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SPECIAL EDITION

Th for e J So ame cia s l J Aro us ns tic on eJ A ou wa rn rd ali W sm in ne r

ROU NDU P

The Wrangler’s

of the 2010 Summit on Human Dignity

March 2010

What Is Globalization? We asked students this vital question, testing their knowledge of the Summit‟s focus.

Miguel Hernandez ‟10

Derrick O‟ Neill ‟11

This sounds really familiar. I think the Summit mentioned it, or something.

Ezekiel Nielsen „13

Preferably something that doesn‟t affect my home planet, Pandora. Please go away.

It‟s um... We just talked about this…. Isn‟t it when we share everything and act like one huge community? Wait, that‟s communism. Never mind.

Mr. Johnson’s Neck Hurt From Agreement By Henry Wilky ‟11 Shortly after this year's Summit on Human Dignity concluded, Mr. Johnson complained of "pains and aches" in his neck. Johnson went into a government-run clinic to both diagnose his symptoms and prove to all that government-run medical care is superior to the current system. The doctor found (via Wikipedia) that Johnson was suffering from a strained C1, or "atlas," verte-

bra as well as pulled C2, or "axis," vertebra. The pain has been attributed to Johnson’s continuous nodding in agreement with the speakers throughout the entire Summit, minus the six times he sneezed and the four times he drank from his water. It was determined that Johnson had been subconsciously performing the action, and he has begun physical therapy.

News in Briefs (sweatshop-free, of course) $

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Documentary “Behind „Behind the Swoosh‟” to expose unjust wages for cameramen of short documentaries Student claps nearly thirty seconds after applause dies; humor lost Nike CEO Mark Parker‟s writes long, heartfelt response to student‟s concerns over Nike‟s factory conditions “Words with Friends” usage increases 2745% during Summit; “Hang man,” “Sudoku,” and “Rock, Paper, Scissors” as well Students wearing sweatshop-made shoes harassed mercilessly

Donovan Freeman „10

Mark Perry ‟12

It‟s an ongoing process by which regional economies, societies, and cultures have become integrated through a globe-spanning network of communication and trade. No… that can‟t be it. I don‟t know.

I don‟t get why everyone is talking about this! You‟re like the fourth guy to mention it today. Judas. Go look it up online if you really want to know.

Perkins Glad Flight Was Delayed in Phoenix So He Could Speak to Brophy Students By Keith Bender ‟11 Former economic hit man, amateur hairstylist, shaman expert, and proud grandfather John Perkins expressed thankfulness for the opportunity afforded to him by his flight to Kyrgyzstan being delayed overnight in Phoenix. Perkins, who was reportedly bound for the Kyrgyz Republic to confer with indigenous shape-shifters, took the opportunity to visit local high school Brophy College Preparatory and share nice things about his grandson, Grant, with the student body, who had nothing else to do that day. “I was holding my grandson, Grant, and thinking about how terrible things have become in this world of ours,” said Perkins, while students wished he would talk about his

experience as an economic hit man or something. “I really wish this world could be a better place, especially for my grandson, Grant,” continued Perkins, who later added that he lacked the time to record his thoughts in a New York Times bestselling memoir, because he was departing for Madagascar later that day. Perkins, who was “in Peru last weekend,” “in Sierra Leone this past Thursday,” and “near the Colombian border of Venezuela the other day” told reporters he was pleased that he was able to share his experiences with such a beautiful audience and that he hoped that he made sense.

Style Extra: Sweatshops Out “Fair-trade-produced jackets are way hip,” blogged Jim Keady, founder of TeamSweat, a fashion group dedicated to staying abreast of trends. Keady cited upstart athletic-wear company Educating for Justice as an example of a company (or nonprofit) that makes “great-looking, comfortable, and sweatshop-free clothes that are all the rage.”

Keady expects the line to be popular among “college prep” students.


Opinion: A Personal War with the Summit Centerpiece By Anil Prasad „10 Some people might lose faith when they don‟t understand something the first time around, but this year‟s Summit Centerpiece left so much up to interpretation that everyone could enjoy it for different reasons. I mean, affix a few rock wedges on that thing and you have a homemade rock climbing wall that would pay for itself. Stack the two brick walls on top of each other and this could resemble a nonfunctional chimney for Santa to practice on. How about creating different brick shapes and a making a platform for human tetris? Never before has a display been so versatile and had so much potential to make money. Everyday during the Summit, I dreamed of owning a massive company specializing in fake brick wall construction, and I couldn‟t help but be filled with hope by our centerpiece. Then, one day, I overheard Mr. Dante Dreamwrecker remark to his friend that they were smokestacks from Industrial Revolution era Britain. My dreams were shattered: the display had a purpose, and it kind of did look like that if one squinted his/her eyes.

In the end, I loved the Summit Centerpiece not because of what it physically represented, but because of what it meant to me. This centerpiece proved to me that Brophy would really make a lot of money out of a rock-climbing wall, and although something isn‟t actually made out of bricks it can still be useful. No matter how you look at it, those are ideas all of the global Brophy community can agree on.

By Tucker Ring ‟11

While You Were Sleeping… By The Wrangler Staff

Artist’s rendering of the 2010 Summit on Human Dignity Centerpiece.

The Summit on Human Dignity has been a memorable one for sure. It was full of lively speakers, interesting content, thoughtprovoking debates, and the occasional duel of ideals. In the likely event that a few of you missed out on one some content as you slept, we at The Wrangler came up with some highlights to enliven your memories of this year‟s Summit:

The Wrangler Art Gallery: World’s Finest “Summit Anonymous “SummitSummation” Summation”, — Anonymous

The 1980s was not a good decade for social justice

Some other kids sleeping

An upgraded Mr. Fisko (Doctorate Edition)

Memoirs of Mr. Perkins‟ s grandson

“Green” ideas make a second appearance in the Summits

Eustace Conway did not show; Mark Potter, Ph.D, did

Editors Keith Bender ‟11 Henry Wilky ‟11 Photography Editor Michael Notestine ‟11 Moderators Mr. John Damaso ‟97 Mr. Steve Smith ‟96 Marketing Advisors Phil Knight Jim Keady

Interested in contributing? Email: wrangler@brophybroncos.org

A.M.D.G. The Wrangler © 2010

Nike is evil. So is Puma. And Adidas. And... Converse. And New Balance. And whatever footwear you‟re currently wearing.

Labor unions get “bad rap”

Robin Williams impersonator fills in for Jesuit priest

Other nations have a very different view of America

Liberal faculty and students rejoice; conservatives mope

Corporations have another four invasions planned that we don‟t even know about

Someone forgets to turn lights back on after introductory video

“Room at the table” theme fails to catch on in gym exit points

Printed on sweatshop-free, locally grown, edible paper

The Wrangler, Edition 3 (March 2010)  

Special Edition: Roundup of the 2010 Summit on Human Dignity

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