Empowerment Panel

from Bursting Through Connections Issue 4

by Bursting Through

Ally of the Year

National Out Ally Day

Empowerment Panel

The Empowerment Panel

The National Out Ally Day empowerment panel was created to bring together subject matter experts to share their knowledge and talk to us through their lenses, life experiences and expertise.

Our empowerment panel included a politician, a faith leader/therapist, an educator and a business owner. Many of them are also parents of straight and queer kids.

During the National Out Ally Day opening reception, we gathered questions for the panel from our audience.

Our Empowerment Panel

KJ- Political and Government Expert

Michael - Education Expert and parent

Kara Jenkins—affectionately known by colleagues and friends as “KJ”—has been a public servant for the state of Nevada for over 10 years.

At present, she proudly serves as the Administrator to the Nevada Equal Rights Commission. A proud HBCU grad, KJ is lawyer by education, a Harvard Kennedy School of Government alumna and is running for Las Vegas Mayor in 2024.

Michael Colby Doefler is a Clark County Las Vegas Community School District elementary school teacher. Michael is a multiple Heart of Education Award nominee.

He is a loving and supportive husband to Bart and the proud father of a daughter,Lorelei.

He is preparing to be an empty nester as his Lorelei prepares for college this fall.

Rev Nicholas- Faith Leader and parent

Angela- Business Expert and parent

Nicholas L. Neubauer, LCSW, ACS is a native Las Vegas, Nevadan. As a life-long Las Vegan, a husband, father, professional/business owner, member of several community organizations, advocate, and Priest serving The Episcopal Church.

Nicholas cares deeply about and is heavily involved in the community and that of its collective residents. Outside of his professional role(s), Nicholas is husband to his wife, Brooke, and father to four children.

Angela Rene’ is the founder and operator of Rene’ Tyler who creates contemporary designs for women sizes 12 and above.

In 2016, Rene’ Tyler made history as the first-ever plus-size brand to show at LA Fashion Week. She opened the first-ever plus-size boutique on the Las Vegas Strip, at The Grand Canal Shoppes at The Venetian Resort.

In 2020 the boutique opened at the Fashion Show Mall. She was recently featured in the September issue of Vegas Magazine as one of 2022’s Dynamic Women.

The midterms have been dubbed the rainbow wave with over 430 LGBTQ candidates winning up and down ballots. In your opinion as a government official, can this give us hope about reversing the trend of increasing anti-LGBTQ legislation, which ramped up in the last two years?

Kara

A.

Regarding legislation, yes, I’m really happy Nevada voted yes on the equal rights act. We already have state legislation that really protects people but to put it in the constitution does afford protections for everyone regardless of their race, color, national origin, gender identity or expression of that identity, your ability or your disability, your age or your religion.

This is really important because when you have state laws that can be enforced at the court level you can fall back on the state constitution if the federal government is not acting right.

We have some trying times. We have a lot of voices coming in but the more you make your voices known the better we all are. I was recently called to stand with the Latino Student Association at Nevada State College because they were getting a lot of hate literature distributed on campus.

One of the things I was asked was, “What can we do?” I encouraged them to take note of the civil rights movement that had the benefit of embracing everybody but was really rooted in black activism and that is YOU HAVE TO BE SEEN EVEN IF YOU ARE AFRAID. Do it… make good trouble.

We are riding a great rainbow wave and yes that matters and that helps and you have to help support your friends

Q. Michael- Education and Parenting

How do we talk to our children about anti-LGBTQ legislation like Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay”? More specifically, how do we, as parents, share our outrage at this kind of legislation without instilling fear not our children?

I am trying to be very thoughtful about this question. I am a school teacher and I am also gay. I have been with my husband for 22 years and we have a 17 year old daughter who is a senior in high school.

Michael

The legislation is terrifying and it opens up a really strange can of worms. I don’t feel as an educator that it is our place to discuss with kindergarten through third graders (where I teach) gender or sexual identity

That might be controversial coming from a gay man but to actually activate that into legislation is very scary because it gives the parents permission to then attack the teacher and administrators in the school if ANYTHING comes up like even my husband coming to help me decorate my classroom for a Halloween party. I am now is a position where I have to be creative when introducing my husband to my students. I say thing like, “This is my relative” or, “This is Mr. Bart” .

My students are 8, so they are like “Oh, hi Mr. Bart” I teach third grade and they don’t think about it at all. By fifth grade they are like, “Is Mr. Bart your boyfriend?” and I say no but we are related and then they realize he is my husband and they really don’t think anything of it. I fear this legislation and this kind of legislation or the kind of words like “DON’T SAY GAY” puts it out there that this is something bad and it is almost a way of teaching the children that being LGBTQ+ is not a good thing or that it isn’t ok.

It’s like taking a 50 year step backward. To tell kids “you can’t say that, it’s not ok, it’s not appropriate” is not right.

Kara added: Laws are meant to protect communities, to uplight people and be a bridge between government and people to help essential needs. But when a law is trying to control your personal life, which is different than personal safety like a speed limit. There is a fundamental difference between laws that are meant to control you as opposed to laws that are meant to liberate you. It’s important to realize that difference.

Michael continued: I discussed this topic with my daughter, who identifies as bi-sexual. I don’t think that talking to your children about this is negative or bad but showing them outrage is not going to be helpful either.

When we sat down to talk about it today, my 17 year old daughter said, “I don’t think you need to talk about it with 8 year olds but I don’t think people should be making laws about this.” We shouldn’t show our outrage to our children but we should be teaching them about compassion, understanding and inclusion.

Our children need to understand that everybody is different and everyone deserves love and compassion. Creating legislation that puts away that love and compassion is very unfair and scary.

Q. Nicholas- Faith and Mental Health

How do I reconcile my Christian faith, which tells me homosexuality is wrong and a sin, with my love for my LGBTQ loved ones? Are they really going to die and go to hell?

When I first heard this question it broke my heart but I do this for a living and I am also a therapist and know there is no shortage of folks that feel this way. It’s important to understand that they don’t feel that way on their own. They feel this way because that is what they were taught and that is how the world behaved around them.

Reverend Nicholas

Again, I know a lot of people feel that way and that makes me feel truly blessed to be here tonight and be able respond to this question because the reality of it is: You have nothing to reconcile.

You are a child of God and God made you just the way you are. AMEN to that and if there is any reconciliation to be done it is the reconciliation of the Christian faith with the Queer Community.

To that end, the church has hurt people in many ways over time for perversions of theology and are mostly rooted in people trying to manipulate scripture, trying to manipulate or own God. Nobody owns God but you. That is it.

Beyond that, when we talk about the Christian faith saying that homosexuality is a sin, we need to think about what ISN’T a sin. If you go through the Bible enough you are bound to find a sin in about everything that you do.

I'M SURE I’M SINNING NOW, LOOK AT ME!

The thing is that reconciliation is not necessary because just over 2000 years ago we were all reconciled through the sacrifice offered through Jesus Christ. We are beyond that. If you read the Bible and you come out of it with whoever and however you are that you are bad, you are reading it wrong.

There are a lot of words in the Bible that are scary and hard to understand but if you understand the context, if you understand the history and if you look at who the writers were, what their culture was like at the time there are a lot of things to be discussed about that

Do not have anxiety about going to hell. I don’t believe hell is a real destination. We come from love, we are born into love, we are created from love. From dust we are made and from dust we shall return. WE ARE ALL GOING BACK TO LOVE.

People who tell other they are going to hell do not have that authority and are sinning by telling you that.

Q. Angela- Business and Humanity

What advice can you give small business owners, especially LGBTQ business owners, about how to create successful businesses given the current economic course correction the world is going through?

Angela

Being straight and being a fashion designer and having a store in Fashion Show Mall, I am all about the glitter and the glam and I have so many people in the queer community who are my customers. For me, it’s really a no brainer because I have always been inclusive.

You have to let people know they are welcome. Vegas is a small place that still

relies on word of mouth. It is important to let people know it is safe for them to come into your space. I have a lot of customers who are transitioning that come in, especially younger customers. I see them when they come in and I know they know they are welcomed. If you Google my business you see the Pride Flag so they come to my business. You have to let them know when they walk through that door that they are a human being, they are special and they belong.

I really believe in the power of social media in this instance. Social media has helped my business grow, especially through Covid. During lockdown, I had to reevaluate how to make money and it was online, rebranding, adjusting my designs to reflect what people needed.

As a business owner you have to get out there and know what is going on with your business and with people. You have to be involved in the community and come to events like this where you are surrounded by like-minded people and you can let them know what you can do for them.

My advice would be: Be out there, be who you are, let the Queer community know you exist and that you welcome them.

Thank you to our empowerment panel for their time, knowledge and compassion.

To watch the entire empowerment panel discussion including additional questions and answers, click here and go to time stamp 1:11:30. National Out Ally Day