Finding My Voice

Finding My Voice By Yvonne Mason

How many of us have heard this expression over and over? “You need to find your voice.”

For many of us, like myself, it came very late in life. And when I say late in life, I mean like my 50’s. I lived most of my life in fear. I was afraid of just about everything. I was afraid to speak up, stand by my convictions, voice my own opinion or even be comfortable enough to be competitive.

I allowed people to use me, and even abuse me because I lived in fear. Until I didn’t. Until I realized that if I did not speak up, did not find my voice and did not use it, no one would ever know I had been here. I would become just another sad, pitiful, unsuccessful person who faded off into obscurity after my journey here was completed.

When the desire to use my voice became stronger than my fear of speaking, things happened. Was it always pleasant? No, it was not and some days it still isn’t. Do I have haters? Of course, I do. Do I have people in my life who are jealous? You bet I do. But on the other hand, there are those who I impact in a different way. Those who learn to have their voice. To speak up and be heard, to stand their ground. To hold fast to their convictions, to sometimes stand alone because others will not stand with them, due to fear of reprisal.

It is more than okay.

Finding one’s voice is freeing. It is like a rebirth of sorts. One understands that it is okay to disagree, it is okay to be different. It is more than okay to stand out from the crowd instead of being lost in the crowd. Finding one’s voice is a way of leading instead of following. It is a way of sharing success and failures. It is the way to inspire, aspire, and teach.

Is it easy? Oh no. Is it worth the risk? Absolutely. Will you sometimes have to fly alone? Oh, indeed. But the view is breathtaking. Will finding your voice take you places you never thought you would travel? Without a doubt.

The key to all of the above is simple, once you find that voice. Speak softly, yet firmly. Learn that sometimes silence speaks volumes. Yes, surprisingly enough, that is part of finding one’s voice. Learn to think through the words before they are spoken out loud. Use fewer words but use words that are impactful, words that stay with another person even if they disagree. Make people lean in, to not only hear you, but to listen. In finding your voice, you have given a voice to so many who no longer have one.

, Yvonne Mason Sewell is the author of 17 books including bUneke M A G A Z I N E .org 26three true crimes and she is the National Photographer for the U.S. JCI Senate. Twitter.com/yvonnemason

Finding Peace in Passing – Part 2 Honestyis the PainfulPolicy

By Tony Taylor

Tony Taylor is a writer/filmmaker who has been a member of the Florida film community since 1994. He writes for bUneke Magazine and hosts bUneke UnScripted as he continues creating groundbreaking films.

There is no resolution as the title would indicate. At my lowest in 2002, when I knew that I needed a counselor to help slash through the overwhelming depression, total honesty with my counselor was the mandate. Without honesty, help would be hopeless, and there would be no ability to counter depression and all of its cruelty.

At this moment, the pain of losing my sister is the state I live in daily. As I write, I am now at 11 months, and I’ll be honest with you. I am not living, but I’m existing with pain.

Finding peace with trauma is an open-ended statement and does not mean what the surface implies. Every goal is reachable. How you get there is what transforms your struggle to reach it.

I haven’t found peace. I have numbed its daily clawing that rips me apart, leaving pieces of myself behind. It’s brought peace through destructive means. consciousness. Acceptance of the kind of scripts chosen is ours alone to make.

Our brains create desire. Controlling our reality, our minds know only that it needs what it needs, never considering how to get there. The guiding spirit of our faith - good or bad - controls the method. If the spirit is broken, all that is left is unrestricted desire.

I chose.

I have consciously applied the quick fix to the unimaginable and unthinkable. I chose, and now face the demons which latch on to you when you self-medicate. During these past 11months, my decision to drink, smoke, and ignore those around me have helped numb the pain. I know nothing else but to end this pain.

I also know from past experiences with friends and family what the outcome will lead to, but I now understand why they chose to put that loaded gun to their head. I’m sorry. There is no happy ending here at the moment.

Acceptance is our choice.

Mental pain, unlike physical pain, can’t be healed. Its cure can only be found through a choice of prescriptions within the My spirit is broken. All of those roads I have chosen have no signposts up ahead. My creativity, my loves, and my meaning have no direction. All that matters is just reaching the destination, the place of no pain. With no direction, I don’t care how I get there, but what I know at this moment is that the pain has to end. I am lost at the moment because my spirit is gone.

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