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A Very Smqltr Btrsiness

According to the Christian Science Monitor, a number of young women had joined forces to operate a small store, and one of them was asked by an inquisitive friend what her position vras in the firm. She replied that she was assistant treasurer.

"Fleavens!" said the friend, "is the business so large that it takes two people to handle the money?"

"Oh, no," was the laughing reply; "It is so small that it takes two people to FIND the money."

Murder crnd Punishment

Study the murder records of the world and you easily discover that the murder rate is high where punishment is doubtful, and light where punishment is swift and certain. Killers are scarce in those parts of the world where killers are locked up and quickly brought to justice; where the killer and not the deceased is tried in court, arld where lightly made excuses have no weight in the destruction of human lives. In such places Justice rules homicide trials, and when the trial is over, Justice smiles.

War

By Richard Le Gallienne.

War, I do abhor; and yet how sweet

The sound along the marching street

Of drum or fife, and I forget Broken old mothers, and the whole Dark butghering without a soul.

Without a soul-save this bright treat

Of heady music, sweet as hell; And even my peace-abiding feet

Go marching with the marching street, For yonder goes the fife, And what care f for human life?

The tears fill my astonished eyes, And my full heart is like to break, And yet it is embannered lies, A dream those drummers make.

Oh, it is wickedness to clothe

Yon hideous, grinning thing that stalks

Hidden in music like a queen

That in a garden of glory walks, Till good men love the thing they loathe; Art, thou hast many infamies, But not an infamy like this.

O, snap the fife and still the drum, And show the monster as she is.

The Mcrgic otr Words

There is an ancient legend which tells us that when a man first achieved a most notable deed he wished to explain to his tribe what he had done.

As soon as he began to speak, howeve:', he was smitten with dumbness, he lackedr words, and sat down. Then there arose-according to the story-a masterless man, one who had taken no part in the action of his fellow, who had no special virtues, but afflicted-that is the phrase-with the magic of the necessary words.

He saw, he told, he described the merits of the'notable deed in such a fashion, we are assured, that the words "became alive and walked up and down in the hearts of all his hearers." Thereupon the tribe, seeing that the words were certainly alive, and fearing lest the man with the words would hand down untrue tales about them to their children, they took and killed him.

But later they saw that the magic was in the words, not in the man.

Complete Control

A Grandma, famous for her placid spirit and complete control of her nerves, sat knitting in the front windorv of the family home, when.one of her grandchildren rushetl in and excitedly exclaimed:

"Oh, Grandma! The carpenter who was putting on the new shingles just fell off the roof."

"I know, dear child," said Grandma, quietly; "I saw him pass the window."

Dillerent Names

The Kings of Peru were the Incas, And well were they known as big drincas, They worshipped the sunAnd they had lots of funBut the peasants all said they were stincas.

Carelul

A customer in a Boston animal store was contemplating the purchase of a parrot, which, however, gave no signs of ability to talk. He just looked at her and glared, and said nothing.

"Doesn't he talk?" asked the prospective purchaser.

"Yes, he does," replied the salesman, "but he doesn't want to be quoted."

My Dog

I am quite sure he thinks that I am God, Since He is God on whom each one depends, For life and all things that His bounty sends, Mv dear ord dog' TilffH'H,:"J.Tiff:t"

Los Angeles Hoo-Hoo Club Events For Coming Year

The executive committee of the Los Angeles lloo-Hoo Club met at the Rodger Young Auditorium, Los Angeles, for luncheon Monday, September 24, when arrangements u'ere made for the meetings to be held during the 1951-1952 Hoo-Hoo year. President J. W. Fitzpatrick presided. Thc. s,chedule of meetings and the arrangement committees for the coming year follow:

October 19, 1951. Dinner meeting and Concatenation. Chairman, "Butch" I{arringer. Co-Chairmen, Harl Crockett and Ed Martin.

November 16. 1951. Luncheon meeting. Chairman, Don Bufkin. Co-Chairmen, George Clough and Dee Essley.