The Pulse 17.12 » March 19, 2020

A NEW BEGINNING • THEATRICAL DIVERSITY • THE SHOW MUST GO ON

PULITZER PRIZE NOMINEE HAS WON ALL THE HEARTS OF CHATTANOOGA WALKER’S LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENTS ON AND AROUND AUDUBON ACRES

VOLUME 17, ISSUE 12 | MARCH 19, 2020

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BREWER MEDIA GROUP President & Publisher James Brewer, Sr. THE PULSE Managing Editor Gary Poole gary@chattanoogapulse.com Assistant Editor Jessie Gantt-Temple

Contents

VOLUME 17, ISSUE 12 • MARCH 19, 2020

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Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Art Director Kelly Lockhart Editorial Interns Halley Andrews Lindsey Clute

Founded 2003

by Zachary Cooper & Michael Kull THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue. The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2020 by Brewer Media.

All rights reserved.

Robert Sparks Walker is perhaps best known as the founder of the Chattanooga Audubon Society. His significance to conservation efforts led the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation to name their Lifetime Achievement Award the Robert Sparks Walker Award.

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THE SHOW MUST GO ON

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A TRUE RENAISSANCE MAN

Senior VP of Sales Lisa Yockey-Rice lisay@brewermediagroup.com Office 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com Facebook @chattanoogapulse

ROBERT SPARKS WALKER

I’ve been writing about local music since 1999. It has been a very rare opportunity to combine a great love of writing with a great love of music and I have never taken for granted how lucky I am to have that opportunity. Whether my writing has ever been good or bad isn’t for me to say.

One night, years ago, firefighter Charles Patterson found himself trapped in a building in St. Elmo which was fully engulfed in flames. His oxygen tank snagged on a railing and he inadvertently got separated from his partner. Stuck, surrounded by flames, Charles had nothing but the hose in his hand.

4 FROM THE EDITOR

7 EDITOONS

16 FILM & TELEVISION

5 THE BOWL

7 JONESIN' CROSSWORD

17 THE LIST

5 CONSIDER THIS

12 MUSIC REVIEWS

6 SHADES OF GREEN

13 FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

18 ON THE BEAT

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 19, 2020 • THE PULSE • 3

FROM THE EDITOR

Not An Ending, But A Beginning The Pulse ends one era and begins a new one...with your help

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T IS WITH A HEAVY HEART THAT WE ARE ANNOUNCING that we will be suspending publication of The Pulse after this week’s issue. Last Wednesday, after talking with our senior management team and ownership, there was a collective decision this was the best move for the company.

By Gary Poole Pulse Managing Editor

“

The Pulse has been a vital part of this community for 17 years, and we sincerely hope that it will continue to be part of the fabric in the future.”

It was a little over eleven years ago when Brewer Media acquired The Pulse.

Over the years the product evolved into what it is today.

Given the current situation in the nation and the immediate losses to the entertainment and dining industries, which are a key element of The Pulse, we have decided to cease the printed publication.

We also have a social responsibility to our readers in not encouraging people to attend events, per current CDC recommendations.

This was not a decision taken lightly.

Just over sixteen years ago, a small group of people with a dream introduced a new publication to Chattanoo-

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ga. A weekly alternative newspaper that promised to keep its finger on the “pulse” of Chattanooga.

And so, The Pulse was born.

Under the leadership of co-founders Zach Cooper and Michael Kull, and the editorial direction of Bill Colrus, The Pulse quickly found a place in our fast-changing city.

With an often irreverent attitude and style, those early trailblazers gathered together an eclectic group of contributors to take a fresh look at Chattanooga. Our people, our music, our art, and our culture.

And from the very first issue, which (correctly) forecast the rebirth of the Southside from urban blight to today’s vibrant community, The Pulse has never shied away from telling intriguing stories.

Nor has it shied away from telling stories that others might not want told or were unable (for any number of reasons) to tell themselves.

In the nearly two decades since, I

am inordinately proud of the fantastic and talented writers and illustrators who have graced these pages week in and week out.

Our coverage of the local music, arts, theater, food, drink, and cultural scenes has shined a bright light on an ever-expanding group of incredibly talented people who have made this city one of the best--and more creative--cities not just in the Southeast, but in the country.

And yet, through circumstance beyond our control, even the best of things have to come an end.

So what does this mean for the future? We are exploring ways to keep elements of The Pulse going, either online or with features on the radio stations we share a building with and their websites. We are also considering station apps or podcasts.

There are many opportunities and many great ideas being brainstormed both in our offices and around town.

We will be continuing discussions on the best way to do this over the next several weeks. We are not going away so much as we are evolving to embrace a new reality.

The Pulse has been a vital part of this community for seventeen years, and we sincerely hope that it will continue to be part of the fabric of Chattanooga in the future.

If you have any questions, concerns, ideas or suggestions, please feel free to email me at gary@chattanoogapulse.com. I look forward to hearing from you, the loyal reader who has made The Pulse an integral part of this community.

CITY LIFE · THE BOWL

Getting Canned Preserving ancient techniques in modern times What does a prepper and my grandmother have in common?

They know how to take fresh food and preserve it through the old method of canning. Well, actually my grandmother was not at all like that. She was a bingo-playing, Marlboro-smoking granny who spent little time in the kitchen.

Once grocery stores and fast food consumed what America consumes, the tradition of canning left home kitchens. So, the ancient ways were not taught to my parents and therefore didn’t make its way down the generations.

Thankfully Crabtree Farms is hosting a canning series consisting of four classes: Canning 101; Berry-licious Preserves; Tomatoes, TomAtoes; How Do You Like Dem Apples. These classes will occur every other month on a Friday from 6 to 8 p.m. On March 27th, Canning 101 kicks off the handson classes teaching participants the basics of water bath canning, pressure canning, quick pickling

and everyone will leave with a jar of safely sealed deliciousness.

While pandemonium is rampant, now is a good time to build a skill that can become a tradition as well as provide for your loved ones. Imagine, going to pick your own blueberries or apples in summer then canning them to enjoy them in a pie during the cold winter months. The fond memories will feed your spirit as much as the local, sustainable sweetness will feed your belly.

Not only does canning provide for a mentally and emotionally stimulating life it allows each of us

to take physical ownership of what we are eating. It’s comforting to know your cucumber salsa doesn’t have unnecessary sugar in it or your grape juice doesn’t contain xanthan gum.

Without knowing what the future holds, the Crabtree canning classes are operating until further notice and tickets may be purchased at their website crabtreefarms.org.

If you sign up with a friend, you get a discount. If you’re interested in signing up for more than one class, call Melissa Astin at 423493-9155 ext.10 and get ten percent off. — Jessie Gantt-Temple

Cons ider This w ith Dr. Rick “He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much.” — Bessie A. Stanley I dedicate the following poem to my loyal, warm-hearted and enthusiastic readers who, for well over a decade, have read, responded and remembered my words on these pages.

I wish love and light, health and happiness, and all good things to you!

“To laugh often and love much; To win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; To earn the approbation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty; To find the best in others; To give of one’s self; To leave the world a little better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; To have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 19, 2020 • THE PULSE • 5

COLUMN · JUST A THEORY

DON’T PANIC!

There's a schooling of "zoonoses" on the loose

Steven W. Disbrow Pulse columnist

“

‘Social Distancing’ was the hardest pill to swallow. It caused great economic turmoil and led to the closing of many businesses, with the arts and lowwage worker communities being hit especially hard.”

Steven W. Disbrow is a programmer who specializes in e-commerce and mobile systems development, an entrepreneur, comic-book nerd, writer, improviser, actor, sometime television personality and parent of two human children.

“OKAY, EVERYONE, TAKE YOUR SEATS …now, today is the 50th anniversary of the development of the COVID-19 vaccine. So, I thought we’d use today’s class to discuss the Pandemic of 2020, the lessons that were learned, and how it relates to today’s world. Now, who can tell me how the pandemic started?

Rogers?”

“Uh, somebody ate a bat?”

“Actually, the original vector for the virus was never determined but we do know it came from some animal. What do we call a virus that crosses from one species to another? Anybody? Well, we call those things zoonotic or, if you are talking about more than one, zoonoses.”

“Now, what were the symptoms of COVID-19? Anybody? I…alright Ellie, go ahead.”

“The most common symptoms of COVID-19 were fever, tiredness, and dry cough. Some patients also had aches and pains, nasal congestion, runny nose, sore throat or diarrhea. These symptoms were usually mild and began gradually. Some people became infected but didn’t develop any symptoms and didn’t feel unwell. Most people (about 80 percent) recovered from the disease without needing special treatment.

Around one out of every six people who got COVID-19 became seriously ill and developed difficulty breathing. Older people, and those with underlying medical problems like high blood pressure, heart problems or diabetes, were more likely to develop serious illness. People with fever, cough and difficulty breathing were advised to seek medical attention immediately.”

“Did…did you memorize that?”

“From the historical section of the World Health Organization website.

Yes.” “Well. I’m impressed. If you submitted that in a paper, I’d suspect you had

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copied and pasted it and just changed the tenses of the sentences.”

“Ms. Poole! I would never do that!

It’s extremely important information that has to be presented without error, so I memorized it.”

“Well. Good for you. Moving on… what precautions were people told to take to slow the spread of the disease?”

“Um, wash their hands for five seconds?”

“Yes, but it was for twenty seconds.

Early 21st Century soaps needed that much time to be really effective. They could also use an alcohol-based hand scrub.”

“Didn’t people hoard hand scrub solutions? And, um…”

“Toilet paper. Yes. But, we’ll be discussing The Reprisals, the re-introduction of the guillotine and the universal adoption of the bidet tomorrow. What else?”

“Why did they hoard toilet paper? I thought COVID-19 was primarily a respiratory disease.”

“Honestly, nobody knows why they did that. Probably panic buying.”

“Like the panic buying of socks and thongs for COVID-65?”

“Yes, I suppose so. Back to the question: What other precautions were people told to take? Jenkins?”

“Err, self… love?”

“Ew!” “Gross!”

“Calm down everyone! I think what Mr. Jenkins meant to say was ‘Social Distancing.’ An awkward phrase that simply meant keeping to oneself. And, if you had to go out in public keeping at least three feet between yourself and everyone around you.”

“Three feet?”

“Oops. I meant one meter. Two meters was even better. Sorry. I’ve been binge-watching ‘Historical Blunders’ and I stopped with the ‘Obsolete Mea-

surement Systems’ episode last night.”

“By most accounts, ‘Social Distancing’ was the hardest pill to swallow. It caused great economic turmoil and led to the closing of many businesses, with the arts and low-wage worker communities being hit especially hard. In many cases world governments had to step in to prop up wages and enforce curfews and travel restrictions. But, it helped to slow the spread of the disease to the point where hospitals could deal with the influx of patients…right. What else?”

“Avoid touching your face?”

“Yes! Hands are particularly fond of picking up viruses and COVID-19 was surprisingly good at surviving on surfaces outside the human body. Plus, the human head is literally full of holes, so touching your face was a great way to shove the virus directly into your body.

What else?”

“Sneeze into your elbow, or a tissue?”

“And throw that tissue away immediately, yes.”

“Stay at home if you were sick?”

“Yes…” “Ms. Poole…am I missing something?

Aren’t these just common sense measures?”

“Yes. But, people have a tendency to spread misinformation when they are panicked and, well, COVID-19 caused a bit of a panic. So lots of people did the wrong things and the disease spread much further and faster than it should have but once people calmed down and began to follow those simple steps, things turned around pretty quickly.”

“Well, that’s all the time we have for today. Before we get into guillotines tomorrow, we’ll have a quiz on COVID-19. If you want to pass, I’d recommend you review the COVID-19 section of the World Health Organization web site at WHO.int. It has everything ever learned about the Pandemic of 2020.

Class dismissed.”

EDITOONS

JONESIN' CROSSWORD

“Freeducation”—a freestyle puzzle for now.

ACROSS 1 Rotary phone parts 8 Whip holders?

15 Hoppy “New England-style” brew 16 System that includes emoji 17 Invited up 18 Compliment after getting out of bed?

19 _ _ _ Bhabie (rapper first known as the “Cash Me Outside” girl from “Dr. Phil”) 20 Precipice 22 Indian curry dish 23 _ _ _ Dems (U.K. political party, informally) 24 Fictional Marner 26 Achievement 27 Neighbor of British Columbia 30 Like birthday celebrants 32 Letters in some Baptist church names 33 Most sound 35 They may have chains and locks 37 Pic off a monitor?

39 1960s TV spy thriller with a 1997 movie remake 42 Site for ants or bumps?

46 Slick stuff 47 Dreadlocked one, maybe 49 Like some fast-food chicken sandwiches 50 Returning grad 52 Flashlight battery 54 Alternate spelling abbr.

55 Anwar who shared a Nobel Peace Prize 57 Deep-sea killer 58 Sister of Poseidon 59 Secure firmly 61 Dazed 63 Not consistent 64 The “devil’s interval” in music (heard in “The Simpsons” theme) 65 Took once more, like a white elephant gift 66 Pieces of Sanskrit religious literature

DOWN 1 Dry white wine 2 Jones who played Angie Tribeca 3 Keep showing up in a book and film series?

4 Turned from white to pink, maybe 5 Pot top 6 Big pictures?

7 Company behind Hello Kitty 8 “You’re a better man than I am” poem 9 “Allergic to Water” singer DiFranco 10 Travel expert Steves 11 Words before Base or spades 12 Quit messing around 13 Japanese appetizer 14 Advisory councils 21 Healed up 25 Dry, as Italian wine 28 Former New York Jets owner Leon

29 Muppet whose tweets often end with “Scram!”

31 “_ _ _ Hope” (1980s ABC soap) 34 Three-note chord 36 Machine that helps with sleep apnea 38 Fix firmly in place 39 “Wide slot” device 40 “Cautionary Tales for Children” author Belloc 41 Evasive sorts 43 Enjoy immensely 44 Instrument in a “Legend of Zelda” title 45 Spins around 48 “Little Women” author 51 Furious with 53 Actress Linney of “Kinsey” 56 “Africa” band 58 “So _ _ _” (Kid Rock song) 60 Wheaton of “The Big Bang Theory” 62 Malleable metal

Copyright © 2020 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents perminute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 980 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 19, 2020 • THE PULSE • 7

COVER STORY

Pulitzer Prize Nominee Has Won All The Hearts Of Chattanooga Walker’s lifetime achievements on and around Audubon Acres

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OBERT SPARKS WALKER IS PERHAPS BEST KNOWN AS the founder of the Chattanooga Audubon Society. His significance to conservation efforts led the Tennessee Department of Environment and Conservation to name their Lifetime Achievement Award the Robert Sparks Walker Award.

By Ray Zimmerman Pulse contributor

A few people are still alive who remember participating in his nature walks and learning about birds, flowers, and trees under his instruction. His literary achievements are perhaps the least well known of his accomplishments.

He began writing freelance articles while still in high school. He went on to have one of his books nominated for a Pulitzer Prize. At age 22, he acquired fifty percent ownership of the

Southern Fruit Grower magazine. He served as editor and publisher of that magazine from 1900 until its sale in 1921. He later served as Nature Editor of Flower Grower magazine.

Walker had a weekly nature column in the Chattanooga Times beginning in 1933. The Chattanooga Audubon Society has a partial collection of these articles titled “Nature Answers: 1940 to 1950”. The copy is available for viewing, with permission, at the Audubon Acres property.

Though only two of Walkers books remain in print, copies of many

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more are preserved in the Local History Department of the Chattanooga Public Library. A search via the web page worldcat.org revealed copies of Walker’s writings available at libraries nationwide, including The Library of Congress, the Tennessee State Library and Archives, and the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga library.

Walker’s first published book, “Anchor Poems”, appeared in 1925, followed by a second book of verse, “My Fathers Farm”, in 1927. By extolling the rural life, Walker found his audience and his audience loved his work.

On a visit to the Boston public library, he learned that “My Father’s Farm” was so popular they kept it on closed reserve, only available for reading on the premises. He related that story in his later book, “As the Indians Left It”.

The poems speak of cowbells and mockingbirds with a clover covered

hillside at the center of one poem.

“The Coming of the Snows” presents a world transformed. His love of the land appears to have been boundless.

In the final poem, “The Farm Incarnated” he describes himself as not a resident of the farm but as one infused with its very essence. It ends with these two lines: I am the incarnation here, Of father’s farm I loved so dear!

Walker was also active in bird conservation. In 1930, Wyman Reed Green published, “The Banding of Chimney Swifts in Chattanooga” with Robert Sparks Walker listed in card catalogs as an “other author”. This article appeared in a journal titled Bird Banding, July 1930, Volume I. The Chattanooga Public Library has a bound offprint of the article which includes a photo of Walker placing a band on a swift.

Walker had a growing reputation as an author and editor when, at age 53, he published “Torchlights to the Cherokees” (Macmillan, 1931). He spent several weeks examining relevant materials in the files of the American Board of Commissioners for Foreign Missions at the Andover-Harvard Theological Library to complete it. The Pulitzer Prize nomination for that book accelerated his career, though he did not win the award which went to General Pershing’s memoirs.

In this book he described the Brainerd mission, named for David Brainerd, a missionary to the Leni Lenape Indians. All that remains of that mission today is a cemetery near Eastgate

Town Center. The mission gave its name to both Brainerd Road and the part of Chattanooga known as Brainerd. Walker published several articles on the mission and organized a cleanup and a memorial service at the site.

Today, the mission is commemorated in an annual event sponsored by the Daughters of the American Revolution, current owners of the cemetery.

One of Walkers scrapbooks, “The Brainerd Mission: A Collection of Magazine and Newspaper Articles”, is archived at the Chattanooga Public Library. The scrapbook includes a previous shorter work titled “A Brief Story of an Old Mission”. As noted in the text, Cokesbury Press of Nashville published it in serial format.

“Torchlights to the Cherokees” was a springboard for Walker’s literary efforts. He rode this wave of success to publish a young adult novel, “The Beechblock Circus” and a collection of short stories, “Eating Thunder and Other Stories”.

He was unable to publish these two works before the nomination. He then also published two additional books of poetry, and a series of booklets promoting the City of Chattanooga and its economic growth.

In 1933, the Cumberlands Hiking Club, which Walker stated he founded, published “Outdoors in the Cumberlands”. Members of the club authored articles on geology, archaeology, fungi, wildflowers, and other natural features found along the trails.

Robert Sparks Walker edited the book as well as wrote the introduction and four of the chapters. Library catalogs list him as an “other author.” The Cumberlands Hiking Club continued to offer hiking and volunteer opportunities for several years.

One of Walkers promotional booklets for the city appeared in 1939. The Chattanooga Community Association published “Opportunity for Health, Happiness, and Prosperity in the Chat-

tanooga District” and it includes extensive photography.

He returned to book length nonfiction in 1941 with “Lookout: The Story of a Mountain” which begins with the geology of the mountain and continues through human habitation.

Another book length work, “As the Indians Left It” included charming stories of childhood life on the farm and documents the early days of the Chattanooga Audubon Society and the sanctuary. The introduction includes his boyhood memories of sighting passenger pigeons, a species which became extinct during his lifetime.

His third book of poetry, “When God Failed” revisits the religious topics of “Anchor Poems” and begins with a poem in which he describes himself and his son Wendell visiting his wife Sarah’s grave shortly after her death.

They find solace in wildflowers growing on a hillside nearby. It ends with a poem about his expected reunion with his family after his death.

Walker’s final book of poetry was

“State Flowers and State Birds: Being an Authentic Record of the Official Flowers and Birds of all the States of America”, published in 1950. He later added poems about the state birds and flowers of the newly added states, Alaska and Hawaii. The revised edition appeared in 1960, making it his last published book.

Walker also assisted in the production of at least one nature film and produced several “Illustrated Slide Talks.” He made numerous radio and television appearances.

Walker was a meticulous keeper of scrapbooks. Mary Bell Fisher mentions having examined “The Walker Scrapbooks” in her 1938 thesis for the Master of Arts Degree at Peabody College of Education. A typewritten copy of the thesis is shelved in the local history department of the Chattanooga Public Library.

I have been fortunate to have examined the Southern Fruit Grower scrapbook at the Tennessee State Library and Archives in Nashville. A guard

provided a key to a locker since no extraneous items are permitted in the archival portion of the library. Pencils are permitted and the archivist provided a pair of white cotton gloves to minimize the impact of examining the document and loose-leaf paper for notes, one sheet at a time.

The scrapbook includes correspondence Walker received relevant to his role as editor and publisher of the Southern Fruit Grower magazine.

The letters offered thanks for copies received, as well as accolades stating how the magazine had benefitted the recipients in business.

A few included subscription renewals, many from government agencies which stated the value of the magazine for agriculture and horticulture in their respective states. Those from academic institutions stated its value for their students. One of the correspondents was noted agriculturist Luther Burbank.

For further information on the years Walker spent editing Southern Fruit Grower, consult the early chapters of “Robert Sparks Walker: The Unconventional Life of an East Tennessee Naturalist” by his granddaughter, Alexandra Walker Clark.

According to this biography, Walker was born in the log cabin on the property now known as Audubon Acres. He is buried near that cabin, with his wife Sarah Elberta Clark Walker (1892– 1924) and son Robert Sparks Walker, Jr (1907–1915).

Robert Sparks Walker and Sarah Elberta Clark were married in 1904.

Sarah’s death in 1924 made Walker the single parent of their second son, Wendell Clark Walker (1909–1988), then aged fourteen years.

In 1960, Walker suffered a heart attack while leading a nature walk on the Audubon Acres property. He was taken to his home where he received medical care but then he died the following day at age eighty-two.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 19, 2020 • THE PULSE • 9

THE MUSIC SCENE

As Always, The Show Must Go On One voice silenced, another gets louder

Embracing Emotions It’s in crazy times like the present we could all use a bit of hope—hope for the future, for the unknown, and for the unprecedented times that are constantly changing.

But occasionally, we all enjoy a sad song to help cope when the timing is appropriate.

Amy LaVere will be here to contribute, by bringing her ever-steady Americana roots as well as her unpredictable nature, to The Woodshop this Saturday along with the accompaniment of Will Sexton on guitar.

The duo has performed together many times and each time falls nothing short of a perfect blend. Together, they force the emotion from the depths of your soul and pull you in with each preciously haunting beat.

Amy and Will can level with you about loss and the feeling of despair as their raw messages celebrate emotions that are often avoided, acknowledging it’s okay to let your guard down and embrace reality.

Ruthless with the lyrics and tone of her voice, Amy tells it how it is and is not going to hold back.

Doors open at 8:30 p.m. and the music starts at 9 p.m. Come ready for an intimate performance as you allow Amy and Will’s music to speak to you. All you need to do is be willing to listen. — Lindsey Clute

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’VE BEEN WRITING ABOUT LOCAL MUSIC SINCE 1999. IT HAS BEEN a very rare opportunity to combine a great love of writing with a great love of music and I have never taken for granted how lucky I am to have that opportunity.

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

“

The artistic community in our fair city is more family than community, and we do indeed look out for one another.”

Whether my writing has ever been good or bad isn’t for me to say, but I have taken some pride in believing that I get to make some small contribution to the musical community by ceaselessly promoting the up-and-comers, the hometown heroes, the old guard, the new guard, the venues, and anyone who ever had the nerve to pick up an instrument or step up to a mic.

I’ve been a musician myself for over thirty years and I can tell you that it is a hard row to hoe. The odds are

overwhelmingly against you, the gallery is filled to the rafters with naysayers and amateur sociopaths who take delight in the troubles and tribulations of anyone trying to do more than they themselves have done.

If they aren’t rooting for you to fail, they’re looking for a way to take advantage of you. Harsh, but it’s true, so yes, I DO take pride in rooting for the home team, in being an ally to a community that has all too few allies outside of itself.

I’ve written for a variety of

Marc T. Michael fronting The Molly Maguires

publications, but the lion’s share has been for The Pulse and I am likewise proud of that. In terms of being a slick, well-made publication serving the artistic community, The Pulse has been one of the best I’ve been associated with and I admit, it is a sad day to know this paper may no longer grace my guitar-playing mangled fingertips.

I have no doubt something new will arise to fill the much-needed role The Pulse has played, but for now I want to take this final opportunity to share a few things learned from the stage.

It’s worth it.

It’s worth the aggravation, degradation, struggle, stress, headaches, and heartaches. It’s worth it. When you’re starting out or even if you’re on your tenth project, sometimes it doesn’t seem like it.

You almost assuredly won’t be rich or famous. Hell, you’ll be doing well to break even much of the time. But if it’s in you to play music (or paint,

or write, or ANY creative endeavor) then you honestly don’t have much choice and you do it because you have to. Know that at the end of it all, it’s worth it.

When you see that sea of faces whether it’s twenty or two-thousand, smiling, laughing, and singing along with your happy tune, or sitting in stony silence with glistening eyes hanging on every word of the sad song, it’s worth it.

Life is a strange and beautiful thing, but it’s often hard, and when you can help a room full of people forget their troubles for a few hours, oh yes, it is worth every moment of blood, sweat, and tears you’ve poured in to your craft.

Cynical folks are too quick to miss the value of art, but human beings have been creating ever since the first proto-person banged out a rhythm on a rock or used ash and ocher to capture the image of a hunt on a cave wall.

Artistic expression has always been

with us, and always will be, because we are more than simple machines requiring fuel to operate and there are some hungers that can only be slaked with words, or notes, or images.

It may rarely receive the appreciation it deserves, but music is important work. Art is important work. It matters, and so I would leave every budding musician or old timer, every painter, writer, sculptor, every actor and actress, and dancer with this admonition: Never give up.

Never succumb to the cynics. Do what you do because, I promise, there are people who need what you have to offer, there are people who will appreciate it, and in the end, for all the misery that can come with pursuing that life, it is worth it.

I’ll see you at the shows. With any luck, I’ll see you in print again.

Whatever may come though, keep playing; the world needs you, now more than ever.

Oh, and kids…twhank you.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 19, 2020 • THE PULSE • 11

CHAD RADFORD'S RECORD REVIEWS

Shabaka & the Ancestors, Irreversible Entanglements

Shabaka & the Ancestors We Are Sent Here By History (Impulse!)

Irreversible Entanglements Who Sent You? (International Anthems)

S

student loans. The mouth, the teeth. It’s clear, the species has surpassed the point of safe return. Blood and ash will soon redefine the land.”

We Are Sent Here By History is the Impulse! debut for bandleader and tenor saxophone and clarinet player Shabaka Hutchings (Comet Is Coming, Sons of Kemet). The album resonates as the flipside to another great work of earthshaking jazz that Impulse! debuted in 1961: John Coltrane’s Africa/Brass.

But, whereas Coltrane’s vision stampedes like elephants celebrating their place on this green earth, Shabaka & the Ancestors offer a front-row seat to watch it all burn down.

The concept plays out in songs with titles such as “Behold the Deceiver”, “The Coming Of the Strange Ones”, and “Beasts Too Spoke Of Suffering”.

Hutchings, and a group of South African jazz players lock into sharp, circular melodies, volcanic rhythms, and Mthembu’s decries that he is not afraid

habaka & the Ancestors’ second coming is an Afro-futurist meditation on the end of days and what comes next. We Were Sent Here By History is a dark and ecstatic rumination on societal collapse; a survey of the damage wrought by late-stage Capitalism, and the violent means necessary to begin anew.

Sometimes destruction is a necessary means to an end of antiquated old ways. It’s a historically significant and compelling lesson emanating from the grooves of decades-old records by everyone from German industrial music pioneers Einstürzende Neubauten to the cosmic jazz of the Sun Ra Arkestra.

Shabaka & the Ancestors keep the concept fresh by communing with an ancient strain of cultural and spiritual warfare. In the album’s opening number, “They Who Must Die”, South African performance artist Siyabonga Mthembu shouts: “We are sent here by history. Burn the names. Burn the archive.

Burn the bills, burn the

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to fight. Mthembu’s words are the seeds around which the group builds its visceral arrangements. As such, the album is a pure and radial expression of the aesthetics that 2016’s Wisdom of Elders introduced.

Here, songs like “Go My Heart, Go to Heaven” find Shabaka & the Ancestors at their tension-ridden best. The song is also the group’s most measured offering—menacing and organic—giving rise to a dark ambiance that utilizes outrage as a means to liberate a world held hostage by malaise, clearing a path to a more pure way of life for humankind.

N

ear the beginning of Who Sent You?, the fever dream second offering from Irreversible Entanglements, the group’s spokenword poet, vocalist, and frontwoman Moor Mother rises from the depths of a “A Code Noir / Amina.”

The song gives rise to a slow and swinging postbop cacophony. Her voice is sharp, restrained, yet unwavering in its presence when she commands, “Stay on it.”

From the word go, Irreversible Entanglements unleashes a full-throttle free jazz and punk-fueled blow out with Who Sent You? This is reactionary music that channels power from the self and from the ether to rise above these desperate times. The five songs that make up the album ebb and flow in a current of chaos and unsettled

order, guided by a revolutionary spirit.

Chemistry is thick within the group, whose members hail from Philadelphia, New York, and Washington DC. Moor Mother’s words blend seamlessly with saxophone player Keir Neuringer, trumpet player Aquiles Navarro, double bass player Luke Stewart, and percussionist Tcheser Holmes’ interlocking movements.

Songs such as “No Más”, “Bread Out Of Stone”, and the nearly 15-minute title track unfold at a furious pace. The tangle of horns and rhythms move en masse in fugue-like bouts of pure improvisation—each player knows their bandmates’ instincts and reflexes.

It’s a silent telepathy of sorts that drives the group while expanding upon the artistic philosophies, musical intuitions, and creative legacies of the artists that inspired Irreversible Entanglements in the first place—Art Ensemble of Chicago (with whom Moor Mother collaborates on the 2019 album, We Are On the Edge), the Sun Ra Arkestra, Alice Coltrane, and Public Enemy to name a few.

Over the course of this five-song suite, the group engages free jazz turbulence with an arresting fervor. Press play and listeners have no choice but to clinch their fists, grit their teeth, and bring all of those anxieties of social, political, and existential angst into sharp focus.

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

ROB BREZSNY We interrupt your regularly scheduled horoscopes to offer insights about the virus-driven turning point that the whole world is now experiencing.

As you’ve probably guessed, all of us are being invited to re-evaluate everything we think we know about what it means to be human. I refer to this unprecedented juncture as The Tumultuous Upgrade or The Disruptive Cure. It’s fraught with danger and potential opportunities; crisis and possible breakthroughs.

And while the coronavirus is the main driving force, it won’t be the only factor. We must be ready for more Rough, Tough Healings disguised as Bumpy Challenges in the coming months.

Here’s the astrological lowdown: Throughout 2020, there’s a rare confluence of three planets in Capricorn: Pluto, Saturn, and Jupiter.

They are synergizing each other’s impacts in ways that confound us and rattle us. In the best-case scenario, they’ll also energize us to initiate brave transformations in our own personal lives as well as in our communities.

Below is a profile of each planet’s meaning.

When we are in intense and intimate relationship with Pluto—as we are now—we’re invited to dive down deeper: to see life from the soul’s perspective rather than from the ego’s; to seek wealth and meaning not as they’re defined by the material world but as they’re understood by the part of us that’s eternal. Descending into the mysterious Plutonian depths can be disruptive to our conscious beliefs and intentions, but may ultimately be profoundly regenerative.

When we are in intense and intimate relationship with Saturn, we’re invited to get more serious and focused; to register the fact that we don’t have unlimited time

and energy, but must firmly decide what’s important and what’s not.

We’re asked to be ruthlessly honest about the roles that are most likely to bring out the best in us.

When we are in intense and intimate relationship with Jupiter, we’re invited to risk growth and expansion; to take proactive responsibility for seeking the rich experiences that our souls long for; to aggressively enhance our lust for life.

Now I invite you to meditate on the potent mix of Plutonian, Saturnian, and Jupiterian energies. I encourage you to respond to the convulsion by deepening your understanding of how profoundly interconnected we all are and upgrading the way you take care of yourself, the people you love, and our natural world.

In the horoscopes below, I suggest personal shifts that will be available to you during this oncein-a-lifetime blend of planetary energies.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Your power spot may be challenged or compromised. 2. Your master plan might unravel. 3. There could be disruptions in your ability to wield your influence. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be motivated to find an even more suitable power spot. 2. A revised master plan will coalesce. 3.

You’ll be resourceful as you discover novel ways to wield your influence.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Your vision of the big picture of your life may dissipate. 2. Old reliable approaches to learning crucial lessons and expanding your mind could lose their effectiveness. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be inspired to develop an updated vision of the big picture of your life. 2. Creative new strategies for learning and expanding your mind will invigorate your personal growth.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. There may be breakdowns in communication with people you care about. 2.

Contracts and agreements could fray. 3. Sexual challenges might complicate love. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be inspired to reinvent the ways you communicate and connect. 2. Your willingness to revise agreements and contracts could make them work better for all concerned. 3. Sexual healing will be available.

For more on The Tumultuous Upgrade, go to FreeWillAstrology.com CANCER (June 21-July 22): Possible crises in the coming months: 1.

Friends and associates could change in ways that are uncomfortable for you. 2. Images and expectations that people have of you may not match your own images and expectations.

Potential opportunities: 1. If you’re intelligent and compassionate as you deal with the transformations in your friends and associates, your relationships could be rejuvenated. 2.

You might become braver and more forceful in expressing who you are and what you want.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Your job may not suit you as well as you wish.

2. A health issue could demand more of your attention than you’d like. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll take innovative action to make your job work better for you. 2. In your efforts to solve a specific health issue, you’ll upgrade your entire approach to staying healthy long-term.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Possible crises in the coming months: : 1. Love may feel confusing or unpredictable. 2. You may come up against a block to your creativity. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll be energized to generate new understandings about how to ensure that love works well for you. 2. Your frustration with a creative block will motivate you to uncover previously hidden keys to accessing creative inspiration.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. You may experience disturbances in your relationships with home and family.

2. You may falter in your ability to maintain a strong foundation. Potential opportunities: 1. Domestic disorder could inspire you to reinvent your approach to home and family, changing your life for the better. 2.

Responding to a downturn in your stability and security, you’ll build a much stronger foundation.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. There may be carelessness or a lack of skill in the ways you and your associates communicate and cultivate connectivity. 2. You may have problems

blending elements that really need to be blended. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll resolve to communicate and cultivate connectivity with a renewed panache and vigor. 2.

You’ll dream up fresh approaches to blending elements that need to be blended.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Possible crises in the coming months: 1.

Money may be problematic. 2. Your personal integrity might undergo a challenge. 3. You could get lax about translating your noble ideas into practical actions. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll find inventive solutions for boosting your wealth.

2. You’ll take steps to ensure your ethical code is impeccable. 3. You’ll renew your commitment to translating your noble ideals into practical action.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Possible crises in the coming months: You may have an identity crisis. Who are you, anyway? What do you really want? What are your true intentions?

Potential opportunity: You’ll purge self-doubts and fuzzy self-images.

You’ll rise up with a fierce determination to define yourself with clarity and intensity and creativity.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. You’ll be at risk for botched endings. 2. You may be tempted to avoid solving long-term problems whose time is up. Potential opportunities: 1. You’ll make sure all endings are as graceful and complete as possible. 2. You’ll dive in and finally resolve long-term problems whose time is up.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Possible crises in the coming months: 1. Due to worries about your self-worth, you may not accept the help and support that are available. 2. Due to worries about your self-worth, you might fail to bravely take advantage of chances to reach a new level of success. Potential opportunities: 1.

You’ll take dramatic action to enhance your sense of self-worth, empowering you to welcome the help and support you’re offered and take advantage of chances to reach a new level of success.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 19, 2020 • THE PULSE • 13

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Chattanooga’s Renaissance Man Charles Patterson leads the way toward a more diverse, professional theatre scene Chattanooga’s Own Superheroes It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s…Infinity Flux!

In the midst of the country’s medical crisis, a local comic book store is offering encouragement and entertainment to kids in the form of free comics.

“We could recall times when we were kids during emergencies, tornados and such, where reading comics was very comforting,” say the Infinity Flux crew.

The team at Infinity Flux has put together “boredom bundles” that contain at least 3 comics, and they are prepared to give them out until kids have gone back to school.

With the increasing concerns that accompany this time of national and international uncertainty, it’s important to remember children may be experiencing these anxieties too—and the people at Infinity Flux have kept our little sidekicks in mind.

“Superheroes teach us to be courageous and that things will get better. I guess that’s where the idea came from,” Infinity Flux says.

“That and knowing that beleaguered parents are having to deal with bored children who are out of school.”

Stop by the store on 3643 Hixson Pike to grab some comic books for your child or give them a call at (423) 591-5689 for any questions.

Don’t have children but still want cool comics? Free Comic Book Day is on May 2nd and is currently still scheduled. — Halley Andrews

O

NE NIGHT, YEARS AGO, FIREFIGHTER CHARLES Patterson found himself trapped in a building in St. Elmo which was fully engulfed in flames. His oxygen tank snagged on a railing and he inadvertently got separated from his partner.

By Todd Olson Pulse contributor

Stuck, surrounded by flames, Charles had nothing but the hose in his hand. Yet he walked out alive.

When he tells this story, he is solemn and serious; the word he uses most to describe this terrible night is “blessed”. Which, it turns out, is the perfect word to describe Charles, once you get to know him.

Patterson, 56, is a native Chat-

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tanoogan, a retired Captain in the fire department, and a married father of three children. He is also an artist. And not just any artist. He is a producer, playwright, actor, and director, both on stage and in film, and the most active advocate of African American theatre workers in Chattanooga.

Charles got his education at Chattanooga State and Texas A & M University, then started developing his innate creative interests. To

be clear, Charles had no formal training in the arts but he does have a remarkable self-education. Much of his early acting work connected with the church, with such influential directors such as Pearl Lindsey, Leroy Henderson, and LaFrederick Thirkill. Then after a period of discovery, Charles started leaning toward directing and producing and in about 2005, he founded Charles Patterson Productions (CPP).

The stories Patterson associates himself with also seem to be blessed; spirituality is an important theme at CPP. Though the majority of his work is with artists of color, he chafes at the term “black theatre.

“It’s not about race—it’s about universality.”

He is drawn to topics that are not unique to the black community like the nature of faith, life choices, justice, breaking patterns, personal responsibility, the nature of community, and the complexities of family life.

Who are the Chattanooga-based directors whom Charles admires most? Ricardo Morris, Shane Morrow, Sadiqua Iman, Brandalyn Shropshire, Rex and Sherry Knowles, Veatrice Conley, Lawrence Sneed, Rose Awotula Kehinde, and LaKeysha Yovette Nolan.

“Where are the actors of color?”

I have heard countless times. I asked Charles to name a few whom he considers to be the finest in the community. His list is impressive: Shelia Wofford, E’tienne Easley, Brandalyn Shropshire, Tresha MsLOL Rutledge, Rose Awotula Kehinde, Ikeko Bass, Rosina Bell, LaAnders Burns, Pamella Clark, Helen Cox, Marquis Creech, Veronique Davenport, Carmyn Eady, William Elston, Travis Johnson, Lawrence Sneed, Ternae Jordan, Jr., Stephanie Love, LaKeysha Yovette Nolan, Gloria Pogue, Lamar Flint, Kimberly Reynolds, DaResha Rice, Kevin Hayes, Darius Robinson, Donel Solomon, Rauelle Kelly, DeVon Cooper, Mateo Tibbs, Shawanna Kendrick, DeArmond Toney, Karen McReynolds,

“

Charles is dedicated to the arts and is passionate about the work. He’s passionate about the artists that are willing to do the work.”

Antonio Sanderfer, Patricia Starks, Howard Brown and Ayanna Yancey.

“I would put Chattanooga actors up against talent anywhere. That’s the talent I believe in.” Clearly, he is proud of the performers who populate CPP, many of whom he has scouted himself. Charles directs “like a football coach” as he enjoys developing actors, and is quick to pull out his phone to show a myriad of pictures from years of work, like a beaming parent.

“Charles is dedicated to the arts and is passionate about the work,” says area actress E’tienne Easley.

“He’s passionate about the artists that are willing to do the work.”

It should also be noted that Patterson self-produces and does not raise any extra money to fund CPP. And there’s another thing that separates Patterson from all other Chattanooga playmakers; Charles pays his performers for their hard work, time, and commitment.

“If I didn’t pay, I wouldn’t get the same response to auditions and I would not get the same talent,” says Patterson. “Other theatres pay directors and designers, why not the actors? I’ve heard actors say, ‘I’ve done enough free theatre, now I am ready to be compensated.’”

And though there are two other theatre companies in town who offer what might modestly be called honoraria, Patterson pays stipends between $300 and $1,500 per person according to each person’s role (a sum that one local Executive Director advised him was “too much”). And if his rehearsal photos are any indication, he feeds his casts VERY well too.

Next up for Charles is two films (“ColorBlind” and “DarkCharmer”) as well as a new play which he is writing/ directing. “Charles Patterson is a shining example of the Modern Renaissance Man,” says local actress Karen McReynolds. “Chattanooga is lucky to have him.”

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FILM & TELEVISION

Making The Most Of Being At Home A watch list to make your self-quarantine more pleasurable

A

S MUCH AS I HATE TO SAY IT, RIGHT NOW IS NOT the best time to go to the movies. Unless you’ve been living in a hole (and if you have, stay there), you’re more than aware the World Health Organization has classified COVID-19 a global pandemic.

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

“

There is entertainment at every corner of the internet and streaming services likely offer anything you might want to watch.”

They, along with the CDC, are recommending social distance—working from home, closing schools, cancelling events, and generally staying the hell away from others as much as possible.

Movies are, of course, better with an audience. But hanging out in a small, dark, sticky room with strangers for hours at a time, breathing the same air and sharing popcorn, is probably the best way to spread a disease beyond openly licking doorknobs at a flu convention.

We’re lucky, however. We currently live in a world where content is king.

There is entertainment at every corner of the internet and streaming services likely offer anything you might want to

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watch. Below is a list of films I compiled from just a cursory glance at Netflix (and a single television show I intentionally searched for on Amazon Prime).

All these films are fantastic, most are not pandemic themed, and they’re a great way to start a selfquarantine.

OUTBREAK We might as well get this one out of the way. This film by Wolfgang Peterson is currently trending on Netflix, for obvious reasons, and stars Dustin Hoffman, Rene Russo, Morgan Freeman, and Kevin Spacey. Essentially, a monkey spreads an Ebola-type virus in a California town. At best, the film will serve as a reminder that things could be worse.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD There is no better an actor than Daniel Day Lewis and this film show-

cases why. For those that haven’t seen it, but have seen memes based on the film, There Will Be Blood has very little to do with milkshakes. Instead, it tells the story of an oil tycoon and the ruthless nature of man.

A GHOST STORY This film is haunting, but not necessarily in a supernatural way. It’s about the passage of time, the circular nature of the universe, and the realities of loss. It’s a slow-moving film that rewards those with patience for good filmmaking.

EX MACHINA Directed by Alex Garland, Ex Machina is as claustrophobic as we’re all feeling. It’s a film about big ideas: artificial intelligence, the insular nature of creation, and how we undervalue both of those things in the pursuit of sex robots. Follow this film up with DEVS, a new Hulu

The List COVID-19 And You We recommend that everyone continue to follow best practices recommended by the CDC to ensure good health including the following:

Outbreak

limited series by the same director with similar themes (although it appears to lack sex robots).

ROUNDERS This is a film most of you have probably forgotten. Starring Matt Damon and Edward Norton, it tells the story of some degenerate gamblers who are great at taking other people’s money. It’s a fun, somewhat forgettable film about poker and the mob. Entertaining enough for a day inside.

CANDYMAN Now is a good chance to revisit this 1992 cult classic in preparation for the 2020 remake. Feel free to say his name three times—enhance your social distancing with the addition of magical bees.

SWISS ARMY MAN This film is so strange and wonderful and funny. Not many people

have watched it, which is a shame, but a pandemic is the perfect opportunity to watch Paul Dano ride a dead, gas-filled Daniel Radcliffe across a lake.

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION We’ve all seen this movie. We’re all eager to watch it again. Save this film for a day when you need a dose of inspiration.

THE INVITATION The Invitation is a film that was brought to Chattanooga a few years ago by the CFF. It effectively explains why social distancing, in general, is a good idea. You should watch to find out why.

LAWLESS Lawless is uneven to say the least but it features great performances and interesting scenes, even if it sort of falls apart by the end. The film follows in the tradition of weird

Tom Hardy accents, which everyone loves, right?

MAGNUM PI (1980) This is the only television show on the list, one that I recently discovered was streamable. As a thirtyseven-year-old man, I have vague recollections of the show which ran for eight seasons during my formative years. Watching it again as an adult is pure pleasure—it’s full of 1980s absurdity and wonder. Plus, eight seasons can take up a lot of time. I highly recommend watching the entire series.

This is only a short list to get you started. Even if you’ve seen some of these before, watch them again.

It can’t hurt. Just remember, we’re trying to protect the most vulnerable among us.

Listen to the CDC. Stay home.

Watch movies. It’s the best advice I can offer.

• Stay at home when you are sick.

• Cover your coughs and sneezes with a tissue, then throw the tissue in the trash.

• Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds, especially before eating, and after going to the bathroom, blowing your nose, coughing or sneezing.

• Avoid touching your eyes, nose and mouth with unwashed hands.

• Clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces and objects daily.

• Hand sanitizers should contain at least 60% – 95% alcohol.

• Avoid close contact with people who are sick.

We are following updates and recommendations from the CDC, WHO, the Tennessee Department of Health, Georgia Department of Public Health, and local health officials.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 19, 2020 • THE PULSE • 17

COLUMN · ON THE BEAT

“Shut It Down! Shut It All Down!”

The last word from the eye of a pig...that's seen it all

S

Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

“

Thousands of words would come forth for anyone who cared to read them, and the guy who was losing his ability to ‘feel’ suddenly began to regrow those psychological nerves.”

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

O THERE WAS THIS GUY WHO accidentally became a cop in the early ’90s, a Gen-Xer with a really weird giggle and an affinity for horror movies and the sloppiest hot dogs Chicago and New York City could produce.

He loved firearms but hated hunting.

He avoided conflict but enjoyed things like watching the first Gulf War live each evening from an armchair next to his old man. Without getting into details, this was a guy that had no business loitering in a Walmart parking lot much less wearing a polyester uniform held together with a gunbelt, but that is just what happened.

The story of how the latter came about is actually too personal to disclose, but he needed a job and this is the one he wound up with. Or perhaps it happened to him? Either way.

Like most things in his life, all of his preconceptions and assumptions were incorrect about said accidental employment but like most dilettantes he found his niche and embraced his penchant for bringing peace where he could while also having an all-access pass to some of the most interesting and horrifying stuff the world has to offer; a front row seat on the ultimate thrill ride—all you had to do was avoid perforation and letting your brain melt. (Sadly, he succeeded at neither.)

What he DID have was a penchant for typing almost as quickly as he spoke, and call after call, abused kid and mangled body after body, Hep-C and TB exposure after exposure, he found a way to make sense of it all (or to purge it at least): writing.

While the internet as you know it had only just gone from its crawling to a

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walking stage in the Bush Sr. and Clinton eras, this was still a pre-Facebook world (if you can believe there was ever a time without it and its dumbass cousins). Something called “internet message boards” are where people went to have conversations in the written form, and it was on those platforms I embraced the catharsis of storytelling; passing on events too unpleasant or at least too weird to believe under a nickname, and adding my perspective.

Thousands of words would come forth for anyone who cared to read them, and the guy who was losing his ability to “feel” suddenly began to regrow those psychological nerves. He began to feel “good” again. It was glorious.

Then some longhaired hippie screwed it all up.

“I am taking over a weekly alternative newspaper,” someone who until then I thought was a friend told me, “and you are going to be one of my columnists.

Send me a sample.”

“No way,” I said. “My department will cut my head off if I do that.”

So twelve years later, I believe I may be one of the longest running contributors to a local fish-wrapper that’s been in print and lining parrot cages for at least seventeen years.

What the hell, man?

I’ve written columns* that generated not just threats to get me fired, they’ve almost gotten me sued and prosecuted.

My peak? In one instance an entire group of people went to the entire City Council of Chattanooga, its Mayor, and even a sitting U.S. Senator in efforts to get me canned because they didn’t like my “words”. (*Fun Fact: I’ve always titled my submissions as “Eye of the Pig” after a Cy-

press Hill song. ‘Look into the eye of the pig, it’s seen it all.’)

I’ve begged my editor to fire me so we settled on going from weekly to triweekly. I’ve grossly insulted the owner (funny but complicated). Yet like any other genital growth, I’ve persisted.

Until now.

Instead of settling in to write about how much I enjoy witnessing literal mass-hysteria and the need for mass production of brown colored slacks to accompany nationwide pants soiling, I have learned that The Pulse, who has outlived so many other alternative weekly newspapers, is finally hitting the Great Print Pause Button and calling the game for a while.

I want to thank Gary Poole for not letting me quit. I want to thank the half dozen proofreaders I’ve had over the years for getting counseling afterwards.

I want to thank Brewer Media for letting me provide a peephole into the life of a living breathing beat cop that the public normally only gets to see in captivity (via policy and threats of non-advancement); an unvarnished and often foul litany that started as a catharsis, and… well, ends as one as well.

Today, a unique chapter in Chattanooga’s newspaper history comes quietly to an end and, like the job that got me here in the first place, I’m honestly grateful to have been a part of it.

It’s been a hell of a ride-a-long folks.

Double check to make sure you don’t leave your cell phone in the seat and if you think that’s blood on your shoes, you’re probably right...but it’ll clean off and be ready the next day. Just like me.

Officer Alexander Donald Teach will be 10-07 for the remainder.

Thank you.

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