08 march awakening 2018

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‘‘Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony’’ -Mahatma Gandhi

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or prayer without action may be construed as wishful thinking, so too is the search for peace and happiness. Without action, it remains an illusion.

Recently, I was privileged to attend a seminar on business mastery with Tony Robbins, the influential guru of self-help. It was an intensive five-day course in Miami, Palm Beach, with long 12-15 hour sessions, and minimal breaks, allowing us to learn through total immersion. We each left knowing exactly how to take our various work projects and commitment to the next level.

Why is this relevant when we talking about happiness? We think of business as being governed by logic and reason, and that is true most of the time. But business also has a brighter, more spiritual side. The best business people are trustworthy, courageous and openminded, they are people who work well with others. They keep their promises and don’t make ones they can’t keep.

The more I learn, the more I understand that the messages are the same whether it’s Tony Robbins saying “Be extraordinary” or the Toltec wisdom mentioned above. I am a soul seeking life wisdom and believe in the beauty of simplicity and action. My life experience has enabled me to form few basic principles of being content that I would like to share with you: 1) Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. We need to communicate with others with full clarity to avoid misunderstandings.

2) Under any circumstances, simply do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment.

3) Don’t get caught up in the tyranny of ‘how’? This is where most people fall. Focus on what you want without knowing how you will achieve it. The ‘how’ will show up once you’re clear on your goal.

4) Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.

5) Thoughts, feelings, tendencies, stories, these are all objects that arise in awareness.

Awareness is your true nature – boundless, completely at peace, infinitely loving.

Happiness is a state of being amplified by the action one takes to create an environment of happiness all around and for everyone.

Illustration: Clym Evenden

Happiness is not a mystery Many civilizations have spoken about happiness, many masters have tried to teach it, many people have tried to adopt it. At it’s core, happiness is a choice.

As a continuous seeker, I discovered the Toltec philosophy for authentic happiness, a journey in which you first find your true self, and then activate this across all aspects of your life. It is a blueprint for living that shows how to make profound, permanent changes, providing tools to enable you to reclaim the ability to create whatever you want, whenever you want it.

In his book, The four agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz, an author of Toltec spiritualism, offers a perfect mirror to see yourself as you are; not as you wish to be, not as you pretend to be, but as you really are. His agreements are simple and knit perfectly with my own theory of happiness – that is, by personal transformation. I believe that to truly transform your life and remove the obstacles that hold you back requires deep, personal introspection. You must be able to see your filter system before you can let it go.

Everyone’s path to happiness is different.

As John Harrigan said, “Happiness held is the seed. Happiness shared is the flower.” For me, happiness is about inspired action. Just as dreams

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CONTENTS 1 WORK

2 SELF

3 HEALTH

4 INSPIRE

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Page 39

Why happy employees are 12% more productive New research shows that we work more effectively and creatively when we are happy at work

Eat Happy Do certain foods have the power to make us happier? Most definitely says Josh Clark

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How happy happens in your brain We look at the chemical reactions that happen when we are happy and how we can make this happen more

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Shake it off How exercise can starve off depression and boost our happiness levels

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The Science of Happiness The 8 habits of happy people – backed by scientific studies

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How to raise a happy, successful child 25 things to do when raising children

Why Experiences make you happier than possessions

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Story of Wisdom

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Why volunteer?

Reasons to offer help

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Pursuing happiness with determination SEDRA on working as a community

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How to Nuture Happiness

by Dr. Asma

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Happiness Journey The Ministry of Happiness on wellbeing for life

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Work

“Happy people plan actions, they don’t plan results” - Dennis Wholey

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WORK

Why happy employees are 12% more productive New research suggests we work more effectively, creatively, and collaboratively when we’re happy at work

By Jonha Revesencio

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But the burden for improving workers’ satisfaction needn’t rest with companies alone. Research suggests there are some simple ways employees can boost their own happiness, like helping out co-workers, meditating for at least two minutes every day, and reflecting on three things to be grateful for at work.

In other words, relationships and mindfulness matter—especially early on. Harvard researchers Phil Stone and Tal Ben-Shahar have found that students with strong social support, both at school and at home, tended to be happier and better at dealing with stress. As those students become adults, they take those skills with them into the workplace.

Workers with strong relationships with co-workers are likewise better at staying engaged and performing under stress.

That’s led some to argue that happier employees also make better leaders. According to Alexander Kjerulf, founder of Woohoo Inc. and the organization’s “chief happiness officer,” happiness is the “ultimate productivity booster.” Happy employees, in his view, make better decisions, excel at managing their time, and possess other crucial leadership skills.

The vast majority of working adults doesn’t enjoy their work.

From the looks of it, there’s certainly room to improve on the happiness factor. A recent Gallup survey found only 13% of employees are engaged at work, meaning the vast majority of working adults doesn’t enjoy their work.

By one recent measure, this costs US companies roughly $450–$550 billion annually. Looked at another way, though, poor worker engagement is an opportunity for companies to boost their productivity by investing in employees’ welfare and workplace happiness.

Still, the question of how many resources to devote to that cause remains. And in the meantime, more research is needed to determine which practices are most successful in generating those outcomes. But there’s already reason to believe this is one of those rare instances when you really can make everyone happy.

Jonha Revesencio is a marketing strategist with over eight years’ experience developing digital media strategies for finance, FMCG, and tech companies. @jonharules

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onventional wisdom holds that if only we pay workers enough, they’ll be productive. There may be more to it, though. Recent research hints there’s a link between employees’ happiness and their productivity at work. Some companies are taking note—and already seeing the payoff.

A recent study by economists at the University of Warwick found that happiness led to a 12% spike in productivity, while unhappy workers proved 10% less productive. As the research team put it, “We find that human happiness has large and positive causal effects on productivity. Positive emotions appear to invigorate human beings.”

Financial incentives aren’t enough to make for highly productive employees.

Professor Andrew Oswald, one of three researchers who led the study, said companies that invest in employee support and satisfaction tend to succeed in generating happier workers. At Google, employee satisfaction rose 37% as a result of those initiatives—suggesting that financial incentives aren’t enough to make for highly productive employees.

Shawn Anchor, author of The Happiness Advantage, has found that the brain works much better when a person is feeling positive. At those times, individuals tend to be more creative and better at solving problems. And additional research has shown that when workers are happy they’re more effective collaborators working toward common goals. As Anchor sees it, the incentive for organizations is clear-cut—“happiness leads to greater levels of profits” for companies that take the right steps.

Relationships and mindfulness matter—especially early on.

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Self

‘‘Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.

Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude’’ – Denis Waitley

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SELF

How Happy Happens In Your Brain

Debbie Hampton explores the processes and chemical reactions that happen in the brain when we are happy, and how we can cause this reaction naturally

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Your experience of your journey through life boils down to the chemicals in your brain. Happy, sad, mad, anxious, you name it – can all be traced to what’s going on inside your head. Your brain produces a chemical soup which directs your behavior, always instinctually encouraging you to seek pleasure and avoid pain to ensure your survival. When you have success (whatever that means to your brain), you get rewarded with happy.

Rather than being in the passenger’s seat in this process, science has proven without a doubt that you can take control, affect the balance in your brain, and hack into your happy neurochemicals. By understanding how these chemicals originate and function, you can work experiences into your daily life to increase them which can up your happiness, productivity, and peace of mind.

OXYTOCIN You may be familiar with oxytocin, sometimes referred to as the cuddle neurochemical. Oxytocin is released through closeness with another person and helps to create intimacy and trust and build healthy relationships. Skin-to-skin contact releases oxytocin, for example a person gets a hit during orgasm and mothers do during childbirth and breastfeeding.

The cultivation of oxytocin increases fidelity and is essential for creating and maintaining strong bonds and improved social interactions.

However, you can boost oxytocin in other ways besides cuddling – your coworkers might not appreciate that too much. The release of oxytocin can also be triggered through social bonding, like eye contact and attentiveness. A simple way to get an oxytocin surge is to give someone a hug. Also, research has shown that when someone receives a gift or just snuggles with their dog, oxytocin levels rise.

In today’s cyber world, when were often alone together on our digital devices, it’s more important than ever to get some face-to-face time and connect in-person within your community. Working out at a gym, attending social events, or having lunch with a friend is a great way to sustain these human bonds and release oxytocin.

When someone betrays your trust, your brain releases unhappy chemicals which pave neural pathways telling you to withhold trust and oxytocin in the future.

You may have to build trust again with that person consciously to stimulate oxytocin by creating realistic expectations that both parties can meet. Each time the expectations are met, your brain rewards you with an oxytocin hit and rebuilds your oxytocin circuits.

DOPAMINE Dopamine motivates you to take action and encourages the persistence required to meet your needs, seek reward, or approach a goal – whether it’s a college degree, a sugar fix, the next level in a video game, or money to pay the bills. The anticipation of the reward is actually what triggers a dopamine good feeling in your brain causing it to release the energy you need to move towards the reward. Then, you get another pleasure hit when you successfully meet the need.

You can stimulate the good feeling of dopamine by embracing a new goal and breaking it down into achievable steps, rather than only allowing your brain to celebrate when you hit the finish line. The idea is to create a series of small successes which keeps the dopamine flowing in your brain. And it’s important to actually celebrate every accomplishment – buy that gadget you’ve been wanting or head to your favorite restaurant whenever you meet an interim goal.

To avoid letting your dopamine lag, set new goals before achieving your current one. The repetition of pursuing a good-for-you reward will build a new dopamine pathway in your brain until it’s robust enough to compete with a dopamine habit that you’re better off without.

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SELF SEROTONIN Serotonin plays so many different roles in your body that it’s really tough to nail it down, but it can be thought of as the confidence molecule and flows when you feel significant or important and controls your overall mood. If you’re in a good mood, you’ve got serotonin to thank. If you’re in a bad mood, you’ve got serotonin to blame.

You enjoy the good feeling of serotonin when you feel respected by others, and your brain seeks more of that good feeling by repeating the behaviors that triggered it in your past. The respect you got in your youth paved neural pathways that tell your brain how to get respect today.

Sometimes that drives people to seek attention in not-so-healthy ways that undermine their well-being and happiness in the long run. The solution isn’t to try to totally rid yourself of your innate urge for status, because you need the serotonin. Instead, you can develop your belief in your own worth and focus on your wins to get the serotonin you need.

Loneliness and depression can appear when serotonin levels are low although the connection here is not fully understood, and popular antidepressants, called SerotoninSpecific Reuptake Inhibitors (SSRIs), alter the serotonin system in the brain. They keep serotonin in the synaptic gap longer which was once thought to be a universal cure for depression. If that were true, these medications would work for everyone, which they don’t. Some people don’t respond to SSRIs, but they do have success with medications that act on other neurochemical systems.

Reflecting on past significant achievements allows your brain to re-live the experience. In your brain, there’s not much difference between real and imagined, and simply remembering a success produces serotonin. For this reason, gratitude and visualization practices work to actually change your brain for the better. If you need a serotonin boost during a stressful day, take a few moments to reflect on a past achievement or victory.

Also by getting some sunshine for 20 minutes, your skin absorbs UV rays, which promotes vitamin D and serotonin production. Interestingly, 80 percent of your serotonin exists in your gut and is believed to play a role in mood, mental illness, and disease.

ENDORPHINS Endorphins have a chemical structure similar to opiates, mask pain or discomfort, and are associated with the fight or flight response. Endorphins give you the oomph to help you power through any situation.

The word endorphin literally means “selfproduced morphine,” and conversely to what you might think, pain actually causes endorphins to be released. Similar to morphine, they act as an analgesic and sedative, diminishing your perception of pain.

You’ve probably heard of an “endorphin high.”

Well, a runner doesn’t get that feeling unless they push their body to the point of distress. Endorphins helped our ancestors survive in emergencies, for example they could still run away when injured, but if you were on an endorphin high all the time, you would touch a hot stove or walk on a broken leg.

Endorphins are produced during strenuous physical exertion. Laughing and stretching also cause you to release endorphins because both of these agitate your insides, causing moderate wear and tear and moderate endorphin flow. Studies have shown that just the anticipation and expectation of laugher increases levels of endorphins. Researchers also report that acupuncture triggers endorphin production.

Oddly enough, smelling vanilla and lavender and eating chocolate and spicy foods has been linked with the production of endorphins.

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MAKING HAPPY HAPPEN IN YOUR BRAIN When you understand what’s going on in your brain, you can begin to influence it to your benefit. You can stimulate more happy chemicals when you know the job they evolved to do and what causes their release for you.

Your brain got wired from your individual past experiences, and the neurochemical patterns for every person are different. Each time your neurochemicals surged, your brain built connections and is wired now to turn on your brain chemicals in the same ways they were activated in the past.

When you’re young, your brain is very changeable or neuroplastic and neurons build new connections easily. As an adult, it’s not as easy to build new circuits to turn on in new ways and requires a lot of repetition and focus. But it can be done. Your brain is capable of neuroplastic change until the day you die.

So pick a new happy habit and start implementing

it with repetition and consistency, and you will start to shift the neurochemical balance in or brain. Over time, your new happy habits will feel as natural to you as your old ones.

Of course, depression, mood, and behaviour are the products of more than just your neurochemicals, but understanding and consciously altering them is a step closer to a happier you and a better life.

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SELF

The Science of Happiness The 8 Habits of Happy People

Go into any bookshop or fire up the internet and you will find a thousand gurus touting different remedies for human misery. But how can we find out which ones work? We need to consult one of our greatest gurus – science. Over the past ten years, there have been many studies designed to discover what makes happy people happy. Fortunately, many of these studies point to specific ways of thinking and acting that can strongly impact our sense of happiness and peace of mind.

Here, we have reviewed the most scientific studies to find the seven habits of happy people‌

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THEY HAVE CLOSE RELATIONSHIPS

THEY PERFORM ACTS OF KINDNESS

Study after study shows that people who have one or more close friendships appear to be happier. In 2002, two pioneers of Positive Psychology, Ed Diener and Martin Seligman, conducted a study at the University of Illinois on the 10% of students with the highest scores recorded on a survey of personal happiness. They found that the most salient characteristics shared by students who were very happy and showed the fewest signs of depression were “their strong ties to friends and family and commitment to spending time with them.”

While having close relationships is important, many studies show that we must ensure we are being active in those relationships for the biggest gains. To form a close relationship requires a growing amount of “self-disclosure,” or a willingness to reveal ones personal issues and feelings, and without it people with friends could still be lonely. Studies prove that sharing personal feelings plays a major role in the relief of stress and depression.

And it works both ways, happiness isn’t only gained from social support but by providing it. In 2003, a study examined how providing social support influences wellbeing and mortality. The researchers discovered that loneliness created lower levels of meaning and a greater increase in depression, so the more support provided, the greater the decrease in mortality – supporting others actually helps you live longer!

It’s been proven that people who care for others’ well-being through acts of altruism, volunteering, or formation of communal relationships seem to be happier and less depressed.

Most people who care for others in a selfless manner do so because of a genuine desire to help and improve the world around them. Nonetheless, modern psychological research has shown that caring has benefits for all involved; people who volunteer or care for others on a consistent basis tend to have better psychological wellbeing, including fewer depressive symptoms and higher life-satisfaction.

Caring behaviour even has physiological benefits, as current research shows that individuals who receive social support are more protected from disease and even death.

Although “caring” can involve volunteering as part of an organised group or club, it can be as simple as reaching out to a workmate or classmate who looks lonely or is struggling with an issue. Studies show that people who reach out like this can benefit in multiple ways.

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SELF

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THEY EXERCISE AND EAT WELL Have you ever noticed that you feel great after research evidence indicates that the social interaction going for a run? Do you love working out or playing involved in certain kinds of exercise (such as team sports on a regular basis? The vast majority of studies sports) contributes to personal satisfaction and consequently, mood enhancement. addressing this subject have shown Exercise has also been studied that there is a significant association Practical Tips for Exercise as an alternative treatment to between exercise and improved

the traditional antidepressant mood and mental wellbeing.

If possible, engage in at least medications and cognitiveHowever, it has proven difficult to 30 minutes of moderatebehavioral therapies used for show that exercise directly causes intense physical activity on a depression. The Cochrane Review these improvements. Are “happier daily basis. has produced a landmark metapeople” simply more inclined to analysis of studies on exercise exercise or does exercise result in Vary the type of exercise you do, and depression. Twenty-three a more positive mood and greater and choose activities studies were rigorously selected mental well-being? that use your strengths and that amongst a pool of over 100 studies.

Researchers studying exercise you enjoy.

Based on collective evidence, it was have consistently found that it concluded that exercise has a “large has a positive impact on mood.

For those who cannot do clinical impact” on depression.

It has been proven that physical high impact workouts, try low The jury still seems to be out in activity stimulates the release impact activities like walking, terms of whether or not exercise of “feel-good” chemicals in the swimming, or biking. causes happiness and to what brain, called endorphins. Some degree it has a positive impact on researchers argue that exercise acts as a diversion from negative thoughts. Others well-being compared to other factors. While we think argue that exercise improves mood by virtue of the the evidence supports exercise as being beneficial, we personal growth and goal attainment that results look forward to seeing new studies in this area in the from efforts to master a physical skill. Furthermore, upcoming years.

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THEY FLOW

THEY PRACTICE SPIRITUAL ENGAGEMENT

The top line: If we are actively involved in trying to reach a goal, or an activity that is challenging but well suited to our skills, we experience a joyful state called “flow.” The experience of flow in both professional and leisure activities leads to increased positive affect, performance, and commitment to long-term, meaningful goals.

Do you ever find yourself so completely immersed in what you’re doing that you lose track of time? All of a sudden you look up at the clock and realise that hours have passed and you missed dinnertime? Think a minute about this. When does this loss of time and total engagement typically occur for you? This could apply to a martial artist completely absorbed in perfecting a flying kick, or a violinist fiercely concentrating on a complex symphony. One may find still greater happiness working towards longterm, meaningful goals. Viktor Frankl, who survived a Nazi concentration camp, once said “What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him.”

This loss of self-consciousness that happens when you are completely absorbed in an activity – intellectual, professional, or physical – is described in contemporary psychology as a state of flow. In order for a flow state to occur, you must see the activity as voluntary, enjoyable (intrinsically motivating), and it must require skill and be challenging (but not too challenging) with clear goals towards success. You must feel as though you have control and receive immediate feedback with room for growth. Interestingly, a flow state is characterised by the absence of emotion – a complete loss of selfconsciousness – however, in retrospect, the flow activity may be described as enjoyable and even exhilarating!

A growing body of scientific evidence indicates that flow is highly correlated with happiness, both SWB (Subjective well-being) and PWB (Psychological wellbeing). Furthermore, it has been found that people who experience a lot of flow regularly also develop other positive traits, such as increased concentration, self-esteem, and performance.

People follow spiritual paths and join religious organizations for a variety of reasons, including faith, prayer, social support, community service, cultural tradition, friendship, commitment to the community and more. How often do you hear someone say that they committed to a religion or spiritual practice primarily to become happier? Perhaps not often.

However, interestingly enough, studies demonstrate a close link between religious and spiritual engagement (practice) and happiness.

Scientists who study this phenomenon hypothesise several possible reasons for a link between religiosity, spirituality, and happiness. Religious organisations provide strong social support from like-minded people, providing various opportunities for socializing, community service and making friends with individuals from a common network.

‘What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving for some goal worthy of him’ Spirituality and prayer also provide people with an opportunity to engage in a meditative act. Meditation has been shown to have a strong link with wellbeing because it calms the body, reduces stress and anxiety, and also supports positive thinking. The cultivation of “sacred moments” in daily life, whether through journal-writing or daily spiritual exercises, has been associated with reduced levels of stress and an increase in psychological wellbeing. Finally, both spirituality and organized religion can help provide people with perspective, hope, and a deeper sense of meaning. By believing in something greater than themselves, it may help them stay positive in times of sadness, and foster resilience in its role as a coping strategy.

Generally, religiosity can be defined as one’s relationship with an established faith tradition or doctrine about a sacred other or supernatural power, while spirituality can often be defined as “the intrinsic human capacity for self-transcendence, in which the self is embedded in something greater than the self, including the sacred” and which motivates “the search for connectedness, meaning, purpose, and contribution.”

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THEY KNOW THEIR STRENGTHS You may have had certain strengths that are so natural to you that you may not even consider them strengths. Think about an episode in your life when you were at your very best. What qualities enabled you to perform like that? While there are numerous talents and strengths that humans can possess, Character Strengths and Virtues are ones that humanity universally values. When Martin Seligman and Chris Peterson sought to discover and classify commonly held strengths and virtues across cultures, they created a classification of core virtues that humans morally value regardless of their cultural, racial, and religious differences.

Current research indicates that you are most likely to value a job, relationship, hobby or institution that aligns with your core signature strengths and allows you to regularly utilise them. In fact, research indicates that one of the best ways to boost your long-term happiness is to use your strengths in new ways and situations, rather than focusing on your weaknesses. For instance, a 2010 study of college students found that individuals who used their signature strengths made more progress in reaching their goals (and improving their well-being). In addition, a study in 2004 found that certain character strengths, including hope, zest, gratitude, love, and curiosity, show a stronger link to life satisfaction.

The use of strengths and virtues is therefore well in keeping with the philosophy of positive psychology: to focus on the positive in your life, not the negative!

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THEY STAY POSITIVE Optimism is a trait that should become more common, judging by Winston Churchill’s famous quote that “a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” Optimism has been proven to improve the immune system, prevent chronic disease, and help people cope with unfortunate news. Recent research indicates that optimists and pessimists approach

problems differently, and their ability to cope successfully with adversity differs as a result.

Imagine two students who receive the same poor grade on an exam. The first student thinks, “I’m such a failure! I always do poorly in this subject. I can’t do anything right!” The second student thinks, “This test was difficult! Oh well, it’s just one test in one class. I tend to do well in other subjects.”

These students are exhibiting two types of what psychologists call “explanatory styles”. Explanatory styles reflect three attributions that a person forms about a recent event. Did it happen because of me (internal) or something or someone else (external)?

Will this always happen to me (stable) or can I change what caused it (unstable)? Is this something that affects all aspects of my life (pervasive) or was it a solitary occurrence (limited)? Pessimistic people tend to view problems as internal, unchangeable, and pervasive, whereas optimistic people are the opposite. Pessimism has been linked with depression, stress, and anxiety, whereas optimism has been shown to serve as a protective factor against depression, as well as a number of serious medical problems, including coronary heart disease. Optimistic mothers even deliver healthier, heavier babies!

Optimism also plays a role in the recovery from illness and disease. Many studies have found that optimistic people experience less distress when faced with potentially life-threatening cancer diagnoses.

Optimism has also been linked to life longevity, in the 1960s, researchers found that for every 10 point increase in a person’s score on their optimism scale, the risk of early death decreased by 19% and has been shown to boost the immune system.

Most studies on the subject share a common theme: that optimism can have profound effects on a person’s physical health. The mere act of expecting positive outcomes and being hopeful can boost a person’s immune system, protect against harmful behaviors, prevent chronic disease, and help people cope following troubling news. Optimism can even predict a longer life. Among psychological constructs, optimism may be one of the most important predictors of physical health.

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THEY ARE GRATEFUL The great Roman orator Cicero wrote, “Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all the others.” Indeed, all of us can think of times in our lives when we’ve expressed heartfelt thanks to others for gifts of time and effort. Being grateful feels good. Gratitude, the state or feeling of being thankful, is an almost universal concept among world cultures. In fact, nearly all of the world’s spiritual traditions emphasise the importance of giving thanks to benefactors, supernatural or otherwise. Robert Emmons, a leader in the field of gratitude research, defines gratitude as the feeling that occurs when a person attributes a benefit they have received to another (Emmons, 2004). Feeling grateful has a number of benefits. Feelings of gratitude are associated with less frequent negative emotions and more frequent positive emotions such as feeling energised, alert, and enthusiastic. Beyond emotions, there is evidence that gratitude is associated with pleasant physical sensations, as well. In 2009, a study found that people experienced pleasant muscle relaxation when recalling situations in which they’d felt grateful. It is apparent that the mere act of giving thanks can have remarkable impact on a person’s wellbeing.

Taking time to appreciate your mother for all the care she provided growing up; reconnecting with an old friend to express your gratitude for always being there for you; seeking out and thanking a favourite teacher who helped you grow - specific acts of gratitude can have a variety of positive consequences, but what about people who are more grateful by nature than others? Given the centrality of thanksgiving in religious traditions, grateful people tend to be more spiritual than their less-grateful counterparts. People who are generally grateful report being more agreeable and less narcissistic compared with less grateful people. People who are more grateful also report being happier.

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INSPIRE

How to raise a happy, successful child Every parent wants to raise children who are happy and successful, here Daniel Wong charts 25 scientific ways to bring up confident and well-adjusted children

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Become a happier person yourself Emotional problems in parents are linked to emotional problems in their children. In one study, children were asked: “If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?” Their answer? That their parents were less stressed and tired.

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Celebrate as a family, as often as you can Happy families celebrate both the small and big things: the end of a busy week, a good grade, the first day of school, a job promotion, holidays and festivals. The celebrations can be as simple as going to the park together, or as elaborate as throwing a surprise party. Happy families lead to happy children, so make it a point to celebrate as a family often.

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Prioritize your marriage over your children Family therapist David Code, says: “Families centered on children create anxious, exhausted parents and demanding, entitled children. We parents today are too quick to sacrifice our lives and marriages for our kids.”

He goes on to explain, “The greatest gift you can give your children is to have a fulfilling marriage.”

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Have regular meals together as a family Children who have regular meals with their families become more successful in almost every area. These children have larger vocabularies, greater selfconfidence, and get better grades. They are also less likely to drink, smoke, do drugs, or develop psychological issues.

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Teach your children to manage their emotions John Gottman’s research shows that children who can regulate their emotions focus better, which is important for long-term success.

These children even enjoy better physical health.To help your children manage their emotions, you should: Demonstrate emotional self-management yourself Empathise with your children Explain to your children that all feelings are acceptable Acknowledge your children’s progress

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Teach your children to build meaningful relationships Having strong relationships is vital for children’s growth and psychological well-being. Parents must respond appropriately to their children’s emotional cues. By doing so, their children will feel more secure. This forms the foundation of self-esteem.

Parents should create an environment for their children to form friendships, while also teaching them to resolve conflicts.

When your children talk to you, give them your undivided attention Communicating well with your children is vital if you want them to be happy and successful. One powerful way to do this is to give them your full attention whenever they speak to you.This means putting aside your newspapers and electronic devices, and really listening to what they have to say. You’ll respond more thoughtfully, which will encourage your children to become more communicative.

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Set reasonable boundaries for your children Parents who set and enforce reasonable boundaries raise confident, successful children.

Dr. Nancy Darling and Dr. Linda Caldwell found that effective parents explain the logic of the rules to their children. These parents state the principles behind the rules. In so doing, they form a closer, more understanding relationship with their children. Darling says about parents who don’t set boundaries: “… kids take the lack of rules as a sign that their parents don’t actually care – that their parents don’t really want this job of being a parent.” As a parent, it’s unhealthy to be too controlling. But children need boundaries to make the most of their potential.

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Ensure that your children get enough sleep Research shows that children who get insufficient sleep: Have poorer brain function Can’t focus well Are more likely to become obese Are less creative Are less able to manage their emotions Scary list, isn’t it?

To help your children get enough sleep, establish a consistent bedtime routine and limit stimulating activities after dinner.

In addition, don’t allow screen time within one to two hours of bedtime.

This is because the blue light from electronic devices affects sleep patterns and inhibits melatonin production.

You can also make your children’s bedroom as quiet and dark as possible, to improve their sleep quality.

INSPIRE

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Focus on the process, not the end result Parents who overemphasise achievement are more likely to bring up children who have psychological problems and engage in risky behaviour.The alternative to focusing on achievement? Focus on the process.

As Dr. Carol Dweck’s research shows, children who concentrate on effort and attitude – not on the desired result – end up attaining greater success in the long run. So look out for opportunities to acknowledge your children’s good behaviour, attitude, and effort. As time goes by, they’ll naturally achieve better outcomes.

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Give your children more time to play When I say ‘play’, I’m not referring to arcade or iPad games. I’m referring to unstructured playtime, preferably outdoors. Raising Happiness describes how playtime is essential for children’s learning and growth. The research even indicates that the less unstructured playtime children have, the more likely they are to have developmental issues related to their physical, emotional, social, and mental well-being.

Having a playful attitude is even linked to superior academic performance. So give your children more unstructured playtime, and they’ll become better students.

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Reduce your children’s TV time Many studies show a strong link between increased happiness and less TV time. In other words, happy people watch less TV than unhappy people.

A study of over 4,000 teenagers found that those who watched more TV were more likely to become depressive. This likelihood increased with more TV time. Set an example for your children by limiting your own TV time. You can also have a family discussion to decide on your family’s TV-watching guidelines.

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Encourage your children to keep a gratitude journal Keeping a gratitude journal can increase your happiness levels by 25% over just 10 weeks, as shown by Dr. Robert Emmons’ research.

Not only were the participants who kept a gratitude journal happier, they also had more hope for the future, and they fell sick less often.

How can you start keeping a gratitude journal?

Step 1: Get a notebook and pen, and put them on your bedside table.

Step 2: Every night before you go to sleep, write down two or three things that you’re thankful for. (Don’t worry about how “big” or “small” these things are.)

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Allow your children to make their own choices (including choosing their own punishment) The Secrets of Happy Families discusses a University of California study, which identified the benefits of letting children plan their own schedules and set their own goals.

These children were more likely to become disciplined and focused, and to make wiser decisions in the future.

The researchers also found that it’s helpful for parents to let their children choose their own punishments.

Children who do so break the rules less frequently.

Let your children pick their own activities too, whenever possible. Dr. Rich Gilman discovered that children who participate in structured school activities that they’ve chosen are 24% more likely to enjoy going to school.

So as your children get older, give them the freedom to make more of their own choices. They’ll become happier and more successful as a result.

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Resolve the conflicts in your marriage Children whose parents have serious marital conflicts perform worse academically, are more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol, and are more likely to have emotional problems.

No surprises there. Through my work with students, I interact with many parents as well. I’m shocked by the number of families in which the parents have major ongoing marital issues. This definitely impacts the children, who become less motivated, responsible, and engaged. If you have issues in your marriage that have gone unresolved for months or years, please seek help from a therapist or counselor. Your children – and your marriage – are counting on you.

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Encourage your children to serve others and be generous Dr. Mark Holder’s study of children aged 8 to 12indicates that children who feel as if their lives are meaningful are also happier. What makes them perceive their lives as more meaningful?

When they serve other people, e.g. making a difference in the community, volunteering, helping their friends and family. Being generous also makes children happier, as found by Dr. L.B. Aknin. She discovered that toddlers are happier when they give away treats to others than when they receive treats.

Interestingly, toddlers become even happier when they give away treats that belong to them, rather than the same treats that don’t belong to them.

So encourage your children to serve others and be generous, and find ways to do this as a family too.

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Promote a healthy body image Having a healthy body image is especially important for girls, although it can affect boys as well.

According to a study conducted by the Institute of Child Health, one-third of 13-year-old girls are upset over their weight. In addition, research by Dove found that 69% of mothers make negative comments about their bodies in front of their children. This affects their children’s own body image.

Here are some ways to promote a healthy body image in your children: Focus on the health benefits of exercise, rather than on how it affects your appearance Focus more on your children’s character and skills development, and less on their appearance Exercise together as a family Talk to your children about how the media influences the way we view our bodies Don’t talk about how guilty you feel after eating certain foods Don’t pass judgment on other people’s appearance

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Don’t shout at your children Dr. Laura Markham describes how yelling at your children can quickly turn your home into a perpetual battleground. Children who live in such a hostile environment are more likely to feel insecure and anxious.

If you’re on the verge of losing your temper, remove yourself from the situation. Take 10 minutes to collect your thoughts before speaking to your child again. Practice empathizing with your children’s feelings through a process called “emotion coaching.”

If it helps, imagine that your friend or boss is there with you in the room.

This way, you’ll speak more calmly to your children.

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Teach your children to forgive Dr. Martin Seligman, widely recognized as the father of positive psychology, has identified forgiveness as a key element that leads to happiness in children. Unforgiveness has even been linked to depression and anxiety. Children who learn to forgive are able to turn negative feelings about the past into positive ones. This increases their levels of happiness and life satisfaction.

Be a role model for your children.

Don’t hold grudges against people who have wronged you, and take the initiative to resolve personal conflicts.

Discuss the importance of forgiveness with your children, so that they’ll turn forgiveness into a lifestyle.

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Teach your children to think positively Not surprisingly, Dr. Seligman also found that children who are more optimistic tend to be happier.

How can you teach your children to think positively?

Encouraging them to keep a gratitude journal is one way. Here are some additional ways: Develop a positive attitude yourself Don’t complain Don’t gossip Don’t make a huge deal out of spilled drinks, broken plates, etc.

See the good in others and acknowledge it Teach your children to phrase things positively, e.g. “I like playing with David and Sarah” instead of “I hate playing with Tom” Tell your children about the challenges you face, and how those challenges are helping you grow

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Create a family mission statement Bruce Feiler, author of The Secrets of Happy Families, advises parents to develop a family mission statement.

This statement describes your family’s values and collective vision.

Just about every organization has a mission statement, and so should your family. Here’s an excellent step-bystep guide to creating your family mission statement.

My own family has done it – the process was extremely meaningful!

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Have regular family meetings Feiler’s other recommendation is to have a 20-minute family meeting once a week. During the meeting, he suggests that you ask all family members these three questions: What did you do well in the past week?

What did you not do so well in the past week?

What will you work on in the coming week?

When I was younger, my family used to have regular meetings.

These meetings brought the family closer together, and reinforced the importance of family relationships.

To this day, I still remember how I excited I was about attending those meetings. So I encourage you to start this practice, if you haven’t already done so.

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Share your family history with your children The research shows that children who know more about their family history have higher levels of selfesteem. This contributes to their success and happiness later in life.

Dr. Marshall Duke and Dr. Robyn Fivush have developed a “Do You Know” scale that lists 20 questions, which children should be able to answer about their family history.

These questions include “Do you know some of the illnesses and injuries that your parents experienced when they were younger?” and “Do you know some things that happened to your mom or dad when they were in school?”.

Sharing your family history strengthens family bonds, and helps your children to become more resilient.

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Create family rituals Family rituals increase family cohesiveness and enable children to develop socially, as shown by Dr. Dawn Eaker and Dr. Lynda Walters’ research.

Make a conscious effort to create these rituals in your family.

Here are some examples: Have breakfast as a family every Saturday Have a family board game night Cook dinner as a family Go for evening walks Hold a weekly family meeting Go camping as a family once a year “Date” each of your children once a month

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Help your children to find amentor Children who have a trusted adult in their life (apart from their parents) have 30% higher levels of life satisfaction than children who don’t, Dr. Lisa Colarossi has discovered.

You can find a mentor for your child by asking your friend to take on the role, by encouraging your child to join an organization like the Boys & Girls Club, or by signing up for a mentoring program.

The bottom line Parenting is a noble calling, but it isn’t easy to bring up confident, welladjusted children.

But with these 25 tips, I hope the task is a little bit less daunting. So take it one step at a time, one day at a time, and one tip at a time. I know you’re up to the challenge.

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Health

“Optimism is a happiness magnet.

If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you�

-Mary Lou Retton

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HEALTH

Eat happy Can food make people happy asks Josh Clark

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To understand how foods can make you happy, it’s and pain. It’s also a powerhouse at counteracting important to understand how the brain regulates excitatory neurotransmitters.

Foods that aid serotonin production include mood. The brain uses neurotransmitters as communication signals to communicate with the spinach, turkey and bananas. Spinach contains high rest of your body and to issue its commands. “Beat, concentrations of folate, a B-vitamin used in the heart!” the brain says when it sends octopamine to serotonin creation process. Bananas and turkey pack receptors located in the nerve fibers that make up the lots of tryptophan, an amino acid that’s converted into serotonin in the brain. Tryptophan cardiac muscle tissue.

The same goes for keeping ‘Serotonin is the manages to go directly to the brain by crossing the protective cellular barrier our moods stable. Two types of neurotransmitter between the bloodstream and the neurotransmitters are responsible for brain. This makes tryptophan a rarity, our moods: inhibitory and excitatory. most linked to since serotonin can’t cross this bloodExcitatory neurotransmitters like happiness’ brain barrier. norepinephrine stimulate our bodies Another major neurotransmitter and minds. We get worn out after being that helps regulate and amped up for too long, though, and so stabilize mood is gamma this type of neurotransmitter can actually lead aminobutyric acid to unhappiness. Inhibitory neurotransmitters (GABA), commonly like serotonin exert a calming influence on our referred to as “nature’s minds, in part by counteracting the effects of Valium” because excitatory neurotransmitters. Ultimately, the best of its tranquilizing moods are found when there is a balance between effects on the body. these two types.

GABA is produced These mood-affecting chemicals aren’t made during the Krebs out of thin air, however. They’re created by cycle, a physiological compounds found in food, and some foods are process by which better at helping neurotransmitter production nutrients are converted to energy for cellular use. than others. We’ll call these happy foods.

Typically, serotonin is the neurotransmitter most Foods don’t contain GABA, but some contain the linked to happiness, since you need it to regulate sleep neurotransmitter’s building block, an amino acid called l-glutamine. Beef and sesame and sunflower seeds all have high concentrations of glutamine.

Since l-glutamine can also transcend the blood-brain barrier and aids GABA production during the Krebs cycle, these foods can have an indirect but useful impact on your happiness.

While some foods have been proven to contain compounds that impact mood, others make us feel good just by eating them.

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HEALTH COMFORT FOOD There’s a big difference between foods that contain compounds that can physically affect your brain chemistry and foods that just make us feel good.

Foods in the latter group are called comfort foods.

While foods that produce physical happiness affect our physiology, comfort foods provide happiness on a psychological level. When you’re down in the dumps, however, you probably won’t care about the distinction, as long as you feel better.

Psychological studies have turned up evidence that the comfort foods we crave are actually artifacts from our pasts. We all have memories of happier times, and by eating foods that remind us of those times, we symbolically consume that past happiness. Comfort foods can also be linked to specific people in our lives: Eating a specific food that a loved one favoured can produce happy thoughts by triggering fond memories or associations of that person. This makes comfort foods fairly unique to each individual. If your childhood birthday parties represented the pinnacle of happiness for you, you’d likely crave birthday cake or some variation of the dessert when you’re blue.

Although comfort foods (or the events attached to them) vary from person to person, the foods we associate with comforting or happy emotions vary by gender. A 2005 Cornell University survey of 277 men and women found that females tend to seek comfort in sweet and sugary foods like ice cream, while males prefer savory comfort foods like steak and soup.

The study also found that men tend to use comfort foods as a reward, while women often feel guilty after indulging.

Interestingly enough, the females’ guilt may signal an evolutionary leg up over males. Regular comfort eating as a response to stress -- especially chronic stress -- is considered an unhealthy behavior akin to smoking cigarettes. Why? Because comfort foods are often low on nutrition. One 2007 study found that when given both grapes and hot buttered, salty popcorn to eat while watching a sad movie, the participants ate far more popcorn.

The science of happiness has turned up evidence that food can make you happy. However, a lack of certain foods - or at least some of their essential ingredients - can actually make you sad. A fatty acid called docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) is the most abundant fat found in the brain. This is good, since it’s an essential building block for brain structure. It’s also

easy to get; two major sources of DHA are fish and shellfish. A study by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) uncovered a link between DHA deficiency and an increase in the prevalence of depression in the United States.

Though no direct causal link has been discovered, other studies support the correlative link the NIH found. One study turned up the fact that North American and European countries that don’t eat a lot of fish have 10 times the prevalence of depression in their populations than does Taiwan, where fish is a staple of the popular diet. Although this doesn’t prove causation, it’s a pretty good reason to eat more fish and other foods containing DHA. Oddly, while some foods have been shown to improve mood in the human brain, restricting food intake can have an even more pronounced effect on happiness. A hormone called ghrelin within the stomach heads over to the brain and tells it that it’s time to eat. When ghrelin is produced, you feel hungry. After you ingest food, ghrelin production stops and your brain ceases to receive hunger signals.

When you don’t eat, however, ghrelin production continues and the hormone builds up in the brain.

While the increased ghrelin will prolong your hunger, researchers have found that the hormone also acts as a natural antidepressant. A 2008 University of Texas study found that rodents injected with ghrelin showed decreased symptoms of stress and anxiety.

Interestingly, rodents that were placed on a calorierestricted diet (40 percent of normal caloric intake) showed the same results.

Whether it’s psychological or physiological, it’s clear that foods have a powerful effect on our moods. It would appear that eating only nutrientpacked foods that affect brain chemistry might be the best way to achieve happiness, but the occasional indulgence should make you just as happy. Perhaps a healthy balance of nutritious foods and comfort foods can help maintain the balance in a person’s mood best of all.

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HEALTH

Shake it off Is there a link between exercise and happiness?

Undoubtably so says writer Tom Scheve.

If you’ve ever been stressed out, you may have attempted to relieve your anxiety in a number of ways: eating, logging hours in front of the television, or increasing your use of tobacco, alcohol or drugs.

All of these represent attempts to take your mind off your worries, or in some instinctual way to alter your brain chemistry a bit. And sometimes it works.

However, many of our go-to strategies -- like gorging on chocolate ice cream or having an extra glass or two of wine -- also have negative consequences, especially when carried out repeatedly.

In the long run, some behaviours undertaken to increase happiness can actually decrease it.

There is another strategy for reducing stress and improving mood that not only seems to make people happier, but also yields positive long-term effects more conducive to long-term happiness: exercise.

When we walk, run, bike or engage in some other form of physical exercise, we generally seem to feel happier and less anxious. People who are in poor physical condition are certainly no strangers to happiness, and one study of Stanford University student-athletes found that happiness for this

group was more a result of their personality and temperament than it was of athletic prowess.

However, there are certainly aspects of physical fitness that grease the skids of happiness.

In addition to increased energy, physically active people may feel a sense of accomplishment in meeting personal fitness goals. Also, they may feel proud of the improved physical appearance that those hours in the gym have produced. And getting outdoors on a nice day -- or even working out indoors around a bevy of strangers -- stimulates the mind and shakes up what may be for some people an otherwise monotonous and cubicle-centric daily existence.

But is there a direct link between exercise and happiness? We know that exercise has been shown to improve the sleep patterns of insomniacs, as well as lower their anxiety. Studies on rats indicate that exercise mimics the effects of antidepressants on the brain. Exercise is also responsible for the creation of new brain cells in the part of the brain responsible for learning and memory. Interestingly, happiness and exercise are similar in two notable ways: both are independently associated with a boost to the immune

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HAPPINESS, EXERCISE AND ANTIBODIES Both exercise and happiness lead to increased production of antibodies, which are a special type of protein produced by the immune system. When everything is working normally, antibodies arrive on the scene shortly after antigens -- bacteria, viruses or other unwanted invaders -- are detected in the body.

Antibodies hunt them down and bind themselves to the antigens. Once locked on, T-cells -- the immune system’s “killer cells” -- arrive and destroy the antigens.

Antibodies stick around in the body after they’re created in case the particular antigen they were designed to hunt shows back up. Antibodies also help produce other cells that aid and assist in the immune system.

People who are happy are more resistant to diseases ranging from the common cold to heart disease, while stress and anxiety tend to make people more susceptible to sickness, including diabetes and stroke.

Happiness has been shown to increase antibodies by as much as 50 percent.

Exercise is no slouch, either -- it has been shown to increase antibody production by as much as 300 per cent.

Exercise also directly increases the number of T-cells in your body. By increasing numbers of “hunters” (antibodies) and “killers” (T-cells), it’s no wonder a workout keeps you healthier. And since people who exercise tend to report higher levels of happiness, the exercise-induced happiness improves the immune system independent of the physiological effects of the exercise.

One of those effects is lowering cortisol levels in the body, a hormone that’s released when your body experiences stress. A little bit of it helps the immune system, but too much weakens your ability to fight illness. The fact that exercise decreases the level of cortisol in your body may also explain why it decreases feelings of anxiety.

There can be too much of a good thing, however.

While exercise bolsters the human immune system overall, intense exercise actually weakens it in the recovery period that follows the activity. This is not an uncommon occurrence with elite athletes, and seniors especially should keep in mind that intensive exercise may weaken their resistance to disease.

Studies have shown that meditation increases antibody production and, simultaneously, feelings of

happiness. This may in part be due to meditation’s similarities to what we traditionally perceive as being exercise, namely breath control, focus, and the tuning out of external stimuli.

Just as antibody production is connected to both exercise and happiness, so too is endorphin production. Endorphins are chemicals that are able to cross through the gaps between neurons in order to pass along a message from one to the next. There are many different kinds, and much remains to be learned about their different purposes and functions.

HAPPINESS, EXERCISE AND ENDORPHINS One thing is known for certain about endorphins: their ability to make you feel oh-so-good. When your body is subjected to certain stimuli like sex, food or pain, your hypothalamus calls for endorphins, and the cells throughout your body that contain them heed the call. When endorphins lock into special receptor cells (called opioid receptors, because opiates also fit them), they block the transmission of pain signals and also produce a euphoric feeling -- exactly like opiates.

Endorphins act as both a painkiller and as the pay-off for your body’s reward system.

When you hurt yourself (or eat a hot chili pepper), you may get a big dose of endorphins to ease the pain. You may also get an endorphin blast from talking to a stranger, eating a satisfying meal or being exposed to ultraviolet light. (Everyone has different amounts of endorphins, and what may trigger an endorphin rush for one person could do nothing for someone else).

The pay-off in the form of your body tapping into its own stash of “opiates” is to let you know you’ve had enough -- and convince you to do it again sometime soon.

Exercise stimulates endorphin production as well, but for a different reason. You’re probably familiar with the term “runner’s high,” which refers to the euphoric feeling one sometimes gets when exercising.

Researchers have found that light-to-moderate weight training or cardiovascular exercise doesn’t produce endorphins, only heavy weights or training that incorporates sprinting or other anaerobic exertion.

When your body crosses over from an aerobic state to an anaerobic state, it’s suddenly operating without enough oxygen to satisfy the muscles and cells screaming out for it. This is when the “runner’s high” occurs – best of all it’s free and good for you.

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Inspire

‘‘Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one’s values” -Ayn Rand

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INSPIRE

5 Reasons Why Experiences Make You Happier Than Possessions

By Jenny Marchal

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Ask anyone what their ultimate goal in life is and most people will tell you they want to be happy.

Happiness is something we all strive to find. We believe that we will only be happy once we achieve certain things like buying the perfect house, getting married or making a load of money. For most of us money is a limited resource and what we spend our money on is what should ultimately make us happy.

It’s a great misconception that having more money will make us happier. Many studieshave found that reaching a goal of wealth does make us happy but that our happiness quickly decreases thereafter.

Material possessions are rife in this day and age of advancing technology and we tend to want to spend our hard-earned cash on the latest smartphones, computers or cars.

Given a choice between spending our money on possessions or some sort of experience, most people will opt for the latest gadget believing that it will make them happier in the long-run. After all, a new phone will last a lot longer than a three week holiday to New Zealand, right? Well that’s where you may be wrong and here’s five reasons why.

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We Adapt To Possessions Quickly Ever bought something and felt that happiness high?

You think that thing is the best thing in the world in that moment, but six months down the line will you still feel the same about it? Probably not. The problem is, as humans, we are made to adapt to things. Dr. Thomas Gilovich, a psychologist from Cornell University has done extensive research in the link between money and happiness. He has found that the enemy of happiness is adaptation and we can get bored of things very easily, especially with possessions that we have less emotional attachment to. Gilovich’s studies have therefore found that money buys happiness, but only up to a point.

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Possessions Foster Comparisons With Others You are much less prone to negatively compare your own experiences to someone else’s than you would with material purchases. Envy can be created through comparisons about material wealth, leading to the harbouring of negativity towards others. Experiences don’t seem to have the same effect – more people tend to be fascinated rather than envious of travel, compared to what somebody owns. This is because it’s hard to quantify the relative value of any two experiences as they are very individual, therefore, jealousy and envy aren’t as much of an issue.

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3

Experiences Form Our Identity What forms our identity is not what car we drive, what latest smartphone we have or the fashionable clothes in our wardrobes. Our identity is made up of an accumulation of everything we’ve seen, the things we’ve done, and the places we’ve been. Buying the latest iPhone is exciting but it isn’t going to fundamentally change who you are; walking the Inca Trail in Peru or doing a skydive in New Zealand will enrich your life in far more ways than you could ever know. At the end of the day, we are the sum total of our experiences.

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We Are More Interested In People’s Experiences Than Possessions Shared experiences connect us more to other people than shared consumption. Talk to people about the latest gadget you’ve bought and you may get some takers but you will most likely lose your audience after a while. Talk about your travelling experiences and you will find people are interested to know more, they will engage with you better, and it will encourage similar stories. At the end of the day, you can’t really bond with someone who also has an Apple Watch but finding someone who has been to the same places as you can be the start of a friendship.

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Experiences Last Longer It is a misconception to think that a physical object will last longer than a one-off experience like a concert or vacation but this isn’t the case. Once we’ve experienced something it stays with us for years and even a lifetime; the investment is much greater and the effects are prolonged.

Anticipation is a huge plus when it comes to experiences. Excitement starts from the very minute you start planning a vacation or outing somewhere and lasts all the way through to the experience and the memories you’ll cherish forever afterwards.

Gilovich also discovered that although an experience creates this excitement and anticipation, buying or ordering a purchase actually causes impatience rather than excitement.

So, maybe think twice about what you would rather spend your money on. Happiness can’t be bought but there are definitely ways of spending our money wisely that will help us achieve more happiness in our lives.

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INSPIRE

- STORY OF WISDOM -

Love,Wealth & Success

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A

woman came out of her house and saw three old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said, “I don’t think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.”

“Is the man of the house home?” they asked. “No”, she said. “He’s out.”

“Then we cannot come in”, they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. “Go tell them I am home and invite them in,” he said.

The woman went out and invited the men in. “We do not go into a house together,” they replied. “Why is that?” she wanted to know. One of the old men explained: “His name is Wealth,” he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, “He is Success, and I am Love.” Then he added, “Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.”

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed. “How nice!”

he said. “Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth.

Let him come and fill our home with wealth!”

His wife disagreed. “My dear, why don’t we invite Success?” Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: “Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!”

“Let us heed our daughter-in-law’s advice,” said the husband to his wife. “Go out and invite Love to be our guest.”

The woman went out and asked the three old men, “Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.” Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other two also got up and followed him.

Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: “I only invited Love, why are you coming in?” The old men replied together: “If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would’ve stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!”

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Asma El Husana Al Shakur The Acknowledging One The Grateful, The Appreciative, The One who gives a lot of reward for a little obedience

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INSPIRE

Why Volunteer ?

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6 FOR 6 A JOURNAL OF HEALTH AND SOCIAL BEHAVIOUR STUDY SET OUT TO SEE IF VOLUNTEERING IMPROVES 6 THINGS:

Happiness

LIfe Satisfaction

Sense of control over life

Physical health

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Self - esteem

Depression symptoms

INSPIRE

DOING GOOD FEELS GOOD PEOPLE WHO VOLUNTEER :

94%

says it improves their mood

78%

96%

says it lowers their stress levels

95%

says it enriches their sense of purpose.

25%

says it makes their community a better place

says it helps manage a chronic illness

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SEARCH AND YOU SHALL FIND IN ONE SIMPLE GOOGLE SEARCH, YOU’LL BE SHOCKED HOW MANY PEOPLE AND PLACES IN YOUR COMMUNITY CAN USE YOUR TALENTS, TIME AND TREASURES. GO AHEAD, TRY IT!

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INSPIRE

Pursuing Happiness with Determination Led by HH Sheikha Aljazia Bin Saif Al Nahyan, SEDRA Foundation plays a key role in contributing to the national goal of inclusion. Here, they discuss how and why we should we together as a community

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he UAE has always emphasized that the wealth of the nation is in the capacity of its people. The late HH Sheikh Zayed said, “No matter how many buildings, foundations, schools, and hospitals we build or how many bridges we raise, all these are material entities. The real spirit behind progress is the human spirit, the able man with his intellect and capabilities.” Our magnanimous wise leaders continue to invest in people particularly the youth and most vulnerable groups.

This country, characterised by innovation, positivity and tolerance, prioritises the wellbeing of all its residents’ and citizens. Ministries of Happiness and Youth headed by young, female Emirati leaders activate initiatives to ignite the human communal spirit for people of all ages.

These progressive advances are in line with the vision to create an inclusive barrier free country outlined in UAE ratified UN Convention for Persons

with Disabilities that emphasise rights and equity.

The international community has moved forward from the medical model, the rights based approach and now with the “nothing for us, without us” approach there is a consensus that involvement and empowerment is a gateway towards fulfilled happy lives.

The epitome of an inclusive, barrier-free society is when basic rights such as access to schooling, healthcare, employment and community spaces are are available to everyone and happiness is achieved when individuals are able to fully participate as respected contributing community members. This means cohesive services from cradle to grave: schools are equipped to educate all learners, there are vocational training options and facilities, accessible workspaces are available so the blind and deaf can safely roam, people with intellectual disabilities are able to secure jobs, those on wheelchairs can pray

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at any community mosque, and people of all abilities are able to participate in all community initiatives.

The change in terminology by HH Sheikh Mohammed Bin Rashid from ‘disability’ to ‘determination’ illustrates the mind frame of our nation, instilling a deep sense of pride and respect amongst citizens. The leadership acknowledges the hardships, strength and patience of those with disabilities and their families. This encouraging gesture followed by the launch of the comprehensive national strategic policies for people with determination will pave the way towards an inclusive future.

Plans to implement the individualized happiness targets for every segment of society are endorsed by all entities with everyone playing an integral role is the only true pathway to success. This journey will culminate at international platforms - Expo 2020 the Special Olympic World Games 2019.

SEDRA Foundation led by chairperson HH Sheikha Aljazia Bin Saif Al Nahyan, plays a key role in contributing to the national goal of inclusion by offering niche programs to bridge the gaps in services.

SEDRA understands that change in perception is necessary to make headway. In the case of happiness: knowing that many equate happiness with giving, does that mean that people with disabilities should find contentment in receiving? In what ways can the community expand participation to include people of determination in acts of giving?

Through SEDRA awareness workshops and corporate trainings the new inclusive paradigm is introduced. With a synergetic inclusive mindset, Inclusion is shifted from the CSR office to everyone’s desk. As Mahatma Gandhi says “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” It could be said that a happy nation is one that has mastered the fine art of giving and receiving.

SEDRA continues to pioneer pilot initiatives based on current community needs, creating sustainable solutions, some of these initiatives include: youth clubs for adolescents with intellectual disabilities, a volunteer program for young adults with disabilities, short term and long term vocational internships, shadow teacher qualification courses, and family support groups. With its finger on the pulse SEDRA leads the course towards inclusive best practices.

The genuine measure of success will come when an innate belief is instilled within each community member that everybody deserves the same opportunities and each person actively contributes towards that belief, that is when happiness will be a national reality. This vision, set by our founders, rooted in Bedouin traditions and Islamic culture, and spearheaded by do-gooders, is attained by a communal heartbeat.

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INSPIRE

Positive Psychology: How to Nurture Happiness

by Dr Asma Naheed, Educational Psychologist, Special Needs Consultant and Public Speaker

Most of us believe that we know what happiness is but do we know the elements that contribute to it?

Here, Dr Asma explores how to go from merely surviving to thriving

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any people have a different definition of human resources, organisational functioning, happiness. For me, happiness is a fleeting therapy, career counseling and healthcare.

Most of us believe that we know what happiness positive emotion. It could be inspired by the tweet of a bird to or a cold breeze. It could arise is but do we know the elements that contribute to it? from a meaningful conversation with a loved one, a Seligman’s theoretical model of happiness, PERMA, smile from a stranger or even a good book. Quite assists us to recognize those elements and how we simply, happiness is when we feel content from can manipulate them to achieve a life filled with inside. It is a feeling of self-satisfaction and boosts happiness, minus all the negative emotions. ones abilities.

The PERMA theory is one of the most critically Positive psychology is a modern branch of acclaimed ones in the field of positive psychology.

Happily, the PERMA Model is easily applicable psychology that plays a significant role in defining in our personal and the authentic happiness. It professional life and is is the scientific study of widely used in school the strengths that enable PERMA is an acronym for a model and colleges for personal individuals and communities of wellbeing. According to Seligman, development. to thrive. The field is founded PERMA makes up five important Being aware of the on the belief that people building blocks of well-being and PERMA model is the want to lead meaningful and happiness: first step to applying this fulfilling lives, to cultivate what theory to your life. Keep is best within themselves, and Positive emotions – feeling good referring back to the five to enhance their experiences Engagement – being completely elements of the model of love, work, and play. absorbed in activities to help you apply it to Simply put, positive Relationships – being authentically each aspect of your life. psychology is the study of connected to others Remember to think in happiness, and what makes Meaning – purposeful existence a positive perspective life worth living.

Achievement – a sense of at home, school and at Martin Seligman is a pioneer accomplishment and success work. Nurturing positive of positive psychology, he has thinking and experiences a systematic theory about in children can help them go beyond why happy people are happy, and ‘surviving’ to really ‘thriving’ in life. he uses the scientific method to Find the things that make you explore it in more detail. happy and can make you fully Seligman found that the most engaged. You could even put goals satisfied, upbeat people were to achieving more and challenging those who had discovered and yourself in the activities you enjoy. exploited their unique combination Focus on your relationships with of ‘signature strengths’, such your family and friends by finding as humanity, temperance and ways to connect and enjoy each persistence. This vision of happiness others company. Find the meaning combines the virtue ethics of to your life and what gives you Confucius, Mencius and Aristotle a sense of purpose, it’s different with modern psychological theories for everyone. of motivation.

PERMA is theory of well being Since its inception, positive which cultivate positive habits in psychology has spurred research in a person to achieve a content state a variety of areas, such as optimism, self- esteem, well-being, motivation, flow, strengths of mind. Well-being cannot exist just in your own and virtues, hope, resilience, mindfulness, and positive head. Wellbeing is a combination of feeling good as thinking. Specifically, there is a focus on three areas well as actually having meaning, good relationships of positive experiences: the past (wellbeing and and accomplishment.

‘The good life consists in deriving happiness by satisfaction) the present (happiness and flow) and the future (hope and optimism). These fields of research using your signature strengths every day in the main formed the basis for positive interventions to increase realms of living,’ says Seligman. ‘The meaningful happiness and wellbeing. These interventions have life adds one more component: using these same then been applied in settings such as education, strengths to forward knowledge, power or goodness’.

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Happiness Journey The Ministry of Happiness on wellbeing for life

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t is no surprise that the pursuit of happiness has been a central concern for human beings all around the world. Regardless of ethnicity, culture or background, people in essence ultimately desire to lead happy, meaningful lives, in enabling environments where they can flourish and thrive.

Back in 1971, when the United Arab Emirates was established, the late founding father, Sheikh Zayed bin Sultan Al Nahyan has expressed that the uniting of the seven emirates was implanted with the intention of creating greater happiness for the people: ‘the most important achievement of the Union, in my view, is the happiness of the community’. To the late Sheikh Zayed, wealth, he stated, was the happiness of his people. The wisdom behind these words, mentioned almost half a century ago, reveals that the wealth of a nation is never solely confined to mere economic factors.

Happiness as such, is not new to the UAE, but rather deeply rooted in its history.

Today, led by the Minister of State for Happiness and Wellbeing, the National Program for Happiness and Positivity seeks to instill ‘Happiness and positivity … as a lifestyle, government commitment, and a spirit uniting the UAE community’ – His Highness Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Vice President and Prime Minister of the UAE, Ruler of Dubai. Instilling Happiness & Positivity as a lifestyle for the UAE community, as defined by His Highness, encompasses everyone residing in the UAE, including tourists, visitors, and even travelers in transit. Everyone touching foot on the UAE needs to experience greater happiness and wellbeing.

But how do we instill Happiness as a lifestyle, for community with a unique dynamic of over 200 nationalities? One way the National Program for Happiness and Positivity (NPHP) aims to achieve this is through sustained community engagements that discourse the essential understanding that happiness is ultimately a choice, and that ‘Happiness is a journey focused on all segments of the UAE society, and the role of the government is to create an enabling environment to achieve this goal’. –Her Excellency Ohood Al Roumi, Minster of State for Happiness and Wellbeing. In addition, the NPHP communicates that happiness is not a destination but rather an ongoing learning journey, which undoubtedly features natural ups and downs.

In celebration of the imminent International Day of Happiness on March 20th, the NPHP is excited to announce the launch of its second edition of the

Happiness Journey The Journey has been extended from one day to one week due to high demand taking place on 16-20 March March this year. This is in line with the UAE leadership’s pledge of creating the enabling environment for happiness in our nation and pioneering the concept of authentic happiness and positivity worldwide.

The Happiness Journey (HJ) is our biggest annual experiential, community event celebrating the International Day of Happiness on 20 March.

People from all walks of life, from all backgrounds, age groups, and cultures, come together to enjoy and explore the true meaning of happiness and wellbeing. The HJ will include unique experiential platforms imagined by specialty curators using the science of happiness and wellbeing. The event has been endorsed by the United Nations Foundation, and we aim to create a global movement sprouting from the UAE, hopefully to become a global hub for happiness and wellbeing.

This year the journey also celebrates the end of a Year of Giving, and highlight the Year of Zayed by reliving the values of the late founding father, HH Sheikh Zayed Bin Sultan AlNahyan. It is worth mentioning that the values HH Sheikh Zayed cherished so deeply also correlate with the Science of Happiness & wellbeing values.

The HJ will open up with a grand festive Happiness Carnival, followed by the opening of the HJ experiences platform. The HJ will feature unique, multisensory experiences that allow visitors to learn about their happiness and wellbeing in a fun and interactive way, keeping in mind that happiness means different things to different people. This allows people to explore hands-on, and literally, attempt to take happiness into their own hands. We expect everyone to leave the journey with rich takeaways, insights, and practices to add to their everyday life, in aims of increasing the levels of happiness & wellbeing together.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination. For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin—real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.

Stay tuned for more exclusives on the Happiness Journey www.happy.ae, and follow @HappyUAE on Social Media

‘To the late Sheikh Zayed, wealth, he stated, was the happiness of his people’

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This month I am.. .…

Trying to solve..

Reading..

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

Listening to..

One rainy afternoon, while riding a city bus, Gretchen Rubin asked herself, “What do I want from life, anyway?”

She answered, “I want to be happy”—yet she spent no time thinking about her happiness. In a flash, she decided to dedicate a year to a happiness project.

The result? One of the most thoughtful and engaging works on happiness to have emerged from the recent explosion of interest in the subject. The Happiness Project synthesizes the wisdom of the ages with current scientific research, as Rubin brings readers along on her year to greater happiness.

Ted Talk: Flow: the secret to happiness by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi As survivor of WWII , Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, a scholar of happiness asks, “What makes a life worth living?” Noting that money cannot make us happy, he looks to those who find pleasure and lasting satisfaction in activities that bring about a state of “flow.” All you need to do is work out what that is for you.

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‘‘Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling” -Margaret Lee Runbeck