The Pulse, Vol. 6 Issue 18

THE DELTA QUEEN • NIGHTCLUB ZONING • TASER TROUBLE

sustainability: (inter)connectedness

FREE

April 30, 2009 Volume 6 • Issue 18

CONTENTS T H E P U L S E • C H AT TA N O O G A , T E N N E S S E E • A P R I L 3 0 , 2 0 0 9 • V O L U M E 6 , I S S U E 1 8

COVER STORY

page 11

NEWS & VIEWS 5 PULSE BEATS

21 LIFE IN THE ‘NOOG

The newsy, notable and notorious.

Pump down the volume.

14 SHRINK RAP

22 SHADES OF GREEN

Love your inner cracked pot.

Awareness is good, action even better.

19 ON THE BEAT

30 ASK A MEXICAN

Moonlighting for fun and profit.

Cinco de Mayo mariachi cheat sheet.

ARTS & CULTURE 16 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT By Michael Crumb Serious art in semi-public spaces might become a trend in this Scenic City now that Cessna Decosimo has collaborated with Daniel Lindley by painting the restroom panels of Lindley’s new restaurant, Alleia. Art in the baths of old Rome finds a resurgence in the Italian eatery with paintings that recall Italian motifs surrounding the patrons while they use the facilities.

20 FILM FEATURE

By Phillip Johnston Last week, I lamented what a shame it would be if director Joe Wright’s new film The Soloist became “a slimy sob story complete with incessant screaming at life’s hard knocks and a mopey climax.” The premise does sound rather conventional: Struggling news reporter meets homeless, mentally ill, musical genius and uses the press to bring the musician’s story to the public eye.

25 MUSIC FEATURE

By Hellcat It’s that time of year again. I can feel it creeping in like a guilty teenager after curfew. The only difference being—I can’t figure out how to ground this mischievous troublemaker, and it never seems to learn from its mistakes.

Cover layout by Kelly Lockhart

PLANNING FOR AN UBRAN FUTURE

By Blythe Bailey Volkswagen chose Chattanooga for what has become an oftrepeated remark: Our city’s long-term commitment to sustainability.

Not coincidentally, it’s the same theme for the nine volunteers of SDAT, or Sustainable Design Assessment Team, a national grant program administered by the American Institute of Architects, which was awarded to Chattanooga for 2009.

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EDITOON LETTERS TO THE EDITOR CITY COUNCILSCOPE THE LIST POLICE BLOTTER CHATTANOOGA STREET SCENES

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NEWS FEATURE A&E CALENDAR MUSIC CALENDAR NEW MUSIC REVIEWS FREE WILL ASTROLOGY JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

The entire contents of this publication are copyrighted and property of Brewer Media Group.

No part of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the express written consent of the publishers. The Pulse utilizes freelance writers and the views expressed within this publication are not necessarily the views of the publishers or editors. The Pulse takes no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts, photographs, artwork or other materials.

The

Editoon

by Rick Baldwin

Publisher Zachary Cooper zcooper@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Editor Janis Hashe jhashe@chattanoogapulse.com News Editor/Art Director Gary Poole gpoole@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Editor Stephanie Smith ssmith@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising Sales Rick Leavell rleavell@chattanoogapulse.com Editorial Intern Erica Tuggle etuggle@chattanoogapulse.com Contributing Writers Gustavo Arellano, Blythe Bailey Misty Brannon, Rob Brezsny Aaron Collier, Elizabeth Crenshaw Chuck Crowder, Michael Crumb Rebecca Cruz, Lysa Greer, Hellcat, Phillip Johnston Matt Jones, Jeremy Lawrence Louis Lee, Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D. Damien Power, Stephanie Smith Alex Teach, Robert Yates Art Department Sharon Chambers Kelly Lockhart Damien Power Alisha Whalen

Letters to the Editor

Contributing Artist Rick Baldwin Staff Photographer Damien Power Contributing Photographers Bob Edens Joshua Lang Ray Soldano Contact Info: Phone (423) 648-7857 Fax (423) 648-7860 E-mail info@chattanoogapulse.com Advertising advertising@chattanoogapulse.com Calendar Listings calendar@chattanoogapulse.com The Pulse is published weekly and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publishers may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

The Pulse is published by

1305 Carter Street Chattanooga, Tennessee 37402 phone (423) 648-7857 fax (423) 648-7860 Letters to the editor must include name, address and daytime phone number for verification. The Pulse reserves the right to edit letters for space and clarity. Please keep letters within 500 words in length.

The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on culture, the arts, entertainment and local news.

Member

Not Running For Governor Many people have encouraged me to run for Governor or Congress in 2010. I can’t tell you how much those words of support have meant to me, Monique, and our family. I wanted you to hear directly from me that I have decided I will not be a candidate for Governor or Congress in 2010. I believe I can most help the state and the people who live here by continuing to serve in the State Senate. Over several months I have met with civic, business and labor leaders, as well

as scores of concern citizens across the state. All agree that we need a leader to build on the progress made under Governor Bredesen as we face these tough economic times and an increasingly uncertain future.

We also need leadership in the General Assembly. As more Tennesseans are out of work and our budget problems have mounted, the General Assembly has too often been distracted by side issues and petty disputes. We need to do better. We need to focus on the challenges that Tennesseans face every day—finding work, paying their bills, making sure our children get the education they need to succeed, keeping their neighborhoods safe, and finding quality health care for an affordable price. We also must set our sights higher and build a future that meets our extraordinary potential.

Senator Andy Berke Tennessee District 10 Living With Intention Dr. Rick, I’m an associate of Mary Anne Radmacher’s and saw you’ve enjoyed her quote, “live with intention” [“Shrink Rap: Enjoy The Ride”]. I know Mary Anne is so

happy when people find inspiration from her words in the context of their daily lives.

Jessica Chattanooga Help Needed?

How can this newspaper have gone on as long as it has without Dr. Rick from one column psychoanalyzing or otherwise helping the cop who so obviously needs it in the other column?

Joe Citizen Chattanooga Loving The Idols I’ve read all sorts of articles on the latest American Idol show, and I can safely say that by far, your website article is the BEST written [“American Idol Top Seven: The Sequel”, PulseBlog]. You are not snarky and not rude to any of the contestants, and I applaud that. Thank you for being level-headed! I have a quiet belief that Kris will win the competition.

Somehow, someway, he will beat Adam, no matter how fantastically good he is.

Adelyne Smith London, England

Send all letters to the editor and questions to info@chattanoogapulse.com We reserve the right to edit letters for content and space. Please include your full name, city and contact information.

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Pulse Beats

Quote Of The Week: A rundown of the newsy, the notable, and the notorious...

“We have seen no evidence that the economy has fallen to the point where people are left with no options other than crime to support themselves.”

—Chattanooga Police Deputy Chief Mark Rawlston, responding to questions about whether the recession has led to more crime in the city.

Is It A Hotel Or A Steamboat?

Visitors to Coolidge Park alongside the Tennessee River over the past several months have been admiring the stately lines of the famed Delta Queen riverboat, docked in front of the popular park. Many have taken the opportunity to tour the ship in anticipation of its hoped for rebirth as a floating hotel under the management of Capt.

Harry Phillips and Sydney Slome.

One of the few remaining hurdles left before they open the doors on what could be the city’s most unique boutique hotel is final approval from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and TVA. But there are at least two rather vocal groups out there who are not completely pleased with the planned use for the historic river vessel. One group has been circulating a petition among various web sites and e-mail lists asking for a special exemption to the 1966 Safety of Life at Sea Law (Public Law 89-777) that forbids any vessel, foreign or domestic, constructed primarily of wood, from operating from a United States port carrying more than 50 overnight passengers.

Past owners of the Delta Queen, which is constructed primarily of oak, mahogany, cedar, teak and Siamese ironbark, made many modifications to the boat to try and bring it in compliance with the various maritime safety laws. She has two complete steel hulls, fire-retardant coatings on the decks, an advanced sprinkler system and a sophisticated electronic monitoring system. Yet, even so, it will take a special exemption to allow the Queen back into regular river service, should the current (or future) owners ever decide to do so.

Another group, which has its own web site at save-the-delta-queen.org, isn’t calling for a direct return of the boat to river service, but wants to make sure she doesn’t become permanently moored in front of Coolidge Park, losing her navigable independence. They want to see the “permanent” mooring permit issued with additional restraints to make sure there will not be any structural changes to the ship, so she can be easily re-activated as an overnight passenger vessel if she receives a new exemption from Congress.

The leasing contract between Ambassadors International, owners of the vessel, and the operators of the Delta

Here is one of the more interesting agenda items set to be discussed at the May 5 meeting of the Chattanooga City Council.

7. Resolutions: a) A resolution authorizing payment in the amount of $25,900.00 to Hamilton County Government as the City’s portion of the cost to refurbish the Fireman’s Memorial Fountain as per an agreement dated May 16, 1988.

Queen Hotel at Chattanooga contains an agreement that “the Delta Queen will still be maintained in operating condition and able to return to cruising service at any time”. The web site group wants the additional restraints on the mooring permit in the case the Queen is sold and the agreement from the leasing contract is no longer valid. The group makes it very clear it has no problem with either Phillips or Slome, but is worried about the financial health of Ambassadors Inter-

national and want to ensure the Delta Queen doesn’t suffer the same fate as the Queen Mary, which became permanently moored in Long Beach, Calif. 30 years ago, never to sail again.

As for final approval from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers, the Corps foresees no problems, stating in a recent public notice that, “other than floating docks that would be positioned adjacent to the ship, no other modification would occur to the shoreline or adjacent uplands.”

Can A Petition Recall A Mayor?

The Hamilton County Election Commission is taking serious a petition from environmental activist Frank DePinto seeking to recall Chattanooga mayor Ron Littlefield. The commission has agreed to consider DePinto’s petition and is currently researching the various city and state laws to see what the proper procedure is in such a situation.

DePinto, who led an unsuccessful petition drive to restore weekly curbside recycling in 2006, wants Littlefield removed from office for deciding to cut back home recycling pickup to once a month. Littlefield has repeatedly defended his decision based on the expense of the operation as well as the high amount of pollution produced by the older collection trucks. He has since discussed moving to a twice-a-month schedule, but has made no formal announcement on when that will begin.

The issue before the election commission is a bit more complicated. DePinto is claiming that if he gets the required number of signatures on his petition, the mayor will have to step down from office. Commission attorney Chris Clem disagrees, stating that a petition would only lead to a referendum by city voters on whether or not to keep Littlefield in office. Also needing clarification is the number of votes needed. A city ordinance calls for 9,387, while a state law sets the bar higher at 14,859 votes. The commissioner will address these various issues on May 13 after hearing back from the state election coordinator.

Believe it or not, there have been some complaints from a few disgruntled citizens about the amount of money spent on the restoration of the Fireman’s Memorial Fountain located in the corner formed by the meeting of Georgia Avenue, Lookout Street and E. 6th Street. The complaints have been, for the most part, centered on the cost of the restoration, the feeling being that the money could have gone to more “useful” things.

We are not sure what is more “useful” than restoring a famous city landmark that adds to the appeal and charm of the city (the type of thing that makes us an attractive tourist destination) as well as honoring the memory of the firemen who died in the tragic Bee Hive Store fire in 1886. Far from being a faded part of Chattanooga history, the memorial gives honor to those who gave their lives to protect the city and its people, and just because that sacrifice was made more than 120 years ago does not diminish their heroism nor our responsibility to honor that heroism.

Governments often make some silly spending decisions, and The Pulse has documented many of those over the years, but this is one decision we support completely. Not only does this honor a very heroic period in our history, but the fountain itself is an embedded part of the fabric that makes Chattanooga “home”.

The Chattanooga City Council meets each Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Council Building at 1000 Lindsay St. For more information on the agendas, visit www.Chattanooga.gov/City_ Council/110_Agenda.asp

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A weekly roundup of the newsworthy, notable and often head-scratching stories gleaned from police reports from the Chattanooga Police Department, the Hamilton County Sheriff’s Office, the Bradley County Sheriff’s Department and the Dalton Police Department.

Four Great Ways To Prevent Home Burglaries 1. If you have a sliding glass door, secure it with a rod in the inside track. Burglars will generally try to enter your house unseen, and they tend to favor sliding glass doors as many people forget to lock them. Make sure you lock all sliding doors and windows.

2. The best advantage for a burglar is stealth. You can avoid any burglar taking advantage of this by pruning shrubs and bushes around your home on a regular basis.

3. Some people have the habit of leaving their keys above the door frame, or under the door mat or flowerpot. Avoid this as the burglar too knows about these common hiding places— and you are leaving an open invitation to him by hiding your keys in these places. You can always leave a spare key with a neighbor, friend or relative.

• If you’ve found a taser in Coolidge Park, the Chattanooga Police would love to hear from you. While trying to subdue an altercation in the popular downtown park on Saturday night, an officer had his taser holster broken, allowing the stun gun to fall free. After peace was restored, however, officers were unable to located the missing weapon, even after a thorough search of the park. Officials have asked that if anyone has the taser or knows of its current whereabouts, please call them at (423) 698-2525. And before you scoff, remember the last time that this happened, the missing taser was discovered and returned within just a few days.

• Officers who are involved in prostitution stings often catch some unusual “johns”. However, even seasoned officers were admittedly a bit surprised when a recent sting in the East Lake area nabbed a potential customer who

4. The most secure way is to arm your house is with a security system. Make a habit of setting the timer every day, even if it is only for a few minutes.

With the good news about the arrests of a major home burglary ring comes renewed emphasis on how you can help keep yourself from becoming a victim.

These four simple steps will go a long way in labeling your house with a big “Burglars Not Welcome” sign, albeit one only visible to the criminally minded.

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will soon be celebrating his birthday.

His 77th birthday. The Special Investigations Unit and officers from the patrol division conducted a sting operation involving officers posing as prostitutes. A number of men solicited the undercover officers, three of whom had weapons and drug charges placed on them after officers found a handgun, marijuana and drug paraphernalia. But none more surprising than the septuagenarian Casanova.

• College students offer do strange things during Finals Week, but storming the library is never considered to be a good idea. UTC and Chattanooga police were dispatched to UTC’s Lupton Library last week after a group of students, organized through postings to Facebook and Twitter, gathered at the library around 11 p.m. for an impromptu party. When campus police attempted the disperse the crowd, several students became unruly, leading to the city police being called in to assist in breaking up what one officer described as a “riot”. Several students were arrested, and while several offi-

Chattanooga Street Scenes

cers were struck by thrown water bottles and other objects, no injuries were reported.

• If you had your home broken into between May and April, you’ll be relieved to know that you might have a chance to recover some of your stolen property. Officials from a number of local agencies held a press conference last week to announce that they had broken up a three-person burglary ring responsible for nearly 60 home burglaries in May. If you have been a victim of a home burglary, whether you reported the crime or not, officers want to hear from you and get your help in identifying specific stolen items. Chattanooga residents should call Sergeant Rebecca Shelton at (423) 643-5122, Catoosa County residents should call Detective Donald Roach at (706) 935-2424, Hamilton County residents should call Detective Steve Burnette at (423) 2098954, East Ridge residents should call Detective Gwen Cribbs at (423) 2275448, and Collegedale residents should call Detective Katherine Cooper at (423) 242-8466.

Photogragh by Kelly Lockhart

A young fan waits for autographs before a Lookouts game.

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NewsFeature

by Gary Poole

Proposed Zoning Change Targets New Nightclubs A

proposed change to the Chattanooga zoning ordinance will come before the City Council in several weeks that would, if approved, make it far more difficult for business owners to open a nightclub or themed restaurant in the city.

The ordinance, which would create a 1,000-foot exclusion zone from a residential area for any new cabaret, nightclub, entertainment restaurant, music club, sports bar or comedy establishment, was drafted by the Planning Commission at the behest of councilmember Carol Berz, who represents the Brainerd area.

The resolution claims that concerns have been expressed regarding the excessive noise and disruption that accompanies such establishments and the impact they cause on nearby residents. While the downtown area would not be affected, as it operates under a special zoning system that allows for mixed-use development (hence the closeness of condos, churches, restaurants, retail businesses, etc.), this ordinance could have a profound impact in Brainerd Road, as well as sections of Hixson Pike, Highway 153 and Highway 58—all areas where residents and business owners have often been at odds with one another.

The resolution would define exactly what a nightclub is, as well as requiring any new nightclub to apply for a Special Exemptions Permit to the council that would include a site plan, general plan for the utilization of any building (including decks and balconies), location of amplified speakers, parking plans, and noise-reduction efforts. It also calls for the 1,000-foot exclusion zone for any residentially zoned property.

To give you an idea how long 1,000 feet is: It is just a bit longer than ten basketball courts placed in

a row. A majority of commercial properties along Brainerd Road fall within that exclusion zone, thereby effectively making it very difficult to open any new establishment of this kind along the popular Brainerd Road corridor if the change if approved by the council.

However, opposition to the proposed ordinance from property owners who will be faced with greater difficulty in developing or leasing their properties is expected to be fierce. In the current economic climate, commercial property owners are having difficulties finding new tenants. Losing the ability to utilize their property as a themed restaurant or nightclub would make it that much more difficult to lease.

There are also concerns about the fact the Special Exemptions Permit would need to be presented di-

“There is concern that the council is attempting to micromanage a specific business class, bypassing the jurisdiction of the Planning Commission.�

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rectly to the City Council instead of to the Planning Commission. There is concern that the council is attempting to micromanage a specific business class, bypassing the jurisdiction of the Planning Commission. One of the main purposes of the commission is to balance the needs of residential, commercial, and industrial interests in the city. Bypassing their expertise in regard to nightclubs does not sit well with a number of government and business people.

Adding yet another aspect to the issue is law enforcement. Officials with the Chattanooga Police Department have noted that the Brainerd Road corridor has long been a major trouble spot for officers.

Cutting down on the number of nightclubs would have a dramatic impact on crime in the area, one officer predicted. The end result would be an overall increase in property values, which would benefit area residents. The ordinance would not affect any current businesses, but with the fairly rapid turnover in the nightclub business (the average club operates for less than three years before closing), the impact on Brainerd especially would be noticed within just a few years.

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Cover Story

All Systems Go: Planning for an Urban Future Is All About Connections

By Blythe Bailey

V

olkswagen chose Chattanooga for what has become an oft-repeated remark: Our city’s long-term commitment to sustainability. Not coincidentally, it’s the same theme for the nine volunteers of SDAT, or Sustainable Design Assessment Team, a national grant program administered by the American Institute of Architects, which was awarded to Chattanooga for 2009. The SDAT approach concentrates on an integration of several principles of planning, not the least of which is ecological sustainability. The fact that VW has committed to the preservation of an adjacent 3,000 acres of green space indicates that they too have been considering this project beyond just an economic perspective. In fact, the preservation of this much land associated with the development of an automobile manufacturing plant is unprecedented in this country. That’s a little less than half the size of Central Park in New York City. And that may offer some But the park wasn’t just about visionary guessperspective on not only on the need for inwork or preservation of green space, just as the optegrated planning but also SDAT’s multi- portunity of VW coming to town isn’t just about disciplinary approach. economic development, and the Mayor’s Climate Today, Central Park appears carved out of the dense building fabric of the city, as though it were always there. But when the park was conceived, the majority of the city’s population was concentrated more than 50 blocks to the south. The land claimed for the park was largely left over, relatively unsettled, and somewhat rural. A park roughly the size of today’s downtown Chattanooga was created in what was a sparsely populated, rural suburb, in anticipation of growth and change over the course of many generations—something inconceivable to many 19th-century New Yorkers.

Action Plan isn’t just about air quality. Central Park was an endeavor integrating social and cultural as well as economic and ecological considerations. Like most parks, it was meant to be a natural sanctuary inside an increasingly hard and cold city. And not just a place for human solace; a much deeper ecology, the park was to become a refuge for migrating birds and other natural ecosystems. Today, it’s a social necessity for New Yorkers, providing a peaceful place for a jog, softball game, or to watch a concert. The architecture is stunning, bridges and pavilions blend with the

natural environment and streets and paths weave through the tree canopy. And the real estate immediately surrounding the park is now some of the most valuable in the world.

The park is the product of long-term vision, and represents a robust urban ecology, a cherished place to play, a beautiful composition of physical attributes, and a standard-bearer for economic development.

So as the upcoming SDAT visit focuses on exploring “interactions between ecological, sociological, economic, and physical systems,” the image of Central Park gives us a concrete example to the question, “What exactly does that mean?”

It’s not likely that there is another Central Park on the way, or at least not on that scale. Rather, the www.chattanoogapulse.com 4.30.09 The Pulse

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Cover Story cover story continued from page 11

SDAT will help us integrate all of the issues that come with the development of such a large part of our future economy and growth. It’s not just about the industry; it’s also about how the landscape gets built around it, how ecologies and the environment are considered, and how people are affected. Steve Haase, Franklin Associates Architects and past president of the local AIA chapter, led the effort to apply for the SDAT grant. The application requested assistance with two major challenges/opportunities, the growth associated with the Volkswagen plant and the Mayor’s Climate Protection Agreement. For Haase, “If our region grows similarly to the communities around Greenville, SC (BMW) or Spring Hill, TN (Saturn), then we need to be prepared. The numbers I’ve heard are for 9,000 new jobs including VW and its suppliers. That is potentially a lot of new people, and does not include all the associated jobs—accountants, schoolteachers, retail workers and housekeepers, etc. The SDAT will look at some ‘broad picture’ items that will help to solve parts of the Mayor’s Climate Protection Agreement; however, this is more of a community participation and education issue. As a community, we need to be smarter with the way we live and the way our communities grow.”

The SDAT program is designed to encourage interactions between cultural, economic, and environmental systems. According to the AIA web site, “The SDAT program is a community assistance program that focuses on the principles of sustainability. SDATs bring teams of volunteer professionals (such as architects, urban designers, planners, hydrologists, economists, attorneys, and

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others) to work with community decision-makers and stakeholders to help them develop a vision and framework for a sustainable future.”The grant application cites Chattanooga’s successful history of public participation, unique geography, and successful downtown revitalization as elements crucial to the process. According to Haase, “The SDAT team is coming to our region to consider our built environment, including water and waste issues.

However, they know that they can’t just look at those in isolation, so they will assess our region in a more holistic way including our air, food, transportation and energy issues.”

The SDAT p r o g r a m awards ten grants each year, and in 2009 our region was awarded along with such communities as Virginia Beach and Los Angeles. While some applications are more localized, even focusing on specific districts within a city, ours is regional, including the surrounding counties and multiple municipalities within the 30mile radius of Enterprise South.

Haase, together with the local SDAT Steering Committee, composed of architects, planners, building professionals, and other diverse professional interests, immediately identified VW as a

pivotal event in the history of Chattanooga. Their thought was this: What we plan for—or don’t— will affect our city for generations. The massive influx of infrastructure for the plant itself, but perhaps more importantly, the residual effect of increased housing development, the need for additional human services such as education, water and power, and how all of this growth affects the environmental quality of not just the city but the multi-county region, are all issues the SDAT will consider.

Our region has a choice. The default is to leave it alone; allow our current land use and zoning codes, in place since the 1950s, to effectively dictate the structure of growth. Our current development codes emphasize car-oriented development, massive highway infrastructure, “big box” commercial development, and farmland subdivisions.

Current zoning seems to dictate more of the same suburban sprawl that has gripped major cities like Atlanta and Los Angeles in a perpetual struggle for simple resources like clean air, efficient and reliable transportation options, and plentiful drinking water.

In a perfect—if frightening—example: During the last two summers, Atlanta literally ran out of water. Chattanooga Mayor Ron Littlefield’s jest of sending a truckload of water to the city during the drought of two summers ago was a purposeful jab at what had been a largely political issue.

His point, emphasized again in his recent inaugural address: Resources can be managed with smart choices. In the case of Atlanta, encouraging or even requiring high-efficiency plumbing fixtures would have done wonders for the problem, but instead of evaluating current development structures, some members of the Georgia legislature diverted attention to the relatively impractical and shortsighted idea of claiming Tennessee’s water in a property dispute.

In our case, the infusion of investment by VW (as well as the lesser publicized but equally important investment from Alstom) will create a growth spurt that presents an opportunity to evaluate growth differently. According to Littlefield, “We’re rich with resources, but with the example of Atlanta so close to home, the economic push from VW and Alstom represents an opportunity to plan for our growth in a way that is practical rather than political.”

Karen Hundt, director of the Downtown Planning and Design Studio and pivotal member of the SDAT steering committee, has overseen the development of the recently unveiled Climate

“As the upcoming SDAT visit focuses on exploring ‘interactions between ecological, sociological, economic, and physical systems,’ the image of Central Park gives us a concrete example to the question, ‘What exactly does that mean?’”

Cover Story Action Plan, a major topic for the SDAT visit. She also recognizes this tremendous opportunity.

“Volkswagen coming to Chattanooga is a great economic boon to this region, but along with this economic growth comes the temptation to continue the sprawling physical growth of the past,” she says. “We must seize this opportunity to change direction and follow a more sustainable path, one that strikes a better balance between the economy, ecology and social equity.”

The challenge clearly revolves around an exploration of interrelated systems. For Hundt, it’s about transportation, agriculture, green space, and air and water quality. “If we develop more mixed use, walkable communities we will decrease the amount of driving we have to do and begin to lower our carbon footprint,” she points out. “At the same time, we will reduce our dependence on fossil fuels (certainly a good thing to do in these times of fluctuating fuel prices), protect our water quality, improve our air quality and make it easier to preserve more land for open space, parks, greenways and local agriculture. Who can argue with all of those benefits?”

From their commitment to land preservation and sustainability, VW doesn’t seem to be arguing. On the contrary, they seem anxious to join us in the mayor’s commitment to lower our carbon footprint and lessen the impact our city has on the environment. The exploration of social, ecological, physical, and economic considerations could be described by what Littlefield calls, “the marriage of industry and the environment.” In one sense, VW is prepared to lead by example, with their commitment to sustainability and land preservation, but in another sense they’re simply following in our green footsteps and joining us in the challenges our future holds. The SDAT team will be helping us figure out how to meet those challenges.

For those interested in the process, the SDAT team will make their final visit on May 4-6 with a series of public interaction sessions, followed by a report and presentation on the evening of May 6.

The Pulse’s first citizen’s panel on sustainability was held April 28.

Contact Janis Hashe at jhashe@chattanoogapulse.com if you would like to be added to the contact list.

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ShrinkRap

by Dr. Rick

Love Your Inner Cracked Pot Editor’s note: Dr. Rick is taking some well-deserved vacation time, so we’ll be re-running a couple of his most popular columns while he’s away.

I

want to share this fable with you.

An elderly woman had two large pots, hung on the ends of a pole that she carried across the back of her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full.

For two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.

But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. Feeling like a bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house.”

The old woman smiled, “Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while

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we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers for my table.

Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace my home.”

The moral, of course, goes something like this: Each of us has our own uniqueness. It’s the cracks and flaws that make our lives together so interesting and colorful.

And valuable. Perhaps we can better learn to accept each other for who we are and look for the good.

Perhaps “flaws” and “cracks” are just a matter of perception.

It’s important to realize that we are all works in progress. And when we do wish to make changes and improvements, it’s healthy to do so through the lens of selfesteem. The following is what I call a “Self-Esteem Checklist” to spark the process of taking stock of your life—looking, realistically, at what works, and what doesn’t: • Freud said to love and to work are all we need. How is your love life? Are you happily involved?

Happily single? Is there something about the types of people you become involved with that you need to change?

• How is your work life? Do you look forward to waking up every morning with a sense of purpose to your day? You’re the only one who can choose to set your path in a new direction if that’s what you desire.

• How balanced is your life? Are you a workaholic, or do you strike a healthy balance between work, love,

The Pulse 4.30.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com

family, fun, and relaxation? Balance is important in order to avoid burnout and feeling overwhelmed.

• The Mind/Body/Spirit connection. How is your health?

Do you help yourself to stay healthy physically? Are you keeping your mind sharp with thought-provoking conversations/books/movies? What about the state of your spirituality?

Whether you’re a church-goer, meditator, or tree-hugger, it’s important to develop a sense of connectedness in your life.

• Friendships. It’s a sure-fire sabotage of a relationship with a sig other to expect him/her to be your everything. And so we have friends.

Some to confide in, some to laugh/ cry with, some to discuss esotery with, some to pig out with. And some to grow old with.

Take a look at this list every now and then, perhaps every year on your birthday. See how well you’re doing in the self-esteem department.

Which cracks are you keeping, and which do you want to change? It’s up to you.

And meanwhile: Remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path.

Till next week: “Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can!” — Entertainer Danny Kaye (1913-1987) Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, minister, and educator, in private practice in Chattanooga, and is the author of “Empowering the Tribe” and “The Power of a Partner.” Visit his website at www.DrRPH.com

“Perhaps we can better learn to accept each other for who we are and look for the good.

Perhaps ‘flaws’ and ‘cracks’ are just a matter of perception.”

www.chattanoogapulse.com 4.30.09 The Pulse

15

Arts&Entertainment

by Michael Crumb

Latrine Cessna-Rama

S

erious art in semi-public spaces might become a trend in this Scenic City now that Cessna Decosimo has collaborated with Daniel Lindley by painting the restroom panels of Lindley’s new restaurant, Alleia. Art in the baths of old Rome finds a resurgence in the Italian eatery with paintings that recall Italian motifs surrounding the patrons while they use the facilities.

The outstanding decor of Alleia has been augmented by four restrooms (two for each gender) with the specific gender of each designated by nude sculptures provided by Cessna and mounted to the restroom doors.

Patrons’ knowledge of anatomy will lead them to their proper places. Inside the restrooms, a total of sixteen panels have been painted in acrylics

by Cessna.

The artist insists that these are works in progress and that he will be returning to refresh his work there.

This work presents a plethora of fig-

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ures, including both nudes and faces, even Cessna’s own face and that of his wife Elizabeth Rogers-Decosimo. Figures from mythology are mixed with contemporary figures, such as tennis players and cheerleaders, a panorama of Cessna’s figural themes.

There are also representations from the “old country” itself, but the presentation of these images has an interesting quality. Since the restrooms are mostly done in dark panels, the spaces that are painted are upper “off-white” areas around each room. In this confined space, Cessna uses a montage technique.

The word “montage” simply refers to the juxtaposition of images— images placed next to each other.

We’re used to this concept with regard to film, since film is constructed with consecutive frames. Film montage techniques sometimes get incorporated into static presentations for dramatic effect. Guido Crepax’s Valentina, a graphic novel, opens with a stunning sweep of perspective, and Todd McFarlane frequently used montage effects to heighten suspense

in his “Spawn” comic books.

Cessna‘s approach to montage, incorporated in the differently sized panels, involves “perspective, depth, and light,” paradoxically bringing light into what is often considered a dim space. Here, a panorama of a Florentine sculpture garden features diminishing figures fading into the distance, and there, a large figure finds itself juxtaposed to a smaller one. Thus, the panels possess dynamism, inhabited with light. A number of the figures also shed a whimsical, humorous light in their interplay.

The only difficulty with this special show derives from the fact that the restrooms are gender-specific, so folks will only get to see their own gender’s portion. Perhaps with permission or with ingenuity the whole spectacle can be viewed. What a lovely vision to accompany Chef Daniel Lindley’s Italian offerings prepared with such wondrous care! Viva Alleia!

Cessna Decosimo’s panels are inside Alleia 25 E. Main Street (423) 305-6990

A&ECalendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Friday

Thursday

Chattanooga Traditional Jazz Festival 2:30 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-0944. www.chattanoogajazzfestival.com

Community Open House 10 a.m. Center for Creative Arts, 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5942.

Hicks Gone Wild 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

“Hot Jazz in Stone and Steel: An Exploration of Early American Jazz” Bob Schulz’s Frisco Jazz Trio is featured at the Hunter.

5:30 p.m. cash bar 6 p.m. program Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-9844. www.huntermuseum.org

“Contemporary Landscapes of the Southeast” Bill Shores Frames & Gallery, 307 Manufacturers Rd., Ste 117.

(423) 756-6746.

“Celebrate!”

Hanover Gallery, 111 Frazier Ave. (423) 648-0533.

Reception for Coyee Langston’s “Inner Light” 5 p.m. In-Town Gallery, 26A Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214.

Chattanooga Ballet presents La Bayadere The classic ballet about a doomed Indian temple dancer.

$15 8 p.m.

UTC Fine Arts Center, “The Untold Story of the Great Vine & Palmetto Streets.

Black Jockeys” (423) 425-4269.

African-American Museum, 200 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-8658. www.utc.edu/fineartscenter

Saturday

The Big Friendly Giant 2:30 p.m. Circle Theatre, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Mamma Mia not enough Abba for your dabba? Check out the CSO with Jeans ’n Classics. $19-$77 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre, 709 Broad Street.

(423) 267-8583. www.chattanoogasymphony.org

Monday

Chattanooga Ballet presents: La Bayadere: Kingdom of the Shades 7 p.m. UTC Fine Arts Center, 614 McCallie Ave. (423) 425-4269.

Hicks Gone Wild 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Tuesday

Auditions for Psycho Beach Party 7:30 p.m. Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534. www.theatrecentre.com

Flick Café: Great Short Films A Night of Animation 6:30 p.m. Chattanooga Downtown Public Library, 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310. www.lib.chattanooga.gov

“Comfort & Joy” exhibit of quilts by Sandi Suggs North River Civic Center, 1009 Executive Dr., Suite 102.

(423) 870-8924.

“Senior Thesis Exhibition II” Cress Gallery, UTC Fine Arts Center, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 304-9789. www.utc.edu/cressgallery

Bob Dombrowski’s sculpture Linda Woodall Fine Arts, 7836 Ooltewah-Georgetown Rd. (423) 238-9985.

“A Barage of Butterflies” Houston Museum of Decorative Arts, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com

“Two Image Makers,” art by Brian Dunne Brock Hall Gallery, Southern Adventist University, Collegedale, Tn. (423) 236-2089.

Reception for “All That Jazz” with musical guests the Ralph Miller Jazz Duo 6:30 p.m. River Gallery, 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033. www.river-gallery.com

The Big Friendly Giant 7:30 p.m. Circle Theatre, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534.

Hops and Opera 7 p.m. CreateHere, 55 E. Main St. (423) 648-2195.

Hicks Gone Wild 7:30 p.m. & 10 p.m. The Comedy Catch & Giggles Grille, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233.

Poetry Open Mic Night 7:30 p.m. Barnes & Noble, 2100 Hamilton Place Blvd.

(423) 893-0186.

Sunday Chattanooga Traditional Jazz Festival 10 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-0944. www.chattanoogajazzfestival.com

CSO presents “The Music of Abba”

Reception for AVA Member Salon Show 5:30 p.m. AVA Gallery, 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282.

St. Scarlet 7:30 p.m. Humanities Auditorium, CSTCC, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246.

“Connect” Shuptrine Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453. www.shuptrinefineart.com

The Last Flapper 7:30 p.m. StoneFort Inn Dinner Theatre, 120 E. 10th St. (423) 267-7866.

Traditional Jazz Festival 10:30 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo, 1400 Market St. (423) 266-0944.

St. Scarlet 7:30 p.m. Humanities Auditorium, CSTCC, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246.

Free First Sunday Noon to 5 p.m. Hunter Museum, 10 Bluff View. (423) 267-0968.

“A Barage of Butterflies” Houston Museum, 201 High St. (423) 267-7176. www.thehoustonmuseum.com “Senior Thesis Exhibition II” Cress Gallery, UTC Fine Arts Center, 615 McCallie Ave. (423) 304-9789.

“Connect” Shuptrine Fine Art & Framing, 2646 Broad St. (423) 266-4453.

Wednesday Poetry Night 7 p.m. CreateHere, 33 E. Main St., Suite 105. (423) 648-2195. www.createhere.org “Faces: An Exhibition Benefiting the Craniofacial Foundation of America” CreateHere, 33 E. Main St., Suite 105. (423) 648-2195. www.createhere.org “New Work by Lorraine Christie and Bruno Zapan” Gallery 1401, 1401 Williams St. (423) 265-0015. www.gallery1401.com Southeast Veterans Museum Chattanooga Ducks building, 201 West 5th Street.

(423) 756-3825. southeastveteransmuseum.com

Chattanooga Market Our favorite market is back and this week is the Latin Fair.

Vamanos!

Free 11 a.m. - 4 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter Street.

(423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

St. Scarlet 2:30 p.m. Humanities Auditorium, CSTCC, 4501 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 697-3246.

The Big Friendly Giant 2:30 p.m. Circle Theatre, Chattanooga Theatre Centre, 400 River St. (423) 267-8534.

Hicks Gone Wild 8 p.m. The Comedy Catch, 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233. www.thecomedycatch.com

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week Hops and Opera Artisanal brewksi and arias and duets from local vocalists. If you always said you’d need beer to enjoy opera, here’s your chance. Wagner would be proud, and thirsty.

Friday, May 1 7 – 9 p.m.

CreateHere, 55 E. Main Street (423) 648-2195. www.createhere.org

www.chattanoogapulse.com 4.30.09 The Pulse

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The Pulse 4.30.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com

OnTheBeat

by Alex Teach

Moonlighting For Fun And Profit L

ike most cops, I work a side job to make up for the salary I don’t make as a reasonably intelligent person or a remarkably dumb one with excellent reflexes.

I’m the one directing traffic for churches, or walking the mall keeping the peace between handling shoplifters. I have guarded bar parking lots against afterhours brawls and break-ins until they were disallowed, and I have escorted diamond shipments from the comfort of my own vehicle. I have watched the lots of restaurants and bowling alleys, and I’ve even hidden in a few errant kitchens with a shotgun in my hands in expectation of a predicted break-in and more…but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, has ever been so fulfilling as the times spent in a Section 8-area convenience store.

That these stores are operated largely by first-generation East Indians is not just incidental, it is crucial to my enjoyment of such. They are an economically fierce people, and these are the businessmen and women that take advantage of the loans presented to them and go with them where the market is most demanding—and usually most dangerous. Chain stores cannot operate effectively amidst chaos; and The Hood does not permit the flow of “reality” required by them to operate. This leaves a niche to be filled by the daring and the hungry, and in my experience the East Indian is that hungry operator. In lieu of mastery of the English language is their business acumen, dedication to the dollar, and most importantly, their willingness to adapt to the most culturally diverse environment possible.

While such a store is not defined by its relative filth, it is a definite indicator. These stores are signaled by not only their apparent lack of concern for sanitation, but the very non-order of their displays in accordance with any flow charts regulating demographics or even relative common sense. The newspapers are located between ice cream and sealed pickles. Hair

weaves and hair beads are displayed next to the case of deep-fried wings and potato logs that were concocted in deep fryers behind closed doors, immune to the regulations of known health codes and the decency afforded to the most congenial vats of grease and fat. If you were still in doubt, you could use the contagionslicked public restroom containing a weed-eater to the right of the toilet tank and spare copper pipes to the left. But the real signal to me was always the type of “singles” sold over the counter. Single cigarettes, single 12-oz. beers, single Starburst and single Nerds are sold in record numbers and under close scrutiny by clerk and customer alike.

I am used to this after years of exposure, but my attention is still drawn to disputes from the clerk such as, “No! It is not two dollar, it is two tirty-nine! It has never been two dollar! It has always been two tirty-nine, de price has never change, yet every night you come in and say dis!” and, “No! No, I will not ‘Hit you back, dog!’ You will pay me now or you will get nutting!”. The worst it’s ever been was a, “Vuck me? No, I don’t tink so. Vuck YOU!”, but even those end well with only minimal intervention, so in all I know I have a good thing going.

Outside the store, people wait in line at the gas pumps to obtain up to two dollars of gas at a time while walking around the empty 40-oz. bottles of Steel Reserve and pint bottles of chocolate milk littering the parking lot. The interesting part about the gasoline is that whether the gallon is sold at $1.89 or $4.50, the dollar amount is the same, so we’re talking about sales of oneand-three-quarters to a half-a-gallon at a time. It’s not a problem for the customers because they’ll make the same journey and purchase up to four times a night or more, but even factoring in the social purposes of appearing at a gas pump, it fairly baffles me. Is it cultural? Social?

Or just a snapshot into how long life is expected to last or at least stay interesting in The Hood?

I continue my research and collect my money, and do so surprisingly with little complaint. Normality doesn’t exist here, so the conditions

are tolerable as they always are when you work where some are afraid to frequent but still consider you an equal, and you can traverse your social network with a glance or wave. The bonds of friendship become twice as strong twice as quickly with the staff and other people, because they are actually forced to get to know the cops as regular folks (unlike the most frequent and nonchalant critics of same) and occasionally discover they like them. I even find myself sad to leave (because no store in The Hood stays open 24 hours, after all), but like all aspects of said Hood (with the exception of the fryer grease) it never truly ends or stops changing, so I always have something to look forward to the next time.

Come in and make a purchase, but be quick, and remember: They may not hit you back, dog, but the pickles can’t expire, and the chicken?

Well, the chicken is deep fried and that should be good enough…then be about your way. If loitering were allowed, the cop in the parking lot wouldn’t be there in the first place.

It’s a special place, but like any other…even these operators have Rules.

Alexander D. Teach is an occasional student of the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga and a graduate of Central High. In his spare time he enjoys carpentry, auto mechanic work, boating, and working for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

“Deep-fried wings and potato logs are concocted in deep fryers behind closed doors, immune to the regulations of known health codes and the decency afforded to the most congenial vats of grease and fat.”

www.chattanoogapulse.com 4.30.09 The Pulse

19

Film Feature

by Phillip Johnston

This Is Your Mind on Beethoven L

ast week, I lamented what a shame it would be if director Joe Wright’s new film The Soloist became “a slimy sob story complete with incessant screaming at life’s hard knocks and a mopey climax.” The premise does sound rather conventional: Struggling news reporter meets homeless, mentally ill, musical genius and uses the press to bring the musician’s story to the public eye.

Well, The Soloist’s story made me sob, but not for the reasons I feared it might. The film tells the story of an oddly calculated friendship between two very different men, but it doesn’t pretend for an instant that doing your best to help a troubled person can cure mental illness or that music, however powerful, can cause a permanent turnaround for a wayward life.

On the contrary, The Soloist is one of the most mature films of its kind, tackling issues of mental illness, homelessness, and human responsibility with sensitivity and tact. The true story of Los Angeles Times reporter Steve Lopez and cellist Nathaniel Ayers, the film is honest, true to itself, and never tries to be something it’s not.

Steve Lopez (Robert Downey Jr.) first encounters Nathaniel Ayers (Jamie Foxx) playing a two-stringed violin in a park beneath a looming statue of Ludwig Van Beethoven. Ayers is disheveled, dragging a shopping cart full of all his earthly belongings, and wears a yellow visor emblazoned with the names of classical composers. Lopez initiates conversation, but Nathaniel turns away, talking rapidly in his light voice about many things, but always mentioning Beethoven. It’s always Beethoven with Nathaniel and it’s clear to Lopez that he isn’t entirely sane.

Lopez is fascinated by this chance encounter and due to a dearth of column subjects, composes a piece about his introduction to Nathaniel Ayers.

He gets him connected with the Lamp Community for the homeless in Los Angeles and eventually finds an apartment where Nathaniel can have private cello lessons and practice in relative peace.

But Nathaniel’s mental illness is ever-present. When confronted with the complete silence of a new apartment, the voices in his head shout, scolding

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him and telling him that he is “of no consequence.” A tasteful selection of flashbacks show the genesis of his affliction, from the early whisperings heard during his childhood in a grimy New York basement to the unbearable cacophony during his short stint at The Juilliard School.

Nathaniel wants Steve in his life one moment and wants him out the next.

His mind is in a state of constant indecision, but Lopez’s personal life follows much of the same path. He’s in an onand-off relationship with a co-worker that produced a child 20 years earlier and he’s caught in a cycle of selfishness that can’t seem to be stopped.

Foxx’s performance is volatile but subtle; he’s not begging for awards, but it is a very fine piece of acting, obviously crafted with much thought. This delicacy momentarily makes even his afflicted character a joy to watch and it comes as a surprise when he explodes with rage at the beginning of the film’s final act.

The moments when the film soars are the ones that invoke pleasantly arranged classical music, but don’t worry: These invocations of Beethoven and Bach will not grate on the ears of classical music lovers who have grown tired of hearing the same classical pieces unendingly repeated in film after film. You’ll find no tinkly “Fur Elise” or droning “Moonlight Sonata” in this film. You will, however, find a moment like this: Lopez and Ayers are standing on the sidewalk of a busy Los Angeles underpass; Lopez has just brought him a donated cello. Nathaniel begins to play a Beethoven cello suite. The sounds of the street are cancelled out and we hear only the cello; we see only his fingers on the strings, his eyes glazed with passionate intensity. Without im-

mediate notice, the orchestra slips into the soundtrack to accompany the soloist and the passion tucked away in the dark for so long is finally pushed into the magnificent light of day.

As if the spiritual intensity of this moment weren’t enough, the camera quickly pulls away from the two men and, in one swift and blissful move, soars into the sky above Los Angeles.

In an instant, we’ve been transported into Nathaniel’s psyche as his soul soars above the confines of his illness and into the clouds. It is a moment of pure, unadulterated grace.

Joe Wright has knack for moments like this. His directorial vision breathes needed life into Susannah Grant’s mediocre screenplay. The sound design and editing style at times feels like an experimental film, a brave move for a major studio release. But Wright isn’t pretentious—he’s imbued the subject matter with pathos and poise enough that his creativity doesn’t seem stilted.

The film gets distracted with hamfisted politics when the characters don’t take the forefront, but the politics don’t hinder us from seeing that both Steve and Nathaniel constantly hold in view the possibility of new, better life. Neither of them achieves this completely by the film’s end; it remains a dim possibility either because of political red tape or the shame of unwise personal choices.

But the darkness doesn’t have to abide…and this elegiac, somber film more than proves the matchless worth of a steadfast spirit of hope.

The Soloist Directed by Joe Wright Starring Jamie Foxx, Robert Downey Jr., Catherine Keener Rated PG-13 Running Time: 109 minutes

LifeInTheNoog

by Chuck Crowder

Pump Down the Volume T

here’s a new zoning ordinance on the City Council voting agenda the second week in May that would require “nightclubs” zoned C-2 to submit schematics for any outdoor congregating or parking area on their premises, and prevent them from operating such areas less than 1,000 feet (nearly a quarter mile) from an R-1 residential zone within the city limits.

This is likely in response to growing complaints and publicity about trouble brewing in the neighborhoods surrounding a couple of specific nightclubs out on Brainerd Road, where it seems that high-output audio enthusiasts would rather sit out in the parking lot and thump their car stereo at maximum decibels than try their luck with the ladies inside.

I’ve never really understood the concept of placing a club-size P.A. system into the trunk of your car and then pumping bass-driven music through it as loud as possible, so that the very bolts of your car’s chassis and suspension are systematically, yet rhythmically, shaken lefty-loosey to beats laid down by some hip-hop artist affectionately known to his friends as “dawg.” But apparently, this is “cool.”

I’ve also never understood how someone can purchase a home or condo in a neighborhood within close proximity to a bustling business district and then complain about the noise. That’d be like buying a home

on the brow of Lookout Mountain and complaining about the view. You should know what you’re getting into going in. When you buy urban, you give up suburban.

I can’t talk, really. I’ve complained in this very column about the occasional smells emitting from the chicken-processing plant located a few blocks from my house. To me, that’s pollution. And to the poor folks living near these clubs, the earthshattering trunk funk coming from these four-wheeled concert halls is also pollution (especially at 3 a.m.).

So I’m with them—this oppression will not stand, man (as The Dude abides).

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t the police department purchase equipment a few years ago that measures the decibel levels emitted by car stereos? And weren’t they poised to hand out tickets to anyone with a car stereo louder than the average lawn mower? What happened to that?

Maybe the meter maids who hand out parking tickets in downtown loading zones in the middle of the night could instead cruise the club circuit and hand out noise-pollution citations. Nab some real offenders.

And throw the book at ’em.

Why can’t we police noise pollution? And not with Band-Aid legislation like new zoning ordinances for bar decks and parking lots. I’m also sick of the “sick” sounds coming out of the vibrating Buicks I roll up on at any given urban red light.

How’s keeping the party 1,000 feet away from my house gonna help that?

I know, I know: It’s not just the car stereos, it’s the people talking, yelling, hooting and hollering at each other outside of the bar’s four walls that’s just as much the issue here. But you give a nightclub owner and a few of his louder patrons $50 tickets for disturbing the peace and trust me, they’ll start keeping it down.

The problem is that blanket zoning ordinances like the one proposed are not very enforceable, and could actually cause more harm than good down the road. What about all of the empty or near-empty strip centers in Hixson and Brainerd that face main roads but back up to residential neighborhoods? Are we now limiting the tenant pool?

The proposed ordinance, as I understand it, does not include downtown because just about everything downtown is mixed-use and already zoned C-2. But if it did, we could kiss our urban renaissance bye-bye. In fact, no current or proposed downtown nightclub location I can think of would pass.

But the problem isn’t really the club’s location; it’s the loud people in and around it.

Bottom line is that excessive noise is pollution. And it should be controlled. But asking someone to turn down the volume might be better enforced with a costly ticket instead of a worthless ordinance.

“Asking someone to turn down the volume might be better enforced with a costly ticket instead of a worthless ordinance.”

Chuck Crowder is a local writer and general man about town. His opinions are just that. Everything expressed is loosely based on fact, and crap he hears people talking about. Take what you just read with a grain of salt, but pepper it in your thoughts. And be sure to check out his wildly popular website thenoog.com

www.chattanoogapulse.com 4.30.09 The Pulse

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ShadesOfGreen

by Elizabeth Crenshaw

Awareness Is Great—Action Is Best Editor’s note: We’d like to welcome our new Shades of Green columnist, Elizabeth Crenshaw.

E

arth Day is a holiday marked by a lot of talking about awareness. It’s a day on which we reflect how badly our planet needs stronger environmental regulation, enthusiastic stewardship, cleaner business and more efficiently heated and cooled buildings.

And when the day ends, you hope that someone is recycling all the paper those messages were printed on.

I don’t mean to insinuate that Earth Day is without merit. First celebrated in 1970, the same year the EPA was created, Earth Day was meant to bring attention to the rampant environmental degradation going largely unnoticed by many Americans. Founded by a concerned senator from Wisconsin, Earth Day helped bring about change. Groups championing different causes had a holiday on which to unite, bringing individual battles for clean water, clean air, endangered species, land conservation, and regulation for polluting industry under a common banner. That strong, revolutionary attitude seemed to soften throughout 1980s and 1990s, but I am glad to say that on this year’s Earth Day in Chattanooga, there was an event that took place in that same strong vein.

The Community Commitment event, sponsored by Chattanooga Green, was a different sort of Earth Day celebration. This celebration was not centered on awareness, but on action, and offered people the chance to better the city’s environmental future every day of the year.

The event was designed to give interested citizens the chance to commit to the Chattanooga Green Committee’s Climate Action plan through volunteering for an Action Team.

This all started about a year ago, when more than 500 people attended the Chattanooga Public Input meeting to address Chattanooga’s “green gaps”. Mayor Littlefield appointed the Chattanooga Green Committee to advise and assist Chattanooga’s longterm sustainability. The Committee took suggestions from the public,

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research from different programs, and advice from subject-matter experts to create the 47 recommendations that make up the Action Plan. This plan is geared toward putting Chattanooga on a sustainable path in several areas: energy efficiency, natural resource protection, building healthy communities, and growing education and policy. Under these titles, there are about 100 Action Team topics for the public to commit to. From creating incentives for sustainable industry and greening city buildings to integrating local food into schools and preserving trees, this plan has a team for everyone.

Mayor Littlefield prefaced his support of the plan with stories of Chattanooga’s past environmental neglect and his signing of the Mayor’s Climate Action Pledge. It is worthwhile noting that Littlefield is one of only six mayors in Tennessee to have signed the pledge.

A UTC environmental group set up a booth about their recycling and other efforts. EPB had a booth with energy-efficiency tips and Green Power Switch information, while Take Root was there offering the public a chance to ask questions, track the initiative’s progress and donate. The Habitat Re-Store was also supporting the event. The Re-Store recycles building materials that would have otherwise been buried in a landfill. I had not heard of the Re-store before the event, so I was excited to find out about it. The store stocks appliances, wood, hardware, light fixtures, furniture and insulation—not only friendly for the planet, but good for bargains.

The diverse crowd of people who attended seemed genuinely excited to be there. In the sign-up room, I heard people discussing the teams, eagerly exchanging ideas. One green builder I spoke with doesn’t allow one piece of the building process to end up in the landfill. Surely this same principal can apply to how we as a community operate. Another couple discussed their research on installing wind turbines on their home with me. “We just need batteries now,” she mused.

“That’s where the future of renewable will be! How can we implement this type of thing here?” Everywhere you turned, people were more than aware of the problem—they were doing something about it.

The Pulse 4.30.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com

If you missed the event, but are interested in signing up for an Action Team, contact Brad McAllister at mcallister_b@mail.chattanooga. gov or (423) 668-2274 to sign up or to get more information. You can also visit the city’s site (www. chattanooga.gov/chattanoogagreen) and click on the “get involved” link.

The Climate Action Plan is available free online at www.chattanooga. gov/ChattanoogaGreen or a “deluxe version” can be purchased at Image Works for $62. Chattanooga Green is also now on Twitter and Facebook if you are more of the social networking type.

I plan to be involved in greening buildings around town, but there are so many important areas in this movement, it is really hard to choose.

One person can devote only so much time, so I feel that it is important to pick only what you can manage.

People are going to really have to commit if this movement is to gain the sort of momentum that it needs.

But the enthusiasm is heartening, as is the unified direction it is all going in.

An Earth Day ending with a real plan for the rest of the year is a welcome change.

Elizabeth Crenshaw is LEED accredited and works for EPB in Strategic Planning.

Originally from South Carolina, Elizabeth moved to Chattanooga after graduating from Warren Wilson College in 2007.

“One green builder I spoke with doesn’t allow one piece of the building process to end up in the landfill.

Surely this same principal can apply to how we as a community operate.”

www.chattanoogapulse.com 4.30.09 The Pulse

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The Pulse Real Estate Guide

To list your Residential or Commercial Real Estate, Contact Rhonda Rollins at (423) 242-7680

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The Pulse 4.30.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com

MusicFeature

by Hellcat

Riverbland Anticipation I

t’s that time of year again. I can feel it creeping in like a guilty teenager after curfew. The only difference being—I can’t figure out how to ground this mischievous troublemaker, and it never seems to learn from its mistakes.

You have probably guessed that the name of the arrogant little monster I describe is Riverbend. Excuse me, as I dramatically sigh, in all of my excitement. This festival annually ruins the lives of those who are downtown natives and under the age of 50. Well, that might be an abrasive statement.

Allow me to amend. It just ruins the lives of downtown natives, regardless of age.

I say this because it consists of ridiculous traffic at typically peaceful hours as our little city is bombarded with tank tops, flip flops, and plastic beer bottles. In my experience, it does nothing for the local music scene except pull people away from the already struggling venues trying to support it, as it is nearly impossible to book a band and have a reliable turn out.

With the exception of the downtown chain restaurants, such as Chili’s and Friday’s, where typical tourist types go, I don’t see that much money going into our local community. Exactly how many vendors are local? How many of our local artists get paid? I know, at times in the past, some of our artists have played for free or very little.

Granted, there are places to drop off things to the Goodwill, and where you can give blood, which I was pleased to discover. But where do the profits go? Where does all the money from the $28 pins, the $37 at-the-gate pins, the $5 sodas and $7 beers go?

Maybe this is common knowledge and I am just unaware, but I pored all over their web site and could not find an answer.

I also noticed that this event is “green”. Well, awesome. But how is it green? I want to know what steps have been taken to make it so. Or is something “green” just because you say it

is? I am a curious little cat, and I know that I am probably not making any new friends by voicing my concerns, but luckily I’m not currently taking applications for friends, so I think I will survive.

Don’t get me wrong—I am not an avid hater of Riverbend, I see where it has a lot of potential to be so much greater. For example, why must we be subjected to only the headlining music of geriatrics? Is there something in the headliner contract that states you must be over 60 to perform? Do we give out free oxygen tanks? Isn’t this a liability? I mean, what if a Commodore or a Wailer just falls out due to the Chattanooga heat and humidity? Seriously.

Why can’t we update our music selection? Go out on a limb, have a night for us crazy twenty-somethings.

You’ve already got a family night, so stop discriminating against those of us who might not have a collection of lawn chairs, might not go to concerts to sit down, and might have good taste in music. That being said, the lineup is not completely horrible. Willie Nelson is classic, even though he’s in the breath-away-from-death category.

People should probably get out and see him while they have a chance. I had heard rumors that Counting Crows would be headlining, which pleased me, as at least they are still making albums, but apparently that fell through, so we got Train. I don’t think that

“I mean, what if a Commodore or a Wailer just falls out due to the Chattanooga heat and humidity? Seriously.”

was an even swap. Adrian Belew from King Crimson is included, which is a nice touch. Dead Confederate is going to be playing. To that, I say hell yeah, and who is the musical mastermind responsible for comparing them to Neil Young and Lynyrd Skynyrd on the Riverbend web site? Have you ever listened to them? Geez. Land Camera, among other local goodness will be playing throughout, but I can wait and see them at JJ’s Bohemia.

For the most part, I know that most of us who are generally out supporting our local venues, restaurants and bars stay away from all the mess. I hate to sound like a crotchety old geezer, but it’s just too much of a zoo. The one day I make it a point to come out is for the Strut. It has a really nice feeling of community, the food is reason enough to attend, and we all know how much people love to drink in the street.

But I beg of you, Chattanooga, call off the dogs! The Strut isn’t as scary as we make it out to be. Is the SWAT team really necessary at the end, terrifying little kids and old people? Do monsters come out after dark? Are there zombies we need to know about?

Why not end it up with a New Orleans sweep?

Jen, from JJ’s Bohemia said it last year; let me reiterate it. It would be so much nicer if proprietors just came out with their brooms and swept people off into the street, signaling the night’s end. One of the high-school bands that Riverbend is so pleased to sponsor can be marching up the road playing and driving people out, instead of giving Grandma a heart attack and little Timmy nightmares with your SWAT shields and full arsenal. It’s only as good as you make it. www.chattanoogapulse.com 4.30.09 The Pulse

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MusicCalendar

Send your calendar events to us at calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Friday

Thursday Tim Lewis 6:30 p.m. Rumors, 3884 Hixson Pk. (423) 870-3003.

Robert Paulson, Between Two Seas, Buried With Children, Waste and Regret 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

The Felice Brothers with Willie Mason

Wayne Hightower 7:30 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898.

The Bohannons, Ghostfinger, Cuttlefish

Rhythm & Noon Concert Series: Metro Musicians Noon. Miller Plaza, 850 Market St. (423) 462-0771.

Odist, Slap Happy Retards 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 634-1074. www.myspace.com/ziggyshideaway

Bill Hackler Trio 7 p.m. Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant, 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538.

Lynam with Camp Normal 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

O Brother, Behold the Brave, Banvard, Never Like Home 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

Downstream 10 p.m. Bud’s Sports Bar, 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878. www.budssportsbar.com Oz & Jaynes 10 p.m. T-Bone’s, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

The band that records in a chicken coop shakes its folk/ rock tailfeathers.

The Felice Brothers with Willie Mason 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

We loves us some Bohannons and friends.

Wayne Hightower 7:30 p.m. Fireside Grill, 3018 Cummings Hwy. (423) 821-9898.

$10 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market Street. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

The Features, Glossary 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

$5 10 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

Seven Day Journery, Subconscious, Sum Ever After 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019.

Saturday

Fearful Symmetry Electronic synth out of Las Vegas No cover.

10 p.m.

Market Street Tavern, 850 Market Street.

(423) 634-0260. myspace.com/marketstreettavern

Monday The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Road, Suite #202.

(423) 499-5055. www.thepalmsathamilton.com Fireside Lounge 4021 Hixson Pike, (423) 870-7078.

Lucky’s 2536 Cummings Highway, (423) 825-5145.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike, (423) 266-1996. www.tremonttavern.com Blue Orleans Creole Restaurant 3208 Amnicola Hwy. (423) 629-6538. blueorleanscreolerestaurant.com

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Jay Storm and Jackson Moore 10 p.m. Market Street Tavern, 850 Market Street. (423) 634-0260.

Sunday Chattanooga Traditional Jazz Festival 10 a.m.- 1:30 a.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo. (423) 266-0944.

Open Mic hosted by Shaunessey Cargile 9 p.m. Mudpie Restaurant, 12 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9043.

Feed the Lions CD Release with This is Luke, Jordan Hallquist 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

The Dirty Guv’Nahs 10 p.m. Midtown Music Hall, 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 752-1977. www.midtownmusichall.com

The Short Bus, Extravaganza 7:30 p.m. Club Fathom, 412 Market St. (423) 757-0019.

Southern Culture on the Skids 10 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644.

The Southfrench Broads, Losers Beat Winners 8 p.m. Ziggy’s Hideaway, 607 Cherokee Blvd. (423) 634-1074.

Joe Jack Talcum, Bastards of Fate, ADD/C 10 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400.

David Mead 8 p.m. Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse, 105 McBrien Rd. (423) 892-3109.

Zan Teddy 10 p.m. T-Bone’s, 1419 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4240. www.tboneschattanooga.com

Tuesday

Wednesday

The Ben Friberg Trio 7 p.m. Table 2, 232 E. 11th St. (423) 756-8253.

Ben Friberg Jazz Trio 6:30 p.m. Market Street Tavern.

850 Market St. (423) 634-0260. myspace.com/marketstreettavern

Jimmy Herring Band featuring Otiel Burbridge & Jeff Sipe 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Poetry/Song/Art Open Mic 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge.

Boulder Acoustic Society, Amhurst 9 p.m. JJ’s Bohemia, 231 E. MLK Blvd. (423) 266-1400. www.myspace.com/jjsbohemia

For the Fallen Dreams, Sworn Enemy, Abbacabb, Thick as Blood, Suffocate, Sons of Cynics 7 p.m. The Warehouse, 5716 Ringgold Rd., East Ridge. www.myspace.com/warehousetn

Spoken Word/Poetry Night The Riverhouse, 224 Frazier Ave. (423) 752-0066.

Open Mic Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike (423) 266-1996.

The Pulse 4.30.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com

Cross Canadian Ragweed with Jonathan Tyler & The Northern Lights 9 p.m. Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. www.rhythm-brews.com

Chattanooga Traditional Jazz Festival 10:30 a.m.- 9 p.m. Chattanooga Choo Choo. (423) 266-0944. www.chattanoogajazzfestival.com Open Jam w/ Jeff Daniels 4 p.m. Ms. Debbie’s Nightlife Lounge, 4762 Hwy 58.

(423) 485-0966.

Carlos Colon & Tropical Swing Salsa on down to the Market and cha cha among the tomatoes.

No cover.

1:30 - 3:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market, First Tennessee Pavilion, 1826 Carter Street. (423) 648-2496. www.chattanoogamarket.com

Irish Music 6:30 p.m. Tremont Tavern, 1203 Hixson Pike. (423) 266-1996 Open Mic Gene’s Bar & Grill, 724 Ashland Ter. (423) 870-0880.

DJ GOP The Palms at Hamilton, 6925 Shallowford Rd #202.

(423) 499-5055

Editor’s Pick: Featured Event Of The Week

Cross Canadian Ragweed with Jonathan Tyler and The Northern Lights The hard-rocking Southern band has been described as “having red dirt under its fingernails.”

Thursday, April 30, $15, 9 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews, 221 Market St. (423) 267-4644. rhythm-brews.com

New Music Reviews

By Ernie Paik

Family Fodder

Umläut

More Great Hits!

(Jungle)

Umläut (Umläut/The Orchard)

In a better world (well, a more interesting one), the title of the overflowing 2-disc anthology of the band Family Fodder wouldn’t be a tongue-in-cheek joke. This group, formed by Alig Pearce (a.k.a. Alig Fodder) more than three decades ago, was never recognized outside underground circles and never had a real pop hit, on the level of tracks from fellow off-kilter weirdoes like Devo’s “Whip It” or the deadpan rendition of “Money” by Flying Lizards. What’s striking from listening to More Great Hits! is the sheer number of ideas and odd sounds being thrown around, making each track surprisingly busy and wholly distinct; although jumpy and inclined to not repeat themselves, the group crafted its own style, with several reoccurring undercurrents, like a catchy, irreverent pop approach, a Jamaican dub infusion, or an exhilarating momentum influenced by contemporaries (and collaborators) This Heat.

The hallmark of a hit is replayability, and that quality is abundant in this alternate-universe chart-topper, evident from the opening track “Savoir Faire”; it’s a vibrant, addictive song with irresistible sound-tugs and a great call-andresponse section between Dominique Levillain, singing in French, and a choir of clanging percussion. “Playing Golf” is endearingly twisted and deformed, with a playfully sinister tone, and it’s reminiscent of something the Residents might come up with, even down to the Snakefinger-esque distorted guitar parts.

Possibly the group’s best known song is “Debbie Harrry” (sic), a jittery number with nonsensical, staccato lyrics, and there’s even more Blondie affection (albeit slightly dubious) with a cheery, oddball cover of their track “Sunday Girls.” Other more high-minded adaptations include a dub reworking of an Erik Satie piece (“The Big Dig”) and a shadowy version of Franz Schubert’s “Der Leiermann.” Over two discs, More Great Hits! contains most of the 1980 album Monkey Banana Kitchen and selections from the 2000 reunion album Water Shed, along with a wealth of single tracks, unreleased songs, and rarities, and it’s ample proof of the brilliance of one of the most joyously imaginative groups of the post-punk era with an unrepentantly warped view of pop music.

The insane, ADD-afflicted, genre-defying California outfit Mr. Bungle made some of the most wild and adventurous albums released on a major label in the ’90s. Although the band is currently defunct, the band’s members have forged ahead with their own numerous efforts, including Peeping Tom (off-center hiphop/pop), Tomahawk (Native American metal), Fantômas (avant-metal), Trevor Dunn’s Trio Convulsant (avant-jazz), and the Middle-East-influenced Secret Chiefs 3. All of these efforts have at least a whiff of Mr. Bungle’s legacy to them, but now, it’s probably safe to say that the new debut album from Umläut carries the Bungle torch most prominently.

Umläut is the project of Clinton “Bär” McKinnon, who primarily played saxophone and reeds for Mr. Bungle and is now based in Melbourne, Australia.

Like with Mr. Bungle, a comprehensive list of influences and genres for Umläut would be impossible, abruptly going from metal to easy-listening tunes to cartoon music to Ennio Morricone Western soundtracks without warning. Even the wide range of moods heard on Bungle albums are captured on Umläut, from a twisted, disorienting circus-core to the Bizarro World Beach Boys pop, and McKinnon seems to be making no attempt to distance himself from the Bungle method, even having Mike Patton sing on the track “Atlas Face.” “Living the Dream” is a typically whimsical song, with harpsichord and mouth harp flourishes, going from a delicate flute intro to a metal-tinged ending.

The album is definitely a fun, varied listen, but despite some overloaded passages, like sax screeching on “Buttons,” it doesn’t quite have as many uncomfortably stimulating moments of Mr. Bungle’s best, nor is it as seemingly mentally unwell and damaged. It’s tight, meticulously assembled, and well recorded, and it is admirable for persistently wandering and darting from one point to another. The one constant with Mr. Bungle was unpredictability, but with Umläut, the genre shifts seem to be right on cue, causing the listener to expect the unexpected instead of being honestly surprised.

local news and views

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Free Will Astrology TAURUS (April 20-May 20): An engineering company has plans to grow flowers on the moon.

Paragon Space Development intends to land mustard seeds inside a small greenhouse dome on the lunar surface by 2011. If all goes well, they will bloom within two weeks, and, thanks to the marvels of communications technology, we Earthlings will soon thereafter view one of the most iconic photographs ever seen. Paragon hopes the inspiring image of yellow blossoms on the lunar landscape will incite a new wave of space exploration. Take your cue from this vignette, Taurus. Come up with a riveting new personal symbol: some photo or image or object that thrills your imagination and inspires you to outdo all your previous efforts in pursuit of an ambitious future goal.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “A Pain in the Ash: Volcano Irritates Alaskans.” That was the headline of a news story about how the people of Anchorage, Alaska are dealing with the erratic behavior of nearby Mount Redoubt. As of this writing, the volcano hasn’t exploded yet, but it keeps hinting that it might. Meanwhile, it regularly burps clouds of ash that float around and wreak a lot of inconvenience. “I would like it to have a big boom and get it over with,” said one native. In accordance with your astrological omens, Gemini, let’s use this situation as a metaphor for your life. The fact is, there’s no sense in getting irritated or impatient with the primal force in your vicinity. Doing so would be a waste of your precious emotional energy.

Besides, cultivating calm equanimity is the best way to acquire the grace you’ll need to respond appropriately when the primal force does go boom.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If His Holiness the Dalai Lama (like you, born under the sign of the Crab) had a Twitter account, I bet that this week he’d tweet something like this: “Nothing’s permanent and we should never be attached to anything, but wow!—the goodness rising up now may send ripples through eternity!” What he’d mean is that while reality is always in continual flux, and it’s wise not to cling obsessively to either its pleasures or sadnesses, the powerfully healing mojo that’s moving through Cancerians’ lives these days could have long-term positive consequences.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): America’s Republican Party has lost a lot of style points lately. Its national committee chairman Michael Steele even went so far as to say, “We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets.” Your reputation isn’t anywhere near as in need of rehabilitation, Leo—in part because you don’t make references about onearmed midgets—but it could still use some work. Fortunately, the coming weeks will be an excellent time, astrologically speaking, for you to not only tidy up your stature, but also to actually enhance your respectability and increase your influence. Take advantage!

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The coming weeks would be an excellent time to devote extra care and attention to your home-away-fromhome—you know, the place that’s second-best at making you feel like you truly belong here on this earth. Enhance the ambiance in this alternate power spot, Virgo. Add beauty to the decor. Let the people who hang out there know how much they mean to you. And if you don’t yet have such a sanctuary, then I suggest you hunt one down.

You need to experience more of the pleasurable stimulation that comes from going back and forth between two different comfort zones.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): You may not literally have X-ray vision right now, but you certainly have a metaphorical version of it. With a little concentration, I bet you could peer beneath the surface of anything you want to. My analysis of the omens suggests that you have the power to see hidden agendas, invisible frameworks, and maneuverings that are unfolding behind the scenes. Please keep in mind that not all of the secret stuff is corrupt or insidious. Some of it is quite beautiful, even elevating. Don’t push your

28

The Pulse 4.30.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com

By Rob Brezsny

enhanced perceptiveness to search exclusively for the worst in human nature.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to the legends of the Scottish Highlanders, this is the anniversary of the fallen angels’ expulsion from paradise. That’s why, they said, it was so crucial for humans to be well-behaved at this time. To blindly indulge in sin and error would set up a resonance with the malevolent exiles, making oneself vulnerable to being preyed on by them. While you and I can chuckle at this quaint superstition, it does have a grain or truth for you to meditate on. At this juncture in your yearly cycle, you tend to be more receptive to bad influences than usual. That’s why you should do everything you can imagine to attract good influences and cultivate experiences that give you the feeling that this world is a paradise.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): An Arizona woman was jogging in the woods when a fox ran out of nowhere, leaped up, and clamped down on her arm with its teeth. Unable to pry it loose, the woman ran back to her car, which was a mile away, with the fox hanging on. She drove herself to the hospital, where doctors removed the creature and treated her successfully. I imagine that right about now you might feel a bit like she did, Sagittarius: bustling along energetically, in a state of alert, as some nagging vexation clings to you parasitically. Now here’s the good news: I predict that you will get rid of the pest, and will ever thereafter enjoy an enhanced confidence in your ability to function well under pressure.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Since it’s the Capricornian season of romance, I thought I’d give you some tips on how to thrive in the mysterious, paradoxical, crazy-making game of love. 1. Love shouldn’t be a lottery, so don’t gamble on unlikely odds. 2. Love shouldn’t be a power struggle, so try to purge any unconscious yearnings you might have to control people you care for. 3. Love can’t be a self-sustaining perpetual motion machine, so I hope you work on it at least as hard as you do at your job. 4.

Love isn’t an endless vacation in the promised land, but neither is it a wrestling match with a three-legged pit bull from hell, so don’t you dare indulge in all-or-nothing fantasies.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The kitchen table will be a power spot for you in the coming weeks. Your own table will be a supreme vortex for visionary brainstorming, but even those in other households could be epicenters for brilliant planning, crucial shifts in attitude, and increased solidarity among allies. To encourage eruptions of creative behavior, make sure the tables are nice and clean. Try to have good food and drink on hand. I also suggest you keep at least one notebook and pen lying around.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): In April I was grateful whenever you obeyed all the signs, stuck to the beaten paths, worked a little harder than usual, and averted your eyes from the places where “interesting” bursts of chaos were unfolding. In May I’d appreciate it if you did pretty much the opposite: Question authority rigorously, wander off into less-traveled regions, play harder than usual, and tune in to commotions that could be productive learning experiences. In the past month, Pisces, I was hopeful that you’d pay your debts to society before society’s collection agency started making harassing calls. In the coming month, I invite you to ask everyone to do you extra favors.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do a little,” said the writer Sydney Smith.

While this is always good advice, it’s especially apt for you right now. You’re in a phase when giant leaps of faith are irrelevant, and fast, massive accomplishments are impossible. This is the season of incremental progress; a time when painstaking attention to detail is your best strategy. Inch by inch, Aries. Hour by hour.

Homework: What’s the best thing you could give right now to the person you care for the most?

JONESIN’

By Matt Jones

“Look Under The Cushions” –treasure where you least expect it.

Across 1 Sanders’ rank: abbr.

4 Takes in too much 7 Band box 10 QB’s scores 13 ___-male 14 Cut branches (off) 15 Wade’s opponent 16 Miner’s find 17 Dream up 19 Gas station with a blue and red logo 21 Quad City that’s home to the Mississippi Valley Blues Festival 23 “I found a ___, which blended into the beige. No way am I going to eat it.”

25 Be 26 Palm whose berries are now used in fruit juices 27 Punk offshoot 30 Dreyer’s ice cream, in the Eastern U.S. 31 Poultry dish with broccoli and cheese 36 Popeye’s love Olive 37 Bullfighting cheer 38 “So that’s where the ___ to this old pen went!”

39 Ballpark figure 42 Ongoing NYC tribute project where musicians cover the works of other musicians 45 You, in olden days 48 “Entourage” agent 49 “I’m rich! No, just kidding. It’s only a ___.”

50 “Amazing” magician famous for debunking

52 Briny bath additives 56 Rule that ended when Turkey became a republic 59 “Ew...all I found were the stale remnants of a ___.”

60 “The Wapshot Chronicle” author John 63 Part of mph 64 “Much ___ About Nothing” 65 Brain scan, for short 66 Record label with a “Manhattan” offshoot 67 “___ to Billie Joe” 68 TV chef Martin 69 Runnable computer file suffix 70 Ointment Down 1 Laurence Fishburne TV show 2 Physics unit 3 Item used to fasten planks, in old shipbuilding 4 1966 Gold Glove Award winner Tony 5 “Singin’ in the Rain” codirector Stanley 6 Go on a buying spree 7 With the bow, in music 8 Former “S.N.L.” actor Jay 9 Actress Holly Robinson ___ 10 Doughnut-shaped 11 “The ___ Chaperone” 12 French legislative bodies 18 Suffix for anatomical reproductive organs

20 Temptress 22 Went into a personal online chat, for short 23 Folded food 24 Stiff and sore 28 Karaoke bar eqpt.

29 Roundish 32 “Rock and Roll, Hoochie ___” (1974 hit) 33 Literary lioness 34 ___-do-well 35 G.I.’s address 39 Parent company of Popsicle and Skippy 40 They’re in charge of the bldg.

41 Tends to priority number one?

42 ___ a wild goose chase 43 Greet the judge 44 If ___ (Kenneth Cole shoe) 45 Allegro non ___ (lively, but not too lively, in music) 46 It’s far from love 47 Unabridged 51 Lance Bass headline, on a 2006 cover of People 53 Pageant host 54 ___ Twin (alias of electronic musician Richard D. James) 55 It may force a city to surrender 57 Alan of “M*A*S*H” 58 Brightly colored 61 It’ll never get off the ground 62 Messy morsel at a barbecue

©2009 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #0411.

Solution To Last Week’s Puzzle

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AskAMexican by Gustavo Arellano Dear Readers, As you drinko por Cinco this May 5th, please take this column around listing songs that mariachis will actually, gladly play instead of having to glumly strum through the umpteenth “La Bamba” and “Guantanamera.” The following eclectic choices (and reasoning) came from hundreds submitted by wabs and savvy gabachos; make sure to knock back the Herradura but por favor designate a nerd as your driver!

I say so?” “I want you to kiss other lips just to see how great I am in contrast?”

Perfect!

“Los Mandados” (The Errands): I could give you hundreds of songs for Drinko de Mayo festivities, but if a Wayfarer-sporting, American Apparelwearing, Elliott Smith-worshiping, Shepard Fairey-loving and oh-so-ironic gabacho wants to hear a mariachi play something subtly anti-gringo, they can ask for this.

“La Martina”: A great corrido by Antonio Aguilar about a young bride who cheats on her husband. She gets caught red-handed and tries to talk her way out of it. When her father refuses to do anything about it, her husband takes things into his own hands and empties his revolver into her. What else was the man to do?

“El Borracho” (The Drunk): Mariachis love it and the puto pendejos que comen en restaurantes mexicanos on Cinco de Mayo can no doubt remember the title.

“El Gavilán Pollero” (The Chicken Hawk): Years ago, our high school Spanish club used to sponsor “authentic” dinners out. One night, the mariachi played “El Gavilán Pollero” and one of the no-so-fluent students asked la profesora to translate la letra. Our teacher, blushing with embarrassment, actually told us the song was about a nasty chicken hawk who flew over a

“La Media Vuelta” (The Half-Turn): Is there a more supremely-confident, hypermacho, Mexican song out there?

“You’ll leave if I say so?” “You’ll stay if

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“No Volveré” (I Won’t Return): The counter balance to “Volver, Volver” (Mexican note: another mariachi standard). “I swear to you that I will never return, even if life tears me to pieces, if at one time I loved you like crazy you are now forgotten from my soul.” Beautiful and painful all at the same time.

The Pulse 4.30.09 www.chattanoogapulse.com

Ask the Mexican a question yourself via email at themexican@askamexican.net

barnyard terrorizing the newly hatched little chicks (Mexican note: Metaphors, amigo; song is about a guy who steals another guy’s girl). Now, whenever I hear the song, it makes me laugh so hard, Negra Modelo comes out my nose.

“El Son De La Negra” (The Song of the Black Woman): Its upbeat driving rhythms get me smiling really fast, even before the first margarita arrives. It’s pretty easy, and simple enough for a school mariachi to play.

“El Perro Negro” (The Black Dog): A man kills another man in his sleep, and the victim’s faithful dog avenges his owner’s death. The wife of the killer (who the victim admired) finds the two bodies, and buries them in a local cemetery. The dog follows his owner to his plot, and dies there.

“Sabor a Mi” (Taste of Me): Gringos will love this beautiful ballad, but talk about a little dirty! Favorite line, literally translated? “On your mouth, you will take a taste of me.” Research English translation only for laughs—it’s a perfect example of American influence sucking the passion from anything ethnic.

“Historia De Un Amor” (History of a Love): If the white folk do not get our true intensity by the following lines, “Adorarte para mí fue religión/Y en tus besos yo encontraba/El calor que me brindaba” (Adoring you was my religion/And in your kisses, I found/The heat that it offered), they never will.

“El Sinaloense” (The Sinaloan): It sounds like an entire group of high school band students are falling down a flight of stairs but that they are so dedicated to their craft that they keep right on playing as they fall. WARNING: Any mariachi who has asthma should not attempt this song.

“I Just Called to Say I Love You”: Yes, mariachis know it—and it sounds bad-ass.