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fN today's highly competitive busiIness world. customer satisfaction has never been more important in the growth of a company's "bottom line."

Unfortunately, corporations are now dealing with a more diverse and more varied customer base, and in turn, forced to solve more complex and challenging customer service complaints and disputes. These developments norv confirm what customer service professionals have always known but were seldom allowed to admit: the customer may not always be right.

Moreover, customer disagreements and disputes, if not carefully managed, can escalate into more severe confrontations, with resulting negative effects including workplace violence, lawsuits, and diminished productivity.

What causes conflicts to escalate? The following are the most common communication pitfalls that show how managers can enrage a customer by what they say and how they say it:

1. Attacking the person rather than the problem: Making personal attacks or statements that belittle an individual instead of working to solve the issue.

2. Over-control: Wielding authority, using your position of power to intimidate or push others around without attempting to solve the problem.

3. Cultural ignorance: Disrespecting diverse cultural communication patterns; folding arrns, or staring in a defensive manner when approached by someone with difficult-to-understand accents or differences in dress or appearance.

4. Re-escalation: Causing a person's anger or hurt feelings to resurface after the original disagreement was successfully defused.

5. Lack of audience awareness: Ignoring the crorvd of curious onlookers who may very quickly gather at the scene. This can prove extremely dangerous if the crorvd becomes hostile.

By Dr. Andrew Edelman

6. Counterproductive language and phrases: Focusing on unchangeable past events or negative imagery, using "red" (inflammatory) trigger rvords, or other discussion about events rvhich are likely to cause the client's temper to flare or anger to increase.

7. Failure to allow someone ro vent: Interrupting or preventing an angry person from completing a thought or expressing his or her side of the story. This only serves to bury the real "fear" or issue and often results in increased frustration and an escalation of tempers.

8. Appearing disinterested or judgmental: Wandering eyes, preoccupation with other tasks, not paying full attention, yawning, arms folded, or shaking head in disgust or disbelief, and making no attempt to hide these feelings.

What can managers do to improve managerial communication with difficult or angry customers? Below are some key conflict management strategies that can make a significant difference in effectively resolving disputes. Establish a connection.

Managers should use verbal and non-verbal language to create an atmosphere of interest and genuine concern. Practitioners should avoid negative imagery-generating phrases ("red" words) such as "What's the problem?!" or exhibit body language that sends a message of disinterest or disrespect. Managers rvill find greater success by using positive porver phrases or "green rvords" such as: points of vierv, and feelings of stress, anger. or fear-even if the customer's rvay of vierving the situation may not match theirs. In fact. the person yelling the loudest is often the person rvho feels the greatest lack of control and, deep dorvn. is seeking someone who rvill understand their pain.

"Tell me rvhat happened."

"How can rve rvork together on this?"

"Let's solve this together."

"l'm sorry that you had a negative experience."

"I'll be happy to assisr you."

Ac knov,led ge the ir feelin gs.

It is important for managers to acknorvledge a person's perspectives.

This strategy is particularly useful in dealing rvith irate. irrational or delusional individuals for which rapid conflict resolution is desirable for everyone's personal safety and security. Best practice phrases include:

"l respect horv you feel."

"You are absolutely right to feel that rvay."

"I'd probably feel the same rvay if that happened to me."

"I really want to rvork rvith )'ou to resolve this situation."

Erplore options.

Conflict resolution must be a paftnership. This is why it is critical for managers to ahvays include the customer in the decision making process.

Rather than assuming rvhat the customer wants, ask. Often. the actual solution is quite simple. If the customer's need or rvant is unrealistic or counter to company regulations. explore and offer additional choices and let the customers take ownership in their decisions:

"Although this brand is out of stock. I'd like to shorv you our new upgraded models that I believe rvill meet or exceed your expectations. What size are you looking for?"

When managers explore solution options by asking questions and eliciting customer feedback. the communication process is more likely to move towards a productive course of action.

Negotiate a resolutiott.

Once the customer agrees to a course of action. managers should document the decision and give a copy to the customer. This cements the agreement and partnership in the problem-solving process and gives feelings of control back to the cusromer.

When managers help a customer make a choice he feels comfortable rvith. they've done more than simply defused a conflict. They've increased the likelihood of establishing a loyal. lon-e-term cl ient relationsh ip.

- Dr. Andretr Edelnan hus ntore than 20 vears of e.rperience in cottflict ,nanugetnent, crisis prerenliort. und juvenile justice. For nore intonnation on his speaking und consulting,. pltase r.isi, x.rr.rr.. drandyede lnnn.cotn.