The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 21

FREE • NEWS, VIEWS, MUSIC, FILM, ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • MAY 26, 2011 • VOLUME 8, ISSUE 21 • WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

Nightfall 2011 - Friday Night!

Elizabeth & The Catapult

MAY

26 2011

ontents C

VOLUME 8, ISSUE 21 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Want to watch a video of this week's Nightfall headliner? Download the FREE "QR Reader" on your smartphone and scan this code.

“There are times when all you might feel like doing is sitting awhile and dreaming—and we couldn’t agree more—but from music to kayaking, from futbol to Hairspray, you really can’t say ‘there’s nothing to do’ this summer.”

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— Contributing Editor Janis Hashe on The Pulse Annual Summer Guide

“The label is just a way for Young Monster to get more involved with the music scene in Chattanooga.”

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— Nick Dupey on the new "vinyl-only" record label he co-founded.

“Imagine being at home trying to enjoy SpongeBob SquarePants when someone randomly calls you from a traffic jam to see if you can tell them when the wreck ahead will be cleared up.”

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— Alex Teach on some of the random questions asked of cops.

“Jaws wouldn’t spare a priest because he was kind. Why would a predatory creature like a mermaid? They’ve still got to eat, right?”

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—John DeVore on Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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NEWS Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Jaye Brewer, Rick Leavell, Michelle Pih Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Leanne Strickland Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Pulse Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Rob Brezsny Dave Castaneda, Chuck Crowder John DeVore, Julianne Hales Janis Hashe, Matt Jones Louis Lee, Kelly Lockhart Robert McCrary, Ernie Paik Sam Reilly, Alex Teach Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Editorial Interns Lauren Haynes, Taylor Ralph Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

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Pulse Beats

"Q"

Chattanooga Getting Lots Of National Attention

“Soddy Daisy still has the lowest tax rate of any full-service city in Hamilton County.”

— Soddy Daisy Vice Mayor Janice Cagle after the city commission approved a 47 percent property tax increase,

It seems during the past few weeks you haven’t been able to turn on a TV without seeing our fair city prominently featured. The first major notice came during the airing of ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition program two Sundays ago when we all got to see the final results of all the hard work done by local volunteers to build a new house for the Sharrock family, whose son suffers from a brittle bone disease.

The city was as much a star of the show as the Sharrock family, with special attention paid to both the Creative Discovery Museum and the Chattanooga Zoo, both of which can only benefit from such positive coverage. Not to mention the hundreds upon hundreds of volunteers who helped build a new house for a charming little boy and his family.

And while Extreme Makeover: Home Edition has decent ratings, it is dwarfed by the attention paid to Fox’s ratings juggernaut American Idol.

With the ascension of Rossville native Lauren Alaina to the finals (the results of which aired after our print deadline), Fox camera crews have been all over the city during the past two weeks.

Her visit home as part of the top three contestants drew crowds to the airport, larger crowds to the various parades, and even larger crowds to Coolidge Park for Alaina’s mini-concert. The coverage did take a bit of a somber note when dealing with the aftermath of the recent tornadoes, but even then found a story of heroism from a young boy who helped rescue his family from the ruins of their house.

Then came this week, when media crews from across the country and around the world descended en masse

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

on the Scenic City to cover the official grand opening of Volkswagen’s assembly plant in Enterprise South.

News crews from as far away at Tokyo and Beijing were on hand, as well as dignitaries ranging from Governor Haslam and Senator Corker to the many local political and business leaders who helped convince the German automaker to locate in Hamilton County.

Being featured on entertainment television shows is nice, and often fun to watch as we try to spot our friends and neighbors getting a split-second amount of screen time, but the coverage of Volkswagen has a far more beneficial impact on the region. The more Chattanooga and the surrounding areas get mentioned as positive places for businesses to locate, the better it is for of us.

From Volkswagen to Alston to Wacker Chemie to Amazon.com, we’ve had once major economic success story after another. And representatives from the Chattanooga Area Chamber of Commerce say there are still more companies, both large and small, who are seriously considering locating in the area. The efforts of our local leaders, both in the government and in the business community, have really paid off over the past several years.

As much as the average citizen may like complaining about the problems of the city—and there are always problems with any community our size—the bottom line is that we live in a dynamically growing and energized region. We have come a long way from the days of, “Aren’t you that town in that old song?” Chattanooga is firmly on the map, and that’s just the way we like it.

News Briefs • Having experienced a muted level of growth earlier in the year, local home sales in April declined slightly from March and showed a more dramatic drop in year-to-year sales from 2010, according to data released by the Multiple Listing Service (MLS) of the Greater Chattanooga Association of Realtors. In April, Southeast Tennessee and the Northwest Georgia area saw the sale of 484 residential units, a 4.9 percent decrease compared to the previous month’s sales, and a drop of 21.9 percent from the same period of last year. Local Realtors Association President Jennifer Grayson said that the Association’s members are continuing to witness the “hangover” from last year’s homebuyer’s tax credit.

• In response to the April 27 tornadoes, the Tennessee Department of Insurance has opened an office in Hamilton County to assist consumers who are having difficulties with their insurance agency. The Consumer Insurance Services Agency handles most insurance issues and investigates complaints against insurance companies and agents, as well as enforcing state insurance laws. The office is inside the McDaniel Building at 455 North Highland Park Avenue, near the intersection of Third Street and Holtzclaw Avenue. It’s open Monday through Friday from 9 a.m. until 5:30 p.m.

NEWS

Opinion

The Thinning Blue Line Amazing job by Alex Teach in his article this past week. Anything else I might say would never do it justice. He will win a Pulitzer some day. Chattanooga is lucky to have him in both the role of a police officer and an excellent writer.

Arch C. Willingham IV

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

City Slow To Clean Up I know that the City of Chattanooga has been busy with all the clean-up of the storm damage, but just how long does it take for the city to pick up brush? I have three internet requests and two phone calls to 311. On the last call I was told that I need to go on Tuesday nights at 10th and Lindsey at 6 p.m. to voice my opinion. Not so great customer service, I must say.

Kevin Wilson Spending Priorities City taxpayers are obligated to pay city employees for their 40 hours a week, health benefits, vacations and sick leave. City taxpayers are not obligated to construct a $3.5 million dollar Wellness Center with annual maintenance and labor costs

at the expense of other city services and needs, such as police, education/education facilities, health services for the needy, the homeless as well as roads, sewers, solid waste, recycling, etc. It is the obligation of the city employees to take care of their own health, not the city taxpayers. City

employees can use their “city pay” to purchase memberships at The Rush, The Barn, etc. or purchase their own weights and chin-up bars to use at home; sit-ups and push-ups in their living rooms before coming to work and jogging around their neighborhood or on the Riverwalk. The proposed site for the Wellness Center should be used for a downtown police station instead.

Frank DePinto State Attack on Teachers The Tennessee legislature is continuing to strip teachers of their ability to effectively negotiate for better classrooms for students and better working conditions for their profession. This anti-teacher legislation will decrease the rights of teachers to effectively negotiate a contract covering their salary, benefits, working conditions, school safety, class size, planning time, time to teach, length of the school day, scheduling and other priorities. Republicans simply don’t want public education to exist in this state at all. This is a political game, pure and simple.

Skip Cauthorn www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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NEWS

Politics & Crime A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, May 31 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

6. Ordinances – First Reading: a) An ordinance providing for an Interim Budget and appropriating funds for the usual and ordinary expenses of the City Government for the months of July, August, and September, 2011, pending the adoption of the 2011-2012 annual budget.

Springtime, when a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love, and politicians turns their attention to matters of the budget. While the council wrestles with the mayor’s proposed budget for the 2011-2012 fiscal year, it still has to make sure the bills are getting paid in the current fiscal year.

And since the city, like so many other government bodies, never seems to be able to work things out ahead of time, that means it also has to scramble to adopt an interim budget. Though such budgets usually sail through with limited debate, there are still members of the council and outside groups that will question several items within the proposal. In other words, business as usual for this current crop of often-contentious council members.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

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• A Bradley County sheriff’s deputy is recovering from injuries received after an unusual accident...a collision with a cow.

According to the sheriff’s department, the deputy had been dispatched to Spring Place, responding to reports of a loose cow in the roadway. When the deputy went back for a second look, the bovine moved in front of the patrol car. The collision rolled the cow on top of the vehicle, trapping the deputy.

Emergency personnel had to cut the officer of the car to get him to the hospital, where he was treated for minor injuries. However, officials were unable to confirm the condition of the cow.

• Another Friday night, another round up of prostitutes and the men who solicit them.

Officers from the Special Investigations Division of the Chattanooga Police Department conducted an undercover operation that led to the arrest of seven suspected prostitutes and two men who tried to hire a lady of the evening while the sting operation was underway. Plainclothes officers approached suspected prostitutes to see if a “date” could be made, and when a price was named, the

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

women were taken into custody.

The operation was conducted in the East Lake, Rossville Blvd. and Highland Park areas, places that have a long history with this sort of criminal activity. Of note from the report was the fact that several of the women have multiple arrests on their record for the same activity, yet seem undeterred in following their chosen profession. As for the men arrested, theirs was more a case of really, really bad timing on their part.

• Stage performers used to worry that if they didn’t do well, they’d end up dodging fruit thrown by an annoyed audience.

One doesn’t expect the same sort of treatment while driving, however. Yet police were called to a Towne Hill Drive residence after the owner of a truck said their vehicle was dented by a tossed apple. The woman told officers that she was getting out of her vehicle after arriving home when she saw an apple flying towards her, striking the side of the car with enough force to cause damage.

She pointed towards a nearby apartment where she claimed she saw a young man she believed was responsible for the flying fruit.

Officers knocked on the door and the resident acknowledged he had thrown the fruit,

but denied he had done so intentionally. An arrangement was reportedly worked out to cover the cost of the damage.

• High-school house parties are considered a rite of passage for many teenagers—but that never excuses the presence of alcohol or the lack of adult supervision. One such party ended abruptly early Sunday morning on Fairview Avenue when police responded to several noise complaints. When they arrived at the residence, they found a house full of teenagers, a large amount of alcohol, and no responsible adults. Officers conducted field sobriety tests on the teens present, taking 25 of them to the county jail on charges of underage drinking. Officers are continuing to investigate where the teens acquired the alcohol and how they were able to organize such a large gathering by themselves.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

OPINION

Beyond The Headlines

Crashing Downtown in Grand Style

By Robert McCrary, Pulse Contributing Writer

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ummer is a time for exploration. That can take place in the far reaches of the globe—or it can happen in your own city. As the icy grip of the past winter is becoming a distant memory, it’s surprising to see what transformations have happened on the landscape as the new season takes hold. Case in point is a unique project getting ready to open its doors on June 3. The Crash Pad is an urban hostel that has been in the major phases of construction for the past six months and is now receiving the finishing touches.

The Crash Pad concept is the idea of Max Poppel and Dan Rose, two rock-climbing and outdoor enthusiasts who hail from Massachusetts. It was climbing that brought them here and that vantage point is where the hostel idea was born. In many ways, it’s a classic case of “find a need and fill it.”

Max Poppel explained the hostel’s inception. “We didn’t choose Chattanooga for this project per se, but for the amazing rock climbing. After being here for a couple years, we saw there was no basecamp for all the climbers coming through town, which led us to want to make some kind of climber campground out by the climbing in the Suck Creek area.

After realizing how we’d be pigeonholing ourselves, mainly by ignoring all the people coming to town for the other amazing outdoor recreation Chattanooga has to offer, we wanted to broaden our concept.

We’d also noticed that there was a lack of affordable accommodations

in the downtown area. We’d both stayed in hostels before in Europe and thought this was a concept that Chattanoogans would embrace. So this lack of a community hub for adventurous travelers and lack of affordable accommodations downtown really made Chattanooga the perfect place to launch The Crash Pad.” The description of The Crash Pad as a “unique urban hostel” is almost an understatement. Throw out your preconceived notions of what a hostel is—though it’s possible you have no notion of what a hostel is at all. No matter what, this is an impressive build with details you’d find in boutique hotels. And it’s these details that have truly set The Crash Pad apart from traditional hostels and elevated the excitement of its construction. Dan and Max worked with local architects, builders and craftsmen to achieve melding of bespoke features, surfaces and fixtures. from custom-made polished concrete sinks by Set In Stone to original wood-worked bed frames and “super bunks” from Haskel Sears design. There is also a outdoor pavilion, created from reclaimed materials sourced from an existing structure on the property. The Crash Pad was designed by arcitect Blythe Bailey of River Street Architecture and the

“This lack of a community hub for adventurous travelers and lack of affordable accommodations downtown really made Chattanooga the perfect place to launch The Crash Pad.”

pavilion was designed by his colleague at River Street, Thomas Palmer.

If you’re referring out-of-town friends or family, or perhaps looking for accommodations downtown yourself, The Crash Pad is worthy of some summer exploration.

You can take part in the grand ribbon-cutting ceremony and open house on Friday, June 3. See for yourself what makes this a unique place.

You can also win a night’s stay for the June 10 opening night of Riverbend in the Summer Crash Pad contest!

Go to www.chattanoogapulse.com and click the “contest” link for the entry page.

The Crash Pad: An Uncommon Hostel 29 Johnson Street (423) 648-8393. www.crashpadchattanooga.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

The Pulse Summer Guide

“In summer, the song sings itself.”

—William Carlos Williams

The above quotation might well be true, but we would like to sing along, with a chorus of stories letting you know

some of the places to be and things to not-miss this summer. There are times when all you might feel like doing is sitting awhile and dreaming—and we couldn’t agree more—but from music to kayaking, from futbol to Hairspray, you really can’t say “there’s nothing to do.” Flip through this annual Pulse Summer Guide and pick your favorites. But don’t recycle it just yet. We’re betting you’re going to want to keep this one for future summer pleasure reference.

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

COVER STORY

The Pulse Summer Guide

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Dave Castaneda’s Summer Music Picks

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his summer music season is one of the best I’ve seen in a while! There is so much great music coming through and around the Chattanooga area, it leaves music lovers with no excuse to miss out on the festivities. If the stampeded box offices are any indication of things to come for the summer, then this list of events are a must to check out!

1. DEXFEST Dandridge, TN, June 16–18, www.dexfest.com Dexfest is a very intimate festival out by the gorgeous lakes of Dandridge, TN. Dexfest rounds up its acts with some of the most cutting-edge musicians in electronic music, such as Ghostland Observatory, Skrillex, Big Gigantic, Emancipator, Boombox, Metropolis, Eliot Lipp, Two Fresh, Break Science, Michel Menert, DeathFace, & Sub Shanti. Chattanooga is very well represented at this festival, bringing in bands and producers such as Machines Are People Too, Bassel, Digital Butter, KRRS24, and New Planet.

2. FLUX PAVILLION & DOCTOR P with BASSEL The Valarium, Knoxville, TN, Sunday, June 19 If you end up going to Dexfest, this is a show that you cannot miss: the rare U.S. appearance of Flux Pavillion and Doctor P paired with local dubstep producer Bassel. Doctor P and Flux Pavillion are coming in all the way from the U.K. and are currently are on top of the charts worldwide in the bass heavy world of dubstep.

3. FREE ENERGY, MACHINES ARE PEOPLE TOO Nightfall, 7 p.m., Friday, July 22 Machines Are People Too finally take the stage at Miller Plaza opening up for Free Energy, an act from Philadelphia.

The performance marks one of the first times that the Chattanooga masses will have ever been exposed to a solid indierock/electronic act. If you haven’t experienced the hype that has been selling out JJ’s before midnight, then you’ll definitely need to come down and bring your dancing shoes.

4. EXPLOSIONS IN THE SKY Bonnaroo 2011, June 9–12

Explosions in the Sky are a post-rock group hailing from Austin, TX. They just released a new record and have recorded the entire sound track for Friday Night Lights. I would recommend getting a cozy blanket and chilling out to the music—it will be a musical experience that will set you into solid mood.

5. DO YA HEAR WE MUSIC FESTIVAL June 2–5, Sluggo’s and JJ’S Bohemia, www.doyahearwe.com The fifth installment of the annual punk rock music festival, which spans across four days and two venues while putting a spotlight on the Chattanooga punk rock community.

Featuring bands that come from all corners of the United States, this should prove to be a solid and interesting mix of music. The festival concludes with a potluck!

6. HUGO with DIGITAL BUTTER Nighfall, 7 p.m., Friday, July 1 Hugo is a soul musician just signed to Jay-Z’s Roc Nation record label and an artist to watch in 2011. Digital Butter is a funky soul group that has an electrifying performance that instantly demands your attention with deep vocals and an amazing production.

7. THE MACHINE with THE CHATTANOOGA SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA Riverbend Festival, 9 p.m., Sunday, June 12 You receive the following things when you sign up for this show at Riverbend; an amazing light show, great music spanning the Pink Floyd catalogue, and a unique jam session with the Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra.

8. MOONLIGHT BRIDE, THE CONSTELLATIONS, and YOUNG ORCHIDS JJ’S Bohemia, 10 p.m., Saturday, June 4 It’s been a while since Moonlight Bride has played in Chattanooga and it’s been even longer since the seven-piece wonder that is The Constellations has graced the rolling hills of our river city. Get here early because this show will be packed!

hattanooga, for reasons largely due to both convenient geography (being located between several large metropolises) and acceptance of pastimes that are little off the beaten path, has become home to a regular number of science-fiction and fantasy conventions. The grand dame is Chattacon, which has been held every January for the past 37 years.

But for those that enjoy their science fiction with a touch of sun and fun, the second-oldest confab of all things otherworldly is LibertyCon, which has anchored the sci-fi summer for more than two decades. Even the most ardent Klingon, wizard, Stormtrooper or pirate needs a little summer vacation. One can’t be battling dragons and space rangers nonstop throughout the year without a bit of a break.

For the uninitiated, LibertyCon is known by the cognoscenti as a “literary SF con”, which means that both the guests and the attendees are involved primarily with books.

Now, this is not to suggest that it akin to a gathering of dusty, quiet librarian-types; nearly all of modern science fiction traces its roots to a handful of authors from the 1950s and ’60s. It’s just that the average LibertyCon attendee enjoys a good book as much as they do a good movie or the latest episode of Fringe or Dr. Who. But LibertyCon, the July 15-17 weekend at the Comfort Inn & Suites in East Ridge, has even more to do with socializing than it does the printed word. Nearly all of the activities seem to revolve either around the hotel swimming pool or (somewhat) relaxed games of spades in the lobby areas.

Warning for the new folks: The version of spades played at LibertyCon is called “Killer Cutthroat” and is more akin to battling pirates than the game you played during high-school study hall. To the average LibertyCon player, nuclear war is a game; spades is serious.

Author S. M. Stirling is the guest of honor this year, best known for his “Draka” series of alternate-history novels and the more recent time travel/alternate-history “Nantucket” series and “Emberverse” series. Theresa Mather is the artist guest of honor, travelling from her home in Utah to share her considerable artistic talent (along with a love for carousel animals and small-town amusement parks).

Also among the guests are noted authors Stephanie Osborne, Allen Steele and Julie Cochran, plus about another 20-to-30 other authors, artists and scientists. In fact, if you have any interest in “real” science, the Mad Scientists Roundtable Discussion may be either the most informative or infuriating event you could attend—informative for those that want to know the latest that NASA is up to, and infuriating to those of us who know that the superstring M-theory of 11 dimensions is a much more plausible explanation for how the universe is constructed that those idiots who cling to their outdated quantum chaos theorems.

For fun, sun, cards and science (both real and fictional), the one place to be this summer is at LibertyCon. For more info and membership information, visit them at libertycon.org — Kelly Lockhart

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

The Pulse Summer Guide

Home Runs and Gooooooaaals

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here is nothing like summertime in the South. The warm summer weather inspires activities both leisurely and sweatproducing that we Southerners can enjoy. The traditions and pastimes of the South revolve around living easy and laid back. But there is certainly something that all Southerners love…our sports!

Chattanooga offers some of the greatest sporting events to be seen around the Southeast during the summer. Highlighted by the boys of summer with your own Chattanooga Lookouts, they offer several fun outings that can’t miss, including Firework Night every Friday night.

The Lookouts will entertain the Famous Chicken on Saturday June 25. Also, last summer’s sensation, Breakin B-Boy McCoy, will come back to AT&T Field on June 4 and July 30. The ZOOperstars also make a return trip to Chattanooga on July 16. To round out this summer’s

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Lookouts highlights, be sure to check out Used Car Night on August 13. Remember the Chattanooga Lookouts offer a great sporting atmosphere for a great price— tickets are only 5 dollars at the gate.

Along with the Chattanooga Lookouts, the Scenic City also provides one of the state’s best club sporting teams

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

in the Chattanooga Futbol Club, where every regular season match is full of funfilled excitement. With big hopes after winning their conference last season and reaching the finals, the CFC offers big time match-ups all summer long. The club will be playing host to the Monterrey Rayados under-20 team on July 4 at Finley Stadium. Also in July, they will be playing the MLS DC United’s under-23 team on the 23rd of July at Finley Stadium. The Chattanooga Futbol Club also offers youth soccer camps throughout the summer, so make sure to get your kids involved. Come out and support the Scenic City’s Championship Soccer Program.

Chattanooga has always offered some of the greatest summertime activities in the South and the sporting scene it is no different. So sit back, grab some ice tea and a lawn chair and enjoy one of the South’s finest traditions…our sports. — Sam Reilly

COVER STORY

The Pulse Summer Guide

Ernie Paik’s Summer Music Picks

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ot for the faint of heart, Dystopia 3.0: Experimental Audio/Visual Warfare, presented by the misfit sideshow (dare)devils of Subterranean Cirqus, features the biting “stand up tragedy” of spoken-word performer Bryan Lewis Saunders with mayhem from local noise-mongers Neon Viking Funeral, Secret Guilt, and Denounce and swamp-metal from Rat Babies of Athens, Ga. (May 26, JJ’s Bohemia) NPR commentator/storyteller and Duplex Planet ‘zine creator David Greenberger will headline this year’s Who-Fest, the region’s best-known folk arts festival, backed by the ol’ timey avant-garde of The Shaking Ray Levis; dulcimer player extraordinaire Christie Burns of the Folk School of Chattanooga presents a folk music showcase. (May 28-29, Renaissance Park) Curious and discriminating fans of instrumental guitar music will want to check out a pair of solo sets from Gyan Riley (son of minimalist composer Terry Riley), inspired by both J.S. Bach and John McLaughlin, and Shane Perlowin, the risk-taking, versatile, and inventive founder of Ahleuchatistas; both have an incredible agility and imagination. (May 28, Barking Legs Theater) Jill Andrews, formerly of the beloved Johnson City, Tenn. country-folk group the everybodyfields, forges ahead as a solo artist with heartfelt songwriting, a more poporiented musical approach, and her warm, sincere, and gorgeous voice. (June 2, Rhythm & Brews) The Do Ya Hear We? collective pretty much defines Chattanooga punk, and its annual festival is the best way to catch up with local favorites, including The Hidden Spots and ADD/C, and sample out-of-towners like RVIVR from Olympia, Wash. and the Gainesville, Fla. hip-hop concern Scum Of The Earth. (June 2-3, JJ’s Bohemia; June 4-5, Sluggo’s North) The sprawling outdoor insanity of Bonnaroo suits certain types of music, especially those that inspire the “spiritual hippie fullbody takeover” dance styles; the festival presents plenty of opportunities to shake it, including shows by Bootsy Collins & The Funk University, the sample-plundering dance-mob madness of Girl Talk, and the manic, dabke-style Syrian party music of Omar Souleyman. (June 9-12, Manchester, Tenn.)

The retro Nashville outfit Los Straitjackets has a shtick, purporting to be south-of-the-border musicians who wear Mexican wrestling masks—but it works, and they deliver tight surf-rock/ garage/rockabilly that will appeal to fans of Dick Dale and Link Wray. (June 10, Riverbend Festival) In jazz circles, Bob Dorough is a legend who has worked with the likes of Miles Davis and Blossom Dearie, but he’s best known for the educational songs he wrote and performed for Schoolhouse Rock!, including “Conjunction Junction” and “Lolly, Lolly, Lolly, Get Your Adverbs Here”; he’ll be backed by a special incarnation of The Shaking Ray Levis. (June 17, Riverbend Festival; June 18, JJ’s Bohemia) The acclaimed acoustic trio Carolina Chocolate Drops revives the black string-band traditions of pre-war jugband, banjo-and-washboard mountain folk music with a charged, fresh spirit. (June 18, Riverbend Festival) The New Dischord Festival, organized by composer/pianist Tim Hinck, aims to demonstrate that music is constantly evolving, featuring new classical, pop, and jazz forms from electropost-rock band Hands Off Cuba, eccentric popster Reeve Hunter, and NYC songwriter Aaron Roche, supplemented by a healthy dose of modern dance performances; British free improv saxophonist Trevor Watts and pianist Veryan Weston open the weekend festivities. (June 2426, various venues) The brutal, uncompromising Philly wrecking crew Satanized espouses “positive misanthropy” with its infamous explosive live shows and intense, punishing, mind-bending noise-rock, pushing listeners through numerous twists and turns in its dark sonic labyrinth. (June 25, Sluggo’s North) The “Queen of Rockabilly” Wanda Jackson built a remarkable career with her distinctively feisty, reedy voice and combination of glamour with attitude in the male-dominated rock-androll world; after over half-a-century in the biz, she can still bring it, having recently collaborated with Jack White on her new album The Party Ain’t Over. (August 12, Nightfall) Malian guitarist and singer Vieux Farka Touré follows impressively in the footsteps of his father, Ali Farka Touré, with stirring African blues, performed with unimpeachable chops and a penetrating, soulful delivery. (September 3, Riverfront Nights) www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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COVER STORY

The Pulse Summer Guide

The Summer of My YNGMNSTR

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ext week, local band Big Kitty will release its next single, “Waterfall of Love” as the first offering from Chattanooga-based YNGMNSTR Records, which specializes in old-school 7-inch 45-rpm vinyl singles. The band will unveil the new recording live – along with many other musical gems—at a release show on Saturday, May 28 at The Office, next to City Café on Carter Street.

Big Kitty has been making home recordings and playing concerts since 2000, first in Maryville, Tennessee and now in Chattanooga. In recent years, Big Kitty’s numbers have grown in evolving fashion from one Clark Williams (The New Binkley Brothers, The Fixins) to include five additional band members: Cole Champion (ADD/C, Future Virgins), Billy Joe Johnson (Future Virgins), Amanda Cagle (Trigger Mortis), Daniel Binkley (The New Binkley Brothers) and Yuriko Hoshino. They are a group of friends and intrepid explorers of the nether-dimensions that can be reached only through the constant playing of little songs.

Their first full-length album together, Florence, comes out this summer on Recess Records.

Big Kitty’s sound might be best described by this listener as a throwback to simple folk-based songs of the ’60s, with hints

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of Bob Dylan and Neil Young-like lyrics combined with vocal harmonies and simple melodies of perhaps the Everly Brothers.

It’s a nice departure from the sometimes overly stripped-down sounds of current nationally known favorites like Mumford & Sons. It’s solid and refreshing to say the least.

“The upcoming single features two eerie and enchanting songs—‘Waterfall of Love’ and ‘The Carp Song’—and each copy will be lovingly encased in its own hand screen-printed, full-color cover,” says Nick Dupey of YNGMNSTR Records.

YNGMNSTR is a Chattanooga based art collective that began in 2007 and specializes in book publishing design/art, record re-

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

lease and distribution and creative think tanking. The collective’s record label is led by Willy Divine (of the Future Virgins and Big Kitty), Nick Dupey and Zach Hobbs. Musically, YNGMNSTR is currently only releasing classic 45s, as in “big hole 7-inch”.

“The label is just a way for Young Monster to get more involved with the music scene in Chattanooga,” says Dupey. “We think that Big Kitty is an absolutely fantastic band and this is an amazing first record for both of us to get out before the full-length record releases this summer on Recess Records (and we firmly believe this will be a big album). We really have a deep love for incredible talent of our friends in this scene and this just seemed like the next logical step for the progression of Young Monster.”

The next YNGMNSTR release will be a single by locals The Fastboys called “The Kids are Back in School b/w Suck It.” In the meantime, be sure to come by The Office on May 28 to revel in the splendor that is Big Kitty. A mere $5 gets you into the show, as well as a brand new 7-inch record to take home with you.

After the release party, copies of the record will be available for sale at Leo Handmade on Frazier Avenue, Sluggo’s North Vegetarian Café on Cherokee Boulevard, and the Yngmnstr Records online store. — Chuck Crowder

COVER STORY

The Pulse Summer Guide

Best Bets for the Great Outdoors Ruby Falls and Rock City: Thrill seekers of all ages can head to Chattanooga’s Ruby Falls to give their newest attraction, the ZIPstream Aerial Adventure, a try. A challenge made up of suspended obstacle courses built in trees that includes ladders, nets, walkways, bridges, tunnels and zip lines, the ZIPstream Aerial Adventure provides the adrenaline rush that thrill-seekers crave along with some impressive views of the Tennessee Valley’s landscape. Rock City, another classic Chattanooga attraction, offers hiking trails and incredible views of Lookout Mountain and the surounding areas.

Outdoor Chattanooga Outdoor Chattanooga, an organization dedicated to making outdoor recreation an attractive, healthy and distinguishing lifestyle for Chattanooga residents as well as visitors, is a fantastic resource. Outdoor Chattanooga’s Ruth Thompson offered some great suggestions for adventures in and around the Scenic City.

Hiking There are a wide variety of local trails available. The Lookout Mountain Trail System has 40 miles of single track trail with loop hikes between 3 and 20 miles. The Upper Truck Trail is 6 miles of moderately easy terrain that offers hikers a glimpse into American history. For those interested in a shorter trail, at only .5 miles, the Glen Falls Trail is a short afternoon hike with beautiful waterfalls at the end and interesting rock features along the way. Raccoon Mountain features a 20 mile loop around the TVA Raccoon Mountain reservoir including the Laurel Point area which contains single track loops with impressive views of the Tennessee River Gorge. Families can enjoy picnic areas, playgrounds and ball fields in this area as well and learn about the Raccoon Mountain pump storage facility at the TVA Visitors Center.

Flat-Water Paddling A safer alternative to whitewater paddling, especially for the younger crowd, flat-water paddling is an easy-to-learn activity. Meandering through 20 miles of residential neigh-

borhoods in north Hamilton County, North Chickamauga Creek is the perfect place to enjoy a canoe or kayak. Take a quick trip on the two miles from the north to the south end of Greenway Farms. The inlet at the TVA Maple View Recreation Area also provides easy flatwater canoeing and kayaking with launches on both sides on Nickajack Lake. You can even catch the nightly exodus of thousands of gray bats from the Nickajack Cave during summer months. If canoeing is something you’d like to try but you don’t have a boat, plan a trip to The Chattanooga Nature Center on Lookout Creek at the foot of Lookout Mountain where you can rent everything you need for a canoe trip.

Whitewater Paddling Thrill-seekers enjoy some of the best whitewater rafting in the country right here in the Tennessee Valley. The Hiawassee River, which can be enjoyed via raft, inner tube or inflatable kayak, features class II rapids and a paddlers’ lunch spot on Big Bend. Tubes, funyaks and rafts can be rented at Hiwassee Outfitters and Webb’s Float Service. Those with a little courage can enjoy the Ocoee River near Cleveland.

Providing near constant action on class III rapids, some impressive scenery and a chance to swim, the Ocoee River was the site of the 1996 Olympic Kayaking event.

Camping Camping enthusiasts need not travel far to enjoy top-notch facilities. The Chilhowee Campground, for example, is quiet and secluded and features adjacent trails meandering throughout the Ocoee Ranger district. Cool

off on hot days by taking a dip in McKamy Lake.

This campground is first-come, first-serve and does not accept reservations. Another gem in the Tennessee Valley is Cloudland Canyon State Park in Georgia, which boasts some of the most incredible views in the country and accepts reservations for tent sites, R.V. sites, backcountry sites and cabins. For a more primitive camping experience on the water, pack up the canoes or kayaks and head to John A. Patten Island in Harrison Bay. — Julianne Hale Outdoor Chattanooga Activities (Free and Low-Cost) June 10–18: Bike to Riverbend www.outdoorchattanooga.com June 18, July 16, Aug. 20, Sept. 17, Oct. 15: Chickamauga Battlefield Bicycle Rides, www.outdoorchattanooga. com/2385.htm June 26, July 24, Aug. 28, Sept. 25, Oct. 23: Ride the Bend Historic Bicycle Tours, www.outdoorchattanooga. com/2411.htm June 3,4, Aug. 26, 27: Downtown Kayak Adventures, www.outdoorchattanooga.com July 7, 14, 21, 28: Sunset Kayak Tours, www.outdoorchattanooga.com Other Summer Outdoor Events: June 4-5: TN Valley Canoe Club Paddle School. Great, low cost opportunity to learn how to kayak/canoe whitewater or flat water. www.tvccpaddler.com June 11-12: Cysco Cycles 6 Hr XC Mtn. Bike Race, Triathlon and Youth Triathlon. www.sceniccitymultisport.com July 10: Chattanooga Waterfront Triathlon. www.team-magic.com/events/waterfront August 13: YMCA Strong Adventure Race. www.strongadventurerace.com August 20: John Bruner Memorial Missionary Ridge Road Race. www.chattanoogatrackclub.org August 20: Quintana Roo Booker T. Triathlon and Youth Triathlon. sceniccitymultisport.com August 21: Booker T. XC #2 Mtn. Bike Race. www.sceniccitymultisport.com August 27: Raft for the Cure. www.wildwaterrafting.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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OPINION

On The Beat

Getting Used to The Questions T

here are many things they do not tell you about being a cop.

Job satisfaction, excitement, boredom, discounted coffee…those are easy. But disease? Contempt? Revulsion? Despair?

Hopelessness? Cynicism (an obvious personal favorite)? Those you kind of have to feel your way through on your own, like trying to find a bathroom down a dark hallway in a friend’s (or recently acquainted stranger’s) house in the dead of night. Doesn’t upset me in the least, upon retrospect.

“The Questions”, though…they don’t warn you a bit about those. And you never, ever get used to them.

Consider it: Months of academy work. Field training.

On-the-job experience. Wrecks, arrests, fraud, deceptive practices…so much to learn, but you deal with them one at a time. And JUST when you think you have a handle on things…someone asks you if they can get “free gas” at the pumps where you fill your police car up at, too, “being taxpayer funded and all.” (Can I articulate a “blank look” in a written format? If so, imagine one now.)

Imagine being at home trying to enjoy SpongeBob SquarePants when someone randomly calls you from a traffic jam to see if you can tell them when the wreck ahead will be cleared up. What?

You’re mowing your lawn when someone stops and wants to know if you “know who that was that went to jail at the mall the other night.” (That’s it—the complete list of details.)

You’re shopping for a push mower in a home-andgarden center when the salesman innocently wants to know if you were there “when that preacher got arrested”, or when “that boy was killed”, wherever or whenever it may have occurred regardless of your shift or assignment.

They want to know if you’re going to do something

“about the drug problem”, or if “you’re finally going to quit wasting your time with prostitution, and concentrate on real crimes like fraud and murder.”

Ah-ha! Write THAT one down, boys!

And before the week (or day) is up, some simple numb-nut is finally going to ask “if you’ve ever shot somebody.” (*Note: The list of cops who has done such isselect and limited, but for those that have it’s a reasonably personal event/issue, regardless of the circumstances. It’s a situation that is judged not just by the courts and the subject’s family, but by the cop his or herself, and such scrutiny cannot be described in words nor competed with.

That said…don’t freakin’ ask that. Ever.

It’s stupid to the ones that haven’t, and incomprehensibly shallow and insensitive to the ones that have. Don’t be “That Guy.”) All that said, as far as the list of questions can go for the average “po-po” it doesn’t even stop with them. These questions (well intended as they may be) are asked of those that aren’t even cops; they’re asked of people that are simply related to, married to, or currently dating one.

Imagine: Some poor girl (or guy) is already having to contend with the headache of dating a po-lice (two syllables), and as if that isn’t enough they have their own family members and friends asking these same questions as if they’d have any more insight than the off-duty fuzz

Alex Teach

themselves.

It’s not the worst thing we have to contend with; quite the contrary, it’s the least of things on a professional level… but as a veteran of the fascinating things that can turn one’s head into a fractured mush, it’s reminiscent of the analogy of the jar filled with stones: You can fill it with rocks to the very top. You can fill the spaces between them with grains of sand, and you can fill it further yet with water.

But one more stupid question may, just may, shatter that sumbitch all over your countertop, and boys and girls…there could be hell to pay when that nut finally cracks.

You are generally good people with good-natured questions, but if you want to do something charitable for your local police this year and the years after, it’s easy, effortless, and free:

“Imagine being at home trying to enjoy SpongeBob SquarePants when someone randomly calls you from a traffic jam to see if you can tell them when the wreck ahead will be cleared up. What?”

Make a statement, not a query. You want to talk, you want to reach out—just don’t do it if the phrase ends in a question mark.

(If you have to ask, though…Save the questions for Friendly Officer Teach. I am here, after all…to Help You.) When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

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ARTS

Feature

Summertime and the Arting Is Easy

By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Edtior

July 3: Pops on the River Annual fave event with the CSO in Coolidge Park. www.chattanoogasymphony.org

W

ith all the things to do during the summer, don’t forget to make time for the arts! There’s something out there for every taste…and speaking of tastes, here are a few tasty samples to pin up on your fridge for future reference:

July 16: On Coal River (Back Row Film Series) Former coal miner struggles to change his West Virginia home. www.backrowfilms.com

Ongoing through October 4 (opened May 24): “KunstMuseum Wolfsburg at the Hunter Museum” Photography by Peter Keetman, sculpture by Nam June Paik, video works by Greg Hill. www.huntermuseum.org June 3: Opening reception for “Point Time” at AVA Large group of East Tennessee artists featured. www.avarts.org

July 21: Fireside Nights at Rock City Second of three free nights of local musicians. www.seerockcity.com

“Here are a few tasty samples to pin up on your fridge for future reference.”

June 10: Manifest Showcase at the CampHouse Shane Morrow, Amber Fults, Christian Collier www.thecamphouse.com

June 23: A Small Act (part of AEC’s Back Row Film Series) A Kenyan student pays forward the help he received as a child. www.backrowfilms.com

June 17: Rent opens on the Chattanooga Theatre Center Circle Stage Cult musical comes to Chattanooga for the first time. www.theatrecentre.com

July 1: Hairspray opens on the Chattanooga Theatre Centre Main Stage Can’t stop the motion of the ocean in this one, a camp classic and crowd favorite. www.theatrecentre.com

August 7: “Celebrate Local Food” at the Chattanooga Market See why local is fresher and more festive. www.chattanoogamarket.com

August 14: “Five Star Food Fight” at the Chattanooga Market Chefs throw down; who will win this year? www.chattanoogamarket.com August 18: Art & Copy (Back Row Film Series) Love Mad Men? See the real story of the ad world.

August 18: The Comedy of Errors opens at Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga One of Shakespeare’s first plays gets an outing at the Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga. www.ensembletheatreofchattanooga.com

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ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Steve Martin & The Steep Canyon Rangers Mr. Martin returns to his roots and his banjo. $39.50 - $68 8 p.m.

Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 642-TIXS. chattanoogaonstage.com

Thursday

Art + Issues: Progress and Preservation 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com The Women 7 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Mark Lowry 7 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland.

(423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu Lookouts vs. Huntsville Stars 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208.

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Steve Martin with the Steep Canyon Rangers 8 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov Hicks Gone Wild 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Friday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Nightfall Music Series: Elizabeth and The Catapult 5 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Southside ArtStroll 5 p.m. Planet Altered, 48 E. Main St. (423) 400-4100. www.planetaltered.com Born to be Wild 3D 6 p.m. Aquarium IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Ultimate Wave Tahiti 3D 7 p.m. Aquarium IMAX Theater, 1 Broad St. (800) 265-0695.

Mystery of Flight 138 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Gospel Explosion 2011 7 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov

Lookouts vs. Huntsville Stars 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Hicks Gone Wild 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Short Attention Span Theatre 3: “Speed Dating” 7:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. The Women 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Open Cup: Chattanooga Football Club vs. Winner of Game B 8 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. www.chattanoogafc.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Stand Up Comedy!

9:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

Collective Yard Sale 9 a.m. Collective Clothing, 3933 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 653-0158. facebook.com/collectiveclothing

The Women

“Jungle red nails” in Clare Booth Luce’s tale of female intrigue. $10-$25 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theater Center, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Chickamauga Turn 10 a.m. Tennessee Valley Railroad Museum, 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028. www.tvrail.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com Art till Dark Noon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.com Short Attention Span Theatre 3: “Speed Dating” 2 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave. The Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 5:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com The Queen’s Concert Series 7 p.m. Delta Queen, 100 River St. (423) 468-4500. www.deltaqueenhotel.com

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar

SATURDAY

Closing Reception: Ron Buffington/John Tallman

Last chance to see this cool show featuring local artists.

5:30 - 8 p.m.

Front Gallery, 1800 Rossville Ave., Ste. 1 & 2 (423) 648-2307.

Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Jericho Brass Band Concert 7 p.m. Lake Katoomba, 2001 Clift Eldridge Rd. www.jerichobrassband.org Lookouts vs. Huntsville Stars 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Hicks Gone Wild 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com The Women 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Saturday Night Movie with Ms. Kitty 8 p.m. Baylor School Student Center, 171 Baylor School Rd. (423) 267-8505. www.baylorschool.org

SUNDAY

The Mystery at the RedneckItalian Wedding 8 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Chattanooga Ghost Hunt 9:30 p.m. Patten Chapel, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com Stand Up Comedy!

10:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Chattanooga Market 11 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd. www.chattanoogamarket.com The Women 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Lookouts vs. Huntsville Stars 6:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Short Attention Span Theatre 3: “Speed Dating” 6:30 p.m. Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga, 1918 Union Ave.

The Queen’s Concert Series 7 p.m. Delta Queen, 100 River St. (423) 468-4500. www.deltaqueenhotel.com Open Cup: Semifinals Winners Play for the Cup 7 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. www.chattanoogafc.com The Masters of Funk Tour 7:30 p.m. Memorial Auditorium, 399 McCallie Ave. (423) 757-5156. www.chattanooga.gov Hicks Gone Wild 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Monday

Bluff and Bridges Downtown Tour 7 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Tuesday

Songwriter’s Line-up 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

WHO-FEST

Outsider art, visionary music and self-taught day in the park.

Free 10 a.m. – 6 p.m.

Renaissance Park, North Shore (423) 413-8999. www.whofest.com

Wednesday

Dynamo of Dixie Downtown Tour 10 a.m. Sheraton Read House, 827 Broad St. (423) 228-0448. chattanoogasidewalktours.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 100 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Ongoing

“Dinosaurs!”

Chattanooga Zoo, 301 North Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322. www.chattzoo.org Bob The Builder - Project: Build It Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org “Insight” River Gallery, 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com “Spring Salon in Color!”

Shuptrine Fine Art Group, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineartgroup.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Feature

Memorial Day Weekend Means Amberland

By Janis Hashe, Pulse Contributing Editor

L

ast week RootsFest, this week Amberland X, Perpetual Groove’s three-day music and arts festival. This yearly event offers six sets of music by Perpetual Groove and a special Sunday morning acoustic set called “Brockfast” by lead guitarist Brock Butler.

This year, the band has stepped up the Amberland experience by inviting a few other bands to the mix: Zoogma, The Mantras (from Greensboro, NC) Noise[ORG], Former Champions and Under The Porch. Each of these bands will bring a diverse feel as well as nonstop music throughout the weekend.

novative and fresh.” So the band invited friends.

“It seemed like a logical step in the Amberland progression,” Hruby says. “We wanted to showcase bands we felt were important to the scene at this moment; bands that we actually enjoy watching perform.”

In addition, the weekend will feature live art, themed costume nights and the first ever Amberland wedding.

Costume themes include the fan favorite “Pajama Party” on Saturday night, and a new theme emerging for Sunday night promises endless possibilities. “Dress As Your Favorite PGroove Song” will allow fans to express their creativity and love for the band and the music.

This year’s festival will also feature the first ever “Amby Awards.” Awards will be offered for best costume and in other categories. Winners will receive prizes ranging from signed merchandise to tickets to future shows including Amberland and New Year’s Eve. Over the years, one thing that has made Amberland what it is today, the band believes, is its laid-back, backyard party vibe. “It started off as a backyard party, and we want to keep that same

“The band has stepped up the Amberland experience by inviting a few other bands to the mix: Zoogma, The Mantras, Noise[ORG], Former Champions and Under The Porch.”

In what has now become a Memorial Day weekend tradition, the festival continues at Cherokee Farms in LaFayette, GA from May 27-29. “Amberland is something that is our own,” says keyboardist John Hruby. “There is something to be said about that.

We are ultimately responsible for all the decisions made about the festival, and with those decisions come a great responsibility to the fans. We want to make sure that each year we bring something in-

enthusiasm about it,” Hruby says. “The fans take this time every year not only to enjoy the music, but also to reunite with friends and family from all over the world. Amberland is their family reunion. Together, they’ve shared laughter, tears, marriage proposals, rain and sunshine. No matter how much people’s lives change year after year, one weekend remains constant for everyone involved.”

Amberland X Featuring Perpetual Groove, Zoogma, The Mantras, Noise[ORG], Former Champions and Under The Porch Friday, May 27 - Monday, May 30 Cherokee Farms, 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd., LaFayette, GA Gates open at 3 p.m. Friday, May 27 (850) 544-3475. www.pgroove.com

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MUSIC

Concert Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

WorldTownv7 Presents J-Boogie, Chris Grass Globally known DJ J-Boogie hits town. $10 10 p.m.

The Social, 1110 Market St.

Thursday

Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Rick Rushing Blues Jam 7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www. marketstreettavern.com Subterranean Cirqus, Neon Viking Funeral, Rat Babies, Secret Guilt, Slow Head 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Crossfire 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005. www.thepalmshamilton.com Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Troy Underwood 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt

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The Gist 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com.

Friday

Amberland X Featuring Perpetual Groove 3 p.m. Cherokee Farms, 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd., LaFayette, GA. www.pgroove.com.

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000.

Ben Friberg 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 East 11th Street. (423) 756-8253.

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Elizabeth & The Catapult with The Culprits 7 p.m. Nightfall Concert Series, Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. J-Boogie 8 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081 Husky Burnette 8 p.m. Magoo’s Restaurant, 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423) 867-1351.

Steff Mahan 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. www.southsidesaloonandbistro.com Bitter Lesson 8 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Blue Grass Band 8 p.m. The Foundary at the Chattanoogan, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 756-3400.

Dana Rogers 8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Michelle Young and Pontiac Blue 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com John Lathim 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt Digital Butter 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker The WTM Band 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com Casey Adams 9 p.m. Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr. Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com DJ E and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005. www.thepalmshamilton.com Erick Baker with Jordan Hallquist and Matthew Mayfield 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com..com The Woes, Frontier Ruckus 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

The Woes, Frontier Ruckus

“Anti-folk” out of NYC with The Woes. $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia The Power Players Show Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Karaoke & Dancing 10 p.m. Chattanooga Billiards Club East, 110 Jordan Dr. (423) 499-3883. www.cbcburns.com

Saturday

Incline Railway Summer Concert Series 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com.

Sweet Georgia Sound 10 a.m. Chattanooga River Market, Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 265-0698. www.tnaqua.com Amberland X Featuring Perpetual Groove 3 p.m. Cherokee Farms. 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd., La Fayette, GA www.pgroove.com Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com

MUSIC

Concert Calendar

SATURDAY

Space Capone, The Holysmokes Get your funky dance moves on. $10 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Wideyedaze, My Friend The Captain, Everybody Loves the Hero, Gears of Insanity, In The Era 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Robby Hopkins 8 p.m. Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr. Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com Jon Brooks 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org Blue Grass Band 8 p.m. The Foundary at the Chattanoogan, 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 756-3400.

Dana Rogers 8 p.m. Palms Patio at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Gyan Riley & Shane Perlowin 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

SUNDAY

David Dykes & The Grateful Hearts 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Big Kitty 45 rpm Release Party 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt Critty Upchurch 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker A.J. Valcarcel’s Bitter Lesson 9 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Terrace. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com The WTM Band 9 p.m. Sugar’s Ribs, 507 Broad St. (423) 508-8956. www.sugarsribs.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005. www.thepalmshamilton.com Space Capone, The Holysmokes 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Bassheads: A Night of Dubstep, Volume 12 10 p.m. Sluggo’s North, 501 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 752-5224.

The Power Players Show Band 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Sunday

Incline Railway Summer Concert Series 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com

Amberland X Featuring Perpetual Groove 3 p.m. Cherokee Farms. 2035 Old Mineral Springs Rd. La Fayette, GA www.pgroove.com Irish Music Session 6:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 7 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt Dave Dykes and The Grateful Hearts 8 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Parkway. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com Abbey Road Live: A Tribute to The Beatles 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Monday

Incline Railway Summer Concert Series 10 a.m. Incline Railway, 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 821-4224. www.ridetheincline.com Old Time Jam Session 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Big Band Nite 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

Tuesday

Ryan Bingham and The Dead Horses with The Americans, also Liam Gerner 8 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Broad Awake, Lazar Lazar, Josh Gilbert

Electronica with the three LA bros of Broad Awake. $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com

Wednesday

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Spoken, Canines 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr. Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacoustic.com The Black Shades with Telemonster 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Parkway. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com The Soul Rebels Brass Band 9:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

New Music Reviews

Gyan Riley

Stream of Gratitude (Tzadik)

“The nimble, breathtaking, sixty-secondlong ‘iPick’ is one of the album’s most astounding numbers.”

Guitarist Gyan Riley has a diverse catalog with ensemble works and collaborations, including some with his father, the ground-breaking minimalist composer Terry Riley, but his latest, Stream of Gratitude, is a solo effort, solely featuring his original compositions played on a nylonstring classical guitar that take inspiration from a wide range of sources. The four-movement titular suite is a hat-tip to J.S. Bach, suggesting his rigor and adept use of counterpoint; though he uses measured steps, Riley has a playing approach that isn’t as driving as one might expect from a Bach tribute, using frequent, expressive, slight tempo changes, and the emotive, trebleranged apex of “Gigue” is a stirring, transcendental moment.

The next suite, “Four Etudes for the Right Hand,” highlights particular tricky playing techniques, drawing from artists such as the English Renaissance composer John Dowland and jazz-rock fusion guitarist John McLaughlin; “The Inner Voice” uses non-obvious chords in an intriguing way, and “Trillémolo” features constant, rapid tremolo patterns delivered with a mind-boggling precision, reminiscent of “Una Limosna por el Amor de Dios” by Paraguayan guitarist Agustín Barrios Mangoré. The nimble, breathtaking, sixty-second-long “iPick” is one of the album’s most astounding numbers, featuring furious runs and ringing harmonics.

The album’s third suite, “Zonata,” was composed for the Croatian guitarist Zoran Dukic, and the title of its opening piece, “Spinning in Self-Imposed Exile,” hints at the whirlwind

Big Kitty

Waterfall of Love (Yngmnstr)

Both a calico cat of leisure and a fearless feline guardian (and apparent reincarnation of bluesman Blind Willie Johnson), Big Kitty lends its name to Chattanoogan Clark Williams, who has his own spin on folk music with an infusion of pop turns and wide-eyed magic. In concert, he’s often accompanied by a bevy of local punk and folk friends, but

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excursions within; the suite’s closing piece, “Tohm Tan,” alternates between brisk, graceful passages with calmer sections, with a phrasing style that seems very lyrical. “Irican” closes the album, with perhaps the best summary of Riley’s expressive range and impressive dexterity.

Devotees of the often-radical Tzadik record label may find Stream of Gratitude to be relatively conventional, and it is an accessible, wholly welcoming album for listeners of classical and Latin guitar music, with a keen, understanding reverence and practically flawless execution.

Gyan Riley will play Barking Legs Theater on May 28 with Shane Perlowin.

on his seven-inch single Waterfall of Love, the debut hand-screen-printed release on Yngmnstr Records, he keeps it simple.

“Waterfall of Love” is infectious and seemingly engineered for optimal catchiness, and it’s a song that is hard to dislike, using triedand-true pop strategies—the IV-V-I chord progression, the triplet tugs, and the gradual instrument introductions. It’s a dizzy love song with lines like, “I tear off all my clothes / I get a bloody nose / And jump out the window,” also in tune with nature, citing cicadas, fireflies, and owls and evoking some kind of Disney-esque scene—perhaps a cross between Bambi and Fantasia. The percussionfree track is a no-frills homemade recording, and Williams harmonizes with his distinctive, charming voice, using a classic country-style

singing fashion with a slightly nasal sound.

In due course, an electric guitar joins the acoustic strums, providing a bright, chiming melodic complement with a bit of twang.

The b-side, “The Carp Song,” features Williams and a lone acoustic guitar, telling the story of an aging, funnel-cake-eating “lusty carp” at a country fair; his twist, though, is presenting the tale in the vein of a traditional Scottish folk song, with supernatural touches and trans-species shape-shifting. It’s a fitting story for Big Kitty to present—ostensibly a lazy country feline, Williams’s musical persona is secretly something mystical and a refreshing anomaly in the local folk scene.

Big Kitty will play a record release party for Waterfall of Love at the Office (901 Carter St.) on May 28.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Life In The ‘Noog

Moving On Up…And Out T

his week I made the precisely calculated (yet scary nonetheless) decision to place my home on the market. It wasn’t a decision that was made lightly. But then again, there is no real conceivable, or should I say conventional, reason to sell. I’m not selling because I’ve placed an offer on another dream home, because I’m leaving town, or due to the unfortunate notion that my humble abode is headed for foreclosure.

No, I’m moving just to be moving. I haven’t moved in more than five years.

Before that I think I moved every 36 months since I originally left the family nest some 23 years ago. It’s not that I love the idea of placing my entire life in boxes and asking every friend I know to perform manual labor on their day off in exchange for the promise of free soggy pizza and warm beer. I just embrace life changes that with them bring location adjustments from time to time. In other words, despite how much of a pain in the ass uprooting can be, I can’t seem to shake the exciting, yet frustrating, opportunity to inhabit new digs.

The last time I announced I was moving my friends seemed to scatter like roaches.

My calls—no matter why I reached out in the first place—weren’t answered.

Voicemails left were unreturned and even e-mails seemed to go unnoticed by those in fear of being asked to give up a Saturday to hoist heavy boxes and furniture up many flights of stairs in the name of friendship. So I got the hint, bit the bullet, and hired movers for the first time in my life. And I’ll never do it any other way again.

At first glance, my home seems wisely sparse, yet tastefully appointed. There’s a modest set of living room, dining room and two bedrooms worth of furnishings.

And an office. And patio furniture. And of course a foosball table. The only red flag that might rear its ugly furl is the number

Chuck Crowder

“Despite how much of a pain in the ass uprooting can be, I can’t seem to shake the exciting, yet frustrating, opportunity to inhabit new digs.”

of drawers and cabinets that are likely hiding countless linens, knick-knacks and breakable goodies that’ll require newspaper wrapping and “fragile” insignias before being loaded into liquor boxes.

That’s where the work truly begins. The procuring of boxes. And while grabbing discarded boxes behind stores and restaurants might seem the easiest task in the world, pesky cardboard recycling dumpsters have made breaking down boxes and slipping the flattened version of perfectly good moving receptacles into their sliver-sized openings the typical M.O. of at least the “big box” retailers (no pun intended).

After you’ve gathered either not nearly enough or way too many boxes and newspapers, the real battle begins— packing them. The contents of each

cabinet and drawer have to be carefully sifted through to ensure their future usefulness by either you or the lucky Goodwill recipient that will find them on the bargain table sometime in the near future. This exercise can either go very smoothly, or slowly, depending on the emotional attachment or intended use or reuse of what’s uncovered.

“I remember this. I made this when I was in third grade. Wonder what else is in here I made in elementary school?” “I used to always put photos in frames, that’s why I have so many. I think I’ll start that tradition back up…or maybe not—what do you think?” “I need to try on everything in that pile of clothes I threw on the bed to see if I can still wear them before we pack them.” “What does THIS go with?

Oh, well, I may need it someday.”

There’s always inevitably more stuff hidden in drawers and behind doors than you realize. Why? Because all of the stuff that used to be proudly on display or in use in the main living area has been tossed over the years into these black holes of yesteryear and forgotten—until now.

I’m not a pack rat by any means. I can weed through the wanted and unwanted faster than a sorter on Hoarders. There aren’t too many sundries I’m emotionally attached to, and “cleansing” my belongings is a practice that always goes right along with each and every move.

Which takes us to the current one.

I have no idea where I’m going at this point, but I’ll likely still live downtown.

And if you’d like to move downtown too, there’s an awesome two bedroom, twoand-a-half bath townhome with an office and rooftop patio available. Check it out online—224 W 18th Street.

It’ll move ya.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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SCREEN

Film Feature

Is Captain Jack Becoming a Hack?

By John DeVore, Pulse Film Critic

M

y first experience with pirates came with Swiss Family Robinson. Pirates were the reason I loved that film. For years, I endured silly tree houses, ostrich races, and tiger traps, waiting patiently for the arrival of those wonderful swashbuckling outlaws who risked life and limb to attack a family of white people stranded on a desert island.

I don’t remember what they wanted. It had something to do with the girl disguised as a boy being valuable for some reason. It didn’t matter, though; I always wanted the pirates to win. And they lost every time. But then came Disney’s Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. Although it was based on a silly theme-park ride, the movie was everything I wanted in a pirate movie. It was a grand, sweeping epic, full of swords, ships, and buried treasure. Curses, zombies, and magic compasses were extra perks. I expected silliness and got adventure. That first film is counted among my favorite movie-going experiences.

a grand maritime adventure into a sinking ship of nonsensical plot twists, special effects, and caricatures.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides continues to beat that dead horse. And judging from the boxoffice take, that horse will be around for a long time to come.

This recent excursion into the increasingly convoluted tale of piracy along the Spanish Main uses the Fountain of Youth as its McGuffin. Captain Jack Sparrow is back, searching for the secret to eternal youth, alongside Captain Barbosa, now a privateer for the English Crown, an unnamed Spanish crew, and Blackbeard himself, played by Ian McShane. This of course leads to double crosses, supernatural rituals, strange sea creatures, and a plethora of epic sword fights. The plot is thin, the effects spectacular, and the pacing dull.

You can tell a movie is dull when you want to fast-forward through the action sequences just so that you can get to the next plot point quicker. With a main plot this slow, the last thing

“Jaws wouldn’t spare a priest because he was kind. Why would a predatory creature like a mermaid? They’ve still got to eat, right?”

But like everything in Hollywood, successful films are turned into franchises comprised of mediocrity and repetition. The films that followed made

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this movie needs is an unnecessary subplot involving a priest and a mermaid.

For the life of me, I couldn’t understand their purpose. Mermaids are set up to be vicious, halfhuman piranhas preying on unwitting sailors. That’s fine, I guess. But when you set a threat up to be monstrous, why ruin it by attempting to develop the character? Jaws wouldn’t spare a priest because he was kind. Why would a predatory creature like a mermaid? They’ve still got to eat, right? Such is the writing of “On Stranger Tides”.

I feel like I’ve seen this film three times before, with slight variations. The only difference here is that I care less about the characters. Jack Sparrow was interesting because of his strangeness and his

SCREEN

Film Feature

mystery. After three films, anything its rolled. These films are well liked and mysterious about his personality and have a strong fan base. As a recovering allegiances has vanished. While he was Star Wars fanatic, I can understand. I the epitome of self-serving pirate in was disappointed in those prequels, yet the first film, subsequent films revealed paid for them multiple times. him to be the typical anti-hero, which We have become an episodic audimade him less and less entertaining. ence. I believe this comes from the risI have always argued that Geoffrey ing quality of episodic cable television Rush was the best pirate in the series, shows. HBO, Showtime, and AMC but here he might as well be a stand have created shows over the past sevin. This isn’t his fault; he just doesn’t eral years that rival the best Hollywood have much to do. The ultimate disas- has to offer. The small screen is beter, however, is that Ian McShane is coming the go-to medium for quality used so poorly. For those unfamiliar entertainment. Sequels are a reaction with McShane, he played the magnifi- to that. We want to experience charcent bastard Al Swearengen in HBO’s acters we love over and over again. splendidly crass Western drama DeadUnfortunately, film doesn’t work that wood. There is no actor alive that can way. All we’re doing is contributing to be more menacing. an environment of pandering restateDespite the amazing capabilities ment of well-worn themes. If we want of McShane, Blackbeard is the least better films, we have to say no to sethreatening pirate in the entire series. quels as a group. If not, we’re giving There is no explanation for this other Johnny Depp millions of dollars a year than poor writing, poor directing, and to entertain us less. limited characterization.

Yet, despite the obvious failPirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides Starring Johnny Depp, Penélope Cruz, Geoffrey ings of this film, it will be enorRush and Ian McShane mously successful. There were Directed by Rob Marshall people in the lobby dressed as Rated: PG-13 pirates. A smattering of apRunning Time: 137 min plause erupted when the credwww.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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SCREEN

New In Theaters

Bad Boys, Bad Boys, What Ya Gonna Do? The Hangover Part II The story picks up where The Hangover left off: right after the bachelor party in Las Vegas, Phil, Stu, Alan and Doug jet to Thailand for Stu’s wedding. Stu’s plan for a subdued pre-wedding brunch, however, goes seriously awry. Which is pretty much all the plot one needs or would expect for this follow-up to the highest-grossing R-rated comedy of all time. Hollywood has rarely gone wrong when it makes movies about bad boys being bad, especially when the bad boys are supposed to be mature adults yet seem to naturally revert to a college dorm-room mentality as soon as they are beyond the range of their female keepers.

The reverse-misogyny (men can’t help but be little more than Neanderthals without the civilizing influence of women) is both trite and the core appeal of the film, which looks to become a full-fledged trilogy. It certainly doesn’t hurt that the stars all have a very natural guy-bonding chemistry between them, nor does it hurt that they picked a location even more exotic than Las Vegas to film their continuing juvenile excesses. It is highly probable the film will do very well in theaters. It is also a rather sad indictment on how men are viewed by Hollywood, that such behavior is considered excusable or at least expected. Of course, it also has to be pointed out that the movie is very, very funny. Which goes a long way towards making up for the moral rot at the core of the entire premise.

Stars: Bradley Cooper, Zach Galifianakis, Ed Helms Director: Todd Phillips Kung Fu Panda 2 Po and the Furious Five venture to China to battle a villain and uncover the secrets of Po’s mysterious origins. In the Summer of the Sequel—a record-setting 27 films—comes another animated adventure that will most likely end up in your DVD collection if you are a parent of an elementary school-age child. The real question is whether it is worth heading to the

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multiplex to see it on the big screen. And the answer, somewhat surprisingly, is yes. Dreamworks has put their A-list talent, both behind the microphones and in front of the computers, behind Po and company as they move into a post-Shrek era. And the results show well, with incredibly crisp and smooth animation and some at-times inspired voicework, especially from Jack Black (which is expected) and Angelina Jolie (which is a bit unexpected, but quite welcome).

The real question is whether Dreamworks can maintain the level set by the original or falter down the stretch as they did with the Shrek franchise? Only time will tell. Kung Fu Panda 2 at least shows signs of continued strength.

Stars: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan Director: Jennifer Yuh The Tree of Life Follow Jack O’Brien from his upbringing in the 1950s Midwest, through his complicated relationship with his father, to his adult life in the modern world, as he seeks answers to the origins and meaning of life.

Director Terrence Malick returns with a film that is guaranteed to generate as much controversy as box office. More likely, a lot more controversy than box office, as the deeply dark film features a highly disturbing performance by Brad Pitt as an often-abusive father, which drove audiences at the recent Cannes Film Festival to loudly boo both the film, the star and the director, while at same time heaping awards on the end result (trust me, no one understands the French, least of all the French). Even so, the film is the type of the film that tries to tell an uncomfortable story with great skill and passion, aspects that are hallmarks of Malick as well as a maturing Brad Pitt. Still, it’s a hard sell of movie, and one wonders if it ever would have seen the light of day had Pitt not committed early and full to the project.

Stars: Brad Pitt, Sean Penn, Jessica Chastain Director: Terrence Malick

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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Dining Out In Chattanooga

Remembrance of Crepes Past and Future

By Taylor Ralph, Pulse Food Reviewer

Nestled along River Street, next to Coolidge Park, sits a little shop that is far from the ordinary.

Ever since opening its doors last summer, Crepe-a-Delic has succeeded in sending its patrons on a culinary journey. Being the first and only crepe shop in Chattanooga, Crepe-aDelic is responsible for changing the way Chattanoogans think about crepes.

Owner and crepemaker-extraordinaire Thompson Galetovic opened his shop because of his extreme passion for crepes. This passion stems from growing up watching his mother create these fluffy concoctions and from spending time in Europe, the epicenter of “crepe culture”.

As a young adult, Galetovic began exploring his own crepe talents. He soon realized that his talent and passion for crepes could benefit not only him but also those who tasted his creations. And so was born the idea for what is now his very own crepe shop, Crepe-a-Delic.

With the goal of blending cherished things of the past with new ideas and techniques, Crepe-a-Delic is a mix of old and new. The small but charming space is decked out in retro and eclectic decor. The menu reflects this combination, combining classic dishes with new staples.

and sliced banana.

Crepes aren’t the only things on offer at Crepe-a-Delic.

They have a great beer selection, one of the most unique in the city. Since Tuesdays and Thursdays are half-priced beer nights, those are great times to try something you might have never heard of.

Something new to Crepe-a-Delic is its dinner menu. As of now, Galetovic and his staff are dishing out dinners on Friday evenings. Every Friday there are two new releases from the highly anticipated dinner menu and by the end of May, the menu in its entirety will be released.

In addition to the menu items, there will also be a featured dinner special.

Crepe-a-Delic expects to be in full swing by summer. With live music in the evenings, its outdoor patio and a new dinner menu, this shop should be booming by mid-summer.

If you are looking for something different and unique, Crepe-a-Delic is one of those places. Whether for a date night or family brunch, they are sure to please.

Crepe-a-Delic, 137 River St. Open Monday-Tuesday 11 a.m. to 3 p.m., Wednesday-Friday 8 a.m. to 9 p.m., Saturday 8 a.m. to 10 p.m., Sunday 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Call (423) 752-5227 or visit www. crepeadelic.com for more information.

“Every Friday there are two new releases from the highly anticipated dinner menu and by the end of May, the menu in its entirety will be released."

The food served up at Crepe-a-Delic speaks for itself. “Good food will always be my passion and the quality of food will always be the number-one priority,” Galetovic says. Quality food it is, as each crepe and the fillings that are placed in each fluffy layer are made in-house and just for you. Galetovic says he strives to make each crepe better than the last.

There are certainly favorites among the regulars and one of them is the Mind Bender, a new addition to the Crepe-aDelic menu. Inside of the savory crepe is a roasted chicken breast and hot, baked potato with mushrooms and freshly mixed spicy cream. If sweet is what you are looking for, try the classic Banana Nut, a sweet crepe oozing with Nutella

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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ENTERTAINMENT

Free Will Astrology

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Poet Gerard Manley Hopkins coined the verb “to selve,” which is what a person does in the process of creating his or her distinctive presence in the world. Writing this column is an ongoing opportunity for me to selve, for example, because each time I conjure up a new horoscope I exercise the idiosyncratic combination of skills, attitudes, training, and knowledge that is special to me. According to my reading of the omens, Gemini, you are in a phase when you have a sacred duty to selve with extra intensity and alacrity. In fact, I suggest you be ruthless in seeking out experiences that give you a chance to tap into, cultivate, and express your most unique qualities.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Here comes your ninth loss of innocence, Cancerian. Or is it your tenth? As you will soon prove once again, you manage to make every time feel like the first time. When the moment arrives and the sweet purity ebbs away, the twinge that shudders through you will have the same primal intensity you’ve experienced before. But here’s the redemption: Like most of the previous transitions, this one will lead to a surprising blessing you couldn’t have gotten any other way. When your innocence is reborn—as it will be, sooner or later—it will be wiser and wilder than ever before.

Solution To Last Week's Crossword

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): There’s a small chance that the following scenario will soon come to pass: You’ll be invited to become part of a situation that promises to give you special privileges or inside information, but after you join you’ll find out that your participation would require you to compromise your principles. But there’s a far greater chance—over 80 percent— that the following scenario will take place: You’ll be invited to join your fortunes to a group or circle or tribe or situation that won’t ask you to dilute your integrity or betray your values at all. In fact, it’s likely to activate a dormant part of your potential. The moral of the story, Leo: Be very discerning.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Right now you have more power than you realize—more power to understand confusing situations, more power to influence people you’ve assumed are resistant to change, and more power to overcome your apparent disadvantages. In fact the only factor that could prevent you from accomplishing way more than what you thought possible is a lack of confidence. Please note, Virgo: I’m not urging you to cultivate a foolishly arrogant faith in your ego. Rather, I’m clueing you in to the fact that there are hidden forces at work you can call on to help you—wisdom that has been dormant, love that has been neglected, and allies who have been mum.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): According to the Guinness Book of World Records, the longest love letter in history was written by an Indian man named Harish Kondakkuli. The gushing 143-page message took him over three months to complete. Oddly, it was addressed to an imaginary woman, since there was no one in his life he was actually in love with. I encourage you to consider the possibility of exceeding his achievement in the coming weeks, Libra. You’re at the peak of your ability to express wickedly delicious passions and profoundly tender intentions. There may even be a real person, not an imaginary one, who warrants your extravagant outflow.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Postsecret.com is a website where people can anonymously reveal their deep, dark feelings. I came across one entry that I think would be perfect for you to use as your own in the coming weeks.

“I don’t want to cover up my scar,” it read. “It’s a good conversation starter and it makes me look bad-ass. But thank you anyway!” To further inspire what I hope will be your fearless effort to claim the power inherent in your wounds, I also offer this spur from musician and author Henry Rollins: “Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.”

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In her irreverent platinum-selling song “Monster,” Sagittarian rapper Nicki Minaj offers up a poetic sequence never before heard in the history of the planet: “Pull up in the monster… with a bad b-tch that came from Sri Lanka / yeah I’m in that Tonka, color of Willy Wonka.” I hope that you will soon come up with an equally revolutionary innovation in your own chosen field, Sagittarius. All the cosmic forces will be conspiring in the coming weeks to help you to do the equivalent of rhyming “Tonka” and “Sri Lanka” with “Willy Wonka.”

Please cooperate! (The NSFW video is here: http://bit.ly/ MinajMonster.)

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Time is the enemy of romantic love, said Andrew Marvell in his 17th-century poem “To His Coy Mistress.” Medieval author Andreas Capellanus had a different idea, identifying marriage as the enemy of romantic love. In Richard Wagner’s opera Tristan and Isolde, Tristan rails against the daylight, calling it the enemy of romantic love. And in their book Immediacy and Reflection in Kierkegaard’s Thought, the editors theorize that “capitalism, which makes a fetish out of sex …is the enemy of romantic love.” While all of those statements may be true, they’re only mildly relevant for you right now.

The most dangerous enemy of romantic love—or any other kind of love, for that matter—is this: not listening well.

Overcome that enemy, Capricorn.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In an age when bee populations have dropped dramatically, some gardeners have found they need to pollinate their tomato plants manually. One woman I know tickles each swollen bulb of seeds with a toothbrush. Another uses a camelhair brush. Metaphorically speaking, Aquarius, I suspect you will have to try something similar in the coming weeks: making an intervention to facilitate a fertilizing process that doesn’t quite seem to be happening naturally.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In the coming week, your psyche may sometimes have an odd tingling sensation that resembles what happens when you hit your funny bone. Is it painful? Is it pleasurable? Maybe some of both, with the net effect being a command to wake up and play harder, love stronger, and notice more beauty. If you respond to that mandate with even a moderate amount of passion, I suspect you’ll get a surprising reward: At least one of the secret laws of your own nature will reveal itself to you, rising up clear and raw in a sweet waking vision.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Weaseling out of things is important to learn,” said cartoon anti-hero Homer Simpson. “It’s what separates us from the animals— except the weasel.” I normally don’t share that sentiment. My standard advice is to face up to challenging situations and take responsibility for the part you played in creating them. But I’m going to rebel against my custom this week and endorse Homer’s approach, Aries. You may be on the verge of getting sucked into a mess that you had virtually no role in creating. Either that, or you’ll be asked to carry out a mission that is irrelevant to your long-term goals. In either case, you have cosmic permission to weasel out.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’m going to bring up a sore subject only because I think you’re finally ready to make it much less of a sore subject. The truth as I see it, Taurus, is that a part of you got petrified way back when. A formerly fluid and flexible part of your psyche got turned into stone, metaphorically speaking, losing much of its usefulness and creating distortions throughout the rest of you. Now, after all this time, you have circled back to a phase when you have the power to at least partially un-petrify this lost function. To get the process started, I suggest you turn your attention to it in such a way that you feel like laughing and crying at the same time.

ENTERTAINMENT

Jonesin' Crossword — "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" Across 1 Kickstart a battery 5 Lick 9 “Going Back to ___” (LL Cool J single) 13 Early Peruvian 14 “Shepherd Moons” singer 15 Sleeps lightly 16 Back-of-the-book section where Boston is located?

18 Like some rights or pay 19 Blasting stick 20 “___ for Cookie, that’s good enough for me...”

22 Abbr. on a food label 23 Approve of a Bond Doctor’s evildoings on Facebook?

29 “___ of Two Cities” 30 Student helpers 31 King, in Cancun 32 Paper bundle 34 Play by the rules 38 Jeep-financing co.

40 Store you go to “for all your pod-based needs”?

42 Do the laundry 43 Alaska Airlines logo feature 45 Quaintly formal letter pening 47 Best Picture nominee starring Jamie Foxx 48 Highbrow film director 50 Tournament type 52 On a shortage of know-how?

56 Former “World Series of Poker” champ Ungar 57 Nile biter 58 It’s small and strummable 59 Uses as a source 61 What Sgt. Schultz really knew (but would never admit) on “Hogan’s Heroes”?

67 Integra maker 68 Kelly of TV talk 69 Otherwise 70 Tabula ___ 71 Comet’s trailer 72 Rib in a bedframe

Down 1 Comedian Gaffigan 2 One, to Juana 3 They take the mic 4 1980s shade 5 Square meal?

6 Defensive position 7 “Sure thing,” in Scotland 8 Savings from the IRS, maybe 9 ___ au vin 10 As blue as the sky 11 Job search hits 12 Ibiza and Minorca, for example 15 Craving 17 Word before child or circle 21 Curve on a weather map 23 Fries size 24 Grocery checkout count 25 Boat that goes back and forth?

26 Ninja projectile 27 Improves, like airplane seating 28 Like vulgar videos at

your day job, for short 33 Goes overboard with the acting 35 Producer Spelling or Sorkin 36 Bartender on “The Love Boat” 37 Write lyrics, often 39 “Bye, bambino” 41 Ireland, in Ireland 44 Scar’s nemesis, in “The Lion King” 46 Like some dog collars 49 Know-it-all 51 Big name in candy cups 52 Nunez of “The Office” 53 NY city on the Mohawk 54 Hippos’ garb in “Fantasia” 55 Out in farm country 60 Major time period 62 By means of 63 Prefix for phenomenon 64 “___ buy that for a dollar” 65 Hush-hush govt. agency 66 Understand

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0521.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Ask A Mexican

In Praise of Spanglish Dear Mexican, I’m a Spanish court interpreter in Santa Bárbara, California; I’ve also worked in Los Angeles courts. I just read your most recent column regarding the promotion of the learning and practicing of English by Latinos in the U.S. Generally, I agree with your view. But my question is why can’t we also promote the use and practice of PROPER SPANISH in this country? One only needs to take a stroll through the many Latino neighborhoods throughout California and witness the signage on businesses, and non-profits alike, with awful misspellings and grammatical errors—or, flip through the pages of community periodicals, or view the commercials on U.S. Spanish television and see the same linguistic garbage!

But that is not the worst of it. What about the legions of ‘”bilingual’” service professionals that work in private and public agencies who speak and write substandard Spanish? Many of these “professionals” are just taken at their word when they assert that they grew up speaking Spanish, their bi-literacy never truly tested. Sadly, this is the case with most Chicanos, and even native Latinos who neglect their Spanish literacy in favor of awkwardly assimilating into a forced English. Their arguments for using improper Spanish are disingenuous: “Mexican immigrants won’t get the big words,” or “Sometimes, there aren’t translations for big words or concepts.” The fact is that these “professionals” project their own linguistic incompetence and intellectual indifference when they use Spanglish or other phonetic contrivance in dealing with the Spanish-speaking community. English is the only official language in the U.S. (something we are constantly reminded of), so our Spanish can only be based on something just as official. Why is Spanish not respected as

an established foreign language? Why is it consistently dumbed down?

As a court interpreter, it’s my duty to translate complicated legal terminology everyday.

It’s unethical for me to lower the register, and use words like tíquete, corte, probación, and felonía, when the proper words are boleta de tránsito, tribunal, condena condicional, and delito grave, respectively. Ninety-nine percent of the time, the public I work with understands and appreciates my formal usage. Such standards should apply to any field. I’ve come to realize that the human experience is universal: there is a veritable translation for everything! Moreover, it’s actually impossible to direct a translation to a certain group or audience, as the only material that the translating agent has to work with is the source language, English. Walter Benjamin argues this point quite well in his essay, “The Task of the Translator.”

Apart from the academic shortcomings, this practice also promotes a negative stereotype: those dumb Mexicans are too illiterate to understand.

Finally, I must ask: do Latino immigrants really need to learn to master English? Isn’t it possible to create capital and business opportunities, to create communities, in a strictly Spanish-speaking context? Many major corporations already attempt to cater to our market, the

Gustavo Arellano

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 21 | May 26, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

largest ethnic group in the U.S. Other ethnicities do the same, don’t they? — Hasta la Madre en Sta. Bárbara Dear Wab, Usually, I ask readers to chop down their preguntas as much as possible—we can’t regulate our borders, but we can sure as hell protect against run-on sentences— but yours was an eloquent-enough enough rant to sneak in, and raises many interesante points. As a court interpreter, you know the difference between legal and colloquial English, so I suggest you treat Spanish the same—I doubt you ask for prayer when demanding your breakfast bill.

Besides, what kind of a boring world would we live in if proper language governed how we spoke? That’s right: France. And of course Latinos should learn English—remember, it’s the bilinguals who’ll rule the world, and the monolinguals who’ll get left behind.

Just look at what’s happening to gabachos in our global economy…

“Besides, what kind of a boring world would we live in if proper language governed how we spoke? That’s right: France.”

GOOD MEXICAN OF THE WEEK: Spanglish—not the horrible Adam Sandler movie, but the language. Long viva mongrel tongues! Abajo with custodians of Cervantes, Shakespeare, and Flaubert!

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican. net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.youtube.com/askamexicano!

www.chattanoogapulse.com | May 26, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 21 | The Pulse

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