The Pulse - Vol. 8, Issue 16

FREE • NEWS, VIEWS, MUSIC, FILM, ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT • APRIL 21, 2011 • VOLUME 8, ISSUE 16 • WWW.CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

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The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 16 | April 21, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

PULSE BEATS 4 ON THE BEAT 13 LIFE IN THE NOOG 23 DINING OUT 27 ASK A MEXICAN 30

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VOLUME 8, ISSUE 16 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“There were militia, but they lounged a few blocks away, sipping tea, bored to the point of begging me to have my photo taken with them.”

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— Leah Ahsley, on her experience in Sulimaniyah, Kurdistan, Iraq.

“An understanding of the theory allows, as a theorist might say, a multipositional relation to the artwork; that is, theory provides multiple perspectives for appreciation.”

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— Michael Crumb on the art of Ron Buffington and John Tallman.

“The Kitty Kat Ball will be an amazing night of music, local flair, and fundraising for one of our favorite local gals.”

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— Tara V on the upcoming benefit at Warehouse Row for Kat Dunn.

“Why bother with reasoning when it’s always easier to blame Mexicans?”

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— Gustavo Arellano on false rumors of Mexican farm workers being less than sanitary in the fields.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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NEWS Chattanooga’s Weekly Alternative President Jim Brewer, II Publisher Zachary Cooper Contributing Editor Janis Hashe News Editor Gary Poole Director of Sales Rhonda Rollins Advertising Sales Jaye Brewer, Rick Leavell Michelle Pih Calendar Editors Bryanna Burns, Leanne Strickland Graphic Design Jennifer Grelier Pulse Contributors Gustavo Arellano, Leah Ahsley Rob Brezsny, Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb, Janis Hashe Joshua Hurley, Matt Jones D.E. Langley Ernie Paik Alex Teach, Tara V Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 265-9494 Fax (423) 266-2335 Email Inquiries info@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Submissions calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

Brewer Media 1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity.

Please keep letters within 300 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

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Pulse Beats

"Q"

UTC Opposes Proposed “Guns on Campus” Bill The University of Tennessee at Chattanooga administration joins higher education leaders across the state in opposing a bill that would allow more people to carry guns on campus, contributing to unsafe conditions for students, faculty, staff, and visitors.

“We consider our responsibility to provide a safe campus environment among our top priorities. Campus law enforcement and law enforcement leaders from across Tennessee have said more guns on campus would not make campuses safer. In fact, the presence of more guns could increase the danger level to students, faculty, staff, and visitors to our campus,” said UTC Chancellor Roger Brown. “The University of Tennessee has repeatedly stated opposition to allowing anyone outside law enforcement to carry guns on campus.”

HB 2016 went before the Tennessee House Judiciary Committee for a vote on Tuesday. The bill would allow faculty and staff with handgun carry permits to bring their guns to campus.

Current law prohibits anyone, even handgun carry permit holders, other than law enforcement to bring weapons to campus.

Higher education leaders have joined police forces statewide and the Tennessee Association of Chiefs of Police in opposition to this proposal.

“From a law enforcement

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 16 | April 21, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

“All the levels that have been monitored are many, many, many times below any health concerns.”

— Bonnie Basher with The Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation on recent reports of radioactive Iodine 131 being found in our local water supply.

perspective, having more people with guns on campus increases the risk for a situation to occur and decreases safety,” said UTC Police Chief Robert Ratchford. “Police officers are trained to handle situations. To have others get involved in a situation only complicates matters and raises the risk of injury.”

Faculty and student government organizations have also opposed the bill.

“As a faculty member at UTC, I can assure you that I feel quite safe with the current level of security and protection afforded by our campus police in coordination with city police, and therefore do not feel that arming students or faculty would do anything except complicate security,” said Dr. Victoria Steinberg, Professor of French and President of the UTC Faculty Senate. “Adding more guns without coordination of training will create a greater threat to campus security.”

The legislation was introduced

by State Sen. Stacey Campfield (R-Knoxville), told the Memphis Commercial Appeal that he did so after receiving a letter from a student at UT who had worries about a “troubled student in her class.” However, when asked, he was unable to provide a copy of the letter to reporters.

News Briefs • The Tennessee Valley Authority announced plans last week to retire 18 older coal-fired generation units at three power plants as part of the federal utility’s vision of being one of the nation’s leading providers of low-cost and cleaner energy by 2020. The retirements will help TVA reduce emissions of sulfur dioxide, a component of acid rain, by 97 percent from 1977 levels and help reduce emissions of nitrogen oxides, which contribute to smog, by 95 percent from 1995 levels. Previous TVA pollution-control programs already have reduced sulfur dioxide emissions by more than 90 percent and nitrogen oxide emissions by 86 percent.

• A Tennessee House subcommittee has rejected a proposal to allow Tennessee supermarkets to sell wine. The measure failed last week when a subcommittee panel voted to delay the measure until next year. The bill’s author tried, unsuccessfully, to pass an amendment that would have let voters decide by referendum whether they want wine in their grocery stores. This is the fourth year lawmakers have tried to pass the bill.

Currently, grocery stores can’t sell wine and liquor stores can’t sell beer. Sponsors say opening up supermarket sales will create millions of dollars in revenue for the state and much needed jobs.

NEWS

Commentary

Shades Of Nuclear Green Ms. Kurtz gives us plenty of reasons to fret over nuclear power. So while she sits at her computer, with the lights on, and either with the heat or air conditioning on, maybe the TV on in the background, we get no solutions to all of her concerns with how the heck we keep the lights (and everything else on) but somehow without generating electricity from nuclear plants. So let’s look at the alternates. Fossil?

Well that would pollute the air, water, etc., not to mention the need for more coal mines.

Oil? Come on now, more drilling in the Gulf?

It already costs over $50 to fill up my Camry thanks to the Big O’s policies. OK, let’s look at windmills. But not on Lookout Mountain for heaven’s sake. Maybe Sandra would like a turbine in her neighborhood. I know, let’s use the wind farms in the Midwest and run a big old transmission line a few hundred miles down to Tennessee! But don’t put up a tower near Ms. Kurtz’s neighborhood. Way too unsightly.

Or maybe solar. Hmmm, similar issues as wind. How about we all turn off the lights, turn off the AC all summer and get rid of the computers, TVs, etc., etc. You first Sandra.

Jerry Bednarczyk Every nuclear plant is susceptible to accidents, either human error, technical malfunction, act of nature or terrorism. The

Send all letters to the editor and questions to

info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

electricity isn’t worth the risk, nuclear only provides 10 percent of the world’s electricity.

We can do a lot more with a lot less. Twenty percent of global electricity is consumed by lighting. LED technology alone can reduce that consumption by 10 percent in less than a decade, it’s already well on its way doing so.

The NRC is a very powerful body which will require the participation of some of the most

influential people in the world to steer us away from planetary suicide. Till now, the NRC had the upper hand nurturing a policy of divide and conquer, keeping efforts to shut down nuclear power plants localized, so few reactor hosting communities could muster enough legal, political and financial muscle to pressure the NRC into rejecting relicensing applications which they have been rubberstamping with little or no effective resistance.

Remy C. Racism And Literature I read with great interest the article written

by Stephanie Smith on Elizabeth Spencer and the interview with Kevin McCarthy, the writer and director of the documentary about Spencer’s life. All was well until I read the part about Lillian McCain saying that she could not eat with McCarthy at the Crystal Grill in Greenwood, Mississippi, because she was black. Thirty years ago she was right, but today all races eat in the Crystal Grill. How do I know? When I visit my mother in Tippo, Mississippi, we often shop in Greenwood and occasionally eat lunch at the Crystal. Every time I have been in the Crystal Grill in the last ten to fifteen years, there have been black customers, men, women, and children, sitting across from me or in front of or behind me.

Elsie A. Johnson www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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NEWS

Politics & Crime A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

Here is one of the agenda items to be discussed at the Tuesday, April 26 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

13. Recognition of Persons Wishing to Address the Council on Non-Agenda Matters.

At the end of every council meeting, anyone can have three minutes to address the entire body about anything on their mind, as long as it wasn’t something already covered in the agenda for that meeting and is an issue that falls under the purview of the council.

If you have a complaint, compliment, suggestion or even a beef with the city, this is your time to get the undivided attention of all nine council members (and the city attorney, to boot).

Even better, the heads of the various city departments—ranging from the Police Department to Public Works to Neighborhood Services and a good dozen other agencies—are usually present at the meetings, which can be very beneficial.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the current agenda, and past minutes, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_Council

• While it may be annoying to see a business competitor working near your location, there are better ways to express your displeasure that screaming at them. The owner of a downtown deli, who had bought the business several years earlier, became very upset when he saw the former owner of the business delivering food nearby.

According to the former owner, the man approached her and began shouting and making threatening gestures. When police arrived, she informed them that she had sold the business with a one-year noncompete clause, but that had long since expired, and that she had started an Internet-based food delivery service. Officers went to the deli and, unable to locate the owner, informed his wife that he needed to stop bothering the woman.

• Some simple advice on dealing with law enforcement: When they ask you to stop doing something, it’s a very good idea to stop doing it. Unfortunately for an East 50th Street man, he seemed unable or unwilling to understand this very simple concept. One of his neighbors called police and told them the man was sitting in his front yard, drinking heavily and yelling obscenities at her. Officers arrived and told the man to stop what he was doing and

go inside. Alas, the first warning didn’t take, and officers were called out a second time.

This time they told the man if they had to come back again, they were going to take him to jail. As one can guess, the man kept drinking and screaming, and when officers returned a third time they indeed slapped the steel bracelets on him and took him to jail, where he was charged with disorderly conduct.

• Remember when high school students used to skip school to go to the mall or just hang around the house? Apparently those days are long past, as a pair of East Hamilton High School students were arrested and charged with trying to arrange a drug robbery. The school resource officer got a tip that the two teen girls were going to cut classes and rob a known drug dealer. The SRO alerted fellow sheriff’s deputies and they tracked down the teens and made a traffic stop. Inside the car, they found the intended victims, along with a large amount of marijuana, cash and a firearm. All told, five people ended up behind bars: the two students, their two intended victims (arrested on unrelated charges), and the man

they had asked to be the actual robber.

• During the cold winter months, there are many reports of people having their cars stolen out of driveways. This is largely due to the habit many people have of “warming” up their cars and then going back inside their homes. However, one has to wonder what was going through the mind of an E. 4th Street woman last week, who apparently has a much lower tolerance to cold weather than most. She decided that the early morning temperature was too low, and suffered the same fate as many car owners in winter, as she looked out the window to see her car being driven away. She tried to run after the vehicle, but was unable to either catch it or get a good look at the driver. Police have so far been unable to locate the stolen vehicle.

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COVER STORY

From Chattanooga To Iraq

Life on the streets of the changing Middle East

Democracy as Dominoes

By Leah Ashley, Pulse Contributing Writer

Leah Ashley, a native Chattanoogan, has been living and traveling in the Middle East as an ESL teacher.

Currently she is in Kurdistan, Iraq, where she has been close to protests happening in that region. These are her observations.

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unisia. It started, some say, with a slap. A female government official slapped a hawker of fruits after he refused to pay her a fine for supposed violations of selling goods. Those who recount the incident say this official hurt the hawker’s face and wounded his pride, humiliating him before his family and community, and robbing him of his meager earnings. Infuriated, he went to the government’s office demanding an audience, and when he was further ignored, he resorted to the ultimate protest: self-immolation. And a nation, riddled with joblessness, government corruption and inflamed by decades of rage, protested en masse for weeks until the president fled the country.

Even in Tunisia, protesters faced tear gas, attacks, and the murders of civilians whose only crime was a demand for change. I arrived back in the Middle East and was watching local news sources, and those from Turkey and Egypt, posting furiously on Facebook as Tunisia’s government toppled and its citizens celebrated in victory. But my specific questions remained: What’s next? And who will replace the ousted leaders?

Someone worse?

While Tunisia was largely ignored in American media, Egypt captured the hearts and attention of the Middle East and the larger Western world.

Many Egyptians work in the Kurdistan region, and I asked one friend, Eshe, exactly what happened, what prompted the first day of the protests in Egypt. She shrugged, saying, “No one is certain.

But I am here working because it is impossible to find work in my home country. The government is very corrupt, many people are unemployed, and after 30 years of such a horrible man, enough is enough.”

She continued pushing the swing holding a 3-year-old boy while keeping a sharp eye on his older sister who was testing her balance along the curb separating the playground from

the road. Eshe worried, as I did, that Egypt’s leaders wouldn’t fold so easily. She was relieved to know that her family was safe, despite days of blackouts in communication. Eshe didn’t have the answer to questions when I posed them as Egyptians protested, but she said it really didn’t matter: by exercising their right to protest, by finding their power of voice, the citizens believe they can affect this change anytime in the future, no matter who leads the country. As she says, “Egypt now belongs to its citizens.”

Meanwhile, protests were happening in Yemen, Libya, Jordan, Iran, and Iraq.

While traveling the world as an ESL teacher, I’ve witnessed protests throughout Southeast Asia; I’ve dealt with the “Great Firewall” of China, the general term for the government’s censorship of web pages including Flickr, Wikipedia, Google’s Blogspot, and countless news journals. While teaching and living in Turkey, I’ve attended protests; patiently explained to family that despite the attacks on the American consulate in Istanbul, I was safe. Bombings have been frequent enough in Turkey during the past three years that I was three blocks away from a suicide bomber who blew himself up in Taksim Square one Sunday morning.

“One becomes used to having a security guard living outside your apartment building, with an assault rifle never farther than arm’s length.”

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After working for a university in Istanbul, and being offered a position last summer as a lecturer at the American University in Iraq, I fell in love with the people here, the students’ eagerness to learn, the challenges they gave themselves and their teachers.

I felt I was making a difference working here, and I returned to continue to teach young adults. I usually don’t tell people that I live in Iraq because they immediately imagine Baghdad. I tell them I live in the Kurdistan Regional Government (KRG), as if it were its own country. Explaining it as an autonomous region in the northern part of Iraq is met with blank stares often as well. I describe it as one of the safest places I’ve ever lived precisely because it is so heavily guarded. One becomes used to having a security guard living outside your apartment building, with an assault rifle never farther than arm’s length.

It’s so safe, in fact, that the UK has taken the Kurdistan region off its list of places to avoid and the New York Times named “The

COVER STORY

From Chattanooga To Iraq

Wilds of Kurdistan” as one of its recommended 41 places to see in 2011.

Erbil, as the capital city, is one of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world. My balcony view comprises of a panorama including the rebuilt airport, one of Kurdistan’s few oil refineries, two hotels, and a view of one of many shopping malls here. But one can’t help but notice the plethora of skeletons of buildings that aren’t being completed because the money assigned to them gets skimmed off by every office from Baghdad, through contractors, and the developers themselves.

People who hope for work watch these skeletons of buildings and know that it’s their own government preventing them from working by withholding funds for completion. Corruption, one source explains, is why my bananas are imported from Ecuador, my coffee from Brazil, my raisins from Turkey. Of the roughly four million inhabitants of the KRG, nearly a quarter of them work for the government.

And to get government jobs, you need to be affiliated with a political party. This is a common complaint among the protesters: To achieve anything in the KRG, from getting a job to owning a business or obtaining a passport, you need connections within the government. For those who work in the upper echelons of government or even as managers, the perks are nice: plots of land, paid housing, the ubiquitous Toyota Land Cruiser that becomes your own.

Most people are happy with this—if they happen to work in government. Some friends tell me that others are happy

because working for the government simply means showing up and sitting around. And being asked to do something prompts some request for further perks.

A few people inside the government are distraught.

There are those who hate going to work for whatever ministry, sitting around doing nothing all day, earning their $500 monthly salary. They’re a lost generation of highly educated idealists with no chance to practice what theories they’ve studied. And they want more. They dream of implementing their own ideas to improve Kurdistan.

core of the problem in Kurdistan, and in the Middle East in general, some say. The protesters don’t plan, they don’t organize properly, and they don’t intend to do the forward thinking, or the labor, needed to save and sustain themselves. They want the government to make the changes, to provide jobs, to care for them.

“Hersh” speaks English, and his work demands that he be knowledgeable about the events in Kurdistan and the world. When I asked him why he was protesting, he said people were tired of the corruption. Journalists are jailed and murdered; fertile land sits unused because the government earns too much money on imported foods and goods. He disagrees that protesters want handouts; protesters want the right to commerce and industry, to innovation without pledging allegiance to any particular party. He’s been abroad and studied systems of government. He says that in Kurdistan there are no independent executive, legislative, or judiciary branches. Each is controlled by a political party. No one is holding anyone accountable.

He wishes for change in the political systems; and fervently denies that protesters are rioters and looters intent on destroying their region. But he’s adamant that human rights, rights of free speech, are curbed here in Kurdistan.

The elder generation doesn’t understand, Hersh thinks.

“We aren’t Iran; we aren’t Syria; we aren’t Egypt. What is happening in those countries has already happened here 20 years ago!”

“Daisy” is a close friend educated in an elite American graduate program who returned to the KRG and began working in a particular government department as a manager. She bemoans what’s happening to her country and its people, who are expected to work, but in turn demand handouts. She worries about Kurdistan. And I can’t use her real name because if I do, she’ll fears that she’ll be fired immediately. She’ll never be able to secure another passport to pursue doctoral studies abroad, and neither will anyone in her family, including bright nephews and nieces. She too dreams of improving Kurdistan, but loathes the protests and violence in Sulimaniyah (Suli). “What are they doing?” she sputters incredulously while we sit watching Kurdish news. “We aren’t Iran; we aren’t Syria; we aren’t Egypt. What is happening in those countries has already happened here 20 years ago!”

When I ask why there is so much unemployment among the local population, while immigrants work everywhere I go, it’s explained to me by virtually everyone that Kurds consider these jobs beneath them.

Those who oppose the protests seem pleased that I ask this question and eagerly explain that everyone wants to “work” for the government; given a chance to farm and have their crops subsidized, few would take the opportunity because farmwork is too laborious.

This attitude of handouts, or looking to the government for a solution, is the

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COVER STORY

From Chattanooga To Iraq

“He disagrees that protesters want handouts; protesters want the right to commerce and industry, to innovation without pledging allegiance to any particular party.”

They say things are better now: the youth have freedoms that were denied to previous generations. But Hersh’s worldview is different and framed by an examination of other countries. Despite what the opposition believes, Hersh believes that the protests in Suli are like those of Egypt, Yemen, Syria, and Jordan.

Such is the gist of the two competing views of the protests happening in Suli, continuing for over a month, continuing as I write. In a resource- (read: oil) rich country where gas is paradoxically higher than it is in some Western countries because the KRG sends its oil to other countries to be refined, then buys it back; where housing is comparable to that of rents of downtown Chattanooga, but where the average income hovers somewhere around $600 a month, Kurds watched the revolts of Tunisia and Egypt and believed that they too could effect change.

I don’t really know or understand much about the political parties here. I am aware of the PUK (the Patriotic Union of Kurdistan) that governs Suli, and the KDP (the Kurdish Democratic Party), the governing party in Erbil. But there’s another party, supported by Nawshirwan Mustafa, nicknamed "Goran". He left the PUK and started his own platform, running on demands that the government become more transparent and less corrupt. Some say it was his sup-

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porters who marched to the KDP building in Suli and started throwing rocks.

Some blame him and his supporters for the death of the child who was killed that day, and the almost dozen others who have since died. The first protest video shows protesters laughing, insulting, and hurling rocks through windows of the KDP government building. And suddenly, shots fired from the roof and people running, some crawling on their knees, to dodge the barrage of assault rifle bullets. But this, of course, is just one side. The opposition argues that if you look closely enough, bullets also cause the holes in the building, and that the little boy killed on the first day was shot by rioters, not peaceful protesters.

I was in Erbil as this happened, and learned of it through a text message from friends living there. Suddenly Erbil shut itself off from the rest of the KRG completely, and the only news most locals here got was that bored idiots, inspired by the riots in countries nearby, decided to copy what was

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 16 | April 21, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

happening and destroy their city. Most of the rioters speak one of the four types of Kurdish, and some Arabic. No one was articulating reasons for the violence. But images of an 11-year-old boy covered in his own blood inflamed both sides, circulating through the media, spun in different ways, giving cause for further fear, tension, and alarm.

Daisy spiraled into depression when she learned that the region’s most respected intellectuals were fueling the flames for more demonstrations. Those who had studied abroad were making speeches, and because they were respected because of their education, they were blindly followed. Daisy came back to Kurdistan to make a positive difference, and she felt that the violence, and specific people, were intending to destroy the already fragile region. Daisy summarized it this way: “We are not Egypt or Libya. There is no dictator, and these protests are doing more harm than good.” Then came the news that the protesters intended to come to Erbil one Friday and demonstrate here. Universities closed, locals were not allowed to travel between the cities, expats were evacuated or security tightened. I was told to get the hell out of here.

Instead, I went to the market, to the place of the supposed protest at the appointed time that Friday. It was a

COVER STORY

From Chattanooga To Iraq

“There were militia, but they lounged a few blocks away, sipping tea, bored to the point of begging me to have my photo taken with them.”

ghost town, eerily quiet and empty. When I later met with Dr. Pshtiwan Sadiq, head of the KDP in Erbil, he explained that Erbil was quite alert to possible violence. He acknowledges that some precautions were taken to prevent riots and looting. People demonstrate in Erbil often, but they don’t riot. He says that students left university voluntarily, and that though people were being killed in Suli, only five casualties occurred, three of which were policemen. I imagined that I would be interrogated or harassed by Dr. Sadiq, but he was adamant that there was freedom of press, freedom of peaceful demonstration. He acknowledged that corruption existed, and would take time to address. But he seemed weary when we talked about the events happening in Suli.

“Erbil is a city that has been plagued by war for years.” His phone rings, but his thoughts are elsewhere and he doesn’t seem to hear it.

The U.S. Embassy advised citizens against traveling to Suli, but we weren’t prohibited. My first trip there after the protests began was chaotic. Guards who couldn’t read my passport sufficiently enough to identify me as an American interviewed me at almost every checkpoint, and in Kurdish usually. My taxi driver got lost in the town of Kirkuk, a place populated by Arabs, infamous for kidnapping foreigners and usually killing them. At the next checkpoint in Kirkuk, I was relieved to encounter a Turkomen guard. “Listen,” I told him in Turkish, “I made a huge mistake riding with this guy. Please just do anything you need to do, inspect and investigate now, and call down the road to every checkpoint to allow us to get out of here.” He understood, agreed, and made it happen.

But then once inside the district of Suli, the interrogation, illiterate investigation of my passport, and inspection of my backpack happened again.

I went to the bazaar’s square, which had been renamed Maidany Azadi, “Freedom Square”, and found everything fairly normal. There were militia, but they lounged a few blocks away, sipping tea, bored to the point of begging me to have my photo taken with them. The one protester I interviewed that day simply shouted, “We want government, we want money!” Later I spoke to a poet who had driven down to Suli from Erbil to speak, but was not allowed to address the crowds. He retreated in fear of his life. Seeing video footage of the event, friends in Erbil said, “This is your freedom square. Tell me, how is this freedom?”

Soon after, a similar event happened in Egypt: Women who gathered in the square were harassed. Their crime was appearing in public to celebrate International Women’s Day. I got in touch with an expat of fluent Kurdish-speaking abilities, who explained his take on the situation with me, then gave me an extended tour of places I hadn’t seen when I lived there. We argued, “Jan” and I, in a collegiate way, about Kurdistan’s main problems. His biggest point is this: Kurdistan needs a sense of identity and regional pride. And that comes with work, with pride in your work because it’s unique and represents your region and your identity. Nothing is made in Kurdistan; Kurds value cheap imported products over anything superior that they could produce. They don’t value their heritage, its centuries old buildings. Jan remarks that it’s shameful

that outside groups such as UNESCO are protecting what the citizens won’t protect.

Jan sees it this way: What’s happening in the Middle East is simply a misunderstanding of democracy and the government’s role in the citizens’ lives. Citizens are always turning to the government for solutions or blame when they fail to hold themselves, as independent citizens responsible. As long as the Middle East, as a region, looks to the government as a father figure to improve their lives, there will always be recurring protests and violence.

Replacing one father figure with another is not good enough. Democracy, Jan argues, is a government run by the people, not a people run by its government.

Still, this conflict remains unresolved here in Kurdistan as it does all over the Middle East. Revolutions rarely happen overnight, without struggle and unified voices, without a clear plan for the future, without personal work in a new system and respect for all citizens. Governments rarely relinquish power without resistance; they maintain that they are needed if only to protect all citizens from harming each other in a multicultural society. Ideas of democracy differ, yet the Middle East is taking the first steps in practicing, in learning to find a unified voice.

For more in-depth coverage and photos of the protests in Suli, please visit themovingsilent.wordpress.com

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OPINION

On The Beat

The King of the Road M

y first police car. When I began my career, the first one I piloted was, as it is for most city cops, a royal piece of crap. Real Blues Brothers stuff if you’ve seen it. (Netflix it, kiddies; you won’t get it, but there is greatness in that film.)

Before I get too far, know that I’m not looking back wistfully with a stupid grin on my face and a glass of scotch being swirled in my hand as I reminisce; quite the opposite.

I have a scowl and…well, let’s just say that isn’t scotch in the glass.

It was a 1988 Chevy Caprice, and it was irresponsible in nearly every aspect of its design. I’m not just talking about the obvious stuff: Of course the tires were bald. Of course there were no airbags, of course there were no seatbelts.

No…what got my attention first was the hole in the floorboard you could drop a cantaloupe through. It was amusing to see the pavement zipping below you on a dry day and you had a never-ending garbage can, to be sure…but on a rainy day, let me tell you, Constant Reader—that was just downright bool-shit. And let me tell you something about carbon monoxide poisoning: Not A Joke, it turns out.

The vinyl bench seat. This was a really sick move when you also consider the lack of seatbelts. (The belts, if you were wondering, were cut to leave the buckle in the latch to keep the “dinger” from going off. We’re cops, so why pull the dinger out of the socket when you can disable safety devices, instead?)

The first hard left turn a cop makes in such a situation, though, is a memorable one… because if you’re lucky you remembered to keep holding onto the wheel as you slide fully into the passenger’s seat while doing 20 or 30 mph amid traffic, wondering (for the first of an eternity

of times), “What just happened?!” Had I wound up driving through the front plate-glass windows of the Krispy Kreme my first time experiencing that… well. Let’s just say Officer Teach wouldn’t be penning a column on law enforcement these days.

It wasn’t all bad, though.

In time, our automotive folks were kind enough to rivet a carved-up stop sign over the hole, and it did have a real, honest-to-goodness carburetor.

Many of us would flip the breather cover upside down to amplify the sound of the engine, which we would use to flush our prey from the redbrick buildings just as a hunter would flush pheasants from a field. What an amazing and distinctive sound. I truly miss it. (And let me say from experience, the sound of a fuel-injector pump literally does nothing in the War on Crime.)

The beginning of the end of cars as we knew them, however, didn’t just come in the form of airbags, as you may have suspected. No. Having smashed my face into the thin-but-cruel Chevrolet steel and plastic more than once, I welcomed them most vociferously. No. “It was the anti-lock brakes what done us in,” I scrawled upon a police bulletin board once.

Anti-lock brakes contradicted much of our training.

“Threshold braking” was a principal in which if it took 10 pounds of pressure on the brake pedal to lock them up and it took 9.999 to get you to stop on a dime without locking up the brakes (and therefore maintaining control) you learned where your car’s 9.999 pounds of pressure was when braking for that car. Being able to stop in a

Alex Teach

precise position and distance is crucial to the less sensible things we are forced to do, and now it’s a crapshoot (as far as “precision” goes). And because of that…no more “J-Turns”.

A dear friend referred to them as “Doing a ‘Rockford Files’”, named after a TV show 70 percent of you won’t recognize, but it’s the move where you drive backwards extremely fast, then hit the brakes while jerking the wheel right and simultaneously throwing it into “drive” to proceed forward. Expert-level move, but now it’s gone… like tears in rain.

“Many of us would flip the breather cover upside down to amplify the sound of the engine, which we would use to flush our prey from the redbrick buildings.”

Still, though—the oldest ones I’ve driven and the newest both still have one thing in common which allows me to reconcile my thoughts and feelings: I didn’t have to buy or maintain them. Sure, as a taxpayer myself I contributed to a portion, but it does make losing the effectiveness only slightly more bearable.

I must pause now, to heal. (After all…it was not scotch in that glass we spoke of so very long ago.)

When Officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student, carpenter, boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center. Follow him on Facebook at www.facebook.com/alex.teach

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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ARTS

Feature

The Paradox of Mirror, Mirror

By Michael Crumb, Pulse Contributing Writer

A

rt by Ron Buffington and John Tallman currently shows at the Front Gallery on Rossville Avenue. Buffington and Tallman both serve on the UTC art faculty. Consequently, their art both reflects and participates in contemporary art styles. These styles may not be the most common here in Chattanooga, but it’s very important that they have a presence here.

During recent decades, the relationship between art and discourse about art has become particularly intense. From issues concerning the presentations of subjectivities to the actual status of an art object’s relationship to the viewer’s reception, many questions are raised and many paradoxes are proffered. An additional complexity that concerns the business and value of art in our consumer society may cloud aesthetic perceptions.

scanner goes to black when confronted by a mirror and under certain conditions or stresses will produce light in various colors. Buffington has much experience as a painter, and also teaches theory.

Some of the discussion concerning art and theory provides a context for “seeing” art, thereby somehow diminishing the autonomy of the art object.

An understanding of the theory allows, as a theorist might say, a multipositional relation to the artwork; that is, theory provides multiple perspectives for appreciation. This diversity of perspectives can actually encourage new ways of perceiving or creating. Artists may react against a theory and discover new vision.

So, Buffington’s impulse to antagonize the device may actually have more aesthetic significance than the photographs produced by the tortured machine.

In science, an experiment goes awry and we have X-rays.

What accident will liberate the force that overcomes gravity and allows us a new form of being? Art and science parallel each other’s discoveries, and, likely, one can provoke discovery in the other. After all, much contemporary art has developed because of new technologies.

Tallman concerns himself with the relationships that obtain between the artwork and the viewer. His asymmetrical dark gray trapezoid partakes of a contemporary trend that hybridizes painting and sculpture by hanging solid geometrics. Tallman’s angles tend to engage the vision more

“The scanner goes to black when confronted by a mirror and under certain conditions or stresses will produce light in various colors.”

Many talented artists have presented unique and complex visions, and such visions key our development as a civilization. It’s been shown that the essence of technology is vision. Art has always required technology to present its vision, and out modern technological culture engulfs us with its profusion of devices that both remind us of the importance of design and provide us with many art media.

The impulse of Buffington’s work on view appears to push the limits of a particular technology into the production of an artistic vision. This seems counterintuitive, but this sort of play can provide insight. Buffington’s work is photographic and the productive device is an optical scanner. The

acutely. Further, the dark surface reflects the viewer. So, as the viewer plays close attention to the work, the viewer finds this attention reflected back.

This dynamic also comes out of Buffington’s “Black Mirror” photographs. It presents a kind of aesthetic parable. The more deeply someone understands art, the more likely to develop a personal understanding, to raise one’s consciousness.

There certainly are no guarantees concerning anyone’s intentions around a particular work, but the idea of intention can provide an aesthetic ground. Roger Halligan’s framed drawings surreally evade their resemblances to manufactured objects, yet they partake of an illusionism that suggests a relation to actual things the viewer may have seen. The apparent intention to evade recognition provokes the recognition of the integrity of the artwork, yet another aesthetic paradox.

The artist produces: Tallman creates a red-scale blob abstract, and Jan Chenoweth cheerily abuses her canvases to interesting effect. So go and discover how these works appear to you. You may surprise yourself.

Front Gallery @ Chenoweth-Halligan Studios 1800 Rossville Ave., Suite 1 Hours: Thur-Sat, 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. or by appointment (423) 280-0531 Closing reception: May 28, 5-8 p.m.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

Chattanooga State Voice Faculty Concert Sacred and oratorio music.

Free 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga State Humanities Theatre, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3383.

Thursday

Theaterquest: Art Acts Part 6 6 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944. www.huntermuseum.org Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Lookouts vs. Huntsville Stars 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Music Recital 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga State, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3207. www.chattanoogastate.edu Hunter Mash Up 7:30 p.m. Hunter Museum of American Art, 10 Bluff View.

(423) 266-0944.

UTC Chattanooga Singers and Chamber Singers 7:30 p.m. 2nd Presbyterian Church, 700 Pine St. (423) 425-4269. www.utc.edu/music

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Southern Woodwind Quintet 7:30 p.m. Southern Adventist University Ackerman Auditorium, 4881 Taylor Cr., Collegedale.

(423) 236-2000.

Landry 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com

Friday

Earth Dayz 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Dinner and Dirt!

6:30 p.m. Crabtree Farms, 1000 East 30th St. (423) 493-9155. www.crabtreefarms.org Lookouts vs. Huntsville Stars 7:15 p.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. (423) 267-2208. www.lookouts.com Landry 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Blues for Mr. Charlie 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Mystery of Flight 138 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Saturday

First Annual Chattanooga Football Club Cup 8 a.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter St. www.chattanoogafc.com Message in a Milk Jug 8 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.tnaqua.org 2nd Annual Oral Cancer Awareness Walk 9 a.m. First Tennesee Pavilion, 1826 Reggie White Blvd.

(423) 266-4041 www.oralcancer-screening.org Outdoor Expo and Rock/Creek Gear Swap 10 a.m. Coolidge Park, 150 River St. (423) 643-6889.

Hug A Bunny Day 10 a.m. Chattanooga Zoo, 301 North Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322. www.chattzoo.org Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m. Grace Episcopal Church, 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 458-6281.

Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

Blues for Mr. Charlie

James Baldwin’s powerful play, never before seen in Chattanooga. Talk back following performance. $18 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Circle Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com Earth Dayz 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Art till Dark Noon. 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999. www.arttildark.com Arts Live: Theatre Games 2 p.m. Creative Discovery Museum, 321 Chestnut St. (423) 648-6043. www.cdmfun.org MainStreet Cruise-In 3 p.m. Courthouse Square, Downtown Cleveland. www.mainstreetcruisein.com Mystery at the Nightmare Office Party 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com Landry 7:30, 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

ARTS

Arts & Events Calendar

SATURDAY

Zanzibar Studios presents art, music and dance Special guest Miss Rachel Brice. $20 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

An Evening of Art, Music, & Dance 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theatre, 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org Blues for Mr. Charlie 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534.

Saturday Night Movie with Ms. Kitty 8 p.m. Baylor School Student Center, 171 Baylor School Rd. (423) 267-8505.

Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Mystery at the Redneck-Italian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Jazz Ensemble Concert 9 p.m. Southern Adventist University Ackerman Auditorium, 4881 Taylor Cr,. Collegedale.

(423) 236-2000.

TUESDAY

Female Impersonation Show Midnight. Images, 6065 Lee Hwy. (423) 855-8210. www.imagesbar.com

Sunday

Easter at Coolidge 9 a.m. Coolidge Park, 150 River St. (423) 877-2643. www.stuartheights.org Easter Brunch 10 a.m. Back Inn Café, 412 East 2nd St. (423) 265-5033. www.bluffviewartdistrict.com Earth Dayz 11 a.m. Rock City, 1400 Patten Rd. Lookout Mountain.

(800) 854-0675. www.seerockcity.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Monday

Cultural Plan 2011 5:30 p.m. Loose Cannon Gallery, 1800 Rossville Blvd.

423) 756-2787.

UTC Wind Ensemble 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4269. www.utc.edu/music Leah Seawright 7:30 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125.

Tennessee Beer Pong Champions League Opening Night 9 p.m. Northshore Grille, 16 Frazier Ave. www.tbpcleague.com

Tuesday

Super Snakes 9 a.m. Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad St. (423) 648-2496. www.tnaqua.org Senior Recital 6 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N. Ocoee St., Cleveland.

(423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu/theatre Songwriter’s Line-up 7 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081.

George T. Hunter Lecture Series: Dr. Vandana Shiva 7 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4269. www.benwood.org Classic Literature Book Club: The Man Who Was Thursday 7 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 432-8579.

Faculty Studio Recital 7:30 p.m. Lee University, 1120 N Ocoee St., Cleveland.

(423) 614-8000. www.leeuniversity.edu/theatre

Wednesday

Go Red for Women Luncheon 9 a.m. Chattanooga Convention Center, 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001. www.goredforwomen.org

Dr. Vandana Shiva at the George T. Hunter Lecture Series

World authority on the global food system.

Free 7 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center, Roland Hayes Concert Hall, at the corner of Vine & Palmetto Sts. www.benwood.org

Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m. Main St. at Williams St. www.mainstfarmersmarket.com Jewish Film Series: Yoo-Hoo, Mrs. Goldberg 5:30 p.m. Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 N. Terrace Rd. (423) 493-0270. www.jewishchattanooga.com 2011 A.V. Angel Hair Challenge 7 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Ensemble Performance 7:30 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 725 Vine St. (423) 425-4269. www.utc.edu/Music Chattanooga Ghost Tour 8:15 p.m. Walnut Street Bridge, 1 Walnut St. (423) 821-7125. www.chattanoogaghosttours.com “The Southern Way: Grits, Gals, and Glory” Bessie Smith Cultural Center, 200 E. Martin Luther King Blvd.

(423) 266-8658.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Feature

Kitty Kat Ball 2011

By Tara V, Pulse Music Writer

S

o there is this woman that I think insanely highly of. From day one with The Pulse she was there, showing me the way, feeding me animal crackers, sharing her huge smile and hiding her frustration with my ignorance of spreadsheets. What was once an awkward first-time internship blossomed into Christmas gatherings, discussing career goals over cocktails, a shoulder during the loss of my father, a mentor, a friend, and so much more.

Good people are hard to find, and great ones are even harder.

On February 22, this woman was in a single-car accident. After being stuck in the car for 15 minutes, she was rushed to the hospital. We now have a picture of the spray paint that stated her accident a fatality; they did not believe she would make it through the night.

So let’s get down to the details and why you should come out.

A $20 ticket will provide you with food from local loves such as Joi of Cooking Catering, On The List Catering, The Honest Pint, B (three) Cupcakes and more. Big River will be providing their hometown brews and your ticket price includes two beers. There will be other beverages available for our cocktail friends and soda fans.

The silent auction will host a slew of about 60 amazing local goodies with too many to name—but some of the highlights are a chance to throw the first pitch at a home Lookouts game, a VIP Country Golf Classic package, Soddy Daisy Smiles whitening package, dinner for two at Urban Stack, $100 towards a tattoo by Brandy at Standard Ink, massages, local art, box seats, and gift cards. The list goes on and on and there is something for everyone! This once again shows the giving nature of our community. The silent auction will be held from 5-8 p.m., so get there soon.

Keep your eyes out and you may end up taking home something to brag about!

Then there is the music. “Oh my, oh my,” as Sandy the Flower Man would say. From 6-8 p.m. we have a wildly diverse group of local musicians who are

“Next Thursday, on April 28 at Warehouse Row, we are giving back in order to help Kat continue her road to recovery.”

Kathryn Dunn made it back to work this week. After nearly three unsure months, traumatic brain injury, sore ribs, vision issues, therapy, and many terms that my non-qualified medical vocabulary could mention, she is back at work.

There is still a long way to go but her strength and determination is inspiring to say the least. Next Thursday, on April 28 at Warehouse Row, we are giving back in order to help Kat continue her road to recovery.

The Kitty Kat Ball is an initiative of all those who have benefited by Kat’s spirit and humor. I have been honored to do my part, but you will be astounded by the donations of music, food, and items for the silent auction.

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giving their time, talent and support.

Music starts as 6 p.m. with singer songwriter Gabe Newell.

Rick Rushing and the Blues Strangers will show you their blues/rock infusion.

Bluegrass will then take the stage with the young men from Slim Pickens. Glamourlyke will turn up the dance with their R&B/hip-hop renditions and the sultry energetic jazz/rock sound of Ashley and The X’s will end the night. This showcase of music from our area will open your mind as well as your ears.

The Kitty Kat Ball will be an amazing night of music, local flair, and fundraising for one of our favorite local gals in order to support her getting back on her feet.

The number of people who have already shown their support should give reason enough for your attendance and as you enjoy this weekend of music, save the date for next Thursday April 28 at Warehouse Row. One hundred percent of proceeds are going to Kathryn Dunn.

The Kitty Kat Ball $20 ticket at the door, includes food and two beers (21 and up only) 5-11 p.m.

Thursday, April 28 Warehouse Row, 1110 Market St The Kitty Kat Ball on Facebook

MUSIC

Ernie Paik's New Music Reviews

Frank Pahl

Music for Architecture (frankpahl.com)

To the uninitiated, extended techniques—that is, playing a musical instrument in a way not originally intended, like plucking a piano’s strings or bowing a violin behind its bridge—may seem gimmicky or just plain ridiculous. However, certain extended techniques have been used in classical music for centuries, and they’re often part of a modern jazz, new classical, or free improv musician’s arsenal of skills. The new album from Frank Pahl—sound artist, score composer, singer/songwriter and instrument inventor, to name a few of his roles—entitled Music for Architecture is centered on the extended technique of prepared piano, which is most often associated with experimental composer John Cage. Pahl has a carefully tricked-out piano with objects—like bottle caps, coins and screws—wedged between its strings, giving him the ability the produce an

astounding array of sounds, being a perfect example of the validity of extended techniques and how they can provide a greatly expanded sound vocabulary.

With his prepared piano, Pahl generates percussion-like wooden and metallic sounds, unusual buzzes and rattles, and can even impressively approximate a gamelan orchestra. Pahl introduces a few extra instruments at certain times, like a melodica and a chanter, and lends some whistling on “The Mid-Century Modern Waltz.” The 15-minute “The Eero Suite” uses themes Pahl created for a documentary about the modernist architect Eero Saarinen, who designed the Gateway Arch in St. Louis, and it’s the most varied, mysterious piece on the album, with a spacious second half that goes into Harold Budd-esque ambient territory. Music for Architecture has a constant focus on melody and a generally unwavering meter, often strolling through songs using straight eighth notes; the lack of rhythmic diversity may be puzzling, but it actually fits in with the album’s architectural theme, suggesting a mathematical precision. The quirky yet inviting album is like a challenge Pahl has offered to himself, to foster creativity by concentrating on the odd instrument of prepared piano, conveying a playful, sometimes wistful spirit.

Secret Cities Strange Hearts (Western Vinyl)

There’s an escapist, transportive quality about certain music that can bring pleasure; ethnic flourishes, vivid lyrics, or otherworldly sounds can take listeners to unfamiliar lands, but when it comes to the second album, Strange Hearts, from the Fargo, North Dakota trio Secret Cities, it’s the recording style that carries the listener away to another place and time. It brings to mind distinctive producers from the ’60s such as Joe Meek and Phil Spector with a rare kind of home-spun studio eccentricity that’s simultaneously cozy and odd, and it makes perfect sense to know that the album was actually recorded in the vault and basement of an abandoned bank in Missouri.

The opener “Always Friends” offers a charmingly muddy, decades-removed, reverb-

drenched sound that puts the band in line with pop nostalgics Saturday Looks Good to Me or perhaps an off-kilter, less earthy Fleet Foxes.

Co-founder Charlie Gokey delivers a vaguely ’20s-style high-pitched vocal delivery, complemented by unabashed, tuneful whistling; however, when the distorted guitar licks arrive with Alex Abnos’s crashing cymbals and drumbeats, the song places itself in a more modern age.

Two of the album’s more apparent throwbacks include “Forest of Love,” which resembles the Beach Boys’ “You’re So Good to Me” but with a faster bounce, and the concise, irresistible “No Pressure,” with a crisp melody accented by tambourine hits. Perhaps the album’s finest moment is the sweetly reserved “Pebbles,” on which group co-founder Marie Parker sings, with gradually elevating pitches, “It’s time to go home now / The drag race is over / You smashed up your car.” This critic admits to having a soft spot for this kind of nostalgic garage pop, and anyone can ape past styles; however, Secret Cities goes beyond that, demonstrating a real knack for fashioning and recording its subtly engaging, ever-shifting arrangements.

Secret Cities will play JJ’s Bohemia on Friday, April 22.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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MUSIC

Concert Calendar FRIDAY

THURSDAY

River City Songwriter’s Night Channing Wilson, Arlo Gilliam, Dave Kennedy $7 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Thursday

Vinyl Night 6 p.m. Pasha Coffee & Tea, 3914 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 475-5482. www.pashacoffeehouse.com Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. The CampHouse, 1427 Williams St. (423) 702-8081. www.thecamphouse.com Blues Jam with Rick Rushing 7:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Colour Revolt, The Tammys 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Jimmy Harris 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Buckner Brothers 8 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5055.

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Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m. The Office, 901 Carter St. (inside Days Inn). facebook.com/theofficechatt DJ “O” Mixing Up The Beats!

9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Friday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com Ben Friberg 6:30 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253. www.table2restaurant.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

For Today, Chelsea Grin, Motionless In White, For the Fallen Dreams, In The Midst OF Lions, In This Hour 6:30 p.m. The Warehouse.

412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Smooth Flight Jazz 8 p.m. The Foundary at The Chattanoogan, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.chattanooganhotel.com Scenic City Soul Revue 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. southsidesaloonandbistro.com

Cahalen Morrison & Eli Smith 8 p.m. Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org The Brock Blues Band 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Sun Domingo 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker Casey Adams 9 p.m. The Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacousticcafe.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Spectators, 7804 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648- 6679.

DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005.

Nathan Farrow 10 p.m. T-Bone’s, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Machines Are People Too, Secret Cities 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia The Wrong Way: A Tribute to Sublime 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Convertibull 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Cahalen Morrison and Eli West New and vibrant take onroots music. $10 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater, 1307 Dodds Ave, (423) 624-5347. www.barkinglegs.org

Saturday

Johnny Cash Tribute Band 5 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo Victorian Lounge, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000. www.choochoo.com Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Shutter, Chokeslam, Covered in Scars 7 p.m. The Warehouse.

412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Smooth Flight Jazz 8 p.m. The Foundary at The Chattanoogan, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 756-3400. www.chattanooganhotel.com Gordon Tentrees & Sarah MacDougall 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org

MUSIC

Concert Calendar

SATURDAY

Moonlight Bride, Today the Moon, Tomorrow the Sun Atlanta’s dance/grunge Today with local faves Moonlight. $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Never Surrender 8 p.m. Southside Saloon & Bistro, 1301 Chestnut St. (423) 757-4730. southsidesaloonandbistro.com Foundation Band 8 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898.

Bitter Lesson 8 p.m. McHale’s Brewhouse, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 877-2124. www.mchalesbrewhouse.com Moonlight Bride, Today the Moon, Tomorrow the Sun 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Filliment 9 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Sun Domingo 9 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919. www.myspace.com/jimstriker

SUNDAY

Bounty Hunter 9 p.m. The Acoustic Cafe, 61 RBC Dr., Ringgold, GA. (706) 965-2065. www.ringgoldacousticcafe.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com DJ and Dancing 9 p.m. The Lounge at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202. (423) 499-5005. www.thepalmshamilton.com Whiskey Run 10 p.m. T-Bone’s, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com Velcro Pygmies 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Convertibull 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Sunday

Traditional Irish Music 3 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Pkwy. (423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com The Unsatisfied, Ashley, Comedy Show 8 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com

Monday

Old Tyme Jam Session 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Big Band Nite 8 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Live DJ – Karaoke 8 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Emmitt Nershi Band 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Tuesday

Our Last Night, Vanna, A Bullet for Pretty Boy, Armor For The Broken, Encounters 7 p.m. The Warehouse.

412 Market St. www.warehousevenue.com Mike McDade's Open Mic Night 8 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pk. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Karaoke with DJ Salt 9:30 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Wintersounds 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

The Unsatisfied, comedy show, Ashley

CD release party for The Unsatisfied. $7 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Wednesday

Jimmy Harris 6:30 p.m. The Coconut Room at The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Ben Friberg 7 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423)634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Johnston Brown 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd., #202.

(423) 499-5055.

DJ Spins Karaoke 9 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lakeshore Dr. (423) 870-0777. www.bartslakeshore.com Old Number Seven 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Honest Local Music Night: Wet Cadillac, Ashley and the X’s 9 p.m. The Honest Pint, 35 Patten Parkway.

(423) 468-4192. www.thehonestpint.com www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Life In The ‘Noog

Smarter Than Your Honor Student M

ost students in the ‘noog have just completed the annual ritual of comparing their collective brains against every other kid in Tennessee through the tried and true method of standardized testing.

Called the “T-CAPs”—which I believe stands for “Tennessee Can Always Punt” —this test dumbs down what your kid (should have) learned in class into thinly veiled carrot-led inquiries with only one obvious right answer from up to four possibilities.

Despite the fact that officials say results of these tests are meant to “provide valuable information regarding student progress,” it doesn’t take Phil Fulmer to figure out that those schools whose students do well on these exams receive more funding than those who end up with fourth and ten.

So, principals and teachers take this hoop-jumping exercise very, very seriously.

Not just because they want Tennessee to once again edge out Mississippi, but also because deep down they know that their salaries—as well as their chances of receiving a library book during this millennium—are riding on the limited testtaking enthusiasm of the little sponges they pour knowledge into every day.

I was driving by one local middle school with a message board that read, “Eat well, sleep well and be on time—TCAP testing this week.” Really? Shouldn’t kids be encouraged to perform those rituals each and every school day? There must be a special alertness needed to carefully color in those little ovals with nothing but a number-two pencil.

Growing up I never knew there were different numbers of pencils until I was handed a number two during standardized testing time and told to break my other ones so I wouldn’t be tempted to “switch it up” with a rogue number three or number five. I always wondered why we didn’t use a number one instead of second best. I guess they save those for the private school kids.

As a little fourth grader I know was preparing for this year’s normalcy assessment, I was reminded of my experience as a child doing the same hat

Chuck Crowder

“Growing up I never knew there were different numbers of pencils until I was handed a number two during standardized testing time and told to break my other ones.” trick. I remember our teacher carefully checking the grade of pencil we brought before instructing us to sharpen them well—but not too much—because if the lead broke during the exam, the governor himself would surely walk through the door and go berserk. “Damn it son, if you can’t push a pencil any better than that you’ll never amount to more than an employee of the state!”

Then the teacher passed out blank “Scantron” answer cards along with an instruction sheet (likely written by a state employee) on the fine art of properly filling in an oval—and only one—for each corresponding question. Going outside of the oval perimeter, failing to completely enclose the oval with darkened shades of lead or (God forbid) using any other pencil besides the teacher-approved number two surely meant your test answers wouldn’t count and your family’s home would

mysteriously catch fire.

After distributing one of many question booklets to come, sensitive governmentissued instructions were read and then eaten before the teacher exclaimed, “You have 21 minutes and 18 seconds to complete this module. Readdddddy—go!”

First question: “A whale is considered: A) A fish, B) A mammal, C) None of the above, or D) All of the above.”

Well, whales live in the ocean and need water to breathe so they’re like fish.

However, most mammals swim…I mean, I swim…and I eat fish like whales do… but do they eat mammals ‘cause I eat mammals too? I’ve always thought whales as mammal-esque, you know, minus the fins and stuff.

But wait, maybe whales are neither.

Why would they put “none of the above” as a possible answer unless there’s at least a third unlisted option besides fish or mammal? Marsupial maybe? “None of the above” always struck me as a horrible way to screw with a kid’s head. If you answer “none of the above” then you either know that it’s something else, or none of it looks familiar so what the hell?

“All of the above” is a crap shoot too, only worse. In this case, if the answer is truly “all of the above,” and I answer “A” or “B” then I’m not completely wrong—just not completely right. Plus, and this is where expert Ph.D. testing composition logic fails, the positioning of “D) All of the above” in this case actually includes “C) None of the above” causing the perceivably wrong answer of “C” to inadvertently cancel out the correct answer of “D”. Right?

That’s where standardized testing fails.

And, unlike Tennessee’s school kids who may or may not be doing so grade-wise, this exercise in no way sets a course for the future. That’s why you should always answer “D”, my friends. It’s all of the above.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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SCREEN

Film Feature

Original, Brilliant Certified Copy

By Phillip Johnston, Pulse Film Critic

T

he essayist James Miller has written an essay collection on copies of art, a book that has been translated into Italian and brought him to Florence, the heart of Italy and the place of the book’s inspiration, for a lecture and a signing. Though he is neither an art historian nor critic by trade, Miller’s premise is simple and controversial. “The copy itself has worth in that it leads us to the original,” he says, “and in this way certifies its value.”

James Miller is played by William Shimell, the heralded British opera star, whose sonorous baritone captures the attention of a nameless woman played by Juliette Binoche, who received Best Actress at Cannes last year for this performance. Though we will travel with her and James for almost the entire length of Certified Copy, we never find out her name. But Certified Copy (this week’s selection in the Arts and Education Council’s Independent Film Series) is so masterful a film that we never quite notice or care.

and home to some impressive art copies.

Certified Copy is a film by Abbas Kiarostami, the Iranian auteur behind Close-Up, The Wind Will Carry Us, and Taste of Cherry. This is his first film set outside of his native Iran, but Kiarostami would be comfortable anywhere.

With Certified Copy he draws from many inspirations—Richard Linklater’s Before Sunset, Alain Resnais Last Year at Marienbad, Michelangelo Antonioni’s Blow-Up, just to name a few—and crafts something so much his own, so purely cinematic that it is difficult not to be drawn in.

Kiarostami’s approach to conversation is magnetic. When Binoche and Shimell are walking through the streets, his camera follows them fluidly and simply, but when the two sit down, when they are forced to focus solely on one another either in the car or at a table, he frames each of them in dead-centered single closeups, forcing the audience into their gaze. With lesser actors, this technique would seem shrill and false, but Juliette Binoche is one of the finest living actresses, so fiercely sincere and beautiful; and Shimell effuses personality and dry wit—both are impossible to ignore.

It is a delight in itself just to watch these two magnificent actors banter back and forth, but the greatness of Certified Copy is that there are layers upon layers to the conversation. As She and James ride to Lucignano the subject of their dialogue begins with art and moves on to fam-

“Within less than two hours, Certified Copy has taken these two people to an entirely unpredictable place and time.

The result is something magnificent.”

“She” is a single mother, an art and antiques dealer with a precocious 10-year-old son. James agrees to her invitation to meet and She is surprised to find that he is a brash, pompous, self-impressed know-it-all—a scholar with brilliant, even wise insight that he can never live up to. Obviously bored, Miller balks at her suggestion to simply stay in her shop and chat and recommends they go somewhere else. The two get in the car and begin a daylong journey to the village of Lucignano, a haven, ironically, for newlyweds

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ily. When they arrive, it shifts from family back to art, but both parties have made personal investment into the conversation. He keeps his distance; she remains enthralled to actually be spending the day with James Miller.

Personal revelations make entrances in unexpected ways and it becomes evident that Kiarostami has placed She and James in the middle of a metaphysical maze. The two begin playacting—first a copy of her failed marriage and then, we might guess, his. Their personalities begin to break and shatter through this elaborate act. Within less than two hours, Certified Copy has taken these two people to an entirely unpredictable place and time. The result is something magnificent.

If the copy has value in that it leads us to the original, the conversation between She and James is of utmost importance. Their words and actions are leading each of them, step by painful step, into clearer reality. By the end of the film, we wonder if the copy—this labyrinth of playacting in Lucignano—will stand the test of time and continue to lead the two of them back to the source. That is the puzzle of Certified Copy and all the fun is in putting it together.

Certified Copy Directed by Abbas Kiarostami Starring William Shimell, Juliette Binoche Rated PG-13 Running time: 106 minutes

Solution To Last Week's Crossword

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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WINE & SPIRITS

Riley's Spirits Within

Stainless Steel Meets Vodka

By Joshua Hurley, Riley's Wine & Spirits

O

riginality and marketing bravura mesh together to make this week’s exciting new “Great Buy”.

Great Buys is part of this weekly column, brought to you by Riley’s Wine and Spirits on Hixson Pike in Hixson where we pick something special from around the world, then share it with the readership of The Pulse. This week’s selection is Kru 82 Vodka.

Another vodka? I said the same thing.

Every week, the suppliers introduce at least three brandnew vodkas. This does not include each brand’s flavored counterparts.

Trust me, it’s more than any store can make space for. Today, in this large playing field of vodka products, a new brand must not only be superior in taste, but also contain some type of packaging niche. Kru 82 Vodka from Holland succeeds on both fronts!

Vodka originated in 19th-century Russia and/or Poland. Its true country of origin is still being debated. Vodka appeared in its earliest form as a medicine called “vodka of bread wine”.

Vodka and whiskey, though seemingly worlds apart, actually share the two common distillation processes.

Both require pure water and natural grains in their earliest form. Where vodka and whiskey differ is that the latter is distilled at a low proof to retain flavor, while the former is distilled at a high proof to produce a clear, largely flavorless neutral spirit. (Proof reflects alcohol content.) Even though vodka has been enjoyed by Eastern Europeans for centuries, its popularity in America was virtually nonexistent until the mid-1950s when a Los Angeles restaurateur looking to find a way to use excess amounts of ginger ale created a drink mixing it, vodka and lime. The drink, later dubbed the “Moscow Mule”, caught on with the Hollywood elite, who soon began to endorse vodka as the “in” drink of America. Today, vodka makes up

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nearly 40 percent of all spirit sales and is more popular than it’s ever been.

Vodka is made all over the world.

In America, it can come from the hills and coalmines of Kentucky or, traveling across the Atlantic to Europe, in England and France and eastward to Poland and Russia; every country makes at least one vodka. Holland is no exception as it produces some of the world’s finest, including Kru 82. Its tall, shiny, stainless-steel container, just like those $20 water bottles found in sporting-goods stores, is certain to lure consumers in. Each bottle comes with a tough, nylon strap looped around its top attached to a real, sturdy carbineer and is also shatterproof and 100 percent reusable. All this combines together to make Kru 82 the ultimate outdoor spirit. This fancy packaging is sure to lure plenty of first-time customers, but how does it stack up as a vodka? I only ask because this is truly what keeps people coming back, right? Turns out Kru 82 is first rate. Made from wheat, which has long been the choice of connoisseurs around the globe, Kru 82 Vodka offers a nice, clean vodka taste with little burn and hardly any bite. All in all, this package succeeds in offering the customer a first-rate vodka and a free gift as well.

Kru 82 Vodka is available at Riley’s in five sizes, all in stainless steel containers. 200mL, $4.58 plus tax; 375mL, $9.99 plus tax; 750mL, $16.48 plus tax; 1 L, $18.31 plus tax and 1.75 L, $22.43 plus tax – Collect them all!

FOOD

Dining Out

Blacksmith’s Bistro: Laid-back But Luscious

By D.E.Langley, Pulse Food Reviewer

T

he slow-food movement keeps growing in popularity, garnering new converts on a daily basis across the country and around the world. One Chattanooga eatery that has embodied the trend since their opening in 2008 is Blacksmith’s Bistro & Bar. Located at the base of Lookout Mountain, a short drive from downtown in St. Elmo, they provide an excellent representation of the quality that comes from such a focus.

Owners Blackwell and Kelly Smith come from different backgrounds—Blackwell is a Chattanooga native who attended culinary school in Baton Rouge, while Kelly grew up in Santa Rosa, in California’s wine country.

Those origins are reflected in the marriage of concepts present on the menu.

“Our approach is twisting classics, putting a spin on flavors that people already love,” Blackwell explained. “I think you could call it New American,” Kelly added.

Crafted using locally sourced and all-natural ingredients, the offerings are certainly diverse. Appetizers include a cheese plate and a hummus plate, as well as fried green tomatoes served alongside pimento cheese and two sauces. A blackened salmon Caesar salad using those fried green tomatoes and goat cheese competes for your attention with the chicken Cobb salad with onion rings and pickled okra.

Entrées range from seared chicken with watermelon and feta relish to a macaroni and cheese crafted with Sweetwater Cheddar.

An impressive slate of sandwiches is also available, from their Georgia Reuben to the B.L.A.S.T., a BLT with shrimp and avocado.

Absolutely everything is made to order.

On my visit, I began with the Chicken Drummies, full-size chicken legs available in honey barbecue, buffalo, or my choice, orange chipotle. Crispy on the outside, they evoke the feel of a “hot wing” but with a lot more to enjoy. The orange chipotle sauce started with tang and sweetness, and a peppery heat that kept building with each bite. They were spectacular enjoyed with a Kölsch from Chattanooga Brewing Company,

one of the three offerings on tap.

My next selection was truly astounding, and something I never would have guessed I’d find in Chattanooga—a Kobe beef hamburger. Available in several variations, I chose the decadent mushroom burger. In addition to the luscious beef, the soft bun is topped with caramelized onion, thick slices of portabella mushroom, brie, Benton’s Bacon, and a white truffle mayonnaise. All that, with fries, for only $12!

This is a burger to end all burgers. Each bite had so many deliciously complementary flavors, I fear it may have ruined others for me for some time to come. I would drive hours to get this burger.

Despite the level of the cuisine they serve, Blacksmith’s is a really laid-back place, and just as easy to enjoy wearing flip-flops as it would be wearing a tie. Both the recently revamped serving staff and the other patrons I met were exceptionally friendly, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves immensely.

The joint, understandably, can get packed on weekends. I suggest stopping by earlier in the week. Not only can you beat the crowd,

but there are different daily specials to delight in, as well. On Tuesdays, all appetizers are $2 off, and well drinks are two-for-one.

Wednesdays bring the aforementioned Drummies at 50 cents per and half-priced draft beers. Half-priced bottles of wine and cheese plates feature on Thursdays.

If you can’t beat the crowd, you can join them and benefit as well—Fridays mean $5 martinis, and Saturdays offer an all day Happy Hour. If you stop in for Sunday brunch, you can grab a mimosa for $3 or a Bloody Mary for $5.

Blacksmith’s is certainly one of the hippest spots I’ve found so far in the city. Between its patio (with a gorgeous view of the Mountain), the chill attitude, and the outstanding food, it’s ideal for starting a night out right or for a high-quality meal without any staid formality. You’ll be doing yourself a favor when you stop in.

Blacksmith’s Bistro & Bar, 3914 St. Elmo Avenue. Open Tuesday to Thursday, 5 p.m. to 10 p.m., Friday 11:30 a.m. to 10 p.m., Saturday 12 p.m. to 10 p.m., and Sunday from 11:00 a.m. to 3 p.m. for brunch, and 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. for dinner. (423) 702-5461.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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ENTERTAINMENT

Free Will Astrology

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): In his book on intuition, psychologist David G. Myers defines it as “the capacity for direct knowledge and immediate insight, without any observation or reason.” Another expert on the subject, Malcolm Gladwell, describes intuition as the “power of thinking without thinking.” Both authors encourage us to cultivate this undersung way of grasping our raw experience. But Myers also warns us of the perils of intuition if it’s untempered by logic and analysis. It can lead us down rabbit holes where we lose track of the difference between our fantasies and the real world. It can cause us to mistake our fears for accurate ESP or get lost in a maze of self-fulfilling prophecies. I bring all of this to your attention, Taurus, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to hone and purify your intuition.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): One of the most impressive elements of the Egyptian uprising in January and February came after it was all over. Eighteen days of street protests created a huge mess in Cairo’s Tahrir Square and the surrounding area. When Hosni Mubarak finally resigned and reforms began percolating, thousands of demonstrators returned with brooms and rubber gloves and garbage bags to set the place back in order. I urge you to follow a similar sequence in the coming weeks, Gemini. Agitate for change; rebel against the stale status quo; fight corruption and ignorance; and once your work has led to at least a partial success, clean up after yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): “Sometimes nature seems more beautiful than strictly necessary,” said physicist Steven Weinberg as he admired a hackberry tree stoked with blue jays, yellowthroated vireos, and a red cardinal. You may find yourself thinking similar thoughts in the coming week, Cancerian. From what I can tell, life is primed to flood you with simple glories and exotic revelations, with signs of eternal splendor and hints of sublime meaning, with natural wonders and civilization’s more interesting gifts.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): I became an ordained minister in the Universal Life Church when I was 19 years old. Since then I have officiated at numerous baptisms, initiations, weddings (including marrying people to themselves), divorces, renamings, housewarmings, ghost-banishings, and the taking of primal vows. In all my years of facilitating these ceremonies, I’ve rarely seen a better time than right now for you Leos to seek a cathartic rite of passage. You may even be tempted to try several. I recommend you do no more than two, however. Are you ready to break a taboo or smash an addiction? Renounce a delusion or pledge your devotion or leap to the next level?

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SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You really should ventilate your house periodically, even when the weather’s cool. The air indoors gets stale; you need to flush it out and welcome in some fresh stuff. In my astrological opinion, it’s especially important for you to do this right now. So please consider opening all the windows for a while and inviting the breezes to blow through. In addition to its practical value for your respiratory system, it could serve as a ritual that gently blows the dusty crud out of your mind, thereby improving the circulation in your thoughts and emotions and fantasies.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): What do you like most about work? What are the pleasurable experiences that happen for you when you’re engaged in demanding tasks that require you to be focused, competent, and principled?

I think it’s important for you to identify those hard-earned joys and then brainstorm about what you can do to expand and intensify them. You’re in a phase of your long-term cycle when you can make a lot of headway toward transforming your job situation so it serves you better.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): The next phase of your life will be an excellent time to unbreak your heart. Here’s what I mean by that: You will have extra power to dissolve any pain that still lingers from the romantic disappointments of the past. You’ll be able to summon acute insights into how to dismantle the sodden and unnecessary defenses you built to protect yourself from loss and humiliation.

You will find it easier than ever before to forgive and forget any close companion who hurt you. So get out there, Capricorn, and launch the joyful process of restoring your love muscles to their original potency.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Search For Self Called Off After 38 Years,” read the headline in The Onion. “I always thought that if I kept searching and exploring, I’d discover who I truly was,” the report began, quoting 38-yearold Andrew Speth. “Well, I looked deep into the innermost recesses of my soul, and you know what I found? An empty, windowless room the size of an aircraft hangar. From now on, if anybody needs me, I’ll be sprawled out on my couch drinking black-cherry soda and watching Law & Order like everybody else.” I wonder if Speth is an Aquarius? Many of my Aquarian acquaintances seem to have hit a dead end recently in their quest to fulfill the ancient maxim “Know thyself.” If you’re like that, please hang on. The floodgates of self-discovery will open soon.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): It would be an excellent time for you to acquire the Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Kit, a package of goodies prepared by domestic expert Martha Stewart. I say this not because a Zombie Apocalypse is looming, or any other kind of apocalypse for that matter. Rather, the kit’s presence in your life might encourage you to make fun of your fears. And that would be a perfect way to cooperate with the current cosmic tendencies, which are conspiring to diminish the inhibitions that your anxieties hold in place. Remember one of the key rules in the game of life: Humor dissipates worry.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Odds are high that you know very little about Africa. Can you name even 20 of its more than 50 countries? Are you aware that its land mass is bigger than Europe, China, and the U.S. combined? Did you realize that about 2,000 languages are spoken by the people living there? I bring this up, Pisces, because from an astrological perspective it’s an excellent time for you to fill the gaps in your education about Africa—or any other subject about which you are deeply uninformed. Don’t get overwhelmed by this assignment, though. Choose maybe three areas of ignorance that you will concentrate on in the coming weeks.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Eighty years ago, an explorer who visited the Maori of New Zealand found they had such good eyesight that many were able to detect Jupiter’s four largest moons with their naked eyes. That’s the kind of vision you could have in the coming days, Libra— metaphorically speaking, at least. The astrological omens say you have the potential to see further and deeper into any part of reality you choose to focus on. Inner truths that have been hidden from you are ready to be plucked by your penetrating probes. For best results, cleanse your thoughts of expectations. Perceive what’s actually there, not what you want or don’t want to be there.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Now comes one of the supreme tests that most every Aries must periodically face: Will you live up to your promises? Will you follow through on your rousing start? Will you continue to stay passionately committed once the fiery infatuation stage evolves into the earthy foundation-building stage? Here’s a secret to succeeding at this test: You can’t just try to force yourself to “be good” and do the right thing. Nor does it work to use shame or guilt to motivate yourself. Somehow you’ve got to marshal pure, raw excitement for the gritty detail work to come. You’ve got to fall in love with the task of actually fleshing out your dreams.

ENTERTAINMENT

Jonesin' Crossword — "Return Trip" Across 1 3.14 or 4.00 4 Part of > or < 8 Turnout participant 13 Color on the flags of France and Italy 14 “Does ___ It” (song by Trey Songz) 15 Radiations of light 16 “___ Iron Man...”

17 Part 1 of a definition 19 Writing at the end of a work 21 Playwright David and family 22 Part 2 of the definition 24 “I Ain’t Marching Any More” folkie Phil 27 Rule from a dictator 28 Get embarrassed over 30 D.C. team 32 Sam of “Jurassic Park” 33 Part 3 of the definition

38 Preceding 39 Old-school soda 40 Singer Etheridge 43 Language heard in Katmandu 47 Pizzeria in “Do the Right Thing” 48 Part 4 of the definition 51 Pilot 53 ___ Online (longrunning MMORPG) 54 Word defined by the definition 57 China’s Three Gorges ___ 58 Soft drink that started out as “Brad’s Drink” 59 Ann Arbor campus, for short 60 Certain Colorado native 61 Doesn’t come for free 62 Fix kitty 63 ___ capita income

Down 1 “Good ___!”

2 Stir fry ingredient 3 Look up to 4 Alexander’s sobriquet 5 Punk band (___) p.e.

6 Stop on ___ 7 Like some diets 8 Area between hills 9 Away from the coast 10 Highly fashionable 11 Swabbed spot 12 “Collapse into Now” band 17 Funeral attendees 18 ___ nitrite (inhalant) 20 Non-profit type (hidden in FOOLSCAP) 23 The ___ Boys (Houston rappers) 25 “Hey you! Stop!”

26 Cardinals insignia 29 In a not-ready-topick manner 31 Capitol Hill figure: abbr.

33 “The Sopranos” actress de Matteo 34 Lights with wicks 35 Least likely to let you sleep 36 Strange introduction?

37 1999 Brendan Fraser movie 38 Monthly hassle 41 Word repeated alongside “old” 42 Tool that’s counterproductive?

44 Aesthete’s love 45 Down (with), as a bad illness 46 Pen dweller 49 Winning 50 Call of Duty or World of Warcraft enthusiast 52 Diamond stats 54 Palindromic Chinese political party 55 Palindromic “War on Poverty” agency 56 “Son ___ gun!”

Jonesin' Crossword created By Matt Jones. © 2011 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0516.

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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OPINION

Ask A Mexican

The Ethnic Bootstraps Dear Mexican, You seem like a smart guy and your input regarding an ethnic phenomenon I’ve observed would be of interest. I live in a tiny, gated neighborhood that I would describe as solidly middle- to upper middle-class. On each side of me live Vietnamese small business owners whose kids attend prestigious universities; across the street is a Filipino medical technologist, and four doors down is the Korean engineer. On the next block over is the Sikh Indian family and a family from Nigeria. They are all recent immigrants and except for the Indians, none of them speaks English fluently. What is conspicuously missing is even one single Mexican immigrant family, with the exception of the rich Mexican nationals from Saltillo—but they only visit on Christmas, Easter and shopping holidays. How come immigrants from south of the border stay stuck on the bottom rungs of the proverbial ladder of success for generations? By contrast, other recent immigrant groups, particularly Asians, are kicking whitey’s ass, economically speaking, by the second generation.

— Puzzled in San Antonio Dear Gabacho, “First of all, the children of immigrants from south of the border make steady intergenerational progress. In other words, each generation is doing better than the one before it in terms of socioeconomic indicators. DUH!” says Jody Agius Vallejo,

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Dear Mexican, Is it true that women migrant workers who work in the fields wear skirts or dresses over their pants so that when they have to use the bathroom in the fields, their private parts will be covered?

— Screw Latrinos

of Mexicans—essentially, that we’re shit and proof is in the periodic E. coli outbreaks that sicken and even kill Americans.

They blame the disease on illegals not washing their hands properly or cagando next to tomorrow’s grilled asparagus, not bothering to blame the farm owners who push workers to skip bathroom breaks under threat of a lesser wage, or ridiculous regulations that allow farmers to have restrooms as far away as a quarter mile from work sites (let’s see YOU march five minutes under a sweltering sun, with the pennies in your paycheck slipping away, just to take a piss) per Occupational Safety and Health Administration standards. Even more telling, incidents of E. coli entering the public have increased in los Estados Unidos even as sanitation standards are higher than ever before, suggesting something other than shitting migrant workers is amiss in our nation’s food chain—but why bother with reasoning when it’s always easier to blame Mexicans? By the way, the only report the Mexican was able to find on defecating farm workers was in a 1995 issue of the American Journal of Public Health, which showed 15 percent of them did the deed—15 percent too many, but hardly a sea of brown.

Dear Gabacha, No, but I see where you’re getting at. One of the great Know Nothing conspiracies is the fundamentally fecal nature

Have a question? Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at www.youtube.com/askamexicano!

assistant professor of sociology at the University of Southern California and a scholar who specializes in the study of the Mexican-immigrant y Mexican-American middle class. “Latino immigration is generally a low-skilled, low-wage labor migration; how can you even compare that to your Korean engineer and Filipino med tech neighbors who migrate to the U.S. with college degrees and who start off in the middle class?” Vallejo also points out that more than a few non-Latino immigrants get resettlement assistance or initially qualify for welfare, “which greatly facilitates their upward mobility.” The Mexican will only add the reality of middle-class suburbs like Whittier, California where Mexis moved into a generation ago once they made money, only to have their gabacho neighbors white-flight it out of town—you can look it up!

The Pulse | Volume 8, Issue 16 | April 21, 2011 | www.chattanoogapulse.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com | April 21, 2011 | Volume 8, Issue 16 | The Pulse

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