3 minute read
PARENTS SBN Javier Acosta
Parents, a support or an obstacle?. I have always said that children are a reflection of parents, so being in mental, physical and emotional balance helps us avoid pain and hopelessness in our children, we must learn to live in harmony and being tolerant. If in your childhood you had unpleasant experiences, low self-esteem, or "You did not achieve your goals", the solution is not to copy the model of your upbringing or turn 360 degrees and the excuse that incubates mediocrity should not be: "nobody teaches us to be parents", pretending to see yourself reflected in your child, is extremely selfish and reflects your level of frustration. Frustrated parents unconsciously generate frustration in their children, transmitting their anxiety even without wanting it... The reasons why you grow with frustration can be several, the important thing is that in introspection and personal work you can change this behavior. Once we debut as parents, the ghosts of the past are the first to visit our mind and the first defense mechanism is the current Reyna of behaviors: overprotection. "It's my son and if I have how I give it to him", "It hurts me to see it like this, I give it to him", "I never had it, so I give it to him", "My son won, the jury was sold". Phrases like these, I have heard them on a number of occasions, I limit myself to saying to myself: they are not your children, do not get involved, but today I want to publicly express my feeling without making this writing particular, from these phrases will come those that consequently will make us suffer in the future. "If you don't help him, don't mess around", "His condition is different", "He is sick", "How much do you need?", "I apologize on behalf of my son then...". And many others... They must face... It is of the utmost importance, to exercise tolerance to frustration in children, obviously a frustrated parent will never be able to teach this because he does not have it, so that it will become a vicious circle that will gradually eat away at the entire family. What happens when our children grow up without this tolerance to frustration?, simple, they will be adults who at the first vicissitude collapse, at the first difference of opinions they feel attacked or today it is seen a lot that having an authority figure nearby or at work makes them clients of resignation and change of activity. In our hands is the future of our children and therefore the happiness of our old age, let us leave the traumas and ghosts aside, let us overcome our shortcomings, the family is the greatest treasure we have achieved, let us not go from the sublime to the ridiculous. Are you authoritarian, democratic or permissive? Your emotional stability should be so strong and healthy, that it guarantees the future non-codependency of your children. Teach them to enjoy the process and accept the results, to respect figures of example and authority, in my profession I ask you, do not meddle in the classes or work of the teacher, avoid the pain of cordially calling your attention or dispense with your membership once the beautiful tolerance is compromised, teach that a victory or defeat are the same, only that they teach different lessons, not to attack physically or verbally, not to copy behaviors of others and be themselves, to be honest more than skilled, in the future they will thank you, or I remind you that no one is so innocent that the court of their own conscience can escape.
Thank you. F. Javier Acosta Serrano Director CTAM
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