The Pulse 9.47 » Nov. 22-28, 2012

Nov. 22-28, 2012

Vol. 9 • No. 47

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Musical Chairs

Lisa Dempsey and Gordon James reflect on life as working musicians with the Chattanooga Symphony

the BOWL‘rise up’MUSIC BIG GIGANTIC arts Matthew Deleget SCREEN‘LINCOLN’

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INSIDE THE PULSE •NOV. 22-28, 2012 •vol. 9 •no. 47 Everyone’s President

• Everyone knows Honest Abe, right? Still, Steven Spielberg’s wonderful new film, “Lincoln,” gives us the 16th president up close and personal, with a transcendent portrayal of the man by Daniel Day Lewis. Review by John DeVore • Screen » P15

On the cover: Lisa Dempsey and Gordon James photographed by Kim Hunter

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the fine print

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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PUBLIC ART

Glass Street scales ladders to ‘Rise Up’ public art chattanooga and glass House Collective are collaborating to produce “Rise Up Chattanooga,” a sculpture made entirely from borrowed ladders. The idea was conceived and will be carried out by sculptor Charlie Brouwer to coincide with Glass House Collective’s “Build a Better Block” event in February 2013.

“I saw signs when I was coming down here. It’s something that somebody didn’t think about, but they say ‘Chattanooga Happens Downtown,’” Brouwer said.

“When you think about that and you think about living in this neighborhood, what does that make you think? Does that mean that it doesn’t happen here [on Glass Street]?”

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revitalization effort is a reminder that Chattanooga doesn’t stop when downtown ends. The city’s successful resurgence excluded many outlying neighborhoods, transforming once vibrant areas into ghost towns. “Rise Up Chattanooga” will attempt to combat that trend by drawing the entire community together in the name of art.

“Rise Up Chattanooga” will join Brouwer’s growing “Rise Up” portfolio of similar works that have spanned from Atlanta to Grand Rapids, Mich. Each sculpture is constructed with borrowed ladders from members of the community and held together with heavy-duty cables to create an interactive and metaphoric piece of art.

Brouwer recently visited Chattanooga for a preliminary site visit and conceptualized the idea for “Rise Up Chattanooga” to incorporate the arches that can be found on Glass House Collective’s building. An arch can also be a bridge, Brouwer said. In this way, the design can be translated not

only as a wink to Glass House Collective, but to Chattanooga’s iconic Walnut Street Bridge and Chattanooga as a whole.

Rather than placing the sculpture downtown for heavy viewer traffic, Brouwer and Public Art Chattanooga decided that the nature of the sculpture would lend itself to Glass Street. Brouwer explained that bringing art to underserved areas to foster community involvement is trending around the country. The best part about it, he said, is that its success has little to do with the art itself.

“These pictures are a celebration for artwork having happened, and the artwork has been the engagement of the community,” Brouwer said. “That’s the measure of our success. Numbers of ladders, beauty of the object itself visually—that’s not the artwork.”

Glass House Collective’s “Build a Better Block” event will be held on Saturday, Feb. 23, 2013. Brouwer will begin construction of “Rise Up Chattanooga” a week in advance of the event. In the weeks prior to “Build a Better Block,” Glass House Collective will begin asking to borrow ladders from local households and businesses.

Brouwer will work from Feb. 16 until the day of “Build a Better Block” and the final ladders will be placed on the sculpture during the event. “Rise Up Chattanooga” will stand for about one month and then all ladders will be returned to their respective owners.

“We’re asking the whole city to think of a city not being able to rise until the least of its parts are rising,” Brouwer said. “That’s what Glass House is all about, trying to convince the city that it’s worthwhile to invest time and resources to do this here.

We’ll finish with the project and give all those ladders back and say, ‘Now the work really begins.’”

For more information, visit glasshousecollective.org. To take a look at past “Rise Up” sculptures visit charliebrouwer.com.

—Erin McFarland

affordable HOUSING

It takes a village an honest discussion of the affordable housing crisis in Chattanooga reveals the tensions that exist in … well, democratic capitalism.

According to the recent report compiled

by Chattanooga Organized for Action and the Westside Community Association, in Chattanooga’s urban core, 25 percent of renting households pay between 30 and 50 percent of their total income for housing, and 28 percent pay more than 50 percent of their income for housing. Six public housing sites have been demolished since 1999. Four more are scheduled for demolition or disposal.

Among other facts, these were included in a presentation by COA/WCA in October that urged mandating developers to provide more affordable housing.

On Monday night, the Regional Planning Authority presented its own report, the product of a yearlong study, in a two-hour forum that included a 13-member panel of public officials, community activists, developers and a banker. RPA Executive Director John Bridger did not dispute the findings of the COA/WCA report, and in fact opened the meeting by saying thanking the coalition for “starting the process.”

But is was the discussion on urban housing the large crowd of residents, city officials including Chattanooga Mayor Littlefield, City Council Chair Pam Ladd and State Rep. JoAnne Favors, developers and others, had come to see.

The RPA study, like COA/WCA’s, openly acknowledged that the estimated 37,000 households making less than $35,000 are being crunched by housing costs, and that this was “especially severe” for renters. Its suggestions for increasing affordable housing in the urban core include assembling vacant properties that can be converted to housing and developing an “affordable housing trust” that developers could access for capital in a continuing tight lending market.

Most controversially, the RPA report recommended a “carrot and stick” approach to developers, rewarding them for building multi-family structures and including affordable housing in their projects, and also levying a fee on non-compliant projects that would be “used elsewhere in the community.” Though less onerous than the changes proposed by COA/WCA, this met with resistance from at least one wellknown developer on the panel, who openly opposed it, and who also complained about the ongoing costs of managing multi-family projects.

Councilman Andrae McGary, whose districts encompasses much of downtown and the Westside, agreed with both the “carrot and stick” proposal and a public/private partnership concept. “Without these,” he said, “we will not see much action on this issue.”

Bridger said the report would be presented to the city council in January. View the full report at chcrpa.org. —Janis Hashe

On the Beat

alex teach

Thankful

it’s that time of the year. in fact, as of press time it’s that day of the year when families come together and break bread in the spirit of “thanks.”

Mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, from across the country, from across the street … and in some cases, from just down the hallway.

They get together and tolerate each other with a thinly veiled annoyance that is dependent upon their level of intoxication and/or their level of participation in the festivities at hand. Don’t get me wrong; for some (the majority, in fact) there are no problems whatsoever.

Well, at least none that would impact the actual meal and the times before and after it.

Other families? It’s sketchy, and I have strict policies when dealing with that level of dysfunction (specifically, the inability to be civilized enough for eight hours to be able to not have to call the damn police to your screwed up household on a national holiday that I am usually annoyed to be working in the first place). But let’s not dwell on the insolvency of the family unit when pressed together like cattle in a chute. No. I’m a cheerful, positive guy and this is a Holiday Issue, after all!

Thanksgiving. And to what does an undeserving soul such as I give thanks?

Such a question, and not one to be taken lightly.

I’ll start simply: Yoga Pants. I said it before, and I’ll say it again: I am thankful for Yoga Pants.

Rarely have I seen them displayed in an offensive fashion, and more often than not I even see them displayed in packs.

Yoga Pants have even changed the way I look at mornings, because the exercise crowd from teens to seniors have embraced

them for both form and function—and so have I. Thank you, Matt Donkersloot and Taylor Lindsay.

Sixty years ago you knew that nearly any ass could be pressed into a shape DaVinci himself would approve of (even mine, being an avid cyclist and all), and you made that dream a reality for all mankind.

If you’re still alive (and you damn well deserve to be), I owe you a solid “Thanks!”

That may seem weird, so let me get a little more predictable: The Swiss Wagon Factory.

The Swiss Wagon Factory was the precursor to the Swiss Industrial Company (or in its native tongue, Schweizerische Industrie-Gesellschaft), better known by its initials “SIG.” Sig Sauer has changed the way I work, shoot and place stickers on things.

Hats, keychains—the whole package. A gun is an important part of a cop’s life, and Sig has made me rediscover the love I once lost after Smith & Wesson gave me a shit-ton of nightmares, random bouts of “the shakes” and other dysfunctions that accompany their professional use. I didn’t think I could love again, re-

ally, until I met this matte black beauty. I’m hooked.

Along the same lines (regarding nightmares and shakes, I mean), I am thankful for term limits.

I’m not talking about presidential term limits, of course; who cares now?

And the current city council voted down putting term limits on themselves, so naturally I’m speaking of Mayor Ron Littlefield.

I am thankful that his term is ending, and that 9,000 out of an estimated 160,000 citizens won’t have the opportunity to put him or his still out-oftheir-depth staff back in office (which is all it took the last time) and therefore complete whatever quest he is on that, nearly eight years later, no one can put a finger on unless they are a convenient solesource bidder, a victim of sexual harassment or a victim of crime.

Indeed. While occasionally a bit of a “frownyface,” I too have an obviously large heart and agree that we do, indeed, have so very much to be thankful for.

Enjoy your day, and carry it on into many others.

But if you can’t, for God’s sake, do not call the police if your dinner goes to hell.

You’ll be Thankful you didn’t.

(Get it? I know, right?!)

Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alex. teach. chattanoogapulse.com • nov. 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

Musical Chairs

Gordon James and Lisa Dempsey reflect on life as working musicians with the Chattanooga Symphony

By Bill Ramsey

T

photos by kim hunter

he term “working musician” (as in making a living at it) is not common in Chattanooga. For the most part, local musicians who play in bands at clubs do so part-time, toiling at day jobs while awaiting their big break or simply fulfilling a fantasy by being in a band that’s paid to play one night a week.

But there is a sizeable group of musicians here who truly deserve the title. They are the professional musicians of the Chattanooga Symphony who have spent their lives mastering their instruments while mostly existing in relative obscurity as members of a symphonic orchestra which is chiefly represented by its conductor.

Unlike their counterparts in popular music, fame is not the guiding star for these musicians. Rather, it is simply the opportunity to play a form of music that, while revered, is constantly threatened by the budget woes that increasingly plague the arts everywhere.

In that respect, life as a “working classical musician” is not unlike that of professional athletes. There is a defined season of play, and while your specific role is valued, you must be a team player. Despite your talent, your position in the organization is never certain and competition is fierce. Ego and passions run high, but a symphony is nothing if not a team, its sound and performance depend on, well, a symphony of players. These musicians, like their major league counterparts, are often obligated to play an additional role as a community ambassador and, when you are not in a top-tier market, finances are almost al-

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ways a concern. You must wear a uniform (of sorts)—in this case formal wear, which is expensive and less than comfortable for some—and maintain a sense of decorum.

Like athletes, common folk tend to hold classical musicians to a higher standard.

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Gordon James holds the principal horn chair with the symphony and has played with the CSO since 1987.

Still, it is a life these musicians sacrifice all else for. For a glimpse behind the gilded curtains of the Tivoli Theatre,

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home of the Chattanooga Symphony, we recently talked with two of the orchestra’s veteran musicians to find out what it’s like to hold a much sought-after position with a professional symphony.

Gordon James and Lisa Dempsey occupy pivotal chairs within the CSO and are both seasoned and respected masters of their respective instruments. James holds the principal horn position and has played with CSO since 1987. Dempsey is a violinist and associate concertmaster who took her chair with the symphony in 1998.

When we meet a few days before the CSO’s season opener, both are dressed casually and are preparing for a series of rehearsals prior to donning formal attire and taking their chairs on the Tivoli stage.

Coming back to the Tivoli is familiar, says James, but not necessarily easy. “It’s like going back to school,” he says.

“We don’t work in the summer and haven’t played so much.

Many people don’t realize that we don’t have a lot of rehearsal time.”

Indeed, the curtain is almost ready to rise, and while its members have practiced the music on their own, they will have only four rehearsals across three days as a unit.

The orchestra is also beginning only its second season under new conductor Kayoko Dan, the youthful violinist who succeeded Bob Bernhardt as conductor and musical director of the CSO last

“

Some climb the ladder ... but most tend to stay with one orchestra, and the quality goes up.

Lisa Dempsey CSO violinist and associate concertmaster

year. Dan’s role as a leader is crucial, both affirm. As the first woman (and AsianAmerican) to hold the post, Dan is much more than an oft-photographed figurehead wielding a baton. Her musical choices and direction affect the entire organization.

“She’s young, but she’s doing fine,” James says. “She’s growing as time goes by and coming into her own at the podium.”

If Dan is the new face and “parent” of the CSO, the musicians are her family, James says, and Dempsey agrees.

They are a tight-knit group who form close relationships over the years, both tell me.

“There’s not been a lot of turnover until this year,” Dempsey adds. “Most of us have been together for the past 10 years.”

The exodus this season is uncommon, but not unprecedented. Despite their comfort or relative security, classical

musicians are not without aspirations.

“Some climb the ladder,” Dempsey says, “looking for higher pay or playing with ‘The Big Five’ in New York— that’s a dream for many musicians.”

Dempsey and James, like many of their colleagues, find fulfillment outside their roles with the CSO in the off season. “We all do other things,” Dempsey, who is also the CSO’s co-orchestral librarian, says. It’s a position she enjoys and one she says she’d pursue professionally if she didn’t play. In addition to her heavy off-season performance schedule, Dempsey acts as head librarian for the Aspen Music Festival.

James substitutes with the Huntsville Symphony and is the adjunct horn instructor at UTC, Lee University, Southern Adventist University and Covenant College, as well as acting as secretary/ treasurer of the local chapter of the Chattanooga Musicians Union.

While the annual challenges of funding, salary and benefits confront classical musicians as they do everyone, both see a silver lining.

Dempsey says that of graduating classical musicians each year, one in 600 secure a chair with one of the nation’s orchestras, a statistic that raises the bar. “[Classical] musicians tend to stay with one orchestra, and the quality goes up,” she says.

Violinist Lisa Dempsey is associate concertmaster and co-librarian for the CSO. She moved to Chattanooga from Boston in 1998.

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CALENDAR

LIST

THE nov. 22-28

DARK SIDE OF THE RAINBOW

• Amber Fults and the Ambivalent Lovers perform the entire “Dark Side of the Moon” album while “The Wizard of Oz” is screened.

THU 11.22 • 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

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MUSIC

SAT11.24

Sufjan Stevens’ Christmas Sing-Along

MUSIC Tryptophan Dance Party • Second annual dance party at the Pint.

9 p.m. • The Honest Pint • 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 • thehonestpint.com

EVENT Grateful Gobbler Walk • Morning walk benefits the homeless.

8 a.m. • Coolidge Park • 150 River St. gratefulgobbler.org

FRI11.23 MUSIC Shark Week, Big Kitty, Elk Milk • Local bands for the post-holiday shakedown.

9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. • jjsbohemia.com

EVENT “Santaland Diaries” • David Sedaris’ hilarious holiday monologue perfomed by CTC actors.

8 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Centre 150 River St. • theatrecentre.org

• Sufjan Stevens has certainly displayed much creativity over his musical career. During his month-long tour spanning November and December, he turns that creativity and off-center artistic perspective towards the holidays with his Christmas Sing-A-Long, subtitled “Seasonal Affective Disorder Yuletide Disaster Pageant on Ice.” That says a lot of what you might expect at this special show. Yuletides?

Apocalyptic tales of Christmas?

Most likely all of that and more. This tour is in support of Stevens’ newly released boxed set, Silver & Gold: Songs for Christmas, Volumes 6-10, with Stevens and a variety of guest artists performing standard, and not-so-standard, seasonal fare. For his first visit to the Scenic City, what better way to welcome Stevens to Track 29 than with some Chattanoogastyle cheer?

TUE 11.27 • 8:30 p.m.

Track 29 • 1400 Market St (423) 558-0029 • track29.co

MUSIC The Breakfast Club • Get a faceful of the ’80s.

10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. • rhythm-brews.com

EVENT Saints & Sinners • Matthew Lumpkin and Patrick Jolle mix mainstream and eccentric comedy.

10:30 p.m. • Vaudeville Café • 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 • funnydinner.com

SUN11.25 MUSIC Napalm Death, Municipal Waste, Exhumed, Speedwolf • Music that truly screams “Sunday!”

9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

EVENT “A Christmas Carol” • Holiday classic haunts the Tivoli.

2 p.m. • Tivoli Theatre • 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS • chattanoogaonstage.com

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Sax, Synths & Big Beats big gigantic are neither big nor gigantic at the moment, but they’re working on it. The Colorado-based duo of synthesist, saxophonist and producer Dominic Lalli and drummer Jeremy Salken, often called Big G, (coming to Track 29 on Friday) have a novel take on techno. On stage, the conservatory-trained saxophonist looks more like a DJ as he dances behind a bank of synthesizers creating a melodic counterpoint for his tenor sax. Salken, a deft and dynamic drummer, mostly maintains straight four-on-the-floor-dance beats, but every once in a while he breaks time following Lalli’s swirling synths in apparently improvised synth and drum skirmishes.

“We’re really getting closer and closer to finding a sound that mixes a lot of electronic sounds, but is a solid thing that is really us,” said Lalli in an interview in the Aspen Times. “It’ll be nice to get something in these kids’ ears that is new, but is really us.”

That was more than a year ago. Judging from the shows excerpted on You Tube and their most recent album, Nocturnal, they’re edging toward an interesting hybrid. (Free downloads of all their albums are available on their website.)

Combining electronic dance music’s fiercely rhythmic drive with Lalli’s free floating sax and synth melodies, the two often approach something like a mix of Pink Floyd and Skrillex. It doesn’t always work.

“Oh, a super smooth sax solo and live drumming,” asked one reviewer from Spin, considering whether to stop and listen to their set at Lollapalooza last summer. He wasn’t enthused—and despite being the only person anywhere on-line with a negative reaction to Big G, he had a point. Another reviewer noted that the duo, whose live shows have received almost

uniformly rapturous reviews, is at times a tad dull in the studio. Part of the problem is their tendency (like many jam bands) to rely on a riff. They latch onto a catchy riff and then wear it out over endless repetitions. An audience hearing the tunes for the first time may enjoy the repetition, but on record it soon wears thin.

At times on the album it sounds as if the musicians are fighting with the beats, synths and bass drops driving the music. Techno works best when the energy of the beats is offset with relatively simple, often repetitious melodic lines. Lalli said he’s looking for “something solid.”

On this album, that often means an uneasy mix of Herbie Hancock’s funky pop jazz dance tracks (like “Rockit,” an MTV staple in the early ’80s) with his edgy, experimental big band that expanded the boundaries of big band jazz from the late ’60s.

Lalli’s sax rides high in the mix over often densely layered combinations of horns, bubbling synths and rum-

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Big Gigantic are neither big nor gigantic at the moment, but they’re working on it. bling bass lines energized by Salken’s powerful percussion.

When it works, as on a track like “Its Goin’ Down,” it’s as headily danceable as the best rock and roll, but on tunes like “Heavyweight Champion” and “Hopscotch” it becomes ponderously top heavy. Ironically, it seems techno’s elephantine approach needs a light touch.

It often sounds as if they are feeling their way through on the album. It’s not until the second half that they start getting a handle on how this music works. Lalli has said in several interviews that he only recently began paying attention to techno. Before he and his then-roommate Salken began experimenting with electronica in 2008, Lalli had been playing Afrobeat-based jazz with The Motet. A number of tunes on the album, “All Nighter” for one, sound like a mix of Fela Ransome-Kuti’s airy Afrobeat big band’s massed horns mixed with techno’s skittering rhythms. The problem is that too often the two don’t mix very well. Afrobeat’s rangy or-

ganic swing feels airless and constricted in this context.

Combining Afrobeat’s exuberance with techno’s manic drive should and sometimes does create a heady hybrid, but more often the two work against each other and the result is more enervating than exciting.

In concert, the duo plays in front of a backdrop of what one reviewer called “daring light show dynamics,” an essential element of most electronic dance music shows.

The duo are dynamic live performers (witness their performance at the Fox Theatre in Boulder on You Tube) and when the material is as strong as “Eyes Closed” or “Stronger,” the closing tracks on the album, it’s a lot like Pink Floyd in their prime with the added excitement of booming bass drops and Salken’s masterful Charlie Watts-style drumming.

Big Gigantic with Ana Sla 8 p.m. • $17/$20 Friday, Nov. 30 Track 29 1400 Market St. (423) 558-0029 track29.co

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Chattanooga Live

LIVE MUSIC

Thursday • November 22

Give Thanks to Guilty Pleasures Dance Party

Friday • November 23

Elk Milk • Shark Week • Big Kitty

Saturday • November 24 Rusko Afterparty

Sunday • November 25

Napalm Death • Municipal Waste Exumed • Speedwolf

Tuesday • November 27

Quit Your Day Job Comedy Tour

Friday • November 30

Moonlight Bride • Monomath

Saturday • December 1 Roast of Andy Pyburn

Sunday • December 2

Kite Fighters • Thank You Maams Bearhound

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Blvd.

423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA NOV

OF DARK SIDE THE RAINBOW 9:30p 22 ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ Meets ‘Wizard of Oz’ Amber Fults Band

THU.

23 THE BREAKFAST CLUB SAT. 10:15p24 ROCK THE RUNWAY WED. 8p 28 UNCLE LIGHTNIN’ THU. 8:25p 29 SMOOTH DIALECTS

FRI. with DEEP FRIED 5: Cowboys vs. Aliens Party 10p

All the hits of the 80s

Toys for Tots/Food Bank Benefit Show

with NEW MADRID 11/30: SUNNY LEDFORD 12/1: MIGHTY SIDESHOW 12/5: ERICK BAKER 12/6: SHANE BRIDGES BAND

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

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901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191 Thursday, Nov. 22: 8pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, Nov. 23: 9pm Jenny Holder Saturday, Nov. 24: 10pm Mark “Porkchop” Holder Tuesday, Nov. 27: 7pm

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Facebook.com/theofficechatt 12 • The Pulse • nov. 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

ELK MILK • Chattanooga trio performs on a bill that includes local bands Shark Week and Big Kitty for your post-Thanksgiving rock shot on Friday at JJ’s.

FRI 11.23 • 9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E. MLK Blvd. • (423) 266-1400 • jjsbohemia.com

Thu 11.22 Open Mic with Hap Henninger 8 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Give Thanks to Guilty Pleasures Dance Party 11 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Tryptophan Dance Party 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Amber Fults: Dark Side of the Rainbow 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

fri 11.23 Dana Rogers 5:30 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. seerockcity.com Courtney Daly

and Ivan Wilson 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com John Sutton Band 7 p.m. Meo Mio’s Cajun & Seafood Restaurant, 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 521-7160 meomios.com Code Blue 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com Shark Week, Elk Milk and Big Kitty 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Jenny Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Gentlemen’s Jazz Quartet 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956

sugarsribs.com.

Soul Survivor 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Smooth Dialects 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Husky Burnette 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Critty Upchurch 10 p.m. RAW, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919

sat 11.24 Dana Rogers 5:30 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout Mtn., Ga. seerockcity.com Monkey Shine 9 p.m. SkyZoo, 5709 Lee Hwy. (423) 468-4533 skyzoochattanooga.com Gentlemen’s

daily lunch & drink specials!

Waste, Exumed, Speedwolf 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

The only place in Town where you can sing karaoke anyTime.

tue 11.27

AMBER FULTS & the ambivalent lovers • Here’s something we haven’t heard or seen before: Amber Fults and her band perform Pink Floyd’s entire “Dark Side of the Moon” while “The Wizard of Oz” plays on a screen behind her on Thanksgiving at Rhythm & Brews.

THU 11.22 • 9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

Jazz Quartet 9:30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com The Breakfast Club 10:15 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Soul Survivor 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Mark “Porkchop” Holder 10 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Rosedale Remedy 10 p.m. RAW, 409 Market St.

honest music

(423) 756-1919 Rusko After Party 11 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

Sun 11.25 Courtney Daly and Ivan Wilson 3:30 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Terr.

(423) 713-8739 jackaschopshopsaloon.com Chris Gomez 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Napalm Death, Municipal

Pee Wee Moore 6:30 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Sufjan Stevens Christmas Sing-A-Long 7 p.m. Track 29, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-4323 track29.co.

Jerry Fordham 7 p.m. Barts Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Drive (423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.com

Book your Birthday, anniversary or holiday parties now!

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singitorwingit-chattanooga.com

wed 11.28 The Deacon Brandon Reeves 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Jason Ratcliff & Dale Click 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Pee Wee Moore and Awful Dreaded Snakes 9 p.m. Jack A’s Chop Shop Saloon, 742 Ashland Terr.

(423) 713-8739 jackaschopshopsaloon.com

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

The Bohannons

St. Paul & The Broken Bones Browan Lollar

THE DEACON BRANDON REEVES • Atlanta-based blue singersongwriter plays Wednesday at The Honest Pint WED 11.28 • 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com

10th Anniversary Concert

Thursday, Dec. 13, 2012

Rhythm & Brews

Tickets On Sale Now! Only $13 @ rhythm-brews.com

local and regional shows

England in 1819 with Raenbow Station ($3)

Wed, Nov 21

9pm

Tryptophan Dance Party 2 ($3)

Thu, Nov 22

9pm

The Deacon Brandon Reeves ($3)

Wed, Nov 28

9pm

As Girls Go with Hot Damn ($3)

Thu, Nov 29

9pm

Sundays: Live Trivia 4-6pm • Free Live Irish Music at 7pm Nov 25: Molly Maguires

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

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35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

chattanoogapulse.com • nov. 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Art+Words

By Rich Bailey my first impression of matthew deleget’s “pictures at an Exhibition” (continuing through Dec. 7 at UTC’s Cress Gallery of Art) was that he was an artist speaking narrowly to other artists. But within a few minutes he won me over.

Arts

“Softedge” is a wooden panel thickly covered with layer after layer of two-inch blue painter’s tape, 10 rolls to be precise.

“Pleasure Zone” is three rolls of 3/4-inch masking tape hanging on pushpins. Both the rolls and the pins are red, yellow and blue, but the colors alternate.

Those same three rolls seem to have been used in “Note To Self,” a blank 27 x 18-inch sheet taped to the wall with two rows of the same colored tape, from left to right, red-yellow-blue on top and blue-yellow-red on bottom.

“Color Vulture,” the largest piece that dominates the gallery’s back wall, is three off-theshelf white canvases with red, yellow and blue spotlights playing over them.

OK, I know it’s conceptual art, but it struck me as a collection of distancing gimmicks, as if he were saying “Art is no big deal, I can make it with light. And who needs to paint when you have painter’s tape?”

But then I started reading.

Most of Deleget’s pieces are accompanied by long paragraphs of text.

All that blue painter’s tape

in “Softedge” not only turns the tool into the medium, it is applied to the surface underneath in a grid, another artist’s tool. Deleget sees subtle color variations that are hard to control, just like with monochrome painting, and “The panel is transformed into a soft billowing pillow of blue by ‘I wonder what would happen if?’ a question that has driven the expansion of thinking in art, technology and science for centuries.”

In “Zero Sum,” Deleget comments on the commodification of art by himself commodifying the work of fellow artists. In this piece, he presents a set of five art books on well-known living abstractionists that he purchased from the sale section of the Whitney Museum of American Art. Like raw materials, these works of abstract art have been packaged into a museum exhibit, manufactured into high-end art books, remaindered to the sale table, then recycled into conceptual art—even more abstract—by Deleget.

“Nuclear Error” is 25 black plastic garbage backs pinned flat to the wall. According to the accompanying text, it is a subver-

“Nuclear Error” by Matthew Deleget features 25 black plastic 30-gallon garbage bags, hung upside down, affixed by static electricity and black pushpins.

sion of “monochrome” painting.

Turns out that both black trash bags and the acrylic paint used in monochromes are pigment mixed in a plastic binder. Art = trash bag. And these trash bags are held flush to the wall by static electricity, a benign manifestation of the same atomic particles that filled so many body bags after the nuclear accidents at Chernobyl and Fukushima.

These texts are mostly free of the ethereal over-thinking that can be so off putting in artist statements. Reading one of these notes prompts a little “aha” of discovery that makes what might have seemed like an opaque inside joke for artists into something a little richer and more subtle.

True, his work depends on the commentaries for some of its effect, but what doesn’t need accompanying text in these times?

Maybe a beautiful wooded

landscape is self-explanatory, but when you drive through the Smoky Mountains, you might want to know why so many trees are dying (acid rain and Wooly Adelgid infestation). Digital devices strive to be self-explaining but most never seem to make it. And are the biggest events of our lives really lived until we tell someone about them?

We talk about everything, so why shouldn’t art come with words attached?

For me the bottom line of good art is that it’s cool stuff from the mind of someone who looks at the world and says, “What can I do with that?” From someone working with clay or paint to a conceptual artist pushing ideas around, artists spend their days attempting to create artifacts or performances that can go out into the world and hold their own next to everything else in the natural and human environ-

ments.

Deleget’s exhibition of visualverbal jabs shares its title with the 1874 musical composition by Modest Mussorgsky, an abstraction of visual art into music that was the only record of the exhibition viewed by the composer.

Deleget completes the circuit by showing pictures that embody abstractions and are best viewed by also reading.

“Pictures at an Exhibition” has been reviewed in the current issue of ArtForum, the ninth Cress Gallery show to be reviewed nationally, according to DirectorCurator Ruth Grove.

Matthew Deleget “Pictures at an Exhibition” Through Dec. 7 Cress Gallery of Art UTC Fine Arts Center, 736 Vine St. (423) 304-97891 cressgallery.org

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14 • The Pulse • nov. 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

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Screen

JOHN DEVORE

Everyone’s President abraham lincoln has become much more than a historical figure.

He stands above the founders as a paragon of American ideals, of honesty and perseverance, of steadfast belief and strong leadership. He is almost sacrosanct in nature, a saint of America’s secular religion, which teaches reverence to the Constitution and the Republic above all other creeds. He is, quite simply, everyone’s president.

Given this stature, it’s appropriate that Lincoln has been depicted in film more times than any other president. In film and books, he has been exhaustively researched and deconstructed. Yet, despite all of this academic investigation, he is still a mysterious figure. Steven Spielberg’s latest film, “Lincoln,” doesn’t reveal anything new. If anything, it reinforces the all too familiar idealistic view of our 16th president. But the film is wonderfully made, with a transcendent performance by Daniel Day Lewis, and an attention to detail that makes Congressional politics as exciting and powerful as a Civil War battle.

“Lincoln” focuses on the final months of the president’s life. He has been reelected, the war is drawing to a close, and the 13th Amendment is making its way through the House.

Lincoln is determined to pass the bill before the war ends so that it has a chance at ratification rather than being dropped as a condition for the South’s surrender.

We follow Lincoln’s agents as they work to secure the 20 votes from the Democrats needed for a two-thirds majority.

He also has to secure the votes of every Republican in the House, not just the radical abolitionists.

The debates on the House floor are thrilling. There is an entertaining lack of decorum among the politicians, a style of rhetoric

that has unfortunately vanished in modern times.

If the House of Representatives were like this today, CSPAN would have higher ratings than anything on network television.

The film is unique in that it shows Lincoln working in the White House, arguing with his cabinet while playing with his son Tad, telling stories at length, much to the chagrin of his team of rivals. He doesn’t stand making speeches.

Lincoln is portrayed as a man out of time, one who sees so much more than those that surround him.

Lincoln here is almost Christ-like—he exudes wisdom in the form of parable, making connections through anecdotal narratives and teaching his disciples with love and affection, even though they do not understand his greater purpose. There is a fascinating scene in which he describes his thoughts behind the Emancipation Proclamation and his seizure of powers that had not been previously found within the executive branch. He is told that through his actions he could be seen as a dictator; he says he was reelected, so the people agree with his actions. What the audience sees is a man faced with extraordinary circumstances who does what he sees as necessary without knowing if the choices are the right ones.

Daniel Day Lewis is the best actor of any generation. There is no trace of the man he is—he disappears

into every role so completely that he becomes the person he portrays. So many actors maintain who they are across their body of work, In “Lincoln,” we are completely aware that Tommy Lee Jones is only playing the character of Thaddeus Stevens because Tommy Lee Jones is always playing a version of himself. The distinction between the two actors could not be clearer: Lewis is a proxy through which Lincoln speaks while Jones is wearing Thaddeus Stevens as a mask.

The rest of the cast is well placed—Sally Field as Mary Todd Lincoln is wonderfully frail in private and outwardly strong in social settings. The scenes between Lincoln and his wife are the film’s only insight into the man that Lincoln was—grief stricken at the loss of his son William, frustrated to no end at his wife’s mental frailty, carrying the weight of the War and its victims heavily on his shoulders. Lewis takes all of these characteristics and mixes them into his performance. This is more than Oscar caliber acting—this is the pinnacle of human ability in the dramatic arts.

The Great Emancipator was not a strong abolitionist, but he knew the direction of history led towards freedom. This film may show him as more divine than human, but considering the state of the country at the time, this portrayal might be more accurate than we know.

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chattanoogapulse.com • nov. 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

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“SANTALAND DIARIES” & “SEASON’S GREETINGS” • Chattanooga Theatre Centre kicks off the season with performances of two of humorist David’s Sedaris’ holiday classics. Judy LaMance and Joshua Harrell (above) bring Sedaris’ tart and hilarious monologues to the stage beginning at 8 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 23, and continue on Fridays and Saturdays through Dec. 8 on the Circle Stage.

FRI & SAT 11.22-23 • 8 p.m. • Chattanooga Theatre Center • 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 • theatrecentre.com

Thu 11.22 Deck the Falls 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Ruby Falls, 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-254 rubyfalls.com Grateful Gobbler Walk 8-10 a.m. Coolidge Park, 150 River St. gratefulgobbler.org Winter Wonders 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Thanksgiving Brunch on the Bluff 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com

fri 11.23 Christmas Market 9 a.m.- 2 p.m.

Ringgold Wedding Chapel, 7683 Nashville St. Ringgold, Ga. (706)-935-8199 ringgoldwedding chapel.com

16 • The Pulse • nov. 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

“Femme” An Art Exhibition 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Shuptrine’s Gold Leaf Designs, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453 shuptrines.com Holidays Under the Peaks (Thru Jan. 6) 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza, 1 Broad St. (423) 402-9960 tnaqua.org River Gallery Day After Thanksgiving Open House 10 a.m.-5 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com Bluff View Holiday Open House 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Bluff View Art District, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com Eat for Awareness 12-6 p.m. Panera Bread Company, 417 Market St. (423) 266-2253 iam1n3.org

Enchanted Garden of Lights 6-9 p.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Road Lookout, Ga. seerockcity.com Sesame Street Live!

6:30 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 642-8497 sesamestreetlive.com Chris Cope 7 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “A Christmas Carol” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS chattanoogaonstage.com “Santaland Diaries” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Saints and Sinners 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

sat 11.24 Sesame Street Live!

10:30 a.m. & 2 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 642-8497 sesamestreetlive.com Holiday Open House Noon-4 p.m.

Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.

Ringgold, Ga. (706) 937-WINE georgiawines.com Chris Cope 7 & 9:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “A Christmas Carol” 7:30 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS chattanoogaonstage.com “Santaland Diaries” 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8538 theatrecentre.com Saints and Sinners 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www. funnydinner.com

sun 11.25 Tim Dillinger 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m. City of Faith Christian Church, 4220 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 875-4433 cityoffaithchurch.com Sesame Street Live!

1 & 4:30 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 642-8497

sesamestreetlive.com “A Christmas Carol” 2 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-TIXS chattanoogaonstage.com Cadek Community Orchestra 3 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 736 Vine St. (423) 425- 4371 utc.edu/finearts Choral Arts Chattanooga presents “The Messiah” 4:30 p.m. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church, 305 W. 7th St. (423) 266-8195 choralartsof hattanooga.org Chris Cope 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

mon 11.26 Watercolor Workshop 9 a.m. & 1 p.m. Townsend Atelier, 201 West Main St. 423-266-2712 townsendatelier.com “The Art of Gifting” 1-5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com Jaime Jorge & Friends 25th Anniversary Concert 6:30 p.m. Collegedale Community Church, 4995 Swinyar Drive (423) 238-7944 jaimejorge.com Chattanooga State Jazz Concert 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga

State Community College Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3383

tue 11.27 Art After School 4:30-6 p.m.

Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View (423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org Christmas on the Promenade 6:30 p.m. Southern Adventist University, (423) 236-2814 UTC Choral Concert 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 736 Vine St. (423) 425-4371 utc.edu/music Quit Your Day Job Comedy Tour 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com

wed 11.28 Rock the Runway Benefit Show 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com Wine Down Wednesday 5 p.m. Broad Street Grille, 1201 Broad St. (423) 424-3700 chattanooganhotel.com

Map these locations at chattanoogapulse. com. Send calendar listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

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Local School Choirs, Santa • Kid’s Crafts • Food!

FREE Admission • Donations Accepted Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave. Signal Mountain • (423) 886-1959 signalmountainmacc.org

chattanoogajobpost.com chattanoogapulse.com • nov. 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

Sushi & Biscuits

MIKE MCJUNKIN

School of Shock

the great beige holiday is once again upon us. thanksgiving across the Scenic City means thousands of kitchens will be buzzing with the sounds of frazzled home cooks cranking out their finest dishes by the melamine trough full. Holiday kitchen warriors will be presenting their “signature” dishes while veteran kitchen heroes pull together the biggest meal of the year using only four burners and grandma’s blue graniteware roasting pan.

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ElMesonRestaurant.com 18 • The Pulse • nov. 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

This is also the time of year when I get cornered between the dessert table and pepaw’s favorite chair by someone who believes that watching “Master Chef” combined with an ability to follow Internet recipes somehow translates into qualifications for being the next Food Network Star. It usually starts with something like, “I’m thinking about going to cooking school,” and ends with them looking at me like a 13-year-old girl who just had her dreams crushed by Simon Cowell.

According to a statistic I just made up, 90 percent of all bad ideas have their inception during the Thanksgiving holiday, so before you run off to buy a set of Mundial knives and a pair Mozo’s take a deep breath and make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into.

If you are seriously considering becoming a chef you need to understand that being a professional cook is not something to be taken lightly. In reality, working in a professional kitchen is less like an episode of “Master Chef” and more like being backstage at a Gwar concert. Working in a commercial kitchen is repetitive, sweaty, very fast paced and very stressful physical labor.

You will most likely spend some time working in an environment where heavy drinking, drugs, casual sex, profanity and the occasional knife fight are not uncommon. If you’ve got a pile of money to play

with, culinary school may seem like a good way to hone some skills to impress your friends at dinner parties, but if that’s your goal please just stay home and watch Alton Brown. None of this is to say that being a chef is not an exciting, rewarding or fulfilling career choice; it’s just not the kind of job that a “normal” person can or would want to do.

One of the first things to think about before signing up for a culinary program is cost. You could easily incur $20 to $50,000 in debt while training for a career that may pay $10 to $12 dollars an hour for the first few years—if you are lucky. Virginia College here in Chattanooga recently began offering a culinary arts certificate (not a degree) for about $15,000. With rare exception this will land you a glamorous position as a prep cook or line cook at a hotel or country club making an average of $9.25 an hour—if you are lucky. If you aren’t so lucky you’ll end up as a lead cook at Applebee’s trying to pay off the debt while making just above minimum wage.

If you are 35 years old or older you are too old to start a career as a chef (I’m sorry to be the one to break the news). You will be standing 10-12 hours a day in excruciatingly hot and humid kitchens, continually moving very heavy things, and you will be mercilessly taunted by much younger and faster

co-workers if you show any sign of weakness.

Look at the kitchen staff of most high-end restaurants and you’ll find mostly lean, sleep-deprived millennials with Steve Buscemi eyes and fresh burn marks: they look like the transient kids hanging out by Walnut Street Bridge, but can perform like a culinary Cirque du Soleil.

If you’re young, healthy and have a desire to learn, I recommend traveling, sleeping on floors and figuring out how other people live, eat and cook.

Consider that taking out a loan to travel and work in good kitchens may be a better investment than a student loan at this point in your life. A culinary degree can be of great benefit, but only to a point.

A year working at ABaC Barcelona or L’Olivo in Capri can change your life and become a route to other great kitchens.

If you are like most people, these are unacceptable lifestyle choices. But again, if this is something that appeals to you in spite of the downsides, the rewards that come from doing a job you enjoy are far more valuable than sleep or money. At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Mike McJunkin cooks better than you and Guy Fieri (although that’s not saying much). Visit his Facebook page (Sushi and Biscuits) for updates and recipes.

Comix

chattanoogapulse.com • nov. 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 19

Free Will Astrology SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Your redesigned thrust vectoring matrix is finally operational.

Love those new nozzles! Moreover, you’ve managed to purge all the bugs from your cellular tracking pulse, and your high-resolution flux capacitor is retooled and as sexy as a digitally-remastered simulation of your first kiss. You’re almost ready for take-off, Sagittarius! The most important task left to do is to realign your future shock absorbers. No more than a week from now, I expect you to be flying high and looking very, very good.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The plot twists will be intriguing.

The actors may be unpredictable, even erratic. Blossoming and decay will be happening simultaneously, and the line between wisdom and craziness could get blurry.

There’s not nearly enough room in this little horoscope to describe the epic sweep of the forces working behind the scenes. Are you willing to confront uncanny truths that other people might regard as too unruly? I hope you are, Capricorn, because that will give you the power to ultimately emerge from the drama with your integrity shining and your intelligence boosted.

AQUARIUS

(Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Psychologists have done studies that suggest we subconsciously adopt the qualities of fictional characters we read about or see in movies. That’s not a problem if those characters are smart, ethical, highly motivated people whose ideals are similar to ours. But if the heroes of the stories we absorb are jerks who treat others badly and make messes wherever they go, our imitative urges may lead us astray. Right now is a crucial time for you to be extra careful about the role models you allow to seep into your imagination. You’re especially susceptible to taking on their attributes. I say, be proactive: Expose yourself intensely to only the very best fictional characters who embody the heights you aspire to reach.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The fates guide him who will; him who won’t, they drag.” So said the ancient Greek philosopher Seneca, and now I’m passing it on to you.

It’s an excellent time for you to think about the issue. Ask yourself: Have you been working closely with fate, giving it good reasons to consistently provide you with useful hints and timely nudges? Or have you been you avoiding fate, even resisting it out of laziness or ignorance, compelling it to yank you along? Spend the next few weeks making sure your relationship with fate is strong and righteous.

20 • The Pulse • nov. 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Don’t think about making art, just get it done,” said Andy Warhol. “Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.” I encourage you to adopt that mini-manifesto for your own purposes in the coming weeks, Aries. If you’re not an artist, simply substitute the appropriate phrase for “making art.” It could be “creating interesting relationships,” “exploring exotic lands” or even “making money.” The main point is: Focus on doing what drives your quest for meaning, and forget about what people think of it.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): A Jungian writer whose name I have unfortunately misplaced made the following observations: “In a man’s psyche, the unconscious is experienced as chaotic, filled with violent and irrational processes of generation and destruction. But to a woman’s psyche the unconscious is a fascinating matrix of sacred images and rituals which in their wildly contradictory meanings express the secret unity of all life.” After analyzing the astrological omens, I suspect that you Taurus men now have an unprecedented opportunity to experience your unconscious as women do. As for you Taurus women: You have the chance to get a vivid, visceral understanding of how true this description of the female unconscious is.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Let’s talk about the Decision. I’m referring to the Choice you have been dancing around and fretting about and analyzing to death. By my estimate, there are at least 15 different solutions you could pursue. But just seven of those solutions would meet the requirements of being intelligent, responsible, and fun.

Of those seven, only four would be intelligent, responsible, fun, and enduring. Of those four, only two would be intelligent, responsible, fun, enduring, and the best for all concerned. I suggest you opt for one of those two.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I’m not necessarily asserting that you need to edit yourself, Cancerian.

Only you can decide that. But I will state unequivocally that if there is in fact any editing needed, now would be a good time to do it. You will have extra insight about what aspects of your life might benefit from being condensed, corrected, and fine-tuned. It’s also true that the rectifications you do in the coming weeks will be relatively smooth and painless. So look into the possibilities, please. Should you calm your blame reflex? Downsize a huffy attitude?

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): How many times have you been in love, Leo? Just once or twice? Or have you dived into the depths of amorous togetherness again and again over the years? Whatever the case may be, I bet you have strong ideas about the nature of passionate romance and profound intimacy.

That’s natural and normal. But I’m going to ask you to temporarily forget everything you think you know about all that stuff. I invite you to become innocent again, cleansed of all your mature, jaded, hopeful, and resentful thoughts about the game of love. In my astrological opinion, there’s no better way for you to prepare for what will come next.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): A medical research journal reported on a British woman who accidentally swallowed a felt-tip pen. It lay there in her stomach for 25 years.

When surgeons finally removed it, they were surprised to find it still worked. I am not suggesting that anything remotely as exotic or bizarre will be happening to you, Virgo. I do suspect, though, that you will soon have an experience with certain metaphorical resemblances to that event. For example, you may retrieve and find use for an element of your past that has been gone or missing for a long time.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “Sapiosexual” is a relatively new word that refers to a person who is erotically attracted to intelligence. Urbandictionary.com gives an example of how it might be used: “I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay. I want a sapiosexual.” In the coming weeks, Libra, I suspect you will be closer to fitting this definition than you’ve ever been before. The yearning that’s rising up in you is filled with the need to be stimulated by brilliance, to be influenced by wisdom, to be catalyzed by curiosity.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In 2007 the band White Stripes did a tour of Canada. One of their final gigs was outdoors in St. John’s, Newfoundland. They came on stage, played one note—a C-sharp —and declared the performance over. It was the briefest rock show in history. Judging from the current astrological omens, Scorpio, I’m thinking it would be a good time for you to do some almost equally pithy things. You have the potential to be extremely concise and intense and focused in all you do.

I urge you to fulfill that potential.

Pack every speech, gesture, and action with a concentrated wealth of meaning.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

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Across

1. Winner 6. Fair share for one of two 10. “___ Death” (Brad Garrett sitcom) 13. “Raw” Crayola hue 14. ___ Lama 15. Vince’s agent, on “Entourage” 16. Painter best known for being tall and stringy?

18. Penn of the “Harold & Kumar” franchise 19. Loose-goose connection 20. City of Circus Circus and New York-New York 21. Spotted laugher 23. Scribble 24. Like hipster humor 25. Surf that’s in charge of grilling the turf?

31. ___-baked potatoes 32. Old saying 33. “Paper Planes” singer 36. Barnyard noise 37. Food Network celeb ___ de Laurentiis 38. Sage, for one 39. Lb. and mg, e.g.

40. ___ belly

41. Classical architecture style 42. Really wants to get the stain out of a ticket?

44. Long-running Broadway musical, to fans 47. Dander 48. Slack-jawed 49. Jai alai basket 52. Roswell visitors 55. Greek goddess of night 56. Fast food chain run

by Germany’s Kohl?

59. Dr. Zaius, for example 60. Last-minute greeting 61. Jazz singer Cleo 62. “___ just what I’ve always wanted!”

63. ___ mater (brain part) 64. Family member, after tying the knot

Down

1. Castro’s home 2. Managed care gps.

3. “Voulez-Vous” band 4. Sea, to Debussy 5. Aggravate 6. Tennis star Mandlikova

7. Draft picks?

8. ___ Cruces, NM 9. Caviar, e.g.

10. Action movie with a 2012 sequel 11. Qom resident 12. Purple shade 14. Like 17. Hotels usually don’t allow them 22. “That’s scalding hot!”

23. Ten beater 24. “Young Frankenstein” role 25. Stick under the seat 26. Knucklehead 27. Drei minus zwei 28. Sends off 29. One side of the Snake River 30. Big name in perfect 10s 33. Actress Suvari 34. Where eye color comes from 35. The basics 37. Disgruntled word 38. Solo in the Olympics 40. Annoyed, like a faucet in the night 41. Tel Avivan, for instance

42. Blair and Brown, for short 43. Kin’s partner 44. Porch on “The Golden Girls” 45. One “Arab Spring” nation 46. Marching band group 49. Ivan the Terrible, e.g.

50. Free verse poet Pound 51. Heart-wrenching 52. Gold medal runner Zatopek 53. Skipjack, e.g.

54. Irish ___ 57. Critical hosp. area 58. Office computer system

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0599. chattanoogapulse.com • nov. 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

Train Song, Be Gone i recently attended a fundraising event for a local performing arts organization. This fancy dinner and short performance was themed “All Aboard” or something rail-transit related, which should have clued me in on what I was getting into. Sure enough, when the performance part of the program began, the song that makes everyone in the Noog cringe came over the PA: “Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?”

Chattanooga’s

!’Clock e l l i v a t i r a g r a M Where it’s always 5 O

Sunday Brunch 11-3

Pasta Station • Omelet Station • Prime Rib

Celebrate!

e v E s ’ r a e Y New

p Too f the

dock

22 • The Pulse • nov. 22-28, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Really?! A performing arts organization couldn’t get more creative than tapping the go-to local theme song that put us on the map only because a popular orchestra conductor who likely had never been here before in his life decided to record it more than 70 years ago? That’s just lazy to say the least.

Fact is, while those beyond a 100-mile radius of our city limits only know Chattanooga from the song, those who live here have been there, heard that—a million times.

Enough already. Time to let it go. So, I’m proposing that we renounce “Chattanooga Choo Choo” as our city’s theme song, forever.

We can keep the hotel and convention center, Track 29 (the tracks, the train and the music venue) and any other money-making venture that takes advantage of the song’s popularity to generate brand awareness.

However, I propose that we otherwise pretend the song never happened. “Oh, you’re from Chattanooga!

I love that song, ‘Pardon me boy, is that the Chattanooga Choo Choo?’”

“Excuse me? What are you talking about?” “You know, Track 29, won’t ya give me a shine’.” “I’m sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone else.”

I realize that other cities, and even states, have been popularized in song.

“New York, New York,” “Georgia On My Mind,” “My Old Kentucky Home” and “Sweet Home Ala-

“

We can keep the hotel and convention center and Track 29 ...

However, I propose we otherwise pretend the song never happened. bama” come to mind. But I doubt there’s one Carolina citizen, North or South, who doesn’t get violently ill every time they hear “Nothing could be finer than to be in Car-o-lina in the moor-or-or-nin’.’” At least that’s not our song.

All of the aforementioned songs have likely been used at one time or another by some convention and visitor’s bureau to drive people towards associated hotel rooms and tourist traps, and rightfully so. It’s the no-brainer connection that separates those places from the myriad of other hot spots in which your gun could be hosted instead. But I

think Chattanooga is better than that.

As one of the most progressive and livable midsized cities in America, we have a lot more to offer than a photo opp on South Market Street. Not too many days go by without a news story reporting a recent local development as being “one of the few ________’s in the country.” From gigabyte Internet speeds and clean energy to Volkswagens, Chattanooga is leaps and bounds ahead of the coal trains and smokestacks that were around when Glen Miller struck up the band back in ’41. So let’s ditch that terribly catchy song like a bad habit and pick a new theme song.

My choice? How about ELO’s “Mr. Blue Sky?” It’s one of the most upbeat, positive pop songs ever recorded. It’s currently considered retro-hip and its Beatle-esque melody is infectious without all of the costly legalities that a “Hey Jude” might present. And the lyrics: “Hey there, Mr. Blue. We’re so pleased to be with you.

Look around see what you do. Everybody smiles at you.” Pure pop poetry. So please, editors of this fine publication, let’s put it up to a vote. Or, let’s have a contest to pick the next local theme song. Anything, except more of the same.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and man about town. Has it really been five years? His opinions are still his own.

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chattanoogapulse.com • nov. 22-28, 2012 • The Pulse • 23