IndifferenceandDecompensationinPathologicalNarcissism
Thenarcissistlacksempathy.Consequently,heisnotverysurelyfascinatedaboutthelives,emotions,demands,personal tastes,andhopesofworker'saroundhim.Evenhisnearestanddearestare,tohim,mereresourcesofgratification. They requirehisundividedrecognitiononlyoncethey“malfunction”–aftertheycometobedisobedient,impartial,orcrucial. Helosesallactivityinthemintheeventthattheywon'tbe“fixed”(caseinpoint,whentheyareterminallyailingor growamodicumofprivateautonomyandindependence).
Oncehegivesuponhiserstwhileassetsoffurnish,thenarcissistproceedstoquicklyandperemptorilydevalueand discardthem.Thisisusallyaccomplishedbywayofreadilyignoringthem–afacadeofindifferencethatisisnamedthe “silentremedy”andis,atcenter,adverseandcompetitive.Indifferenceis,forthatreason,akindofdevaluation.People locatethenarcissist“bloodless”,“inhuman”,“heartless”,“clueless”,“roboticorcomputer-like”.
Earlyoninlife,thenarcissistlearnstocoverhissocially-unacceptableindifferenceasbenevolence,equanimity,coolheadedness,composure,orsuperiority.SizeMDPlus“Itisn'tthatIdon’tcareaboutothers”–heshrugsoffhiscritics–“Iampurelygreaterpoint-headed,extraresilient,morecomposedlowerthanforce…Theymistakemyequanimityfor apathy.”
Thenarcissistattemptstopersuadefolksthathe'scompassionate.Hisprofoundlossofhobbyinhiswife’sexistence, vocation,interests,pursuits,andwhereaboutshecloaksasbenevolentaltruism.“Iprovideherthewholefreedomshecan wouldlikefor!”–heprotests–“Idon’tspyonher,applyher,ornagherwithnever-endingquestions.Idon’thassleher. Ienableherleadherexistencethemannersheseeshealthyanddon’tinterfereinheraffairs!”.Hemakesaadvantageout ofhisemotionaltruancy
Allverycommendablebutwhilsttakentoextremessuchbenignforgetturnsmalignantandsignifiesthevoidanceof preciseloveandattachment.Thenarcissist’semotional(and,frequently,physical)absencefromallhisrelationshipsisa styleofaggressionandasafetyinoppositiontohisveryowncorrectlyrepressedemotions.
Inuncommonmomentsofself-information,thenarcissistrealizes SizeMDPlusUKthatwithouthisinput–evenwithin thekindoffeignedthoughts–humanbeingswillabandonhim.Hethenswingsfromcruelaloofnesstomaudlinand grandiosegesturesmeanttodemonstratethe“largethanlifestyles”natureofhissentiments.Thisoddpendulummerely provesthenarcissist’sinadequacyatpreservingpersonrelationships.Itconvincesnooneandrepelsmany.
Thenarcissist’sguardeddetachmentisasadresponsetohisunfortunateyouth.Pathologicalnarcissismistheorytobe theendresultofalengthyintervalofseriousabusewiththeaidofknowncaregivers,friends,orauthorityfigures.Inthis sense,pathologicalnarcissismis,subsequently,aresponsetotrauma.NarcissismisashapeofPostTraumaticStress Disorderthatobtainedossifiedandfixatedandmutatedintoacharacterdisease.
Allnarcissistsaretraumatizedandthemallsufferfromplentyofputup-traumaticwarningsigns:abandonmentanxiety,
recklessbehaviors,tensionandmooddisorders,somatoformproblems,etc.Butthepresentingsignsofnarcissismhardly suggestsubmit-trauma.Thisisforthereasonthatpathologicalnarcissismisaneffectivecoping(safeguard)mechanism. Thenarcissistofferstotheareaafacadeofinvincibility,equanimity,superiority,skilfulness,cool-headedness, invulnerability,and,inshort:indifference.
Thisfrontispenetratedmerelyintimesofsignificantcrisesthatthreatenthenarcissist’scapacitytoreceivenarcissistic supply.Thenarcissistthen“fallsaside”inastrategyofdisintegrationreferredtoasdecompensation. Thedynamicforces whichrenderhimparalyzedandpretend–hisvulnerabilities,weaknesses,andfears–arestarklyexposedashisdefenses fallapartandbecomedysfunctional.Thenarcissist’scriticaldependenceonhissocialmilieufortheregulationofhis senseofselfesteemarepainfullyandpitifullyglaringashe'sdecreasedtobeggingandcajoling.
Atsuchinstances,thenarcissistactsoutself-destructivelyandanti-socially.Hismasksofgreatestequanimityispierced withtheaidofdisplaysofimpotentrage,self-loathing,self-pity,andcrassmakesanattemptatmanipulationofhispeers, lovedones,andcolleagues.Hisostensiblebenevolenceandworryingevaporate.Hefeelscagedandthreatenedandhe reactsasanyanimalcoulddo–viafabulousagainathisperceivedtormentors,athishitherto“nearest”and“dearest”.