The Pulse 13.52 » December 29, 2016

DECEMBER 29, 2016

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

COVER STORY

HELP On The

Highways HOW CHATTANOOGA’S HIGHWAYS ARE SAFER BECAUSE OF A SMALL GROUP OF DEDICATED DRIVERS

By Kevin Hale

HUNTER MUSEUM • NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE • AWESOMETOWN

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VOLUME 13, ISSUE 52 DECEMBER 29, 2016

CONTENTS 4 12

A GRAND RIVER GATHERING

The annual migration of hundreds of thousands of Sandhill Cranes from the Upper Midwest to Florida each winter is a sight the Audubon Society describes as “among the greatest wildlife spectacles on the continent.”

AN ARTS GEM OVERLOOKING THE TENNESSEE RIVER

Chattanooga’s own Hunter Museum is an extravagant building that is rich in history, architecture, and artistic flare.

20

ALEX VOLZ WELCOMES YOU TO AWESOMETOWN

Some artists talk a lot of talk without really producing much material. Some produce some stellar material, but only once every couple of years.

Some produce scads of material all the time, rarely bothering to separate the wheat from the chaff.

26

(GROUP) CRIME AND (SINGULAR) PUNISHMENT

One of the benefits of the Cine-Rama, Chattanooga’s art house theater now on hiatus as they attempt to find more permanent housing, was that they brought somewhat unknown films to a wider Chattanooga audience.

ALSO INSIDE

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Finding HELP on the Highways If you spend any time on the Tennessee Valley roadways, chances are you have seen the Tennessee Department of Transportation’s lime green HELP trucks smack dab in the middle of the mayhem assisting motorists.

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

5

CONSIDER THIS

25

DIVERSIONS

7

SUSHI & BISCUITS

27

NEW IN THEATERS

14

ARTS CALENDAR

28

THE LIST

15

NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE

28

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

22

MUSIC CALENDAR

29

JONESIN’ CROSSWORD

24

RECORD REVIEWS

30

MIXOLOGY

Kevin Hale is a freelance journalist and experienced internet and television marketer living in North Chattanooga.

He is currently working on his first how-to book, “A Million Ways to Market.” He also enjoys hunting Pokémon.

Free Will Astrology's Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 3

BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

A Grand River Gathering Eco-cruises offer views of thousands of migrating Sandhill Cranes

By Thom Benson

T BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Adam Beckett • Thom Benson Rob Brezsny • Kevin Hale Matt Jones • Mike McJunkin Tony Mraz • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib Stephanie Smith Editorial Intern Brandon Watson Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Rick Leavell Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez Logan Vandergriff • Joseph Yang

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St., Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2016 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

Tennessee Aquarium

HE ANNUAL MIGRATION OF hundreds of thousands of Sandhill Cranes from the Upper Midwest to Florida each winter is a sight the Audubon Society describes as “among the greatest wildlife spectacles on the continent.”

In Tennessee, the Hiwassee Wildlife Refuge is a stopping off point for the largest winter flock of Sandhill Cranes in the Southeast outside of Florida. For birding enthusiasts, it’s hard to beat the views of this magnificent gathering during a cruise around the island aboard the Tennessee Aquarium’s River Gorge Explorer.

Beginning Dec. 30 and continuing on weekends through Martin Luther King Day (Jan. 16), the River Gorge Explorer will embark on special eco-cruises to the refuge departing from Sale Creek Marina. Thanks to the proximity of the river channel to Hiwassee Island, these two-hour cruises offer guests one of the region’s best—and closest—views of these cranes.

“It’s a great way to get close to these birds,” said Kevin Calhoon, Tennessee Aquarium’s Assistant Curator of Forests.

“You get much better looks from the boat than you do from the observation area. It’s just a whole different way to view them.”

That so many Sandhill Cranes can be seen at once is a sign of their tremendous conservational success story. In the 1930s, the wild population of these elegant birds had dwindled to less than 1,000 individuals, a fact lamented by noted author and naturalist Aldo Leopold in his 1937 essay “Marshland Elegy.”

“When we hear his call we hear no mere bird,” Leopold wrote. “We hear the trumpet in the orchestra of evolution. He is the symbol of our untamable past, of that incredible sweep of millennia which underlies and conditions the daily affairs of birds and men.”

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Photo by Donna Bourdon

“This is really the only place where you can see them in Tennessee in any numbers, and the only place that you can get that nice of a view.”

From the River Gorge Explorer’s climate-controlled cabin, however, guests will be able to appreciate the Sandhill Crane’s current robustness via the astounding spectacle of an estimated 5,000 to 8,000 individuals gathered on the 400-acre island.

With a distinctively rattling, cacophonous call, Sandhill Cranes can be heard from miles away.

Up close, witnessing as 1,000 or more of the gray-bodied, crimsoncrowned beauties taking off in unison is a sight no birder should miss, Calhoon said.

“This is really the only place where you can see them in Tennessee in any numbers, and the only place that you can get that nice of a view,” he said. “That’s what makes it special.”

Although they’re the cruise’s star attraction, it’s not just Sandhill Cranes that entice wildlife lovers aboard the River Gorge Explorer each year. The trip up to and around Hiwassee Island includes sightings of the occasional Peregrine Falcon or Black Vulture, large numbers of Bald Eagles and thousands of ducks and geese of various species.

Sandhill Crane Cruises depart from Sale Creek Marina (3900 Lee Pike, Soddy-Daisy, Tenn.) at 10 a.m. and 2 p.m. on Dec. 30-31, Jan. 1, Jan. 6-8, and Jan. 13-16.

Cruise registration is $35 for Aquarium members and $45 for non-members. Tickets must be purchased in advance and are available online at tnaqua.org/sandhillcrane-cruises

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon

by Rob Rogers

“May we look toward the wisdom of those around us, young and old, and bask in their spirit, learn from their words, and follow in the steps they’ve left behind.” —Native American saying

Celebrating 88 Years Of Falling Ruby Water What would Leo Lambert and crew say about their discovery and naming of a majestic waterfall 88 years after they had found it?

Maybe you can share in that experience by following in the footsteps of the very explorers to the 1,120-ft. waterfall inside Lookout Mountain.

Ruby Falls is a beloved local attraction since going public in 1930.

Romantically immortalized in art and works of supernatural fiction (looking at you, Neil Gaiman), Ruby Falls has served as a beautiful spectacle and inspiration to thousands of people

from around the world annually.

This Friday Ruby Falls will celebrate its 88th anniversary. How will it do this?

By giving every visitor a vintage style postcard with a nifty flyer with little known facts about the cave. But that is not all: the first 88 visitors that show up will be able to take the tour at the original $2 fee.

Maybe Ruby Falls has been on your to-do list for some time or maybe a memorable outing with the family is due in order shake off the residual holiday panic.

If so then get online to get your tickets at rubyfalls.com and see what 88 years of natural wonder looks like.

— Brandon Watson

Well, here we are on the precipice of a new year. A great time for reflection of the past, and setting intentions for the future. What if this is your very best year ever? What if possibilities open like doors, allowing you to choose your direction, develop your passions, connect with new and exciting people? What will that be like?

A big part of moving forward onto all sorts of wonderful journeys is taking stock of the lessons we’ve learned so far. As we become wiser, so do our choices. As we breathe, reflect and ponder, we gain selfawareness—our most important navigation tool.

So, let’s pause to consider: what have you learned?

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

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FOOD & DRINK ∙ SUSHI & BISCUITS

It’s Not A Tradition, It’s A Sacrament New Year’s Eve in the South—Black-Eyed Peas, Greens, Hog Jowls

Mike McJunkin Pulse columnist

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VERY CARD-CARRYING SOUTHERNer knows that there are three things you must eat on New Year’s day—black-eyed peas, greens, and hog jowls. (Add a wedge of cast-iron skillet buttermilk cornbread and earn Buck Owens bonus points.) This meal is not negotiable, it is not optional, and its roots run deep through the red clay of Southern superstitions that we all stand firmly on every day. But on the first day of the new year, tradition, superstition and classic Southern flavors come together in one beautiful, delicious meal.

Black-eyed peas are the cornerstone of this classic Southern New year’s day meal therefore pinto beans, navy beans, or any other highfalutin legume may not be substituted. Black-eyed peas likely became a part of Southern New Year’s Day tradition during the Civil War when Union armies left behind piles of black-eyed peas because they thought they were cattle feed.

These abandoned peas allowed remaining Southerners to survive the winter and thus became “lucky.” Increase your chances for good luck throughout the year by eating exactly 365 peas. Because, you know... science.

When choosing your greens, collard, mustard, or turnip greens may be used, but fancy greens like kale or Swiss chard are for city folk and will not be tolerated. Why greens on New Year’s day? Because back when these traditions were first taking shape

they were one of the few edible plants that could survive Southern winters. Green also represents new beginnings and of course, good ole ‘Murican greenbacks. Prosperity is never color blind in the South.

Since a pig can’t turn its head to see backwards, pork is a perfect metaphor for looking ahead to the new year. Some folks try to argue that any cut of pork will do for the traditional Southern New Year’s Day meal, but those people are carpetbaggers and cannot be trusted. A true son or daughter of the South knows that only two parts of the sus domesticus are acceptable for this first meal of the year.

The best choice is the jowl, which is cured pork cheek that tastes like the best thick-cut bacon you’ve ever eaten. Second runner-up is the subcutaneous fat cut from under the skin of the back, commonly known as fatback and is typically just used to season the beans. Don’t try to put on airs and gussy up the meal with bacon or lean cuts of pork. You need that fat to ensure “fat” times for the coming year.

I can’t guarantee it will ensure prosperity or good health for the coming year, but here’s my recipe for New Year’s Day Soup of the South. It never hurts to be safe.

• 1/2 pound dried black eyed peas (To use canned beans, drain and rinse a 28 ounce can of black eyed peas. Skip step 1 and add beans to soup in step 4, simmering for 30 minutes instead of 1 hour.)

• Kosher salt • 4 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil • 8 ounces Italian sausage, removed from casing • 8 ounces of hog jowl, diced • 1 cup finely diced onion • 1/2 cup finely diced celery • 4 cloves garlic, minced • 1 tbsp fresh rosemary leaves, minced • 1 1/2 quarts chicken stock • 2 bay leaves • 1 bunch leafy greens such as turnip, mustard or collard, washed, trimmed, and roughly chopped (about 2 quarts) • black pepper Directions Place beans in a large bowl and cover with 3 quarts of water. Add 2 tablespoons kosher salt and let sit overnight at room temperature. (unless you’re using canned, then see above).

Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a large pan over medium-high heat.

Sauté the diced hog jowl until it starts to brown. Remove from the

pan and set aside.

Heat 2 more tablespoons of oil in the pan, add the sausage and cook, breaking it up as you go, until it starts to brown. Add onion and celery to the sausage and cook until softened. Add the garlic, rosemary, and cook for about 30 seconds.

Return the diced hog jowl to the pot along with the chicken stock and bay leaves.

Drain and rinse beans then add to the pot. Bring to a boil over high heat then reduce to a simmer and cook, stirring occasionally, until the beans are softened, about 1 hour.

Remove the bay leaves.

Blend 2 cups of soup (without the hog jowl) in a blender on high speed until smooth. Return to pot.

Add the greens and cook until tender. Season to taste with salt and pepper and serve.

Longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin is a native Chattanoogan currently living abroad who has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants. Join him on Facebook at facebook.com/SushiAndBiscuits

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COVER STORY

Finding Needed HELP On The Highways How Chattanooga’s highways are safer because of a small group of dedicated drivers

By Kevin Hale

I

Pulse contributor

F YOU SPEND ANY TIME ON THE TENnessee Valley roadways, chances are you have seen the Tennessee Department of Transportation’s lime green HELP trucks smack dab in the middle of the mayhem assisting motorists. It’s an emotional, stressful job that can be dangerous and even deadly. But these HELP Highway Response Operators do more than change tires and deliver the occasional baby. They are many times these first responders are called on for local drivers who desperately need their help.

The HELP Program wasn’t always around. It began in Knoxville and Nashville in June 1999.

Service began in Chattanooga and Memphis one year later. It was in those early days HELP manager Lacy Word says were some of the most exciting.

“Officials for the 2002 Winter Olympics Games in Salt Lake City thought so much of our program, they called us to assist them in traffic control for two weeks,” says Word. “Our team travels to this major international event, during the Rocky Mountain winter, and pulls it off without a hitch. It really got our program off to a great start.”

But it’s not so easy for these road warriors to become certified. Upon employment, HELP operators serve in the position of Highway Response Operator 1 for one year. Within that year, the operator is required to successfully complete the HELP training curriculum.

“Prior to the HELP operator’s assignment to a

permanent shift and route, the trainee must successfully complete the core curriculum and 120 hours of onthe-job training through the process of ride-alongs,” explains Jennifer A. Flynn, Community Relations Officer for TDOT. HELP operators go through a 60-hour First Responder Course and, after successful completion of the stateadministered certification examination, are certified as Tennessee Emergency Services First Responders.

“Essentially, operators are one step below an Emergency Medical Technician you would find in hospital ambulances,” points out Word.

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Other courses in the core curriculum include fire suppression, hazardous material first responder awareness, fire extinguisher training, incident management, special equipment training, traffic management at incident scenes, supporting other agencies, and proper use of vehicle equipment.

After long hours of intense on-the-job training, operators are armed with an arsenal of safety tools before heading out onto the highway.

Emergency medical equipment, traffic cones, traffic control signs, absorbent materials, emergency and work lights, and other incident management standards

COVER STORY are included on every lime green truck you see. The trucks are also equipped with gasoline, diesel fuel, and water. The directional arrow boards on top of the trucks can be raised from inside the truck, cutting down operators subjecting themselves to heavy traffic. HELP operators also carry two-way radios and cell phones.

“All this equipment means nothing if our operators aren’t properly trained and realize we are the front line in a statewide team,” says Word. “We work closely with the Tennessee Highway Patrol, local police departments, fire departments and emergency medical personnel.”

Being first on the scene, HELP operators are the ones who secure the scene and stabilize injured parties until other first responders arrive. “Frequently, our role will be to assist with traffic control while the lead agency, be it the THP, the Chattanooga Police Department or the Chattanooga Fire Department perform their investigation,” adds Word.

Proper investigation of the scene is vital to improve roadway safety, and can even come out of the worst tragedies.

On June 13th, 2013 Brandon Wilson, of Lawrenceburg, Indiana, and Deja Morris, of West Harrison, Indiana, died when a tractor-trailer plowed into the back of their car in a traffic jam along Interstate 24 near Murfreesboro. Congestion was due to the Bonnaroo Music Festival in Manchester.

As a result, TDOT commissioner John Schroer launched a program called “Protect the Queue.” Schroer wanted the program to stress the importance of protecting drivers caught in a traffic queue, or line, to all TDOT employees and partnering agencies. A training program on the most effective queue management techniques was launched. Since the start of TDOT’s “Protect the Queue” campaign, data gathered from July 2013 through December 2013 shows a 19 percent reduction in secondary incidents over the same period in 2012.

This equates to 20 fewer secondary incidents, and could represent four lives saved.

“This program is a no-brainer since motorists usually just slow down when they see

“State and local governments continue to work together to expand the capacity of transportation systems, but new infrastructure alone will not solve the problems associated with congestion.” a police car,” says Word. “Our trucks stationed before a traffic jam grab the attention of drivers and let them know to slow down to avoid additional problems.”

“Traffic congestion is a serious and growing problem in Tennessee, especially in the major metropolitan travel corridors,” says Floyd. “It’s really part of a bigger

picture and not just an inconvenience.”

The loss of time to commuters and truckers stuck in traffic is just the beginning. Consider the costs to businesses waiting for critical parts or supplies and those businesses waiting for associates and customers to arrive. Automobiles and trucks stuck in traffic conges-

tion add more pollutants to the air and waste energy. Traffic congestion causes traffic crashes, and traffic congestion aggravates road rage.

State and local governments continue to work together to expand the capacity of transportation systems, but new infrastructure alone will not solve the problems associated with congestion. continued on page 10

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COVER STORY

Research has found two statistics that stand out when talking about highway congestion: 60 percent of all freeway congestion is non-recurring and 20 percent of all freeway crashes are secondary.

The non-recurring congestion includes traffic caused by incidents such as wrecks, debris in the road and disabled vehicles. This traffic is not because of limited highway capacity.

The secondary crashes occur when the roadway is blocked by an earlier, primary incident.

In other words, more than half of all backups occur on highway sections where roadway capacity is adequate under normal circumstances. Furthermore, one out of five freeway crashes happens after a previous incident that is still disrupting traffic flow.

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quick clearance of highway incidents. The HELP Program is probably the most visible result.

“We are first on the scene and in turn deal with some emotional situations,” adds Word. “We see the good and the bad. But at the end of the day it is all worth it. I love helping people who need our guidance, be it a local driver or a visitor from out of state.”

Every day, Word gets a different perspective from the rest of the motoring public.

“Our four state transportation centers are the backbone of the operation,” says Word. “Highway cameras are tied into a database so we can push any current roadway threats out to motorists. This includes our partnership with Google and any traffic information you see through their app.”

But there are things motorists can do before anyone shows up on the scene. According to Tennessee law,

COVER STORY when an accident occurs with no personal injury or death, the driver of each vehicle involved should remove the vehicle from the roadway whenever the move may be done safely and the vehicle is capable of being driven normally.

This is part of the TDOT SmartWay plan to address traffic congestion issues. TDOT has placed signs along the state’s interstate system and other access-controlled highways reminding motorists to move their damaged vehicles to the shoulder if no serious injury has occurred.

“This goes against popular thinking when an accident happens,” says Flynn. “Most motorists think you should not move your vehicle no matter what. But under state law, drivers should go ahead and get out of the way and wait for police

“Throughout Tennessee, we have had HELP Operators injured and killed in the line of duty. When people see a HELP truck stopped on the highway, they should pay attention to it and give the truck and the operator some space.” after a so-called fender-bender.”

Word is in favor of any law that improves safety. He has seen the HELP program come a long way since it started 16 years ago. But he can’t forget the job has its tragic side.

“We lost an operator in 2011 while he was in the line of duty,” remembers Word. He is referring to Robert Nowicki, who died while working a stretch of I-55 in West Memphis.

“At the end of the day, this remains

a dangerous job,” seconds Flynn.

“Throughout Tennessee, we have had HELP Operators injured and killed in the line of duty. When people see a HELP truck stopped on the highway, they should pay attention to it and give the truck and the operator some space.”

Flynn says you should always yield to a HELP truck just as you would to other emergency vehicles. Also, you should be aware that HELP trucks make frequent stops. Be especially careful to keep a safe

following distance.

HELP services are provided without charge, and HELP operators do not accept tips. Operators give postagepaid comment cards to each motorist who receives assistance, and encourage motorists to fill out and mail the card as soon as possible after the incident.

“This is probably the most rewarding part of the job,” Word says referring to the thankfulness of drivers.

“People are just blown away when we are there in their time of need.”

But one particular story sticks with Word to this day.

“I’m refueling a truck and out of the blue a guy comes up and says, ‘You probably don’t remember me, but a few years back you were like an angel from heaven.’ Those unexpected words of gratitude reinforce how important our job is out there.”

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

A Gem Overlooking The Tennessee River The Hunter Museum is a Chattanooga treasure

Kick Off 2017 With Some Big Laughs For many people, 2016 was pretty bleak. But there is absolutely no reason why the new year can’t start off with some laughs, and the best way to get in a feel good place is with a night of comedy improv at Barking Legs Theater.

To start the 2017 schedule, the First Monday Improv Comedy at Barking Legs Theater will launch this Sunday at 8 p.m. Just in time to have nursed that hangover and completely forget about those resolutions made last year.

Even better, First Monday Improv Comedy will perform for the first of every month until December.

If you know a bit about improv comedy shows in Chattanooga it is best to expect the unexpected, especially if the venue is Barking Legs. Barking Legs Theater is a great place to catch some fun and fresh local talent, from comedians, poets, and musicians.

So if that New Year’s Eve party is still ringing in the ears and the hair of the dog hasn’t bitten twice, head on out to hit that funny bone with something different and original.

Catch First Monday Improv Comedy this Sunday night at Barking Legs Theater. Doors open at 7:30, $8 cash or card for tickets, PG-13 show, free parking, and cash only concessions. — Brandon Watson First Monday Improv Comedy Sunday, 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 www.barkinglegs.org 12 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Adam Beckett Pulse contributor

C

HATTANOOGA’S OWN HUNTER MUseum of American Art is an extravagant building that is rich in history, architecture, and artistic flare. Although the building alone is worth marveling over with the imaginative nature of its architecture, the inside of the building holds some of the finest art known to mankind.

The Hunter Museum stands tall on an eightyfoot high bluff that is nestled on the edge of

the Tennessee River, making it nearly impossible for people to miss its artsy glory. Due to its position in the city, visitors of the museum can witness panoramic views that are nothing short of breathtaking. The river, mountains, and cityscapes all collide to stun those that take the time to experience it.

Some of the finest rotating art exhibits in existence ensure that the Hunter Museum gets to display their fine art, and they have had some extraordinary exhibits come through the doors, however, the permanent collection, and the activities that they hold to boost the local art scene

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“This is far more than an art museum, or a place to take children on school field trips. This is a mystical facility that allows people to unleash their imagination, to explore creative pathways, to interact with fellow artists” is a tremendous aspect of this world class art museum found in our backyard.

The Hunter Museum’s extensive and élite permanent collection consists of much more than just paintings. The Hunter Museum focuses on American Art from the Colonial period to the present day.

The collection includes paintings, works on paper, sculptures, photography, mixed media, furniture, and contemporary studio glass; meaning that there is something for everybody. Even those among us that lack appreciation for the arts can still get sucked into a historical vortex, and whisk away to a magical place in time.

According to their website, the mission of the Hunter Museum is to “engage the diverse audiences in active dialogues

about the importance, meaning, and relevance of American Art through preservation, growth, and interpretation.” They believe that art and creativity are forces for personal growth, and positive community change. They want to create a cultural hub for Chattanooga.

If creating a cultural hub for local Chattanoogan’s and their visitors is the overall goal for the Hunter Museum, then they have succeeded far beyond imagination. Events that bring likeminded people together with music events, lectures, and discussions.

Some of the scheduled events for 2017 are a New Year’s Eve: Party on the Bluff, Artful Yoga: The Shining Promise of the New Year, River City Sessions and the Spirit of Forest, Homeschool Workshop, The Art of Breathing, Cocktails in Color: Love American Style. These are just the tip of the iceberg; the museum does a fabulous job of hosting intriguing and noteworthy events throughout the

year.

This is far more than an art museum, or a place to take children on school field trips. This is a mystical facility that allows people to unleash their imagination, to explore creative pathways, to interact with fellow artists.

This is a place to go to witness live music events, to take dates in order to learn about their depth, to take families to bond and further understand that we have been here for a very long time, and that we all have the capability to allow it to pour from us.

You don’t have to be rich, or famous, or special, or talented to create art. Let it pour from your being, and maybe one day, people can try to interpret the beauty of what was once inside of your heart and mind, while creating wholehearted artwork that sits inside of the museum. That is the goal of the museum, to help inspire people to let it pour from them.

Get involved with this local gem; you will not be disappointed that you did.

THU12.29 Enchanted Garden of Lights

It's the final weekend for one of Chattanooga's favorite holiday experiences.

8 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

FRI12.30 River Gorge Explorer Sandhill Crane Cruises

Get up close with nature in this exciting and inforrmative journey down the river.

10 a.m., 2 p.m.

Sale Creek Marina 3900 Lee Pike (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org

SAT12.31 New Year’s Eve Late Skate at Ice on the Landing

Looking to do something different on New Year's Eve? 11 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 265-0771 iceonthelanding.com

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Splash & Bubbles

THURSDAY12.29 Backstage Pass River Journey 11:15 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Secret Ocean 3D Noon, 2, 4 p.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com St. Elmo Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:30, 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com David Scott 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch

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1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

FRIDAY12.30 Ruby Falls Discovery Day 8 a.m.

Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com River Gorge Explorer Sandhill Crane Cruises 10 a.m., 2 p.m.

Sale Creek Marina 3900 Lee Pike

(800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Special Screening of Splash & Bubbles 10:30 a.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax 3rd Street Farmers Market 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. lookoutfarmersmarket.com Backstage Pass River Journey 11:15 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Secret Ocean 3D Noon, 2, 4 p.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre

PULSE SPOTLIGHT: DAVID SCOTT The Midnight Swinger combines the style and cool of a ’60s Las Vegas performer with the flash and excitement of a 21st century Super Bowl halftime extravaganza.

David Scott The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:30, 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com David Scott 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

SATURDAY12.31 (Note: See The NYE Guide for holiday event listings) River Gorge Explorer Sandhill Crane Cruises 10 a.m., 2 p.m.

Sale Creek Marina 3900 Lee Pike (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Northside Farmers Market 10 am.

Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497

The Pulse New Year's Eve Guide WHERE TO GO, WHO TO SEE, WHAT TO DO SAFE & FUN DRINKING ADVICE FOR NEW YEAR'S EVE

THE PULSE • NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 15

NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE 2016

Drinking Advice For New Year's Eve A how-to guide to “party hearty” on the booziest of holiday nights

By Stephanie Smith Pulse contributor

N

EW YEAR’S EVE IS HERE again. Everybody drinks something. Even if you don’t partake of alcoholic beverages, you’re the shopper in the grocery buying sparkling cider. It’s a time of celebration—watching the ball drop on Times Square, remembering the good times in 2016 and looking ahead to that first second after midnight when you’re kissing in the New Year…and drinking in the possibilities.

It’s just as important to take care of yourself and be safe as it is to have a good time. Know the rules of alcoholic chemistry before you drink, have fun, then recover as gracefully as possible with these tips. Trust me—you’ll thank me for this later.

FOLLOW THE RULES Eat something while you drink. Keep that stomach full to absorb the alcohol. Choose quality drinks and the lighter the better. Vodka is a better choice than whiskey. Order the right way. Some people say this rhyme is

a myth, but try to stick to it: “Liquor before beer, never fear. Beer before liquor, never sicker.”

Alternate and quantify what you’re drinking. Drink virgin beverages with seltzers and juices in between alcoholic beverages. And drink less than one drink per hour because that is as fast as your liver can keep up with you. Hydration is the key—water will be your best friend before the sun rises.

HEED THE REBELLION All that being said, I know you’re gonna go out and have a good time without thinking about the consequences. After all, rules are made to be broken, right? May the Force be with you.

If you’re hosting a party, consider making a punch to keep the spirits flowing and save the wallet. Beers are also a cheap way to go. But if you’re all in for the liquor, keep in mind the quanity rule and have an assortment of mixers and someone manning the bar to keep everyone in check.

Finally, have sense enough to live to party another day. Please use a designated driver. Period. End of discussion.

RIDE THE ROAD TO RECOVERY So it’s the next day and, predictably, you drank too much. You wake up with the hangover to end all hangovers. How do you recover? Conventional wisdom says to go back to the rules—eat plain scrambled eggs and bananas, hydrate with water and coconut water, and take Vitamin C and aspirin. Also, sleep and avoid caffeine, especially coffee, as that will dehydrate you more. These natural remedies will surely help to stop the world from spinning.

On the other hand, some people say

16 • THE PULSE • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

fight fire with fire. Most scientific researchers say it doesn’t really work, but for many people, a little bit of alcohol in the morning seems to help. If you do go this route, science be damned, start with the basics. Try a Red Eye or Ojo Rojo, the Mexican hangover cure.

There are many recipes but the general concept is to fill a shaker with ice, add tomato juice and beer, and mix. Pour into a glass. Add a splash of Worcestershire, and, if you’re feeling brave, one raw egg. Hold your nose, drink, and vow never to repeat the experience again!

And drink water. Lots of water.

NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE 2016

WHERE TO GO, WHO TO SEE, WHAT TO DO New Year’s at Noon 10 a.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Zoo Year’s Eve 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1319 chattzoo.org New Year’s Early Bird Cruise 4 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy., Pier 2 (423) 266-4488 chattanoogariverboat.com OddStory Brewing Co.’s New Year’s Party 5 p.m.

OddStory Brewing Company 336 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 682-7690 oddstorybrewing.co New Year’s Eve YogaDance Party 5:30 p.m.

Movement Arts Collective 3813 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 401-8115 movementartscollective.com New Year's Eve VIP Event 6 p.m.

Ceniza Cigar Lounge 9454 Bradmore Ln. (423) 760-4198 cenizalounge.com Wonderland New Year’s Eve Party 7 p.m.

The Dwell Hotel 120 E. 10th St. (423) 267-7866 thedwellhotel.com New Year’s Rockin’ Eve Party 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. (423) 266-5000 choochoo.com New Years at The Palms 8 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. (423) 499-5055 thepalmsathamilton.com New Year’s Dinner Train 8 p.m.

Tennessee Valley Railroad 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-8028 tvrail.com Love, Peace & Happiness 8 p.m.

The Venue 4119 Cummings Hwy. (423) 994-2272 thevenuechattanooga.com New Year’s Eve Celebration 8 p.m.

The Chattanoogan Hotel 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 424-3700 chattanooganhotel.com “Wild in the Winter” with Convertibull 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001

chattanoogaconventioncenter.org New Year’s on the River 9 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy., Pier 2 (423) 266-4488 chattanoogariverboat.com NYE: Party On The Bluff 9 p.m.

Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Juicy J ft. Dougie F & PPR Panda 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. (423) 521-2929 track29.co Baby Baby and SoCro 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-1400 jjsbohemia.com Marsha Morgan & The Prime Time Players 9 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 424-3775 chattanooganhotel.com Kreamy ‘Lectric Santa, Mudsex and Coma Vigil 9 p.m.

Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 265-8711 ziggysbarandgrill.net

Danimal Planet and The Communicators 9 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. (423) 362-8335 clydesonmain.com Jerry Fordham 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Remembering January 10 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery & Restaurant 2 Aquarium Way (423) 708-8505 puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Gino Fanelli 10 p.m The Social 1110 Market St. (423) 266-3366 publichousechattanooga.com Cutlass Cult 10 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy.

(423) 468-4192 thehonestpint.com The Velcro Pygmies 10 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co New Year’s Eve Late Skate at Ice on the Landing 11 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. iceonthelanding.com

THE PULSE • NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • 17

18 • THE PULSE • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • NEW YEAR'S EVE GUIDE • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

Secret Ocean 3D St. Alban’s Hixson Market 10 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 Backstage Pass River Journey 11:15 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Secret Ocean 3D Noon, 2, 4 p.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax North Pole Limited Train Rides 5:30, 7:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Grand Junction 4119 Cromwell Rd. (423) 894-4028 tvrail.com David Scott 7:30, 10 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Enchanted Garden of Lights 8 p.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. (706) 820-2531 seerockcity.com

SUNDAY1.1 River Gorge Explorer Sandhill Crane Cruises 10 a.m., 2 p.m.

Sale Creek Marina 3900 Lee Pike (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Backstage Pass River Journey 11:15 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Secret Ocean 3D Noon, 2, 4 p.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax David Scott 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY1.2 Backstage Pass River Journey 11:15 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Secret Ocean 3D Noon, 2, 4 p.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax Red Bank Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Red Bank United Methodist Church

3800 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com First Monday Improv Comedy 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

TUESDAY1.3 Backstage Pass River Journey 11:15 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Secret Ocean 3D Noon, 2, 4 p.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax East Brainerd Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Audubon Acres 900 N. Sanctuary Rd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Rocky Dale Davis 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

WEDNESDAY1.4 Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Backstage Pass River Journey 11:15 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Secret Ocean 3D Noon, 2, 4 p.m.

IMAX 3D Theatre 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax Main Street Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Drinking Liberally 6 p.m.

Southside Social 1818 Chestnut St. (423) 708-3280 thesouthsidesocial.com Wednesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com Improv Chattanooga 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 19

MUSIC

Alex Volz Welcomes You To Awesometown Music for kids that can (and should) be enjoyed by adults

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

Catch A Rising Star at Puckett’s Grocery Prepare your ears for some sweet indie music this Friday night at Puckett’s Grocery and Restaurant featuring local musician Courtney Holder.

Kicking off at 9 p.m., enjoy some bluesy indie tunes that will set the mood between that sweet spot of classic Bob Dylan with the gypsy spirit of Stevie Nicks. Courtney will be playing original music with local guitarist Ryan Hitt from the band Stereo Dig, perhaps sprinkling a cover or two just for fun.

Courtney Holder carries a smooth seductive tune with her own brand of acoustic rhythms that promises to offer a cool, easy-listening vibe for the evening. Courtney is a 19-year-old Chattanooga native that was encouraged to pursue music by her dad to take her poetry and singing talent to the next level.

“Seeing Stevie Nicks performing ‘Gypsy’ live is what started me on this dream to make singing and songwriting a full-time career.” Courtney said.

With her amazing playlist of original tunes, she is sure on her way to the top of musical stardom.

Head over to Puckett’s this Friday to show her some local love, and also check out her playlist at courtneyholdermusic.com — Brandon Watson Courtney Holder Friday, 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery and Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way (423) 708-8505 www.puckettsgro.com/chattanooga 20 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

S

OME ARTISTS TALK A LOT OF TALK without really producing much material.

Some produce some stellar material, but only once every couple of years. Some produce scads of material all the time, rarely bothering to separate the wheat from the chaff.

Then there are those rare few who somehow manage to consistently produce great material so often and so seemingly effortlessly (seemingly being the keyword there) that you start to wonder which crossroads they visited late at night to make it all possible.

Alex Volz is one of these and his newest album is fresh, original, well-conceived and wellproduced and ready for consumption before the dust from his last album, equally superb, has even settled.

All jokes about crossroads and midnight meetings aside, Volz is one of the most talented and prolific songwriters I know and the only reasonable explanation is that the man never ever stops writing. It’s a painful lesson for those of us who kneel at the altar of procrastination, but it’s the truth.

There is no magical explanation. Alex Volz works hard, and often, and is the best at what he does and honestly, that’s so much more wonderful than any notion of secret deals or magical guitars or elves sneaking in to the studio at night to lay tracks while Alex snoozes in the corner.

His work is geared towards young folk, but unlike much of the material in that genre, his is very cleverly written and is a great deal of fun to listen to no matter what your age. This latest album, Welcome to Awesometown is no exception. And while I mean to delve in to the album itself, I feel compelled to say a little more about

Alex first.

You see, Alex is a phenomenally gifted performer and writer and as such he could turn that prodigious talent in any direction he chooses. He could ride whatever the latest trend of progressive bluegrass/jazz fusion/West African worldbeat music or whatever the kids are raving about these days, and he’d be a smashing success, but instead he focuses on music for children and the man deserves a medal for it.

Not many people get famous for children’s music, there isn’t a whole lot of recognition or kudos or even much attention at all paid to the

MUSIC

“His work is geared towards young folk, but unlike much of the material in that genre, his is very cleverly written and is a great deal of fun to listen to no matter what your age.” genre, but Alex knows that cliché or not, children are the future and by creating music for them that is every bit as sophisticated as any of the more adult-themed material in the world, he is instilling in them a love for well-written material that will stay with them through their teens on in to adulthood.

Alex doesn’t talk down to kids, nor does he rely on mindlessly repetitive fluff. “Lemmings” is a whimsical track about peer pressure. “Gentle Man” is a touching reimagining of the Skynyrd classic “Simple Man” that is a far better collection of life lessons about being kind and decent to people and one of my personal favorites. “Megladon” is a playful primer on everything you ever wanted to know about prehistoric sharks.

“Opposite Man” is one of the more complex themes on

the album, a look at why some mean people act mean, a gentle reassurance that most people just long for love and deal with that longing in sometimes contradictory ways. The tune is as relevant to grown-ups as children and further establishes the charm, wit, intelligence and caring that goes in to Volz’s music.

The album is currently available on Bandcamp via Alex Volz, and the man himself will be performing at Granfalloon on Saturday, January 7th. More details are available at the Granfalloon website.

I’ve written about Alex a number of times and every single time have come away more and more impressed with what he does and why he does it. Simply put, Volz is a treasure and whether you have children or not, you will find much to love about his work.

That being said, it would be a crime, if you do have little ones, to deprive them of exposure to this smart, funny man and his thoughtful, beautiful music.

Guilty Feet Have Got No Rhythm Remembering a pop superstar who changed the game One of my very first jobs in high school was working as a stock clerk for supermarket. Twice a week, there was a big “truck delivery” that needed to be sorted into stacks for each section of the store.

In addition, the big cardboard boxes all the merchandise came in had to be cut open.

Being a teenager, I was relegated to "carry cut-open boxes to the appropriate stack" duty while an older clerk, wielding a box cutter like a master sushi chef, handled the slicing duties.

During the winter of 1984, the head cutter would play three cassettes on his boombox over and over again, timing his cuts to the beat of the songs. One of those albums was WHAM's Make It Big. And to this day, I cannot hear "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go", "Careless Whisper", "Freedom" or "Everything She Wants" without thinking about groceries.

Yeah, we all have weird associations with music, especially the music we listened to in our teens when all music seemed so much more important than just about anything. But there was more to it than just groceries; during that winter I learned, basically through musical osmosis, what it takes to write and create a really good song.

Not a "pop" song, though the four I mentioned were extremely popular (and the album itself has sold well in excess

of seven million copies worldwide), but a really "good" song. For these songs were the creation of one of the most sublimely talented musicians to come out of the early-'80s: George Michael.

So when I heard the news over the weekend that George had passed on unexpectedly, it hit me harder than I had expected. Prince's death earlier this year was hard to take, and I'm still not over the loss of David Bowie. But George was personal. The endless listenings on Make It Big started me on a musical path of appreciation of craftsmanship that forced me to look beyond my musical comfort zone.

George Michael made me a fan of good music. And for that alone, I will never forget him. Or his music.

— Michael Turner

THU12.29

FRI12.30

SAT12.31

James Crumble Trio

Gillian Welch

Danimal Planet and The Communicators

Looking for a little class while having a nice meal?

You can't go wrong with this talented trio, perfect for a romantic night out.

6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com

Keeping the tradition of American folk music alive and well into the 21st century, Gillian is a national treasure.

8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com

Ring in the New Year with a look back at the glory days of the '90s with one high-energy show!

9 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 21

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

CBDB

THURSDAY12.29 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Rick Rushing Blues Jazz N’ Friends 6 p.m.

Bluewater Grille 224 Broad St. bluewaterchattanooga.com Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m.

Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m.

Motley’s 320 Emberson Dr. (706) 260-8404 Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m.

Feed Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Open Mic with Hap Henninger 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

22 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

FRIDAY12.30 Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Gillian Welch 8 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com

Marsha Morgan & The Prime Time Players 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com The Hopeful Country Band 8:30 p.m.

Motley’s 320 Emberson Dr. (706) 260-8404 CBDB, Caney Village 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Live Music 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Courtney Holder 9 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery

SPOTLIGHT: NEW YEAR'S EVE This is the part of the music calendar where we usually pick a cool band or performer to spotlight. The problem we have this week is there are so many to choose from just on New Year's Eve... and we can't decide on which one to feature. So, we are going to pick them all! Just go have fun!

and Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Universal Sigh 10 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Mic Larry 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com VooDoo Slim 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY12.31 Eddie Pontiac 6 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Katie and John Gaiser

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Juicy J 7 p.m.

The Dwell Hotel 120 E. 10th St. thedwellhotel.com Convertibull 8 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. chattanoogaconventioncenter.org Love, Peace & Happiness 8 p.m.

The Venue 4119 Cummings Hwy. thevenuechattanooga.com The Hopeful Country Band 8:30 p.m.

Motley’s 320 Emberson Dr. (706) 260-8404 Juicy J ft. Dougie F 9 p.m.

Track 29 1400 Market St. track29.co Baby Baby and SoCro 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Marsha Morgan & The Prime Time Players 9 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 S. Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Kreamy ‘Lectric Santa, Mudsex and Coma Vigil 9 p.m.

Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbarandgrill.net Danimal Planet and The Communicators

9 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Jerry Fordham 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Remembering January 10 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery & Restaurant 2 Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com/chattanooga Gino Fanelli 10 p.m The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Cutlass Cult 10 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com The Velcro Pygmies 10 p.m.

Revelry Room 41 Station St. revelryroom.co Mic Larry 10 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com VooDoo Slim 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SUNDAY1.1 Open Mic with Jeff Daniels

6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775

MONDAY1.2 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com Open Mic Night 6 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com

TUESDAY1.3 Tom Cordell Trumpet Improv Ensemble 6 p.m.

Spring Hill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com

Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

WEDNESDAY1.4 Charley Yates 5 p.m.

American Legion Post #95 3329 Ringgold Rd. americanlegionpost95.org Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com Joel Clyde 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 Open Jam 8 p.m.

Raw Dance Club 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Prime Cut Trio 9 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 23

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

Jeff Crompton Trio, The Magnetic Fields

Jeff Crompton Trio Magic Word (Southern Crescent)

ALTHOUGH ATLANTA saxophonist/composer Jeff Crompton has been at it for over 30 years, it seems like lately he has been particularly unstoppable; among his most recent accomplishments are the outstanding 2014 album Snake Nation from his Edgewood Saxophone Trio, his solo “Tutwiler Depot” 7-inch vinyl from last year, his project with Chattanooga poet Laurie Perry Vaughen entitled “Billie Holiday on the Radio,” and his adventurous and often challenging “Creative Music in Hapeville” music performance series.

His excellent new release Magic Word continues that streak in the jazz realm, created with two Chattanoogans— double bassist Evan Lipson and percussionist Bob Stagner—as the Jeff Crompton Trio.

In a way, this album spans Crompton’s creative life, with several of his compositions from the ‘80s and others that were written just before the recording session. Tracks like “October Song” and “Magic Word” sport memorable and infectious head melodies that exude a playfulness, channeling the spirit of, say, Ornette Coleman in the ‘60s.

Stagner, a co-founder of the free improvisation group Shaking Ray Levis, adopts an urgent free bop style that sometimes

24 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

evokes the fluidity and dynamics of Tony Williams, and Crompton seems to sculpt every note with care, with an inclination to inject a little bending flair when he glides between notes, reminiscent of what one might hear a New Orleans jazz clarinet play.

Lipson, a member of several free improv groups including Wrest and Psychotic Quartet, uses that background when playing his idiosyncratic, restlessly inventive, genre-busting solos that push the album far beyond the jazz idiom.

Two numbers are completely improvised with explosive creativity, on which the trio darts between free jazz and free improv eccentricities, including bass string scrapes and swift drumstick clicks, suggesting scampering movements.

Magic Word has a healthy mix of styles—“The Death of Reason” starts out sporting a funk rhythm, while “Big Nine Blues” offers a cool and poised swagger from Crompton, adorning his melodies with expertly executed ornaments. The smoky balladry of “What We Are Now” is another highlight, where everything is exposed with nothing to hide behind, and Crompton’s tone is practically flawless, with a tendency to hold each note steady until applying vibrato at the right moment for the optimum emotional effect.

Typically, one might expect a jazz album of this caliber coming from New York or Chicago rather than the South, and it tackles jazz with vigor delivered with deliberate, nuanced energy, with ample opportunities to fly off into the stratosphere.

A FRIEND WHO SHALL remain nameless once said to your humble narrator/reviewer, “I’ve never loved anything as

The Magnetic Fields The Wayward Bus / Distant Plastic Trees (Merge)

much as you love The Magnetic Fields.” A few years ago, when asked to compile a “favorite albums” list, this writer put Distant Plastic Trees—the first Magnetic Fields album, originally released 25 years ago—at the number one position.

Merge Records has recently remastered and released Distant Plastic Trees and the second album The Wayward Bus on vinyl for the first time ever, packaged together; these are albums that this writer knows by heart—all the lyrics, all the notes. Still, he admits to feeling giddy and shivery when hearing these songs on vinyl, with all its crackles and surface noise, simply because it’s a different experience than the digital one with which he’s so familiar.

The songwriter and main force behind the operation, Stephin Merritt, himself described Distant Plastic Trees as “intentionally small” and the Magnetic Fields as playing “bubblegum and experimental music and nothing in between.” The pop side is felt on The Wayward Bus with several electro-pop tributes to Phil Spector’s girl-group material using synth-heavy arrangements that embrace artificiality plus cello and tuba counterpoint.

As for the “experimental” side, Distant Plastic Trees has a number of odd details and approaches, like the bizarre “Kings” (originally a song by the pre-Magnetic Fields band The Zinnias) with heavily treated digital piano, white noise blasts and surreal lyrics, such as “Whale embryos filled your enormous room”; note that the band name “The Magnetic Fields” was taken from the title of a classic French surrealist book.

Taking inspiration from the band Young Marble Giants, Distant Plastic Trees also has several moments of stunning simplicity, like the second-person narratives “Josephine” and “Smoke Signals” that have a delicate intimacy and strippeddown arrangements.

These albums are unique in the Magnetic Fields catalog for being the only ones featuring lead singer Susan Anway—the former vocalist of the postpunk band V—whose versatile, angelic voice can deliver over-the-top-depressing lyrics unflinchingly.

“100,000 Fireflies,” an early indie-pop “hit” for the group, contrasts bleak pessimism (“You won’t be happy with me / But give me one more chance / You won’t be happy anyway”) with bright, ringing piano chords. Her faux, exaggerated Southern accent on “Tar-Heel Boy” helps form an unusual amalgam of comedy and tragedy, with lyrics about murder and child sweatshop labor.

There’s a lot of music that we may like, but how much of it is music that we truly love?

We feel lucky when we discover that album with which we profoundly connect that provides endless joy and comfort and even commiseration. If you haven’t found your musical soulmate—try harder.

OPINIONS & DIVERSIONS

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 25

FILM & TELEVISION

(Group) Crime And (Singular) Punishment Looking at the lack of consequence for mindless living

Princess Mononoke's 20th Anniversary In honor of director Hayao Miyazaki's birthday and to celebrate the 20th anniversary of one of his beloved classics, the epic animated fantasy film, Princess Mononoke, returns to the big screen at Carmike's East Ridge 18 on Thursday, January 5 (English Subtitles) and Monday, January 9 (English Dubbed) only.

In ancient times, the land lay covered in forests, where, from ages long past, dwelt the spirits of the gods. Back then, man and beast lived in harmony, but as time went by, most of the great forests were destroyed. Those that remained were guarded by gigantic beasts who owed their allegiances to the Great Forest Spirit. For those were the days of gods and of demons...

Inflicted with a deadly curse, the young warrior Ashitaka heads into the forest in search of a cure. There, he meets the enigmatic Princess Mononoke, a young girl raised by wolves, who will stop at nothing to prevent the humans from destroying her home, and the forest spirits and animal gods who live there.

This classic story of the conflict between nature and civilization, and what it means to be human, has dazzled audiences for years with its iconic characters, action-packed battle scenes, and sweeping scope.

Don’t miss this incredible animated film, from director Hayao Miyazaki and the legendary Studio Ghibli, in cinemas for two-nights only!

Princess Mononoke Thursday, January 5 & Monday, January 9 Carmike East Ridge 18 5080 South Terrace (423) 855-9652 www.carmike.com 26 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

O

NE OF THE BENEFITS OF THE Cine-Rama, Chattanooga’s art house theater now on hiatus as they attempt to find more permanent housing, was that they brought somewhat unknown films to a wider Chattanooga audience. These films were not always exclusive screenings—many times, the films found at the Cine-Rama were available elsewhere, or at least would be soon enough.

There are those in the film community that see this as a drawback. They believe that new films should belong to them alone and if the folks at the Cine-Rama can’t provide an exclusive experience, then what’s the point? But curating is as much a part of the responsibility of theaters as

bringing in new cinema.

There are some of us who love movies that simply don’t have the time to haunt independent or genre film message boards looking for the latest in the strange and the wonderful. The Cine-Rama often offered films that were off the beaten path, films that might have had a wide interest, but due to the short screening schedule, were impossible to see.

White Girl, now available on Netflix, is one of those films. Offered some months ago, before the Cine-Rama took a break, it was promised to be a mind blowing film that audiences wouldn’t soon forget. While it isn’t necessarily mind blowing, it does have a way of lingering in the recesses of the psyche, thanks in part to a very compelling ending sequence. It’s not an enjoyable film, exactly, but a fascinating one

FILM & TELEVISION

“For much of the film, audiences may find themselves wondering just what point director Elizabeth Wood is trying to make. It’s a cavalcade of partying, nudity, and vapid decision making.” nonetheless.

Leah is a young woman from Oklahoma City who has moved to New York City for school. As with most newcomers to the city, decent neighborhoods are beyond her grasp and she and her roommate are forced to rent an apartment in Queens.

It must be a particularly bad neighborhood, seeing as she is able to afford a two-bedroom apartment as a college student, but my sister and her husband, both professionals, live in Queens and effectively live in a closet. But I digress.

Leah interns for a trendy magazine of some sort, working for free, while she waits on classes to begin. A few notes about Leah: she is, by all accounts, a big fan of illicit drugs and casual sex. The drugs, more than the sex, seem to really suit her fancy. The sex is merely a byproduct of lots of

cocaine.

Her risky behaviors lead to finding herself in a multitude of sketchy situations, like engaged in an office tryst with her boss whom she just met and inviting the drug dealers from the corner into her apartment to hang out.

This is how she meets Blue, the good looking apparent leader of the corner crew, so named because he cries a lot.

She develops an infatuation with Blue, what with his easy smile and pockets full of coke, and they begin a passionate, drug fueled relationship.

Before long, however, Blue is arrested for obvious reasons. Leah spends the remainder of the movie trying to get him out of jail, diving headfirst into both the legal system and the illicit drug trade with a bleary eyed blundering.

For much of the film, audiences may find themselves wondering just what point director Elizabeth Wood is trying to make. It’s a cavalcade of partying, nudity, and vapid decision making.

There are certainly people in the world

like Leah and her friends, but it’s hard to imagine there is much to say about them. This is where the brilliance of White Girl lies.

What comes blisteringly into focus at the end of the film is that most of the people in the film suffer no consequences for their actions.

Only Blue, who is arguably the moral center of the film, is punished for his belief in fate, honesty, and what passes for traditional values among drug dealers.

Leah, by the virtue of her ethnic and economic background, can ruin the lives of everyone around her and still go on with her life. The film leaves the audience wondering if Leah learned anything from her ordeal.

Films like White Girl are the reason we need the Cine-Rama in Chattanooga. Without it, I wouldn’t have known about this film and not have the opportunity to consider the themes found therein.

Hopefully, the folks at the Cine-Rama find a home soon. It’s good to have a signpost pointing the way to quality experiences.

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

Live by Night A story set in the Prohibition Era and centered around a group of individuals and their dealings in the world of organized crime.

Director: Ben Affleck Stars: Ben Affleck, Scott Eastwood, Zoe Saldana, Elle Fanning

Hidden Figures A team of African-American women provide NASA with important mathematical data needed to launch the program's first successful space missions.

Director: Theodore Melfi Stars: Taraji P. Henson, Octavia Spencer, Janelle Monáe, Kevin Costner

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 27

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

The List

listening in rapt silence and at other times shrieking raucously. I’m sure you can empathize with the poets’ drastic action, Pisces. How many times have you felt you don’t get the appreciation you deserve? But I bet that will change in 2017. You won’t have to resort to performing for baboons.

New Year's Resolutions ROB BREZSNY

It's that time of year again when people make all sorts of resolutions in an effort to make the new year better than the last.

The top three resolutions are to lose weight, to get more organized, and the spend less while saving more money.

Our friends at the Statistic Brain Research Institute looked into the resolution numbers.

• Percent of Americans who usually make New Year's Resolutions: 45% • Percent of Americans who infrequently make New Year's Resolutions: 17% • Percent of Americans who absolutely never make New Year's Resolutions: 38% • Percent of people who are successful in achieving their resolution: 8% • Percent who have infrequent success: 49% • Percent who never succeed and fail on their resolution each year: 24% But whether or not you make (or keep) your resolutions, we wish you a safe and happy new year.

Source: www.statisticbrain.com/newyears-resolution-statistics/

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): As I was ruminating on your astrological omens for 2017, I came across a wildly relevant passage written

by Rabbi Tzvi Freeman. It conveys a message I encourage you to memorize and repeat at least once a day for the next 365 days. Here it is: “Nothing can hold you back—not your childhood, not the history of a lifetime, not even the very last moment before now. In a moment you can abandon your past. And once abandoned, you can redefine it. If the past was a ring of futility, let it become a wheel of yearning that drives you forward. If the past was a brick wall, let it become a dam to unleash your power.”

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Naturalist John Muir regarded nature as his church. For weeks at a time he lived outdoors, communing with the wilderness. Of course he noticed that not many others shared his passion. “Most people are on the world, not in it,” he wrote, “having no conscious sympathy or relationship to anything about them—undiffused, separate, and rigidly alone like marbles of polished stone, touching but separate.” Is there anything about you that even partially fits that description, Aquarius? If so, I’m pleased to inform you that 2017 will be an excellent year to address the problem. You will have immense potential to become more intimate and tender with all of the component parts of the Great Mystery.

What’s the opposite of loneliness?

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Seven Chilean poets were frustrated by their fellow citizens’ apathy toward the art of poetry. They sarcastically dramatized their chagrin by doing a performance for baboons. Authorities at the Santiago Zoo arranged for the poets’ safety, enclosing them in a protective cage within the baboons’ habitat. The audience seemed to be entertained, at times

28 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Donatello was a renowned Italian sculptor.

His favorite piece was “Lo Zuccone,” a marble statue of the Biblical prophet Habakkuk. As Donatello carved his work-in-progress, he addressed it. “Speak, damn you! Talk to me,” he was heard to say on more than a few occasions. Did the stone respond? Judging from the beauty of the final product, I’d have to say yes. One art critic testified that “Lo Zuccone” is a “sublimely harrowing” tour de force, a triumph of “forceful expression,” and “one of the most important marble sculptures of the 15th century.” I suspect you will have Donatello-like powers of conversation in 2017, Aries. If anyone can communicate creatively with stones—and rivers and trees and animals and spirits and complicated humans, for that matter—it’ll be you.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): According to Japanese novelist Haruki Murakami, “A certain type of perfection can only be realized through a limitless accumulation of the imperfect.”

Let’s amend that thought so it’s exactly suitable for your use in 2017.

Here’s the new, Taurus-specific version: “A messy, practical, beautiful type of perfection can be realized through a patient, faithful, dogged accumulation of the imperfect.” To live up to the promise of this motto, make damn good use of every partial success.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Gemini gymnast Marisa Dick has created a signature move that has never been used by any other gymnast.

To start her routine, she leaps up off a springboard and lands on the balance beam doing a full split. The technical term for this bold maneuver is “a change-leg leap to freecross split sit,” although its informal name is “The Dick Move.” The International Federation of Gymnastics has certified it in its Code of Points, so it’s official. During the coming months, I expect that you will also produce one-of-a-kind innovations in your own sphere.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): I hope

Homework: If you’d like to enjoy my books, music, and videos without spending any money, go here: http://bit.ly/LiberatedGifts you will be as well-grounded in 2017 as you have ever been—maybe even since your past life as a farmer. I trust you will go a long way toward mastering the arts of being earthy, practical, and stable. To do this right, however, you should also work on a seemingly paradoxical task: cultivating a vigorous and daring imagination—as perhaps you did in one of your other past lives as an artist. In other words, your ability to succeed in the material world will thrive as you nurture your relationship with fantasy realms—and vice versa. If you want to be the boss of reality, dream big and wild—and vice versa.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Even if you don’t think of yourself as an artist, you are always working on a major art project: yourself. You may underestimate the creativity you call on as you shape the raw material of your experience into an epic story.

Luckily, I’m here to impress upon you the power and the glory of this heroic effort. Is there anything more important? Not for you Leos. And I trust that in 2017 you will take your craftsmanship to the highest level ever. Keep this advice from author Nathan W. Morris in mind: “Edit your life frequently and ruthlessly. It’s your masterpiece, after all.”

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): French painter Henri Matisse (1869-1954) turned out to be one of the supremely influential artists of the 20th century. But he was still struggling to make a living well into his thirties. The public’s apathy toward his work demoralized him. At one point, he visited his dealer to reclaim one of his unsold paintings.

It was time to give up on it, he felt, to take it off the market. But when he arrived at the gallery, his dealer informed him that it had finally been bought—and not by just any art collector, either. Its new owner was Pablo Picasso, an artist whom Matisse revered. I think it’s quite possible you will have comparable experiences in 2017, Virgo. Therefore: Don’t give up on yourself!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “The self in exile remains the self, as a bell un-

struck for years is still a bell,” writes poet Jane Hirshfield. I suspect that these words are important for you to hear as you prepare for 2017. My sense is that in the past few months, your true self has been making its way back to the heart of life after a time of wandering on the outskirts.

Any day now, a long-silent bell will start ringing to herald your full return. Welcome home!

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): In accordance with your astrological omens for 2017, I’ve taken a poem that Shel Silverstein wrote for kids and made it into your horoscope. It’ll serve as a light-hearted emblem of a challenging but fun task you should attend to in the coming months. Here it is: “I’ve never washed my shadow out in all the time I’ve had it. It was absolutely filthy I supposed, so I peeled it off the wall where it was leaning and stuck it in the washtub with the clothes. I put in soap and bleach and stuff. I let it soak for hours. I wrung it out and hung it out to dry. And whoever would have thunk that it would have gone and shrunk, for now it’s so much littler than I.” SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Walk your wisdom walk in 2017, Sagittarius. Excite us with your wisdom songs and gaze out at our broken reality with your wisdom eyes. Play your wisdom tricks and crack your wisdom jokes and erupt with your wisdom cures. The world needs you to be a radiant swarm of lovable, unpredictable wisdom!

Your future needs you to conjure up a steady stream of wisdom dreams and wisdom exploits! And please note: You don’t have to wait until the wisdom is perfect. You shouldn’t worry about whether it’s supremely practical. Your job is to trust your wisdom gut, to unleash your wisdom cry, to revel in your wisdom magic.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work.

It’s all in the stars.

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES

“Keep Dividing”—the pieces get smaller and smaller.

ACROSS 1 “Better Call Saul” star Odenkirk 4 BLT spread 8 Keeps from happening 14 “The Simpsons” character with an 18-letter last name 15 Common freshwater bait fish 16 Outcast 17 50% of an ice cream dessert?

20 “The Zoo Story” dramatist 21 As of this time 22 Look to be 23 Spock’s dominant feature 26 Blow the socks off 28 One of many on a serialized TV show 32 Indiana-Illinois border river 37 James Bond novelist Fleming 38 Capitol Hill figures, slangily 40 Mythical monster that’s part woman, part serpent 41 25% of property to play in?

45 “David Copperfield” villain Heep 46 Stir-fry ingredient 47 Number that looks like itself repeated, when expressed in binary 48 Insect with two pairs of wings 50 Maintenance sign 53 Jacques or Jeanne, par exemple 55 Scuba spot 56 The “Y” in YSL 60 Sweater, say 62 Deck that all episodes of Hulu’s “Shut Eye” are named after 66 12.5% of a pushup undergarment?

70 Cat or goat type 71 Poker couple 72 Capital attachment?

73 What many gamblers claim to have 74 “___ Like the Wind” (Patrick Swayze song) 75 “Help wanted” sign?

DOWN 1 ___ Men (“Who Let the Dogs Out” group) 2 Flashy gem 3 Flower bed planting 4 Titular TV attorney of the ‘90s-’00s 5 “Now I understand!”

6 Big guffaw 7 Just say yes 8 “Bridesmaids” producer Judd 9 “Batman Forever” star Kilmer 10 Cultural periods 11 Gain altitude 12 Withstand 13 Pillow cover 18 “Dogs” 19 Drops in the grass 24 Mature 25 Angry bull’s sound 27 Pedestrian path 28 Excite, as curiosity 29 Dern of “Jurassic Park” 30 Lighted sign at a radio station 31 Be rude in a crowd 33 Howl at the moon 34 Cremona violinmaking family name 35 It’ll make

you pull over 36 “I ___ thought about it” 39 Late “60 Minutes” reporter Morley 42 Bitterly cold 43 Watered-down 44 Like a litter of puppies 49 City where the Batmobile is driven 51 “The Jerk” actress Bernadette 52 “Bearing gifts, we traverse ___” 54 Use blades on blades 56 Affirmative votes 57 Crawling with creepers 58 Frittata needs 59 Chance 61 Destroys, as bubble wrap 63 MLB stat, incorrectly but commonly 64 “... ___ I’m told” 65 Bagpipers’ caps 67 One less than quattro 68 “Yeah” opposite 69 D20 or D8, in D&D games

Copyright © 2016 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per3minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 812 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 29

FOOD & DRINK ∙ MIXOLOGY

Tasting The Pride Of Scotland Traditional Scottish brewing finds a tasty home in Chattanooga

By Brandon Watson

T

Pulse contributor

O TASTE ANY VERSION OF A “Schilling Ale” is to taste over 5,000 years of passion and progress of brew history throughout the ages. Yet one does not have to set sail for the majestic Highlands to indulge the senses in drinking tradition and pride noteworthy of the great Scotsmen.

Scottish Pride Ale is brewed and distributed in Chattanooga at a place called McHale’s Brewhouse. Scottish Pride is a local take on the Scottish classic “80 Schilling Ale” a title that has been all but lost save for brewmasters and ale enthusiasts.

The term “Shilling” or Scottish “Schilling” stems from the Old Norse or Viking word scilling which means to divide. A carry over from the medieval days when the Norsemen interacted with the Anglo-Saxon folk (the golden years of drinking and hilarity).

But what does old currency have to do with drinking or with Scottish Ale for that matter?

Well keep your kilt on and hold your haggis, because as it turns out, ales in ye olde tap houses of the mid-19th century were priced by alcohol percentage and flavor.

Scottish Brewhouses sold many varieties of beers and ales and priced them according to alcohol levels, imposed taxes, and imported ingredients.

As explained by Neil Spake from ScottishBrewing.com, “Scottish brewers were producing a number of beers of differing styles and alcohol content. Light beers such as table beer ranged from 42/- to 48/-. Mild and pale ales were 54/- and 60/- while export beers were sold as 70/- and 80/-.”

The numbers followed by the slash indicates schilling price and therefore the Scot-

tish Shilling system denoted beer type and flavor. Saying you would have a “42 Schilling Ale” in those days would be the equivalent of saying you’d have a Budlight respectively. Yet after WWII, the categories of beer and ale would be reduced to a simpler terms of light, heavy, and export. The Scottish being ever defiant chose to keep the “Schilling system” to label some of their beers to this day.

Of course one does not need a crash course in brew history to appreciate what Scottish Pride is or its growing popularity in Chattanooga.

Scottish Pride is an amazingly approachable and pleasant ale from first sip to final draft. The reddishorange ale is light on the scent yet

30 • THE PULSE • DECEMEBR 29, 2016 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

quick with the sweet malty flavor and that oh-so-nice dry finish that leaves you wanting a “wee bit” more. Folks who drink domestic light beers can find the body and flavor of Scottish Pride very agreeable to the palate as the malty flavor is sweet and enjoyable in comparison.

Scottish Pride is light on the carbonation and not overwhelming, so it can easily be paired with traditional pub style dishes (fish and chips are a must) or with wings with any flavored sauce. It is an ale that can be easily liked by itself in all its glory or garnished with citrus much like wheat beers.

Scottish Pride Ale is crafted with imported ingredients from Scot-

land and the owner-operators of McHale’s Brewhouse, Adam and Syd Hale, stand by their ale as a tribute to traditional Scottish brewmasters.

So far the ale has won first place in 2014 at the Great American Beer Festival, putting the humble craft beer on the map for McHale’s and opening Scottish Pride for distribution and tap rotation in many imbibing establishments around Chattanooga.

But don’t go by word alone, grab a pint and see for yourself what five centuries of brewing traditions taste like. You may find a new love affair with a fine local brew, one crafted with equal parts passionate ambition and stalwart pride.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • DECEMBER 29, 2016 • THE PULSE • 31