OBJECTS OF AFFECTION

↑ Jeremiah never takes off his bracelets, each of which has special meaning. Mixed in with the more expected gold variety is one with the evil eye he bought on his travels to Turkey and a sentimental favorite made from alphabet beads by his daughter, Poppy.

↑ “The intimacy of having a table lamp on your kitchen island or counter is something that feels good to me. It just brings joy,” says Jeremiah. The Albano Poli lamp was a gift from his husband. “Nate loves to give me lamps. That’s our language.”

↑ This ottoman sits in the living room among the high-style contemporary furniture.

”We bought it for $30 at a flea market and had to stitch it up where it was torn. have no problem mixing high and low,” says Jeremiah.

BY LAURA CHÁVEZ SILVERMAN

Apair of tattered brown suede Birkenstocks worn by Steve Jobs in the ’70s and ’80s—the salad days of Apple—recently sold at auction for $218,750. The person who bought them was not planning to wear them, of course, but rather to own a piece of history, to touch the hem of the cape, as it were, of one of the superheroes of our time. How can something of such little intrinsic value be worth so much? Because objects of desire are priceless repositories of our hopes and dreams, intimate riddles of identity. It turns out that our most treasured possessions actually possess us, holding us captive with the silken bonds of memory. In the way that Rosebud embodied Charles Foster Kane’s longed-for childhood innocence, the things we cherish most are freighted with deep-seated meaning. They provide a grounding sense of self, a tangible feeling of belonging we can hold in our hands.

Who we are is inextricably intertwined with what we keep. “Between what a man calls ‘me’ and what he simply calls ‘mine,’ the line is difficult to draw,” wrote the eminent psychologist William James. Among the signifiers we accrue—designer shoes, status watches, rare books—there is always some mundane interloper, quirky and ephemeral, whose humble origins mean more to us than the grandest provenance. These are the belongings that reveal the essential truths; they tell the story of us.

A father who traveled around the world for work. “It was hard not to have him at home,” she recalls. This piece of jewelry he brought her from India a quarter century ago has encircled her wrist like a steady hand. She wore it to college, while running through city streets and woodlands, on her own trips to distant lands, when making her wedding vows, during the birth of her son. Through it all, the bracelet collected the inevitable dings and dents, acquiring character and patina. She had a few small pieces of gold from her jewelry collection melted down and used to reinforce the delicate patterned frame. A small diamond stone was added as a reminder of what matters most. Devotion to family. Love everlasting. The circle of life, softly gleaming.

Filled with wildflowers and left on a doorstep. “I was single for many years and totally fine with that because I’m independent and introverted,” she insists. “I always figured I’d meet my person when the time was right.” When she needed some work done on her property, he appeared as if on cue, hauling his backhoe. Big and burly, sweet and shy. He dug up that old bottle, washed the dirt, and arranged some flowers from her yard in it, oblivious to the teasing remarks of his coworkers. The humble bouquet was presented without a note because none was needed: She already knew who he was. The romance bloomed. To this day, the little bottle still holds fresh flowers he picks for her.

Painted and carved in the classic folk style. A tribute to family and culture of origin. “These belonged to my Swedish American partner of almost two decades,” he says. “We lost him to cancer last year.” The little wooden statues always had pride of place in their home. In his absence, they still do, conjuring his sweet, gentle spirit. The horses themselves evoke freedom of movement, a heroic journey. When a life of togetherness is cut short, the survivor becomes the steward of memories and tra- ditions. He must take the reins and ride on, adopted homeland always on the horizon.

Two lovers on opposite sides of the world. Theirs was an epistolary courtship. “This is a daily reminder to me of my parents’ courage,” she proclaims, “and of the many opportunities they have given me.” Her mother was a Greek immigrant. Her father fled communist Bulgaria for a refugee camp and was recruited by the U.S. Army. While living in Germany, he fell in love with her picture, shown to him by a multilingual friend, who acted as interpreter for their transatlantic correspondence. After two years, his proposal arrived by mail. She sent this dictionary along with her acceptance. They both used it to learn the common language of their future, transcending borders and obstacles to build a life of possibility.

Fought for and hard-won. Developed in the 1920s as a variation on the Japanese self-defense martial art, Brazilian jiujitsu allows a smaller, weaker person to fend off bigger, stronger opponents, taking the fight to the ground and using techniques that force them into submission. The white belt represents the first level, an introduction to the rigor and resilience required even of novices. “I’m a better designer, better salesman, better athlete, and all-around better human because of this practice,” he says, having progressed to the blue belt. An actual school of hard knocks, this combat sport teaches lessons in discipline, self-respect, and perseverance and invites practitioners into a community of noble warriors that live by their code on and off the mat.

6. TEDDY BEAR

A sacred talisman. A piece of her heart. “I’ve always had a fear of moving away from my family—of something happening to them and not being there to say goodbye,” she says. For years, it was a crippling thought that became reality the day Peepaw, the grandfather who raised her, passed away unexpectedly when she was far from home.

She was inconsolable, truly at a loss, until a friend presented her with this homemade bear crafted from the very shirt Peepaw wore to her high school graduation. The hind paws are appliquéd with lyrics from the Doris Day song “A Bushel and a Peck,” which Peepaw used to sing to her at bedtime. The bear has become a tool for strength, a badge of courage dressed in a ray of sunshine. It goes wherever she does and makes all those places home.

7.

NATIVE AMERICAN WEDDING VASE

Reclaiming Indigenous identity with love. “I feel like my story is special, in part because I did not marry a Native American man, like my mother wanted.” Although she did not grow up on the reservation or learn about her heritage from her parents, she is now a registered tribal member of the Seminole nation of Oklahoma and an unregistered member of the Cherokee nation. She was the first one in her family to powwow-dance and create beaded tribal jewelry. When it came time to marry her German American boyfriend, she used the traditional Native American wedding vase. During the ceremony, drinking from the double spouts represents two becoming one. Her intention is to pass this heirloom to her children when they marry, along with the knowledge and stories of their shared culture.

8.

Adventures in wonderland. Curiouser and curiouser. While beachcombing in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, she was approached by a local gentleman who inquired about the hole she was digging in the sand. When she confessed to be on the hunt for shark teeth, he smiled at her tenacity and led her down to the waterline, where he taught her how to look for the identifying glimmer, shape, and color. She persisted, honing her eye, and was rewarded. Each discovery felt like a triumph. “I was hooked for the rest of the afternoon,” she recalls. In fact, she’s joined the ranks of passionate lifelong naturalists who dream of finding the tooth of a megalodon, an extinct species of mackerel shark that lived about 23 million years ago.