To sell or not to sell: That is the question

ffnvler. SserespeeRs's melancholy Dane, vacillated Ilso long trying to make up his mind about whether to move forward with his plans that his indecision finally threw the entire kingdom into turmoil and brought about his own death.

In my consulting practice, I often see family business owners struggling with their own and other family members' emotional ambivalence over taking the difficult step of selling the business. Although I haven't yet seen this emotional ambivalence lead to death, I've seen it result in turmoil, protracted agony, significant loss, and a tortured legacy that ends up negatively impacting many family members and employees.

Owners who have spent considerable time and energy building their businesses are usually not emotionally prepared to sell. They and family members-even members not directly involved in the operation-have invested considerable identity in it. I've often heard an owner describe their businesses as their "baby." Understandably, when the time comes to give it up, an owner wants to leave the baby in the right hands-the hands of someone who, among other things, will pay the right price, take care of employees, grow the business, and honor the seller's legacy and connection. Of course, this ideal buyer probably doesn't exist, and holding out for such a buyer can become an excuse for inaction.

Selling a business is like facing the empty nest, but more difficult. As parents, we know years ahead of time that our child will someday leave and we spend much of our time preparing for it. Most family-business owners, however, assume that the business will always be, if not in their hands, at least connected to them in some meaningful way. For this reason, anticipating the process of selling long in advance helps prepare for when the time finally arrives. But powerful emotional forces prevent most families from doing this.

The importance of alignment. Like the empty nest, selling the business can feel like a personal crisis, a tremendous opportunity, or both. If selling the business is the best option to pursue, all family members should align behind this as an opportunity. If they fail to align, the ambivalence, never directly addressed, plays out in acrimonious and never-ending disagreements about the details of the potential sale. When this happens, the sale will be either completely undermined or if it does go through, it will very likely result in post-transaction bitterness and resentment and a hauntins sense of loss.

Just as clear, consistent communication between family members is essential for operating the business, it is also essential in the final stages of the business. The same factors that can impede communications during any part of the business's life cycle can interfere toward the end. Family business leaders, used to being decisive and action oriented, are often better at making decisions than at promoting discussion and communicating the right things to the right people.

Differences in alignment can also occur between various individuals or group within the family, between generations, between active and inactive family members, or between different branches of the family. Each of these groups and members within groups will have different perspectives on the value of selling the business. Communicating to all in the same manner may not address their concerns about a sale.

In the powerful and shifting realm of emotions, maintaining firm alignment requires an ongoing process. Once the sale process has been launched and the search for a buyer and subsequent negations unfolds, families should hold regular family update meetings. This not only reassures family members and helps craft an ongoing consensus, but sends a clear message to the family, employees, and potential buyers that an orderly process will ensure that everyone's best interests are being addressed.

Dealing with grief and loss. If grief and loss were not inevitable parts of our existence, we probably wouldn't spend so much time and energy trying to avoid them. Recognizing what the sale of the business means in terms of loss to each family member is the first step toward managing these feelings. Some family members may fear that without the glue of the business, people will drift further apart. Others, for whom the family business provides an important part of their identity or meaning in life, may feel like they're losing part of themselves. Others may fear for their economic future or, even more powerfully, for their children's economic future.

I help people manage these fears by reminding them that while the sale represents the end of something, it also marks the beginning of something else. I often advise people to retire /o something, not from something, to develop a vision for the future. It helps to remember that loss paves the way for something new, such as a new asset, which may require a different kind of energy, interest and attention.

Family members who fear the loss of cohesiveness may wish to form new collaborative relationships with each other-working to benefit their communities, establishing a shared philanthropic venture. jointly managing a portion of the assets from the sale, or continuing to hold regular family retreats. Re-visioning the future can be useful (or even necessary) project for one person or for the entire family.

Farewell rituals can also help family members say good-bye and free them to move forward. Whether it's a raucous wake, a farewell cruise, a solemn retreat, or a privately published commemorative book, a ritual or project honors the importance of the past and the present, and helps prepare for the future.

When emotions and logic work together, they create an energy and synergy that make for successful family business. But when they clash, they are like the collision of high and low pressure systems that create tornadoes and hurricanes. When the timing or circumstances for selling the business seem right, or even imperative, but the fear and loss of grief prevent the family from following through, the result can be catastrophic. Ironically, years later. the end result is the same whether the transition goes smoothly or disastrously: The landscape will have changed and something new will have grown.

Change, loss and renewal are inevitable. The crucial difference is how families go through it. Recognizing, addressing and honoring the powerful feelings that the sale of a family business evokes helps ease the most difficult, yet natural, of transitions.

- Bernard Kliska is an associate of the Family Business Consulting Group, Marietta, Ga. He can be reached at (800) 5 5 I -063 3 or kliska@ efamilybusine ss.com. Reprinted ||ith permission from The Family Business Advixtr, a <:opyrighted publication d Family Enterprise Publishers. No portion of this article may be reproduced without permission oJ Fumily Enterprise Publishers.

Exclusive Northern California distributor of New Also Northern California distributor orWindsorOnePlus Ff sidings & trim .3o-yearwarranty.ProprietaryprimingprocessoSCSairqualitystandards,indoors&out {#S And carrying complete lines of RedwOOd DoubLe Primed, Clear Redwood FJ trim & siding. Att

VG. f r High-end Green & Dry solid lumber,

COii PASS LUM BER PRODUCTS

Cotati, CA . l-8,oo -lTt- 9t25 . www.com passlu m ber.com

Specialists in lumber products for Elegant Outdoor Living

W\^/\^/.FONTANA SALELT'N4BER.CO\/I

Interior Fire

1214 ffi 909 -r":is$i|

TREATERS WITH INTEGRITY, TAKING CARE OF TOMORROW'S NEEDS TODAY

ACQ.BORATES.D-BLAZEcT HEAT TREATING.CUSTOM DRYING 1.SPM /,' COMPLIANT. RAIL SERVICE (BNSF) ,,\(sViance*'

Jim Taft, general mgr., Ganahl Lumber Co., Anaheim, Ca., will retire at the end of the year after nearly 40 years with the chain. He will be succeeded by Mark Ganahl, who will be replaced as general mgr. in Corona, Ca., by Mike Shumaker. Barrett Burt was named general mgr. of Ganahl's new store in Pasadena, Ca.

Chris Pellico, ex-Sunset Forest Products, has joined Talon Forest Group/AFA, Portland, Or.

Bob Shroeder, v.p. of operations, Pacific Woodtech Corp., Burlington, Wa., has retired after 35 years, the last 12 with Pacific Woodtech. He remains on the board of directors until the end of the year.

Shawn Mills, branch mgr., ABC Supply, Colorado Springs, Co., was promoted to a managing partner, along with Ron Ferguson, Fort Collins, Co., and Josh Freeman, Longmont, Co.

Ray Smith has been promoted to c.e.o. of ECOZ Forests. Boulder. Co.

Van Kelly is a new marketing specialist at Capital, Salt Lake City, Ut.

Ron Davis has joined Gaco Western's WallFoam division as regional mgr. for Colorado, Utah, New Mexico, and Wyoming. Chris Mayer is now regional mgr. in the Pacific Northwest, and Aaron Kralovic, regional mgr. overseeing California, Arizona and Nevada.

William R. "Bill" Corbin, exWeyerhaeuser, has been appointed chairman of the board for Atlas Holdings' Wood Resources LLC, Olympia, Wa.

Bill Nocerino, ex-Follen Wood Preserving, has been named mgr. of Forest2Market' s lumber division.

Michele LaMori has joined Barrette Outdoor Living as director of sales, to help launch the Xpanse line through two-step distribution. Memphis, Tn.-based Quinton Stine, ex-Primesource, is handling national account business.

James Metcalf, president and c.o.o., USG Corp., will succeed William C. Foote as c.e.o. Jan. 1. Foote will remain executive chairman.

Scott Lindsay is new to cedar sales at Skana. Richmond. B.C.

Luis Fernandez-Moreno, ex-Dow Coating Materials, has joined Arch Chemicals as executive v.p., responsible for global operations of its wood protection and HTH water products divisions.

Ken Riches, president, Beacon Metals, Salt Lake City, Ut., was presented the Builders Hardware Manufacturers Association's Award of Excellence.

Jim Sweeney, owner of Alki Lumber & Hardware, Seattle, Wa., received the local Kiwanis Club's Everyday Hero Award for his years of service to the club and to the community.

Dan Bohannon, president, Bohannon Lumber, Orange, Ca., and Brian Cheney won the U.S. National Indoor Doubles Tennis Championship, for the 60-and-over division, in Seattle, Wa.

Mark and Melinda Ganahl, Ganahl Lumber Co., Corona, Ca., welcomed the birth of Emma Elaine on July 17.

Knight N. Day is implementing a 24/7 customer-care program at Mungus-Fungus Forest Products, Climax, Nv., report owners Hugh Mungus and Freddy Fungus.

6et ualuable seruiEe from enperts who understend gou.

A leader in the building products industry for more than 32 years, DMS| backs its Agility software with unparalleled service for peak performance, ease-of-use, and ROl. To learn more, call DMS| at 800.347.6720 or visit us online at dmsi.com.

Lumber Association of California & Nevada's 4O-and-under group, 2nd Growth, has scheduled its annual holiday meeting Dec. 2 at the Sheraton. Cerritos. Ca.

Mountain States Lumber & Building Material Dealers Association will celebrate the holidays Dec. 9 at the Mile High Stadium Club at Invesco Field. Denver. Co.

Los Angeles Hardwood Lumberman's Club will hold regular monthly meetings Oct. l4 at Belmont Brewing Company, Long Beach, Ca., and Nov. I I at the Rib Trader, Orange, Ca.

LAHLC's annual tennis tournament is set for Nov. 7 at Anaheim Tennis Center, Anaheim, Ca. The group's annual Christmas party is Dec. I l at Orange Hill Restaurant, Orange, Ca.

North American Building Material Distribution Association and the North American Association of Floor Covering Distributors have lined up several speakers for their joint distributor marketplace, Nov. 16-18 at the Broadmoor Hotel, Colorado Springs, Co.

J. Michael Marks, principal with the Indian River Consulting Group, will discuss "Where Is the New Money?"

Brent Grover, managing partner of Evergreen Consulting, will present a talk on "Smart Pricing Strategies for Distributors."

Brian Beaulieu, c.e.o. of the Institute for Trend Research, will discuss "Recovery: How Long and How Strong?"

Two workshops presented by the Hardwood Plywood & Veneer Association will focus on how to sell and market hardwood plywood and hardwood engineered fl ooring.

Western Wood Preservers Institute is putting the finishing touches on its annual meeting Oct. l1-20 at the Westin La Paloma Resort. Tucson. Az.