MOVING FORWARD

This speech was delivered on June 8, 2023, by Bianca Donatella Polito at Calvert's Class of 2023 graduation ceremony.

Good morning, faculty, staff, families, and students, I am honored to deliver my Eighth Grade Reflection to you as a member of the Calvert School graduating class of 2023.

Goodnight Moon, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, and Winnie the Pooh: These books all share something in common, and don’t worry, it’s not that these were the most challenging texts we ever had to read at Calvert. That honor belongs to the plays of William Shakespeare and the morning announcements of Mr. Norton, who used a remarkable combination of English, Latin, puns, and parentheticals in order to convey highlights from the previous day’s Frisbee golf contests. The books I mentioned are, of course, similar because they are all beloved children’s stories that feature memorable characters and illustrations. For many, these books conjure up warm feelings of the very subject of Goodnight Moon: the bedtime ritual. But is it the stories themselves that make these memories so powerful, or is it instead the unconditional love you felt when your parent tucked you in and kissed your forehead after the tales ended? I would argue that it’s the latter — powerful emotions are what help create memories that last a lifetime.

As we all know, emotions can be good or bad, happy or sad. But for me, it is the positive ones that I tend to remember most, the ones that have given me strength and supported me as I grow older. Of course, my family, who has always been there for me, is a constant source of positive emotion and thus, lots of great memories. Many fond recollections center on sharing meals together, from our regular Sunday pasta dinners to our annual Thanksgiving feasts, one of the highlights of which is when the whole family debates which food merits the title of “best dish.” My cousin, Caroline, can be counted on to advocate for the bacon-wrapped green beans, while my Uncle Joe reliably argues on behalf of the chestnut soup. I’m sure the Very Hungry Caterpillar would love both dishes, but what I love is how this time together connects the many people in my family, of all different ages, with love and laughter.

In recent years, traditions such as these were disrupted by the COVID-19 pandemic, which took a major emotional toll on families everywhere. This event changed our lives by isolating us from the outside world, and that sense of loneliness and loss certainly comes with its own memories. But not all I remember from the pandemic is necessarily bad. Since my parents are doctors, they had to work extra hours at the hospital, so my sister and I learned to be more independent and grew closer than we’ve ever been. This strong connection of sisterhood fueled the creation of new memoriesthose warm, cozy moments of lounging on the couch together while eating pigs in a blanket and watching hours on end of “Dance Moms.”

Neuroscientists and psychologists have long studied the connections between emotion and memory. Sigmund Freud, a famous psychoanalyst, was one of the first people to investigate the relationship between the two. He researched how people tend to suppress memories of traumatic events. It was later discovered that the hormone cortisol is significantly increased in stressful situations and can impair the formation of memories. Other scientists have found that the opposite is also true — that when in happy and secure environments, such as your home or around people you feel safe with, memories are easily stored. These feelings are boosted by the feel-good hormones dopamine and oxytocin.

This brings me back to my life full of emotions, memories, and family, including the people sitting both behind and in front of me: my family at Calvert. This has been a community that has supported me throughout the journey I have taken, from the very first handshake I got in Fifth Age to the handshake I am about to get from Mr. Holmgren — at least I hope. I remember how our teachers provided encouragement and guidance as we worked hard fostering monarch butterflies, perfecting folder papers, writing state reports, and presenting our Castalia projects. We may not remember every detail we learned here – candidates in the election of 1876, I’m thinking of you – but Calvert has instilled in us something even more important, a joy in learning that has been nurtured every step of the way.

Athletics is also something I will always remember about Calvert. In season after season of soccer, basketball, and lacrosse, there have been highs and lows. I forget the final results and who made a great pass and who scored, but what I do remember are the high fives, the hugs, and the cheers from on and off the sidelines. I remember us all making posters for big games and clapping for all of our teams at pep rallies in the gym. Those are the little things that show the spark of connection between friends, the ones that bring a happiness that winning a game alone cannot offer. Those are the memories that stick.

The same holds true for my memories of performing. This began in my sixth-grade year, when Calvert staged The Addams Family musical, or should I say “Zoomsical!” Although learning our lines was difficult, and rehearsals sometimes felt draining after a long day of school, there was a special kind of excitement in going to rehearsal each day and laughing hysterically at each other’s bloopers. The most fun, however, was developing friendships with classmates I did not know very well. We all circled up in the lower school gym, did final vocal warmups, and wished each other to break a leg. Again, while I may not recall each line or every lyric, I will take with me forever our collective feeling of accomplishment and joy after the curtain closed.

In academics, athletics, and the arts, you have all enriched my life over the past 10 years. And I don’t need science to prove what is obvious to me – that it was the joy of special times we spent together that I will remember most vividly.

Whether it is eating ice cream at the occasional sundae bar, looking forward to orange chicken lunches, or playing four square at recess, these little things are the memories I treasure most. As we transition to all of our new schools and go our separate ways, we will carry a little part of Calvert and each other with us through these wonderful memories. It makes me think of a line from one of those bedtime stories I mentioned at the beginning, Winnie the Pooh, “We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.”