The Pulse 9.07 » Feb. 16-22, 2012

the bowl » talk of the noog

» it’s the wine economy, stupid state rep. jon lundberg fights for wine in grocery stores

» ava’s bridge rising

new arts journal launching

lewis black comes to the tivoli on feb. 24—and he’s pissed. by chuck crowder

BLACK HUMOR

MUSIC RICHARD WINHAM

ARts

SCREEN

food

M cMURTRY LAURA LINZ ‘THE ARTIST’ mayberry, m.e.D. AMERICA’S BELEAGUERED BARD AVA’S NEW 4 BRIDGES DIRECTOR silent (movie) treatment CORNER STORE INTERNATIONALE JAMES

Mardi Gras Chattanooga!

2012 Mardi Gras Party Parade Coolidge Park | Saturday, Feb. 18 | Noon Experience Chattanooga’s 2012 Mardi Gras Party Parade, the first of its kind celebrated in Chattanooga!

Meo Mio’s Cajun Spirits, Chattanooga’s newest Cajun themed restaurant, is bringing the excitement of Mardi Gras to downtown.

Join us at noon in Coolidge Park on Feb. 18 for the parade, complete with human-powered floats, the Tyner High School marching band, and a ‘second line’ that everyone can participate in!

It’s Cajun, It’s Bayou, It’s N’awlins

Visit www.mardigraschattanooga.com or call 423.521.7160 for more details!

Thur. & Fri. 4-11pm Sat. & Sun. 11am-11pm • Mon. 4-10pm

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2 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

4119 Cummings Highway Across from Black Creek Country Club

Facebook/meo mio's cajun spirits

the bowl » talk of the noog

» it’s the wine economy, stupid state rep. jon lundberg fights for wine in grocery stores

» ava’s bridge rising

new arts journal launching

lewis black comes to the tivoli on feb. 24—and he’s pissed. by chuck crowder

BLACK HUMOR

Music richard winham

James

arts

screen

food

mcmurtry laura linZ ‘the artist’ mayberry, m.e.d. ava’s neW 4 BriDges DireCtor silent (movie) treatment Corner store internationale

ameriCa’s BeleagUereD BarD

Since 2003

Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative ChattanoogaPulse.com • Facebook.com/ChattanoogaPulse

EDITORIAL Publisher Zachary Cooper Creative Director Bill Ramsey Contributors Rich Bailey • Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb • John DeVore • Brook Evans Randall Gray • Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib • Janis Hashe Matt Jone • Chris Kelly • D.E. Langley • Mike McJunkin Ernie Paik • Alex Teach • Richard Winham Cartoonists Rick Baldwin • Max Cannon Jesse Reklaw • Tom Tomorrow Photography Josh Lang • Lesha Patterson Interns Britton Catignani • Kinsey Elliott Molly Farrell

ADVERTISING Sales Director Lysa Greer Account Executives David Barry • Rick Leavell

CONTACT Phone 423.265.9494 Fax 423.266.2335 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com calendar@chattanoogapulse.com Got a stamp?

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Contents february 16-22, 2012 • issue no. 9.07

NEW THIS WEEK

1,000 Words

• Cleveland-based journalist and writer Brook Evans’ wonderful “Resplendent: A Southerner’s Repose,” captures the magnetic appeal and unique charms of the South as we launch our series of occasional essays. » 23

COVER STORY

Black on Black

• No offense, Chattanooga, but it’s also no surprise: Lewis Black is pissed—and he’s coming to the Tivoli Theatre to vent. Be ready for fullthrottle anger, unmanaged. Chuck Crowder talks to the comedian and traces his career from playwright (yes, that’s right) to his breakout skits on “The Daily Show.” » 7 music

America’s Beleaguered Bard

• Richard Winham excuses James McMurtry’s often stoic and abrasive personality. The singer-songwriter’s music— gritty rock tales of the heartland—says more about him than any interview. » 11 arts

Laura Linz: No Bridge Too Far • AVA’s new 4 Bridges Festival director » talks about her new role, the arts in Chattanooga and this year’s festival. » 14

Cracking Open Dance

• Barking Legs reboots “Dances in Raw States” with a renewed emphasis on audience feedback. » 15 Laura Linz photographed

by Lesha Patterson

the fine print

The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. We’re watching. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

© 2012 Brewer Media BREWER MEDIA GROUP President Jim Brewer II

chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 3

BOWL

THE POLITICS

THE ARTS vol. 1 ~ 2012

the BRIDGE connecting art & community

TALK OF THE NOOG facebook/chattanoogapulse • email: info@chattanoogapulse.com

It’s the Wine Economy, Stupid

LISA

NORRIS

renaissance gal: artist / entrepreneur

Tubatomic

art for a different audience

when the associated press reported last week that the latest effort to allow wine to be sold in Tennessee supermarkets had failed for lack of a sponsor in the state Senate, State Rep. Jon Lundberg (R-Bristol) says he felt a bit like the newly re-elected Harry Truman in the iconic photo of the president holding the newspaper with the headline, “Dewey Defeats Truman.” To paraphrase Mark Twain, the news of the bill’s demise has been greatly exaggerated.

The short item, which popped up on the Times Free Press’ website on Feb. 7, was based on a report in the Knoxville News Sentinel which cited Lundberg as saying he had expected a “better fate” for his bill because it would require voters to approve supermarket wine sales in their city or county.

“The story was fine, but the headline (‘Wine in grocery stores bill fails again in TN’) is a misnomer. The bill is not dead,” Lundberg says, with only a hint of amusement.

In fact, Lundberg’s House Bill 560, which seeks a referendum for sale of wine in retail food stores, is supported

by Senate Bill 318, sponsored

by State Sen. Bill Ketron (R-Murfreesboro). The bill would allow individual cities and counties to decide on the sale of wine in grocery stores or other retail outlets besides liquor stores by popular vote.

Lundberg also introduced a bill to make those same sales legal statewide without a vote.

Lundberg’s quest is long, but not quixotic, and is the latest salvo in the battle to undo the state’s tangled web of longstanding liquor laws, which have resulted in Tennesseans

The death of State Rep. Jon Lundberg’s wine in grocery stores bill has been greatly exaggerated. crossing the state’s many borders and taking their business to stores in states like Georgia and Virginia where liquor sales are less restrictive.

Lundberg faces powerful opposition from the Tennessee Wine and Spirits Retailers Association, which represents the state’s locally owned liquor distributors and stores, currently the only businesses allowed to sell wine in Tennessee.

Of Lundberg’s attempt— the sixth straight year such a measure has been introduced during General Assembly, dying each previous time—David McMahan, a lobbyist for the association, argues that local referendums would allow big box retailers like Walmart and Costco to spend large amounts of money to spread what he calls “misin-

4 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

formation.”

“I can understand it,” Lundberg says of the opposition. “If you had a monopoly business, you’d be protective, too.”

But while Lundberg couches his bill in “freedom to vote” rhetoric, his motivation is very much economic, a platform that could be called the Wine Economy—and he obviously believes his opponents are, well, stupid.

Like Chattanoogans, Lundberg lives in a border city, in his case the tri-cities area of Bristol in northeast Tennessee.

“My motivation is probably very similar [to those Chattanoogans who would like the option],” says Lundberg. “I live in Bristol, where, like Chattanooga, the state border is literally a mile away. And I see people going to other states to buy wine in a one-stop shop.

Tennessee borders eight other states and it’s driving business out of our state.”

During his argument last year, Lundberg referenced Chattanooga, saying that Costco chose to locate its new store in Fort Oglethorpe instead of the Scenic City because Georgia laws allow the company to sell wine.

Besides convenience, Lundberg says, the law would bring jobs and millions of dollars to the state in tax revenue.

“Every bill has a fiscal note,” he says, “and this one makes millions of dollars. The sales tax alone would bring in $22 million a year.”

The state liquor lobby counters that the law would cause

local liquor stores around the state to close, eliminating small businesses as big-box retailers like Walmart expand. Distributors would also likely be forced to lower their prices due the volume purchased by large chains.

“North Carolina did this [passed a similar law] three or four years ago,” Lundberg says. “I think they had something like 687 liquor stores before the law went into effect.

Afterwards, they had 683.

They obviously didn’t all fold.

It wasn’t catastrophic.”

Supporters of Lundberg’s bills (which The Pulse considers itself one of) measure the passage of such laws as a giant leap forward economically, as a matter of convenience and a historic transition in undoing the state’s archaic Blue Laws.

Allowing the sale of wine in grocery stores and other retail outlets besides liquor stores, which are closed on Sundays, could pave the way for Sunday liquor sales, and the final reversal of the age-old laws.

While that question isn’t specifically addressed in his bill, he says he doesn’t oppose the move. But Lundberg’s not picking a fight with antiliquor forces. He simply views the new law as a logical economic strategy for the state, as well as a convenience.

“I enjoy a glass of wine on occasion,” he says, “but I don’t want to drive to another state to purchase it.”

The bill will come up for a vote before the General Assembly in the next four or five weeks, he says. —Bill Ramsey

in the art biz .. blue skies + art exhibition .. ok mountain + art info .. art investment + workspace +

a publication of

AVA unveils The Bridge arts journal chattanooga’s arts community is an integral part of the city’s current foundation. With well-known, seasoned events such as the 4 Bridges Art Festival, our city is abundant with creative influence. It is only natural that sooner or later that energy would be transposed into print. The Association for Visual Arts has taken on the task with its new quarterly arts magazine, aptly named The Bridge.

“It’s a telling of the visual and applied arts in our community—in-depth stories of art people and organizations, why the arts matter, and how the visual arts are connected to our community at large,” said Anne Willson, executive director of AVA. The free magazine, which launches on Feb. 15, is not solely for AVA members or events, however the magazine is primarily an online publication, with print editions provided for AVA’s higher donors.

The Bridge will initially focus on visual, fine and applied arts, Willson said, and grow to include a broad spectrum of mediums.

“While the [design-based] applied arts are rooted in the fine art foundation, a chasm has grown over the years between the two sectors. We’re saying that, today, the two are aligned and mutually inform one another,” Willson said.

In the fall, AVA will be asking for com-

munity input, looking for great art stories waiting to be shared, as well as asking for info to support the advocacy page.

The Bridge was made possible by a former board member, Mark Song, who donated his time to bring the publication to life. AVA also received advertising support from their 2011 sponsors. After the first few issues, the magazine will offer ad space for companies and organizations interested in marketing alignment.

The publication’s title was somewhat inspired by its signature 4 Bridges festival, as it connects the Chattanooga community with artists from our city, our state, and across the country. The bridge, as a symbol, is both reflected in AVA’s identity and serves as a “guiding metaphor” for other programs within the organization, Willson said.

“Chattanooga is the perfect town for this; we are really quite excited about the magazine becoming part of AVA’s ongoing work,” she said. —Kinsey Elliott

Editoon

rick baldwin

Every day, they write the book (of authors) local resident authors, past and present, are being sought out by the Chattanooga Writers’ Guild in order to create a definitive master list of the region’s published authors. The writers’ guild is a non-profit organization that supports and promotes the craft of writing in greater Chattanooga. They are seeking authors who currently live, or have lived, in Chattanooga that have published a book that is for sale to the public.

In order to maintain their goal of supporting all local authors, organizer Lantz Powell said the guild needs to find out who they are to create communication with non-published authors. Once information is gathered and the list is made, the guild will throw a party for the published authors.

“Our rule is if you were born here, went to school here, or moved here recently you can be on our list,” said Powell. He said the guild has been getting phone calls from out of state writers wishing to be included, so the list is continuously growing.

“Chattanooga has a good history and a lot of people understand they have memories their grandparents told them that need to be put on paper,” Powell said.

The guild is seeking leads on authors, whether published by traditional houses, small regional publishers or self-published, all published works are eligible to be included. To submit information, email your list of published books with your contact information to chattanoogawritersguild@gmail.com. —Kinsey Elliott

City becomes studio during 10x10 from April 13 to 22, artists from all over the region will occupy downtown Chattanooga, making the city their own working studio.

As part of the first annual HATCH, the muchbuzzed-about collaborative citywide arts and culture showcase, MakeWork will host a 10-day exhibition of 100 creative works established on a 10-by-10-block city footprint. Streets, parking lots, parks and abandoned buildings will become a medium to construct, innovate and celebrate creativity.

These 100 works, spread out from the riverfront to Martin Luther King Boulevard, will include 10 artifacts, which are substantial physical and phenomenal structures, and 90 animations, which are creative happenings sprinkled

HATCH FESTIVAL

throughout downtown to engage visitors and enliven their interactions with the artistic displays.

These works will inspire and be inspired by the creative spirit of Chattanooga.

The 10 site-specific artifacts, with locations chosen with the help of the Chattanooga History Center, will be spaced throughout this 10-by-10 footprint so that two artifacts in the same area will be highlighted each day. These artifacts involve materiality and for-

mal architecture, and will bring to life the history and culture of the city’s downtown core and give visitors a sense of community and place. Many of these artifacts engage the industrial heritage that is integral to Chattanooga’s identity.

The 90 animations are more fluid than the artifacts, and serve to energize and enliven each block. They are divided into three time-sensitive categories, from short and exciting experiences like a pop-up fashion show to more lasting installations like sculpture and a graffiti skate park.

For all of these works, the aim is to inspire and engage the community of downtown Chattanooga and celebrate its unique culture, creativity and history. For more information, visit makework. is. chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 5

On the Beat

alex teach

Mr. Cheerful, The Eternal Optimist “ i am hesitant to write about the immediate future not because I am afraid of being wrong about it; I am hesitant because I am always wrong about it. I just don’t want this time to be like the other times I’ve been wrong.

Except for the New York Giants recent example of a great Bowl game, I literally can’t remember the last thing I was right about—and who saw that coming? For instance: The mayor won’t stop hiring cops, not for two whole years anyway, which has never been done and would cause a 20 percent reduction in the force that could only be made worse by a simultaneous pay freeze. At least they’ll be able to respond from their homes, because the loss of 58 percent of the cars they use to bring their officers and bodies to in-progress and other major investigations could cause a spike in crime.

Gangs were already a problem, after all.

And if that happens, he’ll never hire a lawyer and a minister to address the problem, because that would seem re-freakin’-diculous. He also would never, ever do all that under the guise of fiscal restraints and then direct financial resources to the City Wellness Center to the tune of $4.1 (Holy God) million-dollars; it would give the impression he’s making the

city vulnerable for a Hamilton County government takeover, which also seems strange.

I know these things, because I’m so smart. At least that’s what I thought at the time.

Maybe time has been the problem though?

Five years ago, I would have called you were nuts if you said the mayor’s office would allow a firm owned by a convicted felon to be hired to install closedcircuit security TV’s in police headquarters, particularly if they were unlicensed (because they’d be in violation of State Law T.C.A. 62-32-315, not that anyone looked).

Someone would notice.

Someone would care. (Wrong.

Well, partially. Someone noticed, but no reporter cares.

Emotionally numb maybe?)

And surely someone like me

wouldn’t bring it up like this.

Imagine the heat I’d catch. But that’s not what’s got me more introspective than usual about my prescient handicap.

I once would have thought that no one would help a man flee a community corrections program and acquire and hide guns, cover up robberies committed with them, and ultimately aid and abet him after murdering a police officer.

Which is what brings me to my quandary.

I’m writing this on a Thursday, but the sentencing hearing regarding the above for the murder of my co-worker isn’t until the following Monday, and this won’t see print until the Thursday after that dates.

What if they get the maximum sentence available? I want that very much, as much as I want the soulless son of a bitch who was witnessed killing my friend to feel rabbit-like terror when he feels cold poison sliding up his arm from his antecubital veins as he’s tied down to a cross-shaped stretcher.

(Color me Old Testament, if you will; I’ll live with it.)

So if I’m wrong about something as obvious as receiving maximum sentencing for assisting in such an obviously horrific crime spree—something more shocking to the

All my natural optimism doesn’t make this world any less of a shitty place, but at least I’m trying.

conscious mind than even the framers of those sentences may have conceived—do I want to write about it four days in advance of the hearing and seven days prior to going to press?

I guess reading this column answers the question.

And do you know why? For the same reason I’m so wrong about these other once-obvious conclusions: I’m an optimist, I guess.

I’m a glass-is-half-full guy, a good-guys-always-win idiot.

Sunshine and puppies? Well, it’s cloudy most days and I buried my dog with a sizeable portion of my soul in chert and clay soil not too long ago, so not so much that. But in general I’m a pretty cheery son of a gun. And my charitable, light-hearted nature is clearly a weakness.

I want to be told why any of the numbers I spat out are “good.” I want to know why a

little boy named Nathan Upshaw who now only lives in my dreams had to live through 80 years’ worth of horror compressed into five short ones. I want to know why politicians can’t do things by just doing them for the right reasons as opposed to the absurdity that is finally getting people hurt and killed (yes, I said that) through violence perpetuated by irresponsible decisions and priorities.

And I want to believe that Ray, Kathleen and Rachel Matthews, as well as Rachel’s idiot boyfriend James Poteete, will get every minute possible in sentencing for their crimes.

By the time you read this we’ll find out just how half-full or half-empty that glass really is. But still, what difference does it make?

All my natural optimism doesn’t make this world any less of a shitty place, but at least I’m trying.

(And my building surveillance was very well installed, “laws” and “impropriety” aside.

See? Mr. Cheerful to the end.)

Columnist Alex Teach is a full-time police officer of nearly 20 years experience. The opinions expressed are his own. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/alex.teach.

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ON The sky is falling and

Lewis Black is running on empty by chuck crowder with an election year approaching, this is a very trying time for most Americans, but especially Lewis Black. While Democrats wonder what President Obama will achieve by the end of his first term in office and Republicans try and keep up with which candidate will nab the nomination to run against him, Lewis Black is pounding his head against the wall over both prospects.

“Republicans have bad ideas, Democrats have no ideas,” Black laments from a hotel room in St. Louis on his current stand up comedy tour. “And the worst part is that all the Democrats do is just take the Republicans’ bad ideas and make them worse.”

A political “analyst” for decades, Black’s comedy is based on one thing—whatever makes him angry. And nothing makes Black angrier than the political climate in the United States.

“I feel like I’m on the Titanic

and I’m the only one that knows what’s going to happen,” said Black. “Obama deserves credit for killing Osama Bin Laden because it happened on his watch, but what the Republicans don’t want to give him credit for is saving the auto industry. What a huge win for the economy.”

A fan of neither party, Black has plenty to say about both in his new cable special on Epix called “Running on Empty,” which he’ll bring to the Tivoli Theatre stage live at 8 p.m. on Friday, Feb. 24. »P8

chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 7

“If I lived there all of

the time I’d weigh 300 pounds.

It’s like,‘Oh, I didn’t

know you could put fat on top

of fat and then drizzle

sugar on it.’ ” lewis black on the south

In fact, Black has been offering up jeering observations on subjects such as history, social mores and politics on stage since the 1970s. But it wasn’t until 1996 when friend and producer Lizz Winstead asked Black to create a regular three-minute segment for a new Comedy Central program called “The Daily Show” that most people started to take notice.

“I was actually hired for the show long before Stephen Colbert or even Jon Stewart for that matter, but it was a happy accident for all of us,” Black explained. “We all have a knack for conveying our disgust for the system in a way that makes people listen and laugh. Playing off of each other just served to hone our skills and keep each other pissed off.”

Free to rant about whatever was bothering him at the time, his appearances on the show evolved into the popular “Back in Black” segment that became one of the longest running skits on the show and earned him national acclaim. In fact, his successful relationship with Comedy Central has generated four stand-up specials and two series, “Last Laugh with Lewis Black” and “Lewis Black’s Root of All Evil.”

It was his continued exposure on “The Daily Show,” however, that earned Black Best Male Stand Up at the American Comedy Awards in 2001 and a recording deal with Stand Up! Records. Releasing eight albums, six under the Comedy

Central Records label, Black has won two Grammies for Best Comedy Album, the first in 2007 for “The Carnegie Hall Performance” and the second in 2011 for “Stark Raving Black.”

He’s filmed two HBO specials, “Black On Broadway” and “Red, White and Screwed,” the latter of which was nominated for an Emmy in 2007. His regular feature on two seasons of “Inside the NFL” earned him a sports Emmy for Outstanding Studio Show in 2005. In 2009, Lewis filmed his first feature length concert film, “Stark Raving Black,” at the Fillmore Theatre in Detroit.

Pretty good for a playwright. Yep, you read correctly, Black is a degreed, achieved and wanna-succeed playwright. Long before he ever thought about taking the stage as a stand-up comedian, Black fell in love with the theater as a child. This ultimately led to his studying drama at the University of North Carolina and earning a master’s from Yale Drama School.

Black eventually settled down in New York City and became the playwright-inresidence at the West Bank Café’s Downstairs Theatre Bar, where he oversaw the development of more than 1,000 plays, including works by “West Wing” creator Aaron Sorkin and “American Beauty” writer Alan Ball as well as his own original works. As the emcee for every show Black honed his skills as a stand-up and

8 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

eventually, as the popularity of his comedy grew in the ’80s, he left the West Bank to pursue stand-up full time.

Despite this focus on comedy, Black has penned more than 40 plays over the years, many of which have been produced around the country. “The Deal,” a dark comedy about business, was made into a short film in 1998 and picked up by the Sundance Channel. In 2005, Garry Marshall’s Falcon Theatre in Los Angeles produced “One Slight Hitch,” a play later produced in Tampa Bay in 2006 and more recently in Seattle this year. “ ‘One Slight Hitch’ is a romantic comedy that you’d never think was mine unless you read the credits,” said Black. “I wrote it more than 30 years ago in an attempt to become rich and famous as a writer. Most of my plays are dark, surreal comedies more in line with my personality on stage as a comedian.”

His views on politics and the general weirdness surrounding us fuel the content of both his plays and his stand-up material. Never further than arm’s reach of an opinion on current events, Black shared with me his views on two key newsmakers.

“I kind of like what the Tea Party and Occupy Movement are all about if I’m understanding their views correctly,” he said. “They need leadership. They need someone to say ‘here’s the deal.’ But they seem to be saying something I want to

hear. Actually they should be listening to Romney and Newt, because both have recent speeches that mimic some of the key points of both groups.”

On his predictions regarding the topsy-turvy Republican primaries, Black said, “I think Romney will take the Republican nomination because he may be the lesser of two Republican evils.

What kills me is that Newt actually has two women. I would rather imagine my parents having sex than Newt with any woman.”

Towards the end of the interview, I asked Black about his soft spot for the South.

“If I lived there all of the time I’d weigh 300 pounds,” he said. “It’s like, ‘Oh, I didn’t know you could put fat on top of fat and then drizzle sugar on it.’ But I do love barbecue, and that’s what I look forward to around the time I make it to Chattanooga.”

That’s good, because we’ll be looking forward to Lewis Black.

Lewis Black 8 p.m.

Friday, Feb. 24 Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. Tickets: $47.50-$75.50 (423) 757-5050 chattanoogaonstage.com

chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 9

LIST

THE CALENDAR FEB. 16-22

» pulse picks

Ladysmith Black Mombazo THUR 02.16 • Famed South African a cappella group stops at UTC. 7:30 p.m. • Roland Hayes Concert Hall • 725 Vine St. • (423) 425-4601 utc.edu/music

THUR02.16 MUSIC

Cloud Nothings • Hot indie rock act, next big thing.

9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

EVENT Break Out the Bubbly: Wine Tasting

» pulse pick OF THE LITTER

• Champagne—not just for New Year’s Eve. 6 p.m. • Back Inn Café 412 E. 2nd St. • (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com

Three Days of the Con

FRI02.17 MUSIC Machines Are People Too • Hot dream-pop sounds from a hot band.

10 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. • (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com

Just when guests and visitors to the Chattanooga Choo Choo figured it was safe to roam the lobby, gardens and campus of the property with more or less assurance they would not encounter aliens, superheroes or steampunks, along comes Con Nooga, hot on the heels of January’s annual Chattacon, also held at the complex.

EVENT “Dances in Raw States” • Audiences can ask questions about dances as they work out the kinks. See feature on Page 15.

7 p.m. • Barking Legs Theatre 1307 Dodds Ave. • (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

Fear not, Choo Choo visitors. The organizers and guests of Con Nooga come in (relative) peace and assure us that “safe” is an operational byword. In fact, the founders of Con Nooga, the multi-genre fandom festival now in its fifth year and growing fast, told The Pulse they created the con largely for that reason.

SAT02.18 MUSIC James McMurtry with Jonny Burke • American bard. See feature on Page 11.

9:30 p.m. • Rhythm & Brews • 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 • rhythm-brews.com

“We wanted to create a safe, familyoriented con that offered something like [Atlanta’s] Dragon Con offers to the many different types of fans in the region,” says co-founder Todd Patton.

The reference is a slightly veiled dart tossed at the older Chattacon, which is primarily a science fiction literary convention, but is also widely known as a “party con,” featuring a “con suite” where the beer flows freely. Con Nooga has no such suite, but private parties are allowed in rooms.

The differences between the two cons are larger and growing. In its first year, Con Nooga drew 1,000 attendees (the average draw of Chattacon, now in it’s 37th year) and has been growing at a rate of 20 to 25 percent each year, says Patton.

“We’ve hit hotel capacity and now we’re

EVENT Hunter Underground 2012 expanding into the convention center,” says Patton. Con Nooga will spill over next year into 36,000 feet of convention center space, and Patton says he’s working with the center to expand that space exponentially in the coming years.

This year’s Con Nooga features a strong lineup of gaming, talent, functions and events, along with the popular dealer booths and art shows (profiled recently in The Pulse). Unlike Chattacon, you won’t simply find guests dressed as characters from “Star Wars,” but rather a mix of characters that reflects Con Nooga’s diversity.

From the worlds of science fiction, mov-

10 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

ies, anime, fantasy, horror and the paranormal, Con Nooga, says co-founder Jeff Hickey, is all about the broad spectrum of fans who converge on the Choo Choo each year for the mini festival.

“As people tell us,” says Hickey, “go one year and you’ll see the difference.”

SUN02.19 MUSIC “Connect the Dots”

Live long and prosper.

— Bill Ramsey Con Nooga Feb. 17-19 Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. connooga.com

• “Smash & Grab” in the Hunter basement.

8 p.m. • Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View • (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

• Cool local music program with a degrees-ofseparation slant hosted by father and son team.

8:30 p.m. • WUTC 88.1-FM • wutc.org

EVENT Moccasin Bend Brewery Tour • Tour and taste at local brewery.

2 p.m. • Moccasin Bend Brewing Co. 4015 Tennessee Ave. • (423) 821-6392 bendbrewingbeer.com

Music

richard winham

America’s Beleaguered Bard

as singer-songwriter james mcmurtry sees it, he is selling the fantasy of the disgruntled third son who sees through the myth. It is the counter narrative to the one embedded in the Nashville version of life as it’s lived in 21st century America. He’s an outsider on the inside telling tales from the disheartened heartland. He’s also a hell of a guitar player with a great band to match.

He calls his songs “twisted fiction.” Like John Prine, his songs tell a story filled with small, telling details and a wry wit, but he never writes a lyric before first having a tune or at least a riff. Listening to him on the album recorded live in a club in Holland a couple of years back is like listening to Prine fronting a boozy Stonesfired, Crazy Horse-style rock ‘n’ roll band in full flight.

Every time I’ve talked to McMurtry he has had the heavy air of a man who can barely raise the energy needed to keep up his end of the conversation. But when he straps on his guitar, he comes alive.

You’ll hear what I mean if you listen to the beginning of “Live in Europe,” recorded in Amsterdam in 2009. An excited Dutch MC is shouting a garbled introduction while the band, oblivious to him and

impatient, is already playing their first song. McMurtry has no time for banter or small talk when what he has to say is so damned important.

And of course he’s right. He may seem rude at times and even a little abrasive, but it’s mostly just a front. He’s a turtle sheltering from the cruel winds inside his shell while looking in on the lives of the powerless, all trying to survive and doing all they can to hold onto their dreams. These are the people whose lives are limned in songs like “We Can’t Make It Here Anymore,” men

and women working “two jobs and livin’ in cars” in small towns way off the interstate where only those who live there ever go. These are the places McMurtry makes it a point to visit because … well, hell, somebody’s got to tell their story.

But don’t make the mistake of thinking that McMurtry is some hand-wringin’ dogooder come to make you feel guilty. First and foremost he’s a rock ‘n’ roll guitar player with a butt-kickin’, take-noprisoners band. Talking about his work in the notes to the album “St. Mary of the Woods” he said, “I grew up listening to music, not writing poetry.”

The words are very important, but the sound matters just as much. This is rock ‘n’ roll written and sung by a poet who can play as well as he can write.

The son of novelist Larry McMurtry, James grew up listening to Johnny Cash and Roy Acuff in his father’s Fort Worth home. His father gave him his first guitar when he was just 7 years old, but it was his mother, Jo Ballard Scott McMurtry, an English profes-

sor, who taught him to play it.

She introduced him to Kris Kristofferson and took him to a Kristofferson concert when he was 9 years old.

“I already had a guitar which I was serious about,” McMurtry told one interviewer. “But Kris was a songwriter. I’d never really wondered about where songs came from before.”

He was 25 before he completed his first song, but once he started he never stopped.

In short order, he had a contract and was making his first album, “Too Long In The Wasteland.” The title song about a guy undone by bad decisions is a gritty, Dylan-esque vision of one life in a blasted landscape where there “are bullet holes in the mailbox.”

McMurtry has been sharing these blunt narratives for more than 20 years now, so is it really any surprise that he often has the air of a man who has been disappointed by life? But when the drums kick in and he hits that first growling note on his guitar all of the frustration and hopelessness he’s felt is focused and yet forgotten.

When he was young he dreamed he and his mother could fly. These days on a good night we can all fly with him.

James McMurtry $15 • 9:30 p.m.

Saturday, Feb. 18 Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com

FRIDAY 2/17 BUCKNER BROTHERS BAND 9 pm

SATURDAY 2/18 THE MICKS 9 pm

SUNDAY 2/19 HAPPY HOUR ALL DAY! MONDAY 2/20 MICHAEL MCDADE 7 pm

TUESDAY 2/21 KARAOKE CONTEST $1000 GRAND PRIZE ★ WEEKLY PRIZES ★ WEEKLY QUALIFYING 8PM $2 SANGRIA

WEDNESDAY 2/22 TROY UNDERWOOD 7:30 pm

THURS THURSDAY 2/23 THURSDAY NIGHT FEVER with DJ BARRY DISCO-FOOD-DRINKS-PRIZES

7-11 pm

Richard Winham is the host and producer of WUTC-FM’s afternoon music program and has observed the Chattanooga music scene for more than 25 years. chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 11

Chattanooga Live Thursday • February 16 Cloud Nothings Future Virgins • Elk Milk Friday • February 17 Christabel and the Jons Ashely Hicks and the X’s Staggolee Saturday • February 18 Tony Levi’s Wedding • Rough Rope Loss • Shadow of the Destroyer Sunday • February 19 R. Ring (featuring Kelly Deal of The Breeders) Black Swans • Child Support Tuesday • February 21 Guilty Pleasures Dance Party Wednesday • February 22 Breaking Laces • Behold the Brave Tristen • Stephannie Nilles

901 Carter St (Inside Days Inn) 423-634-9191

Thursday, Feb. 16: 9pm Open Mic with Mark Holder

Friday, Feb. 17: 9pm Mark Holder

Saturday, Feb. 18: 9pm Dan Cowart

Tuesday, Feb. 21: 7pm Server Appreciation Night $5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

All shows are free with dinner or 2 drinks!

Stop by & check out our daily specials!

Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers

Facebook.com/theofficechatt

Cloud Nothings THUR 02.16 • Hot lo-fi indie rock out of Cleveland. Catch them before the explode.

9 p.m. • JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E. MLK Blvd.

Thur 02.16 Jeff Link 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Cloud Nothings, Future Virgins, Elk Milk 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Milele Roots with Montezuma Fire Machine 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Husky Burnette with the Scissormen 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com

Fri 02.17 The Fog 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Strung Like A Horse 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Power Players Show Band 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5840 Lake Resort Ter.

12 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

(423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.com Buckner Brothers 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Ben Friberg Trio featuring Greg Tardy 9:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Christabel and the Jons, Ashley Hicks and the X’s, Staggolee 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400 Machines are People Too with SoCro 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com Backwater Still 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Mark Holder 10 p.m.

Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996

tremonttavern.com Bounty Hunter 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

Sat 02.18 Strung Like A Horse 10 p.m.

Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996 tremonttavern.com Never Surrender 6:30 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730 southsidesaloonandbistro.com

Greg Tardy FRI 02.17 • Top sax joins Ben Friberg Trio.

9:30 p.m. • Market Street Tavern • 850 Market St.

Common Ground 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com Kofi Mawuko Benefit with Lumbar Five & OGYA 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Josh Gilbert CD Release Show with Kyle MacKillop 8 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 thecamphouse.com Tony Levi’s Wedding, Rough Rope, Loss, Shadow of the Destroyer 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Dan Cowart 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Verb 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St., (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com The Micks 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com James McMurtry with Jonny Burke 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com Fried Chicken Trio 10 p.m. T-Bones, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240 tboneschattanooga.com Bounty Hunter 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Road (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com

Sun 02.19 Molly Maguires 7 p.m. The Honest

Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com The Black Swans, R. Ring Featuring Kelly Deal, Child Support 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 Michael McDade 7 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com

Tue 02.21 Yellow Dubmarine 10 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com (423) 267-4644

Wed 02.22 Troy Underwood 7;30 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956 sugarsribs.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5840 Lake Resort Ter. (423) 870-0777 bartslakeshore.com Long Gone Darlings with the Rough & Tumble 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644 rhythm-brews.com Jason and the Punknecks 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com Breaking Laces, Behold the Brave, Tristen, Stephannie Nilles 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Between the Sleeves

ERNIE PAIK

Regular Gigs

Relax. Pay Attention! hearing poet robert pinsky speak last week in his soft, quiet voice at UTC, I was reminded that hushed sounds can have two effects on people: they either cause people to concentrate more, becoming attentive listeners, or they can lull people into a restful state. For the snoring audience member who was roused to consciousness by a helpful fellow, it was definitely the latter.

The new instrumental album “Stunden,” by Hans-Joachim Roedelius and Stefan Schneider, was created with one specific constraint: it should be quiet. Over the course of the album, both of the aforementioned effects are coaxed by this approach, with placid, soothing tracks moving at a steady pace and more abstract numbers with tiny sonic elements Roedelius lurking in the background.

Keyboardist Roedelius built his reputation as a founding Schneider member of the Krautrock-era Kosmische groups Cluster and “Stunden” Harmonia in the 1970s and as collaborator with Brian Eno. (Bureau B) Stefan Schneider is known as a member of the electronic German bands Kreidler and To Rococo Rot. “Stunden,” which means “hours” in German, has three title tracks that appropriately mark time in a studied, pensive manner, with repetition that suggests the hourly chimes of a clock tower. “Stunden I” uses additions such as low frequencies and soft buzzes to populate the empty spaces.

As the album unfurls, it gradually drifts away from the template that uses a piano melody accompanied by flourishes. “Liebe” (“love”) emanates artificial warmth with a cozy pulse, and the up-and-down synth patterns of “Zug” (“train”) evoke perpetual motion rather than some unstoppable machine. The album’s finest track is “Upper Slaughter,” with guitar accents and indescribable sonic fragments that are perhaps like a more organic kind of glitch-based electronica. “Stunden” is hardly revelatory but is subtle, tasteful and restrained; although largely free from foggy sound washes, it will likely appeal to fans of ambient music, falling under Brian Eno’s definition as being “as ignorable as it is interesting.”

Causing a Tiger • “How We Held Our Post” • (Twelve Cups) singer and violinist carla kihlstedt is one of those fascinating, often genre-defying artists with an outpouring of creativity in numerous projects, the most famous of which is Sleepytime Gorilla Museum, known for its complex and dark art-rock and incredible, theatrical shows. Her trio, Causing a Tiger, featuring percussionist (and husband) Matthias Bossi and multi-instrumentalist Shahzad Ismaily, is another uncategorizable outfit, an unusual intersection between avantpost-rock and lounge/cabaret music, with glimpses of musique concrète and electronic experimentation.

The group’s latest album, “How We Held Our Post” on Kihlstedt’s own label, is bookended by two enigmatic sound pieces, the first of which features the sound of high winds and foreboding, incessant squeaks. The closer is even more puzzling, featuring what sounds like someone running her hands through a box of marbles and broken shells and crinkling packing tape for 10 minutes. The meat of the album has two general methods: short, tight, twisty rock bursts and longer, wandering tracks.

Kihlstedt sings with a compelling, soulful voice and a style that’s not usually heard in the rock arena (Concrete Blonde vocalist Johnette Napolitano comes to mind).

Kihlstedt’s singing sounds like it’s been run through a slightly distorted guitar amplifier to dirty it up. The tracks “Not Ashamed to Ask” and “How to Stock and Maintain a Marine Aquarium” sound like the result of Tortoise hiring a lounge singer, with the rhythm section sporting an expansive, ambling approach. The former track dives headfirst into weird territory by eventually altering Kihlstedt’s vocals dramatically, using extreme electronic manipulation to turn them into gurgles.

The quick hits are potent, unpredictable blasts of sharp, off-center rock, like “Second Sight,” a seemingly improvised mix of fuzz bass and driving beats, with Kihlstedt singing incomprehensibly, bringing the proceedings to a satisfying apex. It is a strange, disorienting journey with a tightfisted sonic economy and a variety of approaches while maintaining a distinct sonic identity.

Nightly Specials Mon: 50¢ Wings • $3 Yazoo Tues: $1 Tacos • 1/2 Price Margaritas Wed: Wine Night + Live Jazz!

Thur: Burger & Beer Night Sat: $2 Domestics Noon to Midnight

Music Wednesdays Live Jazz with

The Ben Friberg Trio Thursday • Feb. 16 Songwriters Showcase

Jordan Hallquist

Jordan Hallquist hosts Songwriters Showcase on Thursdays at Market Street Tavern.

Thursdays Open Mic: Mark Holder 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191 Songwriters Showcase: Jordan Hallquist with Special Guests 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260, marketstreettavern.com

with Special Guests

Friday • Feb. 17 • 9:30pm Ben Friberg Trio featuring Greg Tardy Saturday • Feb. 18 • 10pm Verb 850 Market Street• 423.634.0260 Facebook.com/marketstreettavern

Fridays Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253 table2restaurant.com amilton.com

Saturdays

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com

Tuesdays Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

Wednesdays Ben Friberg Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260 marketstreettavern.com Open Mic Night 7 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Drive, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065 ringgoldacoustic.com

THE PULSE • SPRING 2012

SPECIAL SPRING WINE SECTION COMING MARCH 22 Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send live music listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com. chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 13

Arts Laura Linz: No Bridge Too Far Laura Linz photographed

by Lesha Patterson at AVA’s offices on Frazier Avenue.

By Rich Bailey

when laura linz doesn’t like someone, she’s pretty vocal about it. The new director of the Association for Visual Arts’ 4 Bridges Art Festival arrived in Chattanooga late last year, and she’s already formed a few impressions.

AVA’s new 4 Bridges director crosses new bridge with launch of HATCH. “I’ve noticed there are a lot of doers here,” she says. “There are people willing to take a step out and attempt to do what they’re talking about instead of just theorizing about how it might be if someone were to do that.

I hate the word ‘someone.’ If you’re going to put it out there, that someone is either you or you need to find that someone.”

“People tend to tell me repeatedly that I’m extremely high energy,” she adds. “I usually lose 10 pounds the week

14 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

of festival because I never stop moving. Some people see that as kind of a crazy tornado coming their way, but I have been very embraced here at AVA.” Linz is also impressed by Chattanooga’s art scene. Compared to Greenville, S.C., where she spent the last decade, she sees edgier art here.

“In Greenville there was sometimes pressure on artists and galleries to bring what patrons wanted,” she says. “I think Chattanooga is more about bringing what is going on and what is intriguing to the audience and letting audiences decide for themselves. I think you’d be hard pressed to find the range of art that’s here in many other places. You can find everything from very emerging artists to extremely high qual-

ity art. And it’s all accessible.”

Before coming to Chattanooga to lead 4 Bridges, Linz directed arts festivals in and around Greenville, worked with artists in galleries and consulted with arts nonprofits.

She joins 4 Bridges as its notoriety is rising fast. Last year the festival shot from No. 97 to No. 62 in the top 100 art festivals in the country. This year it was singled out for praise in a recent New York Times story, ranking Chattanooga one of the top 45 cities to visit in the world in 2012.

Linz is not making any major changes this year, but a few intentions are emerging.

She says she loves the Emerging Artist Scholarships that 4 Bridges grants to up to five less experienced artists and hopes to bring some of them back for a “where are they now?” gallery show.

She’s also working with the 4 Bridges jury to gradually include more artists in the festival. This year the number will increase from 150 to 170. As the word gets out among artists and the applicant pool grows, she sees the total increasing toward 200. But only if the quality stays high.

“We never want to pick quantity over quality, so we will slowly raise that number. And the jurors will always have the ability to stop at a lower number.”

This year, 650 artists applied (a small increase over last year), and the blind jury process was extremely competitive.

“It speaks to the quality of the applicants that the jurors had to look very closely,” she says. “Every year we bring in new jurors. They don’t know these artists. The person who has been in 4 Bridges five or six years in a row might not get in.”

This year is also the first time 4 Bridges is not just a standalone event but also serves as the opening anchor for the 10day HATCH Festival.

“The arts are always stronger when everyone is doing well and when everyone is helping each other,” she says. “It’s really astounding that something of this magnitude has been pulled together so quickly with so much support. If 4 Bridges’ notoriety can help be the kickoff and be the launch to bring attention to some other things that’s really great. If you can keep people engaged for 10 days, think how much further that will go during the year,” she adds.

Linz also seems to have one eye firmly on the economic impact of 4 Bridges, while keeping a bigger picture in sight.

“More than $1.5 million will be coming into Chattanooga from 4 Bridges, and those 170 artists will have a job,” she says.

At the same time, however, Linz struggles with the idea that art needs to be justified.

“If we could dispel the mystery that you have to think a certain way or be a certain way to understand art or to enjoy it, then the necessity of art would be so blatant that you wouldn’t have to sit there and say ‘it brings in 1.5 million dollars,’ ” she says. “People would understand the importance as just a given. They would know it just like they know they have to go to school to get an education.

To me it’s like eating, it’s life sustaining.”

Arts

Cracking Open Dance

By Janis Hashe

performing artists often tell those thinking of pursuing music, dance or theatre: “You’d better enjoy the process, because process is 90 percent of what we do.

Performance is 10 percent at most.”

Long hours in rehearsal studios, drafty schoolrooms, someone’s living room (or garage)—this is the unglamorous but real life of those serious about their art. But Ann Law, dancer/choreographer and co-founder of Barking Legs Theater, wanted to create a sort of in-between experience for both artists and audience. The idea was to take dances that were still in the process of being created, and “workshop” them in front of a live audience, who would then be invited to give their feedback.

The choreographers would benefit from honest comments that could then be used to continue to shape their pieces, and audience members would get a unique peek into the sometimes-mysterious process of making art.

The result of this brainstorm was “Dances in Raw States,” which Law launched last year at Barking Legs along with a number of dancers she had been working with for some time as part of the Chattanooga Dance Project.

The series returns Thursday and Friday, Feb. 16-17, and Law has put quite a lot of thinking into how to improve the communication between the two entities, artist and audience.

From the beginning, she says, she was interested in “What makes good work?

What makes good art? To help understand that, we came up with an evening that is a step

Ann Law, co-founder of Barking Legs Theater, launched Dances in Raw States last year to “workshop” dances in progress in front of a live audience.

This year, she’s seeking even more audience feedback. between the studio and the performance space.”

But last year’s “Raw States,” she notes, while fulfilling its goal of giving dances that are not quite ready for full-fledged performance a chance to work out, did not end up giving choreographers enough useful information from the audience.

“I had wanted to keep it very open,” she says of the feedback process. “But the comments ended up being too vague. The audience was just sharing what they already felt.

They weren’t stretching.”

To be helpful, the comments needed to go far beyond “I liked it,” she points out.

So this time around, she and the choreographers will

Photo • Lesha Patterson

begin asking more specific questions about the work.

The ideal result, she explains, would be twofold: Concrete help in identifying places in the dances that for whatever reason are not working, and, on the other side, helping to create an “articulate and sophisticated audience for new work.”

That audience still needs development in Chattanooga, Law says. Another program at Barking Legs, “Wide Open Floor,” is also designed to widen the range of performance in the city, and “allow performers who are not that visible to become more visible,” she says.

Without this audience sophistication, she agrees, the arts cannot grow to the next

level, because audiences aren’t familiar enough with the “languages” of the arts they’re viewing.

Law has said repeatedly that dance in the 21st century needs to stop relying on the techniques and visions of the past, and evolve into something that reaches audiences with immediate messages about now.

Those who’d like to be a part of that evolution can get on board at Barking Legs this Thursday and Friday.

“Dances in Raw States” $5 • 7 p.m.

Thursday & Friday, Feb. 16-17 Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5847 barkinglegs.org chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 15

Arts & Entertainment Thur 02.16 “A Sense of Place” exhibition opening reception 5:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Road (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Break Out the Bubbly: Sparkling Wine Tasting 6 p.m. Back Inn Café, 412 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033 bluffviewartdistrict.com “Dances In Raw States” 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Ladysmith Black Mombazo 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center Roland Hayes Hall, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4601 utc.edu/music “Actors’ Anonymous” 8 p.m.

Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org Preservation Hall Jazz Band 8 p.m.

Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org Janet Williams 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Mystery at the TV Talk Show” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

Fri 02.17 Con Nooga Chattanooga Choo

Choo, 1400 Market St. connooga.com Chattanooga Symphony “Out and About” 4 p.m. Collegedale Library, 9318 Apison Pike, Ooltewah (423) 396-9322 chattanoogasymphony.org “The Butler Did It ... Again” 6:30 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, 301 Rolling Way, Signal Mt. smph.org Seniors of the Sahara 7:30 p.m.

The Colonnade, 264 Catoosa Circle, Ringgold, Ga. (706) 935-9000 colonnadecenter.org.

Sweetheart Dance 6:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Zoo, 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattzoo.org.com “Dances In Raw States” 7 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Janet Williams 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Mystery of Flight 138” 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com “Seussical Jr.” 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “Actors’ Anonymous” 8 p.m.

Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org The Black Jacket

Arts Notes Symphony 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov Comedy: Davin Rosenblatt, Dave Stone 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com

Sat 02.18 Con Nooga Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. connooga.com Wine & Chocolate Open House Noon. Georgia Winery, 6469 Battlefield Pkwy.

(706) 937-WINE georgiawines.com “Seussical Jr.” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com New Voices Poetry Reading 6 p.m. Pasha Coffee House, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482 pashacoffeehouse.com “Mystery of the Nightmare High School Reunion” 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839 funnydinner.com Mardi Gras Chattanooga Noon. Coolidge Park mardigraschattanooga.com UnCANventional Ball 2012 7 p.m. Warehouse Row 1110 Market S. (423) 267-1111 warehouserow.net.

Chatti Gras 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Janet Williams 7:30 p.m. The

16 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Actors’ Anonymous” 8 p.m.

Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Hwy. Lookout Mountain, Ga. (888) 451-2683 ballettennessee.org “Smash & Grab” Hunter Underground 8 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944 huntermuseum.org Jeanne Robertson 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov

Sun 02.19 Con Nooga Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. connooga.com Formal Affair Bridal Expo 1 p.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Southern 6 Trail Race 1 p.m. Southern Adventist University Ackerman Auditorium, 4881 Taylor Cr. Collegedale (423) 236-2000 southern.edu Moccasin Bend Brewery Tour and Tasting 2 p.m. Moccasin Bend Brewing Company, 4015 Tennessee Ave. (423) 821-6392 bendbrewingbeer.com “Seussical Jr.” 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534 theatrecentre.com “Behind the Pulpit” 3 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 757-5050 chattanooga.gov Janet Williams

8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

Mon 02.20 Bourbon on Chestnut Gala 7 p.m. The Walden Club, 633 Chestnut St. (423) 756-6686 waldenclub.org Eleemosynary 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland (423) 614-8000 leeuniversity.edu Classical Monday’s & Southside Casual Classics 7:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081

Tue 02.21 Save Second Base Comedy Show 6 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Road (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “Chattanooga Chocolate Stories” from Storyteller Vincent Phipps 6:30 p.m. The Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 lib.chattanooga.gov

Wed 02.22 Main Street Farmers Market 2 p.m. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Folk School of Chattanooga Concert 6:30 p.m. The Camp House, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@ chattanoogapulse.com.

Hunter Underground 2012 • Each year the Hunter Underground offers great food, drinks, entertainment, a silent art auction and the ever-popular “Smash & Grab” at the Hunter Museum.

This year’s event takes place at 8 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 18. View works available in the silent auction and “Smash & Grab” gallery.

For a suggested donation, attendees can be entered in “Smash & Grab” drawings. If a player’s number is drawn, he or she will have 30 seconds to enter the “Smash & Grab” gallery and grab a work of art to take home.

It’s a fun way for participants to add works to their personal collections.

Players must be present to win. Attendees must be at least 21 years old.

Tickets are $40 per person (includes admission to the Hunter Underground party, food, beer and wine) or $60 per person (includes admission to the Hunter Underground party, food, beer, wine and one “Smash & Grab” ticket valued at $25) Additional tickets available for purchase at the event.

Visit huntermuseum.org for more information.

Northshore Community/Public Art project seeks applicants • Public Art Chattanooga and the Northshore Community Public Art Committee are seeking qualifications from artists or artist teams for the commission and installation of a permanent work of public art in the North Shore.

Up to five finalists will be selected to develop concept proposals for this project. Each will be paid a $500 proposal fee. The project budget for the selected commission is $30,000. The opportunity is open to all professional artists and artist teams over the age of 18 who currently reside in the United States.

All applications must be received by mail, hand delivery or electronically by 4 p.m. on March 2. The application can be downloaded at publicartchattanooga.com/about/callstoartists.htm.

Screen

JOHN DEVORE

Silent (Movie) Treatment everyone looks better in black and white. like cats landing on their feet or Republicans demanding tax cuts, the beauty of black and white film is a universal constant.

I don’t know why it isn’t used more, other than the fact that audiences demand films in color. Or to be more specific, audiences demand films that are tinted slightly orange or blue, depending on the emotion the filmmakers feel like subtly eliciting from unwitting audiences. Black and white films are the past; audiences are interested in the current and fresh.

It is unfortunate that the timelessness of old Hollywood is denied our present superstars.

The war between black and white or color films was lost long ago in the battle of Oz, and while Technicolor still sparkles on the screen, most of today’s run-of-the mill Hollywood films look like television shows on a giant screen.

Black and white is now a gimmick used for important subjects, like the Holocaust or the fate of independent contractors on the Death Star. If black and white is reserved for certain subjects, imagine how a silent black and white film might be received.

“The Artist” is an achievement in the adulation of film history, a decidedly deliberate break from the norm of filmmaking to glorify the glamour of pre-depression Hollywood and highlight the beauty of a different type of filmmaking.

For a film like this to be successful, it has to be done exceedingly well and be noticed by the right people. The Oscar nomination indicates success on both counts. It is a fun film to watch, if you are willing to make the effort to pay attention.

This story is not unlike “Sin-

honest music

gin’ in the Rain.” Silent film star George Valentin (Jean Dujardin) is on top of the world and at the height of his career.

He is the consummate performer who doesn’t subscribe to W.C. Fields’ philosophy of never working with animals, as his constant companion is a Jack Russell terrier with as much charm and class as any gentleman in the industry.

Everything he touches turns to gold, much to the delight of studio boss Al Zimmer (John Goodman). He even is able to bestow fame upon the common people, as an accidental encounter in front of press cameras leads to the slow rise of plucky young Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo) to a stardom that rivals his own.

Of course, “talkies” are just around the corner and Valentin is dismissive of the relevance of speaking actors in film. But

we know silent films have an expiration date and Valentin’s pride leads to his fall. The film is a romance, of course, so the fall is followed by redemption and happiness must be the end result.

Dujardin is rightfully nominated for Best Actor, as silent film requires a powerful performer to be convincing. But he is outshined by his co-star Bérénice Bejo, who is more delightful and beautiful than any woman has a right to be.

She embodies the stars of the era, absolutely shining in every scene, to the point where almost all of the other characters become vague gray shapes in the background. Fun surprises like John Goodman and James Cromwell are welcome, rounding out the cast with colorful people and wonderful performances.

This is a film I want to see

“The Artist”

at the Tivoli, with the score played live by the Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra. It should be an event, not a movie. I want to get dressed up to go the theater, sit with like-minded film enthusiasts, and feel like I’m part of a different crowd. What is so wonderful about this picture is the way that within the first 15 minutes the novelty of silent film disappears, leaving the audience alone to watch a real story unfold on screen.

The real question, I suppose, is whether “The Artist” will sweep the Academy Awards

with multiple wins. It may, but if I am honest, some of the other movies are better. “The Artist” is wonderful, but it’s limited in its ability to affect audiences emotionally. The performances are great, but the story isn’t especially original—and it’s played for humor and lighthearted fun. I prefer “Midnight in Paris” for Best Picture, however I admit my English degree might influence my opinion. I can say this with absolute certainty, however: There aren’t many movies that couldn’t be dramatically improved by a rousing tap number.

local and regional shows

Long Gone Darlings with Chris Milam ($3)

Wed, Feb 15

9pm

Milele Roots with Montezuma Fire Machine ($3)

Thu, Feb 16

9pm

Molly Maguires (Free Show!)

Sun, Feb 19

7pm

Jason and The Punknecks ($3)

Wed, Feb 22

9pm

RobosApien with Smooth Dialects ($3)

Thu, Feb 23

9pm

Live Irish Music following the Irish Session players every Sunday night FREE SHOWS start at 7pm

Full food menu serving lunch and dinner.

11am-2am, 7 days a week.

35 Patten Parkway * 423.468.4192 thehonestpint.com * Facebook.com/thehonestpint

chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 17

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MIKE MCJUNKIN

Mayberry, Middle East District at least a few times every summer my dad would convince me to take a break from the delinquent activities of my misspent youth to do a little fishing. Along the way we would inevitably end up stopping in some small country store to stock up on worms, Cokes and Town House peanut butter crackers. These stores usually had a little restaurant in the back where regulars would linger over plates of comfort food and bark friendly insults at each other while we laughed and paid for our day’s supplies.

When you travel around the country, or even just the rural areas around Chattanooga, it’s easy to think the tradition of the small country store is disappearing. While many small, family run markets and stores are dying in the shadows of the Bi-Marts and Mega-Los, the country store tradition is still alive, well and hiding in plain sight. Dozens of small, family-run ethnic markets around the city are carrying on the traditions we grew up with. Andy and Aunt Bee are there, too—they just may speak with a Polish or Arabic accent and offer you lamb and lavash instead of fried chicken and a biscuit.

International Market, formerly known as Family Food Mart and located next to Tuesday Morning in Eastgate Town Center, is a great example of how the traditions of the American country store are not unique to reruns of “Petticoat Junction,” but are found in almost every culture in the world.

International Market’s owner, Dana, seems to know everyone who comes in, and welcomes those she doesn’t with a big smile. I’ve been coming to this market for years, so she’s gotten to know what I like and will sometimes emerge from the back with a spoonful of something she says I “must try … you’ll love it.” And she is always right.

Recently she brought out homemade Polish borscht, which had a smoky, unctuous, sausage flavor that will make you cheat on poor Aunt Sally’s

18 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

“

Andy and Aunt Bee are there, too—they just may speak with a Polish or Arabic accent and offer you lamb and lavash instead of fried chicken and a biscuit. soup with this deep-red Eastern European beauty.

The front of the store is a well-stocked international market with a focus on Middle Eastern and Eastern European foods. I usually pick up some tahini, olives, dates, flatbreads, tea and Greek or Bulgarian feta cheese, but I always get some of the sausages and dried beef. (On

a side note: Never, ever eat one of those greasy tubes of questionable animal protein from Swiss Colony again. If the demo girl can talk you into parting with your hardearned cash with a smile and a pole-shaped log of questionable animal protein, I suggest you stay far away from adult establishments where the girls, poles and smiles are demonstrating much more expensive products.)

Make your way to the back of the market and you’ll find the archetype of the country store restaurant with a postmodern, multi-cultural twist.

Wooden tables with brightly patterned tablecloths, a vase of flowers on each and a menu of homemade, inexpensive, Middle Eastern and Eastern European food served in family style portions.

Sometimes I just stop in for a shawarma, which is like a Middle Eastern burrito filled with your choice of chicken, beef, or lamb, onions and

spices. If I’m a bit hungrier I’ll sit down for a plate of hummus, baba ghanoush, marinated feta, lavash or whatever meat is being served that day.

The last time I was there, Dana had made chicken maklouba, a dish made with rice, chicken, eggplant and Middle Eastern spices teeming with flavors that are familiar but are paired together in ways we don’t normally encounter in the South.

Before you leave, check out the case of fresh-baked sweets like kataifi (shredded phylo, pistachio’s, sugar and orange blossom syrup) baklava and halva (think peanut butter fudge, but with sesame or pistachio’s instead of peanuts). Or sample a lahmajun, a Turkish pizza-type dish with meat or cheese. If you are a coffee drinker get a shot of Turkish coffee while you’re there. They keep some brewed in the back.

That’s the wonderful surprise of visiting a store like International Market. It’s familiar in that it’s a friendly, down-to-earth store where you can hang out and linger over a plate of delicious food if you want. But it is also a treasure trove of ingredients and flavors that you would pay through the nose for at a chain store, if you could even find them.

I’m not sure if my dad would pick shawarma over Town House crackers, but I know whenever I’m in Brainerd with my sons we always make a point to stop in, grab some comfort food and chat with Dana. The only things missing are the insults and the bait.

Mike McJunkin is a local chef and foodie. Contact him at mike@chattanoogapulse. com.

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Free Will Astrology ARIES

(March 21-April 19): What do you typically do just before you fall asleep and right after you wake up? Those rituals are important for your mental health. Without exaggeration, you could say they are sacred times when you’re poised in the threshold between the two great dimensions of your life. I’ll ask you to give special care and attention to those transitions in the coming week. As much as possible, avoid watching TV or surfing the Internet right up to the moment you turn off the light, and don’t leap out of bed the instant an alarm clock detonates. The astrological omens suggest you are primed to receive special revelations, even ringing epiphanies, while in those in-between states.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20): Have you ever gazed into the eyes of goats? If you have, you know that their pupils are rectangular when dilated. This quirk allows them to have a field of vision that extends as far as 340 degrees, as opposed to humans’ puny 160-210 degrees. They can also see better at night than we can. Goats are your power animal in the coming week, Taurus. Metaphorically speaking, you will have an excellent chance to expand your breadth and depth of vision. Do you have any blind spots that need to be illuminated? Now’s the time to make that happen.

GEMINI

Where the Liquor is Cheap & the Entertainment is Free

(May 21-June 20): In the animated film “The Lion King,” two of the central characters are a talking meerkat named Timon and a talking warthog named Pumbaa.

Their actions are often heroic.

They help the star of the tale, Simba, rise to his rightful role as king. The human actors who provided the voices for Timon and Pumbaa, Nathan Lane and Ernie Sabella, originally auditioned for the lesser roles of hyenas. They set their sights too low. Fortunately fate conspired to give them more than what they asked for. Don’t start out as they did, Gemini. Aim high right from the beginning—not for the bit part or the minor role but rather for the catalyst who actually gets things done.

20 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): “He who is outside his door already has a hard part of his journey behind him,” says a Dutch proverb. Ancient Roman writer Marcus Terentius Varro articulated a similar idea: “The longest part of the journey is the passing of the gate.”

I hope these serve as words of encouragement for you, Cancerian. You’ve got a quest ahead of you. At its best, it will involve freewheeling exploration and unpredictable discoveries. If you can get started in a timely manner, you’ll set an excellent tone for the adventures. Don’t procrastinate.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): You’re so close to finding a fresh perspective that would allow you to outmaneuver an old torment, Leo. You’re on the verge of breaking through a wall of illusion that has sealed you off from some very interesting truths. In the hope of providing you with the last little push that will take you the rest of the way, I offer two related insights from creativity specialist Roger von Oech: 1. If you get too fixated on solving a certain problem, you may fail to notice a new opportunity that arises outside the context of that problem. 2.

If you intensify your focus by looking twice as hard at a situation that’s right in front of you, you will be less likely to see a good idea that’s right behind you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Thirty-two carrier pigeons were awarded medals by the United Kingdom for their meritorious service in the World Wars. Of course, they probably would have preferred sunflower seeds and peanuts as their prize. Let that lesson guide you as you bestow blessings on the people and animals that have done so much for you, Virgo. Give them goodies they would actually love to receive, not meaningless gold stars or abstract accolades. It’s time to honor and reward your supporters with practical actions that suit them well.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): The caterpillar-to-butterfly transformation is such an iconic

symbol of metamorphosis that it has become a cliche. And yet I’d like to point out that when the graceful winged creature emerges from its chrysalis, it never grows any further. We human beings, on the other hand, are asked to be in a lifelong state of metamorphosis, continually adjusting and shifting to meet our changing circumstances. I’ll go so far as to say that having a readiness to be in continual transformation is one of the most beautiful qualities a person can have. Are you interested in cultivating more of that capacity, Libra? Now would be an excellent time to do so. Remember that line by Bob Dylan: “He who is not busy being born is busy dying.”

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): This would be an excellent time to round up a slew of new role models. In my astrological opinion, you need to feel far more than your usual levels of admiration for exceptional human beings. You’re in a phase when you could derive tremendous inspiration by closely observing masters and virtuosos and pros who are doing what you would like to do. For that matter, your mental and spiritual health would be profoundly enhanced by studying anyone who has found what he or she was born to do and is doing it with liberated flair.

SAGITTARIUS

(Nov. 22-Dec. 21): WD-40 is a spray product that prevents corrosion, loosens stuck hinges, removes hard-to-get-at dirt, and has several other uses. Its inventor, Norm Larsen, tried 39 different formulas before finding the precisely right combination of ingredients on his fortieth attempt. The way I understand your life right now, Sagittarius, is that you are like Larsen when he was working with version number 37. You’re getting closer to creating a viable method for achieving your next success. That’s why I urge you to be patient and determined as you continue to tinker and experiment. Don’t keep trying the same formula that didn’t quite work before. Open your mind to the possibility that you have not yet discovered at

least one of the integral components.

CAPRICORN

(Dec. 22Jan. 19): A person who emits a huge angry shout produces just .001 watt of energy. Even if he or she yelled continuously 24/7, it would still take a year and nine months to produce enough energy to heat a cup of coffee.

That’s one way to metaphorically illustrate my bigger point, which is that making a dramatic show of emotional agitation may feel powerful but is often a sign of weakness. Please take this to heart in the coming week, Capricorn. If you do fall prey to a frothy eruption of tumultuous feelings, use all of your considerable willpower to maintain your poise. Better yet, abort the tumult before it detonates. This is one time when repressing negative feelings will be healthy, wealthy, and wise.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb.

18): Jeep vehicles always feature seven slots on their front grills. Why? For the manufacturer, it’s a symbolic statement proclaiming the fact that Jeep was the first vehicle driven on all seven continents. Let’s take that as your cue, Aquarius. Your assignment is to pick an accomplishment you’re really proud of and turn it into an emblem, image, glyph, or talisman that you can wear or express. If nothing else, draw it on dusty car windows, write it on bathroom walls, or add it to a Facebook status update. The key thing is that you use a public forum to celebrate yourself for a significant success, even if it’s in a modest or mysterious way.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A sign outside the Apostolic Bible Church in Bathurst, New Brunswick invited worshipers to meditate on a conundrum: “Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?” After all, if the builder of the Ark had refused to help the pesky insects survive the flood, we’d be free of their torment today. (Or so the allegorical argument goes.)

Please apply this lesson to a situation in your own sphere, Pisces. As you journey to your new world, leave the vexatious elements behind.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“So They Say...”—it goes something like this.

Across

1. Taco Bell entree 8. Ewe-nique noise?

11. Orch. section 14. Auto shop cloth 15. Fond du ___ (city in 25-down) 16. Tea, in French 17. The Pequod, for one 19. Hoover opponent’s monogram 20. Put on a ship 21. “See ya,” in Sorrento 22. “Scarborough Fair” herb 24. Pen 25. Phrase heard close to dinnertime 27. Life’s work?

28. Major London insurer 29. Globe trekker’s book 32. “Snug as ___...”

34. “The Cask of Amontillado” author 36. Motto for the four long across answers 40. Lucy of “Charlie’s Angels” 41. Ultrafast Usain 42. Unable to sit still 43. Shredding tool 46. Org. central to a 1999 Seattle protest

47. It can follow “Party people in the house!”

50. Mad scientist’s haunt 53. One way to be taken 54. Lecherous look 55. Marquis de ___ 56. Understood 57. Grape that makes a golden-hued dessert wine 60. It may be more than enough 61. Dance co. once directed by Baryshnikov 62. Fluffy cleaning tools 63. The Legend of Zelda console, for short 64. Boxer Jones, Jr. 65. Bobby Fischer opponent Boris ___

DOWN

1. Monastery cover-ups 2. Drum kit component 3. “You’re once, twice, three times ___” 4. Lovett with a “Large Band” 5. Mentalist Geller 6. Mexican revolutionary ___ Villa

7. Texas A&M student 8. Urge to kill 9. Small battery size 10. When Jud dies in “Oklahoma!”

11. Decided not to move 12. Secretive organization 13. Stopwatch button 18. Cessation 23. “___! Wait! I got a new complaint...”

(Nirvana lyric) 25. Madison’s st.

26. Olympian Korbut 27. Corked item, perhaps 29. Tool used for handpunching belt loops 30. Longest of its kind in the human body 31. Nobel Prize winners 32. Absence of guiding principles 33. ___ Paese (cheese) 35. Ice cream maker Joseph

37. Follow instructions 38. “Round and Round” hair metal band 39. Lennon’s “bed-in” mate 44. Storyline shape 45. Sci-fi series written

by William Shatner 46. Get ready for exercise 47. Toy with a long handle 48. Disappoint, with “down” 49. English university city 50. They can get tangled up 51. “It was ___ and stormy night...”

52. Heavenly woman?

55. Very fast flyers, for short 58. “Boardwalk Empire” network 59. Olympics chant

Jonesin’ Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2012 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call.

Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0559. chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 21

Life in the Noog

chuck crowder

You Might Be A Meth Offender If ... the recent closing of erlanger’s burn unit has some worried about the fate of victims with burns covering more than 20 percent of their bodies, who would now be shuttled to Nashville or Augusta for treatment. One brotherhood that’s been very vocal about the news are local firefighters, who deal with the prospect of getting burned with every call of the alarm (except for routine trips to Patten Towers, of course).

Even though Erlanger says the problem lies in finding a replacement for a departed burn unit director and the closing was not related to financial losses, some are speculating (and rightly so) that many who sought treatment there in the past may have been up to no good at the time of their injuries—and more importantly, had no insurance.

Yes my friends, I’m talking about those who were the victims of meth lab explosions.

You see, when something goes wrong in the kitchen where meth is being cooked, it burns the shit out of whoever is within range of the two-liter bottle’s spray. And when those nuts go to the hospital to try and save their sorry asses—and sadly the children and other innocent victims around them—they bring to the burn unit the same contaminants that go into the production of this dreadful drug.

A meth lab explosion also has

the power to render the space where the lab was located useless to any other inhabitants until the structure is stripped down to the studs by toxic waste specialists and rebuilt. Even then, I wouldn’t be the first one to lay my head down in a place where, or near, such activities have occurred.

Therefore I am proposing that those who are caught and found guilty of producing meth, purchasing the combination of necessary ingredients to do so, or even using meth should have to register as a meth offender upon their release. And maybe, just maybe we could identify them prior to legal action.

22 • The Pulse • FEBRUARY 16-22, 2012 • chattanoogapulse.com

Here are some of my proposed criteria for preemptive identification of potential meth offenders, Jeff Foxworthy-style: • If you’ve ever bought enough Sudafed to keep a small army congestion-free—you might be a meth offender.

• If your trailer doesn’t have wheels because you sold them to buy fertilizer—you might be a meth offender.

• If you live in a motel room with a distinctive funny smell— you might be a meth offender.

• If you’ve ever had a two-liter bottle explode without combining Diet Coke and Mentos—you might be a meth offender.

• If you have persistent “sunburn” that won’t heal—you might be a meth offender.

• If you can count your teeth on one hand—you might be a meth offender. And the list goes on.

Once identified, the fact that you are a card-carrying meth offender might limit your options in the future. Think about it. If one is convicted of a sex crime, they must register as a sex offender and tell whoever lives or works anywhere around them that they’ve had the fortitude in the past, and might again in the future, to do something inappropriate with their privates.

It’s the proverbial scarlet “A,” or “S.O.” in this case, and it’s

“

If making and selling meth is so easy and profitable, are these people really just doing it until that killer job at Komatsu opens up? No, they’ve made a conscious decision to buck society, take the easy way out and endanger everyone in their path. meant to not only protect those they come into contact with, but also deter anyone who might be sick enough to think about violating someone in a sexual manner. In addition to the shame factor, think about living in our society with a scar on your record that makes it difficult to find friends, employment, housing and effective cold medicine?

I know, I know. If we limit the options a convicted meth head has for getting out of that rut then they’ll just go back to doing the only thing they know best—makin’ meth. But if making and selling meth is so easy and profitable, are these people really just doing it until that killer job at Komatsu opens up?

No, they’ve made a conscious decision to buck society, take the easy way out and endanger everyone in their path.

I realize this proposition might have me looking over my shoulder for the next week or so until the next Pulse is published, but I’m pretty sick and tired of footing the bill for those who make stupid, dangerous decisions that in turn affect our society and, quite frankly, perpetuate our reputation in other parts of the world as shoeless hillbillies. It’s time for a change people—and I’ll vote for whoever is willing to take on this matter (except for Chuck Fleischmann—sorry, dude).

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact and crap he hears people talking about.

Take what you read with a grain of salt, but let it pepper your thoughts.

1,000 Words A WRITER’S JOURNAL

Resplendent: A Southerner’s Repose

By Brook Evans people never get over the south. visitors to this mystical gathering of states come and go and some of them stay. Some people from other lands endure us. Others exploit us. Still others enjoy us.

What brings so many people here to this vast warm wonderland? Some may want to escape brutal winters or expensive economies. Some stop here just to find work. Many create families and get distinctive in-laws at the same time. Folks arrive in the South for many reasons. When they get here, are they are expecting our matchless splendor?

Can anyone anticipate our four seasons with long, hot summers; blazing, brilliant autumns; chilly, cozy winters and dogwood springs scented with fresh-mown grass and deep red roses cascading down the fences?

Have they ever visited Alabama with its sweet lyrical name, the heart of Dixie where stars fell down to kiss the ground? To this day, I remember our big old farm house in Deatsville with the huge oak tree (really) out front, the one where Dad hung a thick rope and attached a tire so we could swing.

I swung in that swing and kicked the dirt with my foot just like Scout in “To Kill a Mockingbird.”

Sometimes I’d push my little brother David in the swing when he was four years old.

He followed along while we threw rocks down from the hayloft or went out in winter to watch vapor rise from cow patties. One time a bull chased my brothers and David cut his leg on barbed wire trying to get away. During the school year we waited at the bottom of the red dirt driveway for the bus. In hot weather, my brothers didn’t wear shoes. Once, our black-and-white English setter, Duchess, chased the bus like a scene from a Disney movie. We went to school where they served chocolate milk or orangeade in little waxy cartons and angelic rolls made of light.

We didn’t live out in the country that long.

Mostly we lived in cities, but always in the South, where we grilled out; caught honeybees and lightning bugs in jars; played hide and seek; threw dirt clods; ate fried fish and fowl; played beauty queen; watched football and baseball; joined the Girl

Scouts and the Boy Scouts and, naturally, went to church—including Vacation Bible School with Popsicle-stick crafts, Kool-Aid and sugar cookies.

Along with air conditioning.

The South can leave you speechless. The South cannot be explained. It can only be fully enjoyed or marveled about or maybe even hated. The South embeds itself in your heart.

Our mother and grandmothers made biscuits and cornbread and crispy fried chicken and pork chops. I can make pretty good cornbread and pork chops, but not the same golden-brown chicken or biscuits. I don’t have the touch.

People in the South play outside a lot and do things some folks have never heard about—like noodling, which is wading around in muddy water and catching huge catfish with your bare hands.

And I don’t know if deer hunters everywhere else rub blood on their faces when they kill their first deer, but some hunters in the South do just that.

They will also cut your shirttail off the first time you miss a sure shot.

Southern ladies and gentlemen will just about kill you for their families and friends, but they’ll also choke up or cry over a graduation ceremony or Old Glory; a war veteran or a nervous child at a piano recital; a horse breaking free or maybe a magnificent tree cut down before its time.

Southerners sometimes feel one with nature and maybe with God. We fish and bicycle and run barefoot on beaches and ride inner tubes down whitewater rapids. We dress up for church and proms and dress down for chili suppers and pancake breakfasts. We ride motorcycles and play

golf nearly year-round. We like coffee and sweet tea and bacon and butter. We probably live better and die sooner than just about anybody, but who knows for sure.

Generally speaking, a true Southerner will try to make your acquaintance. I saw a woman the other day passing through here from Michigan. I asked her how she liked the South. She said, “You are good at being fake nice.”

“Fake nice is better than real mean,” I answered.

She didn’t know what to say and left for the ladies room in a few minutes.

The South can leave you speechless. The South cannot be explained. It can only be fully enjoyed or marveled about or maybe even hated. The South embeds itself in your heart.

Wherever you go, even if it’s all the way across oceans and years, you will always feel the magnetic pull of a swaying willow tree; the melodious sound of a clear stream over flat rocks; the shiver of water so cold it chills watermelons; the reflection of a silvery pond where you saw one elegant black swan gliding past; the trashy, colorful flash of a beach city; the Spanish moss hanging solemnly from a Savannah tree; the smoky or tangy taste of slowcooked barbecue; the perfect brown and white rows of cotton bolls; the greenish-blue shimmer of giant lakes and nearly always, the trusting hello, the firm handshake or the gentle hug of a stranger trying to be your friend in less than a minute.

Minutes pile up. For many minutes, some of my Northern and Western strangers and friends share the almost unspeakable passion of this exciting, inviting, almost-holy land where God lingered a little longer.

There’s something special and different about the South called the Spirit of the South.

The South’s fragile force invites you; betrays you; puzzles you; repels you and enthralls you. Sometimes she disappoints you or loves you to death.

But she won’t often let you forget. The South will stay in your mind like a shadow behind a door, or like the grace of a breeze at the very edge of a summer night.

Brook Evans is a writer living in Cleveland, Tenn. Visit her website at whitehothair.com.

“1,000 Words: A Writer’s Journal” is an occasional feature showcasing essays, stories and anecdotes about Chattanooga, the South and our world.

To be considered for publication, submit 1,000 words or less to info@chattanoogapulse.com. Use “1,000 Words Submission” as the subject of your email.

chattanoogapulse.com • february 16-22, 2012 • The Pulse • 23