The Pulse 12.35 » August 27, 2015

august 27, 2015

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

the barbecue issue

barbecue perfection how to attain superb barbecue in your own back yard

music

arts

screen

killer new CD

much to do

ultra boring

hi strung lotsa art stoned

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Contents

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Contributing Editor Janis Hashe

August 27, 2015 Volume 12, Issue 35

Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors David Traver Adolphus • Christopher Armstrong Rob Brezsny • Matt Jones Mike McJunkin • Ernie Paik Rick Pimental-Habib • Alex Teach Editorial Interns Brooke Dorn • Sam Hilling Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

Features 4 BEGINNINGS: The Coin Op brings back the arcade fire of the '80s.

Cover Photo Charles Thompson Founded 2003 by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull

ADVERTISING

Director of Sales Mike Baskin Account Executives Chee Chee Brown • Linda Hisey • Randy Johnston Travis Jones • Angela Lanham • Rick Leavell Kyle Richard • Stacey Tyler

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Website chattanoogapulse.com Email info@chattanoogapulse.com BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher & President Jim Brewer II THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2015 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

6

Cues For the Absolutely Perfect ’Cue

It’s late August, and the air around Chattanooga hangs thick with the smell of a thousand failed barbecues. Weekend warriors mourn the dry ribs, overcooked brisket and bland pork shoulders lost on their watch while cries of sorrow and grief punctuate the summer heat.

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Ch-Ch-Changes and Updates

Even with our recent 72-page “State of the Arts” issue, we couldn’t include everything that’s happening or about to happen in the pulsating local arts community. So this week, we’re going to update you on several other be-there events and things you need to know.

22

Gypsy Punk-Grass Classic

I’m not going to mince words. I’ve been looking forward to this for quite a while. Strung Like a Horse, the band that is not so much a band as a phenomenon, has completed their first fulllength album and it is my great pleasure to tell you about it.

10 AIR BAG: Our car guy picks his fave new trucks and SUVs. 12 SCREEN: Good acting almost salvages “American Ultra.” Almost.

16 ARTS CALENDAR 19 DIVERSIONS 20 SPIRITS WITHIN: Telling the story of the agave harvest.

24 MUSIC CALENDAR 27 REVIEWS: Sarah Cracknell stays cozy, Willis Earl Beal sooths his soul.

28 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY 29 JONESIN’ CROSSWORD 30 on the beat: Alex takes issue with a columnist’s view of “positive” cop stories.

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$1 off of any

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Amigo’s Brainerd 5784 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-5435

lunch purchase (not valid with alcohol purchases) expires 12/10/15 Valid at East Ridge & Brainerd locations only

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 3

news • views • rants • raves

BEGINNINGS

updates » CHATTANOOGApulse.com facebook/chattanoogapulse EMAIL LOVE LETTERS, ADVICE & TRASH TALK TO INFO@CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Reviving the Joy of the Joystick The Coin Op on MLK Blvd. brings back the arcade fire of the '80s

“

If there’s one thing that’s missing from downtown Chatt culture, it’s a dedicated arcade that also offers food and beverages.”

The Great American Arcade has been slowly dying for the past few decades. Much of this death spiral can be attributed to the arcade’s inability to keep up with a technology that has exploded in sophistication in a very short amount of time. Gamers of the 1980s had no idea what their love of “Galaga” would unleash, or that their enthusiasm might lead to the loss of their favorite hangout.

Brian Hennen, however, still believes in the necessity of cabinetbased gaming.

As the proprietor of The Coin Op, Chattanooga’s newest haven for the

joystick-minded, he has a lot to say about the beauty of retro gaming. “If there’s one thing that’s missing from downtown Chatt culture,” he says, “it’s a dedicated arcade that also offers food and beverages. Many fine arcades have come and gone, and I’m a product of every one of them.”

The Coin Op is more than just a turnkey operation staffed by bored teenagers. Hennen sees it as a cultural refuge.

“I’m really hoping the aesthetic and atmosphere john devore of The Coin-Op is as appealing to everyone as it is to me,” he says. “I’ve spent about two months wearing a rut in the floor and the space is oozing with my personality, so it’s an extremely personal—and terrifying—endeavor.”

Some of these personal touches include a bathroom dedicated to “Twin Peaks” (“I’m settin’ my sights on a fine cherry pie,” Hennen says, “and all I have to say ’bout Douglas Firs is that they are big, and oh-so-majestic”), a “Pee-wee’s Playhouse”/Wayne White-inspired experience (alongside a cereal bar), and a Matt Dutton installation above the bar (Hennen says it’s “his first local installation outside of Anthropologie).

But, of course, the most important part of any arcade are the games. Among the cabinets found at The Coin Op, some of Hennen’s favorites include “The Simpsons,” “Police Trainer,” “Rampage,” “Klax,” the Multicade (featuring the ever-popular “Galaga”) and “Street Fighter Pin Ball.”

Fun

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How does The Coin Op plan to compete against the comfort of at home console/PC gaming?

It won’t, Hennen says.

“I have no illusions that it is extremely comfortable to play console/PC games in the comfort of one’s pajamas at 4 a.m.,” he says. “I cannot compete with that—but I can certainly offer a venue for folks to come and play retro games with their pals or partake in “Super Smash Bros./Goldeneye/Mortal Kombat” tournaments. The sheer brilliance of being number one in a room full of like-minded individuals is intoxicating in and of itself!”

But more than this, The Coin Op hopes to be a home for the growing number of young professionals in the city.

He wants to spotlight indie game developers by creating a homemade, Coin Op cabinet that will “highlight the hard work of regional developers as well as global developers on a rotating basis.

“To have your creation playable in an arcade environment is, to me, tops,” Hennen says.

The Coin Op opens Saturday, August 29 at 233 E. MLK Blvd. Visit facebook.com/ coinopcha

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Celebrate the Vote That Changed History With a female candidate running for president in 2016, it’s hard to imagine a world in which women didn’t have the vote—but that’s exactly the world we’re reminded of at the Women’s Fund of Greater Chattanooga’s celebration of “The Vote That Changed History.” Many are not aware that Tennessee was the final state whose

approval of the 19th Amendment did change history.

Only 95 years out from that historic moment, the Women’s Fund, along with GPS, the League of Women Voters and the Daughters of the American Revolution, is holding a celebration of this monumental victory.

Opening remarks will be cour-

IN THIS ISSUE

Mike McJunkin This week’s cover story on the search for the best barbecue is by longtime food writer and professional chef Mike McJunkin, a native Chattanoogan who has gained considerable experience with food through his obsessive habit of eating several times

tesy of Autumn Graves and Carol Berz, followed by a viewing of “IronJawed Angels,” the story of some of the lesser-known champions of the women’s suffrage movement. The League of Women Voters is hosting a table that will provide attendees the opportunity to register to vote.

The event is scheduled for Thursday, August 27, 5:30-8:30 p.m. at the GPS Frierson Auditorium, 205 Island Ave. Light refreshments will be provided. (423) 394-8173, director@cwli. org — Sam Hilling

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Christopher Armstrong each and every day. Along the way he has trained chefs, owned and operated restaurants, and singlehandedly increased Chattanooga’s meat consumption statistics for three consecutive years. He can tell you what balut tastes like, what it’s like to eat pork blood boat noodles on the streets of Thailand and how to cure bacon in a loft apartment. He is also quite active on Facebook at facebook. com/SushiAndBiscuits

Our "man on the barstool", Christopher Armstrong, has the enviable job of sampling and writing about fine liquors and spirits for The Pulse. He believes that Chattanooga is not only the “best town ever,” but it’s also a feeling that you keep with you ev-

erywhere you go. No matter how far away you find yourself, the city will always be with you. Although he now wakes up every morning to the endless sunshine that is Los Angeles, he keeps the Scenic City, and all it stands for, in his pocket, taking with him everything he learned while living in the Noog.

From a barstool far away, he toasts his glass to six years of unforgettable memories.

Go Mocs! chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 5

COVER STORY

Cues For the Absolutely Perfect Backyard ’Cue Chef Mike shares his long-horded meat-cooking secrets

By Mike McJunkin, Pulse Food Editor. Photos by Jim Brewer.

I

t’s late August, and the air around Chattanooga hangs thick with the smell of a thousand failed barbecues. Weekend warriors mourn the dry ribs, overcooked brisket and bland pork shoulders lost on their watch while cries of sorrow and grief punctuate the summer heat. Children can be heard sobbing and whispering, “Why, Daddy? Why?” as they stare blankly at the charred remains of a beloved Southern culinary institution—the backyard barbecue.

Traditional Southern barbecue is in danger of collapsing under the weight of its own popularity. The broad realization that slow-cooked, smoky meats are one of God’s great gifts to man has brought on a nearly inescapable onslaught of barbecue information.

Trendy food-porn-packed websites assault your brain with disastrously bad advice, and celebrity chefs are popping up all over television with “barbeque tips” that are nothing more than semi-useless, self-promoting sound bites. This deluge of information has led to an outbreak of barbecue catastrophes and confusion over how to attain perfect barbecue in your own backyard.

But good news is on the horizon for weary cooks seeking barbecue perfection. After years of painstaking and meticulous research into the finer points of the barbecue arts, researchers from The Pulse’s Barbecue Division of Culinary

Affairs have worked tirelessly to bring you only the best, and most useful tips for creating the perfect barbecue.

pattern of white flecks and streaks of fat within the lean sections of meat that melts as the meat cooks, infusing it with flavor and juiciness.

Local barbecue renaissance man and Owl’s Nest competitive barbecue team champion, Steve Ray, says his favorite cut to barbecue is brisket. “I like it because it’s the most challenging and probably the poorest quality piece of meat you can cook and make taste good.” he says. “It starts out tougher than a street gang and when I’m done it’s as tender as a mother’s love.”

Pick your meat carefully

Fuel for the fire

Find a quality butcher shop and introduce yourself to the butcher. Although butcher shops are getting as scarce as hen’s teeth, it is worth seeking out a good one that you can trust. If you are going to take one or two days of your life to watch over hulking slabs of meat, it only makes sense that they should be the best hulking slabs you can find.

Not all meat is created equal, so don’t just grab the first slab that catches your eye from across the room. Linger over the meat and find the one that really stiffens your spatula. Look at the evenness of the cut. If one end is thinner, it may overcook. Also, look for cuts with really nice marbling. Marbling is that

Some people believe there is a controversy surrounding how to fuel the fire for your barbecue. Those people are confused, perhaps from an overdose of propane vapors. The taste of barbecue is the taste of smoke and fire—a taste that cannot be properly achieved with anything other than the sweet-smelling fumes of slow smoldering hardwood. For the most basic rig, all you need is some good quality lump charcoal and a cool device called a chimney starter. Lump charcoal is the closest thing you can get to burning hardwood itself, so the smoke it produces is reminiscent of a summer campfire.

A chimney starter is a big tube with

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a wire rack inside. Simply place some newspaper under the chimney, some unlit charcoal on the rack, and ignite. These are inexpensive ($15-$25) and will eliminate the temptation to use lighter fluid or insta-light briquettes. Unless you are Colonel Kilgore and want your barbecue to come with a hint of napalm in the morning, you really want to stay away from lighter fluid and anything “match light.”

Salt and salt again Don’t be stingy when salting meat that is going to be cooked low and slow like barbecue...as long as you’re using coarse kosher salt. Table salt is too fine grained, which just makes the meat salty, and it contains anti-caking agents that prevent it from creating that

beautiful crust we all know and love. Coarse salt, on the other hand, won’t melt like table salt and doesn’t have the same anticaking properties, so it forms that delicious crust that makes your eyes roll to the back of your head in pure barbecue ecstasy. If you do go heavy on the coarse salt, keep that in mind when applying any other spices or rubs that contain added salt.

Go drink a beer, mow the grass...and leave the meat alone Once you get that gorgeous, seasoned meat on the grill, close the lid and walk away. Like a bride preparing for the walk down the aisle, your meat needs hours of undisturbed time alone to emerge as the eye-watering beauty you al-

ways hoped it would be. Seriously, resist the urge to check in on it.

Just leave it alone and let it cook.

It’s not a bad idea, especially for the less-experienced cook, to use a meat thermometer you can monitor without opening the grill. You can pick one up for less than $20 and they are 100 percent worth it. Insert the probe right into the thickest part of the meat, not touching any fat, bone, or the grill.

Also, remember that the meat will continue to cook after it is taken off the grill, so pull it off the heat when it’s about 10 degrees below your target temperature.

Naked is good A great piece of meat is a thing of beauty whose flavors should never be obscured. It should not

“

If you are going to take one or two days of your life to watch over hulking slabs of meat, it only makes sense that they should be the best hulking slabs you can find.”

>> Continued on page 8 chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 7

“The Best BBQ In Town!”

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8 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

be camouflaged by crimson- or mustard-hued sauces, which are far too often simply a cover for the sins of the cook or the inadequacies of a cheap, flavorless cut of meat. I am certainly not advocating for eliminating sauce altogether, but one of the great modern crimes against barbecue is the misuse of sauce. Barbecue sauce should highlight the natural flavors of the meat and the smokiness you’ve spent hours imparting, not hide it under a coating of sugar or vinegar.

Barbecue bon vivant and one of Chattanooga’s best-known connoisseurs of flame-kissed meats, Jim Brewer, knows the value of a good sauce when used appropriately. “A good sauce is the perfect complement to a really great piece of meat, but it has to be brushed on at the end,” Jim says.

“A sweet sauce can get gummy or burn, so apply it last, giving the sauce just long enough to heat and get a little caramelization

without burning.”

While I love a good sauce, my personal favorite is a simple “board dressing” that amplifies the flavor of the meat, rather than adding other potentially competing flavors to the mix. For a simple board dressing, chop a handful of fresh herbs, drizzle a couple of tablespoons of olive oil onto the chopped herbs and mix them together. Lay the hot, grilled meat right onto the herb mixture so that as you carve, the cut meat gets covered with the herbs and oil, which is being further flavored by the meat’s own juices. What could be better than a sauce made from the meat’s own juices?

Waiting is the hardest part of backyard ritual Patience may be a virtue when cooking barbecue, but it’s nearly a superpower when it comes time to eat. Once you’ve waited hours

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“Letting barbecue, or any meat, ‘rest’ before cutting into it is the final step on your stairway to barbecue heaven.” (or even days) to dig into a carefully prepared brisket or slab of ribs, it may seem like a cruel joke to ask that you wait another five to ten minutes before cutting into your long-awaited prize. But this is exactly what you need to do.

Letting barbecue, or any meat, “rest” before cutting into it is the final step on your stairway to barbecue heaven.

If you cut into a piece of meat immediately after it comes off the heat, moisture floods out, taking with it some of the wonderful juices and flavors you’ve been working so hard to achieve.

Letting meat rest allows moisture to regroup and remain bound to the meat’s proteins instead of leaking out and forming a pool of sadness in the bottom of your plate. For large cuts of meat, like

brisket or pork shoulder, resting will minimize that loss and make for a more juicy end result. Don’t worry, though, a 5-10 minute rest won’t eliminate all juice runoff, so you’ll still have plenty for that oh-so-tasty board dressing.

It’s easy to overcomplicate barbecue. But it’s even easier to stick to the basics and reap the rewards of perfect barbecue right in your own backyard. Start with these basics and learn how to work with meat, fire and smoke, then build on that with all of the extras.

Armed with this powerful arsenal of barbecue knowledge, you can avoid becoming another failed barbecue statistic, and instead kick back with a nice cold beverage and a plate of perfect barbecue to cap off another gorgeous Chattanooga summer.

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Same Southside location for 25 years 1251 Market St., Chattanooga (423) 267-2726 • porkersbbq.com

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 9

10 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

New Car Buying Season, Part II Our car guy picks his faves of the new trucks and SUVs

“

Unsold inventory, especially outdated unsold inventory, does nothing for the dealer and the longer it sits around, the more they want it gone.”

David Traver Adolphus is a freelance automotive researcher who recently quit his full time job writing about old cars to pursue his lifelong dream of writing about old AND new cars. He welcomes the inevitable and probably richly deserved kvetching about Airbag and anything else on Twitter as @proscriptus.

Last month I took a look to remove a piece of plastic at some quality sedans on under the hood that likes to which you should be able burn. Recalls are par for the to get a great deal this fall. course for Fiat Chrysler, but The key is that right now, dealers have two other great dealership lots are really fillreasons to get rid of Jouring up with 2016 models— neys. The model’s future is but there are still plenty of completely in doubt, with unsold ’15s. If next year’s absolutely no news about a car is more replacement, or less idenand it probtical to this ably won’t year’s, there get one. Yet isn’t going to there are DAVID TRAVER be a big issue thousands of ADOLPHUS with the two them still sitsharing lot space. But if the ting around. ’16 is all new or if the model The SE trim has a $23,495 is discontinued, then there MSRP but they are all over are many reasons to move it in the $14,000-$16,000 along. range. The downside to all At this point, remaining this is it’s not a good car, but 2015s have also started to sit it holds plenty of stuff and is around for a while. Unsold cheap. inventory, especially outUtility SUV dated unsold inventory, does 2015 Nissan Xterra nothing for the dealer and I really love the Xterra. the longer it sits around, the It’s just about the last of the more they want it gone. Just old-school, body-on-frame Googling the VIN will often SUVs and is genuinely catell you how long a dealer pable offroad. But it’s dead: has had a car—and once it’s Nissan has stopped making been around more than two them and is selling off existor three months, it’s your ing Xterras, of which they time to strike. have a large number. The only other alternative is the Small SUV/Crossover Toyota 4Runner, but where 2015 Dodge Journey a rear-wheel drive Xterra is This is one crowded margoing to run you $22,000ket segment and there are a lot of alternatives, but a $25,000, a 2015 4Runner starts at $30,000 (also a good couple of things make the deal).

Dodge Journey exceptionally cheap. The really, reUnlike any smaller SUV ally big one, however, is that aside from the Toyota and some of them might...um...

Jeep Wrangler, the Xterra burst into flames. isn’t cushy. But also unlike Starting August 26, Chrysthem, it can tow up to 5,000 ler recalled 144,000 Journeys pounds, while seating five

Air Bag

and carrying actual cargo.

This thing will work and play for you for years, up to and including the zombie apocalypse, and I’d buy one today if I could.

Premium SUV 2014 Volvo XC90 This is maybe the single best people carrier ever made, with details and features that will amaze you.

It’s also old. Very old. So old that while there’s a completely new 2016 XC90, there wasn’t a 2015 at all. A remaining 2014 isn’t going to be easy to find, but they are out there, and any dealer with one has been sitting on it for close to a year at least.

The other nice thing is that the 2016 starts at $51,000, while the 2014 started at $41,000 and no one is going to want to have that car around reminding people of how much more they’re paying.

Light truck 2015 Toyota Tacoma Light trucks aren’t what they once were. Not only did we used to have unkillable Japanese pickups from Toyota, Nissan and even Mazda, but there were Ford Rangers and Chevy S10s, too. The last of those holdouts was the Ranger, which

exited in 2011. The closest today is probably the outgoing 2015 Toyota Tacoma, and even with a redesigned 2016 on the way, the 2015s aren’t cheap...yet.

Right now you’re looking a minimum of $19,000 for a base, 2.7-liter rear-wheel drive truck, but they are just starting to fall in price. Once the 2016s arrive in quantity, great deals should be available.

Work truck 2014 Ford F150 WIth only five makes of truck—Ford, Ram, Chevrolet/GMC, Toyota and Nissan—deals will always be hard to find. Ford didn’t really blow out 2014 F150s when a new all-aluminum body 2015 came out, but two years later it’s a different story. There are literally still thousands of brand-new 2014 F150s in inventory, and there are some huge discounts now.

The cheapest are essentially unsold fleet trucks, in white with black vinyl interiors, although they come in a variety of trim levels.

You could see $10,000 or more under MSRP on one of these, as I’ve found some that have been for sale for almost two years!

Happy hunting, everyone.

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 11

SCREEN SCENE

Very American, Not So Very Ultra Good acting almost salvages “American Ultra.” Almost...

I

Ahoy! Thar Be Whales!

Dive into the deep with the majestic humpback whales Narrated by two-time Golden Globe nominee Ewan McGregor, the IMAX 3D nature feature “Humpback Whales” is an extraordinary journey into the mysterious world of one of nature’s most awe-inspiring marine mammals.

Set in the spectacular waters of Alaska, Hawaii and the remote islands of Tonga, this ocean adventure offers an up-close look at how these whales communicate, sing, feed, play and take care of their young. Found in every ocean on earth, humpbacks were nearly driven to extinction 50 years ago,

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Join a team of researchers as they unlock the secrets of the humpback and find out why humpbacks are the most acrobatic of all whales, why they sing their haunting songs, and why these intelligent, 55-foot, 50-ton animals migrate up to 10,000 miles round-trip every year.

“Humpback Whales” Tennessee Aquarium IMAX 201 Chestnut St. (423) 266-4629 tnaqua.org/imax

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We Are Your Friends Caught between a forbidden romance and the expectations of his friends, aspiring DJ Cole Carter attempts to find the path in life that leads to fame and fortune.

Director: Max Joseph Stars: Zac Efron, Wes Bentley, Emily Ratajkowski, Jonny Weston

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No Escape In their new overseas home, an American family soon finds themselves caught in the middle of a coup, and they frantically look for a safe escape in an environment where foreigners are being immediately executed.

Director: John Erick Dowdle Stars: Owen Wilson, Pierce Brosnan

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t seems most people harbor hero fantasies.

Nothing livens up a pointless meeting up more than imagining how one might stop an armed assailant as he’s threatening the office secretary. White-collar America is endlessly boring (blue-collar America is probably not far behind), which is part of the reason the entertainment industry has such a handle on our inner thoughts and desires—we express our boredom through the types of entertainment we consume.

Screen john devore

“

If the writers had stayed closer to the parody aspect of the film instead of the action movie repetition it allows itself to fall into, ‘American Ultra’ could be a wonderful late summer hit.”

Kim Kardasian isn’t famous because she’s talented. She’s famous because there is a large subsection of the population who live vicariously through her absurd excesses and family drama. So when a film like “American Ultra” hits the theaters, there’s always going to be an audience for it.

Who doesn’t hope they were secretly enrolled in a CIA program that gives them superhero-like abilities? Who doesn’t want to one day wake up from their mundane, ordinary life to be thrust into excitement? Stories like these are adolescent wish fulfillment at its finest. Anyone who peruses the young adult section at their local bookstore will find series after series that repeats these same tropes.

“American Ultra” is an attempt to comment on this trend, to laugh at its absurdity, while delivering an effective action movie. Had it committed more to the humor side, it might have been more ef-

fective.

Mike (Jesse Eisenberg) works at a convenience store in West Virginia, smokes a lot of dope, and has a variety of anxiety problems. His girlfriend Phoebe (Kristen Stewart) is longsuffering, understanding that he can’t leave their small town without having a serious panic attack, even when he plans to propose in Hawaii. They live together in a dirty house while Mike draws comics of a crime-fighting ape and struggles to make coherent decisions—until he is activated at work by a middleaged CIA operative who speaks nonsense while buying noodles and milk.

The scenes of Mike and Phoebe’s domestic bliss are interspersed with footage at CIA headquarters, where we learn of various experiments conducted on American citizens with names like “Wise Man” and “Tough Guy.” (The title

“The focus should have been more characterdriven, rather than plot-centered. As it is, the film is too easily distracted. ” “American Ultra” itself is a nod to the infamous MK Ultra experiments from the 1950s.)

Mike has certain abilities unlocked by the voicing of a code and is forced on a trail of destruction across his town as the government tries and fails to shut him down.

Much of the humor is found in how his bumbling mannerisms are offset by his cold-blooded killing. The government here is simultaneously all-knowing and ineffective, as one aspect appears to know nothing of what the other is doing.

When the movie works, it works well. If the writers had stayed closer to the parody aspect of the film instead of the action movie repetition it allows itself to fall into,

“American Ultra” could be a wonderful late summer hit. But the film makes the mistake of telling rather than showing.

Instead of letting us see the increasing panic and bewilderment that is overtaking Mike’s story, the filmmakers chose to let us into the background of the big picture, which diminishes how we experience the story. A good mystery should never be fully explained.

The audience should have the same experience Mike does, following the same narrative arc. The focus should have been more character-driven, rather than plot-centered. As it is, the film is too easily distracted.

Luckily, there is a strong cast to

make up for what is lost in the storytelling. Great casting can’t make up for a weak story, but good acting can at least soften the blow. Eisenberg, Stewart, Topher Grace, Connie Britton and Walter Goggins are all actors at the top of their game, so even though the story isn’t as interesting as it hopes to be, the film is not boring to watch.

Given that the run time is only around 90 minutes, “American Ultra” doesn’t wear out its welcome so much as it simply doesn’t live up to its potential.

The spy thriller is a longstanding tradition in American film. It’s not one that is going to vanish any time soon. Nor should it. While we might not need 10 reboots of “The Bourne Identity,” “American Ultra” shows that there are still fun stories to tell.

The film was a valiant effort that was almost excellent.

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 13

ARTS SCENE

Ch-Ch-Changes and Updates If it’s almost fall, and that means it’s almost time for lotsa art

The Secret Garden of Impressionism Can a garden be a painting? Find out at the Hunter Museum The world of Impressionism is at your fingertips! Technically, it’s at The Hunter Museum of American Art, where, this Sunday afternoon, Scott Drucker of Dream Gardens Landscape Design and Installation will team up with a Hunter educator to explore the skill behind some of the most breathtaking Impressionist paintings, and you’re invited. Admission is free for Hunter members, and is $15 for non-members.

“The Flowering of an Artful Garden: Impressions in Paint” is in conjunction with the ongoing “Monet & American Impressionism” exhibit and will allow for deeper insight into Monet’s phenomenal skill and timeless talent. A wide variety of American Impressionists are included in the exhibition, with painting dates ranging between 1880-1920.

According to the Hunter,“These

artists adapted the innovations of French Impressionism and ultimately paved the way to a uniquely American style of painting in the 19th century.”

With the aid of your Hunter educator, discover the history of Impressionist flowering as well as how this painting style influenced today’s design. Also, pause to consider the talent that allows for something so in the moment to be created and how such paintings still captivate us today.

— Brooke Dorn “Flowering of an Artful Garden with Scott Drucker” Sunday, 1:30 p.m.

Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org

Thu8.27

fri8.28

sat8.29

batter up!

holy bat cave!

festival fun!

Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Tennessee Smokies

Bat Cave Canoe Trip

Everyone East Lake Festival

Catch the Looks before the season is over.

7:15 p.m.

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com

Watch the bats fly out of their cave to start their nightly feeding.

7 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com

Fun, food, music and lots of family entertainment.

2 p.m.

East Lake Park 3000 E. 34th St. (423) 529-0315 elakeneighbors.org

14 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

E

ven with our recent 72-page “State of the Arts” issue, we couldn’t include everything that’s happening or about to happen in the pulsating local arts community. So this week, we’re going to update you on several other be-there events and things you need to know. As in:

Arts janis hashe

“

Get your blood moving with the stirring Nagata Shachu Japanese drum ensemble, heating up UTC’s Fine Arts Center on Sept. 15.”

On Sept. 1 at 10 a.m., “Anchors,” the 65-foot monumental sculpture by Peter Lundberg will be tilted up from the ground at the Sculpture Fields on the Southside. Created to honor the five service members who died in the July 16 attacks, the sculpture will be pulled into place by a 300foot crane.

The public is invited to the event, which will also give you a first glimpse of the evolving Sculpture Fields project, is located along Polk Street between E. 23rd and Main Sts. The 33-acre park will be open to the public beginning weekends in November, with a grand opening scheduled for spring 2016. Stay tuned.

Fans of the Ensemble Theatre of Chattanooga (ETC) have likely missed its presence in the theater scene, as the company was re-locating from its former Eastgate Town Center digs to its new home in the Highland Center in Brainerd (which also houses Shakespeare Chattanooga).

But fear not! ETC ramps up again when it opens its production of the musical “VIOLET” on

Sept. 10, running through Sept.

27. Written by Jeanine Tesori with lyrics and book by Brian Crawley, the musical is based on the short story “The Ugliest Pilgrim,” and deals with a young woman who suffers a disfiguring accident when she’s young. She travels via Greyhound bus to find a televangelist she believes can heal her.

For more information, contact ETC at (423) 987-5141 or garryposey@gmail.com.

Meanwhile, those busy literate bees at the Southern Lit Alliance have announced the Young Readers Book Festival, taking place on June 4, 2106. It’s never too early to save the day for the all-day celebration of reading, writing, and authors at the Public Library downtown on Broad Street.

But there are a couple of much earlier dates that the young creatives in your house will want to

“There’s been a passing of the torch at Ballet Tennessee. In June, Anna Baker-VanCura gifted the Ballet Conservancy to Ballet Tennessee.” know about. A citywide poster art contest to select the graphics and name of the brand-new venture is open to students K-12 with a submission deadline of Thursday, Oct. 1.

Even before that deadline, the SLA is developing an “intern team” of grade 9-12 students to develop a marketing strategy for the event, which is accepting applications through Friday, Sept.

11.

For more information on the event, the poster contest, and the intern team, contact So Lit Program Director Rhett Reeves at

rhett@solitalliance.org.

You didn’t think we’d forgotten the Patten Performances Series, did you? Never! Get your blood moving with the stirring Nagata Shachu Japanese drum ensemble, heating up UTC’s Fine Arts Center on Sept. 15. If you do not respond to taiko, you don’t have a pulse, is what I say. (Pun or no pun.) The ensemble will perform on the huge O-Daiko drums, as well as wooden clappers, gongs and bells.

Tickets and more info at utc. edu/fine-arts-center/pattenperformances

There’s been a passing of the torch at Ballet Tennessee. In June, Anna Baker-VanCura gifted the Ballet Conservancy to Ballet Tennessee.

Along with this, two full-time staff positions were created: Brittany Johnson-Mills is now both a full-time artist with the company and the new program administrator, and Hannah Locke continues as dancer/instructor but also has taken over as ballet administrator.

In addition, Victoria VanCura has been promoted to associate director of Ballet Tennessee. Support the company by attending the Sept. 17 6 p.m. screening of the WTCI documentary “From the Streets to the Stage,” featuring the story of BT alumnus Fredrick Davis, at the Bessie Smith Cultural Center.

For more information, visit ballettennessee.org

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 15

EVERY Friday, Saturday & Sunday until Labor Day!

Music F o od

Fun

For the Whole Family !

Taylor Kress

Tarryn Aimée Smith

Fridays 11am - 7pm

Saturdays 11am - 7pm

HIGHBEAMS Sundays 11am - 7pm

Old Time Travelers

Fridays, Saturdays & Sundays 9am - 3pm

Join us for old time, blue grass, and

country music with a Seven States view during Summer Music Weekends. Come enjoy a summer day at Rock City Gardens, dine at Café 7, and catch a Rock City Raptor Show!

Community Partner:

Brews. Views. Chews. 11a-4p Daily Bar Open till 7pm on Fri, Sat & Sun.

For more info call: 706.820.2531

ARTS CALENDAR

Presents

Zumba Crosstraining

thursday8.27 Homeschool Science Club 1 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery & Landscape Co. 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 crabtreefarms.org Lookout Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Highland Park YMCA 2000 Union Ave. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Chattanooga Room in the Inn Fundraiser 4:30 p.m.

The Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com Chattanooga Boutique Warehouse Sale and Benefit 5 p.m.

Stratton Hall 3146 Broad St. (423) 667-4332 facebook.com/ BoutiqueWarehouseSale Art Wise Presents “Dulce Roman” 6 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968

16 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com RCsummerMusicBar.375x9.8.indd 1

7/23/15 9:40 AM

huntermuseum.org Jazzanooga Juke Joint Sessions 6 p.m.

Memo Grill 430 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 267-7283 jazzanooga.org Free Zumba Crosstraining 6 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com “Mystery of the Nightmare Office Party” 7 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 200 Market St. (423) 266-6202 funnydinner.com Chattanooga Lookouts vs. Tennessee Smokies 7:15 p.m.

Pulse Pick: Tim Statum "The Frosty Bitch Guy", Tim has been entertaining audiences wherever he goes for years. A Birmingham native, he'll keep you in stitches with his Southern-style humor and storytelling.

Tim Statum The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

AT&T Field 201 Power Alley (423) 267-2208 lookouts.com Tim Statum 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

friday8.28 Chattanooga Boutique Warehouse Sale and Benefit 10 a.m.

Stratton Hall 3146 Broad St. (423) 667-4332 facebook.com/ BoutiqueWarehouseSale Chattanooga Mocs Soccer 2 p.m.

Finley Stadium 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041 finleystadium.com St. Elmo Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Incline Railway 3917 St. Elmo Ave. (423) 838-9804 “Mystery of Flight 138” 7 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 200 Market St. (423) 266-6202 funnydinner.com Tim Statum 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Bat Cave Canoe Trip 7 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com

saturday8.29 Jasper Highlands 5K and Kiddie K 8 a.m. CDT Jasper Highlands 210 Battlecreek Road, Jasper, TN (888) 777-5758 chattanoogatrackclub.org World of Beer’s 1st Birthday 10 a.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. (423) 668-6808

ARTS CALENDAR

Annual BBQ Cookoff worldofbeer.com Riverfront Yoga with Maggie White 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. (423) 842-1342 chattanoogarivermarket.com Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (423) 698-0330 saygrace.net Chattanooga River Market 10 a.m.

Tennessee Aquarium 1 Broad St. (423) 267-3474 chattanoogarivermarket.com Annual BBQ Cookoff 10 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 400-3744 phbbq.com Northside Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-7497 St. Alban’s Farmers Market 10 a.m.

St. Alban’s Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-1342 facebook.com/ StAlbansFarmersMarket Fall Gardening Workshop 10 a.m.

Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155

crabtreefarms.org Chattanooga Boutique Warehouse Sale and Benefit 10 a.m.

Stratton Hall 3146 Broad St. (423) 667-4332 facebook.com/ BoutiqueWarehouseSale Alhambra Ladies Fashion Show 11 a.m.

Alhambra Shrine Temple 1000 Alhambra Dr. (423) 892-0223 alhambrashrine.com BEERunch 11 a.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. (423) 668-6808 worldofbeer.com Vintage Baseball Match Noon 6th Cavalry Museum 6 Barnhardt Cir. (706) 861-2860 6thcavalrymuseum.com Screen Printing Saturday Noon Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Everyone East Lake Festival 2 p.m.

East Lake Park 3000 E. 34th St. (423) 529-0315 elakeneighbors.org Zine Making Workshop 2 p.m.

Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St.

(423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org TechTown Mardi Gras Party 6 p.m.

300 Block Main St. (423) 266-6627 gotechtown.com “Mystery of the Facebook Fugitive” 5:30 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 200 Market St. (423) 266-6202 funnydinner.com AmuseUm 7 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. 423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Chattanooga Roller Girls vs. Tragic City Rollers 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 chattanoogarollergirls.com 2nd Time Around Adult Prom 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Marriott Convention Center Two Carter Plaza (423) 756-0002 facebook.com/stmnational Tim Statum 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Robbie Fulks 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater

1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org “Mystery of the Redneck Italian Wedding” 8 p.m.

Vaudeville Café 200 Market St. (423) 266-6202 funnydinner.com Howl at the Moon Boat Ride 10:30 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy (423) 266-4488 chattanoogariverboat.com

sunday8.30 Chattanooga Market: Hot Rod Auto Show 11 a.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. (423) 266-4041 chattanoogamarket.com BEERunch 11 a.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. (423) 668-6808 worldofbeer.com Bud’s 37th Anniversary Party Noon Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. (423) 499-9878 budssportsbar.com Flowering of an Artful Garden with Scott Drucker 1:30 p.m.

The Hunter Museum

Experience Friday nights in a whole new light!

Reserve your space online:

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423.821.2544

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chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 17 RFZIPssLantern.375x9.8.indd 1

8/10/15 9:59 AM

ARTS CALENDAR

Splash into Labor Day Weekend with Red Bank Wine & Spirits

of American Art 10 Bluff View (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Tim Statum 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 3224 Brainerd Rd. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

monday8.31

Check out our great selection of wine, spirits & high gravity beer.

Come see why we’re the liquor store with a smile...

3849 Dayton Blvd. • Ste. 113 423.877.1787 At the corner of Morrison Springs Road and Dayton Boulevard in the Bi-Lo Shopping Center

Red Bank Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Red Bank United Methodist Church 3800 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Vintage Swing Dance 7 p.m.

Clear Spring Yoga 17 N. Market St. (931) 982-1678 clearspringyoga.com

tuesday9.1 East Brainerd Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Audubon Acres 900 N.Sanctuary Rd. (423) 838-9804 lookoutfarmersmarket.com Monthly Student Jam 7 p.m.

Folk School of Chattanooga 1200 Mountain Creek Rd. (423) 827-8906 chattanoogafolk.com Chattanooga Ski Club

18 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

"Imagining American Girlhood" 6 p.m.

Finley Stadium 1826 Carter St. (423) 266-4041 finleystadium.com

wednesday9.2 Middle East Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Main Street Farmers Market 4 p.m.

325 E. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com Wednesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Public Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 757-5310 chattlibrary.org Beer Bingo 7 p.m.

World of Beer 412 Market St. (423) 668-6808 worldofbeer.com

ongoing “Imagining American Girlhood” The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Japonisme and America”

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “Monet and American Impressionism” The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org “A Tribute to Roland Hayes” Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Local Homeless & Nontraditional Artists Exhibition H*ART Gallery 110 E. Main St. (423) 521-4707 hartgallery.com Kelly Jean Ohl/ Amanda Brazier River Gallery 400 E. Second St. (423) 265-5033 river-gallery.com “Outside/In-Town” In-Town Gallery 26 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com “Bark” Jewish Cultural Center 5461 N. Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.org AVA All-Member Salon Show Association for Visual Arts 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282

avarts.org PSC’s “Chattanooga Architecture” Gallery at Blackwell 71 East Gate Loop (423) 894-7112 chattanoogaphoto.org D. Swasey Art Exhibit Mountain Arts Community Center 809 Kentucky Ave., Signal Mountain (423) 886-1959 signalmacc.org “Rural South” Reflections Gallery 6922 Lee Hwy. (423) 892-3072 reflectionsgalleryTN.com “Foliage” North River Civic Center 1009 Executive Dr. (423) 870-8924 chattanooga.gov Stories In Art E.G. Fisher Library 1289 Ingleside Ave. (423) 745-7782 fisherlibrary.org Thomas & Friends: “Explore the Rails” Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org Lantern Tours Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 rubyfalls.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Diversions

Consider This with Dr. Rick

by Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

“Your age doesn’t define your maturity, your grades don’t define your intellect, and rumors don’t define who you are.”

Remember those angst-filled teen years, struggling to figure out just who you were? Trying on different personalities like clothing, and feeling pretty insecure much of the time? The adults would usually advise, “Just be yourself.” Ugh. What in the world does that mean, Mommm??

Hopefully you resolved those pesky identity issues and have arrived with an ability to know yourself. Maybe you haven’t. Maybe you’re right smack in the middle of them now. The tricky thing about identity—or self-definition—is that it’s organic, always evolving with each new life experience. I’m a student; I’m a partner; I’m a mom... on and on, overlapping, some stressful, some not, some long-lasting, some brief.

But beyond external definitions and labels lies the true you. Therein lies the beauty of being a work in progress. Consider this: Your heart, mind, soul and spirit don’t come from externals. These come from within. chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september chattanoogapulse.com • august 20-262 • The Pulse • 19

El Jimador: A True Working Man’s Tequila Our man on the barstool tells the story of the agave harvest

“

With a medievalinspired blade called the ‘coa de jima,’ the jimador removes the flower from the plant, inciting the initial stages of the tequila-crafting process.”

Christopher Armstrong was born in Knoxville, Tennessee on a brisk morning in November when the stars aligned and Jupiter was visible with the naked eye.

He enjoys the changing of seasons, vinyl records, books with lots of pages and beer that is too expensive for him to ever buy.

The last “Spirits Within” not only takes a tremendous column spotlighted Patron, amount of patience (most a brand which toasts the plants peak after 8-12 years high life. So for this week’s of life) but also requires prec o l u m n , cision and we’re turning a keen eye our attention for perfecto the hard tion. If the workers, the jimador cuts christopher true backthe plant armstrong bone of not before it has only this country, but the reached maturity, the spirit whole world. will taste overly sweet. Years Tonight we’re toasting El of cultivation will be wasted.

Jimador, a spirit whose very In order to avoid this diname honors the men and sastrous fate, the jimador women who make enjoying uses an almost sixth-sensetequila possible. style of intuition while careIt’s no secret that the Wefully inspecting each plant. ber Blue Agave plant conWith a medieval-inspired tains the special ingredient blade called the “coa de found in many of the world’s jima” (which in earlier cenfinest tequilas. The sweet turies could be used to denectar flowing through fend a village against attackthese plants fuels margariing barbarians), the jimador tas all summer long and we removes the flower from drink these tasty beverages the plant, inciting the initial as if they come from a neverstages of the tequila-crafting ending tequila spout. process.

Yet, somewhere out in the By proudly displaying world, there lurks a select authenticity, learned skill, society of committed indiand a true dedication to the viduals who spend countless chosen craft, the jimador hours working in the unforembodies every admirable giving sun while harvesting quality desired in a human fields overflowing with agabeing. And that’s why El ve plants. These few tireJimador decided to name less workers are called “jitheir award-winning brand madors,” and without their after these exceptional inditireless work there would be viduals. no tequila.

Named Mexico’s numberHarvesting an agave plant one “100 Percent Agave

Spirits Within

20 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Tequila,” El Jimador prides itself on being the preferred choice for tequila purists all over the world. Enjoying El Jimador doesn’t require fast cars or fat wallets. It only asks for authenticity.

It’s hard to go wrong mixing up margaritas on a hot, muggy Southern summer afternoon, but it’s late August now, and I’m sure we’ve all tasted many versions of this classic cocktail. So for originality sake, let’s stir up a Tequila Sunrise. This refreshing, and quite colorful beverage gained popularity in California during the ’70s.

Mix up six parts orange juice, one part grenadine syrup and three parts El Jimador tequila. With a glass full of ice, add the tequila and the orange juice. Pour the syrup in last and it will sink to the bottom. The colors blend together to create a visual akin to watching the sunset drape across the ocean.

There’s no better drink to

have in your hand while late summer blends into early fall.

Just like the Chattahooligans, El Jimador loves soccer, and they are the “Official Tequila Sponsor” of Major League Soccer, the U.S Men’s and Women’s National Teams, and the annual U.S. Tour of the Mexican National Team.

Whether you’re at the game, or watching it at home on the flat screen, El Jimador promises to fuel your excitement and energy while you cheer your team to victory.

From the agave fields to the soccer fields, El Jimador is tequila which unites people of all backgrounds. It’s a universal brand that can be enjoyed after a long day at work or while celebrating your favorite sport. Just remember, next time you’re about to enjoy a taste of El Jimador, salute the actual jimadors who made that drink possible. Cheers.

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El Jimador Tequilas

Herradura Tequilas

Jimador is the name given to the master harvesters of the Weber blue agave plant from which tequila is made. Of all the artisans who pour their heart, soul and skill into the making of our tequilas, it is the jimador who most perfectly embodies the hard work, dedication, spirit and pride that distinguishes our family of products.

Ultra premium, 100% agave tequila, crafted using only the most mature blue agave, traditional production methods and fermented naturally with wild yeast. Produced by Casa Herradura, one of Mexico’s most historic and renowned tequila producers, on the premises of a 19th century Hacienda in Amatitán, Jalisco.

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 21

MUSIC SCENE

Gypsy Punk-Grass Classic, Take One Strung Like a Horse’s brand-new album Free is well worth the wait

The Art of Picking Wisely Christopher Paul Stelling and his guitar grace Granfalloon Florida native Christopher Paul Stelling has made his way down from locales like Boston, Seattle, and New York to bring his folky picking style to Chattanooga’s Granfalloon.

Stelling has performed songs from his most recent album Labor Against Waste on “CBS Saturday Morning” as well as NPR’s “Tiny Desk Concert” series that sing the lessons learned on his travels through the country doing musical shows with only his guitar, Brownie, by his side.

His stories are both deeply personal and universal, and his intricate style moves easily through different genres, lending itself easily

to tapping your feet along with the soulful lyrics. Stelling’s self-taught expertise is a testament to both his originality and his inspirations, shaped uniquely by his idols and his experiences.

The evening, presented by Flashlight Shows, is set for Thursday, Aug, 27 and will benefit the Humane Educational Society. Doors open at 7 p.m.

— Sam Hilling Christopher Paul Stelling Thursday, Aug. 27 400 E. Main St. (423) 602-7314 facebook.com/granfallooncha

thu8.27

fri8.28

SAT8.29

take a shot

light it up

new music fun

Songwriter Shootout

Gaslight Street

One of the city's most entertaining events returns for another goround as some of you favorite singer-songwriters strut their stuff (and new material) on stage at The Camp House.

7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com

Soul music will never go out of style. Born in the musical bastion of Charleston, S.C., Gaslight Street’s regional presence has grown behind their relentless tours throughout the Southeast.

8 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com

Ryan Oyer Band CD Release Concert One of our favorite local bands is throwing a big party—and you're invited. Come get a first listen to their newest release and hear what makes them so popular.

8 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com

22 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

I

’m not going to mince words. I’ve been looking forward to this for quite a while. Strung Like a Horse, the band that is not so much a band as a phenomenon, has completed their first full-length album and it is my great pleasure to tell you about it. Entitled Free, the album is a collection of ten tunes that demonstrate a great deal of what makes Strung Like a Horse one of the most loved bands in the region.

Music marc t. michael

“

The album is a collection of ten tunes that demonstrate a great deal of what makes Strung Like a Horse one of the most loved bands in the region.”

In the first place, the boys are superb musicians. That’s neither necessary for, nor a guarantee of, success, but it sure doesn’t hurt. They aren’t just great instrumentalists though; they can also craft one hell of a song. Both lyrically and structurally their music is thoughtful and intelligent. Still, that isn’t the whole Strung Like a Horse package. (I know what I said.)

They take this considerable pool of talent and serve it up with a sense of humor and weirdness that you just don’t see that often. They’re kind of nuts, is what I’m saying, but only in the most brilliant fashion. I know—you’d probably expect something a tad more conventional from a band that has members named “Crispy” and “Spooky Fiddler” in their ranks, but there it is.

The opening track, “Free,” is just as happy and jaunty a tune as you’ll ever hear. You can’t help but feel good listening to it, despite or perhaps because the subject matter seems to be the relief one feels from leaving a bad relationship. Think of Steve Martin’s happy dance after his awful girlfriend breaks up with him in “LA Story.” There’s something to be said for having a weight lifted from your shoulders like that.

“Brag” is the second track, a raucous

Western swing number that seems to be the opposite of track one inasmuch as it is an unapologetic celebration of a successful relationship, or at least a much happier one. Track three, “Opus Zero,” is fascinating all the way ’round.

It’s a story tune, a dark one at that, but the frenetic pace and the unmistakable flavor of klezmer music lend credence to the “gypsy” portion of the band’s “gypsy punk-grass band” self-description.

“Storm of You” starts off as a haunting, sorrowful sort of ballad that shifts gears halfway through into a dreamy steel guitar that is more or less the opposite of the bit that precedes it. “Circus Song” is a lazy, drawl of a tune, replete with farm animals in the background; at least I’m pretty sure I heard a sheep, or a groupie…possibly one and the same. The lyrics are poetry. “If I don’t find me and you don’t find you, I hope we both find someone new.”

One gets the impression that this tune might have been a precursor to “Free.”

“La Belle Verite” is a delightful in-

“The album as a whole represents, I think, the best of what SLAH has done to date and is a must-have for…pretty much anyone, really.” clusion on this album, a neat experiment that I personally find very appealing. The band has taken Charlie Chaplin’s famous speech from “The Great Dictator” (a wonderful and vastly unappreciated film in its day) and given it a soundtrack. That’s all, and yet it fits what I know of the band’s personality as a whole so well that it’s easily as memorable and powerful as anything else on the album.

“Trailer Park Astronaut” is a lovely, twisted answer to the Byrd’s “Mr. Spaceman.” There is an honest-togod theremin expertly played by Kris Dale and, get this, a water phone! Go look it up. It’s one of the neatest instruments you’ve never heard of, and the fact that the band has one (scratch

built, no less) and plays it on this anthem to alien abduction is definitive proof that there is way more to SLAH than meets the eye. If they ever do a gritty reboot of “Redneck Rampage,” this tune HAS to be on the game’s soundtrack.

“Everything to Me” is another great example of superb lyricism. An apparent tribute to codependency, the song contains such gems as, “we agree one thing, we both know that we’re wrong” and “our love is like a poison, but it’s everything to me.” Those lyrics could work with damn near any genre of music; country, blues, psychedelic and funk. You name it, you’d still have a great song. The music they are set to, however, reminds me of nothing so

much as Paul Simon (the later years.)

Can’t say why exactly, but that’s what I hear.

“Horizontal Prequel” starts out as a dainty little tune that suddenly explodes in to something akin to “Flight of the Bumblebee,” although a little more countrified than that. Maybe flight of the mud dauber or the yellow jacket In fact, yellow jacket seems about right as the scorned woman at the heart of the tune shares some common traits with vespula maculifrons; nature’s way of saying, “Don’t screw with me!”

The final tune, “Horizontal,” should be familiar to SLAH fans, and for the rest of you, let’s just say that it is remarkably Zappa-esque in execution and wicked in lyrical content. The album as a whole represents, I think, the best of what SLAH has done to date and is a must-have for…pretty much anyone, really. One of the best albums to come out of this region this year, it is slated for release Sept. 25 at what will be the final show for Rhythm & Brews.

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 23

LIVE MUSIC AUG/SEP

28 SMOOTH DIALECTS SAT 9p 29 UPTOWN BIG BAND TUE 8p 1 THU ZACK FARLOW 9p 3 DAVE MATTHEWS FRI 10p 4 SAT CHIG MARTIN 9p 5 FRI RUBIK'S GROOVE 9:30p 11 FLY BY RADIO

FRI FINAL SHOW AT RHYTHM & BREWS! 10p

WITH SOCRO

HOT 17 PIECE SWING BAND

MUSIC CALENDAR

CHATTANOOGA

Samantha Fish

LETS HAVE SOME FUN!

ALL DAVE, ALL NIGHT

TRIBUTE BAND

AND THE ALABAMA OUTLAWS

‘80S PARTY!

COSTUMES, VIDEO AND MORE

9.12 VELCRO PYGMIES 9.15 YELAWOLF with RITTZ—DEVILS PASS BIKE RUN

COMING SOON

NATHAN ANGELO

ONE OF OUR FAVORITE SINGERS

STRUNG LIKE A HORSE

THU 9p

FRI with MEGAN JEAN & THE FAMILY BAND 9p

24

25

ALL SHOWS 21+ UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED • NON-SMOKING VENUE

221 MARKET STREET

HOT MUSIC • FINE BEER • GREAT FOOD BUY TICKETS ONLINE • RHYTHM-BREWS.COM

thursday8.27 Jazz Brunch 10 a.m.

FIVE 200 Manufacturers Rd. five-bar.com Jazzanooga’s Juke Joint Sessions 6 p.m.

Memo's Grill 430 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 267-7283 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Larry Fleet & Josh Pettyjohn 6:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m.

Ringgold Nutrition Center 144 Circle Dr., Ringgold (706) 935-2541 Live Bluegrass 6:30 p.m.

Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7 p.m.

Mexi Wings VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. (423) 296-1073 Diarrhea Planet, Music Band, Canopy, Mad Libre 7 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd.

24 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

jjsbohemia.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Songwriter Shootout 7 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Christopher Paul Stelling 8 p.m.

Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfallooncha.com Southlander 8 p.m.

Mayo’s Bar and Grille 3820 Brainerd Rd. (423) 624-0034 Open Mic with Hap Henniger 9 p.m.

Pulse Pick: Roxie Randle Roxie has been described as “an easy listen, with hints of coffeehouse, country, folk and a ladies touch.” A mix of country, pop and Americana, she has been wowing audiences for years.

Roxie Randle Sunday, 12:30 p.m.

Chattanooga Market 1 Broad St. chattanoogamarket.com

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

friday8.28 Summer Music Weekends 8:30 a.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Jazz Brunch 10 a.m.

FIVE 200 Manufacturers Rd. five-bar.com Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats 5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac

5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Bessie Smith Songbook with Ben Crosgrove 7 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. bessiesmithcc.org Escondido, Ten Bartram 7 p.m.

Miller Plaza 850 Market St. nightfallchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Gaslight Street 8 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Brightside, Doyle, New Planet 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Sam Killed the Bear 8 p.m.

Mayo’s Bar and Grille 3820 Brainerd Rd. (423) 624-0034 Logan Murrell 8:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 S. Broad St. (423) 266-2325 Jack Kirton 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Fly By Radio 10 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

saturday8.29 Summer Music Weekends 8:30 a.m.

Rock City 1400 Patten Rd. seerockcity.com Jazz Brunch 10 a.m.

FIVE 200 Manufacturers Rd. five-bar.com Sweet Georgia Sound 12:30 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. chattanoogarivermarket.com Everyone East Lake Festival 2 p.m.

East Lake Park & Duck Pond 3000 E. 4th St. elakeneighbors.org Jason Thomas and the Mean-Eyed Cats

5 p.m.

Chattanooga Choo Choo 1400 Market St. choochoo.com Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 2204 Hamilton Place Blvd. elmesonrestaurant.com Binji Varsossa 6 p.m.

Cancun Mexican Restaurant & Lounge 1809 Broad St. (423) 266-1461 Somethin’ Else 6 p.m.

Las Margaritas 4604 Skyview Drive (423) 635-1591 A Taste of Mardi Gras 6 p.m.

300 Block of Broad St. gotechtown.com/ summer2015 Homecoming at St. Marks – A Gaither Style Concert 7 p.m.

St. Marks United Methodist Church 701 Mississippi Ave. stmarkschattanooga.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Jimmy Harris 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Samantha Fish, Austin

Nickels Band 7 p.m.

Ross’s Landing Riverfront Pkwy. rivefrontnights.com Michelle Young & John Lathim 8 p.m.

Charles and Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Robbie Fulks 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Ryan Oyer Band CD Release Concert 8 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com Bohannons, James Legg 8 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Smooth Dialects, SoCro 9:30 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com 8TRK 10 p.m.

Clyde’s on Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com She She Dance 10 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

Robbie Fulks

901 Carter St. Inside City Cafe (423) 634-9191

Thursday, August 27: 9pm Open Mic with Hap Henninger Friday, August 28: 9pm Jack Kirton of Endelouz Saturday, August 29: 10pm She She Dance Tuesday, September 1: 7pm Server/Hotel Appreciation Night

sunday8.30

$5 Pitchers $2 Wells $1.50 Domestics ●

●

Wednesday, September 2: 8pm Blues Night feat. Yattie Westfield

Summer Music Weekends 8:30 a.m.

Rock City Happy Hour: Mon-Fri: 4-7pm 1400 Patten Rd. $1 10oz drafts, $3 32oz drafts, seerockcity.com $2 Wells, $1.50 Domestics, Free Appetizers Jazz Brunch 10 a.m. citycafemenu.com/the-office FIVE 200 Manufacturers Rd. five-bar.com Roxie Randle 12:30 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. chattanoogamarket.com Slim Pickins 12:30 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Plaza 1 Broad St. Thursday • August 27 chattanoogarivermarket.com Diarrhea Planet · Music Band, Mountain Creek House Fire Canopy · Mad Libre 2 p.m.

Granfalloon Friday • August 28 400 E. Main St. Brightside · Doyle · New Planet granfallooncha.com Sabrina Saturday • August 29 2 p.m.

Bohannons · James Legg First Tennessee Pavilion 1829 Carter St. Tuesday • September 1 chattanoogamarket.com Comedy Buffet w/ Dave Stone Homecoming at St. Marks – A Gaither Style Concert Thursday • September 3 3 p.m.

Your Chance to Die St. Marks United Friday • September 4 Methodist Church 701 Mississippi Ave. Behold the Brave · The Gills stmarkschattanooga.com Rocketboys Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia • 231Blvd.

E MLK Blvd.

JJ’s Bohemia • 231 E MLK Long Haul Saloon 423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com 423.266.1400 • jjsbohemia.com 2536 Cummings Hwy. chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 25

MUSIC CALENDAR

Featuring the Best Gourmet Burgers in North Chattanooga

The Secret Commonwealth

(423) 822-9775 Larry Fleet & Josh Pettyjohn 6:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com The Secret Commonwealth 7 p.m.

The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com

monday8.31 Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Very Open Mic 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. # 8 wellonthesouthside.com

tuesday9.1

Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits brewer media everywhere. every day.

26 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

Dana Rogers 5 p.m.

Firebirds Wood Fired Grill 2107 Gunbarrel Rd. chattanooga.firebirdsrestaurants.com Bill McCallie & In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle Riverboat 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pk. tremonttavern.com

Uptown Big Band 8 p.m.

Rhythm & Brews 221 Market St. rhythm-brews.com

wednesday9.2 Eddie Pontiac 5:30 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonrestaurant.com The Other Guys 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy.

(423) 834-9300 Dan Sheffield 7:30 p.m.

Sugar’s Downtown 507 Broad St. sugarschattanooga.com Blues Night with Yattie Westfield 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Open Jam 8 p.m.

Raw Bar & Grill 409 Market St. rawbarandgrillchatt.com Wednesday Night Jazz 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org citycafemenu.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse. com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

Record Reviews

ernie paik

Pop Pleasures in Red Kite, Vocal Virtuosity on Noctunes Sarah Cracknell stays cozy, Willis Earl Beal sooths his soul

Sarah Cracknell Red Kite (Cherry Red)

B

est known as the lead singer for the crate-digging, modern-yet-nostalgic Brit-pop purveyors Saint Etienne, Sarah Cracknell steps out with a new solo album Red Kite recorded in a barn near her country home.

This isn’t Cracknell’s first full-length solo outing—that would be Lipslide, which was recorded in the late ’90s and leaned toward a dance-pop electronics-heavy style; it’s not bad, but it’s not nearly as memorable as Saint Etienne’s high water marks like “He’s on the Phone,” “Hobart Paving” or “Sylvie.”

Red Kite features 12 numbers that hit pop pleasure points, wading in safe waters with careful, clear production and the intimate knowledge of ’60s pop that often informed Saint Etienne—those familiar with Saint Etienne won’t be surprised to hear tiny homages to the Beach Boys, the Brill Building and girl-group pop

Willis Earl Beal Noctunes (Tender Loving Empire)

here, among countless other references.

Cracknell sings on Red Kite as she does with Saint Etienne, cheerily and warmly with a touch of soul, and she often lets her longer notes dissolve into a breathy whisper. Musically, the dancefloor aspirations are shed, favoring a more organic, pastoral approach, like on “In the Dark” which features a dulcimer, strings and gentle guitar notes or “Favourite Chair” with harp and cello flourishes; a good point of comparison might be “Former Lover” on Saint Etienne’s Tiger Bay. The sugary sweet moments shine without being too treacly, like “Hearts Are for Breaking” with bright melodies on bells, a “Be My Baby” drumbeat quote, fuzzguitar licks and unabashed “ba da da da da” syllables, and “It’s Never Too Late” features flutey goodness and conjures a Left Banke vibe.

“I Am Not Your Enemy” has a spy soundtrack mood with Link Wray-esque guitar, and the album features collaborations with The Rails and Nicky Wire of Manic Street Preachers.

Song for song, Red Kit is slightly more satisfying than the last Saint Etienne album Words and Music, but it’s all in cozy, safe territory.

N

either completely a naïve outsider nor calculating attention-seeker, Willis Earl Beal is positioned at some unknown place between those poles, with a twisty and turbulent background that sometimes overshadows his music.

Also twisty and turbulent are the stylistic changes in his music that have occurred in just a few years, making the Willis Earl Beal heard on his low-fidelity home recordings on Acousmatic Sorcery very far away from his latest full-length album, Noctunes.

After the stripped-down, messy and pondering sketches of Acousmatic Sorcery, Beal found himself backed with a rock combo and strings and duetting with Cat Power on his follow-up, Nobody Knows in 2013, with diversions like the Tom Waits-esque junkyard stomp “Too Dry to Cry.” Noctunes follows in the path of his self-released Experiments in Time, and both

efforts mark his geographic transition from New York City to Washington state and offer a more soothing, uniform soul sound.

With a typical song utilizing sustained synth notes and minimal percussion from a drum machine, there is not a shred of irony, and if anything, there is more clarity and cohesion in his work than ever before. Here, the center of attention is squarely on Beal’s voice, and indeed, he can deliver the goods without having to mask any imperfections through studio wizardry.

Although mostly serene, there are subtly disquieting features at play, like the low atonal drones on the opening track, “Under You.” Emotional wringing is evident throughout Noctunes, like on the moving “Flying So Low,” and the straightforward earnestness of the lyrics might be unexpected for today’s detached listeners—although lines like “I told myself I was normal inside” in “Lust” could have a place on misfit teens’ Tumblr posts.

Occasionally, Beal will raise his voice to reach Teddy Pendergrass-esque forcefulness, like on the peak of “Start Over,” and he seems to be betting it all here, sacrificing quirky music diversity for a spotlight on his vocal ability.

Saturday, August 29th 2 PM to 7 PM East Lake Park and Duck Pond 3000 E. 34th Street Over a DOzEn MuSic & DAncE ActS. Food trucks, Vendors, community Support Groups, Art 120's Art Bikes, Games and more.

Sponsored by: Warren Mackey, JD Helton Roofing, Home Solutions, Mortgage investors Group, Stewed wArt cottage, & Summitt Pianos

elakeneighbors.org

Every Wednesday 4pm-6pm

Locally & Sustainably Raised Foods 325 East Main Street on Chattanooga’s Southside mainstfarmersmarket.com

$10 Ladies Day Special every Monday 4115 Shallowford Rd www.superiorhandcarwash.com

chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 27

Free Will Astrology

“ What new title, degree, award, or perk will you have two years from today that you don’t have now? Testify at FreeWillAstrology. com

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): At least for now, I suggest you suspend the quest for order and refinement and perfection. The wise course of action is to disengage from your fascination with control, and instead give yourself to the throbbing, erratic pulse of the Cosmic Wow. Why? If you do, you will be able to evolve faster than you thought possible. Your strength will come from agile curiosity and an eagerness to experiment. Do you remember when you last explored the catalytic wonders of spontaneity and unpredictability? Do it again!

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): This is the deepest, darkest phase of your cycle. The star that you will ultimately make a wish upon has not yet risen.

Your pet monsters seem to have forgotten for the moment that they are supposed to be your allies, not your nemeses. Smoke from the smoldering embers in your repressed memories is blending with the chill night fog in your dreams, making your life seem like a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside a taco. Just kidding about that last part. I wanted to see if your sense of humor is intact, because if it is, you will respond resiliently to all the cosmic jokes in your upcoming tests.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): According to the poet Rainer Maria Rilke, here’s what God says to each of us: “Go the limits of your longing . . . Flare up like flame and make big shadows that I can move in. Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.” Whether or not you’re on speaking terms with the Creator, this is excellent advice.

It’s time to give everything you have and take everything you need. Hold nothing back and open yourself as wide and wild as you dare. Explore the feeling of having nothing to lose and expect the arrivals of useful surprises.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work. It’s all in the stars.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The sun and the expansive planet Jupiter are currently making a joyful noise

28 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

rob brezsny

in the sign of Virgo, which is your astrological House of Career and Ambition. This does not necessarily mean that a boon to your career and ambition will fall into your lap, although such an event is more likely than usual. More importantly, this omen suggests that you will influence luck, fate, and your subconscious mind to work in your favor if you take dramatic practical action to advance your career and ambitions.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): On August 28, 1963, Capricorn hero Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. delivered his “I Have a Dream” speech to a crowd of thousands in Washington, D.C. In that address, he imagined what it might look like if African Americans were free of the bigotry and oppression they had endured for centuries at the hands of white Americans. In accordance with your astrological potentials, I encourage you to articulate your own “I Have a Dream” vision sometime soon. Picture in detail the successful stories you want to actualize in the future.

Visualize the liberations you will achieve and the powers you will obtain.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): If you have been patiently waiting for a propitious moment to buy a new yacht, pledge your undying love, or get a tattoo that depicts Buddha wrestling Satan, now is as close as you’ll get to that propitious moment, at least for a while.

Even if you have merely been considering the possibility of signing a year-long lease, asking a cute mischief-maker on a date, or posting an extra-edgy meme on Facebook or Twitter, the next three weeks would be prime time to strike. Diving into a deep, heart-crazed commitment is sometimes a jangly process for you Aquarians, but these days it might be almost smooth and synchronistic.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Ready for a ritual?

Get a piece of paper and a pen. Light a candle, take three deep breaths, and chant “YUMMMM” five times. Then spend ten minutes writing down the qualities you would like your

perfect lover to possess. Identify both the traits that would make this person unique and the behavior he or she would display toward you. Got that?

When you are finished, burn the list you made. Disavow everything you wrote. Pledge to live for at least seven months without harboring fixed beliefs about what your ideal partner should be like. Instead, make yourself extra receptive to the possibility that you will learn new truths about what you need. Why? I suspect that love has elaborate plans for you in the next two years. You will be better prepared to cooperate with them if you are initially free of strong agendas.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You like to run ahead of the pack. You prefer to show people the way, to set the pace. It’s cleaner that way, right?

There’s less risk you will be caught up in the messy details of everyday compromise. But I suspect that the time is right for you to try an experiment: Temporarily ease yourself into the middle of the pack. Be willing to deal with the messy details of everyday compromise. Why? Because it will teach you lessons that will serve you well the next time you’re showing the way and setting the pace.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Are you ready to revise your ideas about how love works?

Would you consider re-evaluating your relationship to romance, your approach to intimacy, and your understanding of sex? I hope you will not only be willing but also excited to do these things. Now is a favorable time to make changes that will energize your love life with a steady flow of magic for months to come. To get the party started, brainstorm about experiments you could try to invigorate the dynamics of togetherness. Make a list of your customary romantic strategies, and rebel against them all.

Speak sexy truths that are both shocking and endearing.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Querencia is a Spanish word with many nuances. At its simplest, it refers to your favorite spot, a place where you

long to be. But its meaning can go even deeper. Querencia may be a sanctuary where you feel safe and authentic, or a situation that enables you to draw on extra reserves of strength and courage. It’s a special kind of home: an empowering shelter that makes you feel that you belong in this world and love your life. Can you guess where I’m going with this message, Gemini? These days you need to be in your querencia even more than usual. If you don’t have one, or if you don’t know where yours is, formulate a fierce intention to locate it.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The art of effective communication consists of knowing both what to say and what not to say. It’s not enough to simply find the words that accurately convey your meaning. You have to tailor your message to the quirks of your listeners. For example, let’s say you want to articulate the process that led you to change your mind about an important issue. You would use different language with a child, an authority figure, and a friend.

Right? I think you are currently at the peak of your abilities to do this well, Cancerian. Take full advantage of your fluency.

Create clear, vivid impressions that influence people to like you and help you.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Arthur Conan Doyle first used the term “smoking gun” in a story he wrote over a century ago. It referred to a time the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes burst into a room to find a man holding a pistol that had just been fired, along with the fallen body of a man who had been shot. Since then, the meaning of “smoking gun” has expanded. Now it’s any piece of evidence that serves as compelling proof of a certain hypothesis. If you can’t find the cookie you left in the kitchen, and your roommate walks by with cookie crumbs on his chin, it’s the smoking gun that confirms he pilfered your treat. I believe this is an important theme for you right now. What question do you need answered? What theory would you like to have corroborated? The smoking gun will appear.

Jonesin’ Crossword

matt jones

“O for Two”—singles only, please.

ACROSS 1 Place for a nap 5 Part of a sequence?

10 Georgetown athlete 14 Jai ___ 15 Specialty 16 Nursing school subj.

17 Comment about all-soloist concerts?

20 Critter with a pouch 21 “___ Like It” 22 “Fuel” performer DiFranco 23 Audiophile’s collection, perhaps 25 Slanted printing style 27 Haulers that repel everyone?

33 Wrinkly dog 34 Half a new wave group?

35 “Rashomon” director Kurosawa 39 Like fine wine 41 Member of the peerage 43 Flying solo 44 Shaun, for one

46 Eugene of travel guides 48 8 1/2” x 11” size, for short 49 Say “I guess we’ll take DiCaprio”?

52 Disappear into thin air 55 “Sweet” Roman numeral?

56 Yes, at the altar 57 Hit the weights, maybe 61 “At the Movies” cohost 65 “O.K., pontoon, I hear ya loud and clear”?

68 Succulent plant 69 Bawl out 70 Brockovich of lawsuit fame 71 Grateful Dead bassist Phil 72 Pang of pain 73 Pineapple packager DOWN 1 Pocketed, as a pool ball

2 Butter substitute 3 Bean mentioned in “The Silence of the Lambs” 4 “Do the Right Thing” Oscar nominee Danny 5 Hereditary helix 6 “Club Can’t Handle Me” rapper Flo ___ 7 Old French coins 8 “Hey sailor!”

9 Biographical bit 10 Hawaiian pizza ingredient 11 Shaq’s surname 12 “Live at the Acropolis” New Ager 13 Overhead storage 18 Breakneck 19 “Straight ___ Compton” 24 Brush-off 26 Wants to know 27 Hot springs 28 Julia’s “Notting Hill” costar 29 S-shaped molding 30 Botanical transplant 31 Marcia’s mom

32 Battery’s negative terminal 36 “___ be sweet!”

37 Flat fee 38 Farming prefix 40 ‘50s sitcom name 42 L.A. hardcore punk band with the 1994 album “Punk in Drublic” 45 Green sauce 47 Moved about 50 Pushing force 51 Like corduroy and, um... (hey, get your mind out of the gutter!)

52 Crucial 53 “Chasing Pavements” singer 54 Cautionary list 58 Aqueduct feature 59 “Frankenstein” helper 60 ___ contendere (court plea) 62 100 cents, in Cyprus 63 Agitate 64 Actress Daly 66 Disgusted utterance 67 Dedicatory verse

Copyright © 2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 0742 chattanoogapulse.com • august 27-september 2 • The Pulse • 29

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished Officer Alex takes issue with a columnist’s view of “positive” cop stories

“

There is a human being out there that believes if you express approval of a genuinely good deed done by a police officer in any kind of public manner, you are a ‘racist.’

Period.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

is an interesting approach, I In an interesting twist, I thought. Approach to what, cannot tell this week’s story I had no idea, but it had me, without quoting someone so I continued reading. else’s. It’s all about “con“We need to keep the text,” you see. Well, and facts about police brutalbeing a Complete Nimrod. ity against black and brown Allow me to explain. people in the forefront of Heather Denkmire is a our awareness. We must not special contributor to the cloud the Bangor Daily issue with News who feel-good submitted a stories about column earliALEX TEACH the police. er this month “Just because there are titled “The false message from stories about police officers those ‘good cop’ stories? Things who aren’t pinning innocent aren’t so bad.” people to the ground, shootBeing a cop, naturally the ing them, choking them only thing I can read is the or tasering them to death dosage for my steroid injecdoesn’t mean those ‘positions, sports scores and captive’ stories need to take tions for “Guns and Ammo” up any of our public space,” pictures, but I was feeling Denkmire stated. adventurous since tonight’s Now I just smiled. This dogfighting match was canwas a fascinating approach celed and the NSM meetto race-baiting on a more ing the night before was a direct level than I’ve ever complete bust. seen, and for that alone I “When I saw a flurry of respected it. “Clouding stories being shared on the issue with ‘feel-good Facebook about police ofstories’?” “Positive stories ficers doing kind things,” take up public space”? She Denkmire started out, “I owned it. No one’s ever been felt sick to my stomach. “taser’d” to death that I’m Every ‘this cop helped the aware of so she wasn’t even pregnant woman put on her letting the truth get in the license tags instead of givway of her version of the ing her a ticket’ or ‘this cop truth, and THAT, ladies helped a puppy’ story mutes and gentlemen, is committhe larger issues of police ment. violence against black and Then, I got to her closing brown people.” statement and my new hapI raised an eyebrow. This

On The Beat

30 • The Pulse • august 27-september 2, 2015 • chattanoogapulse.com

py thoughts were silenced in a way—or by a means— I never thought possible.

(Again, this story can’t be fairly told without quoting it for context.)

“If you feel bad for the cops who you think might be lumped in with all the awful ones,” Denkmire opined, “by all means, write a note to your local police department thanking its officers for their service.

Support one of the agency’s charity efforts.

On a personal level, and quietly, go ahead and let them know you think they are doing good work. But every time you ‘like’ or ‘share’ these news stories about non-violent cops on social media you are saying by implication—even if it’s not what you believe— ‘I think black and brown lives matter less than white lives.’”

I actually just sat there for a second, unable to fully process this...and I am one of four documented people that totally kept up with the movie “Inception” from beginning to end. (I didn’t even need to see if the totem kept spinning in the end or anything. Boom.)

There is a human being out there that believes if you express approval of a genuinely good deed done by a police officer in any kind of public manner, you are a “racist.” Period.

As a cop, I’m a racist no matter what. I get it. If I wear pants? Racist. Check

my mirrors while driving?

Racist. Put on my boots?

Forgetaboutit, I’m the illegitimate child of David Duke and Byron De La Beckwith. I totally accept this after years of being told so. But to accuse John or Jane Doe Citizen of such for simply publicly expressing approval of a cop helping someone cross a street or fixing a flat tire? (Seriously, read the column.)

Am I mad at her? No. But I do believe that thanks to acts of assery like this, we as a society have finally crossed some invisible demarcation line that may just finally lead to the end of documenting actual racism, and that is not a good thing. Add too much water, and Kool-Aid isn’t Kool-Aid anymore; it’s watery red (or purple) stuff that nobody wants to give the time of day.

You can be a radical. “Extremism” is the new bla…is the new popular thing, I get it, but there really is a tipping point when you stop helping, and start hurting.

Badly.

This lady? I suspect that was some time back, because she’s just charting new territories of dumb with this kind of incendiary nonsense, but the rest of you can hold the line.

Until then? Let’s keep this to my boots and drawing of air. Let the citizens appreciate good deeds publicly while they are still “allowed to.”

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