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By Alan Oakes

Itts not your itts me!

Ifr. Tuts ts so DIFFICULT to write, but I lack the guts to tell you personally, Llhence this letter. I feel badly, but we must break up. I just cannot reciprocate how you want me and our relationship to be. I need my time and space. You'll get over me and surely will find someone else to be with, someone who can communicate better than I can.

But you have become obsessed with me. You want constant reassurance about how good we are as a couple. Clearly, we are in a dffirent place about our relationship. Yes, I know you will feel bad for a while, but time will heal, you'll get over me, and surely will find someone else

Since we met, you just won't leave me alone. I did not take the hint that you wanted to be with me forever. I ignored the alarm bells.I should have realized early on that when you kept showering me with presents and you tried to find ways for me to keep coming by, something was wrong.I even gave you an assurance in an email that everything was fine and I could not be any happier. But, this was just not enough for you, as now we are on the fifth go-around of you asking me the same old questions.

You keep calling, emailing and writing. You have become very needy and insecure, and you won't take no for an answer. I try to ignore you, but somehow you find a way to track me down wherever I am, and you keep coming back to the same old thing again and again. You were-are-great, but I have others I need to worry about.

My wtfe is beginning to get suspicious and ask questions: "Who keeps tweeting you? " "Who keeps trying to get hold of you day and night? " "Why do they keep calling?" "Why do they want to be 'friends?"' She is worried that "like" can very quickly turn to love. But I am resisting you. All my waking hours are spent dealing with this infatuation with what am I doing, how much do I earn, did I enjoy how you handled me, and is there anything else you can do for me, and when are you going to see me again! I have a stack of emails on top of the calls you left on my phone. It is all too much!

We clearly are on a dffirent wave length. Yes, we had an intensive relationship for a few hours. And it was truly good for me, as I clearly was missing something in my hfe at the time. But once is enough!

So let's end it here and now. Goodbye and thanks for giving me your all. I will never forget you!

Why is it whenever I buy something these days-whether the cost is $5 or $50,000-I have to face a barrage of emails and telephone calls surveying me about how great my expenence was? And once is no longer enough. They just keep coming. Even when you ignore them, they don't take the hint! Does it really matter how I feel?

No one ever responds to anything I say anyway, especially when "my experience" was not great. Don't you just love being asked to take a survey before you even speak with anyone, after being on hold for an hour? In some cases, we're even told how we must mark the form at the hishest level or else they will get dinged by whomever.

Here's my response: I may be important to you, but you are not to me. Get over yourself! I DO NOT CARE!

Alan Oakes, Publisher ajoakes@aol.com

www.building-products.com

A publication of Cutler Publishing 4500 Campus Dr., Ste. 480, Newporl Beach, CA 92660

Publisher Alan 0akes ajoakes@aol.com

Publisher Emeritus David Cutler

Director of Editorial & Production David Koenig dkoenig@building-products.com

Editor Karen Debats kdebats@buildin g-products.com

Contributing Editors Dwight Cunan, Carla Waldemar, James Olsen, Jay Tompt, Mike Dandridge

Advertising Sales Manager Chuck Casey ccasey@building-products.com

Administration DirectorlSecretary Marie 0akes mfpoakes@aol.com

Circulation Manager Heather Kelly hkelly@building-products.com

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Phone (949) 852-1990 Fax 949-852-0231 ccasey@building-products.com

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Phone (949) 852-1990 Fax 949-852-0231 ajoakes@aol.com

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