Your mother was never alone

marta rodríguez Nurse Las Rozas Care Home

There are times when people want answers but all you can do is listen. Words are not enough. The best thing you can do is to be there at someone’s side so they don’t feel alone. This is the residents’ home. As well as our rooms, there are big common areas with gardens, trees, grass and flowers, as well as a vegetable garden. We have residents from the age of 73 upwards. I even had a patient of 101 years old. Less than half of them are totally independent. At the moment, in August, we have 109 residents. All this peace and quiet was broken in March when Covid broke in on our lives. Eva, our director, had to make tough decisions. And she had to make them quickly and safely. We had to move many patients from their rooms to make an isolation zone. We had to tell them why we were doing this and help them understand. All the residents were tested and the results took us completely by surprise. Many of our residents had Covid and we had the break the news to the team and the residents’ families. I don’t want to revisit that grief, it was horrible to think how we wouldn’t be able to look after our residents like before and how we would have to say goodbye to some. That, for me, was the hardest thing of all. I remember I went down to my office and burst into tears. The director sent me home: Go home, you’re not doing so well. I said: I am fine. I just need to have a good cry. Could I just have a cry? I didn’t want to worry her and let her see my suffering, but I really needed to do that to help me get through.

MADRID — SPAIN

It must be said, Sanitas quickly set up a system where you could speak to a psychologist on the phone if you needed to.* I am 42 years old and have been with Sanitas since I was 16. I think nursing gets top marks for its support and care of people, and we have adapted to a very different environment, which has really changed us (drips for intravenous care, individual protection equipment (ppe), deserted rooms, everything happening behind closed doors, hallways buzzing, but not with residents…). Despite the chaos, we had some beautiful moments. Like the time one of our residents’ wives was hospitalised and we couldn’t get in touch with her. I tried finally with my own mobile and managed to get through. I said to her: We are calling you so you can speak to your husband, as he is not very well, shall I pass the phone to him? She said: Yes, yes, put him on… I want to talk to him. Our resident couldn’t hold the phone so I had to put it on speaker. Wow! Those two really loved each other! Their conversation was so moving and emotional. Sadly, it was their last conversation, as he died some hours later. At some point in a team meeting our director suggested that we authorise one family member to accompany residents who were dying. The family were very glad to be able to come. Being there at the deathbed meant a lot to them, even if they couldn’t hug or kiss their loved one and they were wrapped up in ppe.

Last July, we were able to hold a funeral with families for deceased residents. A tree was planted in the grounds of the home as a symbol of resilience. I think that was a special moment for all of us, both families and staff.

I love my work and it is a part of me. Some people have made us out to be super-heroes. No, we are not super-heroes, we are nurses, and that word in itself means everything to me.

I remember the daughter of one resident saying to me: the only thing I ask for is that if my mother has to die, she should not be alone. I answered her: I have seen her about ten times today and she isn’t talking much. When I go in it’s just to change the drip or give her intravenous antibiotics… But each time I have taken her hand and spoken to her. I want you to know that your mother has someone nearby at all times. Last July, we were able to hold a remembrance service with families for deceased residents. A tree was planted in the grounds of the home as a symbol of resilience. I think that was a special moment for all of us, both families and staff. I am married and have two children – a girl of 8 years old and a boy of 6. For months, we have been isolating at home. I even slept in a separate room at the beginning. The children were very good about me going to work. One day is etched on my memory, when I was in the shower and the little one came in with his favourite teddy … He came in to use the toilet and left his teddy next to my clean clothes. I could see him from the shower and saw how his little fingers were stroking my clothes at the same time as his teddy. He was stroking mummy’s clothes! My husband, my rock, never told me of his fear, but I could see it on his face. All the employess were tested and when I got the result, I told him: It’s negative. We had to make a decision together on where to go from there. Two days later I told the children: You can go outside and play now, and I think we can go back to a bit of normality in the house... These have been very difficult times, but I am happy to be strong and proud of where I am today. I love my work and it is a part of me. Some people have made us out to be super-heroes. No, we are not superheroes, we are nurses, and that word in itself means everything to me. Nursing doesn’t only heal, it cares. �