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F R I D A Y NOVEMBER 21, 2003

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD Volume CXXXVIII, No. 119

An independent newspaper serving the Brown community since 1891

www.browndailyherald.com

Crime wave continues BY ZACH BARTER

The College Hill crime wave continued Wednesday night with a pair of off-campus assaults. The first incident occurred just after 11 p.m., when a male student walking near Brook and Meeting Streets was assaulted by two men, according to a Department of Public Safety e-mail sent to the campus community midday Thursday. Two Brown students who witnessed the assault from their car sounded their horn, causing the suspects to flee. The suspects were seen leaving the area in a black Oldsmobile with Rhode Island registration MT699. The victim was taken to Rhode Island Hospital for treatment and was later released. Witnesses described both suspects as men between 20 and 25 years old. Both suspects were of medium build and had short brown hair. Both DPS and the Providence Police Department are investigating the incident and are asking for help from the community. The second incident occurred before 1 a.m. Thursday morning, when a male student in the Fish Co. parking lot was approached by two men who demanded his money. When the student refused, they began to assault him. The student, who was also taken to Rhode Island Hospital for treatment, described both suspects as 6’2” men with dark hair and dark complexion. Both DPS and PPD are investigating and are again asking the community for information. The attacks are the latest in a series of incidents that have students and community members concerned. Since September, muggings have occurred near Minden Hall, Andrews Hall, the OMAC and Soldiers Arch, as well as near the corners of Brown and Meeting streets, Brook and Power streets and Brook and Transit streets. Additional assaults have taken place along Charlesfield Street and Benefit Street. DPS is investigating two of the incidents — the Sept. 6 assault on Charlesfield and the Oct. 6 assault near Brown and Meeting streets — as hate crimes.

Marissa Hauptman / Herald

The line between the audience and the performers often blurred as performers danced on stage and in the aisles. A nearly continuous background of catcalls came from the audience throughout the performance.

ARTS & CULTURE REVIEW

CCC recognizes ‘tuition requirements’ confusing BY MERYL ROTHSTEIN

The College Curriculum Committee may recommend changes to the wording of the current tuition regulations, said Executive Associate Dean of the College Robert Shaw. The regulations require that students pay for eight semesters of study at Brown. Students often misunderstand the requirement, and assume they have to pay Brown even if they go abroad or earn advanced standing, which is not

Herald senior staff Zach Barter ’06 can be reached at zbarter@browndailyherald.com.

UCS announces faculty award winners The Undergraduate Council of Students announced the winners of its first annual Award for Excellence in Teaching early Friday morning. Recognized in the lecture category were Jacob M. Appel, adjunct assistant professor of Community Health and assistant professor of Neuroscience John Stein, while the seminar category honored Josef Mittlemann, an adjunct lecturer in Engineering and lecturer in English Catherine Imbriglio. UCS received some 400 nominations for lecture and seminar teachers, see AWARDS, page 4

UCS AWARDS FOR EXCELLENCE IN TEACHING Lecture class JACOB M. APPEL Adjunct Assistant Professor of Community Health Popular course: UC11:“Hard Choices” JOHN STEIN Assistant Professor of Neuroscience Popular course: BN1:“The Brain: An Introduction to Neuroscience”

Seminar class JOSEF MITTLEMANN adjunct lecturer in Engineering Popular course: EN9:“Management of Industrial and Nonprofit Organizations” CATHERINE IMBRIGLIO lecturer in English Popular course: EL18:“creative nonfiction”

the case, Shaw said. The change, discussed at a CCC meeting last week, would likely take the form of new wording, Shaw said. A more dramatic change, like dropping the requirement altogether, is possible but unlikely, he said. The CCC is considering the change because the word “tuition” in the title confuses people, Shaw said. Registrar Michael Pesta said the regulations encourage latitude and flexibility in education according to the New Curriculum, while still allowing the University to predict its income so it can “run itself as an operation,” he said. The University adopted the current tuition credit system along with the New Curriculum, Pesta said. Prior to the adoption of the New Curriculum, students paid on a per-course basis, he said. Students were required to take four courses each semester and a total of 32 courses, he said, thus guaranteeing eight semesters of enrollment. The New Curriculum, however, allows students to take from three to five courses per semester and only requires that students pass 30 courses. It is therefore possible for students to complete their course load in less than eight semesters. Yet Faculty Rules stipulate that stu-

MEZCLA’s latest is “muy caliente” BY LISA MANDLE

President Ruth Simmons, a regular attendee of MEZCLA’s Fall Show, was out of town for this year’s shows. But with 76 performers and a Thursdaynight crowd that filled Salomon 101, her presence was hardly missed. The show opened with dancing choreographed to live Ghanaian drumming. As MEZCLA President Nefertiti Jàquez ’04 said in the preface to the piece, the institution of slavery led to the mixing of Latino and African cultures in the Americas. Through this piece, choreographers Jàquez and Lorinda Laryea ’04 hoped to show the African influences on the rest of the show’s music. The Ballet Folklórico Mexicano earned particularly furious applause from the audience. The piece was a mix of traditional Mexican dances, including what is incorrectly called in the United States the “Mexican Hat Dance.” The women danced in brightly colored dresses, their long skirts cascading in waves. For the final segment, the men brought out machetes, clinking them in time to the music while maintaining impressive fast-paced footwork. Miguel Molina ’04 sang a Mexican folksong in honor of his mother who was present in the audience. The song, “La Llorona,” dates to the Spanish conquest of

see CCC, page 4

I N S I D E F R I D AY, N O V E M B E R 2 1 , 2 0 0 3 Masturbatory choreography at the Fall Dance Concert in Ashamu Studio arts & culture, page 3

Few girls escape adolescence unscarred, author tells Starr crowd campus news, page 5

“Stephen Beale, will you be my lawfully wedded husband?” asks Bassichis ’06 column, page 11

see MEZCLA, page 4

TO D AY ’ S F O R E C A S T Wesley Clark is the only candidate who can beat Bush in ’04 says von Oeyen ’05 column, page 11

Grim volleyball season ends with 3-1 loss to Yale for the Bears sports, page 12

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THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

THIS MORNING FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003 · PAGE 2 Coup de Grace Grace Farris

W E AT H E R FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY

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GRAPHICS BY TED WU

A Story of Monk Scott Yi and Eddie Ahn

MENU THE RATTY LUNCH — Vegetarian Caribbean Black Bean Soup, New England Clam Chowder, Tangy BBQ Pork Spareribs, Chicken Stir Fry, Spinach Pie, Broccoli au Gratin, Chocolate Lemon Squares, Orange Delight Cake, Raspberry Yogurt Pie

V-DUB LUNCH — Vegetarian Mushroom Vegetable Soup, Rhode Island Quahog Chowder, Chicken Fingers, Broccoli Quiche, Corn Cobbets, Chocolate Lemon Squares

DINNER — Vegetarian Caribbean Black Bean Soup, New England Clam Chowder, Pot Roast Jardiniere, Fried Catfish, Steak & Pepper Fajitas, Red Potato Frittata, Spanish Rice, Okra and Tomatoes, Gumbo with Red Beans, French Bread, Chocolate Lemon Squares, Orange Delight Cake, Raspberry Yogurt Pie

DINNER — Vegetarian Mushroom Vegetable Soup, Rhode Island Quahog Chowder, Breaded Pollock Fillet, Vegan Baked Polenta, Roasted Rosemary Potatoes, Sugar Snap Peas, Oriental Stir Fry, French Bread, Raspberry Yogurt Pie

Greg and Todd’s Awesome Comic Greg Shilling and Todd Goldstein

CROSSWORD ACROSS 1 They form cages 5 “Kudlow & Cramer” network 9 Post offering advice 14 Explorer Tasman 15 Lake sight 16 Left-hand page 17 True, in Latin 18 2000 animated film with Mel Gibson 20 It may be part of a complex 22 Santa __ 23 Present often mailed 26 Singer Vannelli 30 Put away 31 Article in Le Monde 32 British secondary school exam 34 Put away 37 Take out, in a way 38 Crucial area 41 Popeye’s rival 42 Small 43 Maker of the Citation jet 45 Genetic stuff 46 Health and Human Services div. 49 Base information? 50 College decision for many 54 Work opening? 56 One might have a little bit 57 Athletic outcome, and hint to this puzzle’s theme 62 Willing partner? 63 Revolve 64 Pass (by), as time 65 Scold scathingly 66 Nitwits 67 Metal refuse 68 Nastassja Kinski title role DOWN 1 Plunder

2 Albeniz piano work 3 Devoid 4 Bias 5 Gp. concerned with bioterrorism 6 Japanese drama form 7 Building unit 8 The seasons, e.g. 9 At any time 10 Varied group 11 Discount label abbr. 12 Shaq’s alma mater 13 Hither’s partner 19 Simpson trial figure Kaelin 21 Touches 24 Years abroad 25 Clinch 27 First Russian czar 28 Cozy spot 29 Shout of support 33 It’s named for a trapeze artist 34 Distinguishes 35 Prior to 36 Raison __ 1

38 Bargaining subject, perhaps 39 Sign of neglect 40 Scotch __ 41 E lead-in 44 They can’t be returned 46 Quirk 47 Trinity River city 48 Narrow accesses 51 Some are payable: Abbr.

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Penguiener by Haan Lee

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Hopeless Edwin Chang

11/21/03

xwordeditor@aol.com

My Best Effort William Newman and Tim Moen

ANSWER TO PREVIOUS PUZZLE: T R A L A A C M E S B R R C H I R P R A E A U D I S O R E C H U M P C H A N G E L E N T C A K E D O R E O R A I D J I T T E R Y T U R E E N A L B I N O G A U D Y T O L E R V H S S H R E D H O O T H I D E S W A M P D O W S E A R G E S T A T E J E T S E T T A G S C A T N A P S A M P L Y A P E D A M M O P A L A C E G U A R D P O L E R A U R I A H A C T E D T I E R S D E E D S D E N

52 Tend to the squeak again 53 Surgical procedure 55 Evils 57 Blooming business? 58 __ Jima 59 It’s nothing 60 Big name in TVs 61 Ticker tape, briefly?

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11/21/03

ganwyn sez: I am sick of pizza.

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ARTS & CULTURE FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003 · PAGE 3

Fall Dance Concert challenges definition of dance BY ZOE WEINGART

Let’s indulge in a postmodern moment and ask ourselves a question: What is dance? Is it the physical manifestation of the soul? Is it the movement of bodies through space? Is it a flock of women dressed in black, gyrating seductively before an audience? Is it two men rolling on the floor and grunting? Is it the stagehand who receives applause and shouts of “encore!” after wiping up their sweat? These are the questions one might want to ask before attending the Fall Dance Concert, an evening of studentproduced, student-choreographed and student-performed pieces, where students present to the audience their thoughts and opinions on this very matter. The dancers present a vast range styles, including tap, hiphop, breakdancing, Indian dance and even Isadora Duncan fluttering. These more unusual styles add flavor to a program of more traditional modern dance and jazz, and make for a delightfully diverse evening. Among the more memorable pieces are “Extricate,” by Kyle Shepard ’04, “Unclassical Rhythms,” by Gowri Vijayakumar ’06, “B-Boy Evolution,” by Ken Miki ’06, and Fusion’s contribution, “One Thing for Sure,” by Audrey McIntyre ’05. “Extricate” begins with a solo by Shepard himself, who is then joined by a stage full of female dancers, who emerge from all parts of the theatre and speak in a stream-of-consciousness monotone while performing the repetitive and restrictive choreography. At one point only one dancer is left speaking, and she wonders aloud why she is the only one speaking, why she is the only one dancing, leaving the audience to wonder exactly the same thing. “Unclassical Rhythms” is an enchanting Indian piece, danced gracefully and with wonderful precision by

Courtesy of Brown University Theater

The Fall Dance Concert, is a collection of 13 new works presented by Body and Sole and Brown University Theatre.The show runs through Nov. 23 in Ashamu Dance Studio. Vijayakumar. The bells on her pants punctuate her movements while she smiles alluringly with each flick of her extended arms. “B-Boy Evolution” is a more casually choreographed break-dancing piece, more a display of excellent athleticism and balance than a statement about society. Miki and three other dancers tumble and spin both individually and synchronously, thrilling the audience all the while. And Fusion’s piece, a more conventional jazz/hip-hop number, is made exciting by the superior quality of danc-

ing and the exactness of their movements. It is truly thrilling to see all 20 dancers move in perfect unison and with the same level of intensity and commitment. Though it can be a little rough to sit through some overly ambitious and at times slightly masturbatory choreography, the Fall Dance Concert offers some true choreographic gems and the chance to come closer to discovering the true definition of dance. And, moreover, it’s certainly worth the $5 ticket price just to see Scott Franco ’04 sing while he breakdances and raves with his tap shoes.

b row n d a i l y h e ra l d L E C T U R E

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M O N D AY, D E C E M B E R 8 , 7 : 3 0 P M , S A L O M O N 1 0 1

PAGE 4 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003

Mezcla continued from page 1 Mexico and tells the legend of a woman mourning for the children she killed. Accompanied by Ana Mascareñas ’05 and Evin Isaacson ’05 on guitar and Miranda Galindo’s ’06 interpretive dancing, this piece was one of the few not punctuated by shouts of approval. Instead Molina commanded the audience’s quiet awe. So many similar shows, in an attempt to allow everyone a moment in the limelight, plod through a series of repetitive performances. Not so with the MEZCLA show. Lasting just over two hours, the huge variety in music, dance and costume held the audience’s attention throughout. An elegant background, consisting of various images projected onto a large screen, also held the audience’s attention. The graphics coordinated well with the many pieces performed on stage. However, their lava-lamp-type movement, while entertaining during pauses, was distracting during several of the performances in the first act. The line between the audi-

ence and the performers often blurred as performers danced on stage and in the aisles. A nearly continuous background of catcalls came from the audience throughout the performance. And many ticket holders who came to watch ended up dancing in their seats or even spilling into the aisles. The show’s finale, “Hip-clectic,” was set to a variety of music including Shakira and J. Lo. The piece showcased African and Arab influences on Latin American dance through Flamenco and hip-hop and reflected MEZCLA’s motto for this year, “Celebrating Our Cultures.” After the show’s finale, Siempre Con Swing, Brown’s live salsa band, took over the stage and invited performers and audience alike to dance to merengue, salsa and other beats. The presence of the swing band was particularly appropriate as MEZCLA decided to dedicate their show and the entire academic year to the memory of Celia Cruz. Cruz, known internationally as the Queen of Salsa, died on July 16, 2003. Herald senior staff writer Lisa Mandle ’06 can be reached at lmandle@browndailyherald.com.

CCC continued from page 1 dents are expected to enroll in 32 courses and eight semesters of full study. In order to ensure that students engage in these eight semesters, which is what Pesta said the University considers a normal undergraduate experience, the regulations “detached (tuition) from a per course basis and attached it to time,” he said. Any change to the regulations would have no effect on the majority of students, Shaw said. Aside from the confusion among some students, he said he sees at most five problems a year that are caused by the regulations, usually because of complications with credit equivalency. Students who take summer courses, earn transfer credits elsewhere or request credit for advanced placement can face complications because the credits need to be calculated in “blocks” that equal a semester of full-time study, Dean of the College Paul Armstrong wrote in an e-mail. The CCC is hoping to clarify and simplify these rules, he wrote. Any change recommended by the CCC would ultimately have to be approved by the faculty and

“Anything as important as Brown’s degree requirements should be modified only after careful and thorough delibera-

Awards continued from page 1

“Professors’ first responsibility is to uphold high standards in teaching.”

tion, involving all of the responsible bodies,” Armstrong wrote. then the Corporation, because the regulations themselves are a Corporation policy, Shaw said. “This is not going to be a fast process,” he said, adding that the change would take effect for the next freshmen class at the very earliest. “Anything as important as Brown’s degree requirements should be modified only after careful and thorough deliberation, involving all of the responsible bodies,” Armstrong wrote. Herald senior staff writer Meryl Rothstein ’06 can be reached at mrothstein@browndailyherald.c om.

according to Academics and Administrative Affairs chair Charles Cummings ’06. When the poll closed at midnight, over 1,000 students had voted online for two of the 10 most nominated teachers in each category. “First and foremost, Brown is an undergraduate learning instutition,” Cummings said, “and professors’ first responsibility is to uphold high standards in teaching. “I hope that’s what (these awards) are looking for,” he said. The awardees, along with their department chairs, will be honored at a celebratory dinner on Dec. 5 with speeches by their nominators. —Ellen Wernecke

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

CAMPUS NEWS FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003 · PAGE 5

Think outside the box by finding your value within, psychologist says BY KRISTA HACHEY

Self-love is the basis of all love, according to Dr. Linda James Meyers. In her Thursday night lecture, Meyers urged communities and individuals to seize the "power to define reality" in ways that promote peaceful and open communities through the development of "optimal psychology." Her remarks, "Intellectual Diversity through the Lens of an Optimal Psychology," addressed the need for self-knowledge and spiritual connectedness in creating a healthy and progressive intellectual environment. Meyers, who holds appointments in the African American Studies and Psychology departments at Ohio State University, cited a "materialist world view" as the major impediment in the way of transcending racism, sexism and other "isms" and building an accepting intellectual and social community. "We are socialized to define our identities and self worth through external characteristics," she said. "Thus we look outside ourselves to find our value and try to find someone that we are better than." This materialist worldview, Meyers said, leads to insecurity, fear and the need to dominate others. "This is not the natural course of human development," Meyers said about the social decline in values such as peace, balance and harmony. "If you look at other worldviews like those embodied in African cultures and Eastern religions, worth is found intrinsically and these values are preserved." There is a lack of institutional support for thinking outside the box, Meyers said, which contributes to the lack of courageous critique of society's current value system. She pointed to public education as an agent that reinforces the values of dominant socialization by encouraging competition rather than recognition of value in all. She also said that in many ways, systems of education in the United States discourage engagement in "fearless studies," risking-taking inquiries of dominant beliefs held by society and also personally by each individual. Meyers put the consequences of this neglect into perspective, referring to the current situation in Iraq and the growing discontent Iraqis have for an American presence. "We were surprised that Iraq didn't entirely embrace us," she said. "But because of different worldviews and a lack of intellectual diversity on our side, this outcome is logical." "Unity consciousness," Meyers said, is one important tool that communities in general can use to reinforce the role different worldviews has in enriching the collective. "We can't afford to be biased against or neglectful of see MEYERS, page 7

Elizabeth MacLennan / Herald

Adolescence is about surviving what is one of the most difficult periods of a girl’s life, said Sara Shandler, author of "Ophelia Speaks."

Ophelia resurrected on Pembroke BY TED BROWN

Sara Shandler, the 23-year-old author of New York Times bestseller “Ophelia Speaks,” admitted she was upset when she was rejected from Brown. But she ultimately got the last laugh as she was invited to campus by the Pembroke Center Associates to speak Thursday night in Smith-Buonanno. Shandler was 16 when she first read Mary Pipher’s book “Reviving Ophelia,” which explored the unique issues that challenge adolescent girls. The book inspired her to write from her own perspective as an adolescent girl herself. “I didn’t necessarily think there was anything missing from Pipher’s book, but I thought she was still an adult and it would be easier for adolescent girls to hear about these problems from their peers,” she said. By her senior year in high school, Shandler was well on her way to accomplishing her goal. She sent out over 7,000 letters to girls of all cultural backgrounds, soliciting writings about their experiences.

Adolescence is about surviving what is one of the most difficult periods of a girl’s life, Shandler said. “If you get through it without an eating disorder or mutilating yourself you’ve done pretty well,” she said. One technique she suggested to help a girl through her teenage years is listening. “Girls want to be heard and they are not,” she said. When asked by an audience member why no one is listening, Shandler responded, “Well, I finally found out that adults have lives of their own, a fact that I was complexly oblivious to when I was a kid.” Shandler added that a lot of what teenage girls say that seems extremely important to them is not seen as important to parents. Shandler said for her, getting through adolescence was a matter of discovering what was expected of her, often through media representations of teenage girls, and trying to do fulfill those expectations. see OPHELIA, page 8

look for it on newsstands s oo n

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD PAGE 7

Meyers continued from page 5 certain groups," she reminded the audience. "In any group, there is a gamut — there are the brilliant, the dumb, the moral, the immoral — and it is our responsibility to find the best in each group, the good that exists within all." The notion of "unity consciousness," Meyers said, comes about through interrogation of one's own beliefs and convictions through what she called an "optimization process." "Peace emerges from a context in which people show love and compassion and it is from peace that justice arises," Meyers said. A nation of stressed, anxious, depressed citizens has emerged from a lack of self-love, and the insecurity that arises has led to collective disunity and even disunity with those whom individuals are closest, Meyers said. Love of one's self and an understanding of one's identity is cultivated through process that involves both enduring hardship and engaging in personal reflection. "We become separated from our identities when we are challenged by negative external factors, but we have to realize that negativity in the human experience provides the opportunity for growth," Meyers said. Building a strong sense of identity despite interfering tensions society presents allows individuals and groups to move toward the growth of a diverse and open environment, she said. Dionne Boyd ’04, a coordinator of the lecture, said she has learned from taking classes with Meyers at Ohio State that "it is through personal interrogation that we develop the mechanisms to build a whole community." Meyers said that on some level everyone contributes to the perpetuation of the status quo, which she sees as promoting a negative individualism, competitiveness and materialism, because of the desire for education and employment. She urged students to "take our power back" and redefine reality and society. "Begin by analyzing the higher

"Peace emerges from a context in which people show love and compassion and it is from peace that justice arises," Meyers said. A nation of stressed, anxious, depressed citizens has emerged from a lack of self-love, and the insecurity that arises has led to collective disunity and even disunity with those whom individuals are closest, Meyers said. education system that you are part of by saying ‘OK, I see how the system is working, I see how I can work the system,’ and position yourself to change the system by your will and ways of thinking," Meyers said. She encouraged audience members to remember their duty to respectfully question others about their beliefs to spark personal reflection in those around them. Students asked Meyers how notions of "unity consciousness," self love and self knowledge can feasibly thrive and change entrenched values and divisions between groups within society. "If you define reality for yourself, others will begin to buy into that by virtue of the fact that you are sticking to your definition," she said. Herald staff writer Krista Hachey ’07 can be reached at khachey@browndailyherald.com.

PAGE 8 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003

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She said her research showed this is similar to what most teenage girls feel, because media-fed images of how a girl should look and act are common. Shandler criticized teen magazines in particular as harmful to girls’ self-esteem. “I have been guilty of buying (such) magazines,” she said, “but I would say for a lot of teenager girls that not reading them is a good thing.” The lecture ended with a line of fans lining up to meet Shandler. “I wish I had this book when I was an adolescent,” said Ariana Green ’04. “It’s nice to know that you’re not the only one going through the things that adolescents are afraid to admit they are going through.” Barbara Dickenson, director of alumni affairs at the Pembroke Center for Teaching and Research on Women, said she brought Shandler to campus because some of the students told her they were interested in the problems of adolescence and felt there weren’t enough reliable resources available.

Rams (-8) over the CARDINALS – What quarterback could you put in the Rams’ situation and have them not succeed? Team meetings should just consist of putting names in a hat and the first name drawn gets to hand off to Marshall Faulk and pass to Tory Holt and Isaac Bruce. On that note, Jason Sehorn will be starting at QB this week and will be backed up by Brenda Warner. Titans (-7) over the FALCONS – At this rate, Michael Vick will qualify for the new prescription drug plan before he starts at quarterback again for Atlanta. In a bold move, Dan Reeves has replaced Kurt Kittner with Doug Johnson. This switch harkens back to Warner Brothers producers replacing Val Kilmer with George Clooney in the Batman movies. Bengals (-3) over the CHARGERS – Cincinnati could

VBall continued from page 12 in the previous games, and there were many impressive individual efforts. However, the Bears lost 30-19. Leigh Martin ‘06 played well throughout the match, entering the record books with a Brown high for assists per game. Also entering the Brown record books was Kim Highlund ’04, who owns the record for the highest number of digs in a game. Highlund went out strong leading the defense with 19 digs in her last career game. On Friday night the Bears secured a win over the Columbia Lions in three consecutive sets with a score of 30-26, 30-18 and 30-23. This game was the Bears’ first sweep of the season. The win did not come easily for Bruno, however. During the first set serving errors prevented the Bears from taking an early lead. “Typically we don’t miss five serves like that,” Short said. “Overall, we gave them 17 points that first game.” Despite the serving errors, the Bears attacked with force by placing kill after kill on the Lions’ side

of the court, battling for the lead until the end of the game. On offense, powerhouse Liz Cvitan ’07, one of the Bears’ blockers, hit double digits with 14 kills. Teammates Gibbs and Baldwin also displayed their abilities by garnering 13 and 12 kills, respectively. Not far behind, Jessica Kondrick ’07 acquired seven kills of her own, hitting a .455 average. Martin also contributed to the team’s success by earning 45 assists and four kills during the game. On the defensive side of the ball, the Bears were ready to rumble with the Lions. Kung, executing 17 digs, along with teammates Highlund, Victoria Kasten ’07 and Rinderknecht shouldered the Brown defense with a total of 64 digs, preventing the Lions from taking the lead. “I think we had a rough start but we ended up pulling it together and working as a team really well. It’s the end of the season, so we’re finally getting used to each other,” Kung said. Unfortunately, the Bears’ momentum disappeared when they faced Cornell the next day. They fell to the Big Red 23-30, 2430, and 26-30. In the first game, the score remained close early on, with

be “Bengal-esque” and lose a game to a two-win team after a huge upset, but Marvin Lewis is better than that. How could you not trust a team with three Johnsons? Redskins (+6) over the DOLPHINS – Washington was robbed last week, and nothing is sweeter than revenge. Whether he runs the Fun ‘N Gun, the Scratch ‘N Sniff or the Tug ‘N Rub offense, Steve Spurrier needs a win this week. Throwing the ball to Laveranues would guarantee one. BUCCANEERS (-5) over the Giants – On the scale of degradation, is being deactivated higher or lower than being put on timeout in the corner? Deciding which one of these teams is the bigger disappointment is like trying to decide whether Tyra or Heidi is hotter. There is no wrong answer. Barber vs. Barber – it’s Monday Night Football. Joshua Troy ’04 auditioned for “The O.C.,” but lost to Peter Gallagher.

Brown battling for the lead until Cornell successfully broke away at 22-20. Although the Bears tried to come back by obtaining three more points, the Big Red finished the set with a seven-point advantage. At the start of the second game, Brown had the lead but tough serves by Cornell created a problem for the Bears. Brown was unable to weather the Cornell offensive storm and dropped the second and third sets. Martin contributed 40 assists that allowed the hitters to reach double-digits. In total, the team acquired 49 kills for the night. “It’s a team sport. So we definitely depend on each other to play well. You can’t do it alone,” Kung said. Other highlights were the Bears’ power hitters and defense specialists. Baldwin led the team with 16 kills, acquiring a total hitting average of .368, while Cvitan incorporated seven kills of her own, hitting .400 for the night. Gibbs also added 12 kills and seven digs while Highlund, the Bears’ defense specialist, headed the team’s defense with 17 digs. Kung was not far behind with 14 digs. Brown team graduates two seniors and will return six starters next year.

FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003 THE BROWN DAILY HERALD PAGE 9

Cropp continued from page 12 last two seconds. According to Pyongyang’s official Chongnyonjunwie newspaper, dunks are three points, instead of the usual two, and one point is deducted for every free-throw miss. Four points are given to shots made from more than 21 feet and to three-pointers that hit the net without touching the rim. This close derivative of the MTV Rock and Jock game could have only been the brainchild of Kim himself or the work of a creative seven-year-old who had too much chocolate. (Under these conditions, Shaq may not be an asset as he could defy any John Madden wisdom stating that a player cannot score negative points.) Unlike in America, where equality is a major belief, North Korea plays under a different set of values: one conducive to basketball. “Under State promotion, schools allotted more gym class time to basketball,” said a former North Korean high school teacher who defected to South Korea in 1999. I guess Kim has no tolerance for sports like badminton and ballroom dancing, which are staples of American gym class. Even though Korea is in economic despair and lacks the food to feed its inhabitants, superstars like Shaq, Kobe and Rick Fox need not worry. Athletes are treated much like they are here — with due respect, fringe benefits and comparatively high salaries. North Korea has lauded star athletes with luxury cars, apartments

For some reason, I think if MTV Cribs did a spot on his home in Korea and then showed him what could potentially be his home, he would defect in a heartbeat (or if he played baseball, the Yankees would have signed him and sent out a commando mission to extricate him from his homeland). and hero titles. The Korean fans, those for whom the game is or at least should be played, will be in for a treat. Due to the “filtering and screening” of the communist media, American influences are kept out, and events such as soccer take the place of the much sought after NBA games. Until the arrival of the Lakers, North Koreans will continue to enjoy their version of Yao Ming, sevenfoot nine-inch Ri Myong Hoon. Ri’s stature makes him a force under the basket as he towers over all opponents, though his frail frame brings thoughts of Manute Bol to mind. His NBA aspirations have remained bleak due to the political tension between the United States and North Korea. According to a CNN article by Mike Chinoy, a bid to sign Ri would have violated the “trading with the enemy” law that bans U.S. companies from doing business with North Korea and its citizens. Ri’s celebrity status has reached levels of national recognition, and he has developed a relationship with Kim. “General Kim Jong Il wants to see me play in the U.S., but

thanks to him, I also have a good life here, even without an NBA contract,” said Ri in an interview with Chinoy. “Still, I am a topclass athlete. I want to play in the NBA.” For some reason, I think if MTV Cribs did a spot on his home in Korea and then showed him what could potentially be his home, he would defect in a heartbeat (or if he played baseball, the Yankees would have signed him and sent out a commando mission to extricate him from his homeland). So maybe we can do a trade: Ri for the Lakers. I know the Lakers would miss some of their celebrity fans, but I think if you do a little with Kim’s hair, he could look a lot like die-hard fan Jack Nickolson. Besides, I hear the upcoming Batman movie needs a new joker, and Kim seems crazy enough. Pyongyang’s winters may be a little harsher than L.A.’s — and possibly nuclear, but I bet the press is not as harsh, especially with Kim at the helm. Does North Korean Air sell one way tickets? Ian Cropp ’05 hails from Amherst, N.Y. and is a communist sympathizer.

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EDITORIAL/LETTERS FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003 · PAGE 10 S T A F F

E D I T O R I A L

Diamonds and coal A diamond to Health Education’s “Heavy Petting” on the Main Green. We would be happy, if only we had a puppy. Coal to Romano getting crushed by a helicopter. Conclusive proof that “ER” has jumped the shark. A diamond to Metropolis’s new incarnation as Ultra. Before: cheesy dance club. After: cheesy dance club/prime music venue, with acts like Rufus Wainwright, Le Tigre, and the Trachtenberg Family Slideshow Players. Like the Met Café, only more pretentious, with cleaner bathrooms, better sightlines, fancy mirrors and cocktail waitresses in those flouncy skirts that were out of style a good four months ago. Coal to the gender gap in the sciences, and particularly, the lack of female science professors. Brenda Allen, take note. A cubic zirconium to this year’s Sex Power God posters. Lots of bitching, and they’re not even as sexy as years’ past. A diamond to worried parents who forward every crime story to their kids with a reminder to, “be careful!!!!!” Your concern and paranoia warm our hearts. Coal to “dessert calzones.” Who thought strawberry cream cheese in a pizza crust would be a good idea? ANDREW SHEETS

The finest of cubic zirconia to the future doctors and Rhodes scholars among us. You amaze us, but we miss you.

LETTERS

A diamond to Missy Elliott’s “Pass that Dutch” jig. Finally, those Irish dancing lessons will pay off. A diamond to the first wave of the Class of ’08. But leave your potato guns at home, kids. Coal to making a movie out of “Cat in the Hat.” We love Mike Myers, but that cat is creepy. Like, Michael Jackson creepy. A diamond to masturbation. Self-love is the basis of all love, according to Dr. Linda James Meyers. So get to it. A diamond to the death of irony, and the College Hill Independent, for facilitating it. Beat that dead horse, kids, beat it, like so many penises. (See above.)

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD EDITORIAL Elena Lesley, Editor-in-Chief Brian Baskin, Executive Editor Zachary Frechette, Executive Editor Kerry Miller, Executive Editor Kavita Mishra, Senior Editor Rachel Aviv, Arts & Culture Editor Jen Sopchockchai, Asst. Arts & Culture Editor Carla Blumenkranz, Campus Watch Editor Juliette Wallack, Metro Editor Jonathan Skolnick, Opinions Editor Philissa Cramer, RISD News Editor Maggie Haskins, Sports Editor Jonathan Meachin, Sports Editor

BUSINESS Jamie Wolosky, General Manager Joe Laganas, Executive Manager Joshua Miller, Executive Manager Anastasia Ali, Project Manager Jack Carrere, Project Manager Lawrence L. Hester IV, Project Manager Bill Louis, Project Manager Zoe Ripple, Project Manager Peter Schermerhorn, Project Manager Elias Roman, Human Resources Manager Laurie-Ann Paliotti, Sr. Advertising Rep. Elyse Major, Advertising Rep. Kate Sparaco, Office Manager

PRODUCTION Zachary Frechette, Chief Technology Officer Marc Debush, Copy Desk Chief Yafang Deng, Copy Desk Chief Grace Farris, Graphics Editor Andrew Sheets, Graphics Editor Sara Perkins, Photo Editor

POST- MAGAZINE Alex Carnevale, Editor-in-Chief Dan Poulson, Executive Editor Morgan Clendaniel, Senior Editor Theo Schell-Lambert, Senior Editor Micah Salkind, Features Editor Ellen Wernecke, Features Editor Abigail Newman, Theater Editor Doug Fretty, Film Editor Jason Ng, Music Editor

and a philosophy of “live and let live” — and, by Beale’s opposition to extension, freedom of speech and expression. Beale forgets that images and posters are a Queer Alliance posters conveniently form of expression and are thus covered by the First “Speech,” as such, isn’t supposed to represents a distorted Amendment. be taken literally. By attacking “obscenity” and proany kind of limit on freedom of speech (in version of conservatism posing this case in the form of censorship), Beale shows To the Editor:

Re: “Queer Alliance posters should be censored,” Nov 20. It’s unfortunate that Stephen Beale hides behind a veil of conservativism while hurling insults at the Queer Alliance and advocating that “the University merely censor obscenity.” Real conservatism advocates small government

that his ideology is the bastardized-at-best version of conservatism embraced by most “Religious Right” Republicans today. Beale’s suggestions for censorship, compounded by the offensive and confrontational tone he takes, do little to advance his cause. James Tierney ’06 Nov. 20

write letters. letters@browndailyherald.com

Elizabeth Spiers, Night Editor Marc Debush, George Haws, Copy Editors Senior Staff Writers Zach Barter, Danielle Cerny, Dana Goldstein, Lisa Mandle, Monique Meneses, Joanne Park, Meryl Rothstein, Ellen Wernecke Staff Writers Kathy Babcock, Elise Baran, Alexandra Barsk, Hannah Bascom, Carla Blumenkranz, Robbie Corey-Boulet, Philissa Cramer, Ian Cropp, Sam Culver, Jonathan Ellis, Justin Elliott, Amy Hall Goins, Bernard Gordon, Krista Hachey, Jonathan Herman, Robby Klaber, Sarah LaBrie, Hanyen Lee, Julian Leichty, Kira Lesley, Allison Lombardo, Chris Mahr, Jonathan Meachin, Sara Perkins, Melissa Perlman, Eric Perlmutter, Sheela Raman, Cassie Ramirez, Zoe Ripple, Michael Ruderman, Emir Senturk, Jen Sopchockchai, Lela Spielberg, Adam Stern, Stefan Talman, Joshua Troy, Schuyler von Oeyen, Juliette Wallack, Jessica Weisberg, Brett Zarda, Julia Zuckerman Accounts Managers Laird Bennion, Eugene Clifton Cha, In Young Park, Jane C. Urban, Sophie Waskow, Justin Wong, Christopher Yu Pagination Staff Peter Henderson, Lisa Mandle, Alex Palmer Photo Staff Gabriella Doob, Benjamin Goddard, Marissa Hauptman, Judy He, Miyako Igari, Allison Lombardo, Elizabeth MacLennan, Nicholas Neely, Michael Neff, Alex Palmer, Yun Shou Tee, Sorleen Trevino Copy Editors Emily Brill, George Haws, Leslie Kaufmann, Katie Lamm, Anne Rabbino, Melanie Wolfgang

COMMENTARY POLICY The staff editorial is the majority opinion of the editorial board of The Brown Daily Herald. The editorial viewpoint does not necessarily reflect the views of The Brown Daily Herald, Inc. Columns and letters reflect the opinions of their authors only. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR POLICY Send letters to letters@browndailyherald.com. Include a telephone number with all letters. The Herald reserves the right to edit all letters for length and cannot assure the publication of any letter. Please limit letters to 250 words. Under special circumstances writers may request anonymity, but no letter will be printed if the author’s identity is unknown to the editors. Announcements of events will not be printed. ADVERTISING POLICY The Brown Daily Herald, Inc. reserves the right to accept or decline any advertisement in its discretion.

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OPINIONS FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 21, 2003 · PAGE 11

An immodest proposal STEPHEN, THERE ARE SOME THINGS al nature of the ads, and take them as a WE need to talk about. Though I’ve been personal attack, asserting they “violate the avoiding this for some time now, in light spirit if not the letter of the Standards of of your recent column in The Herald Student Conduct.” To be sure, you say the (“Queer Alliance Posters Should be University — if it wants to be consistent — Censored,” Nov. 20), I think now is as good should treat this “violation” of student a time as any. Stephen, let me cut to the conduct much like any other violation, much like in 1991, “when one chase: I want to marry you. student was actually expelled You heard right, I want to DANIEL BASSICHIS GUEST COLUMNIST after shouting racial epithets marry you. I want to be marat another student.” Now, ried to you. I want you to Stephen, you know I want to marry me. I want to get married! To you! And thanks to the spend the rest of my life with you — just Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court, I you — but you can’t expect me to buy this think we just might be able to. Just picture hook, line and sinker, can you? Do you it: You and me boarding the commuter rail really think that sexual images around for Boston, getting weird stares from the campus that differ from someone’s idea of passengers because we’re two guys in healthy or positive sexuality is truly tartuxes (unless you want to wear something geting that person? Are they in any anger? else, which I’m totally cool with), holding Is that person’s identity, desires, history or hands — but we don’t care! Let them community being threatened? If so, defilaugh: We’re just trying to live our homo- nitely let me know because this is the kind sexual lifestyle(s). We’re going to march of conversation and intimacy that a marright into the Boston courthouse and ried couple ought to have, if you ask me. Another tidbit I simply must bring up hand the clerk our completed marriage application, saying bluntly, “We’re getting with you is this whole notion of censormarried.” We’ll throw each other knowing ship. I realize, respect and admire your glances that say, “Because we’re in love — deep commitment to the tenets of free speech — it is one of the reasons I feel for that’s why.” And this brings me back to Brown, and you in the first place — but I have to once the complaints you lodge against the again question what I see as a bit of a conQueer Alliance’s posters publicizing Sex tradiction. You say “this censorship would Power God. Evidently, you are very con- not infringe on the Queer Alliance’s freecerned with the graphic and overtly sexu- dom of speech,” that you encourage their expression or discussion of the virtues of “sadomasochism, bondage and homosexDan Bassichis '06 likes cigarettes, chocouality” perfectly valid in private, in The late milk and History of Mathematics.

We’re going to march right into the Boston courthouse and hand the clerk our completed marriage application, saying bluntly, “We’re getting married.” We’ll throw each other knowing glances that say, “Because we’re in love — that’s why.” Herald, in a meeting, at the dance and in List (which we should try!). Isn’t this a bit problematic? If you are as much of a stickler for freedom of speech as you say you are, then how are you going to even propose any sort of censorship? I mean, first of all, take a look around the rest of the campus: Almost every party advertised has some scantily-clad woman in many a compromising position, but it seems like it’s only the Queer Alliance’s posters that you have a specific problem with. I’m not trying to catch you at your own game, because I’m not saying I’m for no censorship — I think free speech is different from hate speech. Your argument against the exposure (ha!) of the Sex Power God posters is that they “antagonize students on the basis of their religion.” But do they, though? I mean, do they antagonize students, or just show them something they don’t see themselves reflected in, and would rather not think about? Is it the same as hate speech? Stephen, let’s be honest: I think you and I both know it’s

not. There is something fundamentally different from being antagonized (epithets, assaults, harassment, hateful or mean-spirited literature, etc.) and being confronted with something different (different expressions of love, sexuality, faith, identity, etc.). But that’s just my opinion. All right — enough of this! We shouldn’t be wasting our precious time together bickering about petty things such as selfexpression and freedom. Back to us, Stephen, because after we get married, it’s just going to be you and me. For a long, long time. Nights spent playing scrabble, protesting bilingual education, making crêpes and other French delicacies, writing indignant columns in local newspapers, dancing in our living room to old Whitney Houston, calling talk shows to castigate teen mothers for their irresponsibility and gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes, thanking God for bringing us together — forever, until death do we part. I do, Stephen, I do. So what time should I pick you up for Sex Power God?

The case for Wesley Clark The general offers Democrats the best shot at winning the White House in 2004 theme of New American Patriotism I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THE the Democratic Party. Few would say that well as by the military. Clark bills himself as a New Democrat. appeals to moderate Americans and politMEDIA hasn’t been more receptive to Reagan, formerly president of the Screen retired Army General Wesley Clark. This Actors Guild in California, displayed pro- He is pro-environment and against ical independents in a way that Dean’s four-star commander and West Point union sentiment while in office. Likewise, drilling in the Alaskan National Wildlife strictly anti-Bush rhetoric does not. Finally, Clark offers the Democrats the standout continues to struggle while there is little reason to suspect that Clark, Refuge; is pro-gay rights and supports straight-shooting former Governor who bemoans the increasingly right-wing reexamining the military’s “Don’t Ask, best opportunity to pick up the White drift of American politics and the Don’t Tell” policy; is pro-free trade (unlike House in 2004. As Washington Post Howard Dean gets all the attention. Some Democrats, such as Sen. Joe Republican Party, would betray tomorrow Rep. Richard Gephardt, D-Mo., and columnist Harold Meyerson recently Lieberman, D-Conn., have questioned what he champions today. Given these Dean); is in favor of renewing the assault observed, “Perhaps the key question for Clark’s convictions given his recent facts, concerns that he is running for the weapons ban and stricter enforcement of Democrats who vote strategically is “announcement” of membership in the president merely out of convenience and existing gun laws (Dean does not call for whether Dean can do well in the Midwest Democratic Party. Others feel uneasy not conviction could apply equally to any increased national enforcement because against Bush next November.” Dean’s about his appearance at Bush administra- politician, and Clark’s rivals have merely he is pro-NRA); is pro-affirmative action themes are unlikely to resonate with tion functions or question his positions used his recent emergence on the political (with a record of success in the military on Midwest voters, who are demographically on Iraq. Is Clark running for president out scene as an excuse to place emphasis on a this issue); and is in favor of keeping only largely white and protestant and voting of conviction or convenience? Close concern that could be applied to anyone. those parts of Bush’s tax cuts that cut rates increasingly Republican. I agree with Now that we have established the shal- for the middle class (unlike Dean and Meyerson that the South is largely out of inspection reveals that not only does Clark give the Democrats their best shot at lowness of the attacks against Clark’s Gephardt). Not all of his positions are play for the Democrats, but with Clark as winning the White House in 2004, but that commitment to his party and his country, politically motivated. His call for revising the nominee, the Democrats could do he is a principled and dedicated public let us consider the strength of his candi- the military’s gay policies could alienate better in the South and pick up more dacy. Clark brings a kind of firepower back social conservatives weary of incremental states in the Midwest, which they desperservant. Let me begin by allaying some of the into the Democratic Party that the other changes to gay rights. His recommenda- ately need. The Democratic nominee will concerns about Clark’s Democratic con- candidates don’t have: his military back- tion to lift the embargo on Cuba is bold need to win all the swing states in the victions. As a military man for over 35 ground, his foreign policy experience and and could cost him politically with Midwest that Gore won in 2000; New the credibility that these bring. This Florida’s Cuban population. Still, Clark Englanders Dean and Massachusetts Sen. years, Clark could not afford to take credibility gap on national security polls the highest among Hispanic John Kerry, D-Mass. don’t give the political positions publicly. His job cost the Democrats dearly in the Americans according to the latest Gallup Democrats a good shot at doing this, was to work with the administrawhile Gephardt and Clark do. For this rea2002 midterm elections. Despite a poll. tion in office, regardless of ideoloClark offers leadership to the son, Clark has the potential to attract two few mistakes of a political rookie sevgy. Yet Clark claims that he has long eral weeks back, he has been Democratic Party. While some have criti- types of primary voters. Type I represents supported a New Democrat adamant about his position: He cized him for being arrogant and insubor- a coalition of moderate Democrats, modagenda, and his platform was against the decision to go dinate during his service as NATO erate Republicans who feel disenfranbears this out. Going back to war in Iraq, but now that we Supreme Allied Commander in Europe chised by Bush, and independents who further in time, to verify are there, he advocates a and Commander in Chief of the United like his balanced policy approach. Type II that Clark has always sound exit strategy that States European Command, many insid- represents Democrats of a variety of politbeen faithful to the schuyler emphasizes increased ers have said that jealousy of his states- ical stripes, but who all share the common Democratic Party, is both von oeyen multinational coalitions manlike demeanor and scholarly intellect goal of ousting Bush in 2004 and see Clark impossible and irrelethe sky’s and UN support. This posi- was the true source of friction. To be pres- as the best candidate to accomplish this. vant. Politicians often the limit tion is supported by most ident of the United States, these are cru- Clark has the potential to unite these two experience ideological moderate Democrats and cial and admirable qualities. His public groups at the polls and form a winning shifts during their public moderate Republicans, as speaking skills are exemplary, and his coalition. careers: Rudy Giuliani and Ronald Reagan were both liberals before bolting Schuyler von Oeyen ’05 believes a number of the announced candidates would do a good job as president.

THE BROWN DAILY HERALD

SPORTS FRIDAY NOVEMBER 21, 2003 · PAGE 12

Week 12: Time to go big or go home THESE PICKS HAVE BEEN MADE AGAINST THE Skybook odds and as always are for recreational purposes only. This week’s picks were also rejected by “The Bachelor.” (Home team in CAPS) Last Week – 4-11-1 Season – 78-73-9 Lock of the Week – 8-3 COWBOYS (-3) over the Panthers – Bill Parcells is coaching a winning team, a Bush is in the White House and Michael Jackson is being arrested for child molestation charges. Does anyone else think it is 1990? I am convinced that at the end of Panthers’ games, John Fox just tells the referees that his team won, and they do not bother JOSHUA TROY checking the scoreboard. SPREADING THE LOVE Colts (-3) over the BILLS – Buffalo has not scored a touchdown in the last three games and O.J. has now organized a search for the real Buffalo offense. Still, Indy should score plenty. In honor of that, the game will be filmed in night vision and Peyton Manning will answer his cell phone in between plays. JETS (-4) over the Jaguars – To avoid overlap, the search for the Jets’ defense is being organized by the family of JonBenet Ramsey. Two suggestions though: “Tito” Santana Moss would be a fantastic nickname for the Jets’ wide receiver, and anyone with a Keyshawn Johnson Jets jersey may want to take it out of storage. CHIEFS (-11.5) over the Raiders – Dick Vermeil cries after a win, after a loss, after dinner and after watching “Bambi.” Cincinnati pulled an overbearing father tactic on him and gave him something to cry about. As a great coach, he will learn and use the same technique on Oakland. Barring mass steroid rage, go with Kansas City. Seahawks (+3) over the RAVENS – When trying to compare current and former Raven quarterbacks, I can’t decide if Anthony Wright is more like Stoney Case or Tony Banks. If he throws three touchdowns, although highly unlikely, he would move up to third on their all-time list. If Seattle can distract Ray Lewis with a fur coat, they should win this one. EAGLES (-5.5) over the Saints – Coming up with shortened nicknames for stadiums, like “The Linc” or the “The BOB,” is almost as annoying as shortened names for celebrities. Sure, saying DMac handed off to CBuc may make you sound in the know, but eventually, the style will go the way of Vanilla Ice and parachute pants. New Orleans needed OT to beat Atlanta and that is all you need to know. BROWNS (-3) over the STEELERS – William Green has pulled off the rare trifecta of being arrested for marijuana possession and drunk driving, being suspended and being stabbed by one’s fiancé in a one month span. Congratulations William, you have done Boston College proud and your team will dedicate this week’s win to you. PACKERS (NL) over the 49ers – Any guesses for when we can look at Najeh Davenport and not think about him breaking into a Miami dorm room and relieving himself in a female student’s laundry basket? Brett Favre may hand the ball to him, but I bet he washes his hands after doing so. VIKINGS (-10.5) over the Lions – Minnesota has lost four straight; this is their last chance to do right by me. The game is on their turf and Randy Moss has not hit a cop in almost a year, so the Vikings are due for a big win. A key will be if Daunte Culpepper can be responsible for only two turnovers as opposed to five. Patriots (-5.5) over the TEXANS (LOCK OF THE WEEK) – Boston fans are just now waking up from a drug and alcohol-induced coma following the Red Sox loss to the Yankees and to their surprise, New England is in first place. The only thing putting a damper on the good news is the fact that Grady Little is applying for the job of the Patriots’ special teams coach. Bears (+10.5) over the BRONCOS – First, Chicago will lose the game, just not by 11 points. Second, the “A-Train” is finally back to early 2001 form, meaning he will start to suck again three weeks from now. Third, John Elway’s Super Bowl helicopter spin was not as cool as Rick Mirer’s. see TROY, page 8

Michael Neff / Herald

Following breakout seasons, Martin’06 and Gibbs ’06 will be vital next year if Brown hopes to compete for the Ivy title.

Volleyball ends “rookie” year with two losses BY KATHY BABCOCK AND ZANETA BALANTAC

A disappointing season came to an appropriate end Wednesday for women’s volleyball (4-17, 3-10 Ivy) with a 3-1 loss to Yale. The match followed a weekend split, with Brown beating Columbia and falling to Cornell. Against Yale, the Bears fell behind early in the first match and never caught up. “Our weakness has been our hitting errors,” said Head Coach Diane Short. The game was fairly even until the 10-point mark when Yale started pulling away. The Bulldogs won 30-20 with the final point coming on a Brown block that landed out of bounds. One of the problems in the game was having new players on the court and people in new positions. The Bears often had multiple players going for the ball, which threw people out of position for the next return. Elvina Kung ’05 played back on defense and earned 17

digs in the match. In the second game, Brown picked up the intensity, and remained within striking distance of Yale, although they still trailed for most of the contest. Rikki Baldwin ’07 was the offensive leader for the night, using her spike to earn 20 kills, and also tallying eight digs and a block. Baldwin’s performance, however, could not pull out a win for the Bears, who fell 30-28. In the third game, the Bears fell behind early, but kept the score close. Bruno tied it at 15 only to fall behind again, but then finally took the lead 20-19, which increased to 21-19 thanks to a Baldwin kill. When Yale took a timeout trailing 25-20, Tanya Rinderknecht ’05 stepped up to the line for Brown and aced Yale. The Bears won the match 30-23 when a spike went off a Yale player. Brown lost its steam in the fourth and final match of the game. Lauren Gibbs ’06 played at a higher level than see VOLLEYBALL, page 8

Franchise Relocation? Lakers to Pyongyang IS ANYBODY ELSE SICK OF THE LAKERS? I THINK THE only more publicized team would have to be O.J. Simpson’s dream team of lawyers, but it was actually enjoyable to listen to a bunch of lawyers lie, as it is such a rare occasion. I feel like the Lakers need to just disappear for a while until they stop acting like a bunch of unfaithful and uncivil human beings. Where should they go? I would say I could not care any less, but I feel like I need to keep Shaquille O’Neill on the basketball court and away from the silver screen and recording studio. I will refrain from saying much about Kobe other IAN CROPP than that a little lesson in disciCROPPAGANDA pline and respect would not hurt. So where should the Lakers be sent? Guantanamo Bay sounds like a good idea, but I think economic sanctions are enough to unload on Cuba. Maybe another country that our government is in cahoots with, say, one that may be part of the “axis of evil” — not a country that begins with “I,” but none other than North Korea. I think this could work, but this would have to be a two-sided agreement, and I do not want a nuclear bomb in return. Communist leader and fashionista extraordinaire Kim Jong Il is a huge basketball fan and loves the NBA but due

to some small political differences, cannot enjoy the NBA on a first-hand basis. Apparently, he imports videos of the Lakers girls, which I guess makes up for his refusal to import food. Kim’s ardent love for the game is not a recent love affair but a long-brewing passion. When Madeleine Albright visited North Korea in 2000, she gave Kim a ball signed by Michael Jordan as a peace offering of sorts. A delighted Kim responded by saying “we should make our youths and workers play a lot of basketball.” Well, his wishes that have been in the pipelines for a while are close to coming to fruition, as a new 12,300 seat, $57 million basketball court is near completion. The new stadium will mark a step forward in the North Korean basketball program, which began in the mid 1990’s as part of the “Grown Tall Movement” in response to the deadly famine. According to North Korean authorities, who have not been the most reliable sources in the past, students playing basketball are three to five centimeters taller than students who played other sports. Along with that groundbreaking revelation, the media noted that the game “activates hundreds of millions of brains cells per second as players must continuously make quick decisions.” So maybe basketball in North Korea is not as advanced as basketball in America, but it sure is innovative. In 1997, the North Koreans introduced their own scoring system in which eight points are awarded to baskets scored in the see CROPP, page 9