelier style is beautiful.

For a more clean, modern and linear style dress, a simple charm or statement piece is ideal to enhance the wedding gown or dress without taking away from the complete ensemble. l Consider a splash of colour. Today’s brides aren’t solely hoping to look elegant and demure. They’re also hoping to attract attention.

And nothing helps to do just that more than some colourful jewelry to complement your white wedding gown.

Coloured gems and even yellow diamonds are a

growing trend among brides. l Go green. Perhaps no trend is more popular or hot button than the go green movement. As a result, many brides are showcasing their environmental side and embracing a growing trend among bridal jewelry, namely the choice of nature-inspired jewelry that includes themes such as flowers, butterflies, leaves and rosettes.

Organic and feminine styles of vintage Paris, with unique birds, floral motifs, animal and leafy carvings and filigrees evoke a mood and feeling of nature. The growing interest in the collections of more floral-inspired pieces is a true testament to the bride’s desire to incorporate classic themes into her memorable day. n PHOTOS LEVEL 6 IMAGES

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Everlasting

continued from Page17 with photos documenting each important moment and everyone looking their best in formal group photos.

A compromise, with the right photographer, is a combination of the two; formal photos along with spontaneous, ‘behind the scenes’ moments.

In planning your photo coverage, also plan enough time after the ceremony when the photographer can be alone with the bridal couple to do a variety of portraits in different locations. Anywhere from

45 minutes to two hours will suffice, depending on the venue and travelling time between locations.

To ensure you have that priceless keepsake that will last a lifetime, it’s best to plan, budget and hire a professional who is able to take the perfect photographs that will capture every moment of your special day. n

Memories

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MODERN CONFECTIONS

enhance weddings

T

radition states t h a t w e d d i n g c a k e s a r e t o b e t i e r e d masterpieces featuring white cake and white frosting. However, today’s modern couples are going in decidedly different d i r e c t i o n s w i t h t h e i r wedding cakes. Often the dessert is as varied and unique as the couple themselves.

Wedding cakes can be created to match couples’ individual styles and tastes, as well as the colour scheme of the wedding. Shapes and sizes can be mixed and matched depending upon what the bride and groom envision. Working closely with a skilled cake artist can yield a truly exceptional confection.

Here are some ideas for embellishing wedding cakes and making them mirror the personality of the wedding. l Consider a different shape other than standard round or square tiers. How about something that ties into your theme, such as a seashell or a sandcastle for a beachside wedding? l T h e r e a r e m a n y decorating styles available and you may not have to go with the traditional buttercream icing. Rolled fondant can be cut and 4 valleybride valleybride 010

shaped into a variety of embellishments. Talk with the cake designer about his or her specialties in cake design, and ask to see a look-book of past cakes created. Be sure the person whose work you are reviewing will be the actual person doing your cake. l Consider matching the flowers on the cake with those in bouquets and table centre pieces. Skilled decorators can create sugar or piped fl owers that rival the look of the real thing. l Base the cake on the style of the bride’s wedding gown. A cake artist may be able to mimic the look of lace, beading, appliques and more. A photo of the gown may be all the inspiration the professional needs. l Who says you need to have vanilla? Today’s cakes come in so many fl avours, including chocolate fudge, banana, carrot, caramel, pumpkin and so many m o r e . A s k a b o u t t h e cake flavours and filling offerings. Can’t decide?

Find out if you can have multiple flavours, where each tier is a different option. l Save your appetite.

Consider skipping the extensive dessert bar so guests can truly savour your cake. n

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continued from Page 6

the wedding dress Make an appointment at the largest bridal salon in your area. This way youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ll have a very large selection of dresses to choose from. Ask if there is a limit on the amount of dresses you can try on at one time.

Check online to find a wedding dress. There are many websites that allow you to sort through the many styles and photos of wedding dresses. You want to visit a website that allows you to zoom in on the photos and mix and match the colours and styles.

Look through bride magazines for wedding dress styles, colours and fabrics to find a wedding dress that best suits you.

Ask your friends and family for their suggestions and opinions but make sure to stick with your overall desires for your wedding dress. n

26â&#x20AC;&#x192; valleybride 2010

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Romantic Wedding Vows Add romance to your wedding ceremony with these wedding vows

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f youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re a soft-hearted dreamer who wants to ensure that your wedding vows are heartfelt and touching, here are some samples of romantic wedding vows to get you started:

With Kindness, Unselfishness, and Trust I (name) affirm my love to you, (name) as I invite you to share my life.

You are the most beautiful, smart and generous person I have ever known, and I promise always to respect you and love you. With kindness, 28â&#x20AC;&#x192; valleybride 2010

PHOTO LEVEL 6 IMAGES

unselfishness and trust, I will work by your side to create a wonderful life together. I take you (name) to be my lawful (wife/husband), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as we both shall live.

The Best Person I Can Be (Name), from the moment I first saw you, I knew you were the one with whom I wanted to share my life. Your beauty, heart and mind inspire me to

be the best person I can be. I promise to love you for eternity, respecting you, honouring you, being faithful to you and sharing my life with you.

This is my solemn vow.

To Grow Along with You (Name), today I become your (husband/wife) and you become my (wife/husband). I will strive to give you the best of myself, while accepting you the way you are. I promise to respect you as a whole person with your own interests,

desires and needs, and to realize that those are sometimes different, but no less important than my own. I promise to keep myself open to you, to let you in to my innermost fears and feelings, secrets and dreams. I promise to grow along with you, to be willing to face change as we both change, keeping our relationship alive and exciting.

And finally, I promise to love you in good times and in bad, with all I have to give and all that I am, in the only way I know how – completely and forever.

“Planning my wedding was so easy!”

Love You Without Reservation (Name), today I take you for my (wife/ husband). I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.

Best Friend (Name), today I take you to be my (husband/wife). Together we will create a home, becoming a part of one another. I vow to help create a life that we can cherish, inspiring your love for me and mine for you.

I vow to be honest, caring and truthful, to love you as you are and not as I want you to be, and to grow old by your side as your love and best friend. n

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Attire Options for Mothers of the Bride and Groom Mothers of the bride and groom typically choose an elegant, understated dress to wear on the day of their child’s wedding.

W

hether you’re the mother of the bride or the groom, it goes without saying that you want to look your best on your child’s wedding day.

While tradition offers guidelines for choosing appropriate wedding attire for mothers of brides and grooms, choices abound.

Follow the leaders The most important rule of thumb for mothers is to follow the couple’s cues about the style and tone of their nuptials. Before purchasing an ensemble for the big day, talk with the bride and groom about their vision for the wedding. It’s also a

good idea for mothers to postpone purchasing their own wedding attire until the bride has selected her wedding dress and those of her attendants. It may also be useful to know if the couple has selected a colour scheme for their wedding.

These decisions will be helpful in determining the style, colours and level of formality that will be appropriate for the mothers.

that is off limits is white, which is reserved for the bride. While wearing black to weddings is gaining popularity, it is not a common colour for mothers – particularly the mother of the bride. In general, mother-ofthe-bride and -groom dresses tend to be solid colours rather than intricate prints, which can be distracting and look out of place in photos.

Don’t be a matchmaker

Traditionally, the mother of the bride selects her dress first, and the mother of the groom then chooses something similar in style. If either mother has questions about their choice of wedding attire, they should

Mothers’ dresses should complement the attire of the wedding party, but do not have to match the bridesmaids, the wedding colours or each other. In fact, the only colour

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consult the bride. Clear communication between the mothers or between the mother and the bride will not only make the shopping process both pleasant and productive, but will ensure that one mother doesn’t “outdo” or overshadow the other.

Know your style – and your place When looking for that perfect dress – whether it’s a floor-length gown or a flowing cocktail dress – stick with styles that flatter your figure and enhance your best features. Since your children’s wedding photos will be viewed – and may even be on display – for many years to come, choose a style that photographs well and a color that works well with your skin tone and won’t get “washed out” by the camera. Also, keep in mind that while you will be one of the leading ladies at the wedding, your attire should never compete with or draw attention away from the person with the starring role in the production – the bride. n PHOTO LEVEL 6 IMAGES

valleybride 2010 31

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NEW TWIST ON

“TRIED & TRUE” Wedding TRENDS FOR 2010 BRIDES

N

ext year’s bride is already in the throes of planning her wedding. From the dress to the reception venue to wedding colours, many trends from this year will continue into 2010. However, if a bride is looking for unique options, here are several new twists and tips on current trends from Lori Stephenson, owner and senior event consultant with Chicago-based LOLA Event Productions, which can be easily incorporated to infuse a wedding with a bride’s individual style.

Less can be more: “The trend for smaller wedding

34 valleybride 2010

size will continue in 2010, with a guest list of 150 being an average size as compared to 200-250,” says Stephenson. “We’re also experiencing a guest decline rate increase – from an expected decline rate of 10-20 per cent to 25 per cent and more.”

The smaller wedding sizes open the opportunity to look at creative venues like galleries, restaurants and loft spaces, not just traditional hotel ballrooms, she says.

Amenities for guests can also be added to make it more economical for those traveling to attend. For example, secure a range of price points for accommodations and ensure hotels offer additional features such as a

complimentary breakfast or a minikitchen. For guests traveling as a family, all-suite accommodations are a welcomed option. With less people attending, you can also maximize little touches like hotel amenity gifts or inviting out-of-town guests to a pre-nuptial cocktail party the evening before the wedding. Another nice touch is making the weekend about more than just the wedding with a complimentary sightseeing outing like an architectural cruise or a museum visit the morning of the wedding.

Stephenson also cautions that prior to signing a venue contract, review your guest list in detail: “Take into

consideration the number of out-oftown guests when negotiating your food and beverage minimum with the hotel or other vendor.” Nobody wants to pay for upgrades just to reach their food and beverage goals. If it looks like you will be falling under the minimum, ask if you can parlay it into a brunch the following morning.

Location, location, location: According to Stephenson, hosting a wedding at home was a 2009 trend that offered a surprise for many bridal couples. “Depending on location, having a wedding at a private residence can be just as expensive, if not more, than a ballroom reception,” says Stephenson. “For example, in the Midwest states where weather can be tumultuous, the cost of tenting, flooring and other necessities can quickly add up.” Stephenson notes that looking at alternative venues that showcase a bride or groom’s interest or passions can offer a unique setting, “We recently planned a reception

at Café Brauer in Chicago’s Lincoln Park Zoo for two architects that had been a part of the project to renovate that building and the grounds around the zoo.” Stephenson adds that if a couple in the medical profession are tying the knot, consider Chicago’s Museum of Surgical Science; art lovers could consider a gallery; and wine enthusiasts could investigate a restaurant that specializes in wine

and tasting plates, like Lotusland Vineyards or Mt. Lehman Winery in Abbotsford.

Spreading the word: E-mail invitations and electronic RSVP’s have gained popularity with all kinds of events, and it is a trend that continues to create a stir with etiquette sticklers. While a viable and popular option for bridal couples

valleybride 2010 35

planning a more casual soiree – or as an easy and eco-friendly way to send a save-the-date, the majority opt to stick with tradition and communicate their intended vows with formal invitations.

However, this doesn’t hold true when it comes to leveraging technology to keep guests apprised of wedding details.

Custom designing a website that mirrors a couple’s wedding motif is the latest twist to an old trend. “Couples are realizing that their wedding websites offers guests a first glimpse of the big day and are taking time to integrate stylistic elements from their wedding invitations, personal imagery and color palettes into the web design,” says Stephenson. They are easy to update and manage so guests are always apprised of the latest information.

Colour commentary: When it comes to colours for the wedding, Stephenson recommends parlaying the monochrome colour palette of the past year into something new and different, perhaps by introducing a muted plum with the yellow that is trendy right now, to give it a layer of depth and subtlety.

Stephenson also recommends adding a twist to the use of pattern.

“Vintage brocades have been really popular in the last few years, but there are many other fabulous patterns with a contemporary edge from the 1960s and 70s that are great mixed with some of the mod elements, so popular right now with décor like mirrors and Lucite.”

Tonal colour can be used as a unifying element for the wedding party.

Bridesmaids can choose their dress in different shades of a chosen colour, allowing them to look co-ordinated, not cloned. Brides can add a splash of color to their gown, or ask their guests to wear all white and the bride can be featured as the standout in a striking colour.

Being “friendly” to the earth and its inhabitants: Embracing today’s eco-friendly and sustainable trends, many brides and 36 valleybride 2010

grooms try to incorporate positive environmental, social and economic aspects into their wedding day.

“While we continue to see a trend towards being more eco-conscious, we encourage bridal couples to choose options that reflect their own personality and interests,” says Stephenson. “Guests are increasingly appreciative of these efforts, especially those that give back to the community.”

For example, bridal couples can work with a caterer to create a menu from local sustainable resources including hormone-free dairy and meat products, and pesticide-free produce grown at local farms.

A recent LOLA couple took this one step further and donated excess food from their wedding festivities to a local shelter.

In addition, the same couple asked wedding guests to make a donation to a local area fund that supports children’s education initiatives in lieu of a wedding gift.

“We strive to assist our clients to plan a wedding reflective of their individual style and within their budget, and certainly this can easily include philanthropic and eco-friendly aspects,” says Stephenson. n PHOTOS LEVEL 6 IMAGES

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38â&#x20AC;&#x192; valleybride 2010

Proposal the

W

omen want to be swept off their feet. They want to feel that they are valued and desired. They want to feel that a man is opening his heart in a way he never has before.

Is New Year’s Eve a good day for a proposal?

Sure. It’s a great time for a proposal. It’s the beginning of all things new and bright. It’s also a time of hope and resolution to do better than ever.

Proposing on New Year’s Eve or New Year’s Day are wonderful ways to start the New Year. Plus – if she says yes, you’ll always remember your proposal date! Now, if you can just make your wedding date on a national holiday, you’ll never forget the anniversary!

What should you never do when proposing?

• Back-peddle – say, things like, “I know you’ll probably say no, but . . .” or “I’m probably not the first one to ask you, and you’re probably going to

dash my hopes, but . . . ” • Take her for granted. Or even appear to take her for granted.

• Show up without a ring or some other extremely important piece of jewelry if it’s not a ring.

• Say you’re not ready to pick a wedding date. A proposal without a date is no good. You don’t have to pick a date within the same hour you propose, but you should be prepared to pick a wedding date within the first week of the accepted proposal.

• Make a proposal contingent on something else – like, if you can just adjust your custody schedule with your kids, I’d like to marry you. Or else, if we can agree not to see your parents, then I’d like to marry you.

How much can a marriage proposal cost?

A proposal should cost at minimum as much as the ring, and at most, as much as the vacation you take her on to propose. It really doesn’t matter as long as you have the ring and the words.

valleybride 2010 39

We’ve got you covered!

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After having seen Blood Diamond, the movie starring Leonardo Di Caprio, a diamond is no longer a great idea for an engagement ring, (unless it’s a Canadian diamond). Choose a beautiful piece of family heirloom jewelry that your granny has passed down or purchase a beautiful ring that is not a diamond or does not have a gem that was mined at the expense of other lives. Believe me – if you get it big enough, beautiful enough, and with enough fanfare, the stone is not a problem.

If you want advice, ask her sister, her best friend or her mother, whoever she’s close with who knows her taste. n

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find your bridal look

on the free Mary Kay Virtual Makeover It’s another way to make this year your beautiful best – especially if you’ve got wedding bells ahead.

• Choose bridal makeup artist looks created especially for your wedding style. Go glam.

Go natural. Go for daytime glow.

• Try out dozens of accessories like veils, tiaras and jewelry. Even try exotic bridal accessories from India. Plus, find over 100 hairstyles.

continued from Page 6 Make an appointment at the largest bridal salon in your area. This way you’ll have a very large selection of dresses to choose from. Ask if there is a limit on the amount of dresses you can try on at one time.

Check online to find a wedding dress. There are endless websites that allow you to sort through the many styles and photos of wedding dresses. You’ll want to visit a website that allows you to zoom in on the photos and mix and match the colours and styles.

Peruse through bride magazines for wedding dress styles, colours and fabrics to find a wedding dress that best suits you.

Ask your friends and family for their suggestions and opinions but make sure to stick with your overall desires for your wedding dress. n

Once you find the perfect look, make it a beautiful reality. Contact me for a free personalized colour makeover.

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get on the

besttressed

You dont have to say “I do” to a boring old bun.

Here’s how to get started

list

Do your homework Flip through bridal magazines and visit Brides.com’s Hairstyles Gallery to find looks you love.

Flatter your dress Let your wedding dress guide the hairstyle you choose: updos look stunning with backless designs, while romantic ringlets complement princess ball gowns. Long, flowing waves are perfect for a wedding on the sand.

Select a stylist If you don’t already have a stylist you want to use for your big day, look for someone who specializes in formal or camera-ready styles. Get recommendations from friends and brides in your area.

Professional style Don’t trim, colour, perm or chemically straighten your own hair – especially during the six months leading up to your wedding day.

42 valleybride 2010

PHOTO LEVEL 6 IMAGES

The long and short of it If your hair is short but you want to wear an updo, start growing it out as soon as possible. Keep in mind: Hair grows about half an inch per month.

Torn between two dos?

Sport one style during your ceremony (perhaps a formal updo), then another, more relaxed look (think loose, cascading curls) for your reception.

Hair dos and don’ts Don’t get a partial highlight (meaning only the top layers of your hair are coloured) if you plan to wear an updo on your wedding day. The two-tone look won’t be flattering.

Do as celebrities do and use clip-on extensions and hidden hairpieces to add volume, length and holding power for your big day.

Don’t choose an outrageous, over-the-top hairstyle if your normal style is sleek and simple. You’ll feel uncomfortable, and you won’t look like yourself.

Do schedule your hair appointment several hours before your ceremony. You don’t want to have to rush. n

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Beach We Planning a

Beach weddings are in style but there are certain things to consider. Failing to look into these matters these could leave you unpleasantly surprised on your wedding day. There should be nothing to prevent you from realizing your dream of a beautiful seaside ceremony. As a matter of fact, there are many benefits.

44â&#x20AC;&#x192; valleybrideâ&#x20AC;&#x192; 010

Wedding PHotoS LEvEL 6 iMAgES

valleybride 010 45

46â&#x20AC;&#x192; valleybride 2010

Just know the matters to consider and plan for them. Your wedding day will be a wonderful and blissful occasion!

The pros of beach weddings A beach wedding can be much cheaper than a traditional wedding.

It is said that the average budget for a wedding these days is between $20,000 to $30,000. That is a huge and needless financial burden to take on. Don’t start off married life incarcerated by your wedding day debts.

If you have that sort of money to spend, superb, but if not, don’t go there. Be realistic and keep in mind the day is what you, your loved ones and your friends make of it not how much you spent on it.

A beach wedding can be a informal affair. It allows everybody to relax.

Your guests can dress comfortably and affordably. Frequently bridesto-be are ignorant of the financial strain they place on their wedding

attendants and guests. Not everybody can afford to purchase that wedding outfit.

The wedding ceremony and reception can all be held right there on the beach. No need to travel to different locations. This is very convenient for everybody. Hey, even the kids can have fun at a beach wedding!

A beach wedding allows you to involve everybody in the activities.

Guests are not restricted to sitting quietly in their seats. They can really be a part of the celebration.

Beach weddings don’t always need a sanction. If you are having a small ceremony and do not need a section of the beach to be blocked off, just do it. Simple yet pretty.

A beach wedding is a modern and refreshing change from the “stodgy” traditional wedding. It allows your imagination and personality to shine through.

There is no “correct” or “incorrect way” to plan a beach wedding.

It can be large, small, romantic, fanciful or even downright silly. You can pay big bucks and hire the whole thing out, or, you can be cheap and make the whole thing yourself. The decision is entirely yours.

The cons of beach weddings The most significant thing to keep in mind when planning a beach wedding is that Mother Nature sets the rules. Depending on her mood, she can brighten your day or rain on your parade. When planning your celebration, be certain to plan an alternate location should the old girl be crabby that day.

The beach is generally a bit breezy so take that into consideration when picking your location. Try to choose a cove on the beach that is protected from direct winds.

Be certain to check with local authorities regarding any permits needed to use the beach. This should only be essential if you are having a large gathering and you want to

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block off a portion of the beach exclusively for you and your guests.

Talking about food don’t forget about the seagulls!

They are infamous beggars and thieves. You can wait for them to attend your beach wedding, unwelcome. As long as you keep food covered and don’t feed them, they will stay on the sidelines.

Keep in mind the tides.

You undeniably do not want to be surprised by the fast and surprising arrival of elevated tide.

On the beach, there will be bugs and sunshine.

Ensure you consider the comfort of your guests.

Bring sunscreen and insect repellant for those who did not bear in mind to bring their own.

Chairs may sink in the sand if you do not have

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flooring to place under them. Though, if you are planning a beach blanket reception, you will not require chairs. Keep in mind your elderly guests, however. Plan for their security and comfort. You will need to give them chairs and beach umbrellas to protect them from the elements.

Beach weddings are beautiful but nature gives an element of insecurity.

Cautious planning on your part will remove most of that. Just keep in mind that every hair may not be in place due to the ocean breezes, or a seagull may drop off his “wedding gift” a little too close to the punch bowl. These are not flaws or imperfections.

They are memories.

Enjoy them and have fun! n

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This Get-Hitched offers unique experiences to remember

Wedding planner Brenda-lee Appeldoorn, right, and her daughter Jennifer, pictured here at Sweet Dreams Luxury Inn in Abbotsford.

They will take care of everything, from make-up for the bride to co-ordinating a venue for photos through their company Get-Hitched Wedding consultants.

photo Jean Konda-Witte

50â&#x20AC;&#x192; valleybride 2010

PHOTO Revival Arts Studio

planner’s at your side Christina Toth Editor

I

t’s not unco m m o n these days for busy working couples-to-be to hire a wedding planner to help them prepare for their big event. The bride and groom hand over their list of must-haves and dislikes, maybe meet with the planner a few times leading up to the wedding day, but basically allow the planning company sorting out the details.

The result may be satisfactory but at times predictable and impersonal.

Brenda-lee Appeldoorn of Get-Hitched Wedding Consultants wants to make sure brides and grooms

have a truly memorable experience, and one that really reflects who they are.

A warm and energetic woman with an easy laugh, Appeldoorn combines her unique background of planning corporate events, her fitness training experience, and her creative urge to orchestrate one-of-a-kind wedding experiences.

“The wilder and more creative the better. It doesn’t have to be expensive at all, but the challenge is to do something unique,” said Appeldoorn, who runs G e t - H i t c h e d We d d i n g Consultants with her daughter Jennifer. The two offer experience plus a young fresh perspective.

She suggests the typical cost for a planner should

PHOTO Revival Arts Studio

be 10 to 15 per cent of the wedding, or about $2,000 for a $20,000 budget.

Appeldoorn thrives on the personal interaction she has with brides, and is keen to offer unlimited guidance and support.

“I like to get to know the bride and the wedding party and watch them as they prepare for the wedding,” she said. A franchise wedding planner may limit the interaction with the client, but Appeldorn is ready to go shopping for linen or whatever with the bride if need be, or answer her questions whenever they pop up.

Appeldoorn is accustomed to being available to her clients, and pulling off big events.

She’s been an event planner for 20-plus years, including a six-year stint as an event co-ordinator for the 300-member B.C. chapter of the Young Presidents’ Organization.

She arranged special experiences for the highlevel entrepreneurs around the world, from New York to Israel, with events that ranged from tugboat ballets to floating dinners in the Dead Sea, to Cirque de Soleil performers in a Los Angeles museum.

“You had to have a ‘wow’ factor, or else you’d lose your job. They were tired of conferences and wanted different things,” she said.

Most recently, she spent a couple of years organizing political events and fundraisers, but she craved valleybride 2010 51

the creativity and interpersonal bonds that came from organizing personal events. “I thought brides would be easy compared to politicians,” she said with her infectious laugh.

While she’s very familiar with the usual large venues chosen for nuptial occasions, Appeldoorn is enthusiast about the local hidden gems in the Fraser Valley, from luxury B&Bs to parks, private farms and other spots.

An added perk is that Appeldoorn is a personal fitness trainer (her clients include Canadian Forces members), a complementary career she’s also had for the past 0 years.

As part of the planning service, she offers her brides – and all members of the wedding party – free access to her boot camp-style classes three times a week, with her All or Nothing Fitness services (allornothingfi tness.ca). She says as with any exercise regime, there are positive effects overall.

The women get into better shape for the big day, with firmer arms, backs and torsos for those close-

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fitting bodices and sleeveless gowns – and don’t forget the honeymoon – the gown eventually comes off, and the bride still has to look good in a bathing suit or what-have-you on the honeymoon, she says.

“I can have the brides for a whole year training, and we offer the training to the others.

The end result is you have a happy bride and a happy bridal party,” said Appeldorn. “The brides are less cranky, less stressed and more relaxed.”

Appeldoorn said she recently had 10 brides attending her workout program. She runs classes three times a week, incorporating cardio, stretching and strength, but like everything else she does, Appeldoorn likes to keep things interesting. Exercise can come in the form of rock climbing, pole dancing, and recently she took her group to play floor

hockey, something many of the participants hadn’t done since elementary school. “It was a real workout, but it was a lot of fun,” she said.

Appeldoorn goes out of her way to pamper her clients. One thing she does is book a venue, maybe a bed and breakfast like Sweet Dreams Luxury Inn in Abbotsford, for the bridal party on the wedding day.

“I have all the services come there, to do the hair, the nails, the make-up,” while she and Jennifer ensure the attire, flowers and other details are made ready. “We create a relaxing environment with a healthy continental breakfast as you prepare for the day.” n To find out more, see Appeldoorn’s website at www.Get-Hitched.ca and click on the hearts.

You can also e-mail to Brenda@get-hitched. ca, Jennifer@get-hitched.ca or call 604-8970409 or 604-864-7065.

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Wedding bells When

ring a second time Charli Penn weddingchannel.com

M

any rules have changed when it comes to wedding etiquette.

If you’re getting remarried, you may find yourself wondering what rules have changed since the last time you said, “I do.”

Here’s a look at wedding etiquette then and now, with thanks to Elise Mac Adam, author of Something New: Wedding Etiquette for Rule Breakers, Tr a d i t i o n a l i s t s , a n d Everyone in Between.

Then: There was no dress code other than “formal” for brides and grooms, and for their guests.

Now: Attire can be completely informal (think casual summer dress for the bride and linen pants for the groom). A bride can wear whatever she’d like at her wedding (and in whatever colour she wants) and her groom can follow suit. But the couple still decides on the dress code for the event – making a mention of it on the invitations with the expectation that their guests will obey.

Then: Wedding registries were regarded as completely greedy and self-involved and were 54 valleybride 2010

used primarily to indicate to friends and family what china patterns the couple had selected at their department store.

Now: Here’s one etiquette rule that’s done a complete 180. Most often your guests will expect you to register for gifts. Not registering for anything would actually be more questionable these days, though acceptable if that’s what you wish.

Then: Putting registry information or requests for cash on wedding stationery of any kind was unacceptable.

Now: It still is. Even if you want to insist that your guests don’t buy gifts, the invitation isn’t the proper place to do so. The same goes for cash requests. No matter how practical you think it is, you can come off looking as if you’re charging admission to your wedding. (This includes registry information – let it spread by word of mouth or through a subtle mention on your wedding website.)

If you’re interested in receiving cash or something very specific, consider setting up a lifestyle registry or alternative registry that will help clue in your guests.

Then: You wouldn’t invite

someone to your shower who wasn’t invited to your wedding.

Now: It’s only acceptable to have different guest lists if you’re throwing an office shower or having a very intimate destination wedding. Since guests will have to bring presents to the shower, it could look like you’re trying to collect gifts from them even though they’re not welcome at the main event.

Then: After attending a wedding and purchasing a gift for the couple, guests expected to receive a thank-

you note as close to the wedding date as possible.

Now: It’s a must that you write thank-you notes to everyone who attended your wedding. There is a little more leeway regarding how soon guests expect to receive them.

It’s becoming understood that this is something that won’t happen overnight – especially with more couples taking longer honeymoons or planning other family time postwedding. These days, you have between one and three months to send

thank-you notes before it’s considered rude or neglectful.

Then: Guests received invitations and wrote back on their own stating whether or not they would attend.

Now: Save-the-dates, though still a fair ly new form of wedding stationery, have become more common because weddings now tend to require more travelling and planning (especially with the increased popularity of destination weddings and holiday weddings). Savethe-dates are to be sent out before the invitations to give guests as much time to plan as possible, and to help the bride and groom get an idea of what their final guest count will be. In addition, guests

will likely expect to see a response card in the invitation suite and might feel inconvenienced if they have to supply their own reply stationery and postage.

Then: The bride’s family paid for all wedding expenses.

Now: There are no rules about who pays for what as long as everyone keeps in mind the central rule that no one should have to put up more money than they’re comfortable spending. You don’t need to go into debt to get married, and often very close friends and other family members will offer to help pick up costs for pre-wedding parties and extra unexpected expenses (tux rental, late fees, extra favour bags, etc.). n

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Wedding Games Here are some popular games that are played on or with the bridal couple. Some families or cultures may be sensitive to some games or consequences you perform on the couple. Please ensure that no protocols are breached before playing a game.

Lifesaver:

Blindfold the groom (you don’t want to mess up the bride’s makeup). Put four different coloured (flavoured) Lifesavers in the bride’s mouth. Have the groom fish each colour out in a specific order (get the audience to choose). For each one he gets wrong, he has to do a drink (if he has been drinking too much, I suggest a full glass of water for each error).

Pop the balloon:

Get the wedding party up and place a balloon between each woman and man (use your imagination of where to put the balloon). They have to hug tightly

enough to break the balloon. The last one to do it is punished. (Do not fully inflate the newlyweds) balloon – it makes it harder or impossible to pop).

Punishments can be anything from kissing to singing to carrying the bride around the room, etc . . .

Instantly-wed game:

Same as the Newlywed Game – When the bride leaves the room to change (or powder her nose) ask the groom some questions about them to see if the bride answers the same when she returns. For each wrong answer you can offer a punishment. Sample

questions would be: What was the other person wearing when they met?

Does the other person like their toilet paper to roll off the top of the roll or the bottom? Who is smarter, the bride or the groom and why?

You can also use do the InstantlyWed game with the bride and groom taking off their shoes and exchanging one of theirs for their spouses. Make the questions so that they have to answer with either a him or her.

For example, “who will be the one who takes out the garbage?” The newlyweds would then hold up the shoe that corresponds with who they

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think is going to do it. Of course the couple have to be back-to-back so they cannot see how the other responds!

then have him/her spit the egg back out into the cup.

You might want to get them some bibs so that they don’t get their attire eggy.

Egg through the pants:

Guess the lipstick marks:

Everyone does this one.

Get a raw egg and have the bride insert the egg in one of the groom’s pant legs and then fish it through the pants until it comes out of the other pant leg. If the egg doesn’t make it through in one piece, it is punishment enough. Some people have used frozen oranges or sponges.

Have a few girls (or guys) kiss a sheet of paper along with the bride. The groom then has to correctly guess which one is hers.

Raw egg transfer: Put a raw egg into a cup. Have one newlywed pour the egg into their mouth; then, have him/her transfer the raw egg from their mouth into their spouse’s mouth;

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Guess the hands: Blindfold t h e p a r t i c i p a n t a n d have him or her feel a certain body part of some volunteers and then their spouse’s (remember you’re doing a family show here).

Then he or she has to guess which one was their partner’s.

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their counterp a r t b y smelling a certain area (we recommend hand or neck).

Cinderella (Whose shoes are these?): Same as the above two – but they don’t have to smell them.

Pen in the bottle: This is a communication game. You need to prepare an empty bottle, string, a pen and a stick and a blindfold, (last two are optional). You put a bottle on the floor and tie a pen to a string.

If you have a stick and a blindfold you can do this “fishing” style. Blindfold the groom and have the bride give him instructions on how to lower the pen into the neck of the bottle.

If you do not have a stick and a blindfold, you can tie the string and pen around the groom’s waist so that the pen is behind him (like a tail) and the bride can get him to set the pen in by giving him instructions on where to squat. n

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thechecklist Tick off these boxes as you complete your to-dos, filling in extra tasks as needed Sixteen to Nine Months Before

Five to Four Months Before

One Month Before

❏ Start a wedding folder ❏ Work out the budget ❏ Build your wedding party ❏ Settle on a head count ❏ Hire a planner, if desired ❏ Book the date and venues ❏ Book the offi ciant ❏ Research photographers bands, fl orists, and caterers ❏ Insert vendor contact information into a master contact list ❏ Throw engagement party ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

❏ Book the rehearsal and rehearsaldinner venues ❏ Check on printing of wedding invitations ❏ Order the cake ❏ Send the guest list to the bridalshower hostess ❏ Purchase shoes and start dress fi ttings ❏ Schedule hair and makeup artists ❏ Choose songs ❏ Plan welcome baskets ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

Eight Months Before

Three Months Before

❏ Book the photographer and the videographer ❏ Book entertainment ❏ Register ❏ Purchase a dress ❏ Start meeting caterers ❏ Reserve block of hotel rooms for guests ❏ Launch a wedding website ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

❏ Finalize the menu and the fl owers ❏ Order favors, if desired ❏ Create a toast makers’ list ❏ Finalize readings ❏ Purchase the rings ❏ Finalize order of the ceremony and reception ❏ Print menu cards and programs ❏ Purchase undergarments and visit dressmaker for second fi tting ❏ Send schedule to vendors ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

❏ Put RSVPs into guest-list database and phone invitees who haven’t yet responded. ❏ Get marriage license ❏ Mail rehearsal-dinner invitations ❏ Have fi nal dress fi tting ❏ Stock the bar ❏ Send out as many fi nal payments as you can ❏ Confi rm times for hair and makeup and vendors ❏ Assign seating ❏ Purchase bridesmaids’ gifts to hand out at the rehearsal dinner ❏ Write vows, if necessary ❏ Get hair cut and colored, if desired ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

Seven to Six Months Before ❏ Purchase invitations and hire a calligrapher ❏ Plan your honeymoon ❏ Shop for bridesmaids’ dresses ❏ Meet with the offi ciant ❏ Send save-the-date cards ❏ Reserve structural and electrical necessities ❏ Book a fl orist ❏ Procure transportation ❏ Start composing a day-of timeline ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

Two Months Before ❏ Discuss locations and shots with photographer ❏ Review playlist with the band or the deejay ❏ Send invitations ❏ Touch base with vendors ❏ Submit a newspaper wedding announcement ❏ Enjoy bachelorette party ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

Week of ❏ Reconfi rm arrival times with all vendors ❏ Delegate small wedding-day tasks to friends and family members ❏ Send fi nal timeline to bridal party ❏ Make arrangements for the dress to be delivered or pick it up yourself ❏ Supply photographer with a list of moments you want captured ❏ Set aside checks and tip envelope for vendors ❏ Book spa treatment ❏ Send fi nal guest count to caterer and venues ❏ Break in shoes ❏ Assemble welcome baskets and distribute ❏ Pack for honeymoon ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________ ❏ _____________________________

valleybride 010 59

resource index ABBOTSFORD WINE 2 - 2015 Abbotsford Way, Abbotsford 604-854-5353 www.abbotsfordwine.com

Professional Personal Service

Annette’s Tailor Shop 8991 Young Road 604-795-9888 Agassiz Agricultural Hall 604 796 3246 info@agassizfallfair.com ASHLEY MARTENS PHOTOGRAPHY 604-308-1259 ashleymartenphotography@live.ca www.ashleymartensphotography.com

A name you can trust Membership Services Insurance Call 604-824-2720 Visit 45428 Luckakuck Way Click www.bcaa.com

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BEDFORD HOUSE RESTAURANT 9272 Glover Road Fort Langley, BC, V1M2R7 604.888.2333

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Best Western Bakerview 1821 Sumas Way, Abbotsford 604-859-1341 1-877-336-6156 www.bestwesternbakerview.com

Culinary Touch Catering 101-30600 Progressive Way, Abbotsford 604-825-1979 www.ctcfoodservices.com

Best Western MISSION CITY LODGE 32281 Lougheed Hwy, Mission 604-820-5500 bwmission@telus.net Borrowed Bridal Dreams 604 798 6837 borrowedbridaldreams@hotmail.com Bug In Your Ear DJ Service 604-703-0794 jansens@telus.net

Cakes on Demand • Wedding & All Occasion Cakes • Cookies & Cupcakes www.cakesondemand.com 7484A Vedder Road Chilliwack 604-793-3688 Champagne & Lace 33811 South Fraser Way, Abbotsford 604-852-8686 www.champagneandlace.com Christine’s Creative Cakes 604-793-0100 cakescutajar@hotmail.com

Heather Courtice Spa Consultant Treat yourself to a free Spa Day in the comfort of your own home.

Classic Stationery & Scrapbooking 45933 Alexander Ave, Chilliwack 604 793 6906 classicbarb@shaw.ca

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Wedding Dance 604-316-0294 Dam Pretty Things Boutique 31170 Dewdney Trunk Road, Mission 604-462-9800 DANCE LESSONS WITH ROBERT 4 - 2009 Abbotsford Way, Abbotsford 604-850-4908 www.dancelessonswithrobert.com DeNevers Events 604-858-2217 www.deneversevents.com

Everlasting MemoriES 778-808-8479 e.memories@hotmail.com www.myphotoslideshow.org The Falls Golf Resort 8341 Nixon Road, Chilliwack 604-796-3300 www.thefalls.com Flowers For You 604-746-9379 www.flowersforyou.ca Fraternal Order of Eagles 33868 Essendene Ave, Abbotsford 604-859-5405 www.foe.com Graham’s Gifts 45915 Wellington Ave., Chilliwack 604 795 5812 Here & There Mobile Salon and Spa 604-701-8700

2 locations to serve you 6014 Vedder Rd 604.824.9602 45905 Yale Rd 604.792.9689 www.divinewines.ca

www.beautipage.ca/heatherc 604-831-3647

The Coast Chilliwack Hotel 45920 First Avenue, Chilliwack 604 792 5552 chilliwack@coasthotels.com

Doug’s Key Mart Locksmith Located in Chilliwack Mall 604 858 6777 dougkey@shaw.ca

ASM Printing Inc #13 34100 South Fraser Way, Abbotsford 604-854-6644

Cookies Grill 44335 Yale Road West Chilliwack 604.792.0444 www.cookiesgrill.ca

Ever After Bridal 604-824-9799 604-793-8336 Chilliwack, B.C.

60 valleybride 2010

♥ Floral Bouquets ♥ Wedding Arrangements Seasonal bedding plants and a wide assortment of potted plants.

Icing On The Cake 604-820-1354 604-826-5029 icingonthecake@shaw.ca Jeff Andrews Photography 604-864-8777 www.jeffandrewsphotography.com JR Jewellers until March 1st at Cottonwood Mall, Chilliwack after March 1st at #102- 45389 Luckakuck Way Chilliwack 604-858-5115 www.jrjewellersbc.com Ken Pugh Wedding Photography 604- 858-0544 www.kenpugh.ca

resource index Kim Odell Photography 604-798-7878 www.kimodellphotography.com Klassic Catering Tel: 604-864-8250 www.klassiccatering.com La Brewhouse U-Brew Wine & Beer 3 – 8635 Young Road, Chilliwack 604 795 2321 labrewhouse@shaw.ca LANKA JEWELS 326 - 32555 London Avenue, Mission 604-826-5766 www.lankajewels.ca Lasting Flowers 604-858-0172 604-793-8764 www.lastingflowers.ca gail@lastingflowers.ca Let’s Makeup Beauty Studio 604-826-3507 8102 Cade Barr Street, Mission letsmakeupbeauty.webs.com LEVEL 6 IMAGES 604.835.2747 www.level6images.com Magnolias on Main 33253 1st Ave, Mission 604-826-1110 www.magnoliasonmainflowers.com Making Memories 20457 Douglas Crescent, Langley 604-514-0044 www.makingmemoriesbridal.ca Mary Kay Cosmetics Kelly Maydiniuk Tel: 604-824-6499 www.marykay.ca/kmaydiniuk Meadow Gardens Golf Course 19675 Meadow Gardens Way, Pitt Meadows www.meadowgardens.com 604 465 5474 Moi Photography 604-616-7932 www.moiphotography.com

MSA Museum Society at Trethewey House Heritage Site 2313 Ware Street, Abbotsford 604-853-0313 www.msamuseum.ca Ocean Breeze Cruise & Travel Corporation #116 3250 Mount Lehman Road, Abbotsford 604-857-0880 www.oceanbreezeholidays.com On The Rocks BARTENDING SERVICE 604-795-3196 ontherocksbartending@shaw.ca Orpana Imaging 604 316 8120 www.orpanaimaging.com Paramount Portraits 604-850-3183 www.paramountportraits.com Perfect Tan 300-2050 Sumas Way, Abbotsford 604-855-9559 2 - 32750 George Ferguson Way, Abbotsford 604-850-2112 www.perfecttan.ca

Riverwood Weddings & Events 604-858-7453 Chilliwack 604-897-1753 Abbotsford www.riverwoodevents.ca ROCKWELL’S CATERING 32281 Lougheed Hwy, Mission 604-820-5500 Ext. #4 mission@rockwellscatering.com

Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory 328 Esplanade Ave. Harrison Hot Springs Across from the lagoon 604-491-2010 7 oaks Laser Dental Centre Seven Oaks Mall 604-870-9838 www.7oaks-smile.com Silk & White Satin #205 – 7592 Vedder Road Chilliwack 604 858 2758 silkandwhitesatin@yahoo.ca

Phat Boyz Mobile DJ Service 604 819 0161 1 800 719 0161 www.phatboyz.ca

Simply Perfect Flowers #102 2070 Sumas Way, Abbotsford www.simplyperfectflowers.com 604-557-0055

Photography by Davina 604-854-1116, 604-309-4328 www.photographybydavina.ca

Studio Deluxe Photography Email: info@ studiodeluxephotography.com

Photoplay’s Portrait Jean Konda-Witte, photojournalist jkonda@telus.net

Suman’s Beauty, Bride and Boutique #1 2757 Bourquin Crescent West Abbotsford 604-850-1376

Ramada Plaza & Conference Centre 36035 North Parallel Road, Abbotsford 604-870-1050 1-888-411-1070 www.ramadaabbotsford.ca Restaurant 62 106-2001 McCallum Road, Abbotsford 604-855-3545 www.restaurant62.ca

Sunrayz 12-2047 Sumas Way, Abbotsford 604-853-8560 www.sunrayz.ca SureSlim Chilliwack #11 – 6014 Vedder Road Chilliwack 604 847 3111 chilliwack@sureslim.ca

SWING OPTICAL 2 - 33231 1st Avenue Mission, V2V 1G7 Teddy Bear Dreams 45903 Wellington Ave Chilliwack 604 792 3215 The Tent Guys Tel: 853-2511 www.tentguys.ca Thomas Designer Jewelry Ltd. 7425 Vedder Road Chilliwack 604.858.8002 www.thomasdesignerjewelry.com

Tzeachten Hall 45855 Promontory Road Chilliwack, British Columbia V2R 0H3

Tel: 604-858-3888 Toll Free: 1-866-494-3888 www.tzeachten.ca Unique Silver Tray 604-793-8146 www.innasweddings.com Valley Wedding Solutions 604-858-0544 www.valleyweddingsolutions.com Vancouver Valley Professional Bartending Service 778-866-8367 Vancouver 604-795-1769 Fraser Valley www.vancouvervalleybarpros.ca Weddings West www.weddingswest.com

Beautiful and stylish photography 1886 Chapel available for wedding ceremonies Tel: 604.823.4613

www.whitealbumweddings.com www.whitealbumweddings.com/blog

valleybride 2010 61

Notes...

6 valleybride 010

Beauty & Fashion FOR ALL YOUR

NEEDS

full hair and esthetic services • threading • waxing

One stop shopping for prom & wedding accessories

Suman’s Beauty, Bride and Boutique #1-2757 Bourquin Crescent West Abbotsford BC

604.850.1376

• make up • hair care

64â&#x20AC;&#x192; valleybride 2010