Vagabond Editorials

(Continued about an equal amount for irrigation purposes in the West to bring arid lands under cultivation and make them produce'

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The other day a famous newspaper publisher who has been stoutly supporting the New Deal wrote Mr. Roosevelt and told him that business men who were formerly New Dealers are not only hostile but frightened at the wild legislation and the wild spending, and asked for a reply. The daily press blazoned the news that tfie President replied that he was going to give business "a breathing spell." The stock rnarket boomed as a consequence. Think of that for a demonstration of how quickly we would get well if we had definite assurance that the spending orgy and tlre Government-in-every-business policy was over ! Today you couldn't finance a new peanut stand in this country. Private capital is just as timid as it has been in years. Take the scare of unwise legislation, destructive taxes, and obnoxious interference away, and I honestly believe that every employable man in this country would be employed by Christmas; and we could keep the five billiott and not have it for an additional burden.

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Suggested Ethiopian theme song: "Black boys, why are you blue?" ***

Visitor in New York goes into hotel barber shop for a shave. Dark skinned, dark eyed barber lathers his face and whets razor. Then, with blade poised he asks: "My fran, whata you thinka Mussolini?" "I think the same way as you do," said the man in the chair. "But howa you know what I think about Mussolini?" "I don't care what you think," said the philosopher in the chair. "I think the same. YOU'VE GOT THE RAZOR.' rfrt*

Irvin Cobb suggests we send our next diplomatic note to the Russian goverrunent by a convoy of all Russian aliens in this country-on a one way ticket. What we need at Washington is a few more humorists.

*:rt( from Page 6) rt was Ellis Parke, "rr.i"r lrnl *-." "Pigs is Pigs." At the time that was written it was correct. But today pigs is gold. And breakfast bacon is platinum.

Chickens DO cbme home to roost. Even Russian chickens. We "recognized" that fine Government (whose proudest aim is to tear down THIS Government), hoping to get a few dimes in trade by so doing. As the nigger said, "We done traded ouah buthright fo' a pota message, or a messa potash, or whatevah it is de Good Book say." Now we're trying to get our birthright back. Smart people woulda kep it.

Snooty, these Russians ! The Russian Government assures us that she doesn't even know the Communist Internationale-the gang that met for several weeks in Russia and passed resolutions every day aiming at. the destruction of the United States. Now isn't thdt just too bad? Well, why not? 'We're asked to believe every other fool thing on earth, these daYs. WhY not that?

How to rnake a round ;; J a square hole has alwavs been a problem. How to make the same salary that paid fifteen cents for bacon cover fifty cent bacon is a much more interesting one todaY.

The other day I read --"Un"*, debate between the editors of two big newspapers. The question was, who said: "A certain amount of feas are good for a dog; they keep him from worrying about being a dog." The first editor used the quotation and credited it to James Whitcomb Riley. The second corrected him and said it was from the book "David Harum." Poor old Josh Billings, rural philosopher of forty years ago! They have forgotten you and one of your most lamous remarks. .**'t

One of the great troubles with this country during the past five years is that everyone has been so busy with the depression that they have quit reading. Some wise man said that reading the wise words of the thinkers of the past cosrpensates us in some measure for the mediocrity of today. A revolution toward the history, philosophy' and better literature of the past would be grand medieine for the American people.

However, r am remin;; ttl. or"rr mountaineer who raised six stalwart sons, and it was a matter of pride along the mountain side that all six of the boys walked up to the polls every election day and "voted her straight." But one fall the news spread that one of the boys had back-slid and voted the Republican ticket. A bunch of the old he-coons came dolvn to interview the old man on the subject. He said, "Yep, it's a fact. I raised them six boys in the fear of God and the Baptist faith, and taught 'em to vote the Democratic, ticket straight every fall. But Zeke, doggone his hide ! He got to readin'."

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