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AMERICA’S TOP WEDDING MAGAZINE

NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2021

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WI N T H I S DRE S S! ENTER BY 11 /15/21 SEE PAGE 16

LOVE YOUR GOWN Chic styles for every bride

PLANNERS TELL ALL

What they love What they learned What’s ahead

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get pretty, sexy skin

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ways to cut catering

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TAKE A BITE OUT OF YOUR BUDGET

S T E L ! S I H D- O T ng tips i n n a l p inute 20 last m

etiquette

ANSWERS

Q&A

Wedding

Straight talk, smart solutions by Mary Clarke, Editor in Chief

I’m getting married at the end of January and am concerned that with all the holiday activities beforehand our invitations will get lost in the shuffle, and people will neglect to respond. How can I make sure this doesn’t happen?

Get your invites out early! No one has ever complained about receiving wedding invitations too soon—in fact, it’s really a courtesy, since it gives guests more time to plan. I’d make sure your invitations are in mailboxes by December 1 and give an R.S.V.P. deadline of just after the first of the year and at least two weeks before your wedding date. This way, if you do have to make follow-up calls and send emails, you’ll have the time to do so. If yours is a destination wedding, send out save-the-date notices six months before the wedding and invitations four months before the big day. WORKPLACE INVITES

We don’t have enough in our budget to include all of my coworkers but I’d like to invite some of them. How can I do this without offending anyone?

Where to begin? With your boss. As a courtesy, you should definitely include your immediate supervisor and your assistant if you have one. If you’ve been working (in person or virtually) with a regular crowd and feel close to them then you pretty much have to go the all-or-nothing route to avoid hurt feelings. If you have a groups of people reporting to you (say you’re head of a department), you have two options: Invite all of them, or just the most senior members of the group.

MENU MATTERS

My son’s fiancé is vegan and wants to have an all-vegan menu at their wedding. Is this a good idea?

Not everyone is a strict vegan, so a better option would be to offer a varied menu that include vegan dishes—the couple can even have a delectable vegan cake. They should also place an insert in the wedding invitation asking guests if they have any special dietary requirements (gluten-free, kosher) and then ask their caterer to prepare appropriate dishes if need be. THANK-YOU TIP

A friend suggested we send preprinted thank-you notes (along with a wedding photo) to ease the task of responding to all the gifts. Is this appropriate?

Only a handwritten personal message from you and your new spouse will do. Send out your thank-you notes within three months of the wedding and be sure to include a reference to the specific gift. If you receive any gifts before the big day send your thankyou notes out immediately to avoid a backlog. And while a photo is a nice memento, it’s not necessary to include one. BRIDAL PARTY TOO BIG?

How many attendants are considered too many? I have tons of friends and can’t make up my mind about who to include.

You can have a few as one (maid or matron of honor) or as many as 12.

But just know that a large number of attendants usually means more money spent (thank-you gifts, bouquets) and more planning stress. Coordinating the schedules and attire for a big group is challenging, which is why most wedding parties average four to six bridesmaids. Although it’s hard to narrow down your choices keep in mind that you can also give honored roles to friends that won’t be attendants. Ask them to do a reading, recite a special prayer or blessing and, if they’re musically talented, sing a song or play an instrument during the ceremony. DANCE DILEMMA

At my daughter’s wedding, am I expected to dance with my ex-husband after the father/daughter and mother/son dances? I’ve remarried and would not want my current husband to feel slighted.

It’s considerate of you to ask. No, you’re not expected to dance with your ex-husband. When the parents are called to the dance floor, your partner can be your new husband and your ex can dance with his date or wife (if he’s remarried as well). ››› Go to bridalguide.com/QA for more etiquette advice. And send your planning questions to us at mail@bridalguide.com.

PHOTOGRAPHY:MICHAEL AND CARINA PHOTOGRAPHY

R.S.V.P. PLEASE

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planning notebook

ADVICE

FIVE THINGS

BY CATE DOTY

I LEARNED ABOUT WEDDINGS FROM WRITING FOR

THE NEW YORK TIMES BIG WEDDINGS, SMALL WEDDINGS, WEDDINGS THAT ENDED IN DIVORCE — I’ve seen them all. I started

working in wedding catering as a teenager, and after college, I went to work for The New York Times’ society desk, where I wrote wedding announcements for some of America’s most famous (and infamous) couples. I even wrote a book about it. So you could say I know a bit about weddings: the before, the during, and what happens the day after. After more than 20 years, I’ve learned a few things about weddings and how important it is, after all the fuss and flowers, to focus on what’s in front of you: the person you love. It’s going to be fine. It poured buckets on our wedding day, an outdoor spring affair with dinner under a pavilion. Oh, and my husband disappeared the morning of our wedding. But we had the foresight to buy a bunch of umbrellas, and Michael’s groomsmen eventually found him in the hot tub at his hotel, where he was trying to recover from a hangover. Things will happen on your wedding day that you didn’t plan for; some might be funny, and others might not. But keep your eye on the prize: You’re getting married to the person you love with your whole heart. The things that you’re working so hard on right now are going to be great, and even if your printer messed up the place cards, your guests will still figure out where to sit.

2 Everything you’re feeling is OK.

Planning a wedding, and getting married, will be one of the most emotional experiences you’ll ever have. Every emotion you’re experiencing right now — happy, sad, fearful, loving, angry, frustrated — this is all normal, and all expected. I cried a lot before I got married, and at what felt like the craziest things: trying on my wedding ring, for example, or walking to a yoga class. But a wedding is the ending of something, and the beginning of something else— one of life’s greatest traditions, and also one it its biggest changes. Let yourself feel what you need to feel, and lean on your friends and family. But that said...

for everyone you know is fighta great battle. 3Being kind,

That might sound a little dramatic. But when you’re in the throes of wedding planning, it can be hard to remember that not everyone is as singularly focused as you are on your wedding. Your wedding dress fitter has faced the tantrums of many brides, but she’s still on the floor, pinning your dress to your specifications. Your caterer can’t control the food supply chain — especially now — but they’ll work with you as best they can. Your attendant who lost their job during the pandemic might

not be able to afford the outfit you selected, but they still want to be there for you on your day. A little perspective and kindness, even when you feel like so much is being asked of you, can go a long way to a happier wedding — and help you avoid emotional fallout after you get back from your honeymoon.

4 Drink water.

I’m serious. I had a pounding headache by the end of my wedding, and it was because I hadn’t drunk enough water that evening. We had a spectacular wait staff who cleared dishes and glasses attentively, but that also meant my water glass walked off before I got a chance to drain it. Pair it with alcohol, buy yourself a “bride only” water bottle and put it under your chair. Then, task one of your trusty attendants with the single goal of making sure you have a full glass of water at all times — do whatever you need to do. Drink water. Trust me. Your body will thank you later.

your wedding is going to be day of your life, 5 Iftheyoubestthink

wait until you see what happens next. Because in the end, that’s what it’s all about, right? As much as we want our weddings to be the perfect day for us, we can’t forget what’s on the other side of it: a marriage, with all the joys and complications that life can bring. I’ve been married 11 years, and life has thrown a lot at us: health scares, moves, job changes, funerals, miscarriage—and also some of the greatest happinesses and thrills a person can experience. Throughout everything, with all the Cate Doty’s memoir, joy and chaos that life can bring, we’ve had Mergers and Acquisitions a home in each other’s arms. The vows we (G.P. Putnam’s Sons), said in April 2010 remain the underpinnings takes a deep dive into her adventures as an of our life together, as a couple and a family. editor and writer at The New York Times. How lucky I am to be able to say that still. 

1Something will go wrong.

Fresh, fun and flirty perfectly define these personality-packed gowns with gorgeous embellishments.

CAPTION HERE

PHOTOGRAPHY BY TERRY DOYLE

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CAPTION HERE

Strapless, double-faced stretch twill mikado highlow gown with pleated waist and Obi knot, about $795, by Sachin & Babi; sachinandbabi.com. Tortoise sunglasses by Vera Wang Eyewear; baxterandbonny.com. Freshwater pearl earrings by Lady Grey; ladygreyjewelry.com. Vintage scarf, similar styles can be found at Ingmarson; ingmarson. com. Silver cuff by Nina Shoes; ninashoes.com. Solitaire diamond ring by Zales; zales.com. Beaded fringe purse by Sachin & Babi; sachinandbabi.com. Sparkle heels by JustFab; justfab.com.

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REAL DESTINATION WEDDING

LOS CABOS

THE STAR-STUDDED MEXICAN RESORT TOWNS OF LOS CABOS ARE KNOWN FOR LUXURY HIDEAWAYS, A-LIST CLIENTELE AND CINEMATIC SETTINGS.

Serina and Frankie after swapping vows. 000

CAPTION HERE PHOTOGRAPHY: LA 76 PHOTOGRAPHY PHOTOGRAPHY:

BY JENNA MAHONEY

All flowers were locally sourced.

The picture-perfect scene.

IT’S FITTING THAT A WEDDING SO ABUNDANT WITH EXQUISITE, MADE-FOR-THE-’GRAM iam dolupta tiossi details would have been influenced by a social media account. “My husband always wanted a desti- acero quideli nation wedding in Cabo,” says Serina Larez about Frankie, whom she married at an intimate celebration in October 2020. “I followed our photographers, Gina and Ryan for a while and always loved their

PHOTOGRAPHY: (CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT) PHOTOGRAPHY: LA 76 PHOTOGRAPHY; GINA & RYAN PHOTOGRAPHY; LA 76 PHOTOGRAPHY

photos from Acre,” she explains. After getting engaged, Serina did some more research to discover the 25-acre, adults-only hideaway is located in San José del Cabo. “It felt so meant to be!” she says. The California couple hosted a small group of friends for a days-long celebration that showcased the best of the property and setting. “Cabo and Acre were so perfect,” they say.

“My husband and I and most of our guests are from California, so the quick flight to get to Cabo was a huge factor. Acre’s beauty— the ceremony area is a mango orchard—the excellent food, vendors and weather made it impossible to choose anywhere else.” Acre’s bespoke farm-to-table menu at the reception.

Frankie and Serina said “I do” under the shade of fruit trees.

Buen Provecho

Excellent food and drink is an Acre hallmark. In fact, the foliage-dense, secret gardenesque property, with its treehouses and villa accommodations positioned in the area’s foothills, actually made its debut as a restaurant. Currently, Acre offers the bounty of the region infused with the inventiveness of the California culinary movement in a trio of eateries. All feature memorable meals and equally exquisite cocktails with most ingredients sourced on-site. Similarly, the food at Serina and Frankie’s celebration was a stellar standout. “Acre’s food is truly amazing. Everything was farm to table. And we still crave the cheddar biscuits,” they recall. “We had a mix of fish, meat and veggie options for cocktail hour and our main course,” says Serina, who also praised the paloma cocktails—“they’re the best.” ➺

Mixologist at work.

Dig In!

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