The Pulse - Vol. 6, Issue 39

Here, There And Everywhere Celebrating Chattanooga’s Pride Festival

By Janis Hashe

News, Views, Arts & Entertainment • September 24-30, 2009 • Volume 6, Issue 39 • www.chattanoogapulse.com • pulse news 95.3 WPLZ

CONTENTS T H E P U L S E • C H AT TA N O O G A , T E N N E S S E E • S E P T E M B E R 2 4 , 2 0 0 9 • V O L U M E 6 , I S S U E 3 9

COVER STORY

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NEWS & VIEWS 6 BEYOND THE HEADLINES 10 SHRINK RAP 17 LIFE IN THE NOOG

18 ON THE BEAT 23 SHADES OF GREEN 37 ASK A MEXICAN

ARTS & FEATURES 20 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT By Michael Crumb The 2010 Fandom Girls Calendar has returned to Chattanooga after its Labor Day outing at Dragon*Con in Atlanta. The Fandom girls will be offering their own tasty baked goods and will be on hand to sign their calendar pages at Dicehead Games.

25 FILM FEATURE

By Phillip Johnston We Americans are pretty good at satire – one need only look at the plays of Neil Simon, the essays of David Sedaris, and the whole canon of James Thurber to realize it—but we can’t quite claim the concept as our own.

30 TABLE SERVICE By Collen Wade You could park outside either location of City Café Diner and watch people come and go—and the majority of those people would leave carrying a takeout box.

32 MUSICAL FEATURE

By Hellcat I generally write about upcoming shows and local venues in town—but the last few weeks, I have been noticing several trends I felt like I should point out to all of our local music-goers.

33 MUSICAL FEATURE

By Phillip Johnston The Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra Masterworks series presents its first concert of the season Thursday and Friday, featuring acclaimed violinist Alexandre de Costa and works by two pillars of the concert tradition: Beethoven and Brahms.

Cover layout by Kelly Lockhart

HERE, THERE AND EVERYWHERE

By Janis Hashe As September slips into October, we begin thinking about annual autumn events—maybe figuring out what we’re going to be for Halloween this year (along with looking forward to being less soggy).

But there’s another October event that’s becoming a Chattanooga tradition—Gay Pride Week.

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EDITOON LETTERS TO THE EDITOR PULSE BEATS CITY COUNCILSCOPE THE LIST POLICE BLOTTER

9 CHATTANOOGA STREET SCENES 21 A&E CALENDAR 26 MYSTICAL DUDE’S HOROSCOPE 27 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 29 SPIRITS WITHIN 33 MUSIC CALENDAR

The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Brewer Media Group.

No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. The Pulse utilizes freelance writers and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. The Pulse takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, artwork or other materials.

The

Editoon

by Rick Baldwin

Publisher Zachary Cooper zcooper@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Editor Janis Hashe jhashe@chattanoogapulse.com News Editor Gary Poole gpoole@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Editor Kathryn Dunn Advertising Sales Rick Leavell rleavell@chattanoogapulse.com Leif Sawyer leif@brewermediagroup.com Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano Chuck Crowder Michael Crumb Hellcat Joshua Hurley Victoria Hurst Stuart James Phillip Johnston Matt Jones Kelly Lockhart Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Alex Teach Julian Venable Colleen Wade Editorial Intern Tara Morris Art Director Kelly Lockhart

Letters to the Editor good (the students and teachers) and the bad (the deplorable condition of the school itself).

Susan Taylor

Art Department Sharon Chambers Damien Power Staff Photographer Damien Power

Loving The Band I studied music—both band and choir–from sixth grade to graduation. I loved it and it gave me a great appreciation for music in general. Now I belong to a small church that a third of the congregation are in the choir. We are a small group, but have a big sound.

It must be all those angels singing alongside us.

Barbara Bee

Editorial Cartoonist Rick Baldwin Contact Info: Phone (423) 648-7857 Fax (423) 648-7860 E-mail info@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising advertising@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Listings calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 phone (423) 648-7857 fax (423) 648-7860 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 500 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

Member

Telling The Truth I was surprised and very pleased to see The Pulse cover the Tyner High School marching band [“For The Love Of The Band”]. For years, the media focus on schools has either been about their sports programs or about all the things that are wrong with our education system. It was so refreshing to see a reporter go into a school such as Tyner without an agenda and report the truth, both

Thanks From Tyner I’m a serious band geek! I was in high school and now my son is in band. Plus I work at Tyner Academy so I am very happy to read this.

Thanks for doing this story.

Sally Shalett-Delashmitt Editor’s Note: We incorrectly stated the day of the Drumline event in our cover story last week.

It is scheduled for this Sunday, September 27, at Finley Stadium, beginning at 5 p.m.

Speaking The Truth Thank the Higher Power for those who aren’t afraid to speak out for what’s right...even on a broken leg [“Tremendous Week For The Police”, On The Beat]. The community thanks you, Alex.

H.A. Conroe High Speed Boondoggle So congressman Zach Wamp finds another $14 million to waste on a vanity project [“Is High-Speed Rail Back Again?”, Pulse Beats]? When are our political “leaders” going to realize that this is not Europe or Japan but the United States? If rail travel was so popular, why is Amtrak always losing money?

Instead of pouring bad money after worse, let’s spend it on something useful like safer roads and better mileage cars and alternative fuels instead of a high-speed pipe dream.

Daniel Carlson

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week: A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“If the police are out driving their cars and they see someone speeding, they’re going to be stopping and educating some people out there when they give them a ticket.”

—Chattanooga City Council Chairman Jack Benson after the council funded police take-home cars instead of drivers’ education.

The Valley Turns Into Waterworld For the better part of the past decade, large portions of the region have been suffering from neardrought conditions. For the past week, water restrictions and drought planning have been the farthest thing from people’s minds, as the Tennessee Valley has been deluged by storm after storm.

The resultant flooding has hit the region hard, with numerous reports of flooded roads, house, buildings and schools. Tragically, one man died after being swept into a flooded culvert on E. 14th Street on Sunday.

Fire and EMS personnel were able to save another man from the same fate, but the danger of swollen creeks and waterways remains ever-present.

John Hitchens with the Chattanooga chapter of the American Red Cross said the agency has assisted a number of families who have been displaced by the flooding as well as opening several emergency shelters.

Any flood victims in this region that need shelter can contact the Red Cross for shelter locations or other assistance at (423) 265-3455.

“Whether the families are left homeless because of fires or flooding, the Red Cross is helping many families throughout the region,” Hitchens said. However, how long they will be able to provide such assistance is unknown, as the chapter is cashstrapped, and has been facing severe budget problems for several years.

Numerous drivers have also been victimized by the flooding. Each year, more deaths occur due to flooding than from any other thunderstormrelated hazard. The main reason: People underestimate the force and power of water. Many of the deaths occur in automobiles as they are swept downstream. Of these drownings, many are preventable, but too many people continue to drive around the barriers that are set up by police to warn about impassable roads.

Whether you are driving or walking, if you come to a flood road, explains Chattanooga Fire Department spokesman Bruce Garner, the simple thing to remember is to turn around and find a safer route. “Motorists continue to drive their vehicles on

Here are several of the interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the September 29 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

5. Ordinances - Final Reading:

the flooded roadways,” says Garner.

“They don’t know how deep it is, and their vehicles stall or their vehicles are actually lifted up and pushed off into a ditch.”

The good news is that the National Weather Service is predicting a break from the rain by the beginning of

next week. Even so, it will take a week or more for the super-saturated ground to dry out and for the various creeks to recede back to normal levels. Garner asks everyone to remain extra vigilant, especially around waterways, for the next week or so until the floodwaters recede.

Chattanooga Welcomes Three More ArtsMove Artists About a week ago, a panel of locally acclaimed artists gathered at CreateHere to assess the latest pool of applicants for the ArtsMove artist relocation program. ArtsMove aims to attract outstanding artists and artisans from around the country to the Chattanooga area by awarding up $2,500 in grants to reimburse moving expenses.

After comprehensive consideration, the jury unanimously elected to offer awards to mixed-media artist Beverly Hayden, ceramics master Linda Falcone and multi-genre musician Evan Lipson. The funding will help support the artists as they pack up their lives and move to the Scenic City.

Hayden, a former lawyer from Paducah, Kentucky, is now an award-winning artist who has shown her work in more than 70 art shows throughout the nation since 2003. Beginning her artistic career as a photographer, she transitioned into mixed media work a couple of years ago.

Falcone, hailing from Wilmington, North Carolina, has resided in many locations across the nation, which has exposed her to varying culture and foreign influence. This eclectic viewpoint, along with her “love of colors and their expressive abilities,” helps her create beautiful pieces such as oneof-a-kind horsehair pottery and richly glazed ceramic dinnerware.

Lipson has been splitting his residence between Philadelphia and New York City. He is a currently a composer/bassist who is “focused on transgressing the politics of genre, in favor of cultivating the rarefied esoteric world(s) of underground music.”

d) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as Area 1B, being certain parcels adjacent to Cummings Highway within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map. e) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as Area 4A, being certain parcels adjacent to the current city limits between Hixson Pike and Middle Valley Road within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map. f) An ordinance adopting a Plan of Services and extending the corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga, Tennessee, to annex certain territory contiguous to the present corporate limits of the City of Chattanooga known as Area 4C, being certain parcels adjacent to the current city limits of Hixson Marina Road, Big Ridge Road, and Fairview Road within the Urban Growth Boundary of the City of Chattanooga, in Hamilton County, Tennessee, as shown by the attached map.

Barring deferments from the first reading on the above ordinances, this will be the first three pieces of unincorporated Hamilton County brought into the city limits of Chattanooga, if the ordinances pass.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agendas, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_ Council/110_Agenda.asp

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Beyond The Headlines

Finding the Facts on Annexation

By Stuart James

Top Selling Cars & Trucks This Year…

So Far 1. Ford F-Series 2. Toyota Camry 3. Chevrolet Silverado 4. Honda Accord 5. Toyota Corolla 6. Honda Civic 7. Nissan Altima 8. Dodge Ram 9. Ford Fusion 10. Honda CR-V Sales of new vehicles are down across the board, and would have been even worse had it not been for the “Cash For Clunkers” program. As it is, last year’s sales leaders are this year’s sales leaders. Only the Ford Fusion is new to the list.

With gas prices down considerably from two years ago, the demand for highly fuelefficient vehicles has dropped, which is good news for American manufacturers and truck sellers, as the Japanese models all tend to have better mileage than their domestic counterparts.

Only four of the top 10 are domestic models, with the Ford Fusion being the only domestic passenger car to make the Automotive News top 10 list; although the Honda CR-V just made the cut by edging out Chevrolet’s Impala.

Source: Automotive News

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nnexation is a forced takeover. When government seeks to annex, it is forcibly taking in residents—those being annexed have no vote.

Annexation is a permanent change. There is no turning back.

The City of Chattanooga is now in the forced takeover process. The city’s first annexation hearing lasted an hour. City officials’ statements and questions from council members, took up 45 minutes of the hearing. The city council allotted 15 minutes for comments from the audience. At the second hearing, the rules changed a little. However, when city officials spoke, the phrases “may require” and “may be built” were prevalent in presentations, with fuzzy specifics.

The meetings took on the appearance of a propaganda effort to convince people that annexation is for the public good. The meetings did not offer a written plan, a written budget or other written information on how essential services would be provided to existing and future residents. There is no written cost-benefit analysis.

the release of specific information on annexation. The court petition is in response to the city’s failure to produce information pursuant to a public records request. The petition seeks basic information; information not published for the citizens of Chattanooga, and those living in the proposed annexed areas.

The petition arose out of a public records request seeking a copy of a plan for police services, a plan for fire services, a plan for solid-waste disposal services, and a plan for income versus expense.

Although this list is not allinclusive, it seems incomprehensible that the city cannot easily produce the requested information. It seems incomprehensible that a court petition needs to be filed to obtain this information.

If the city cannot publish its plan for annexation, how can the city’s residents expect it to provide services for current and future residents? The court petition, and the city’s apparent inability to provide written information, place a cloud of suspicion over annexation.

The city council should demand publication of a well-thought-

“The city council should demand publication of a well-thought-out annexation plan providing information on how much additional revenue the city will earn—and how the city will pay for implementing any annexation plan.”

The first rule in political life is, “It is not a plan unless you have it in writing.” If the mayor and the city want full disclosure, a written plan needed to be available before the first meeting.

The lack of written specifics prompted a court petition seeking

out annexation plan providing information on how much additional revenue the city will earn—and how the city will pay for implementing any annexation plan. The publication must include a comprehensive plan showing how services, such as fire and police, will be provided to existing and annexed areas. As elected representatives, the Council has the fiduciary responsibility to let the sun shine brightly on all aspects of annexation. Anything less is an abdication of their public duties.

The city, thus far, is handling the process poorly. The first step in fixing this image problem is to demand openness. Annexation is a forced takeover requiring full disclosure: anything less demands that we question the motivation of our elected representatives.

It is time to let the sun shine brightly on annexation.

Stuart James is host of The James Report on WPLZ, 95.3 Pulse News.

He has worked on campaigns for United States Senate, US Congress, governor and local offices. He practices law at James, Goins & Carpenter PC.

Upcoming Annexation Hearings Thursday September 24 6 p.m. - 7 p.m.

11A - Adjacent to the current City limits of Morris Hill Road, East Brainerd Road, and Igou Gap Road Tuesday. September 29 7 p.m. - 8 p.m.

10A - Adjacent to Old Lee Highway 10B - Adjacent to Old Lee Highway and Apison Pike

Got a Comment? Wanna be heard? Share you thoughts at chattanoogapulse.com 6

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A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

• Sometimes after a long night of drinking, there’s nothing better than to find a comfortable place to sleep it off. However, it is generally considered a bad idea if your choice of sleeping location is in the middle of the street. Police were called out to Dartmouth Street on a report of a man sleeping in the road. When they arrived, they woke the man, who told them he had been visiting a nearby woman when he got tired.

The woman told officers she had volunteered to keep an eye on him until he sobered up, but apparently lost track of his whereabouts.

• Consuming too much alcohol not only leads to poor sleeping decisions, it also can lead to poor companion decisions. A visitor staying at a popular downtown hotel met two other men and invited them up to his room for some friendly imbibing. However, he told police that he ended up drinking a bit too much and passed out. When

he woke up, the two men were gone—as was his laptop computer. Nothing else was taken from the room, and he was able to give a good description of the two men, but no arrests have yet been made.

• While we’re listing the many ways overconsumption of alcohol can lead to bad things happening, we can’t forget the dangers of being assaulted. An extremely intoxicated man called police and said a female friend had cut him inside a house on Camden Street. When officers arrived, they found the man indeed had a cut in his leg. When questioned, the woman informed the officers that it was her house and that the man had come over, very drunk, and wouldn’t leave. So she took matters into hand—along with a brick, some chairs and a knife—and threw them at him to try and get him away from her. The man was told to leave and no charges were filed in the incident.

Chattanooga Street Scenes

• Self-defense by brick, chair and knife may work sometimes.

Other times, something a bit more shocking is called for. Luckily for a woman at an apartment complex on Mansion Circle, she had just the item needed to turn the tables on a pair of wannabe thieves. The woman told police she had gotten out of her car to go inside when two men started asking her what she was doing, and even though she didn’t respond, they kept approaching her. When one tried to grab her purse from behind, she spun around, pulled out a taser, and fired it into the man, sending him to the ground.

Both men fled immediately and police were unable to locate either of them after a search of the complex.

Photography by Damien Power

The faded glory of the Southside’s Parkway Towers.

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Shrink Rap

Thank A Drag Queen

By Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D www.DrRPH.com

W

hen danger stares you in the face, your stress response, also popularly known as “fight or flight,” kicks in. Your adrenaline rushes, heartbeat increases, sweat glands are activated, and your synapses fire like crazy as you decide, in a split second, whether to flee the scene or stand your ground.

So if you are faced with defending yourself, or say, a friend, against physical harm, and the assaulter is too drunk to be receptive to common sense and verbal dialogue, you’d figure out what’s the best, most necessary action—either fight or flight, right? Or, if faced with hearing a loved one’s reputation unfairly being sullied, you’d probably say something to defend their honor, wouldn’t you?

And when your own set of beliefs of what’s right and wrong, your own moral code of ethics, become threatened, you’d likely find a way to defend what you feel is important to you, correct? Not only is this your right as a person, but is, in a sense, a product of your wiring as a human being.

Let me share a little history with you about this very issue.

On June 22, 1969, Judy Garland died. A whole lotta folks who followed her remarkable career and turbulent personal life grieved hard. Many of them were gay men who, as you might imagine, could relate to the struggle to rise above a life of oppressive, destructive forces and challenges—from addictions to rejections and failed relationships—in order to realize their potential and make the world a better place for their contributions.

About a week later, in the early morning hours of June 28, 1969 at the Stonewall Inn in New York’s Greenwich Village, something unremarkable happened—an event which had occurred numerous times before throughout the decades. The police raided a gay bar.

At first, everything unfolded according to a time-honored ritual.

Plain-clothes detectives as well as uniformed officers entered and announced their presence. The bar staff stopped serving the watered-

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down, overpriced drinks, while their Mafia bosses swiftly removed the cigar boxes that served as tills. The police demanded identification from the customers and escorted them outside, throwing some into a waiting paddy wagon and roughly shoving others off the sidewalk.

But at a certain point, the “usual suspects” departed from the script and decided to fight back. To this day, a debate continues over which specific incident sparked the riot. While many believe that one courageous drag queen defiantly stood in the doorway facing down the officers, others have described that night’s events as an explosion of many incidents happening simultaneously.

As police raided the bar, patrons gathered on the street outside and watched the officers make their arrests. But the crowd, which eventually grew to an estimated 2,000, was fed up. Something about that night—the recent death of an icon, the grief and anger of that loss still resonating with those who had looked to her for inspiration and strength?—ignited years of rage at the way police treated gay people. Chants of “Gay Power!” echoed in the streets.

Soon, beer bottles and trash cans were flying.

Police reinforcements arrived and attempted to beat the crowd away, but the angry protesters fought back.

By 4 a.m., it was over. But the next night the crowd returned, even larger than the night before. For hours, protesters rioted in the street outside the Stonewall Inn and the following day they returned to march on Christopher Street.

These protests are frequently cited as the first time in American history when people in the gay and lesbian community fought back against a government-sponsored system that persecuted sexual minorities. They’ve become the defining event, the defining moment in history, which marked the start of the gay rights movement in the United States and around the world.

Something powerful had begun.

Since then, the word “Stonewall” has entered the vocabulary of lesbian, gay, bi and trans people everywhere as a potent emblem of the gay community making a stand against oppression, and demanding equality in every area of life.

Fast forward to the present. In a

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couple of weeks, Chattanoogans will have the opportunity to celebrate with their gay brothers and sisters the hard-won accomplishments of that time back in 1969 with a weeklong schedule of “Pride” events, culminating in an afternoon of festivities downtown. No longer relegated to a wooded closet on the outskirts of town, the gay community will celebrate with relatives, friends, and families, both straight and gay, coming together with music, fun, laughter, and yes, pride.

There will be, as there were 40 years ago, drag queens. Expect it. There will be leather. Expect it. There will be old people, young people, short, tall, skinny, fat, and people of color. There will be singles, couples, and gay families with kids.

Expect it.

Expect the entire rainbow, because gay “pride” isn’t about arrogance, or virtuousness, or being perfect, or fitting in. It’s about recognizing the importance of history, the accomplishments and setbacks alike, and knowing that through it all, a community has survived. It’s about sharing an ethos of commonality, where if we look hard enough we’ll see that we have more alike than dissimilar, no matter what color boa someone’s wearing, or who constitutes their “family.” It’s about a celebration of strength and unity, and of knowing that, through it all, we all belong here.

Together. Proudly.

Until next time: “Live with intention. Walk to the edge. Choose with no regret. Continue to learn.

Appreciate your friends.

Laugh. Do what you love.

And live as if this is all there is.” — Mary Anne Radmacher Dr. Rick PimentalHabib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.”

“Expect the entire rainbow, because gay ‘pride’ isn’t about arrogance, or virtuousness, or being perfect, or fitting in.”

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Cover Story

Here, There And Everywhere As September slips into October, we begin thinking about annual autumn events—maybe figuring out what we’re going to be for Halloween this year (along with looking forward to being less soggy). But there’s another October event that’s becoming a Chattanooga tradition—Gay Pride Week. From October 5 through 11, festivities take place all over town. Check out our cover story this week for the history of Pride, both nationally and locally. And check in with Dr. Rick’s “Shrink Rap” column for why it should matter to you.

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Cover Story

Inside The Pride Of The City

By Janis Hashe

F

or many lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) people, the word that continues to define their lives is “shame.”

But 40 years ago, a movement began that continues working to change that word to “pride.”

Very early in the morning of June 28, 1969, the patrons of a Greenwich Village bar called the Stonewall Inn decided they were mad as hell and they weren’t going to take it anymore.

After yet another police raid on the bar, which catered primarily to gay and transgender men, and included drag queens and homeless youth in its clientele, the patrons of Stonewall rioted, marking, for most people, the start of the modern gay liberation movement.

The next year, on the anniversary of the Stonewall riots, a group called the Gay Liberation Front organized a march from Greenwich Village

“We began getting more and more feedback that there needed to be a public event, and last year we made the transition to Miller Plaza, where Pride Festival Day will be held on October 11.”

to Central Park in New York, and across the country, on the same day, marchers in both Los Angeles and San Francisco commemorated Stonewall. The day before, supporters of gay rights in Chicago had marched to the city’s Civic Center.

Those first marches have evolved into annual Gay Pride events, taking place in cities throughout the world, and although most happen in June, continuing to honor Stonewall, Chattanooga’s is in October— this year spanning the week of October 5 through 11.

Tennessee Valley Pride President Joseph Smith notes that the current organization is four years old. “A previous Pride organization had fizzled out, but then a group of us decided, ‘We need this,’ and re-activated the organization,” he says. For the first two years, TVP held events in parks, away from the city center. “People still had concerns about being outed, so we created private events,” Smith says. “But we began getting more and more feedback that there needed to be a public event, and last year we made the transition to Miller Plaza [where Pride Festival Day will be held on October 11].”

TVP is promoting Pride Week with ads and billboards this year, hoping to attract a diverse audience. Asked whether the higher-profile stance might generate controversy, Smith says, “I feel

there may be people protesting what we are doing. But we surveyed 20 people at random last year, and some were straight, with families, who had come down to support the event. We are for diversity of any kind.”

Pride member Chuck Hill, in charge of organizing Pride Week events, notes that several

The Bible Tells Him So Having tried for 17 years to, as he puts it, “de-gay” himself, Peterson Toscano has now accepted himself, and through his art, helps others accept themselves as well.

He’s performed his shows The re-education of George W. Bush, Queer 101 - Now I know my gAy B, C’s and Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House all over the world, and his newest piece, Transfigurations, has appealed to people across a broad spectrum.

“It’s about transgender and

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gender-variant Bible characters,” he says, explaining that in rereading the Bible, he discovered numerous stories that might contain those characters. “People walk out of the show saying, ‘I can’t believe I’ve never seen that before,’ he says. And even many of those who do not accept his interpretation, he adds, acknowledge his scholarship and knowledge of the stories.

“This piece gives context to the lives of transgender and gendervariant people, “ he says. “It presents them and their lives in

a way that people who might be too nervous about the subject to hear it as a lecture, for example, can accept.” Even within the gay community, he points out, there are “people who do not ‘get’ transgender people. It’s important for them to understand as well.”

Peterson’s experiences with “reparative therapy” included “doing time” in the Love in Action program in Memphis. He will probably present a section of Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House during the Q&A session following his performance.

The organization he co-founded can be found at beyondexgay.com

Cover Story Chattanooga PRIDE Festival Week Event Guide Monday, October 5 Comedy Night 8:30 p.m. IMAGES Show Bar, 6005 Lee Highway.

Janet Williams, aka The Tennessee Tramp.

Box Office opens at 6:30 p.m. $5. Over 21 only.

Tuesday, October 6 Reading & Booksigning 5-7 p.m. Winder Binder Gallery & Bookstore. 40 Frazier Ave. Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, (The Pulse’s “Shrink Rap” columnist) is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and author of Empowering the Tribe and The Power of a Partner. He will read excerpts from his writings, followed by a book signing and a wine and cheese reception. Free.

things are new this year. “The book signing with Dr. Rick, the Peterson Toscana performance, and the Interfaith Worship Service are all new,” he says. Hill emphasizes the importance of a local Pride event.

“Although things are getting better for LGBT people in our country, locally, we still have major issues,” he says. “For example, I’d like to see the Times Free Press running stories on gay and lesbian issues, and I’d like to see our city officials supporting the event. We have extended invitations to all the council members and to the mayor to attend.

“We’d like people to be aware of the range of entertainment, for example, on Festival Day. Yes, there will be drag shows, but there will also be music and speakers,” Hill says. He adds that vendors are still being added for Pride Festival Day,

and interested vendors should visit www.tennesseevalleypride.com for more information.

Brenda Lunger is a local transgender/LGBT activist living in Cleveland. A member of the Tennessee Valley Pride board, she is also co-founder of Transcenders, Chattanooga’s transgender support group. “A Nashville friend, who knew I was a Christian, alerted me to a podcast of the show Trans-ponder,” she says, featuring gay performance artist Peterson Toscano in scenes from his show Transfigurations. “The message of the piece was so strong, I knew we had to get him to Chattanooga,” she says.

Lunger found a venue for the onenight-only performance on Friday, October 9 (see schedule sidebar), and hopes to see a full, 200-person house for the show.

“I’d like to see our city officials supporting the event. We have extended invitations to all the council members and to the mayor to attend.”

Dinner Night Out 7:30 p.m.

Suggestions include: The Red Lantern Cafe, 1301 Chestnut St. Magoo’s Restaurant, 658 Ringgold Rd, East Ridge.

The Big Chill & Grill, 427 Market St. Wednesday, October 7 Interfaith Worship Service 8 p.m. Christ Church (Episcopal) 663 Douglas St. at McCallie Ave. “Made in God’s Image: A Celebration of Divinity and Diversity”. Ecumenical Worship Service provided with input from more than nine affirming congregations in the Chattanooga area. Childcare will be provided and refreshments will be served following the service. Offerings will be accepted to cover expenses, and surplus collections will be donated to the St. Elmo United Methodist Church. Parking lot is off Douglas at rear of church.

Thursday, October 8 Karaoke Semifinals 9 p.m. IMAGES Show Bar, 6005 Lee Highway.

Contestants qualify from regional rounds of competition at The Red Lantern and at Images Showbar.

Six contestants will move on to the finals, Sunday, October 11, at Miller Plaza Stage.

Friday, October 9 Theater Night 7 p.m. Unitarian Universalist Church Fellowship Center, 3224 Navajo Dr. Transfigurations, written and performed by Peterson Toscano.

In this one-person play, Peterson Toscano unearths gender-variant Bible characters, those people who do not fit in the gender binary, and who in transgressing and transcending gender, find themselves at the center of some of the Bible’s most important stories. Peterson will also share excerpts from his other plays, including The re-education of George W. Bush, Queer 101 - Now I know my gAy B, C’s and Doin’ Time in the Homo No Mo Halfway House. $20, $15 with student ID. Coming Out Party 10 p.m. to close. IMAGES Show Bar, 6005 Lee Highway.

Saturday, October 10 Bowling 2 p.m. Holiday Bowl, 5518 Brainerd Road.

Bowling with friends and family.

Three games of competition for all levels of bowlers, with prizes. $20 adults, $10 children.

Bar Night 9 p.m. to close.

Special night out with LGBTfriendly clubs offering great entertainment and discount offers to patrons celebrating Pride Week.

Coming out Party 10 p.m. to close. IMAGES Show Bar, 6005 Lee Highway.

Sunday, October 11 PRIDE FESTIVAL DAY 1-5 p.m. Miller Stage & Plaza.

MLK Boulevard @ Georgia Ave. Live entertainment, food and vendors. Free Rapid HIV Testing by Chattanooga Cares. Free.

After Party 5 p.m. to close. Chuck’s II Bar. 27 W. Main St. Candlelight Vigil Assembling at Chuck’s II Bar at dusk.

In memory of Matthew Shepherd and other victims of hate crimes.

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Life In The Noog

Mother Nature On The Run

By Chuck Crowder

I

grew up in the ‘noog.

During most of my childhood, my family lived on Manchester Drive in Manchester Park—the poor man’s Stuart Heights. My dad worked for TVA and my mom stayed home with us kids.

In the early ’70s when I was starting school, Northgate Mall had just been built. Until then, there wasn’t much need to go out that way because it was all corn fields and cow pastures. My neighborhood was about a quarter a mile away from Highland Plaza, which was about as far north as anyone ever ventured.

My brother and I spent our days playing war in the woods, listening to the top rock station at the time, WFLI, watching “Shock Theater” with Dr. Shock and his sidekick Dingbat on TV-9 and cluelessly eating sandwiches served with a side of peace and love at one of the original Yellow Delis (where the Pickle Barrel is now).

Lately I’ve been fascinated with the period between 1970 and 1975, which may be why I’m writing about this. The post-Woodstock days brought Blaxploitation films, more TV game shows, double-knit polyester bell bottoms, peace signs and smiley faces, and albums like “Exile on Main Street,” “Layla” and “All Things Must Pass.” In fact, the early seventies might likely be one of the most prolific periods of pop culture history—especially in music and film. But I digress.

Anyway, my dad worked downtown, which was a world we never had any reason to visit other than an occasional lunch with him or a doctor’s visit to some specialist.

Besides, it was disgusting.

At the time Chattanooga didn’t have any problems attracting companies looking for a place to build a manufacturing plant (like Volkswagen) because we offered all kinds of cheap land and labor, tax incentives, rail and river access

and an endless supply of energy.

But because our geographic makeup consists of a city surrounded by mountains there was nowhere for the smokestack soot to go but inward.

I remember many times as a kid riding through downtown when the haze was so bad my parents would have the turn on the headlights—in the middle of the day. You’d see people walking down the street covering their mouths and noses with handkerchiefs. In fact, things were so bad that in 1969 federal authorities deemed Chattanooga’s air quality the worst in the nation.

Then things got worse.

By the mid-seventies, overseas competition forced some of our plants to move or close which left a lot of unemployed people in a dirty city full of empty behemoths sitting on contaminated land. The ‘noog was dying off.

That’s when the very first phase of our urban renaissance kicked off.

At the time we didn’t expect people to pick up and move downtown from the suburbs. That kind of talk was ridiculous. Only bums and crazy people actually LIVED downtown. But we could make the city a place people might want to visit.

There were already barns on every two-lane in the South painted up with See Rock City and Ruby Falls. But we needed people to come further into town. In 1973, some businessmen resurrected the boarded-up Terminal Station made famous in Glenn Miller’s song “Chattanooga Choo-Choo” as a combination tourist attraction and hotel. And in 1976, the city opened Miller Park.

You could still shoot a gun down Market or Broad in the eighties and not hit a soul, but things were starting to happen. When the Walnut Street Bridge was closed to auto traffic in 1978, we turned it into a walking bridge instead of tearing it down (thank goodness for Indian burial grounds). And in 1992 the renaissance really started heating up with the opening of the Tennessee Aquarium.

“I remember many times as a kid riding through downtown when the haze was so bad my parents would have the turn on the headlights—in the middle of the day.”

Now we’ve got folks willing to pay top dollar to live behind Jax Liquors, problems with finding a meter space on any given day and the return of the Yellow Deli.

We’ve got an open air market in one abandoned warehouse and a shopping mall in another. And we’ve got cities everywhere visiting us to see what we’ve done and how we’ve done it.

Fact is, Chattanooga has done a complete about-face since the seventies. And now that nearly 25,000 locals have voiced their ideas for change through the world’s largest community survey project— STAND—we’ll likely see even more than I ever imagined when I was a kid. And just like the faded glory of a worn out pair of Tough Skin jeans, it’s a good thing.

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his wildly popular website www.thenoog.com

95.3 Pulse News www.chattanoogapulse.com 9.24.09 The Pulse

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On The Beat

Parking Fines Now—A True Parody

By Alex Teach

N

ot all of my dreams are of dining with glossy blackeyed corpses or porcelain babies bleeding out as they cry, you know.

Sometimes they are in the form of cartoons; others, however are their own parodies, and like all my columns, based on real life events.

(Fade In) OFFICER (voiceover): Hixson, shit. I’m still only in Hixson. Every time I think I’m going to wake up back in East Lake. When I was home after my first tour, it was worse. I’d wake up and there’d be nothing... I hardly said a word to my wife until I said yes to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there. When I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle. I’ve been here a week now. Waiting for a mission, getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room I get weaker. And every minute the Crips squat in the projects they get stronger. Each time I look around the walls move in a little tighter.

I was going to the worst place in the world, and I didn’t even know it yet. Hours away and hundreds of meters up a creek that snaked through the war like a main circuit cable and plugged straight into Brazzell. It was no accident that I got to be the caretaker of Anna Brazzell’s memory; any more than being back in Hixson was an accident.

CHIEF: Officer, you heard of Ms. Anna Brazzell?

OFFICER: No, sir. Not personally.

CHIEF: You have worked a lot on your own, haven’t you?

OFFICER: Yes, sir. I have.

CHIEF: Your report specifies patrol, intelligence, counterintelligence, with Fox Team.

OFFICER: I’m not presently disposed to discuss these operations, sir.

CHIEF: Did you not work for the CIA in Alton Park?

OFFICER: No, sir.

CHIEF: I thought we’d have a bite of lunch while we talk. I hope you brought a good appetite with you. You have a bad forehead wound there, are you wounded?

OFFICER: A little fishing accident

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on R&R, sir.

CHIEF: Fishing on R&R... But you’re feeling fit, ready for duty?

OFFICER: Yes, Chief. Very much so, sir.

CHIEF: Todd, would you play that tape for the officer, please. Listen carefully.

(On tape): October 9th, 0430 hours, sector Union 2.

CHIEF: This was monitored out of Red Bank. This has been verified as Ms. Brazzell’s voice.

ANNA BRAZZELL (on tape): I watched a nickel crawl along the edge of a parking meter. That’s my dream.

That’s my nightmare. Crawling, slithering, along the edge of a parking meter, and paying it.

(On tape): 11th transmission, December 30th, 0500 hours, sector Union 1.

BRAZZELL (on tape): We must kill them. We must incinerate them.

Ticket after ticket, meter after meter, parking space after parking space, Police Service Tech after Police Service Tech. And they call me a double parker. What do you call it when the double parkers accuse the double parkers? They lie. They lie and we have to be merciful for those who lie.

Those city ordinances. I hate them.

How I hate them...

CHIEF: Anna Brazzell was one of the most outstanding waitresses this city has ever produced. She was a brilliant and outstanding in every way and she was a good woman, too. Humanitarian woman, woman of wit, of humor. She joined the Big River Grille. After that her ideas, her parking methods have become unsound...unsound.

Now she’s crossed into Red Bank with her Wait Staff army, who worships the woman like a goddess and follows every order however ridiculous. You see, officer, in this war, things get confused out there, power, ideals, the old morality, and practical parking necessity.

Out there with these natives it must be a temptation to be god.

Because there’s a conflict in every human heart between the rational and the irrational, between feeding the meter and ignoring it, between good and evil. The good does not always triumph. Sometimes the dark side overcomes what Lincoln called ‘the better angels of our nature’, and we park wherever and however we want to, without due payment or regard for

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others.

Every woman has got a breaking point. You and I have. Anna Brazzell has reached hers. And very obviously, she has gone insane.

OFFICER: Yes sir, very much so sir. Obviously insane.

CHIEF: Your mission is to proceed up the Mountain Creek in a Chattanooga Ducks boat. Pick up Brazzell’s path at the old Orange Hut, follow it, learn what you can along the way. When you find her. infiltrate her team by whatever means available and terminate Brazzell’s parking command.

OFFICER: Terminate? Brazzell’s car?

CHIEF: She’s out there parking without any decent restraint. Totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct, and she owes us nearly thirty grand in back fines for Chrissakes and we can’t get the first nickel out of her. She’s making us look like horses’ asses, and she is still in the office commanding her troops.

MAYOR’S COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR: Terminate with extreme prejudice.

CHIEF: You understand, officer... that this operation does not exist, nor will it ever exist.

(Alone, in the cruiser): OFFICER (voiceover): How many people had I already collected fines from? There was that one I know about for sure. Close enough to throw their last check in my face. But this time it was a local and a woman.

That wasn’t supposed to make any difference to me, but it did. Hell... charging a woman with improper parking in this place was like handing out speeding tickets in the Indy 500.

I took the mission. What the hell else was I gonna do? But I didn’t know what I’d do when I found her.

(Fade Out) (Francis Ford Coppola would recognize this entirely as parody, and so should you. As for the names cited…purely coincidental. No real person could be this obnoxious, after all.)

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he is an occasional student at UTC, an up and coming carpenter, auto mechanic, prominent boating enthusiast, and spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

“Out there with these natives it must be a temptation to be god.

Because there’s a conflict in every human heart between the rational and the irrational, between feeding the meter and ignoring it, between good and evil.”

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Arts & Entertainment

The Ultimate Fan Calendar

By Michael Crumb

T

he 2010 Fandom Girls Calendar has returned to Chattanooga after its Labor Day outing at Dragon*Con in Atlanta. The Fandom girls will be offering their own tasty baked goods and will be on hand to sign their calendar pages at Dicehead Games and Comics on September 26. Dicehead will be hosting a “Streetfighter IV” tournament on PS3.

Maria Price works as a project manager for the Fandom Girls Collective. Besides Maria as “Wonder Woman,” the 2010 Fandom Calendar Girls include Maria Vixen (Miss Fandom), Constance Jessica Nicole, Mel, Corrine, Ch4otic Neutr4l, Kel, Bambi, Lynn, Leslie, Alice and Gizmo.

Distinct Images Photography, one of the calendar’s sponsors, has produced the calendar photos, which are charming and very well composed.

Each girl has a role in this calendar’s production, aside from their “cosplay” roles, in creating the calendar pages. All are local Chattanooga girls.

To create “cosplay” characters, people employ different strategies, much like Halloween; some will work to develop the exact detail of

a particular character, while others derive with style a particular genre look. Maria Price cannot recall when she didn’t like to dress up, and her version of Wonder Woman wondrously leaps into life from the pages of the classic comic.

Cosplay presents a form of performance art that anyone can do. The enactment of a cosplay persona builds confidence and camaraderie in the case of our fandom girls; the whole effect becomes enhanced by their cooperation with each other.

On a larger scale, conventions and events, like the upcoming tournament at Dicehead, build exuberance and community among the participants.

This cosplay participatory culture has something in common with people’s increasing interest in tattoos.

Recently, at the Third Annual Tattoo Convention here, Jessica

“Maria Price cannot recall when she didn’t like to dress up, and her version of Wonder Woman wondrously leaps into life from the pages of the classic comic.”

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Brown, who has her upper arms inked with “Dream” and “Delerium” (two of the “Endless” from Neil Gaiman’s “Sandman” comics), shows how characters can be a part of our personal personas. One of the calendar girls, Gizmo, uses ordinary ink to create various forehead designs that look like tattoos, while contributing to the evolution of her own persona.

The proceeds from calendar sales will go to the Mary Ellen Locher Foundation, a scholarship fund for secondary education for children who have lost a parent to breast cancer or who are children of breast cancer survivors.

Maria Price emphasizes that so many people are affected by breast

cancer, directly or indirectly. To me, this type of performance art, which brings images to life, seems partiucalrly appropriate in this context. So get your calendars, and enjoy the baked goods and company at the gaming event.

Fandom Girls Calendars are available at their web site, www. fandomgirls.com. But how much better to get them at the their personal appearances, and, of course, at the upcoming ConNooga.

Fandom Girls 2010 Calendar Signing and Bake Sale 2 – 6 p.m.

Saturday, September 26 Dicehead Games and Comics 6231 Perimeter Drive (423) 553-1960

A&E Calendar Friday

Thursday

Chief Braveheart AEC’s Back Row Film Series presents a film about Chief John Ross. $10.

5:30 p.m. music; 6 p.m. screening Tennessee Aquarium, 1 Broad Street. (423) 267-1218. www.artsedcouncil.org

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

AEC Independent Film Series: In the Loop 1 p.m., 3:15 p.m., 5:30 p.m., 7:45 p.m. & 10 p.m. Bijou Theatre, 215 Broad St. (423) 265-5320.

“Writing Our Family Stories” 7 p.m. St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Aven. CWG@ chattanoogawritersguild.org Mystery of the TV Talk Show 7 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839. www.funnydinner.com CSO Masterworks: Beethoven Violin Concerto 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street. (423) 267-8583. www.chattanoogasymphony.org Pat Dixon 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

CSO Masterworks Series: Beethoven Violin Concerto Guest artist is Canadian star Alexandre da Costa. $19-$79.

8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street.

(423) 267-8583. www.chattanoogasymphony.org

Saturday

Disney’s Beauty and the Beast The family favorite returns to the CTC. $10 - $25 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Monday

Reception, “Persona + Anima” 6 p.m. Create Here, 55 East Main St. Ste. 105 (423) 648-2195.

UTC Chamber Singers 7:30 p.m. UTC, Roland Hayes Concert Hall, Vine & Palmetto Streets. (423) 425-4601.

Dearly Departed 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade, 264 Catoosa Cir. (706) 935-9000. www.colonnadecenter.org Hamlet 7:30 p.m. St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.

An Americat in Paris 7:30 p.m. Oak St. Playhouse, 419 McCallie Ave., (423) 2654282, ext. 104. www.oakstreetplayhouse.com The Miser 7:30 p.m. UTC, Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre, Vine & Palmetto Streets. (423) 425-4269.

Pat Dixon 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com Boston Brass 8 p.m. Covenant College, 14049 Scenic Highway, Lookout Mountain, GA. (706) 419-1453. www.covenant.edu/covenantarts Gala opening: Beauty and the Beast 8 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, Main Stage, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com “Sign of the Times” Jewish Cultural Center, 5461 North Terrace. (423) 493-0270. www.jcfg.com “Maggie!”

Shuptrine Fine Art and Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

Sunday skyhoundz World Canine Disc Championship 9:30 a.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. www.skyhoundz.com Mosaic Market 11 a.m. 412 Market St. (corner of 4th/Market) (423) 624-3915.

One Bridge Art Festival Noon. Winder Binder Gallery, 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999.

An Americat in Paris 2 p.m. Oak St. Playhouse, 419 McCallie Ave. (423) 756-2428.

Hamlet 3 p.m. St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.

The Mystery at the Nightmare High School Reunion 6 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

Dearly Departed 7:30 p.m. The Colonnade, 264 Catoosa Cir. (706) 935-9000.

Pat Dixon 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

The Miser 7:30 p.m. UTC, Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre, Vine & Palmetto Streets. (423) 425-4269.

The Mystery of the Red NeckItalian Wedding 8:30 p.m. Vaudeville Café, 138 Market St. (423) 517-1839.

“Magnificent Fifty” North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924.

“Fresh: Emerging Artists” Association for Visual Arts, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282. www.avarts.org UTC Department of Art Biennial Faculty Exhibit Cress Gallery, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 425-4371.

Tuesday

Wednesday

AEC Independent Film Series: In the Loop 1 p.m., 3:15 p.m., 5:30 p.m., 7:45 p.m. & 10 p.m. Bijou Theatre, 215 Broad St. (423) 265-5320.

AEC Independent Film Series: In the Loop 1 p.m., 3:15 p.m., 5:30 p.m., 7:45 p.m. & 10 p.m. Bijou Theatre, 215 Broad St. (423) 265-5320

Art Speak AEC Independent Film Series: In the Loop 1 p.m., 3:15 p.m., 5:30 p.m., 7:45 p.m. & 10 p.m. Bijou Theatre, 215 Broad St. (423) 265-5320.

“Interior, Exterior: Sweeping Environmental Experience Explored Inside Out” Artful Eye Gallery, 5646 Brainerd Rd. (423) 855-7424. www.artfuleye-gallery.com

Films from the Forties: Brief Encounter 6:30 p.m. Flicks Café, Downtown Library, 1001 Broad St. (423)757-5310.

Lecture on R. H. Hunt 7 p.m. AVA, 30 Frazier Avenue.

(423) 265-4282, ext. 104. www.avarts.org

“Rediscovering the Elements” The Gallery, 3918 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 870-2443. www.redbankgallery.com

UTC Orchestra 7:30 p.m. UTC, Roland Hayes Concert Hall, Vine & Palmetto Streets. (423) 425-4601. www.utc.edu/music

35th Annivesary Month Exhibit In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423)267-9214. www.intowngallery.com

“Breaking the Mold” River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com

The Miser 7:30 p.m. UTC, Dorothy Hackett Ward Theatre, Vine & Palmetto Streets. (423) 425-4269.

“Exploding Girls, Alligator Mouth” New Mixed Media Works by Emily Effler Leo Handmade Gallery, 149 River Street. www.leogallery.blogspot.com

La Boheme Robert Dornhelm’s filmed version of the Puccini classic. $20 1 p.m.

The Rave, 5080 N. Terrace Road.

(423) 855-9652.

skyhoundz World Canine Disc Championship 9:30 a.m. AT&T Field, 201 Power Alley. www.skyhoundz.com One Bridge Art Festival Noon. Winder Binder Gallery, 40 Frazier Ave. (423) 413-8999.

An Americat in Paris 2 p.m. Oak St. Playhouse, 419 McCallie Ave. (423) 265-4282.

Hamlet 3 p.m. St. Andrews Center, 1918 Union Ave. (423) 987-5141.

UTC Music Dept. Presents Angelo Manzo, Tuba 7:30 p.m. UTC, Cadek Rehearsal Hall, (423) 425-4602.

Funny People Search 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd., (423) 629-2233.

“Breaking the Mold” River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033.

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Culture Fest: Flavors of the World For the first time, the annual Culture Fest is partnering with the Chattanooga Market and moving to a Sunday date at the Pavilion. World cuisine will be featured, along with the ever-alluring music, arts events and general good vibe of the fest.

Free. 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Sunday, September 27.

First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter Street.

(423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

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Shades Of Green

Keeping Growth Off Of Old Baldy

By Victoria Hurst

A

s our mountain landscape becomes dotted with signs of growing population and development, our remaining natural heirlooms become more precious. Organizations such as the Trust for Public Land (TPL), which operates in all 50 states, are spreading knowledge and resources to keep land from being developed. Conservation easements ensure for farmers, historians, and naturalists that the places they love the most will be preserved. It is comforting to know the places that have been so important to local history will be waiting so the story of the land can be passed along to future generations.

Stringer’s Ridge forms part of the Chattanooga landscape. The four hilltops rising over Hill City in North Chattanooga are visible from downtown, North Market Street, the riverfront, as well as Cherokee Boulevard. The Ridge site has kept its historical integrity and looks much as it did when Captain William Stringer bought it for a penny an acre in the mid-1800’s.

The paths traveled by Union soldiers advancing on the city still remain.

The Stringer Ridge Tunnel, finished in 1911 after toil against red clay and rotten limestone, still stands as a pathway through the valley.

The Stringer Ridge property is a 92-acre site of undeveloped land. The Trust for Public Land acquired 37 acres in 2008. TPL hopes to put the remaining 55 in a conservation easement and have the area serve as a public park.

However, the total cost for the project, to put conservation in a financial perspective, amounts to $2.5 million. Two local foundations pledged $900,000, and the city allotted $150,000 for 2008 and an additional $350,000 for 2009.

This still leaves the plan without

the amount of funding it will need. Public support is one of the brightest hopes for this cause.

The Terminal Brewhouse, a local Chattanooga brewery, is home to fans of Stringer’s Ridge. The brewery has crafted a beer called “Old Baldy ESB” in honor of the smallest knob of the four hills on the Ridge. The Brewhouse is known for its green conscience: They take pride in their low-energy hand-dryers, waterless urinals, dual-flush toilets, rain cistern, reclaimed wood floors and tabletops, organic wine and liquor menu, and involvement in a grain exchange program with local farmers. Another distinctive feature of the brewery is its walkable green roof, the only one in Chattanooga.

To do their part for the preservation of the beloved local landmark, the folks at Terminal Brewhouse are donating 20 percent of September sales of “Old Baldy ESB” to the Stringer’s Ridge campaign. The beer is described on the Brewhouse web site as “designed to refresh and stimulate both your taste buds and your desire to preserve the beauty and natural uses of Stringer’s Ridge,” which is credited as “one of the most beautiful and approachable ridgelines in our fair city.”

Rick Wood is director of Chattanooga’s TPL office. He encourages people to provide support in the form of donations to TPL. In addition to acquiring all 92 acres of the land and putting it in a conservation easement, TPL, in partnership

with the City, plans to have a public planning process to decide the future of Stringer’s Ridge. TPL is still striving to raise the funds to ensure that this piece of mountain forest will not be converted into a new condominium complex, but remain a center of learning and outdoor recreation. However, if the Trust can’t raise enough money, 10 acres of the land may have to be sold in order to finance the property.

Other organizations are doing their part for Stringer’s Ridge.

The Chattanooga chapter of the Southern Off-Road Bicycle Association (SORBA), as well as the Rock/Creek Chronicle, has agreed to match donations for the Ridge up to $5,000. A community clean up took place on August 29, with another one scheduled later in the fall. In the meantime, make a donation to the Trust for Public Land, or, at the very least, head down to the Terminal Brewhouse for an “Old Baldy.” Who can argue with that?

Victoria Hurst is a proud resident of the Appalachian Mountains. She has recently graduated from Warren Wilson College with a B.A. in English: Creative Writing.

“In addition to acquiring all 92 acres of the land and putting it in a conservation easement, TPL, in partnership with the City, plans to have a public planning process to decide the future of Stringer’s Ridge.”

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New in Theaters Fame There’s a common refrain among fans of mainstream movie making, that being that Hollywood long ago ran out of original ideas. Which goes a long way to explain why so many films end up being remade, rebooted or simply reinvented.

Sometimes, though, the state of popular culture makes another take on a popular film an obvious choice. Such is the face with Fame, based on the 1980 film about a group of talented teens in a performing arts high school. The popularity of television programs such as American Idol and So You Think You Can Dance, combined with an increasingly affluent and free-spending youth market, means making another movie about talented singing and dancing teens is the closest thing to a sure thing one can find in Hollywood. The surprising thing about the new movie is how well it matches the spirit of the original film, while updating it into a world of Facebook and media-savvy teens unheard of three decades ago.

Plus, the producers made a shrewd decision in casting some established adult talent to balance out the fresh new faces, which will help to draw

parents into the theater as well. And while Hollywood may indeed at times be completely out of new ideas, at least some of the old ones still work well.

Starring: Kelsey Grammer, Megan Mullally, Bebe Neuwirth, Charles S. Dutton, Debbie Allen Directors: Kevin Tancharoen Rating: PG

Also in Theaters Pandorum (New) Two men wake up on a spacecraft with no memory of who they are or where they’re going, and must uncover the ship’s deadly secrets.

Surrogates (New) Bruce Willis must investigate a murder in a futuristic society where human interaction has been replaced by idealized robotic surrogates.

Coco Before Chanel (New) Audrey Tautou stars as legendary couturier Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel, whose iconic imprint on fashion defined the modern woman.

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs Based on popular children’s book, a scientist tries to solve world hunger, only to see things go completely awry as food falls from the sky in abundance.

Love Happens Jennifer Aniston and

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Aaron Eckhart star in the story of a self-help author who meets the woman who might finally help him help himself.

Jennifer’s Body Megan Fox stars as a high school cheerleader who becomes possessed and begins killing the unsuspecting boys of her small town.

The Informant!

Matt Damon stars in the true story of Mark Whitacre, the highestranking corporate whistleblower in U.S. history.

The Burning Plain Charlize Theron’s encounter with a mysterious stranger launches her on a journey through space, time and romantic destiny.

Bright Star Director Jane Campion’s true story of the threeyear romance between 19th-century poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne.

Tyler Perry’s I Can Do

Bad All By Myself Three delinquent siblings end up in the care of their only relative: April, a heavy-drinking nightclub singer who wants nothing to do with them.

Sorority Row When a prank-gonewrong leaves one of their own dead, a group of sorority sisters try to cover it up, only to be stalked by a mysterious killer.

9 Courageous “stitchpunk” heroes fight for survival against the machines in a post-apocalyptic animated adventure.

The Final Destination A group of friends escape a deadly accident thinking they’ve cheated death, only to get killed off one by one in increasingly gruesome ways.

Inglourious Basterds Brad Pitt stars in Quentin Tarantino’s violent WWII tale of soldiers, peasants and resistance fighters.

Film Feature

You Need To Be In The Loop

by Phillip Johnston

W

e Americans are pretty good at satire—one need only look at the plays of Neil Simon, the essays of David Sedaris, and the whole canon of James Thurber to realize it—but we can’t quite claim the concept as our own.

No, that honor would have to go to the Brits with their ever-reliable Monty Python, the scathing writings of Charles Dickens, the very concept of the Punch and Judy show, and now, Armando Iannucci’s new film In The Loop (produced by the BBC) which has been called “the funniest big-screen satire in recent memory”

by A.O. Scott of The New York Times.

In The Loop makes its way to Chattanooga this week via the Arts and Education Council’s Independent Film Series, and takes every opportunity to poke fun at political leaders during the Iraq war crisis with biting one-liners and verbal gags penned by two BBC comedy vets.

In the world of In The Loop, the president of the United States and the prime minister of the UK are itching to start a war. To their dismay, not everyone thinks that such a war would be in

“According to In The Loop, the cost of a war can be added up on something as simple as a kid’s toy calculator in the hands of a verbally abusive, dry-witted general.”

the best interest of both countries. Two of these men are American General George Miller (James Gandolfini, The Sopranos) and British Secretary of State for International Development Simon Foster (Tom Hollander, Pirates of the Caribbean).

Miller is quite stalwart in his position, but a verbal blunder on primetime TV leads the world to think that Secretary Foster is as anxious to take up arms as is his prime minister.

This sends the prime minister’s communications director (Peter Capaldi) into a frenzy as he sends his team over to the United States to delegate—a place where apparently (according to In The Loop) the cost of a war can be added up on something as simple as a kid’s toy calculator in the hands of a verbally abusive, dry-witted general.

In skimming critical reactions to In The Loop, you’ll surely come across many comments about the film’s use of strong language, including the stinging line from The Hollywood Reporter, “The obscenities are awe-inspiring.”

Critics haven’t been talking like this since Joel and Ethan Coen unleashed The Big Lebowski in 1998, but is this reaction any big surprise?

One can expect it as the natural result of acerbic British wit crashing against the bone-dry humor that is the hallmark of American satirical tradition. They are destined to be opinionated, loud-mouthed bedfellows, and with such talented players as Steve Coogan (Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story, Tropic Thunder), Peter Capaldi, and James Gandolfini, the comedic timing is promised to be perfect.

A rip-roaring comedy slice of Brit wit is the perfect selection to play middle man between

last week’s bracing doc The Horse Boy and next week’s charming rom-com Adam. Even if you hate politics, In the Loop will surely give you something to laugh about. But watch out: The thing about satire is that you may be unknowingly laughing at yourself.

In The Loop Directed by Armando Iannucci Starring James Gandolfini, Tom Hollander Rated R Running time: 106 minutes

vs. Wofford, Sat. Sep 26 @ 6 p.m.

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The Mystical Dude's Horoscopes Virgo (August 23 – September 22): A deep and sticky subject motivates you to recognize better and fairer use of personal resources. Now what’s on your mind is that relationship or individuality issue you’ve been going back over again and again (what, me a worrier?) for a long time now. Of course if your other half was a bit more reliable, then you could make a sensible decision, but they’ve got you swinging back and forth, challenging you to radicalize. What’s best is a mature approach; stay peaceable and charming, helpful, cooperative and attentive to detail.

Libra (September 23 – October 22): You’re known for your diplomatic approach, which came in useful when navigating out of a dodgy patch from the past that reared up recently. There’s a backlog on your plate that needs to be reassessed before moving on. Getting serious and letting go of old ways allows you to be more intuitive about daily tasks, which in turn will be useful in your all-new life makeover that’s about to happen. An old friend you love wants to keep in on your rapidly changing act.

It’s good to help and cooperate.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): In a compulsive move to take the initiative, you’ve let slip certain strategies best kept secret, illuminating a part of you that’s usually in the background. Your thoughts are well entangled by friends’ recent surprising actions, which in turn has you getting enthusiastic about making a break for freedom. But don’t go making any decisions yet. The righteous thing to do now is to charmingly counsel those associates or group members who have found themselves in a cold and distant place, and show your depth and intensity as a healer.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): Friends are lighting the way forward when it comes to long-term plans, including deep-seated issues about finances that were raised somewhat scarily recently. The ability to get around and communicate clearly in your profession and business has bought up many thoughts and issues, which see you confused about which direction to take, especially when home life looks like it could be more exciting. Don’t make a decision for another week yet. Meanwhile your wonderful charm and ability to help others in authority could have some remarkable results soon.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): If someone passed you the torch recently and you were a bit rough holding it correctly, don’t worry, as there’ll be plenty more chances to show your power and strength later. Widening your horizons has been causing some confusion recently as you’ve been swinging between a radical change of mind and the “same old same old,” which does you good but has become just too dang familiar. Avoid making a public announcement or decision just yet, and make the most of laying on the charm in a roundabout sort of way.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Shared ideas and concepts that were floated around joint funds hit a quagmire or restriction that slowed proceedings down as you reassess and re-evaluate the situation in a precise way. You’ve learnt much about business and personal values, and it’s pulling you apart, as you’d like your unique contribution to bring in an income, yet the other person involved is triggering previously hidden matters that need to be transformed into something more useful. No decisions quite yet—but will you let go, be less stubborn so things can move on?

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Recently you agreed to set in stone new rules and regulations, but it’s just well you didn’t sign a contract yet (or did you?), because you’re

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having to think again and go back over the finer details that were previously overlooked. Your independent and original slant on things should see you able to flexibly wiggle out of anything, as you learn about diplomacy the hard way.

Stay cooperative and helpful until the solution is found and let it show how you’re fascinated about certain qualities you admire in the other partner.

Aries (March 21 - April 19): Balance relationship with a significant other.

If they don’t understand your ambitious ultimatums, it’s time to peace out. Once that’s done, focus on your use of time and schedule to be most effective. Reviewing and making the best of each hour without stressing or overexerting teaches you a lot, and will help you get on with employees or co-workers much better. The more you think about it, the clearer you’ll see that ongoing pull in two directions creating turmoil unless you break with an old tradition and let in new methods.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Even though the tasks you’ve been given seem daunting and you’ve got to create a fair system of working, thoughts are centered on creative hobbies and/or your children. You’ve had time to revise your self-expression and change longterm plans to suit yourself better, allowing for new ways of doing things and having fewer constraints— although there always those who will still complain! The insights that are coming now prove that by careful discrimination and analysis a good time and enthusiasm can be had whatever the situation you’re in.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): You love to get recognized for fun and games, even though you know deep down that’s got to change into something more effective now.

The real focus and thought energy has been centered domestically, and there is an important decision that you’ve been mulling over that in the long run will affect your foundation and environment, as opposed to scintillating public reputation. Keep these private thoughts to yourself even though you’re openly sociable and happy to share and cooperate with friends, social contacts and loved ones around home and hearth.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Harmonizing and keeping the peace behind closed doors is all important even though you’ve noticed strong differences between you and a significant other developing. The real focus is to sort out delayed and confused recent communications you’ve had with people close to you, including brothers and sisters. You’ve been under pressure to organize just about everything else except your own life, so it’s OK if you need to let off some steam. Try reading a romantic novel or article about love relationships to help change mood and ability to cooperate.

Leo (July 23 – August 22): Speaking or writing with a modicum of dramatic and creative flair will help, although you’re undergoing deep changes in how you apply to work skills and routines. You’ve been having serious thoughts about earning money and developing securities; reconsidering other options sees you worried about long-term goals.

However, you need to keep a smiling face and cooperate with others over financial or valuebased issues. Go with new changes when pulled in two directions, even unpredictable ones, because you can’t stick with old methods and traditions anymore without losing out.

Julian Venables is a British astrologer whose worldwide travels bought him to Chattanooga.

Email themysticaldude@gmail.com for a personal consultation. Visit www.mysticaldude.com to discover more about the local astrology group, classes and the free podcast on iTunes!

JONESIN’

By Matt Jones

“Tune In, Drop Out” –who needs hgh school?

Across 1 Novelist Waugh 5 Oozing 10 Annapolis sch.

14 First two notes of a descending scale 15 ___ Dame 16 16-bit console of the 1990s, for short 17 “Thriller” director who dropped out of high school 19 Fox show that takes place in various cities 20 Org. with a “Trick-orTreat” donation box 21 Volleyball need 23 Hwy., for one 24 [it was wrong before I quoted it] 25 Rapper/actor who dropped out of high school 29 Field combatants?

31 Suffix after New Jersey or Israel 32 Cease to exist 33 Digital camera variety, for short 34 Company that developed FORTRAN 35 English, across the border 36 TV chef and author who dropped out of high school 39 Oscar winner Tomei 42 Over 7 on the pH scale: abbr.

43 Fond du ___, Wisconsin 46 Journalist ___ Rogers St. Johns 47 Org. that holds the

Masters 48 “The Tortoise and the Hare” writer 50 Daredevil who dropped out of high school 53 Household stain remover sold on TV 54 Took the plunge 55 Company that introduced AIM 56 “Buon ___” (“Merry Christmas,” in Italy) 58 Buffalo’s county 60 Animator who dropped out of high school to join the army (but was rejected) 63 Ultrafast jets 64 Console that came with paddles and joysticks 65 End of an Ali strategy 66 Pop quiz, e.g.

67 Gulf of Aden country 68 Tear violently Down 1 Get used (to) 2 Nut cases 3 Part of PETA 4 Abbr. that denotes “U.S. president” 5 Chaotic 6 One billion years 7 Airport terminal abbr.

8 Paisley Park Records founder 9 Some questionnaire answers 10 The Trojans, for short 11 Surface-swimming equipment 12 It may come close to

Uranus 13 Says it’s so 18 “___ Fall in Love” 22 “Is it bigger ___ breadbox?”

26 Soft drink that used to be a Mr. 27 Start of some humorous comments from elders 28 Diamond pattern 30 Clay character who said “Oh no!” a lot 34 Henry ___ Award for college basketball coach of the year 35 Category 37 Gourmet food mecca of Japan 38 Rapper in a Viking helmet, familiarly 39 Sultry star of early talkies 40 Unfavorable 41 Goes back to fix the paragraph again 44 Words after “cute” or “calm” 45 Actress Dewhurst of “Anne of Green Gables” 47 Pontius ___ 48 Jai ___ (fast-paced sport) 49 Acted like a predator 51 “I don’t believe it!”

52 ___ a tie (require overtime) 57 Winter Palace ruler 59 Self-help workshop movement of the 1970s 61 On the ___ (fleeing) 62 Uno plus due

©2009 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0431

Solution To Last Week’s Puzzle

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Spirits Within

Hook & Ladder—Yes, It Is Wine

By Joshua Hurley This week from the folks at Riley's Wine and Spirits in Hixson:

H

ook & Ladder winery is located on 375 acres in Sonoma County’s Russian River Valley. In 1970, San Francisco firefighter Cecil DeLoach purchased 24 acres of oldvine zinfandel in the Russian River Valley of Sonoma County. For five years, other wineries made wines from his grapes. In 1975, DeLoach decided to make wines for his own eponymous label, ‘'DeLoach'’.

More than 20 years later, Cecil sold DeLoach, but continued to make wines under a smaller winery that employs a simple philosophy; ''Craft exceptional wines from the highest quality grapes that people love to drink’'. As well as learning to grow and craft exceptional wines, Cecil DeLoach retired from a 16-year career with the San Francisco Fire Department. He chose the name Hook & Ladder to honor those 16 years.

This week we have picked seven varietals.

Our first pick is Hook & Ladder’s Sonoma County Russian River Valley Chardonnay. Wine Spectacular awarded this wine 88 points in the

August 2009 issue. This chardonnay is handmade, well balanced and certainly lives up to the DeLoach family winemaking philosophy. This distinctive, clean, elegant chardonnay palate offers tangerine, nectarine and ripe, green apples and is the perfect accompaniment to fish and poultry dishes.

The 2006 Sonoma County Russian River Valley Cabernet Sauvignon is grown in the northeast section of the Russian River Valley, which exposes the fruit to warmer days and cooler nights. This allows the grapes to ripen at a slower rate, developing richer, more complex flavors. This cabernet is aged 18 months in a combination of French and American oak barrels, which impart flavors and tannins, both of which are desired for red wines.

Hook & Ladder’s 2005 Russian River Valley Merlot is the pick of the litter, and more than any of his other wines, shows Cecil DeLoach’s 40-year mastery of wine making. This merlot was grown on 16-year-old vines which yield less fruit, but the yield is more intense in flavor and higher in overall quality. Intense aromas of vanilla, cinnamon and cherry are followed by flavors of blackberry and cherry; rounded with maple. Wine Points awarded this wine a near perfect score of 98 points!

The 2007 Estate Pinot Noir was made with Old World techniques. The fruit was crushed by hand and aged totally in French oak for ten months. Deep red in color, its aromas and palate are matched with blueberry, raspberry, vanilla and black pepper—excellent both with a meal or on its own.

The 2005 Sonoma County Zinfandel is grown in the heart of the Russian River Valley, an area perfect for growing great ‘Zin’ grapes. Dark red in color, this

“As well as learning to grow and craft exceptional wines, Cecil DeLoach retired from a 16-year career with the San Francisco Fire Department.’’

wine contains aromas of raspberries, blackberries and oak spice, followed by a palate lush with blackberries and chocolate.

For our last two picks we offer something different—two blended Hook & Ladder reds. With ‘'Station Ten 2006’', you’ll taste a bold, full-fruitforward red wine blended with zinfandel, petit syrah, carignane and a small amount of alicante. ‘'Station Ten'’ contains aromas of blackberry, boysenberry and some plum which lead to flavors of berry and vanilla. Enjoy this wine by itself or with BBQ or turkey.

Our last pick was given 88 points by Consumer Guide to Fine Wines and is the best of the two blended red wines offered. The 2006 Hook & Ladder Tillerman Red, like its predecessor, benefits from the growing climates offered in the Russian River Valley. Once again, aging in separate French and American oak for at least a year offers complexity often absent in blended red. This purplish-red blend contains aromas of chocolate raspberry truffle, clove and spice that give over to flavors of berry and pepper. ''The Tillerman'’ was designed to pair with just about any meal.

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Table Service

The 24-Hour Good Food Connection

By Colleen Wade

O

n any given day, you could park outside either location of City Café Diner and watch people come and go—and the majority of those people would leave carrying a takeout box. Why is that? It’s because City Café Diner has “good food and plenty of it”—so much so, they’ve made that their slogan. “Good food and plenty of it.” Kind of catchy, definitely true.

According to Max Vasquez, one of the managers at the Carter Street location, size of the portions, quality of food, quality of service, and speed of service are the requirements set by owner Lee Epstein. Mr. Epstein has a long history in the restaurant business, and can often be found at the grill or peering through the pass-through window into the kitchen. He is involved in all of the restaurants’ catering jobs.

“Never had souvlaki?

No problem, order a Combination Greek Platter where souvlaki is featured with a gyro, spinach pie, and dolmades, served up with fries and a Greek salad.”

Prior to opening City Café Diner on Carter Street, Epstein had a number of City Café Diners in the Atlanta area. He has since closed those restaurants, and is focused on making his Chattanooga locations the best they can possibly be. A native New Yorker, Epstein modeled the City Café Diners’ style after the diners of his youth. Upon arrival, you’ll see lots of chrome, mirrors, neon, and plenty of smiling faces.

When asked what their suggestions were from the menu, Vasquez and new General Manager Gary Haworth had one suggestion for everyone…try

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everything! Both managers stress that there are vast options for your dining pleasure.

You’ll find breakfast on the menu 24 hours a day, Greek specialties, Italian specialties and so much more. Never had souvlaki? No problem, order a Combination Greek Platter where souvlaki is featured with a gyro, spinach pie, and dolmades, served up with fries and a Greek salad.

In the mood for some broiled stuffed flounder Florentine? City Café Diner has it. They offer two soups each day made from scratch, and there are more than 35 items on their lunch menu. Says Vasquez, “Cover to cover, there are approximately 400 items on our menu.”

Since they are open 24 hours, City Café Diner has a prep team working around the clock to ensure quality. They also have their own off-site bakery that creates nearly all of their more than 70 wellknown desserts—including several sugar-free or gluten-free items—and bakes all the breads used at City Café Diner.

City Café Diner at Carter Street does a brisk lunch business. Gary Haworth says people should

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never be concerned about getting their meal, eating and making it back to their desk in the allotted time. Still a little worried? That’s OK…call City Café Diner up for delivery. City Café Diner offers Chattanooga’s only 24-hour delivery service, and between the two locations, they cover everywhere from Collegedale to the foot of Signal Mountain.

Aside from the great meals, amazing desserts, generous portions, and timely service, City Café Diner at Carter Street also offers sweet libation.

The recently updated lounge, The Office, is open from 4 p.m. until 3 a.m. Monday through Friday and 5 p.m. til 3 a.m. on Saturday—and has a surprisingly large selection of domestic and import beers. You’ll find everything from Budweiser to Fat Tire. Monday through Friday, they offer happyhour specials that will blow your mind—well drinks for only $2 and drafts for $1.

Need a drink, a meal, or some of that sweet, sweet dessert? City Café Diner has you covered.

City Café Diner is located at the Best Western Heritage on Lee Highway and at the Days Inn Rivergate on Carter Street.

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Music Feature

Friends, No Favors

By Hellcat

I

generally write about upcoming shows and local venues in town—but the last few weeks, I have been noticing several trends I felt like I should point out to all of our local musicgoers.

Last week, I discussed how certain people only go to their favorite hangouts and will avoid a show entirely based on a preconceived notion of the venue, regardless of what bands are playing. This hurts the venue, the band, and our local scene.

This week, I have yet another topic to broach with my readers. It is the getting in free or, “Hey, can you put me on the list?” move.

I understand that you know a guy in the band. I understand that you used to work with the bassist. I get that you probably do know someone inside and maybe they did tell you to come out and support the show. I am sure they are stoked that you made it out. However, let me note a few things that most people might not know.

Most venues only give their musicians a set number they can add to their guest list, even if they are headliners. If they aren’t the headlining act, then odds are, their slots for the guest list are even less. The promoter, booking agent, sound guy, and anyone else involved shouldn’t even have a guest slot, unless it has some involvement with the show. So—don’t look to them to get you in.

it is a one-man show, the money is taken and split between members. At times, this means the band members of your favorite band only get 20 or 30 bucks. For a couple hours of sweat and the constant practice leading up to their show, that’s not a big pay out.

In fact, they are probably in the red for all the gas money they’ve put out for trips to the practice space and the maintenance of their equipment. Not to mention the extra-cool threads or neat little highlights they acquired just to rock out for you in style.

I say all this to let the most casual of music lovers know that asking for a favor at the door is like asking for money out of the band’s pocket you came to see, because they end up paying for your entry. You may feel special for a minute or super cool in front of that girl you like, but is it really worth it?

Do people come to your place of work and ask you to give them things for free? Do your buddies show up at your house and ask to take some of your stuff home with them? Oh, and is it cool if my wife takes your cat home, too? Or hey, I have a friend from out of town and he rarely gets out, can you go ahead and give us 20 bucks? Would you go into Wal-Mart, pick out the one thing you came for and walk out with it for free? No… wait, that’s stealing. It’s basically the same thing.

I’m not saying that people are trying to take away from the band, because I am sure they are not. But

“Asking for a favor at the door is like asking for money out of the band’s pocket you came to see, because they end up paying for your entry.”

I am going to go ahead and assume that most people don’t know that. I am also going to assume that most people don’t know that the local artist has to pay for the sound, the room, or the security, or all of the aforementioned before they even get paid, at some venues. Then, unless

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I don’t think that people really pay attention or know any better. This is why I am writing this piece, so that now, everyone will know exactly what their “favor” at the door costs the band. Coming out to “support” your friends’ band, if you want to get in free, isn’t supporting them at all. I get that everyone is broke sometimes.

Hell, in this economy we’re broke most of the time—but save your money at the bar, not at the door.

Drink a cheaper drink, or have one less than you usually would to support a good sound. That way, everyone is happy and everyone still has a good night. But it is doubly insulting to let someone come in for free and then watch them slam shots all night and think nothing of signing on a $40$50 tab. If you can afford it, then you are one of the fortunate people, and should cough it up at the door.

Seriously.

Now, most press and media get in for free if they are doing a write-up or have done a write-up on the band. Or if a person has done some work for a venue, and if the venue chooses to put them on the list of the establishment, then that is up to the venue, provided they are not charging the band for those that they have put on their own business list. I pay to get in shows I have nothing to do with at venues I have nothing to do with, and am happy to do so. I’ve gone to the door plenty of times to pay to have my friends let in, when I probably could have slid them through, but I know how hard all of our musicians work, so I don’t. I suggest that you don’t either—that’s the decent thing to do especially, if that really is your friend in there playing their heart out.

Music Calendar Friday

Thursday

RE-UP Horn section meets hiphop in the this eight-member band. $7 9 p.m.

The Low Down, 306 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 468-3593. myspace.com/thelowdownchatt

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Lon Eldridge 6:30 p.m. Coffee Crafters, 426 Vine St. (423) 756-9995.

Raven Bro 7 p.m. Magoo’s, 3658 Ringgold Rd. (423) 867-1351.

Pink Cadillac 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd, #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Jon Latham, Tony Underwood 9 p.m. Mudpie Restraunt, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043.

Picture Me Free 10 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Lord T and Eloise with DJ’s Flannelboy and Axisforthelord 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

The Masters of the Celtic Harp From Ireland and Scotland come these master musicians. $10 suggested donation.

8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-4960. www.christunity.org

Saturday

Jonell Mosser Band with the David Sterchi Band Nashville songbird has sung with the best and matched them. $10 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market Street. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Monday The Wedding, House of Heroes, Abandon, Kansas, This is Luke, Apple Trees and Tang 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Rinngold Rd., east ridge.

Monday Night Big Band 7:30 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com Vince Gill 8 p.m. Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad St. (423) 642-8497.

The Gibson Brothers, Dismembered Tennesseans 7 p.m. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 265-0771.

In This Hour, Alcins, Hundreth, Social Jetlag 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

Foshay and More 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019.

David Allen Slater 8 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 424-3775.

Roger Alan Wade 9 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Ter. (423) 876-3356.

Star and Micey 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

The Beaters 9 p.m. The Tin Can, 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 648-4360.

Marty Bohannon 9 p.m. The Low Down, 306 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 468-3593.

Robosapien, Sparks, and Digital Butter 9 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 820 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977.

Milele Roots 9:45 p.m. Bart’s Lakeshore, 5600 Lake Resort Terrace.

(423) 870-0777.

Slim Pickins 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260.

Bud Lightning 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Pokey LaFarge, Rum Drum Ramblers, Gander Mountain String Band, Brandy Robinson 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Sunday Children 18:3, The Overseer, Fit for a King, Within the Eddy 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

Greensky Bluegrass 7 p.m. Riverfront Nights, Ross’s Landing.

The Highway Drifter, The Hearts in Light, Behold the Brave, April Cover 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019.

Roger Alan Wade 8 p.m. Top of the Dock, 5600 Lake Resort Ter. (423) 876-3356. topofthedock-chattanooga.com Dana Rogers 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd, #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Open Mic 8 p.m. Mudpie Restraunt, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043.

www.mudpierestaurant.com David Allen Slater 8 p.m. The Foundry, 1201 South Broad St. (423) 424-3775. www.chattanooganhotel.com Eric Lee Band 9 p.m. Riverhouse Pub, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Dos Mojo, Too Far Gone South 9 p.m. The Low Down, 306 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 468-3593. myspace.com/thelowdownchatt No Big Deal 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260.

New Binkley Brothers, Ian Thomas, Slim Pickens 11 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

DJ Spicolli Raw Sushi Bar Restaurant & Nightclub, 409 Market Street, (423) 756-1919.

Tuesday

Wednesday

Look Mexico, Saving Ashley 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

Tim Lewis 6 p.m. Big River Grille Hamilton Place, 2020 Hamilton Place Blvd.

(423) 553-7723.

Open Mic with Hellcat 8 p.m. Raw, 409 Market St. (423) 756-1919.

Billy Hopkins 8 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260.

Channing Wilson 9 p.m. Spectators Bar, 8021 E. Brainerd Rd. (423) 648-6679.

Computer and Friends Trust JJ’s to be the place on a Sunday night. $7 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Kofi Mawuko, Olta, Burundi Band and more 11 a.m. First Tennessee Pavilion, 1829 Carter Street.

(423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com Drumline 2 p.m. Finley Stadium, 1826 Carter Street. www.chattanoogadrumline.com Open Mic w/Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge 4762 Highway 58, (423) 485-0966. www.myspace.com/debbieslounge Irish Music 6:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Open Mic Gene’s Bar & Grill, 724 Ashland Terrace, (423) 870-0880. myspace.com/genem14

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Ben Friberg Jazz Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. www.marketstreettavern.com Johnston Brown 8 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton Place, 6925 Shallowford Rd. Ste. 202. (423) 499-5055.

DJ at The Palms 9 p.m. The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd, #202.

(423) 499-5055.

Open Mic with Mike McDade 9 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996.

Uncle Billy and Friends 8 p.m. The Tin Can, 618 Georgia Ave. (423) 648-4360. www.thetincanchattanooga.com

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike, (423) 266-1996.

Weedeaster, Hoth, Oxygen 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

Nathan Farrow 9 p.m. Buds Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878.

Lord T and Eloise with DJs flannelboy and axisforthelord Aristo-krunk funkiness arrives at JJ’s with babes, Rolls Royces and silver chalices. Lord T crashed the Grammys, yo! $7 10 p.m.

Thursday, September 24 JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

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Music Feature

CSO Pulls Out the Big B’s

By Phillip Johnston

T

he Chattanooga Symphony Orchestra Masterworks series presents its first concert of the season Thursday and Friday, featuring acclaimed violinist Alexandre da Costa and works by two pillars of the concert tradition: Beethoven and Brahms.

The showcase of this week’s concert is the Violin Concerto in D minor by Ludwig van Beethoven. One of the most famous concerti in the violin repertoire, Beethoven’s work is cemented in the music timeline in between the violin work of Mozart and Mendelssohn.

By the time 1806 rolled around, Beethoven’s name was huge in the Viennese artistic community because of his prolific and unparalleled musical innovation. Capitalizing on this, a popular concert violinist and friend named Franz Clement commissioned a violin concerto from Beethoven to be performed at a December benefit concert.

Although Beethoven wrote extensively for the violin in his quartets, sonatas and the rhapsodic triple concerto, this would be the only concerto he would write for solo violin. Timpani blasts echo in the course of the 50-minute concerto, but the fury and fire of Beethoven’s symphonies are nearly absent—in fact, the word that most scholars and listeners use to describe it is “serene.”

The composition of the violin concerto wasn’t all serenity and calm, though.

In fact, the score remained unfinished until moments before its concert premiere, leaving Franz Clement with the unfortunate duty of sight-reading much of it. According to reviews published at the time, Clement even interrupted the concerto between the first and second movements to play one of his own compositions—a showpiece that he played utilizing only one string of the violin while holding the instrument upside down.

Giving the spark of life to Beethoven’s concerto this weekend with the CSO is the noted Canadian violinist Alexandre da Costa. Da Costa has performed the work of Beethoven, Mozart, Bruch, and Tchaikovsky across the United States and Europe with such notable orchestras as The London Royal Philharmonic and The Montreal Symphony. Coupled with the Beethoven concerto, conductor Robert Bernhardt will also lead the CSO in the second symphony of Johannes Brahms. With Beethoven’s greatness looming over his head, it took Brahms more than 20 years to compose his first symphony. The end result was so successful that he soon left for a holiday by the sea to compose a second.

This Symphony No. 2 in D Major was yet another triumph for the composer and is considered one of his sunniest works, no doubt because it pays homage to his great friend and mentor Robert Schumann. A close friend of the composer was full of hyperbolic praise upon first reading the score, saying that the symphony was “all rippling streams, blue sky, sunshine, and cool green shadows!”

The three great Bs of classical music—Bach, Beethoven, and

“Perhaps more than any other of the classical greats, Beethoven and Brahms exhibit this glorious fusion of nature and art.”

Look no further than the first movement for an example of this.

The first few measures lay the foundation for the whole affair with a quietly announced melody via woodwinds moving in simple, slow harmony. This melody never quite reaches a resolution, but instead gives way to a fully orchestrated symphonic statement before the soloist enters.

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Brahms—are well known to most and their work ages with grace. The CSO knows this (there’s more Beethoven to come this season), but one of the best things about conductor Robert Bernhardt and the CSO is how they strive to make classical music accessible to the public. There’s no pomp or pretension here, just a dedication to excellence, and for this, music lovers of all stripes can be glad.

Despite the nearly fatal premiere of his violin concerto, Beethoven still had great respect for Franz Clement and found it in himself to pen a letter to the young musician. “Go forth on the way you have hitherto traveled so beautifully, so magnificently,” Beethoven wrote. “Nature and art vie with each other in making you a great artist. Follow both and, never fear, you will reach the great— the greatest goal possible to an artist here on earth.”

Perhaps more than any other of the classical greats, Beethoven and Brahms exhibit this glorious fusion of nature and art, and we have maestro Bernhardt and his orchestra to thank for bringing these two musical greats to Chattanooga this week.

CSO Masterworks Series: Beethoven Violin Concert $19-$79.

8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street (423) 267-8583. www.chattanoogasymphony.org

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dale deason mornings 5:30 - 9 zack cooper afternoons 4 - 7

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Ask A Mexican

Burritos in Space

By Gusatvo Arellano themexican@askamexican.net

Dear Mexican, In Garfield strips in the funny pages that appeared earlier this year, Garfield is wearing a sombrero and taking siestas. While cute and all, isn’t the sort of thing that we have been striving to stop? What was Jim Davis thinking? Maybe he needs a refresher course in not making pendejadas.

— Odio Odie Dear Wab, Garfield is still around? Have editors finally exiled it to the viejitos comic-strip page alongside Gasoline Alley and Mary Worth?

Or is it stuck among ghoulish strips that’ll never die like Peanuts and The Family Circus? I hadn’t read Garfield in years until your prompt, and I gotta admit—I laughed at the sombrero. Cheap, unfulfilling laughs like only the fat cat can provide, but rizas.

Garfield puts salsa on the sombrero’s brim? ¡Jajaja! Garfield gives a mouse a sombrero because he makes cheese quesadillas? Heehee! And Garfield, if I remember correctly does nothing but eat and sleep, so to accuse him of taking siestas for anti-Mexican purposes no es bueno.

Us Mexicans need to make peace with the sombrero, need to realize that, outside the cornette associated with the Daughters of Charity and the Green Bay Packer cheesehead, it’s the funniest hat around and that its use by gabachos doesn’t always

signify Mexican-bashing (combine it with a mustache, and you have a diferente story…).

Eternal vigilance is the price of a conscious Mexican in this country, Odie Hater, but don’t make out Davis to be another Joe Wilson.

Oh, and final piece of advice? For your comic-strip needs, the Mexican recommends to his gentle readers La Cucaracha and 9 Chickweed Lane.

Dear Mexican, My great-great-granduncle was Colonel William Barrett Travis, the one who commanded the defense of American settlers at the Alamo and one of the first casualties. I’ve been told by a Mexican friend of mine that I should be ashamed of this, but all my life I’ve been proud of it.

What do you think?

— Descendant Of a 1635 Immigrant Dear Gabacho, What do I know? I’m just an unassimilated Mexican who still doesn’t get why millions of Americans continue to celebrate their traitorous Confederate ancestors. Similarly, I don’t understand why you’d be proud of a slave owner in your family tree—you don’t see many Mexican boasting of the conquistador blood in their raíces, after all. And that whole Alamo deal? Don’t get it.

Maybe it’s just a Texas thing, but what was that whole cosa about?

Gabachos who came to Texas at the invitation of the Mexican government promising to become Mexicans, then reneged on their vow and were surprised when their

rulers tried to crush the resulting secession movement?

Sure, General Santa Anna was a tyrannical pendejo, and there’s always something to admire about last stands (see the Battle of Puebla), but the Texas War for Independence was the opening volley in Manifest Destiny. Why, this whole Alamo episode and its resulting discontents sounds just like the 1830s version of the present-day Mexican invasion to me!

CONGRATS TO: Astronauts Danny Olivas and José Hernández, for recently eating burritos in space, and especially to Hernández, who spoke out in favor of amnesty for illegal immigrants.

From the deserts of Sonora to the Bering Sea, to o now outer space, the Reconquista not only is real, it’s COSMIC..

To quote thatt other famouss illegal alien, the Borg: Resistance is futile, Know Nothings!

“From the deserts of Sonora to the Bering Sea, to now outer space, the Reconquista not only is real, it’s COSMIC. “

Ask the Mexican at themexican@ askamexican. net, myspace. com/ocwab, find him on Facebook, Twitter, or writee via snail mail at:: Gustavo Arellano, no, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433.

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