The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 28

FREE • NEWS, VIEWS, MUSIC, FILM, ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • JULY 14, 2011 • VOLUME 8, ISSUE 28 • WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Nightfall 2011 - Friday Night!

Black Lillies

JULY

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2011

ontents C

VOLUME 8, ISSUE 28 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Want to watch a video of this week's Nightfall headliner? Download the FREE "QR Reader" on your smartphone and scan this code.

“Just to be clear, I’m not advocating living without electricity, only that we produce it with environmentally clean, safe sources.”

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— Sandra Kurz, on alternative ways to meet our power demands.

“Just as many naysayers referred to the idea of the Tennessee Aquarium as ‘Jack Lupton’s fish tank,’ many scoffed at the idea of redeveloping Main Street and the Southside.”

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— Janis Hashe on the visionary work of many on the Southside.

“Visual and spoken-word artist Bryan Lewis Saunders, from Johnson City, Tenn., is known for his visceral, brutally frank and often disturbing outpourings, of which there seems to be an endless supply.”

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— Music reviewer Ernie Paik on Lewis' new album, Stream of Unconscious Volume 2.

“In Boston everything is ‘wicked cool.’ In New York, something demanding great respect is ‘sick.’ In Chicago, things are boss’ and in L.A. you might refer to your prized possessions as being ‘dope.’”

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— Chuck Crowder on the varieties of regional expressions.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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NEWS Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor / Layout Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Jaye Brewer, Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Leanne Strickland Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Photography / Videography Josh Lang Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Chuck Crowder, Michael Crumb John DeVore, Janis Hashe Matt Jones, Sandra Kurtz Louis Lee, Kelly Lockhart Ernie Paik, Alex Teach Tara V, Jean Paul Vaudreuil Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Editorial Interns Lauren Haynes, Crystal Kishimoto Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

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Pulse Beats

“They must remember that it is an empty wagon that makes the most noise.”

Health Dept. Launches New Water Safety Campaign

— Tennessee State Representative JoAnn Favors, speaking out about what she sees as an undue influence on several county school board members by school board member Rhonda Thurman. .

Summer is officially here and many families are flocking to the pool, the lake, and the beach.

The Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department, in partnership with Safe Kids, led by Children’s Hospital at Erlanger, reminds parents and caregivers that children can drown quietly and within seconds. The Health Department’s new Water Safety poster campaign aims to reinforce important safety practices for parents and caregivers.

According to Safe Kids USA, drowning deaths among children increase 89 percent between May and August.

“For children ages 1 to 4 years old, the most common place to drown is in their family swimming pool,” said Carleena Angwin, health educator at the Chattanooga-Hamilton County Health Department. “Our partners at Children’s Hospital at Erlanger have already documented eight near-drowning cases in the region, three of which resulted in a child’s death,” Angwin added.

The Health Department posters feature four vibrant designs and messages: • Stay close enough to reach me. If you are supervising a young child, be close enough to reach them.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

• Don’t forget my life jacket.

• Swimming lessons: provide the gift that will last a lifetime.

• Do you know CPR? Seconds count, become CPR certified.

The posters will be displayed at Chester Frost Park and near other bodies of water in Hamilton County, and at all of the City of Chattanooga’s 16 community recreation centers. The posters are available in PDF format for private organizations and individuals to download at the health.hamiltontn. org website.

“We appreciate our community partners working with us to promote this message. There is no such thing as too many reminders when it comes to children’s water safety. A national study of drowning-related incidents found that parents or caregivers said they were supervising the child in nearly 9 out of 10 child drowning related deaths,” said Angwin.

“It’s also important to remember that neardrowning cases have high fatality rates; nearly 15 percent of children admitted for near drowning die in the hospital. If they survive, they can suffer severe neurological disability, that’s why this message is so important,” she added.

News Briefs • Hamilton County fared well as the latest Tennessee Comprehensive Assessment Test scores were released by Governor Bill Haslam this past Friday. In fact, all area school systems showed improvement over last year, with one exception. The Cleveland City School system showed declines in math, social studies, science, and reading tests. On the positive side, Bradley, Hamilton, Meigs, Rhea and Sequatchie County systems all showed measurable progress.

• Officials in Catoosa County are surprised—but pleased—at their sales tax receipts. Thinking tax earnings would be low because so many businesses were destroyed during the April tornadoes, they were shocked to find figures for the second quarter actually rose by six percent. County Manager Mike Helton thinks it may be locals determined to buy local, boosting sales. Last week, the first business on Alabama Highway to rebuild opened its doors. The Taco Bell is now open for business.

NEWS

Opinion

Unions and Volkswagen I would send [the United Auto Workers] back to Detroit. What’s left of it, that is.

The unions have just about broken every other car maker. Union labor makes cars cost more, and they just keep wanting more and more till finally they break the company’s back. Take your UAW back up to St. Louis and Detroit, we don’t need them here. We are honored that Volkswagen has chosen a Southern city to build [their plant]. So take all your lies and empty promises home with you, UAW. Gilbert Tonka Ready For Retirement Alex, I’ve read several of your columns and must admit you got this one right [On The Beat, “End of the Road”]. Kudos.

Oh yeah, and hugs—if your head isn’t big enough already, rookie.

Kim Miller Bark For Life The American Cancer Society Bark For Life is a special event for dogs and their human companions. Bark For Life, held

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

Sunday, July 24 from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the First Tennessee Pavilion, honors the care-giving qualities of our canine “best friends” and includes a one-mile walk and special activities and contests for dogs and their human companions. You and your dog(s) are invited to form a Bark For Life companion team. To register and/or

volunteer for Bark For Life, please visit www.relayforlife.org/barkchattanooga.

Christy Johnson Illegal Animal Research at UTC Live animals are unlawfully mutilated and killed in the college of medicine curriculum at the University of Tennessee in Chattanooga, according to a state legal complaint filed July 7. The complaint calls on the district attorney general to halt the school’s live animal lab because it violates Tennessee’s animal cruelty law, which does not exempt medical training.

UTC’s College of Medicine is one of the last institutions in the country using animals in such classes. Students are required to perform surgical procedures on live, anesthetized pigs. After the training session, the animals are killed.

The Chattanooga surgery clerkship is the only remaining medical student course in the University of Tennessee system using animals—neither the Memphis nor Knoxville campus uses live animals for training. This needs to stop, and stop now.

Tara Fairley www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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NEWS

Politics & Crime A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, July 19 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

9. Departmental Reports: a) Department of Human Services b) Department of Parks and Recreation c) Department of Public Works d) Department of Neighborhood Services e) Department of Education, Arts & Culture f) Fire Department g) Police Department h) Department of Personnel i) Department of Finance and Administration j) City Attorney

Each week at the city council meeting, the heads of each department have the opportunity to address the council on any needs or requests. But there’s more than that— the heads of the departments are also there to address citizen concerns directly.

So if you have an idea, suggestion or complaint about something covered by one of the above departments, this is a perfect opportunity to direct it to the top person.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

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• There are people who are stupid, there are people who are ignorant—and then there are these three Rhodes scholars. Police made three arrests early Saturday morning in East Lake Courts after getting calls about three young white men driving around in a pickup truck, throwing fireworks at black residents and yelling racial slurs. In one case, a window was broken to a bedroom where a woman and her child were sleeping. Two 21 year olds and a 27 year old were taken into custody a short time after leaving the housing development and charged with civil-rights violations. All three admitted they were targeting black residents.

One of them was employed by Emergency Medical Services, though he has since resigned after being suspended without pay and then questioned about the incident.

• How many times do people need to be told that they might be able to outrun a police cruiser, but no one can outrun a radio?

Early Saturday morning around 2:40 a.m., East Ridge officers observed a suspicious dark-colored pickup truck and, after a computer check, found the registration did not match the vehicle. Officers tried to

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

pull the truck over, but the driver refused to stop. After a chase by officers from both East Ridge and Chattanooga, the driver was apprehended near the state line following a brief foot chase. The truck turned out to be stolen, which is a bad enough criminal charge, but now the driver faces a multitude of other charges including felony evading arrest, felony reckless endangerment, and driving on a revoked driver’s license.

• In Hollywood prison escape movies, the inmate is always someone who’s looking at the very least decades of hard time, if not a life sentence. But who escapes from prison with only six months left to serve? Yet that is exactly what one Dade County inmate did when he walked away from a work detail. Sheriff Patrick Cannon says the 36-year-old inmate was working as a trustee when he simply walked away from his job detail. The inmate is not considered a violent offender, but authorities say he’ll be rather hard to track down as he has connections all over the tri-state area. Even so, they are confident he’ll be caught soon, and

once he is brought back into custody, he’ll be facing additional years to his sentence because of his ill-timed walkabout.

• Quitting smoking is very difficult, but the health benefits are well worth the effort. It also might make a marked difference in your pocketbook, not just from the annual savings of not paying for the habit, but also from not being taken in by an offer that was obviously too good to be true. A man called police and said another man had called his sister’s phone saying he was selling cartons of cigarettes at $10 each. Eager to make a deal, he picked the man up and after driving him to Mitchell Avenue, he handed him $50 for five cartons. The man got out of the truck, telling the man he would be right back—and then never returned. The jilted smoker then drove around and spotted the man behind an abandoned building, but the man ran off before he could stop him. Complicating matters for officers, the man said he had no idea who the man was, including his name or even how he got his sister’s phone number.

OPINION

Beyond The Headlines

Five Things You Didn’t Know About Bicyclists

By Jean Paul Vaudreuil, Pulse Contributing Writer

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s Chattanooga seeks to become a more bikefriendly city, the presence of cyclists is increasing. To a non-rider we may seem an odd bunch—we sport black spandex shorts, garishly bright jerseys, and helmets that resemble sculpted bowling balls. We ride in the bonechilling days of winter, the road-melting heat of summer and through torrential downpours. So yes, we’re kind of nuts. But here are five aspects of cyclists that you probably didn’t know.

Many of us shave our legs, although the reasons for it are murky. Initially, early European racers who tackled epic 150-plus mile stages in the Tour d’ France and Giro d’Italia wanted their legs razed so the team masseuse could provide a cleaner, more effective post-race massage, and rubbing oil or lotion onto wooly legs was kind of icky.

As with any sport, acolytes are adept at monkey-see monkey-do, and before long amateur cyclists adopted the practice. Thus a “tradition” was born.

Today we rationalize that a silky leg is more aerodynamic. In truth, unless your body hair could arouse a wookie, the difference is miniscule.

Others insist that a smooth leg is easier to treat in the event of road rash. But since arms usually get just as scraped, why don’t we shave them?

(Answer: it raises the creep factor considerably).

“He won’t say much but know this: by the ride’s end, he will deliver your and most everyone else’s fanny on a silver platter.

Fear him.”

There’s an area on our bodies known as the “taint.” It’s an area prone to soreness and irritation when riding long miles in the saddle. Legend has it the term comes from the phrase, “It tain’t your privates and it tain’t your butt, it’s the place in between.” To avoid rash and pain, bikers apply a balm or lotion. I’m telling you this in case you see a cyclist apply a gelatinous blob onto their fingertips and shovel it down the front of their shorts; mucking about as if taking inventory or searching for loose change.

Don’t be alarmed; it’s a perfectly normal routine and nothing sexual or perverted is happening—unless of course they ask for your help.

We can’t hear the expletives. When a person shouts at us from a passing truck we can’t understand a single word. What they believe to be a highly original and witty remark (get off the #@$% road!) is rendered indecipherable by the Doppler affect and wind noise. I try to give a friendly wave in return, although at times not all my fingers are up to the task.

Every group has its fringe element and biking is no exception. On any given organized ride you’ll find a rider

who shows up in a beat-up Schwinn. The chain will be squeaky, the fender wobbly and, if you’re lucky, there might a Totohauling basket on the front.

The rider will invariably be a man who sports a prodigious mountain-man beard, wears faded jean cutoffs, a white T-shirt, and tennis shoes. He won’t say much but know this: by the ride’s end, he will deliver your and most everyone else’s fanny on a silver platter. Fear him.

Perhaps the most surprising things about cyclists is… we’re just like you. We have families, jobs, mortgages— heck, even we hate getting stuck driving behind a cyclist. Some of us ride to improve our health, others to keep sane. In fact, the only difference between you and us is that we’ve never let go of the exhilarating freedom that comes from cycling. Think back to your first experiences with two-wheeled liberation. Remember the unbridled joy and the sheer thrill of racing neighborhood kids? You may have to go back years to resurrect those memories; we need only recall last weekend. So dust off that bike in the garage and join us. You never forgot how to ride—you just forgot how much fun it is.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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Chattanooga Street Scenes

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Photography by Kelly Lockhart

The bane of downtown existence...the everpresent parking meter.

OPINION

Shades Of Green

It’s Pretty Easy Being Green I

n the April column, “The Fukushima Warning”, I cautioned against thinking that a nuclear accident couldn’t happen here and spoke of ongoing impacts with or without a meltdown. In a follow-up letter to the editor, Jerry Bednarczyk complained that I offered no solutions as to how we keep badly needed electricity flowing without nuclear plants. He’s sure I don’t like coal or oil and that I wouldn’t like a windmill tower in my neighborhood. At least for windmills, that’s not true.

I consider windmills beautiful kinetic sculpture with soothing, soft noise. Windmills represent a green and growing industry in Tennessee and they don’t give off radiation. I’d be pleased to have one near me. By the way, Jerry, I have a solar panel for my computer.

Just to be clear, I’m not advocating living without electricity, only that we produce it with environmentally clean, safe sources. Still, Jerry, you ask a fair question: How can we keep lights (and everything else) on without nuclear power?

Space is limited here to fully answer, but several recent studies and books outline ways to meet electricity demand without nuclear—and without coal either. One free downloadable book, Carbon Free & Nuclear Free: A Roadmap for U.S. Energy Policy, is available at www.ieer.org/carbonfree/index.html.

Shifting energy sources requires mindset changes and time. Before demanding more electricity, reduce use. Energy efficiency is key. In fact, according to the American Council for and Energy-Efficient Economy, about three-quarters of increased energy services has already been met through efficiency since 1970.

TVA now generates 20 percent of our electricity from nuclear power. What if we all reduced our electricity needs by that amount through efficiency?

Tennesseans use the most electricity per residence in the nation, so there’s low-hanging fruit.

Help is on the way.

EPB is currently incorporating Smart Grid metering. Once the system is fully deployed, you take control of your power usage. Log on to your account through your TV remote and check your electricity use whenever. With your permission, EPB can cycle your power-sucking appliances on and off. A pilot program was conducted recently and participants showed a 20 percent reduction in energy use although they were unaware that cycling had occurred.

Change is hard. Record your present electricity use. Then, sit with housemates to create an energy reduction goal and plan. Some examples: Seal up air leaks. Insulate pipes. Turn your thermostat up to use less air conditioning. Use a programmable thermostat.

Use ceiling, attic, or house fans for circulation. Use task lighting with compact fluorescent or LED and, in the future, plasma bulbs. Are there dishwasher or refrigerator power-saving options? Turn waterheater temperature control to no higher than 1200 F. Wash full loads in cold water. Reduce dryer time.

For electronics, use a power strip and turn off master

Sandra Kurtz

switch. Unplug chargers after use.

Other potential actions may cost, but will lower utility bills and increase home value: Go for energyefficient windows. Install tankless or integrated water heater, solar tubes or skylights for natural daylighting, and place solar panels on your roof. Replace roof in light color. Paint rooms light colors. Replace furnace with combined heat and power system (CHP). Move to a smaller place.

Future homes may become their own power generators, perhaps with a fuel cell sitting in the closet powered by quantum dot solar energy and storage batteries. This mosaic of efficiency actions, coupled with alternative energies will provide electricity on a cleaner, greener planet minus old fossil-fuel technology and without the worry of nuclear accidents and radioactive waste passed on to future generations.

“Just to be clear, I’m not advocating living without electricity, only that we produce it with environmentally clean, safe sources.”

Special Note: An item is on the August 18 TVA Board meeting agenda to consider approving construction for the once-abandoned Bellefonte Unit 1 nuclear reactor. TVA’s Generation Partners, Green Power Switch, and Energy Right programs promote use of Earth-friendly energies and energy efficiency.

Sandra Kurtz is an environmental education consultant, a former classroom teacher and a founder of Tennessee Environmental Education Association. Presently she is executive co-director with the Urban Century Institute, a local nonprofit organization promoting sustainability and sustainable thinking.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

CreateHere Supernova

Five Months to Blast Off

CreateHere prepares for its Supernova—and beyond

By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

COVER STORY

CreateHere Supernova

T

he Big Bang was planned from the beginning.

When two smart young entrepreneur types met while working at Allied Arts in the early part of the new millennium and mindmelded on an idea for an entity focusing on “arts, economy and culture,” they designed it with a finite lifecycle: five years.

“Many organizations are extremely effective in their first five years,” says CreateHere co-founder Josh McManus, “then they begin to drift. It’s called ‘mission creep.’ We wanted to create a sense of urgency.”

“The idea was that the programs would be able to grow beyond what they would be able to do if they were still part of CreateHere,” says co-founder Helen Davis Johnson.

So when CreateHere launched in 2007, its 2011 “SuperNova” was figured into the equation. The SuperNova will happen on December 31, 2011—and CreateHere, the organization, will cease to exist. Yet, as we know from physics, energy is neither created nor destroyed. The best ideas fostered

by CreateHere are already spinning off into existences of their own.

Funded primarily by the Lyndhurst Foundation, CreateHere has also partnered with the Benwood Foundation and the Community Foundation of Greater Chattanooga, all of which share Johnson and McManus’s vision of a Chattanooga bettered through civic engagement.

The CreateHere solar system As they expected, programs have evolved on their own paths.

“One road led us to the next road,” Johnson says. “It’s been a windy, windy road,” says McManus. Not every project launched was a complete success, but he says, “We have learned to be better at constructive feedback. In the beginning, we were not as brutally honest as we should have been.”

“The failures helped us articulate what success actually means,” says Johnson.

ArtsMove, the first program CreateHere took on, had originally

been administered by Allied Arts and Johnson in particular had been key in its development. This program relocates qualified artists into Chattanooga by providing mortgage incentives. Participating artists agree to relocate into the “urban core.” Widely acknowledged as a success, having attracted artists such as John and Peggy Petrey and Jan Chenoweth and Roger Halligan, ArtsMove will continue under the umbrella of Choose Chattanooga. “I think it’s proven that Chattanooga is a city that values creatives, recognizes their economic impact on the community, and wants to attract and retain talent,” says Johnson. However, the CreateHere space, which served as a gallery for some time, often featuring the work of ArtsMove and MakeWork recipients, became redundant after more galleries opened in the Main Street area. “We didn’t need to be in the gallery business,” says Johnson. “We’re here to work ourselves out of a job.”

Main x 24, a 24-hour celebration of the area, has also “graduated” out of CreateHere to the umbrella of the Southside Neighborhood Association.

Realizing that many talented young people continued to leave Chattanooga because of lack of opportunity, in October 2007, CreateHere launched LeadHere. LeadHere participants, recent college grads, became CreateHere Fellows and were trained in a huge variety of fields. These 80 young people have, for the most part, stayed on in Chattanooga, working in arts, economic and entrepreneurial careers.

Then, in early 2008, the innovative MakeWork grants program was launched. Most arts grants programs are designed to serve nonprofits, but MakeWork is geared to individuals, and during its cycle has funded 84 projects (see sidebar), including some grants that enable artists to purchase tools and fund studio space; again, a rarity in the grants world. MakeWork will also continue with support from a private contributor and additional partners, according to Johnson. “MakeWork has brought $675,000 into the local

“Many organizations are extremely effective in their first five years, then they begin to drift. It’s called ‘mission creep.’

We wanted to create a sense of urgency.”

The CreateHere Projects CreateHere’s projects run the gamut from the business/entrepreneur-focused SpringBoard, to the leadership development LeadHere, to the arts/economysupporting ArtsMove and MakeWork. It’s worth noting, however, that in addition to these, CreateHere has provided multiple workshops, usually free of charge, on a variety of subjects linked to its mission of arts, economy and culture. In addition, the headquarters on Main Street

has served as gallery, rehearsal space and event venue for many projects.

As listed on createhere.org, here’s what has been launched in five years: Main x 24 48 Hour Launch 55 Here Art-o-Mat ArtsMove Chattanooga Works City Love Collaboration

City Share City Share Mini Conference Hops & Opera LeadHere MakeWork PlugDin SpringBoard SpringBoard Peer Roundtables Stand Videos on CreateHere projects VW Pallet Program www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

CreateHere Supernova

economy,” she says.

Next came SpringBoard, described as “a resource hub for area entrepreneurs.”

If you had an idea for a business, SpringBoard’s business planning classes could help you avoid costly mistakes. In 20 sessions, more than 250 budding entrepreneurs learned how (and how not) to create business plans, manage themselves and employees and market and publicize their ventures. From SpringBoard has now sprung Company Lab, a nonprofit under the direction of former CreateHere Fellow Sheldon Grizzle.

Company Lab is continuing popular programs such as the 48-Hour Launch, in which potential entrepreneurs brainstorm ideas and how to bring them to reality in a 48-hour period.

Then, in summer 2009, CreateHere took on an even bigger challenge, inspired by a call to action from then-County Mayor Claude Ramsey in the wake of the Volkswagen announcement. “How could

organizations, businesses, and especially individuals leverage this economic driver for the greater, local good?” he asked.

“We believe in leading by example,” says McManus.

“Fresh voices needed to be heard,” says Johnson.

CreateHere committed to asking 25,000 people how their city could be better and what they could do to help, as part of a program called Stand. With more than 26,000 surveys collected over five months, Stand is now the world’s largest “community visioning effort”, and the results are driving some of Johnson and McManus’s biggest priorities post-CreateHere.

Innovative partnership CreateHere has never been a “top-down” organization. Johnson and McManus both had a dozen years of experience in nonprofits and had observed what worked and what didn’t. ”We didn’t decide who was going to be in charge. We agreed to operate by the buddy system,” says McManus. Together,

“As we know from physics, energy is neither created nor destroyed. The best ideas fostered

by CreateHere are already spinning off into existences of their own.”

Making More MakeWork Is chocolate art? The MakeWork program thought so, providing Wendy and Brandon Buckner of The Hot Chocolatier with two grants, one enabling them to buy an “enrobing” machine for their gourmet chocolates, and another funding a trip to European chocolate-making facilities. Housed up to now in the incubator Business Development Building on Cherokee on the NorthShore, this month the business opens in its new site, 201 W. Main St. Kate Creason, MakeWork administrator and CreateHere fellow, points to that success as an example of what MakeWork has been able to accomplish.

“Then there’s Shane Darwent, a photographer whose work has now been featured throughout the Southeast and who’s produced a book,” she says, “and Bridget Miller, who’s a partner in Leo Handmade Gallery, and who MakeWork helped establish her own line of eco-friendly clothing.”

Those are just three examples of the 84 artists and entrepreneurs assisted by MakeWork grants in the last four years.

The arts community heaved a sigh of relief upon hearing MakeWork would continue, Creason says. “We don’t know if it will keep the name, and we are looking for additional donors, but we are 100 percent sure it will continue.”

MakeWork has aided recipients not just for the life of their grants, but for long afterwards, she explains, as part of the condition of the grants is that recipients attend “sustainability sessions” designed to help them learn to manage their arts careers as businesses.

Contact Creason at kate@createhere.org

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COVER STORY

CreateHere Supernova

they allocated their talents and strengths into the areas they were best suited to—and this has carried over into the rest of the organization as well. “We’ve never said, ‘We’re going to hire a secretary,’” Johnson says.

“How do we take that model and turn it on its head? Even people that are hired for a 10-hour project are going to contribute in a culture of opportunity.”

Post-SuperNova, the partners expect to continue to work together, but each is embarking on their own new paths as well.

McManus is a founding partner in the new venue Track 29, which opens in September. “The CreateHere model is becoming active in other cities, such as Detroit and Cincinnati, and I am involved in part of that,” he says. “Some of that is yet to be announced,” he adds, smiling mysteriously.

Johnson explains that she’s got projects as well, including also being involved with the evolution of the CreateHere model, about which there is “a book in development”, spending more time with her two small children, and acting as a MakeWork advisor. “Some opportunities are continually evolving,” she says, also smiling mysteriously.

Both partners will be involved in efforts to use the Stand results to change the community. The surveys identified education as the greatest challenge on survey-takers’ minds, and with the recent controversies involving the Hamilton County School Board, this issue has emerged as crucial. A Standgenerated project called “Shift” will now occupy some of both the partners’ time. Already, “A Proposal for Chattanooga’s Public Education” has been created, stating, “The Challenge: That success be our expecta-

tion for every student in Hamilton County.”

“People want to help but they don’t know how. There is an advocacy gap,” says McManus. “There needs to be a paradigm shift,” says Johnson. “There is a strong argument to be made for good public education…or we can just keep paying for jails and emergency rooms.

Where do we want to put our dollars?”

Crime is another issue Stand surveys identified as something Chattanooga needs to cope with. “We want to teach people to erase the ‘pre-context’ of crime, and clean neighborhoods of blight and graffiti,” says McManus.

CreateHere and its mission have not avoided controversy. Just as many naysayers referred to the idea of the Tennessee Aquarium as “Jack Lupton’s fish tank,” many scoffed at the idea of redeveloping Main Street and the Southside. A Pulse 2008 cover story on the project elicited an email from a then-prominent radio talkshow host accusing the author of “pimping for CreateHere.”

But all it takes is a stroll around the Southside to see the galactic changes that have occurred in the last five years. Businesses and restaurants, a number of them fostered by SpringBoard, galleries, some launched by ArtsMove participants, public art and a general feeling of “It Can Happen Here” have transformed the area, along with the many new downtown residents.

“Social innovation is not an anomaly,” says McManus. “Some believe in institutions and some believe in individuals. We wanted to build something that taps into the bubbling potential of Chattanooga.”

Take Root 2.0: Citizen Forester CreateHere co-founder Helen Johnson was a member of the 2008 Leadership Chattanooga class, and a member of the class group that decided on planting trees in Chattanooga as its project. Their project, titled Take Root, has also been fostered partly by CreateHere.

As Take Root materials explain, “In 2007, Take Root embraced a tradition of citizen-based forestry in Chattanooga. This effort built on the work begun by the Green Team over two decades ago.

“Empowered by a vision of transforming Chattanooga into the most beautiful mid-sized city in the country, the Green Team, a loose organization of concerned Chattanooga citizens, embraced big goals and delivered big accomplishments.

“Under Green Team leadership, landscape professionals were put to work and thousands of trees were planted. The hard work and high precedence of the original Green Team continue, to this day, to inform the vision and action of current tree planting efforts within the city.

“In just over three years and 1,400-plus trees later, Take Root succeeded in the ambitious goal of doubling the tree canopy in Chattanooga’s urban core. The partners involved in the project, Leadership Chattanooga, Chattanooga’s Urban Forestry Division, and CreateHere, want to maintain the upwelling of civic pride and momentum for positive environmental change initiated by Take Root just a few years ago.”

Now Take Root is moving on to Take Root 2.0, or as it’s also called, “Citizen Forester,” explains Michael Wurzel, environmental coordinator and CreateHere fellow, in which the program expands beyond the urban core to people in all neighborhoods. “This initiative embraces the same core values as Take Root and the Green Team: Civic pride, education, and environmental stewardship. It empowers Chattanooga residents to invest in the livelihood of their neighborhoods.

And, to top it off, individuals who go through the training will receive a free T-shirt and a voucher to redeem in November for two free trees.”

On July 14, registration begins for the four-hour Citizen Forester classes, and a launch party for the program takes place from 5:30-7:30 p.m. at The Crash Pad, 29 Johnson St. (behind Niedlov’s on Main Street).

Classes, taught by experts in tree planting and care, will be held in September and October and participants will learn about “all aspects of tree care and tree maintenance,” says Wurzel. The $25 cost will be funneled back into the program.

“We want to energize a new group of people and teach them about the economic and environmental benefits of planting trees,” he says.

Visit www.takerootchattanooga.com for more information.

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

ARTS

Feature

Art and Geometry

By Michael Crumb, Pulse Arts Writer

T

he current show at Jan Chenoweth and Roger Halligan’s Front Gallery features fine arts sculptures by Isaac Duncan III, Shadow May and Andy Light. Chenoweth remarks that these three sculptors are showing “in a small space.” However, most of the gallery space being devoted to only these three artists allows for a sense of intimacy between visitors and these works. Also comparisons among the various works are easily made, partly because this show is so well disposed, with pieces advantageously placed.

One entering the gallery quickly encounters Duncan’s “Precarious C-Plight,” a large work of bright steel, with a brass accent. Masterful and playful with composite geometrical elements in leaning attitudes that appear to balance each other, it presents a dynamic tension such that its static status verges on motion.

This large work is flanked by a series of Duncan’s maquettes, smaller studies of larger works, including “Matriarch,” of which the large version resides on Main Street near the corner of Market Street. Many of Duncan’s pieces share this “kinetic” sense, remarkable because there are no moving pieces in these works. The sense of an instantaneous verging into motion has been achieved through composition. The combination of geometrical elements, cylindrical, spherical or rectangular, implies a set of limits of their possible relations to each other, such that a millimeter difference in placement would plunge these elements into a cascade of motion. Duncan’s theme of geometric relation has been presented with a rigorous joy. Thoughts and play embrace!

Geometry continues as a major subject through contemporary art as a particular form of abstraction. Somewhat

“Artists’ play with geometric forms can enter frontiers of visionary thought.”

parallel to the play and contention of ideas that are abstractions that convey meaning, geometry involves mathematical play. We are familiar with the pictoral equations of shapes and, perhaps, with the dynamic geometry of the billiard table, but we may not so easily recognize how geometry provides a virtually unlimited descriptive capability.

Back in the early ’70s, the application of 19th-century polynomial mathematics provided the foundation for computer graphics that have now evolved into an art form capable of remarkable effects. Creative mathematicians can develop equations that are unprecedented and suggestive of real applications. On the other end of this spectrum, artists’ play with geometric forms can enter frontiers of visionary thought.

Andy Light’s sculptures are particularly suggestive of this mathematical context. In the large steel piece “Solitaire,” a kind of meditation emerges on how a particular geometric shape contains a potential for transformation into related forms. Light’s smaller pieces combine the senses of complex geometric forms with descriptions of motion. Their paradoxically static quality suggests much about how forms move in mutual relation, sometimes quite playfully, sometimes chaotically.

Light’s large steel piece “Articulator” enforces a dynamic paradox around our sense of symmetry. Clearly, symmetrical elements are brought into asymmetrical relation. The base has a cylindrical character, and facing elements rise from this base in a mirror-like movement, but these elements possess significant differences that match their similarities. Their curving character suggests an ongoing dynamic frozen in an instant for observation.

The gallery arrangement provides for some proximity between Light’s pieces and Duncan’s that helps to sharpen suggestions about how these sculptures engage geometric forms in dynamic relations.

Shadow May’s work involves a different sense of geometry, invoking a sort of spectrum from barely functional forms to more abstracted ones. May’s six pieces are titled by numbers, not words, and this tends to reinforce the mathematical quality of geometry. Often, in painting, figural or objective work may develop into abstract dimensions that cohabit the piece. May achieves this sense in his sculptures, almost as if the individual pieces possess a kind of memory of precedent functional forms. Also very significantly May strives to render unique surfaces that both visually and even tactilely present unusual senses of his clay and glass materials.

Get close to these.

Also, check out Duncan’s marvelous monoprints.

Correction: In last week’s arts story, “Depth of Vision”, we erroneously noted the current show at 1800 Main as featuring the work of Shaun LaRose, Denice Bizot and Christopher Mosey. That show has closed. The current show features the work of Miki Boni and Dana Shavin. Their work will be up until September 11.

Trio of Sculptors Front Gallery, 1800 Rossville Ave., Suite 1 (423) 243-3778 Through July 31 Reception for artists 5 – 8 p.m.

Friday, July 15

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ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

On Coal River

(part of AEC Back Row Film Series) Doc on families banding together to save their West Virginia home. $10 6 p.m. reception 6:30 screening green|spaces, 63 E. Main St. www.backrowfilms.com

Thursday

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Free Family Night 5:30 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org All American Summer Music Series 6 p.m. The Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org AEC Back Row Film Series: On Coal River 6 p.m. green|spaces, 63 East Main St. www.backrowfilms.com Fifth Annual First Amendment Dinner 6:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Hairspray 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Lookouts vs. Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com

By Jupiter 7:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Cir. (423) 877-6447.

Killer Beaz 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Friday

Artisan Festival Noon. Museum Center at 5ive Points, 200 Inman St. E., Cleveland.

(423) 339-5745. www.MuseumCenter.org.

LibertyCon 3 p.m. Comfort Inn & Suites, 6710 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.libertycon.org Nightfall Music Series 5:30 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. www.nightfallchattanooga.com Mystery of Flight 138 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Lookouts vs. Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Killer Beaz 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

By Jupiter 7:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Cir. (423) 877-6447.

24th Annual Scopes Festival 8 p.m. Rhea County Courthouse, 375 Church St. Dayton.

(423) 775-9847.

Disney’s Beauty & the Beast 8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, Corner of James Blvd and Rolling Way, Signal Mountain. www.smph.org Rent 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Hairspray 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Stand Up Comedy! Todd Yohn 9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Showbar, 065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

Teen Challenge Walk/Run for Hope 7:30 a.m. Tennessee River Park, Shelter 2, Amnicola Hwy. www.teen-challenge.com LibertyCon 9 a.m. Comfort Inn & Suites, 6710 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.libertycon.org 4th Annual Criminal Justice Seminar 9 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 267-5637. www.chattanooganaacp.org Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

Release party for Slowtime Field Recordings, Volume 1 Matt Downer screens the DVD of his recordings of local elder musicians.

Free 7 p.m.

CreateHere, 55 E Main Street, Suite 105.

(423) 648.2195. www.createhere.org

Artisan Festival 10 a.m. Museum Center at 5ive Points, 200 Inman St. E., Cleveland.

(423) 339-5745. www.MuseumCenter.org.

SHE Expo 11 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001.

Art till Dark Noon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.com Rock City Summer Music Series Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675.

Arts Live: Dance Around the World 2 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043.

Cocktails for Conservation 6 p.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 North Holtzclaw Ave. www.chattzoo.org Chattanooga Locomotion vs. New England Intensity 7 p.m. Red Bank High School, 640 Morrison Springs Rd. www.gochattanoogalocomotion.com

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar

SATURDAY

LibertyCon

The long-running summer science fiction & fantasy convention/pool party. $50 weekend pass Friday—Sunday Comfort Inn & Suites 6710 Ringgold Rd. (423) 893-7979 www.libertycon.org Lookouts vs. Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Killer Beaz 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grill, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

By Jupiter 7:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Cir. (423) 877-6447.

24th Annual Scopes Festival 8 p.m. Rhea County Courthouse, 375 Church St. Dayton.

(423) 775-9847.

Disney’s Beauty & the Beast 8 p.m. Signal Mountain Playhouse, Corner of James Blvd and Rolling Way, Signal Mountain. www.smph.org Rent 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Hairspray 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

SUNDAY

Movies in the Park 9 p.m. Coolidge Park, 150 River St. www.firstthings.org Chattanooga Ghost Hunt 9:30 p.m. Patten Chapel, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Stand Up Comedy! Todd Yohn 10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images Showbar, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.com LibertyCon Noon. Comfort Inn & Suites, 6710 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.libertycon.org SHE Expo Noon. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 Rock City Summer Music Series Noon. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675.

Chattanooga Book Arts Collaborative Meeting 2 p.m. CreateHere, 55 East Main St. chattanoogabookarts.blogspot.com Lookouts vs. Mobile Baybears 2: 15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Hairspray 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

By Jupiter 2:30 p.m. St. Luke United Methodist Church, 3210 Social Cir. (423) 877-6447.

Jericho Brass 13th Anniversary Concert 4 p.m. First Cumberland Presbyterian Church, 1505 N. Moore Rd. www.jerichobrassband.org Chattanooga and Community Drum and Dance Circle 7 p.m. Coolidge Park, Tennessee Riverfront, 150 River St. Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Scenic City Comedy Search 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Movie Night 8 p.m. Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Cafe, 501 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 752-5224.

Find them on Facebook Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Monday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com UTC Kids & Pros Youth Football Camp 6 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. www.kidsandpros.com.

Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com

Hairspray

Boffo musical based on the John Waters film. $17.50 - $25 2:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Lookouts vs. Mobile Baybears 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Tuesday

Arts Chatt 5 p.m. Big River Grille, 222 Broad St. Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Wednesday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. www.chattanoogasidewalktours.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

On The Beat

Keeping In The Know J

uly 3, 2011. A Sunday 10:21 p.m.: According to witnesses, a tall lone male dressed all in black approaches a duplex on Arlington Avenue in East Chattanooga and asks for Brandon Fennell by his street name, “Brando”, a name made popular by actor Marlon Brando, particularly for his role as “The Godfather”, an Italian mob boss from the ’40s and ’50s in an Oscar-winning film series I need not mention.

As Fennell approaches the door, the man shoots him several times in the chest, and then shoots two men sitting on the porch in the lower extremities. He flees, leaving “Brando” dead and the other two wounded, but surviving.

Investigators respond and spend more than nine hours on the scene itself while tracking leads that comprise the description above and nothing else, since neighbors saw nothing and the men sitting on the porch were mystified as to the shooter’s identity.

July 6, 2011. A Wednesday.

The front page of a local newspaper says “THEY JUST DON’T CARE” in bold print, citing “Woman blames police attitude for overlooking shell casing.”

Upon reading this, do you know what my own internal front page read? “Holy Freakin’ Crap.”

The victim’s girlfriend was shocked that anyone would want to hurt him, because he was loved by neighborhood kids for his wanting to play sports with them. She further stated that he must have had no idea that danger was imminent because he had allowed his kids to stay home that night.

“He’d have taken us to his mom’s house,” she told local reporters. “That’s what we’d done the other times there were shootings.”

“Other shootings”? Well, holy shit. What a great guy.

So keenly attuned to local issues that he could relocate his family after hearing gossip.

What she failed to mention were the 20 charges he’d accumulated in the five-plus years prior. He didn’t care about marriage after five kids (which I actually don’t judge), but the disorderly conducts, the vandalisms, the aggravated criminal trespasses, the resisting arrests, the assaults, the criminal impersonations, the revokeds, the domestic assaults, the malicious mischiefs, the simple drug possessions, the tampering or fabricating evidences…doesn’t it seem they should be mentioned as some of the aspects of his demise?

I mean, I feel like a complete asshole at this point for having kids (plural) of my own and not one misdemeanor (much less felony) charge in my background and being married. But blaming the police for his death after these facts? Weak. I guess, appropriately so in this day and age.

A comment made was that “the police should have gotten to know the community around here to keep this from happening” (paraphrased).

Folks, the Decedent had been arrested on more than 20 charges prior to his demise in the last five years. How better to have gotten to know this customer than this?

If I’d been arrested more than 20 times in five years, wouldn’t it be safe to say that I “knew” police in my area?

I mean CRAP, man.

Am I a potentially bigoted piece of trash? Certainly, yes. But at the time of his death, records show, Mr.

Alex Teach

Fennell was completing three months’ probation for drug possession. He lived in the highest crime area in town.

And he did so after those 20-plus arrests.

On that Sunday night, I can tell you who is on my porch: NO ONE. Is it really the police’s fault Fennell was gunned down on the front of his own porch with two associates on it for no reason at all? Think about it. Not the cops’ fault at all, but, as crazy as it may seem…maybe it was a hazard of “The Business”?

The cops know the area; there is a disproportional concentration of police there compared to any other part of town now. As for “knowing” the guy? Ah, yes…that will help, too. But until then, I guess it all depends on the police making friends with all these criminals, you know?

“Folks, the Decedent had been arrested on more than 20 charges prior to his demise in the last five years. How better to have gotten to know this customer than this?”

Wish us luck. There aren’t any other faults or rules, by the way. I just can’t believe what I see in the way of the real thing.

I also can’t believe what I read about it in these few competing newspapers.

Sad…but at least one of us has it right.

What do you keep in YOUR wallet?

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Feature

Can I Get A Hell Yeah?

By Tara V, Pulse Music Writer

O

n Friday night, JJ’s Bohemia will present “Hell Yeah Fest”, an evening of locals and out-of-towners offering a night of country Americana sloppy-tonk that will have you breaking out those cowboy boots and puttin’ down PBR tallboys like you were in high school again. Here is a quick split of the artists you will hear and what they have been up to.

Roger Alan Wade: A local and worldwide legend, Roger has been a part of Chattanooga’s music scene forever. A man of his word, he tells stories of redneck livin’ like no one I’ve heard before. Penning songs for other legends such as Johnny Cash, Waylon Jennings, Hank Williams, Jr. and George Jones, his solo career took off after his nephew Johnny Knoxville played his music to an approving Howard Stern.

His song “If Your Gonna Be Dumb” and others theme the soundtrack of the infamous Jackass series and he continues to produce a weekly show with Knoxville on Sirius XM. The show, titled “Big Ass Happy Family”, can be found on the Outlaw Country Channel.

“Hell Yeah—the hottest thing to hit Chattanooga since the Moon Pie and more fun than the Towing & Recovery Museum.”

Jonny Corndawg: Jonny, originally from Montana, has been touring with his motorcycle and large Coca-Cola can suitcase since 2001. A handsome young man with an ability to be funny and serious, his music is widespread and his DIY low-fi take on Southern culture is unmistakable.

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He has played shows in every U.S. state, Canada, Europe, Argentina, Australia and India. Now if that isn’t spreading the honky-tonk good word, then I don’t know what is.

From what I hear, you will need to bring extra cash as Jonny will bring his custom leatherwork and airbrushing skills as well as his tunes.

Shovels and Rope: This husband/ wife duo is no stranger to JJ’s. Cary Ann Hearst and Micheal Trent. currently of John’s Island, South Carolina, have been making waves and touring the country for quite some time. Keeping it simple, they are said to make you re-think the term “live band”. Switching instruments and leads, they manage a balance of solo and combined musical genius. Their latest accomplishment hits on Hearst’s twisted and truthful lyrics of “Hell’s Bells”. The song was chosen to play alongside the twisted and seductive characters of the cult phenomenon Trueblood. When speaking with Matt Bohannon, he described the two as “TRex meets Emmy Lou Harris”... a must see.

Joel T. Hamilton: Joel, of Charleston, SC, has been touring solo with Shovels and Rope. Former lead vocalist of the band The Working Title. he has a long list of accomplishments and has shared the stage with the likes of The Goo Goo Dolls, Counting Crows, and MuteMath. Unable to stick to one genre, he has termed his music “slippery” and admits to being a below-average arm wrestler and failed gardener. Though his music is above the grade.

Matt and Marty Bohannon: Our hometown heroes

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

local Hidden Spots.

are ever-entertaining, whether playing solo or with their self titled group The Bohannons.

Now signed to This is American Music, the brothers have stayed busy with fellow band members Nick Sterchi and Josh Beaver.

Currently The Bohannons are between studios, recording two full-length albums due for release in the fall. In Chattanooga, at Tiny Buzz Recording, they are working on the b-side to “Cult of The White Van”, which is being cut in Athens, GA at Chase Park Transduction. Chase Park has worked with Drive By Truckers, Widespread Panic, and even our

When we asked Roger Alan Wade what he had to say about the first of hopefully many more Hell Yeah Fests at our loyal JJ’s Bohemia, he replied in true down-home style: “Hell Yeah—the hottest thing to hit Chattanooga since the Moon Pie and more fun than the Towing & Recovery Museum. Great folks, sweet music & funky ole’ JJ’s. Hallelujah, it’s boogie time in hillbilly heaven.”

Hell Yeah Fest $8 9 p.m.

Friday, July 15 JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

MUSIC

New Music Reviews

Bryan Lewis Saunders with Razen and Classwar Karaoke Friends Stream of Unconscious Volume 2 (Stand-Up Tragedy)

“...visceral, brutally frank and often disturbing outpourings.”

Visual and spoken-word artist Bryan Lewis Saunders, from Johnson City, Tenn., is known for his visceral, brutally frank and often disturbing outpourings, of which there seems to be an endless supply. For example, 16 years ago, he began to create at least one unique self-portrait every single day—a routine he intends to keep until death, having made more than 8,000 of them so far. He’s so good at it, one might say he could do it in his sleep.

Actually, he does create art in his sleep—he tape-records his dreams and sleep talking, coming up with bizarre stories. It’s kind of like the “automatic writing” method of surrealists such as André Breton in the early 20th century, but instead of merely tapping into the subconscious, Saunders is on a different level by harnessing the unconscious.

Saunders’s latest audio work is an ambitious project entitled Stream of Unconscious (Narrative Mode); when completed, it will consist of twelve cassettes, each side of which serves as a separate chapter with a collaboration with a different avant-garde sound artist or group. The second volume features “The Confessor” with the Belgian group Razen and “I Pickle All Enemies” with the experimental music collective Classwar Karaoke Friends.

Saunders’s stories are sometimes impenetrable ramblings, mentioning burgers with secret names or using odd lines like “Pigs are always hungry so juicify them.” At other times, he manages to tell semi-comprehensible stories of impersonating lawyers or a “torture and pickling process.”

Razen uses exotic instrumentation from faraway

Mostly Other People Do the Killing The Coimbra Concert (Clean Feed)

They kid because they love. The bustling, often intense NYC jazz quartet Mostly Other People Do the Killing (MOPDTK), formed by bassist Moppa Elliott, conveys a peculiar sense of humor with its ADD-afflicted style; the group darts between motifs from Elliott’s compositions and melodies from jazz classics and other

lands, such as the lute-like bouzouki, obscure wind instruments, a variety of percussion, and the santur, a type of hammered dulcimer. Classwar Karaoke Friends takes a technologically minded approach, slicing and dicing and manipulating Saunders’s speech and providing electronic molestations and low, foreboding rumbles.

If there’s one word to describe Saunders’s monologues, it would be “unsettling,” and the soundtracks complement the disorienting mood.

While Razen places the listener in foreign, unfamiliar lands, Classwar Karaoke Friends puts him in a state of uneasiness. — Ernie Paik

sources on its new, live 2-hour set The Coimbra Concert. Although at certain times, the band seems to be playing for laughs (the snippet of Pink Floyd’s “Another Brick in the Wall” comes to mind), these pieces are sly homages with a genuine understanding and love for the adventurous hard bop and forward-thinking jazz masters who inspired the outfit. Actually, jazz aficionados will recognize the cover of The Coimbra Concert to be a takeoff of the cover of Keith Jarrett’s classic album The Köln Concert.

There’s a playful yet rigorous competitive spirit on The Coimbra Concert, as if the members were in a four-way game of tug-of-war using jet fighters tied together. Sometimes a player will offer a theme, only for it to be rejected by the others in the form of another transition; however, when a motif is accepted, it is embraced with gusto and a breathtaking synchronicity. It makes sense that a previous MOPDTK album

cover and title, This Is Our Moosic, were nods to sax legend Ornette Coleman, since saxophonist Jon Irabagon and trumpeter Peter Evans have a sort of sonic brotherly rivalry and interplay reminiscent of that between Coleman and cornetist/trumpeter Don Cherry. Drummer Kevin Shea is a full-on fire hose with a busy, clattering style that switches between swinging rhythms and pointedly non-jazz blastbeats or hints of drum-and-bass, and he also throws in some electronic manipulations and sound samples.

Some may find the quartet’s style to be maddeningly schizoid or irreverent, which is understandable. Nevertheless, all four players have superb chops and a magnificent, swift fury, and the quartet avoids the abrupt stop/start avantjazz tropes and demonstrates a talent for making seamless, skillfully executed transitions between wildly disparate moments. — Ernie Paik www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Concert Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Protomen, Bear Lake, Prophets and Kings The Protomen are a Mega Man tribute band. Mega Man, the video game. $5.

10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Thursday

Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Audience Choice Night 7 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Blues Jam with Rick Rushing 7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com My Epic, Ocean is Theory, Behold the Brave, Oaklynn 8 p.m. The Warehouse, 12 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Billy Hopkins 8 p.m. Southside Saloon and Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Soul Survivor 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com The Maycomb Criers with Brian Jones 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Jordan Hallquist 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Sol Driven Train 10 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Gaslight Street CD Release Party 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Protomen, Bear Lake, Prophets and Kings 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Friday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo. com/localevents Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Moon Slew 7 p.m. Nightfall Summer Concert Series, Miller Plaza. www.nightfallchattanooga.com Live DJ Party 7 p.m. McHales Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com

Black Lillies 8 p.m. Nightfall Summer Concert Series, Miller Plaza. www.nightfallchattanooga.com Cody Turpen 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Priscilla and Lil’ Ricky 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.chattanooganhotel.com Hell Yeah Fest: Roger Alan Wade, Bohannons, Johnny Corndog, Shovels and Rope 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia C. Sott Moody 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Black Cat Moon 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs Downtown, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com/downtown DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 East Brainerd Rd. (423) 648-6679.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Slippery When Wet: A Bon Jovi Tribute 10 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke & Dancing 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com

Black Lillies

Five cuties in Western shirts headline Nightfall.

Free.

8 p.m.

Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza. nightfallchattanooga.com

Saturday

Ogya Trio 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-9056. www.ridetheincline.com New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.com Michael Jabobs 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, Tennessee Aquarium Place, 1 Broad Street. www.chattanoogamarket.com Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com/localevents Tim Woodson and the Heirs of Harmony 6 p.m. Chauncey Goode Auditorium, Tennessee Temple University, 1815 Union Ave. (423) 642-TIXS. www.chattanoogaonstage.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Josh Gilbert presents Noah Collins, Jordan Hallquist, Ryan Oyer, more 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com

MUSIC

Concert Calendar

SATURDAY

Lord T & Eloise featuring Opportunities

Lord T meets local rap prodigy O.P. Muhnee. $7.

8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia Lord T and Eloise, Opportunities 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Veronika Jackson 8 p.m. Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org/events Timberwolf 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Priscilla and Lil’ Ricky 8:30 p.m. The Foundry (at the Chattanoogan Hotel), 1201 Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.chattanooganhotel.com Joe Tucker 9 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Find them on Facebook.

Todd Weaver 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Black Cat Moon 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs Downtown, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com/downtown

WEDNESDAY

Flibberty Gibbett 9 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Davey Smith with Rick Bowers and the Majors 10 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Moon Slew 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Gabriel Newell 10 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com

Sunday

New Binkley Brothers Noon. Rock City Summer Music Weekends, 1400 Patten Rd., Lookout Mtn. www.seerockcity.com Michael Jacobs 12:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Blake Guthrie 1:30 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Veronika Jackson 2 p.m. Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter St. www.chattanoogamarket.com Free Range Mystics 3 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58,

(423) 485-0966. myspace.com/debbieslounge Open Mic with Mike McDade 7 p.m. The Office (inside Days Inn), 901 Carter St. (423) 634-9191.

Shortwave Society 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Monday

Old Tyme Players 6 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Music Mondays 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee and Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Paul Collins Beat, King Louie and the Missing Monuments, Future Virgins 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Big Band Night 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Black Stone Cherry with Mighty Sideshow 8:30 p.m. Rhythm and Brews, 221 Market St. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Tuesday

Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern,

Shortwave Society

Off-kilter pop. $3 9 p.m.

The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com

1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Wednesday

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Acoustic Café, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, Ga. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Prime Cut Trio 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Jordan Hallquist 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia DJ ScubaSteve hosts Jenntastic Wednesdays- Open Mic/Karaoke/ Poetry/Comedy/Local Music 9 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Rd. (423) 899-2695. www.holidaybowlbrainerd.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

Life In The ‘Noog

Better Left Unsaid A

s a writer, I’m supposed to be a scholar of the English language. It’s up to someone of my profession to point out run-on sentences and spot dangling participles a mile away. In fact, I can’t. I know if something reads right or not, and how to fix errors when Microsoft Word’s inner grammar wizards cast their green underlined beacons of wrongdoing. But this never helps me, or anyone else, when trying to talk pretty.

Seems the English language is riddled with spoken rhetoric that would never be “recollected” when one “puts pen to paper.” It’s the little sayings we catch ourselves uttering every day that don’t make a “lick of sense” but when said everyone “gets it.”

The corporate world is the worst. Those who truly matter are “stakeholders,” which includes everyone who can help you push whatever it is you’re selling (or continues to buy it). You always need to “reach out to” these people and “take a meeting” or “do lunch.” And when these face-to-face kiss-ups are eventually booked, you can impress everyone internally with your full schedule of “a 10 a.m.”, “11 a.m.” and a “lunch.” With all of that going on, when will you have time to “shoot me an email?”

At the restaurant, you might be seated at a “four top” before being introduced to your server who’ll be “taking care of you this evening.” On a business lunch you’ll “talk shop,” but on a date you’ll likely enjoy an “appy” and a “nice glass of wine” “over dinner.” Just be sure to “settle up” and not “dine and dash” or you might find yourself “dumped” and “washing dishes.”

Old gangster films really crack me up.

You giving me the “high hat?” “I got a bad rap, see” but it was “like taking candy from a baby” until I got “double crossed.”

So you’d better “hit the bricks” or “it’s curtains for you.” “Run along now” or you might “turn up missing,” “meet with an accident” and “find yourself” “sleeping with the fishes.”

Chuck Crowder

“In Boston everything is ‘wicked cool.’ In New York, something demanding great respect is ‘sick.’ In Chicago, things are ‘boss’ and in L.A. you might refer to your prized possessions as being ‘dope.’”

The Brits have different nicknames for everything, it seems. Instead of a “hood” and a “trunk,” their cars have “bonnets” and “boots.” Even garbage disposal is confusing. After you finish your “take away” (to-go food), you put the “rubbish” (garbage) in the “bin” (trash can), you put the “bin” in the “skip” (dumpster) and the “lorry” (garbage truck) takes it away.

It all makes me want to “go round to the pub” and “queue up” for a “pint.”

Our terminology when referring in derogatory terms to the opposite sex is interesting. Women might refer to an undesirable man as a “tool,” “douche,” or “loser.” Men on the other hand, use

labels such as “high-maintenance,” “skank” or “butt ugly” to describe those ladies they wouldn’t “do.” One thing is for sure, those of interest by either sex are definitely “hot.”

You can always tell when a country song is authentic if someone (generally the singer) has been “forsaken.” I have NO idea what this word means, but it’s gotta be the most derogatory feeling a “split tail” can bestow on a “good old boy.” Webster’s defines “forsaken” as “to quit or leave entirely; abandon; desert.”

Wow, now I see what “all of the fuss is all about.”

In the big city, things are much brighter. In Boston everything is “wicked cool.” In New York, something demanding great respect is “sick.”

In Chicago, things are “boss” and in L.A. you might refer to your prized possessions as being “dope.” I may not be “for real” about these terms’ specific locales. I just watch a lot of television.

Speaking of television, or reality, or reality television, you can always tell if a female has truly made the leap from teenager to adult by her use of the word “like.” If she like, likes something, like a lot, then she’ll like say like, like a lot when trying to like express her like, feelings about it and all. I got in trouble once by counting out loud each “like” one particular lady spoke in a single verbal exchange with me. It was 47. Check please!

But I’m not immune myself. My favorite expression when “testifying” that I’m “on the same page” as someone is to agree with each mutually heartfelt idea with a trademark “I’m with ya.” I probably say it, like, a little too much.

And for that, I’m sorry. I’m also sorry if this column seems “phoned in” but I’m “on holiday” this week. Cheers!

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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SCREEN

Film Feature

Life Is Boring and So Is Larry Crowne

By John DeVore, Pulse Film Critic

I

don’t often walk out of a film. I am willing to sit through the most offensive, gratuitous, disgusting drivel Hollywood has to offer. Low-budget horror, clichéd comedy, overacted melodrama, and over-the-top action all manage to keep me in my seat, even if it’s only because I paid for it.

I walked out of Larry Crowne after an hour. It isn’t because it was bad, necessarily. Tom Hanks is an excellent actor, charming and adorable, even in his worst films. But Larry Crowne had a different problem, a problem that just couldn’t be solved during production. Maybe it’s because it was filmed in nine weeks. Maybe it was because the actors all worked 9-5, saw their families at night, having no real investment in the project because of the closeness of the studio. Maybe there just wasn’t a story to tell.

Whatever the reason, the filmmakers of Larry Crowne managed to do something very difficult, even with bad scripts.

They managed to make a film where there is almost no conflict at all. If there is no conflict, there is no reason to care about the characters. So, after an hour, when nothing had really happened and nothing appeared to be about to happen, I started making a list of other things that would be a better use of my time. The evidence became clear; my $7 just wasn’t enough to justify wasting another half hour.

Here is an abbreviated list of what I could do rather

“After an hour, when nothing had really happened and nothing appeared to be about to happen, I started making a list of other things that would be a better use of my time.”

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than continue watching Tom Hanks be nice to everyone, in order from most important to least important: Child-rearing, schoolwork, housekeeping, laundry, yard work, dishwashing, sandwich-making, Facebooking, soap-opera watching, fingernail clipping, nap-taking, MySpacing and planking.

Larry Crowne tells the story of a nice guy who loses his job at a retail chain because he never went to college. So Larry goes back to college. He buys a scooter, meets some folks, connects with Julia Roberts, and does nice things. It is meant to be a film about the self-discovery that can take place during middle age. Instead, it is a film about how boring life is, no matter what happens. We meet several characters, all of whom have specific traits that make them seem relevant to the story, without actually having any depth. Some, like the aforementioned Julia Roberts, are defined by being pretty, unhappy with her blogging, pornography-watching husband and surly.

Cedric the Entertainer is the black neighbor. No one is anything other than what they seem. The plot plods along as if we are watching the world’s most boring reality show, where the characters are normal, the situations are plausible, and the ending easily guessed. The type of audience that might enjoy this film might also enjoy watching a pot boil. The difference is that the pot might be more unpredictable.

The performances in Larry Crowne are passable to good.

There are veteran actors here and they do their best with the material available. But the overall film is beyond tedious. Simply trying to write a brief synopsis of the plot is

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

difficult. Sitting through the entire plot, watching characters change from one cliché to the next has to be next to impossible.

Greater critics than I were able to do so. But greater critics than I get paid a lot more. What I find confusing is that Tom Hanks co-wrote the film. He has been so successful in the past. That Thing You Do is one of my favorite films.

It was so good that Hanks named his production company, Playtone, after the fake record company in that film. Larry Crowne doesn’t deserve to be featured under the same banner.

Tom Hanks proves that a good actor involved in a film doesn’t necessarily guarantee its quality. Larry Crowne was rushed, seemingly through the entire production. Had the writers taken their time, there could have been much to say with this film. There might have been touching moments. There might have been honest personality quirks, quirks that humanize and allow the audience to identify with Larry. Instead, we are asked to accept a man whose only discernible feature is his inability to pronounce the word “spectacular.” Being annoying isn’t as endearing as Hanks wants us to believe.

Larry Crowne Directed by Tom Hanks Starring Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Cedric the Entertainer Rated PG-13 Running time: Too long

SCREEN

New In Theaters

Crossing The Final Wizardy Wands

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

The end begins as Harry, Ron, and Hermione return to Hogwarts to find and destroy the final horcruxes. But when Voldemort finds out about their mission, the battle we’ve all known has been coming—Harry vs. Voldemort—looms large on the horizon. It’s been ten years since the first “Harry Potter” hit screens, and in the eighth and final film we get the payoff we’ve all been waiting for, and not just fans of the series. Warner Brothers executives are also popping bottles of butterbeer over the most successful film series of all time, with worldwide grosses that boggle the mind.

Through multiple directors, an endless list of A-level talent sinking their teeth into some wonderfully juicy characters, and the remarkable maturation of stars Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint, the series has never failed to deliver both as adaptations of the books but also as stand-alone films in their own right. Though it is a bit bizarre to realize that the 8-year old fan who dressed up in a robe, glasses and a lightning-bolt scar scrawled on his head with a magic marker for the debut of the first film is now preparing for college, the fact is these films will appeal to generations to come. As for who wins between Harry and Voldemort... what, you think we’re going to spoil the movie now?

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint Directed by David Yates Winnie the Pooh While out looking for some honey, Winnie the Pooh is pulled into a quest to save Christopher Robin from an imaginary culprit. For kids out there not quite old enough for the often heavy subject matter of Harry Potter, Disney returns to golden form with a hand-drawn animated adaptation of five of A.A. Milne’s beloved Hundred Acre Wood stories. Bonus points to the studio for resisting the temptation to cast well-known stars as voice actors (Craig Ferguson being about the biggest celebrity in the cast). And for fans of Winnie, Roo, Eeyore, Christopher Robin, et al it’s a welcome return home for some of our favorite childhood friends. And let’s be honest, Winnie just wouldn’t look right with the full Pixar treatment; some animated films are best done in the old fashioned way.

Starring Jim Cummings, Craig Ferguson, Peter Cullen Directed by Stephen J. Anderson and Don Hall Phase 7 As a pandemic spreads across Buenos Aires, Coco looks to protect his pregnant wife Pipi inside their quarantined apartment building by joining forces with his neighbor Horacio, who is stocked to the teeth with weapons.

Starring Daniel Hendler, Jazmín Stuart, Yayo Guridi Directed by Nicolás Goldbart Snow Flower and the Secret Fan A two-tiered story set in present-day Shanghai and 19th-century China. As longtime friends Nina and Sophia balance ca-

reers, husbands, and families, they look to the past to understand their ancestral connection as evidenced by the story of Snow Flower and Lily, a pair of 7-year-old girls who are matched as laotong—or “old sames”, friends who are closer than husband and wife and are bound together for eternity.

Starring Bingbing Li, Gianna Jun, Vivian Wu Directed by Wayne Wang Salvation Boulevard Deadhead-turned-born-again-Christian Carl Vanderveer finds himself framed for murder by his town’s beloved pastor, who accidentally shot his ideological rival, Dr. Paul Blaylock and left him for dead.

Starring Greg Kinnear, Pierce Brosnan, Marisa Tomei Directed by George Ratliff www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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ENTERTAINMENT

Free Will Astrology

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The great-grandson of a slave, Cancerian Thurgood Marshall (1908-1993) was America’s first African-American Supreme Court Justice.

According to Thurgood, a play about his life that appeared on HBO, his unruly behavior as a school kid played a role in launching him toward his vocation. As punishment for his bad behavior, his teacher exiled him to a storage room where he was instructed to study the U.S. Constitution—a document he would later be called on to interpret during his service on the high court. I foresee a version of this scenario playing out in your immediate future, Cancerian.

Mischief could lead to opportunity. Blessings might evolve out of shenanigans. Bending the rules may bring rewards.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Do you mind if I call you “The Original Liontamer”? I know it sounds a bit extravagant, maybe even pretentious, but it really fits you right now.

More than any other sign of the zodiac, you have the power to control the wild, ferocious forces of the unconscious.

You’re the fluid flowmaster in charge of making the beastly energy behave itself; you’re the crafty coordinator of the splashy, flashy kundalini; you’re the dazzling wizard of the dizzy whirling whooshes. Here’s a tip to help you soothe the savage rhythms with maximum aplomb: Mix a dash of harmonious trickery in with your charismatic bravado.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): You have maybe ten more days left to locate the healthiest possible gamble for the second half of 2011. I’m referring to a smart risk that will bring out the best in you, expand the hell out of your mind, and inspire you to shed at least 10 percent of your narcissism and 15 percent of your pessimism. Trust your gut as much as your brain, Virgo. It will be important to have them both fully engaged as you make your foray all the way out there to the edge of your understanding.

Solution To Last Week's Crossword

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “He got a big ego, such a huge ego,” sings Beyonce in her song “Ego.” “It’s too big, it’s too wide / It’s too strong, it won’t fit / It’s too much, it’s too tough / He talk like this ‘cause he can back it up.” I would love to be able to address that same message to you in the coming days, Libra. I’m serious. I’d love to admire and marvel at your big, strong ego. This is one of those rare times when the cosmic powers-that-be are giving you clearance to display your beautiful, glorious self in its full radiance.

Extra bragging is most definitely allowed, especially if it’s done with humor and wit. A bit of preening, mugging, and swaggering is permissible as well.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Dear Rob Brezsny: Please, sir, if you could do me a cost-free favor and tell me something special about my upcoming future, I would be amazingly glad and would spread good will about you everywhere. My age is 34 and I am sharply eager to know in detail about my next five years at least -- any big good or bad predictions. Kindly be very specific, no cloudy generalizations. - Fayyaz Umair Aziz, First-Degree Scorpio.”

Dear Fayyaz: I’m happy to inform you that your future is not set in stone; you have the power to carve out the destiny you prefer. And it so happens that the next four weeks will be prime time for you Scorpios to formulate a clear master plan (or reformulate your existing one) and take a vow to carry it out with impeccability.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): One of my readers sent me an interesting tale. He said the teacher Rudolf Steiner “once had a devotee who complained that after years of meditating and studying sacred texts he had not yet had a spiritual experience. Steiner asked him if he’d noticed the face of the conductor on the train on which they were riding. The man said no. Steiner replied, ‘Then you just missed a spiritual experience.’” This is a good tip for you to keep in mind in the coming weeks, Sagittarius.

It’ll be a time when you could dramatically expedite and intensify your education about spiritual matters by noticing the beauty and holiness in the most mundane things.

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): I’ve got two bits of information for you late bloomers out there; two inspirational messages to quell your worry about how long everything seems to be taking to unfold for you. First comes this fact: While some oak trees begin growing acorns after two decades, many don’t produce a single acorn until they’re 40 or even 50 years old. Your second message is from poet Robert Bly: “I know a lot of men who are healthier at age 50 than they’ve ever been before, because a lot of their fear is gone.” Keep the faith, Capricorn—and continue your persistent efforts.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Russia has more psychic healers than medical doctors. Research done by the World Health Organization says so. While licensed physicians number around 640,000, there are 800,000 witches and wizards who use occult means to perform their cures.

Personally, I prefer a more balanced ratio. I feel most comfortable when there are equal amounts of officially sanctioned practitioners and supernaturally inspired mavericks. In fact, that’s my guiding principle in pretty much every situation. I want as many unorthodox rebels who mess with the proven formulas as serious professionals who are highly skilled at playing by the rules. That helps keep both sides honest and allows me to avoid being led astray by the excesses and distortions of each. May I recommend a similar approach for you in the coming week?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “The most frequently leveled criticism of Jimmy Fallon is that he laughs too much.”

So begins a New York magazine profile of the late-night talk show host. “He laughs before jokes, after jokes, during jokes.” He is “TV’s most inveterate cracker-upper.”

Cynics point to this as proof that he’s suffering from a profound character defect. But there is another possibility, says New York: “Fallon laughs so much because he’s just having a really good time.” According to my reading of the astrological omens, Pisces, you’re primed to have a Fallon-like week—a period when the fun is so liberating and the play is so cathartic and the good times are so abundant that you’ll be in a chronic state of amusement.

In response, people addicted to their gloom and doom might try to shame you. I say: Don’t you dare let them inhibit your rightful relief and release.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In the coming days you have permission from the universe to dwell less on what needs to be resisted, protested, flushed out, and overcome. Instead you have license to concentrate on what deserves to be fostered, encouraged, bolstered, and invited in. Sound like fun? It will be if you can do it, but it may not be as easy to accomplish as it sounds. There are many influences around you that are tempting you to draw your energy from knee-jerk oppositionalism and cynical naysaying. So in order to take full advantage of what life is offering you, you will have to figure out how to rebel in a spirit of joy and celebration.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Dreams are today’s answers to tomorrow’s questions,” said the seer Edgar Cayce. That’s your thought for the week, Taurus. Not just in dreams, but in your waking life as well, you will be experiencing insights, hearing stories, and getting messages that provide useful information for the crucial questions you have not yet framed, let alone posed. I hope that by telling you this, I will expedite your work on formulating those pertinent questions.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “The most important thing in acting is honesty,” said Hollywood actor George Burns.

“If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” The same thing is true about life itself in the coming weeks, Gemini. The more you dispense the raw truth—even if you have to push yourself to do it—the more successful you’ll be. Being a fount of radical authenticity might feel like a performance at first, but it’ll eventually get easier, more natural.

ENTERTAINMENT

Jonesin' Crossword — "Nose Job" Across 1 Hit in the ring 4 Llama lookalike 10 “___ la Vida or Death and All His Friends” (Coldplay album) 14 “Can ___ now?”

15 Play ___ (feign death to trick a predator) 16 “The pressure ___” 17 “Black Swan” footwear 19 NPR correspondent Totenberg 20 “I’d Rather Go Blind” singer ___ James 21 L.A.’s area 23 Schedule abbr.

24 Emotional debate topic 28 Photographer Adams 29 Apprehensive feeling 30 Toast at a bar mitzvah 35 Business execs who crunch numbers 36 Bubble gum sold in pouches

40 Tramp’s companion 41 Do story time for (the kids) 42 Deck out 44 Packs down 48 It may be answered with “Who, me?”

53 1988 Dennis Quaid remake 54 “___ Johnny!”

55 Cough syrup amts.

57 Figure skating move 59 What you might say after hearing 17-, 24-, 36- or 48-across?

62 Other, in Spanish 63 Complete 64 Genetic material 65 Reasons 66 Anne Rice vampire 67 Lovemaking Down 1 Agree 2 First name in mystery authors

3 “Love Is a Wonderful Thing” singer Michael 4 Mimic 5 Auction section 6 “Hey, over here!”

7 Take ___ in the dark 8 Actress Kaley ___ of “The Big Bang Theory” 9 “...sure plays ___ pinball” 10 Sports announcer Scully 11 Question asked many times in “Marathon Man” 12 “Reversal of Fortune” family name 13 Wreath-like garlands 18 Back muscles 22 Non-solid state: abbr.

25 Taco ___ 26 Stomach trouble 27 Quite 31 Possess, to a Scotsman 32 ___ Khan 33 Birth control option

34 ___ World Peace (Ron Artest’s newly-proposed name) 36 Talk smack about 37 Image worship 38 Greek wrap 39 Anorak, e.g.

40 Didn’t attract attention 43 Traditional Japanese drama 45 Tall tale 46 They’re playing to the camera 47 Lying on one’s back 49 Pelvic floor exercise 50 “Fame” actress Cara 51 Egg holders 52 Astronaut’s outerwear 56 Lay’s competitor to Pringles 58 “___ in ‘zebra’” 60 Shooting org.

61 “Hill Street Blues” rank: abbr.

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0530

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Ask A Mexican

No Mas Down on the Farm Dear Mexican, Say the immigrant makes a few bucks and goes back to his/her hometown. Think they’ll put up with the shit that prompted them to move in the first place? (How ya’ gonna keep them down on the farm…).

— Putting the Red into Redneck Dear Gabacho, Absolutely not. I love how Know Nothings are currently calling Mexicans cowards for supposedly not confronting the narcos down south, for abandoning their homeland for a new país (funny how they shut up when you present the same slurs about their ancestors), when those supposedly weakwilled wabs have pushed Mexico out of the Third World and into the lower rungs of the First World over the past 25 years via their remittances and newfound libertarianism.

I’ll let you read the full explanation in my book (hint: look for the respuesta that has the tres por uno program in it), but the short response for you ahorita is that these immigrants have brought back democracy and infrastructure to their ranchos that the Mexican elite would’ve preferred had never come. The only problem, of course, is that though the immigrants still return to the farm as often as possible, they’re never coming back for good—for that phenomenon, I urge you to read Sam Quinones’ True Tales from Another Mexico, which I’ve probably plugged 28 times in this pinche column and will plug forevermore because it’s that amazing and insightful—even more so that this infernal weekly babada.

Dear Mexican, I have a Mexican-American friend who loves boxing (who doesn’t?) just as much as I do, but he hates Manny Pacquiao. He and I would sometimes get into an argument (friendly but passionate), especially because he seems to resent the label which many in the press and boxing fans have given Pacquiao: “The Mexicutioner.” I think he’s taking it too personally, which is quite amusing, actually. But do you think most Mexicans are like my friend, i.e., Pacquiao haters like Mayweather? Or do you think Pacquiao has more Mexican fans than Mexican haters?

— Canelo over Julio Cesar Chavez, Jr.

Gustavo Arellano

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“Though the immigrants still return to the farm as often as possible, they’re never coming back for good.”

Dear Wab: The Pac-Man has many more Mexican fans than haters—and even those haters don’t despise him so much as give the fierce Filipino his respeto. Sure, Pacquiao has beat down Mexicans like a migra agent—Marco Antonio Barrera, Erik Morales, Antonio Margarito, Oscar de la Hoya, and Juan Manuel Marquez (who he’s scheduled to fight this fall), but Mexicans always appreciate small, humble brawlers in the classic Mexi mold.

That’s why we’ll support Cuba but resent the United States—stay in your own weight class, you know? More importantly, beaner boxing buffs despise

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 28 | July 14, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Floyd Mayweather, Jr.—not because he’s a negrito (we loved Mike Tyson, after all) but because the socalled Pretty Boy refuses to fight Pacquiao to settle, once y para siempre, who’s the best pound-forpound boxer in the world. We can appreciate people who kick our ass, but to not even try and fight us?

You might as well be the American Southwest.

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK: A Better Life is The Bicycle Thief for Latino USA, a touching, bitter, beautiful tale about an undocumented gardener and his son looking for the stolen truck that’s their livelihood. It’s not a perfect película—almost every Mexican-immigrant dad I know speaks to their children en español, and the Chivas soccer propaganda is a bit much (¡viva Pumas de la UNAM, cabrones!)—but it’s a must-see film and that rare Hollywood effort that doesn’t resort to century-old stereotypes of spicy señoritas and greasers.

Director is Chris Weitz, the guy behind American Pie and About a Boy, and who is part-Mexi—who knew?

You do now! Demand it at your local megaplex, por favor.

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican. net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.youtube.com/askamexicano!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | July 14, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 28 | The Pulse

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