Guide to Brown 2013

The Completely Unofficial Guide to Brown

INSIDE: Brown 6 from A-Z 22 First-Year Housing Guide 26 Herald 101 THE BROWN

Daily Herald

Illustrations and cover by Madeleine Denman

A cappella

A A.B.

BROWN

An oversubscribed vocal and social activity. If you live near the Wayland or MorrissChamplin arches, you might want to invest in soundproofing your room.

BlogDailyHerald

The online hub of campus life and go-to source for information on cool happenings and people in and around Brunonia.

(See The Brown Daily Herald)

The bachelor of arts degree most of you will leave with. Everyone else calls it a B.A.

The Blue Room

A.B.-Sc.B.

Brown’s version of Starbucks. Recently renovated, it’s the Brown eatery the University wants visitors to see. Its double chocolate muffins and custom-made sandwiches are favorites.

This five-year program will get you two — count ’em, two! — degrees before you leave.

AQR

Tucked on the bottom floor of the Rock, the Absolute Quiet Room is just as serious about silence as its name suggests. Friendships and romances have ended after one party had the audacity to talk in there.

ADOCH A Day on College Hill. A lot of you probably came to this spring event right after acceptance letters went out. We eschew homework for a day, act cool, collegiate and cheerful and throw parties that are unusually large for Tuesday nights. This is not necessarily indicative of life at Brown.

Banner

B

BOLT Brown Outdoor Leadership Training is a unique opportunity to learn how to tie a trucker’s hitch, avoid the sophomore slump and bury your poop with a trowel. Five days in the White Mountains of New Hampshire with nine strangers right before the start of sophomore year — it’s probably better than whatever you had planned for the last week of summer 2014.

The University’s computerized student record system. The interface makes AOL dial-up circa 1996 look like an iPhone. The system was upgraded recently to include a course scheduling tool.

Binder, Dave

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A Spring Weekend tradition. He sings mediocre but endearing covers of bachelorette party favorites to hordes of drunken Brown students on Wriston Quad every year.

(See Spring Weekend, Wriston Quadrangle)

Brown Band Much like your high school marching band. Except without the emphasis on marching. Or music, for that matter. But the musicians use profanity, their uniforms have flair and the group is the only college band that does shows on ice skates during hockey season. Known for performing holiday songs in your favorite study spot right before finals.

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The Brown Daily Herald

The finest daily publication in this fair republic. Published since 1866, daily since 1891, The Herald is financially and editorially independent from the University, is available free all over campus and covers University and city news, opinion, arts, science and sports. Plus, Sudoku!

C

By Herald staff

CFF Chicken Finger Friday. Beloved weekly lunch at the V-Dub and one of the only reasons to stay on meal plan after your first year. Responsible for an estimated 13 of the Freshman 15.

BSR

Carberr y, Josiah

Brown Student Radio, WBRU-FM’s estranged hipster cousin, broadcasts in the evenings, seven days a week. The station is so underground that it can only be heard on its website, bsrlive.com.

Brown’s legendary professor of psychoceramics — the study of cracked pots. He does not exist. Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. He also has Brown’s online library system and the only double chicken patty sandwich available at a Rhode Island fast food restaurant named after him.

BuDS Brown University Dining Services student employees’ ubiquitous red hats make them as adorable as their acronym. BuDS workers staff campus eateries — patiently taking sandwich orders, swiping meal cards and restocking shelves. Be nice, and you may not get charged extra for the fresh mozzarella on your Gate panini.

BTV Brown Television, home to studentproduced television shows, UCS “Fireside Chats,” second-run movies and endless replays of the last big speaker to hit Salomon Center.

Bus tunnel Technically the “Rumford Bus Tunnel,” it goes through College Hill (literally), from Starbucks to the intersection of Waterman and North Main streets. Don’t try walking through the tunnel. You will never be heard from again.

(See Jo’s)

Cianci, Vincent a.k.a. “Buddy” The renowned, longest-serving former mayor of Providence, who got out of the slammer in 2007. First elected in 1974, he resigned in 1984 after pleading no contest to assaulting his wife’s lover with a fireplace log (!), proceeded to host a radio show for a few years and was then reelected in 1990 — until he was convicted of federal crimes in 2002. Legend has it Buddy used to ride up to Brown frat parties on a white horse during his first term. He could often be seen playing cymbals with the Brown Band at football games. In 2008, he made an appearance at The Herald’s annual — and equally notorious — November banquet.

Cicilline ’83, David Rhode Island’s openly gay, Jewish, Italian, first district congressman and former Providence mayor, who’s also a Brown alum. As an undergrad, he co-founded the Brown Democrats with John F. Kennedy Jr. ’83. Soon after he left the mayor’s office for Washington in January 2011, it came to light that the city’s finances were in far worse shape than Providence’s citizens had been led to believe. Sucked for the next guy, Angel Taveras, who has taken some controversial steps including cutting a deal with Bruno to address the deficit.

(See Taveras, Angel and Kennedy, John Fitzgerald, Jr. ’83)

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Coffee Milk – Dining Services

Coffee Milk

CPR

The official state drink of Rhode Island. It’s basically chocolate milk made with a sweet, coffee-flavored syrup. It’s delicious and scarce outside of the state, so drink up while you still can.

1. Cardiopulmonary Resuscitation. 2. Course Performance Report, a written evaluation of your performance in a class. You can request one of those from any professor, either in addition to a letter grade or to supplement an “S” in an S/NC class. (See New Curriculum, S/NC)

Cranston Rhode Island’s third-largest city, but you’ll probably never go there unless you’re seeking dim sum closer than Boston. Most notable for serving as the inspiration for the city of Quahog in “Family Guy.”

Credit / Meal credit Getting into Brown is only half the intellectual battle: Figuring out how to purchase food on campus most effectively in the face of Brown’s byzantine and utterly illogical meal plan setup makes organic chemistry look like a game of Go Fish. One meal credit will get you into the Ratty or the V-Dub or purchase $6.80 worth of food at Jo’s, the Blue Room or the Gate. Some plans offer a lot of points with fewer meals, whereas others will give you a set number of meals per week and fewer points.

College Hill Home, sweet home.

The College Hill Independent College Hill’s weekly news rag, but more importantly, The Herald’s chief kickball competitor (current record: 11-3, Herald). The de facto headquarters of Brown’s hipster population.

Concentration In the rest of the world, this is called a “major.”

(See New Curriculum)

The Corporation

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In October, February and May, the cabal of rich men and women who really run Brown meet in Sayles Hall to decide our future. You likely don’t know who the members of the Brown Corporation are, and that’s probably just how they like it.

(See Flex point, the Gate, Jo’s, Ratty, V-Dub)

Critical Review Student reviews of most classes and professors at Brown. No matter how great the course description looks, a bad Critical Review rating should make you at least pause.

D Dining Ser vices Brown Dining Services tries to make itself beloved with cupcake decorating events and dining hall theme days. Sometimes it even succeeds. The food isn’t as bad as people say, nor is it as good as you’ll want it to be. Inventors of the (in)famous Polynesian Ratatouille.

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Due date – First-year seminars

Due date

Faunce House

It is always flexible. Even when the professor swears otherwise.

Since its reopening in Fall 2010, it has housed the Stephen Robert ’62 Campus Center. Home to the Blue Room, study spaces, a printing cluster, the Underground and those famous stairs at the top of the Main Green where hipsters can see and be seen.

DPS The Department of Public Safety. As Brown is to the Ivy League, DPS is to a real police department. Technically they have full police powers, but they don’t really use them. Expect stern warnings for the most part.

If they’re really grumpy, they’ll wait outside of Spiritus to accost underage drinkers. Don’t push them too far though. They have armored Segway scooters, and they’re not afraid to use them.

E EMS

Endowment, small The reason behind most of the University’s financial problems — in bed. Prepare for many similar jokes over your next four years, especially after our endowment shrank by about $800 million in the wake of the 2008 financial crisis.

EMS stands for Emergency Medical Services. It also stands for Eastern Mountain Sports. Call the wrong one, and instead of getting a stomach pump, you’ll be getting a thermos and a GPS system to help you stumble home.

Extension You will most likely ask for at least one of these in your time at Brown. Make up a good reason, and you’ll probably get it. Even when the professor says at the beginning of the year that he or she never gives extensions.

F

(See Due date)

(See Blue Room, Main Green, Underground)

Federal Hill Providence’s “Little Italy,” they like to say.

Since it’s only really one street (Atwells Avenue), you can get great pasta, delicious cannoli and vengeance for your brother’s murder all in one place.

Fish Co. The late, legendary South Water Street dive bar whose Wednesday Brown nights were the site of most of the bad decisions made by first-years past. The ’Co. went belly up in late 2010 and has since been replaced by a marginally classier bar.

Everyone still calls it “Fish Co.” (or “Whis Co.”) and goes there to get trashed on Wednesdays.

(See Whiskey Republic)

First-years You. Everybody else calls them “freshmen.”

Fall Weekend Pretty much everyone else calls this Columbus Day. We Brownies aren’t so keen on Christopher and his colonizing ways, so we have the terribly vague “Fall Weekend.” Spring Weekend it is not. But still, a day off from classes.

(See Spring Weekend)

First-year seminars Take one while you can.

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Flex point – Hutchings-Votey Organ

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Flex point

GCB

These little beauties come as part of your meal plan or can be purchased from BDS for $1 per point. All on-campus eateries take them.

The Graduate Center Bar, an actual bar buried in the basement of Grad Center. A good place to go on a weeknight to split a pitcher of beer and a game of pool. It’s $30 to become a member, but stay away if you’re under 21 — unlike most bars in Providence, they don’t take fake IDs.

(See Graduate Center)

The Gordon Gee Lavator y Complex The portable bathrooms that grace the Main Green every Spring Weekend. Purportedly christened after a former Brown president who stayed for two years before leaving for a higher-paying job at Vanderbilt University.

(See Spring Weekend)

Graduate Center

FriSc Unveiled in January 2007, the Friedman Study Center is a 24-hour haven for procrastinators. It’s housed in the basement of the SciLi and decorated in a sort of 1960s-futuristic style. In other words, lots of lime green and oddly shaped furniture.

Front Green/Quiet Green A good place for reading or making out on pleasant days.

Rumor has it the University has had a rule on the books since the 1960s that you can be naked here.

The Gate

G

Scheduled to relocate this spring to Andrews Dining Hall, the Gate is the couch-infested rec room of Pembroke Campus. Simply decent pizza becomes stellar when you can buy it with meal credits instead of actual money.

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(See Credit, Pembroke)

Grad Center has all the charm of a sterile, riot-proof bunker — but without the sterility.

Home to many of Brown’s juniors, this fivebuilding abomination has been plaguing the campus aesthetic since it was constructed, or by some accounts, assembled from Lincoln Logs.

The only valuable thing about this structure is the land it is currently devaluing.

Granoff Also known as the Perry and Marty Granoff Center for the Creative Arts or the CAC. It’s brand-new and fancy and garnered a rave architectural review in the New York Times. Forty million dollars will get you a basement movie theater, a recording studio and an avant-garde aesthetic straight out of “Minority Report.” So who needs financial aid anyway?

H

HutchingsVotey Organ Located in Sayles, it’s the largest one in the world! We suspect there aren’t many H-V organs in the world.

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IMP – Magaziner ‘69 P’06 P’07 P’10, Ira

IMP

I

Jo’s

1. International Mentoring Program to help first-year international students adjust to studying and living in the United States. 2. The wee folk who work long into the night in the bowels of the Ratty to make us delicious “magic bars.”

Technically Josiah’s, the snack bar of choice for residents south of the Main Green. Located on the ground floor of New Dorm A, it’s the home of salads, snacks and delicious fried foods. Save yourselves the embarrassment of being instantly labeled as first-years and order a spicy with. Just trust us.

(See Main Green, New Dorm and Carberry, Josiah)

(See Magic Bars)

IPTV We can watch TV on our computers, but we still complain that there are too few channels.

K

The Ivy Room A popular lunch spot for those lucky few with flex points to spare, the Ivy Room turns into an all-vegetarian eatery at night. The falafel may not be authentic, but whatever it is, it’s worth the long line.

(See Flex points)

J

Houses the Mail Room, classrooms and lots of administrative offices. Everyone walks through it a few times a week, so student groups camp out in the lobby to pester passersby to sign petitions and buy baked goods.

The John Hay Librar y Closed for renovations this year, the Hay is one of those very collegiate libraries in which you feel like you shouldn’t touch anything. It has many rare collections and is home to the University Archives, for you soon-to-be Brown history buffs.

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L

J. Walter Wilson

Kennedy Jr. ’83, John Fitzgerald We’re glad he broke the family trend of Harvard attendance. Yes, he kept a pig in his dorm.

Loui’s A Brook Street restaurant you will inevitably discover at 5 a.m. Try the grilled muffins.

M

Main Green If you haven’t figured out what this is, go home.

Magaziner ’69 P’06 P’07 P’10, Ira The New Curriculum was his brainchild while he was an undergraduate. Now he’s the mastermind behind the Clinton Foundation.

(See New Curriculum)

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Magic Bars – Parking space

Magic Bars

New Dorm

One of the few delicious desserts at the Ratty. No, they don’t have weed in them. But they do have coconut, chocolate, graham cracker and probably enough trans fats to kill a small animal.

Tasty.

(See Ratty)

Not so new anymore (it opened in 1991), the former Thayer Street quad is officially called Vartan Gregorian Quad — but don’t call it that.

The two buildings contain upperclassmen suites, often coveted living space for juniors. Building A is home to Jo’s, a campus snack bar.

Meiklejohn Pronounced like “nickel-john,” but with an “M.” Alexander Meiklejohn was a professor of philosophy.

Meiklejohns are now the upper-class counselors who dish straight truth on anything you need to know about academics at Brown.

O

(See Jo’s)

Orientation Enjoy this while it lasts — being overscheduled will never be this relaxing again.

MPC

Orwig

Minority Peer Counselor. The counselors who are specially trained to advise first-year students on minority issues.

Underused but beautiful music library; only open until 10 p.m.

N

Naked Doughnut Run On the last night of reading period, dedicated scholars in the Rock and the SciLi get a special treat: doughnuts! Made doubly delicious by the awkward nudes who hand them to you.

P

Paxson, Christina Brown’s 19th President, Christina Paxson hails from Princeton, where she was dean of the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs. She’s only in her second year at Brown, but her two dogs have already developed quite a student following.

(See Rock, SciLi)

Nelson Fitness Center Equipped with over 10,000 square feet of workout equipment and an Olympic-sized swimming pool, the new fitness center promises to transform our school into an athletic powerhouse within the decade. Our top sports? Competitive farm sharing, the 200-meter literary reference and trampling injustice.

New Curriculum This is what allows you take whatever classes you want and potentially graduate without having taken a single one of them for a grade. It’s 40 years old, but we still call it new. Go figure.

Pacifica House Brown’s one and only secret society. So secret, in fact, that you can visit its website.

Parking space Something you’ll never find in Providence, anywhere. And certainly not overnight or for more than two hours.

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Patriot’s Court – Queer Alliance

Patriot’s Court

PLME

An extension of Wriston Quad. A bit quieter, in theory. Otherwise unremarkable.

Brown’s Program in Liberal Medical Education lets you go straight into the Medical School without ever taking the MCATs or second-semester organic chemistry. Pronounced phonetically, like “plee-me.”

(See Wriston Quadrangle)

Pawtucket A city bordering Providence — pronounced puhTUCKet, not PAWtucket. The locals tend to get rabid if you say it wrong. The movie “Outside Providence” takes place here.

Pembroke The northern part of Brown’s campus used to be Pembroke College, an all-female coordinate to Brown.

The official merge occurred in 1971, though underthe-table sexiling had been going on for years. Legend has it that if you walk over the seal on the steps leading up to the college, your next sexual encounter will result in impregnation. Or you’ll meet the person you’re supposed to marry here at Brown. Or both. We can’t remember.

(See Sexile)

ProJo The Providence Journal, Rhode Island’s largest daily newspaper. Its reporters get very excited when big things happen in this tiny state. Remember that “Survivor” guy Richard? Yeah, the one from Newport. He was on the cover of the ProJo for four days straight.

Oh, and they’ve won some Pulitzers.

Q

PostThe Herald’s rebellious kid sister. It comes out every Thursday and covers music, film, theater, food, politics and campus culture.

(See The Brown Daily Herald)

Power Street Formerly one of the few lots where students could park. Now, thanks to development, a place to gaze wistfully as a shuttle whisks you to your car in a new lot far, far away.

(See Parking space)

Providence Place Mall

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One of the crowning achievements of Buddy Cianci’s mayoral administration, this sprawling shopping center provides almost everything you need in a 15-minute walk from campus. As long as everything you need can be found at chain stores, a multiplex and a food court.

Queer Alliance The LGBTQ umbrella organization. One of the most visible student groups on campus, it focuses on making Brown a more positive space for queer students by providing a variety of educational and social programming. Along with one or two huge, risque, highly publicized parties that are sometimes attended by Fox News producers.

(See Sex Power God)

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R

RC – Sayles Hal

Rhode Island

RC

Officially the State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.

A recent push from activists and lawmakers to rid the state of the second part of its name, and all the ugly connotations it carries, gained momentum but was defeated at the ballot box in 2010.

So Lil’ Rhody is still the smallest state in the nation with the longest name — and now it’s your home.

1. The black sheep of the cola family. 2. Residential Counselor, the dedicated individual who will guide you through Orientation, help you adjust to college life and give you (almost) free condoms, then persuade you not to vomit on yourself (or your roommate) after your first trip to Wriston Quad.

(See Wriston Quadrangle, Orientation)

Ratty The Sharpe Refectory. According to legend, the full name got shortened to “Rat Factory,” and lazy Brown students took it a step further to its current cognomen. It has road signs for easy navigation, but watch out for bottlenecks and congestion. Love it — it loves you.

RIPTA

The Rock The John D. Rockefeller, Jr. Library. The main humanities library on campus where students spend more time hitting the books than they ever thought possible (probably more because they get lost in the cryptic, dimly lit stacks and less because they’re motivated). Be warned of the ear-piercing, closing-time bell — and remember, if you’re there to hear it, you’ve been working too long.

S

The bus. You can ride it for free with your Brown ID.

RISD Rhode Island School of Design. Brown students can, at least in theory, take advantage of classes at RISD, but the lack of storage space and its wildly different schedule hinder most Brown students from heading halfway down College Hill. But those who make it into classes at RISD find them to be well worth the trouble.

(See College Hill)

Reading Period Around three to 10 days off between when classes end and final exams begin. You’re supposed to finish up your work, but you’ll end up drinking a lot.

S/NC Satisfactory/No Credit. The option to take any class pass/ fail. It’s one of the beauties of the New Curriculum.

(See New Curriculum)

Sayles Hall The giant, Hogwarts-like building on the Main Green. Home to classrooms, the Hutchings-Votey Organ and portraits of all of Brown’s past presidents.

(See Main Green, Hutchings-Votey Organ)

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Sex Power God – Simmons, Ruth

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Sex Power God

Simmons Quad

The Queer Alliance’s annual, insane fall party. A producer from the O’Reilly Factor managed to get himself inside in 2005 to shoot footage and produced a segment during which Bill O’Reilly called Ruth and other University leaders “pinheads.”

Formerly known as Lincoln Field, this is the green between Sayles Hall and Thayer Street. The upper section is perfect for studying, while the lower part is often the site of football and Frisbee games.

(See Queer Alliance and Simmons, Ruth)

The SciLi The Sciences Library. Fourteen stories, color-coded according to the pH system (“The books get more ‘basic’ as you go higher up”). Playboy once named the 13th floor one of the ‘most notorious make-out spots’ in America. (Ask an upperclassman about the SciLi challenge.) Inspiration for the music video “SciLi State of Mind” and home to the Friedman Study Center.

(See FriSC)

Senior Week Seniors’ last week of college — a packed schedule of social events, parties and goodbyes in the days between finals and Commencement.

Sexile A merger of the words “exile” and “sex.” This is what happens if you have a roommate who wants to invite a new friend over to spend the night. You end up sleeping on the floor in the lounge — if you even have one.

Simmons, Ruth

Sc.B. Everyone else calls it a B.S.

Sidney Frank

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(See Simmons, Ruth)

The glass and steel behemoth between main campus and Pembroke campus, formally know as the Sidney E. Frank Hall for the Life Sciences. The logical extension of the Walk runs through it.

Brown’s 18th president and the first black president of an Ivy League school, Simmons ended her 11-year term two years ago.

She had a near cult-like following among students and even had a quad named after her. Simmons enacted need-blind admissions for first-year domestic applicants, and her Plan for Academic Enrichment reshaped the Brown academic experience. Gone, but not forgotten, she handed over the reins to Christina Paxson in 2012.

(See Paxson, Christina)

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Shopping Period – Thayer Street

Shopping Period Two-week-long period at the beginning of each semester during which you can try out any class that catches your eye and freely change your class registration. Try to finish up your shopping within a week, because professors will launch right into their courses. Everyone will tell you to shop as many classes as possible. You won’t believe them, but you should. Also, everyone will tell you to shop classes that interest you and ignore concentration requirements and career considerations. You won’t believe them, but you should.

Smitty B Otherwise known as Smith-Buonanno Hall. One of the main academic buildings on Pembroke.

(See Pembroke)

Spiritus

SunLab Located on the first floor of the CIT, the SunLab is filled with high-powered workstations for computer science students. Good luck trying to get a computer on the night before a big CS project is due. Or on any Friday or Saturday night, for that matter.

Spiritus Fermenti. The closest liquor store to campus, located right next to Pembroke at the intersection of Thayer and Meeting streets. The prices are high, but you can’t beat the location.

Spring Weekend In a good year, Spring Weekend means big-name bands on our very own Main Green, couches on Wriston, lots of drinking and casual sex. In a bad year, expect lots of reverb inside the hockey arena.

(See Main Green, Wriston Quadrangle and Binder, Dave)

Stadium It’s over a mile away. This would be a huge pain if anyone besides alums and the Brown Band went to football games.

(See Brown Band)

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T.A.

T

Teaching Assistant. They teach some intro-level language classes as well as some courses in math and other departments. Some are helpful. Some are useless. Some will end up dating your roommate.

Taveras, Angel Took office in January 2011 as Providence’s first Latino mayor. To help address with the city’s deficit, Taveras and the University eventually agreed to a deal in which the U. would contribute $31.5 million more to the city over the next 11 years. Unfortunately, Taveras went to Harvard.

Thayer Street Serving as the de-militarized zone between Brown and its real-world neighbors, this avenue was formerly home to a plethora of eclectic shops and a roving motorcycle gang.

Now it’s a glorified food court.

The Trolley – WBRU

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The Trolley A bus disguised to look like a trolley, run by RIPTA, which goes from Thayer Street to Kennedy Plaza and Federal Hill. There’s also one that goes to East Side Market, a huge grocery store. The other route goes, um, somewhere else.

V

(See RIPTA)

V-Dub The Verney-Woolley Dining Hall. The junior member of Brown’s dining halls, it’s smaller, more intimate, features a “Now That’s What I Call Music!” soundtrack and tends to draw mostly athletes and first-years.

Van Wickle Gates

The Underground

U

An on-campus club, located in Faunce House.

It used to be easy for under-21s to get drinks here, but the newly refurbished Underground now has no liquor license, after an administrative crackdown and an unpleasant debacle involving local high school students. The only reason to go is to hear student bands perform.

(See Faunce House)

UCS

Groupings of first-years who all share the same RC, MPC and WPC. Most units live within the same residence hall. Units are most important during orientation, when they face off in the relay races, games and cheering contests of Unit Wars. Also, seniors relive their first-year Unit Wars during Senior Week, but this time the inebriation is legal.

(See MPC, RC, WPC, Orientation, Senior Week)

Unitcest

University Hall

Warwick Watson Institute

Unit

(See Unit)

W Second-largest city in the state. The airport is here. Not much else.

The Undergraduate Council of Students, which tries really, really hard to be an effective student governing body.

A merger of the words “unit” and “incest.”

It’s when you hook up with someone in your unit. This is why “It’s Complicated” exists on Facebook.

So important that they’re only open twice a year.

The Watson Institute for International Studies. Home of world-renowned research and the international relations, development studies, Middle East studies, South Asian studies and Latin American studies concentrations. In an attempt to emulate Hogwarts’ Defense Against the Dark Arts department, Watson will be headed this year by its seventh director in nine years.

WBRU 95.5 FM, one of the largest radio stations in southern New England and the oldest college radio station in America. Purported to be “the original alt-rock.” We’re not arguing.

(See BSR)

Come here to meet with deans or visit president Christina Paxson during her office hours. The oldest building on campus, it’s on the National Register of Historic Places.

(See Paxson, Christina)

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The Whiskey Republic – ZipCar

The Whiskey Republic WPC

Where students go to get trashed on Wednesdays.

The bar is in the beloved spot where the now-defunct Fish Co. — shut down in 2010 — once stood. Nostalgic students call this “Whis Co.,” but modifying the name won’t bring back the stripper poles.

Women’s Peer Counselors, the third members of each first-year residence hall’s peer counseling trios (along with MPCs and RCs).

WPCs focus on health, gender, sexuality and relationships, plus they provide condoms and dental dams.

Whispering Arch

(See MPC, RC)

Behind the greenhouse, there’s a stone arch. Station a friend on one side of it, then go to the other side and whisper into it. They’ll be able to hear you as if you were blowing in their ear.

Wickenden Street and Wayland Square Two non-Brown related commercial districts within walking distance. Wickenden is famous for its head shops, gelato and pubs. Wayland is known for its bookstores and fancy restaurants. Pick your poison, or mix and match.

Writing Fellows

Wriston Quadrangle Home to the Ratty and most of Brown’s fraternities and sororities (which are housed in on-campus residence halls, to the surprise of your friends back home). The lawn in the center of the quad turns into a weekly farmer’s market in the warmer months and a slip-and-slide during Spring Weekend.

Center of on-campus partying — you’ll see lines out the doors any Friday or Saturday night.

Writing Fellows suck the pain out of throwing together a paper the night before it’s due by labeling said effort a “draft” and requiring that it be “edited” by a fellow student with “superior” writing talent.

(See Spring Weekend)

Z

Williams, Roger

ZipCar

Founder of this great state, proponent of religious freedom and now a giant statue in Prospect Terrace.

Short-term rental cars available at the Power Street Garage, as long as you’re over 18. Kind of lame-looking but actually pretty useful.

(See Rhode Island)

Writing Center

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A place you can go to get one-on-one help editing or writing papers, staffed by graduate students in a variety of disciplines. Make sure to book appointments two weeks in advance of finals.

YOUR GUIDE TO FIRSTYEAR HOUSING AT BROWN

By Mathias Heller

University News Editor

PROS

+

CONS

–

TAKEAWAY

=

Welcome to your first-year housing arrangements at Brown! Maybe you expect to live in the College Hill Ritz-Carlton or maybe you have already heard horror stories about certain buildings — we guarantee the truth lies somewhere in between.

With this in mind, we’ve prepared a comprehensive guide to the perks and drawbacks of each first-year dorm. Enjoy — just remember, your first-year housing is what you make of it, and you should always wear flip-flops in the shower.

Andrews Hall +

The fondly nicknamed “Hotel Andrews” is perched atop Pembroke’s campus, which boasts a beautiful green perfect for lounging about on a crisp fall day. Each room has a sink — a prized asset that sets Andrews apart from its competitors — and the building’s elevators and newly renovated common rooms add a touch of classy hospitality.

–

Save a couple of exceptions, most academic buildings are far from Andrews, so get ready for brisk morning trots to make those 9 a.m. classes. And the Verney-Woolley Dining Hall, Pembroke’s main eatery, is closed on weekends, forcing students to trek across campus for food.

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With the University working on extensive renovations to Andrews over the summer (including new study and lounge spaces), there has never been a better time to move in, despite the building’s distance from main campus.

Emery-Woolley Hall +

Emery and Woolley Halls, close to Thayer Street’s most popular attractions, have an enviable location and offer semi-private bathrooms. Plus, the in-house gym and dining hall (the VDub) mean you can eat mountains of chicken fingers and burn off the calories in one swoop.

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Having a gym is great, but the small facility can’t rival the Nelson Fitness Center. Noise from Thayer Street can also be an issue for students living on lower floors.

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The combined perks of the V-Dub, a gym and Thayer access outweigh the frustration of being farther from the Main Green than your friends in other dorms.

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FIRST-YEAR HOUSING GUIDE

Keeney Quadrangle

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+

Historically a hotbed of late-night shenanigans, Keeney often acts as ground zero for first-year socializing due to its densely packed halls. The complex — which became three separate buildings with common courtyard entrances this summer — is just minutes from the Main Green and the Sharpe Refectory, Brown’s main dining hall. Each first-year unit now has its own lounge, while the top-floor lounges have been refurbished with new kitchen appliances and lighting.

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The frenetic activity and noise of Keeney may get tiresome on some weekends, and the bathrooms are often less than pristine. Never go barefoot in the shower.

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The University’s recent $56 million commitment to housing renovations has transformed Keeney from one of the most run-down dorms to among the most modernized residential areas. But it remains to be seen whether dividing Keeney into three separate buildings will negatively affect the complex’s status as one of the best places to meet people in your first year.

Metcalf Hall +

Next to Andrews Hall and across from Miller Hall, this Pembroke building has new, state-ofthe-art common rooms with glass doors, bright lighting and comfortable couches. Metcalf residents can walk onto the terrace overlooking Pembroke’s green, and they enjoy the amenities of the nearby V-Dub and Gate.

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Unlike your friends in Emery-Woolley, you actually have to leave the building to access a gym and chow down on food. And as with other Pembroke dorms, the distance from the Main Green can try one’s patience on a cold winter morning’s trek to class.

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Metcalf’s new common rooms resemble five-star hotel lobbies. The building’s renovations are part of the University’s push to forge tight-knit communities based on class year, and administrators are hoping the common rooms will facilitate greater dorm bonding.

Miller Hall +

Bearing a close resemblance to neighboring Metcalf Hall, Miller boasts similar lounges with glass doors that look like entrances to a fancy corporate boardroom. The new kitchens are welcome additions for the culinarily minded, and the elevators come in handy when you’re moving in and out.

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The building’s location on Pembroke campus means that on weekends (when the nearby V-Dub is closed) you’ll have to either hike to the Ratty or survive on Gate pizzas and falafel wraps from nearby East Side Pockets.

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Previously reserved for upperclassmen, Miller now offers first-years new hang-out and cooking spaces, close proximity to Thayer Street and the classic aesthetic of a historic but newly renovated New England brick dorm. While it may not be as buzzing with activity as Keeney, Miller is nestled within the heart of the livable Pembroke campus.

FIRST-YEAR HOUSING GUIDE

Morris-Champlain Hall +

The interconnected Morris and Champlain Halls (or “MoChamp,” as the complex is affectionately called) on Pembroke’s campus are a stone’s throw from the V-Dub, the Gate and Thayer Street. Morris-Champlain features spacious lounges where first-year units can bond, and CVS is just around the corner when you realize you forgot to pack a toothbrush. Plus, semi-private bathrooms.

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MoChamp’s doubles often aren’t as big as those in Andrews or Keeney.

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The University renovated several common spaces in MoChamp this summer, meaning that first-years stationed here will get a slice of the housing upgrade pie. The dorm is far from a lot of main campus, but the proximity to Thayer and intimate atmosphere more than compensates.

Wayland House +

Located on Wriston Quad, home to most of Brown’s fraternity and sorority houses, Wayland House is in the middle of the action. Seconds from the Keeney gym, the Main Green and the Ratty, Wayland residents can be fully emerged in Brown’s social life without venturing far from their rooms. The building is divided into North and South Wayland by an arch where a cappella groups often perform. The Jabberwocks, one of the oldest of such groups on campus, have their own spacious lounge in the basement of North Wayland.

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Most of the doubles are on the smaller side, and the bathroom doors are sometimes difficult to prop open. Know that Wriston’s vibrant nightlife (read: fraternity parties) can get pretty noisy on weekends.

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Between its central location and intimate structure, Wayland often leaves its inhabitants with fond memories of their first year. But after dealing with the high-octane Wriston Quad nightlife, you may find yourself venturing over to visit your friends on the quieter Pembroke campus every once in awhile.

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FIRST-YEAR HOUSING GUIDE

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EMILY GILBERT / HERALD

City & State reporters interview then-President Ruth Simmons at a press conference about the University’s financial arrangement with Providence.

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