Bring the spark back to any relationship through better sexual health

By Rory Visco Contributor

TH e m onth of February is known as heart month.

This month is not only about raising awareness about the health of your heart; it is also about the matters of the heart. February is also known as love month.

There is, however, nothing permanent in life since things tend to wane after being effective for a while.

Human relationships are not exempted from this, particularly in the area of intimacy, sexual intimacy for that matter, between couples. Over time, couples may experience certain highs and lows at one point in their togetherness. Some may feel the excitement dwindling due to a lot of factors, even among couples whose sexual activity is at a high level. This can be due to work or family stress, health matters, or when the sexual activity itself is becoming more routine or worse, boring.

If you feel like your sexual health, which the World Health Organization (WHO) describes as “a state of physical, emotional, mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality,” is becoming a matter of grave concern that might affect your relationship, better have it checked through sexual medicine, a medical specialty that deals with sexual health.

Re-create the spark in romance

DR. Frederick Mendiola, a urologist with a subspecialty in Minimally Invasive Urology and a special interest in Sexual Medicine, an active consultant at the St. Luke’s Medical Center–Bonifacio Global City and Jose R. Reyes Memorial Medical Center, said there are possible ways to recreate and enliven the excitement and intimacy in any romantic relationship.

He said couples can start by trying to discover something new in their relationship to give themselves a different perspective and break the monotony by trying some other romantic dinner spots, heading off to exotic vacation destinations, or even go to the extent of exploring bedroom activities they’ve never done before. “This could push couples out of their comfort zone that could lead to more thrilling and satisfying encounters,” shares Dr. Mendiola.

Another could deal with the “touch” aspect where couples can touch each other more often, like giving the partner a massage, holding hands or through hugging, where Dr. Mendiola shared that according to researchers, people need at least 12 hugs a day to thrive. All these are underrated ways to reduce stress and rekindle the passion in a relationship.

“There are different kinds of desires. Men are driven by spontaneous desire, which does not need any stimulus. On the other hand, women are driven by receptive desire, which is sparked by touch. This makes physical stimulation very important to them,” said Dr. Mendiola, who is at the forefront in the practice of Sexual Medicine in the Philippines, being an active member of the e uropean Society for Sexual Medicine and a committee member of the membership committee of the International Society for Sexual Medicine, explains.

Allot quality time WITH the kind of workload that people have today with mobility restrictions being eased and having to go to work on-site, everyday life can be so hectic again that people may tend to forget to allot qual - ity time with their partners. Dr. Mendiola said couples can try to make intimacy a priority in their lives. He said couples can schedule an evening, like in a weekend, just for the two of them, with no worries about kids, office work, or even home errands. An effective trick, he said, is to make each other look forward to that day by sending the partner what he called a “meeting invite,” and tell each other what they can look forward to during their “meeting.”

If and when the possibility of e r ectile Dysfunction ( e D) pops us about the lowdown in the intimacy, Dr. Mendiola suggests that the male partner seek treatment. He said e D c an be frustrating for couples, especially for men. “It can lead to performance anxiety and self-esteem issues. e D c an be managed with the right treatment, depending on severity and duration of illness.”

For this, Dr. Mendiola, one of two Filipinos who have completed a course with the e uropean Society for Sexual Medicine ( e S SM)School of Sexual Medicine in Budapest, Hungary, recommends GentlePro machine by Zimmer, a non-invasive shockwave treatment that was first offered in the country back in 2020. The treatment promotes better blood circulation for enhanced performance, a treatment that has no known downtime with no side effects.

However, Dr. Mendiola reminds that sexual medicine is not just about treatment of e D, but also covers treatments of sexual problems or sexual dysfunction in BOTH men and women.

He reiterated that communication between partners is likewise important, where sending the partner a casual or playful text message is enough. It can be a sexy way for couples to let each other know what’s on their mind. “There’s a lot of things we can do to be romantic and a simple text message can be an important key to a beautiful evening,” Dr. Mendiola said.