The Pulse 15.09 » March 1, 2018

MARCH 1, 2018

CHATTANOOGA'S WEEKLY ALTERNATIVE

BURLY TEMPLE · TIVOLI: BEHIND THE SCENES · LOVE IN A GLASS

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VOL. 15, NO. 9 • MARCH 1, 2018

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MEETING YOUR NEIGHBORS

If there exists a more misunderstood group in the history of, well, humanity, it’s the followers of Islam. Controversy with the Islamic people dates back to the 7th century.

HOLLYWOOD DOES HAVE SOME ORIGINAL IDEAS

There is no shortage of good ideas in Hollywood.

There is a shortage of confidence in good ideas, an underestimation of audience intelligence, and cynical devotion to blockbuster numbers, but the good ideas remain.

GOING BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE TIVOLI

Nestled in the heart of downtown in the 700 block of Broad Street, the city’s most beautiful venue hosts a variety of musicals, operas, ballets, symphonies, concerts, comedy events, and more.

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BECOMING AN ACOLYTE IN THE BURLY TEMPLE

An artist here in town, one I have a great deal of respect for and have written about on more than once occasion, hit me up the other day and said he had a new project he wanted to share with me.

INSIDE THIS ISSUE

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Sword Masters Of The Gig City Welcome to the fascinating world of historical European martial arts. While the practical study of sword fighting has gone away thanks to the development of repeating firearms, a small number of people in Chattanooga are seeking to experience what martial arts was really like during the Middle Ages.

FEATURED CONTRIBUTORS

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CONSIDER THIS

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MUSIC CALENDAR

7

SHRINK RAO

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MUSIC REVIEWS

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NEW IN THEATERS

24

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

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ARTS CALENDAR

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JONESIN' CROSSWORD

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MIXOLOGY

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ON THE BEAT

Daniel Jackson is an independent journalist working in the Chattanooga area. He studied Communications at Bryan College and covered national events at the Washington Times. Follow him on Twitter @jcksndnl

Dr. Richard L. PimentalHabib, Ph.D., C.C.H., better known as “Dr. Rick”, is an author, psychotherapist, educator and minister, and holds a doctorate in clinical hypnotherapy with an emphasis in mind/body wellness.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 3

BEGINNINGS ∙ CITY LIFE

Meeting Your Neighbors Because talking to each other is always better than not

By Lauren Waegele

BREWER MEDIA GROUP Publisher James Brewer, Sr. FOUNDED 2003 BY ZACHARY COOPER & MICHAEL KULL

EDITORIAL

Managing Editor Gary Poole Assistant Editor Brooke Brown Music Editor Marc T. Michael Film Editor John DeVore Contributors Rob Brezsny • Daniel Jackson Matt Jones • Tony Mraz Ernie Paik • Rick Pimental-Habib Alex Teach • Michael Thomas Lauren Waegele Editorial Interns Adrienne Kaufmann • Austin M. Hooks Cartoonists Max Cannon • Rob Rogers Jen Sorenson • Tom Tomorrow

ADVERTISING Director of Sales Mike Baskin

Account Executives Rick Leavell • Cindee McBride Libby Phillips • John Rodriguez Danielle Swindell • Logan Vandergriff

CONTACT

Offices 1305 Carter St. Chattanooga, TN 37402 Phone 423.265.9494 Email info@chattanoogapulse.com Website chattanoogapulse.com Facebook @chattanoogapulse THE FINE PRINT: The Pulse is published weekly by Brewer Media and is distributed throughout the city of Chattanooga and surrounding communities. The Pulse covers a broad range of topics concentrating on music, the arts, entertainment, culture and local news. The Pulse is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No person without written permission from the publisher may take more than one copy per weekly issue.

The Pulse may be distributed only by authorized distributors.

Contents Copyright © 2018 by Brewer Media. All rights reserved.

I

Pulse contributor

F THERE EXISTS A MORE MISUNderstood group in the history of, well, humanity, it’s the followers of Islam. Controversy with the Islamic people dates back to the 7th century when Muhammad fled from Mecca to Medina after persecution from the Meccans, and since then, Muslims have had to deal with endless amounts of difficulty.

From fleeing to Medina, to the Crusades, to 21st century xenophobia and the fear of terrorism, it seems that Islam can’t catch a break.

And yet, Islam is crazy popular. In fact, a 2017 study contends that in the coming decades, Muslims will make up just over 31 percent of the global population. So, with Islam’s resilience and popularity, it’s of the utmost importance that people of all cultures and religions understand and feel comfortable with Islam and with Muslims.

Thankfully, a number of cities around the United States have started having events that allow all people from all walks of life contribute to an open conversation about Islam. We’ve all heard about how important communication is, and this is just another example of the power of dialogue.

Chattanooga is not falling behind in the dialogue about Islam. In fact, this Saturday the Understanding Islam organization of Chattanooga is hosting the third “Meet Your Muslim Neighbors” event at the Islamic Center of Greater Chattanooga on Gunbarrel Road.

These events have been extremely popular in the city of Chattanooga. Hammad Al-Ameen, leader of the “Meet Your Muslim Neighbors” event and radio program, states that over 2,000 people attended the last event: “We got people contacting us disappointed that weren’t able to get into the facility last time” because there were so

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“We’ve all heard about how important communication is, and this is just another example of the power of dialogue.” many people trying to attend.

Al-Ameen continues, saying that the purpose of this event is to “open our doors.” “It’s a neighborly act.” And he’s right, it is. There is a reason the event is called “Meet Your Muslim Neighbors”, and it’s not because Muslims live separated from the rest of the world or hide away and only congregate with each other; it’s because Muslims live next door and down the street.

They are neighbors.

Because they are neighbors, because they want to be neighbors, and because their faith “requires [them] to be neighborly,” Al-Ameen wants to stress that whether you are “Christian, Jew, whatever…whatever your faith is, you’re welcome.”

He continues, “These events promote better relations between people,” and “they remove any misconceptions.”

The Muslim community in Chattanooga is just like the rest of the community in Chattanooga. AlAmeen explains during our conversation, “Islam is not a secret organization, and in order for all of us to get along, we have to coexist. We should know about each other.”

Spend your weekend learning.

Learn about your neighbors. Learn about who they are. Learn what they believe. Learn to respect them.

Because talking about what we don’t understand is a lot healthier than ignoring it or hiding from it.

Consider This with Dr. Rick

EdiToon

by Rob Rogers

“The sign of a beautiful person is that they always see beauty in others.”

The March Of Hearts At Ruby Falls Ruby Falls is raising awareness for the American Heart Association (AHA) and Go Red for Women (GRFW) by pledging 100 million steps by both its staff and visitors for the month of March. The event has subsequently been dubbed a “Million Steps in March.”

The idea is to organize an event that encourages healthy living and activity.

Since we tend to lead busy lives, staying active can be a bit of a challenge.

This event helps remind people that just getting out of the house is a good start.

In addition to raising health awareness, it also helps organizations like the

AHA and GRFW get the word out about heart disease through its survivors and advocates.

The GRFW is struggling to get the word out. They found that every year “cardiovascular disease claimed the lives of nearly 500,000 American women.” Likewise, it is the goal of the AHA

to “improve the cardiovascular health of all Americans by 20 percent, and reducing deaths from cardiovascular diseases and stroke by 20 percent, all by the year 2020.”

Come visit Ruby Falls and lend a helping hand during the month of March. Every guest who participates in the Ruby Falls underground tour walks an average of 2,500 steps, so every participant matters.

Also, don’t forget to take a selfie with the #HealthySelfie and post to social media to aid in awareness.

— Austin M. Hooks

What was the last mean, petty, unkind thought or word you had for someone else? Something she was wearing? Did he voice a counter political opinion?

Does your kid have a racially different friend? A same-sex boy/girlfriend?

You know, it takes absolutely no talent to be mean. It’s not art. However, being mean has great power to habitually transform your outlook on life, create a lack of trust in your relationships, and etch permanent scowl lines on your face, and on your soul. I can’t imagine this would be consistent with your spiritual studies.

Consider this your challenge: For one entire week, I want you to think a kind, respectful, or loving thought about every single person you see, meet and talk with. Every one. Even better, say it out loud. Be generous with compliments. Be a good listener. Be gracious. Let’s see what happens after a week.

— Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 5

3.24.18 . 7:30pm Tivoli Theatre CHATTANOOGASYMPHONY.ORG 423.267.8583 701 BROAD ST. TM & © Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

(s18)

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COLUMN ∙ SHRINK RAP

Living The Healthy Single Life Being alone is not the end of the world. In fact, it can be invigorating.

Dr. Rick

Pulse columnist

Editor’s note: Dr. Rick is under the weather this week, so we are sharing one of his favorite past columns.

S

O HERE WE ARE, JUST A FEW weeks past Valentine’s Day. Spring is knocking on the door, and if you’re feeling anything like the community of scampering squirrels in my woods, then you can probably relate to winter’s “cabin fever” becoming spring’s “call to frolic.”

Along with these rambunctious squirrels, this is the season where we, too, come out of hibernation and start wagging our tails—so to speak—with desires as old as mankind.

Well...that may be true for some, but not all. There are folks who make it through the Hallmark season and the winter blues just fine, and are on their own, with no pressing desire to couple up. Why? Some people are happier when in relationships, some when single.

The important part (as regular Shrink Rappers know) is to honor whatever your needs may be. Not fall victim to peer pressure or what others expect of you, believe you “should” be doing. But instead, to know thyself, and realize that wherever you are on the relationship continuum is just fine, and, apparently, exactly where you need to be.

From a psychological perspective, there is great value to being in a relationship.

Along with the numerous studies that tell

us we’ll live longer with a healthy, loving partner in our lives, there are myriad personal growth areas that can only receive our full focus when in a relationship.

Issues such as giving and receiving love, improving communication, being honest and vulnerable with another person, learning how to set healthy boundaries, and honoring your needs as well as your partner’s needs, are examples of areas that do well within the context of a relationship, should you decide to give them your attention. It’s not that one isn’t able to work on these areas while single; it’s that a relationship provides the on-going “laboratory” and opportunity for regular practice.

That said, there is also tremendous value to flying solo. When we’re single, we can get to know, without the distraction of a sig other, where our inspirations lie.

What our individual dreams and goals are and where we want to take them.

We are free to make decisions for ourselves alone, without interference or consideration of the other person’s journey. It provides the opportunity for time well spent on getting to know ourselves more fully, so that when and if we become ready for an involvement with a wonderful mate, we have that much more self-awareness and strength of identity to offer.

I want to share with you a lovely meditation I came across recently that poetically describes just such benefits. It’s titled, Be Alone, by Bi-

anca Sparacino: “Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself.

You will grow, you will figure out what inspires you, you will curate your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity, and when you do meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure of yourself.”

When I first moved to this area almost a decade ago, I would go on what I called, “dates with the city.” You could find me on the pedestrian bridge at sunset, excitedly watching the city lights throw a romantic twinkle over the river and hills.

I explored restaurants, pubs and hole-in-the-wall haunts. I walked and walked—the Aquarium, the shops, the museums. I talked with locals everywhere I went. It was a way to feel grounded and con-

nected with this Scenic Mistress who has a lot to offer. And it made all the difference in my decision to live here.

And remember this: You can experience enlightening “dates” of your own, even when you are in a relationship. It’s important to take time, take a breath, take stock, and discover, continually, who you are and what you want, providing you with that much more freshness and authenticity to offer your relationship.

Until next time: “If you cannot find a good companion to walk with, walk alone, like an elephant roaming the jungle. It is better to be alone than to be with those who will hinder your progress.”

— Buddha Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 7

COVER STORY

Sword Masters Of The Gig City Welcome to the fascinating world of historical European martial arts

By Daniel Jackson Pulse contributor

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HILE THE PRACTICAL STUDY OF SWORD FIGHTing has gone away thanks to the development of repeating firearms, a small number of people in Chattanooga are seeking to experience what martial arts was really like during the Middle Ages.

Over the last few years, the study of the fighting systems which evolved in Europe has grown in popularity globally. Thanks to the internet, you can study manuscripts written 500 to 600 years ago, watch the moves played out on YouTube videos. With a few clicks of the button, you can buy a practice sword that will not run your practice partner through but will still have the same weight as an bona fide blade.

And to find some of the people who study the martial arts practiced by Vikings, knights and 16th century nobles in Chattanooga, you only have to visit the Amnicola River Section of the Tennessee River Park on a typical Thursday evening.

During one of the first practices the Society for Creative Anachronism held in 2018, a group of about 15 gathered in medieval garb as people on bikes zip by. Weapons and armor sat piled on a picnic table: a bollocks dagger, mail, rapiers shared the space with plastic water bottles.

Two men in full medieval garb walk back to the table carrying battered shields and practice blades after duking it out nearby. Randal Smith, who wore a helmet that draped mail across his face, was breathing hard.

The retired iron worker said, “This is the best workout there is,” because a fighter is trying to bring up explosive speed in historical protective gear. He

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was wearing 40 pounds of armor that included thick leather shoulder guards, and plates of steel across his chest.

On the other side of the path and separated by about 200 years, the blades of the rapier fighters clacked together in quick staccato. The fighters mimicking the martial arts employed during the Elizabethan era fought with their heads covered by fencing helmets. Some fought with only a rapier. The left hands of others held a small shield called a buckler, or a long, thin dagger.

School Of Hard Knocks According to Tim Kelly, seneschal or president for the local SCA chapter also known as the Shire of Vulpine Reach, SCA began in the ‘60s as a place where people jumped in and started swinging rattan swords as a way to experience what medieval combat was like.

While he was in his teens, Kelly joined the SCA group in Knoxville. When he learned the art of sword fighting back then, it was “the hard way,” he said. Literally the school of hard knocks.

“When I joined in 1980, there wasn’t much in the way of training going on,” Kelly said. “At this point, we were still working very hard to figure out what we were doing. And I was put into some armor and given a small shield and a small sword and was told ‘go hit that man mountain out there.’”

In the following decades, Kelly said the combat arts have gotten refined. He helped start the Chattanooga chapter of SCA, and spent a season jousting at Renaissance fairs. These days, however, he’s hung up the sparring tools to focus on blacksmithing. Besides combat arts, the SCA also focuses the study of the medieval period, generally.

“We know a lot more about what we’re doing now than we ever did in those days and one of the things we do a lot better is training,” Kelly said about the combat arts.

Here in the Chattanooga area, a few people continue to practice historical European martial arts, though membership in the Shire of Vulpine Reach was higher ten years ago, Kelly said.

Studying The Art Rapier fighting is different than fencing for a variety of reasons, Martin Waller said, because the way the sport is played has changed the tactics. In fencing, a strike anywhere on the body results in a point, said the member of the Shire of Vulpine Reach who studies rapier fighting. So athletes tuck their free hand well away from their opponent’s point. In the historical martial art, the hand hovers in front of the body because it might be used for grabbing, grappling, or it might hold a secondary weapon.

While SCA seeks to recreate medieval combat, a few rules are needed to make sparring sessions safe. In a melee, someone can’t attack their opponent from behind. Grappling could endanger the wellbeing of someone’s fingers wrapped around a rapier guard, for example.

So what must one do in order to become skilled in the historical European

COVER STORY martial arts? At the SCA, it begins slow.

Waller began HEMA after several years studying eastern martial arts. To research old European martial arts, he turned to a half dozen or so texts written hundreds of years ago in Italian and German. A German by the name of Hans Talhoffer, an author and fencing master from the 1400s, is a valuable source, for example.

“Usually, when we have a new person show up, for instance, the impulse is to get a sword in their hand as quickly as possible because that’s what they’re excited about, that’s what they came for,” said Waller. “I find that it is helpful if we can slow down just a little bit and explain that if you really want to go quickly, you have to go slow.

Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast. So slow is fast and create a solid foundation.”

No swords are necessary to learn the first lessons about measure (how far to stand away from each other), the idea of tempo and the first steps of footwork. Then comes the drills.

Here’s how you thrust. Here’s how you counterattack. Like in chess, control the center. In this case, it’s between your shoulders.

During a practice one Sunday afternoon in Fort Oglethorpe, I struggled to put this all together as I made my first steps trying out a sword fighter’s shoes. Feet, sword tip, shoulders wandered every which way.

We were running drills at a fraction of the speed and all my experience watching the twirling swordfights and the dialogue across locked blades on the silver screen was part of the problem. No, you don’t improve if you imagine yourself in a London bar fight.

However, the choreography portrayed in shows and movies is often the only knowledge a lay person gets about the historical European martial arts. “I’d hate to call what they get from these movies knowledge,” Waller said.

Mastering a single discipline requires months of piecing together the elements of sword play, like piecing together a sentence in a new language, remembering grammar, vocabulary and what you want to say.

But that also raises the question: Is learning to parry with a rapier like learning a

“One damp Saturday morning on his deck, Pollard demonstrates moves with round shield and Viking sword.” dead language, the physical equivalent of conjugating Latin verbs?

A Practical Application According to Waller, while no new moves are being developed, there are plenty of elements in the historical European martial arts that translate into other self-defense moves.

The measure, tempo, all are factors when it comes to self-defense.

“I hope never to have to use a rapier in earnest,” Waller said. “That being said, where some people might keep a firearm near their bedside, I have a French small sword.”

Unlike SCA, which focuses on everything medieval, Terry Pollard at the School for the Fighting Arts teaches historical European martial arts in addition to Filipino fighting systems and gun training—a diverse approach to self-defense.

Pollard says the interest in these martial arts such as longsword and Irish collar-and-elbow wrestling is larger in Canada and Europe itself.

In Chattanooga and the southeast

as a whole, he said, it is difficult for someone to open a martial art school that doesn’t focus on sportfocused martial arts like Tae Kwon Do. For Pollard, the study of European martial arts helps him cross train— and it’s a way to explore the systems his ancestors used in Europe years ago. People interested in activities like live action role playing take an interest in European systems, he said, at least to learn a few moves.

Pollard’s handful of students will train outside with him at his home in Ringgold, Georgia while a flock of chickens lounge nearby (It’s a real Mr. Miyagi experience, he said).

Pollard started learning historical European martial arts in the early 2000s with a group in Atlanta after he studied Filipino martial arts for years, allowing him to quickly learn the techniques.

In a sense, it’s a full circle. Hundreds of years ago, Spanish invaders with their sword craft influenced agrarian communities in the Phil-

ippines in their development of how they used sticks, bolos and kerambits.

While the European writers might advocate more formal stances than a Filipino practitioner, the moves look the same when steel meets steel, he said. He will study the work of Talhoffer, for example, and see techniques that are taught in judo or jujitsu—only the names are different.

Working as a guard at the Hamilton County Jail, Pollard has had to resort to martial arts to subdue belligerent inmates.

This has informed his approach. While some may think a fight is a drawn-out affair—minutes of parrying back and forth – Pollard knows they are over in less than five seconds.

In that real-world experience, has he ever used anything he learned with European martial arts? It’s hard to say where he might have learned a specific technique, he said.

One damp Saturday morning on his deck, Pollard demonstrates moves with round shield and Viking sword. They are the extension of his hand, the same selfdefense moves if he had a stick, a blade or nothing at all. It’s all the same body mechanics he explains.

While the movies may depict flash and spin when it comes to knights of old, the way Pollard demonstrates shows historical European martial arts conveys streamlined utilitarianism.

The way he shows it, there is more grappling in swordplay that the average person might expect. And while the visual flare added to fights depicted at the movies might be verboten, old texts show fighters grabbing longswords by the blade and whacking their opponent with the pommel.

The advantage to studying with weapons is that they make you faster in a selfdefense situation, Pollard said. You operate at a different tempo because the speed of a swinging sword point is faster than the speed generated by a hand alone.

“There is self-defense within the European systems. It’s already there,” Pollard said. “The way I do it, I want to train the way it would be done back then. If it’s not feasible for the battlefield, I don’t like to fool with it.”

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 9

FILM & TELEVISION

Hollywood Does Have Some Original Ideas Annihilation makes audiences think, for good or ill

The Life And Times Of Jane Goodall One of the most interesting, and sadly least profitable, genres of film is the documentary. Over the years, documentaries have shed light on the dark corners of the world, energized and motivated overlooked communities, changed the way people think about society and the world, educated us on things we didn’t know much (if anything about), or just thoroughly entertained us.

Jane, the 2017 documentary of the legendary primatology scientist Jane Goodall, is in many ways a bit of all of the above, and an excellent example of the power of documentary filmmaking.

Drawing from over 100 hours of never-before-seen footage that has been tucked away in the National Geographic archives for over 50 years, award-winning director Brett Morgen tells the story a determined woman whose chimpanzee research challenged the male-dominated scientific consensus of her time and revolutionized our understanding of the natural world.

“Few films this year offer up such lush and formal components. Morgen has made a film of deep emotional beauty. Required viewing for anyone seeking a classic in the making,” raved IndieWire’s Kate Erbland.

Set to a rich orchestral score from legendary composer Philip Glass, the film offers an unprecedented, intimate portrait of Jane Goodall—a trailblazer who defied the odds to become one of the world’s most admired conservationists. — Michael Thomas Jane Friday, 7 p.m. (one night only) The Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. chattpalace.com 10 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By John DeVore Pulse Film Editor

T

HERE IS NO SHORTAGE OF GOOD ideas in Hollywood. There is a shortage of confidence in good ideas, an underestimation of audience intelligence, and cynical devotion to blockbuster numbers, but the good ideas remain. They don’t always get made into movies, of course.

There are likely more good ideas stuffed in drawers or condemned to development hell than there are Transformer sequels, The Fast and the Furious sequels, Marvel movie sequels, Star Wars sequels, Terminator sequels, Hangover sequels, Batman sequels, Superman sequels, Indiana Jones sequels, Underworld sequels, and Shrek sequels combined.

The point is it takes a lot for a movie to get made and, more often than not, good ideas aren’t at the forefront of film executive decision making. But sometimes, good ideas make it through. More-

over, sometimes good ideas have a great production crew, a good writer, a strong, well-executed vision, and a cast capable of evoking the intended message with grace and style.

Annihilation, directed by Alex Garland, is one of those films. It won’t be popular—at first glance, the film finished fourth this weekend with a modest box office return. It’s not for everyone. The film is cerebral and confusing, full of holes that require the imagination of the viewer to fill, but it’s also beautiful and fascinating. It’s the first truly exceptional film of the year. So, of course, it’s science fiction.

Like most films of this nature, the story is easy to describe but harder to understand. Something has crashed in the swamps of the United States, centering on a lighthouse in a state park. We aren’t given a precise location—it’s later just referred to as Area X. The area has been covered by what has been dubbed “The Shimmer,” which appears to be a field of rainbow tinted light that is ever expanding.

FILM & TELEVISION

“It’s not for everyone. The film is cerebral and confusing, full of holes that require the imagination of the viewer to fill, but it’s also beautiful and fascinating” Nearly a dozen expeditions have been sent into The Shimmer, but nothing has returned.

No radio waves or signals can get through. Scientists and elite military groups have all vanished. Save for one man, it seems.

A man named Kane (Oscar Isaacs), part of the eleventh expedition, has inexplicably returned home to his wife Lena (Natalie Portman) after disappearing into The Shimmer nearly a year prior. He is disoriented, unable to answer simple questions. Soon, he begins to convulse and slips into a coma, and ultimately re-acquired by the government.

Lena, a professor of cellular biology and former army officer, is brought to Area X to be with her husband while he is under observation. After learning of the circumstances of Kane’s disappearance, Lena volunteers to enter The Shimmer with three others, hoping to reach the

lighthouse and find the source of the event.

The film is visually breathtaking. Everything within The Shimmer has a distinct and careful beauty. It seems alive, almost breathing. The strangeness and occasional horror is offset by the wildness of the newly alien landscape. The film unfolds methodically and slowly.

Another recent film, The Cloverfield Paradox, is somewhat similar in that it features the impossible happening in real time.

But it rushes from event to event, short on explanation, heavy on weird stuff, taking no time to just watch it all unfold. Annihilation is content to let us watch in astonishment and wonder at the story as it happens.

This film doesn’t ask as many questions as a film like, say, Arrival, another serious science fiction film with a deliberate pace. Instead, Annihilation is more about how terrifying and incredible the universe can be.

The relationship between discovery and fear is on display throughout the film, as are themes of redemption in the face of betrayal. These ideas are encompassed within the elegance of a fully realized work of art.

There will, of course, be naysayers. At times, Annihilation may seem Lost-like, filled with tangents and unresolved ideas.

However, I’d argue that the inconsistency is the point. The characters are unable to explain the phenomenon in any tangible way, thus the audience is only able to guess and extrapolate to the best of their ability.

It makes the movie challenging and frustrating and wonderful.

Maybe not everything has an explanation. Maybe we aren’t capable of understanding the secrets of the universe in their entirety. Maybe it’s just too big for that. Annihilation lets us consider these ideas from the safety of a darkened theater.

✴ ✴ NEW IN THEATERS ✴ ✴

Red Sparrow Ballerina Dominika Egorova is recruited to 'Sparrow School' a Russian intelligence service where she is forced to use her body as a weapon. But her first mission, targeting a CIA agent, threatens to unravel the security of both nations.

Director: Francis Lawrence Stars: Jennifer Lawrence, Joel Edgerton

Death Wish A family man becomes a vigilante killing machine when his family is violently attacked by robbers.

Director: Eli Roth Stars: Bruce Willis, Vincent D'Onofrio, Elisabeth Shue, Camila Morrone

Where the BIG Hits live!

Chattanooga’s Greatest Hits CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 11

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Going Behind The Scenes At The Tivoli What's behind the curtain at the city's theater jewel?

Painting by Jim Aplin

Artists On The Loose: March Is For Art Eleven artists showcase their artwork and multitude of talent at Artists on the Loose in Chattanooga’s Southside District this Friday. This visual arts display promotes enthusiast and collectors from all over the region to keep beauty in their lives and support its creators. Regardless of their nationally recognized status, these artists provide artwork suitable for any budget.

This exhibition features art styles ranging from realistic oil paintings on canvas to…encaustics? This is Ellen Franklin’s, one of the featured artists, preferred artistic medium: “using heated beeswax to which colored pigments are added.”

With a background not only in painting but sculpting, Franklin uses these heated materials to craft a “range of textural and color possibilities,” according to Ralph Mayer, author of “The Artist’s Handbook”.

If this doesn’t intrigue you, then the aforementioned oil painting style of Terry Rafferty will. Described by her colleagues as “a storyteller, she creates narrative oil paintings inspired by life experiences, often using figurines as her muse.” In either case, the artistic value of this event is extensive and all-encompassing.

Other Featured artist include Maddin Corey, Ann Currey, Kate Dilworth, Cindy Procious, David Salerno and Leah Salerno. — Austin M. Hooks Virginia Webb, Janis Wilkey, Jim Aplin Artists on the Loose Friday, 4 p.m.

1401 Williams St. (423) 321-8154 artistsontheloose.com 12 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Tony Mraz

Pulse contributor

T

HE HISTORIC TIVOLI THEATRE IS WITHout a doubt the crown jewel of Chattanooga’s performance spaces. Nestled in the heart of downtown in the 700 block of Broad Street, the city’s most beautiful venue hosts a variety of musicals, operas, ballets, symphonies, concerts, comedy events, and more.

The space is maintained by The Tivoli Theater Foundation, which was created by Mayor Andy Berke back in 2015 to preserve it, along with the Walker Theater and Memorial Auditorium.

Built in 1921 by Reuben H. Hunt with an interior decorated by Rapp & Rapp out of New York, the Tivoli is a rare gem. It might be more beautiful from the stage than from the seats, and a lot of performers and sound engineers love it because of the sound.

It is a “short throw” theatre, with cylindrical al-

coves at the front and a dome at top designed to push the sound back. The house has great acoustics, and sound reinforcement speakers in back of the seating area for certain shows.

In addition to being crucial for local culture, the Tivoli has a massive economic impact on the city.

The financial effects of the events are widespread, benefiting employees of the theater, performers and employees of the various productions, restaurants and hotels who get business from theater patrons, and a milieu of others, like people who print ads, and make signage, television, newspaper and radio ads.

The space creates a lot of jobs in town, one of the most interesting of which is that of technical director James Durham.

James oversees almost everything behind the scenes at the theatre, and does lighting design for symphony concerts. The backstage is an enormous space with 65ft ceilings which is mostly occupied by the grid. The grid is essentially a huge metal

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

“The Tivoli is a rare gem. It might be more beautiful from the stage than from the seats, and a lot of performers and sound engineers love it because of the sound.” rack with holes for cables and ropes to go through. It is used to bring up and attach steel rigging, set pieces, lights, speaker systems, and anything else that needs to be hung for productions. A 96 step spiral staircase gives access to this and the fly system, which is used to raise and lower the curtains.

“The curtains allow us to mask the sides and control how deep the stage area is,” James explains. “There is a lot of weight on each curtain, and each is raised and lowered by hand. To do this, we use stage weights of different sizes that fit into slots to counterbalance them. It takes twice the weight to counterbalance each curtain, so for a 500-pound curtain you would need a thousand pounds to move it. This takes a specialized person.”

The side stage curtain that masks the backstage is called a leg. When a performer goes on stage, passing the leg curtain, that is called “breaking a leg.”

“Many stage terms come from

sailors, because these men often found work as theater employees,” James elaborates, sharing his knowledge of theatre nomenclature. “Sailors has the perfect skill set to accomplish the rigging. Before they had counterbalanced metal weights, they would use sandbags as counterbalances and their own body weight, climbing over each other to raise and lower equipment and curtains.”

Just like on a boat, in backstage terms, “bring the curtain in” means lower it, and “bring it out” means raise it. “Stage left” is to the left if you’re facing the audience, “stage right” is to the right, “stage down” is closer to the audience, and “up stage” is away from the audience.

“This is because in early theaters, the stage was inclined, literally going up in back to increase visibility,” James notes.

The stage at the Tivoli is perfectly level, allowing it to accommodate the orchestra shell.

This monstrous sound engineering marvel is 21 foot tall and

THU3.1 CELLARbration

A blind wine tasting competition to benefit the Austin Hatcher Foundation for Pediatric Cancer.

6 p.m.

The FEED Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com

very heavy, made of a series of 6 foot wide sections on casters.

When assembled, it amplifies and focuses the sound of the orchestra.

The theatre works a lot with the symphony, who rents it out as a rehearsal space, and has a storage area in the next building. The amount of staff needed to operate the backstage varies between shows, but on average just four people can handle the symphony.

For other shows, that number goes up, when the skills of a monitor engineer, front-ofhouse sound engineer, lighting director, spotlight operator, etc. are needed. For an opera, there might be twenty or more people involved in the production; set and wardrobe designers, hair stylists, makeup artists, stage managers, directors, and choreographers.

“Everybody who works back here is specialized in their fields, and all of them are an important part of Chattanooga,” James sums it up.

FRI3.2 “The Telephone Show”

Opening reception for the creative art project ased on the childhood game, “Telephone”.

5 p.m.

AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. avarts.org

SAT3.3 Encore!

The Chattanooga Boys Choir's annual fundraising dinner, featuring a tasty spread by celebrity chef Charlie Loomis.

7 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd. bessiesmithcc.org

You complete us.

Now recruiting Media Sales Professionals to represent Chattanooga’s Alternative Newsweekly

Send your resume and cover letter to: Mike Baskin, Director of Sales mikebaskin@brewermediagroup.com In the subject line, please include: Brewer Sales Position Learn more about us at BrewerMediaGroup.com.

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CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 13

W

Tri-State Home Show

THURSDAY3.1 Ooltewah Farmers Market 3 p.m.

Ooltewah Nursery 5829 Main St. (423) 238-9775 ooltewahnursery.com Signal Mountain Farmers Market 4 p.m.

Pruett’s Market 1210 Taft Hwy. (423) 902-8023 signalmountainfarmersmarket.com Give Back Night 5 p.m.

Flying Squirrel 55 Johnson St. (423) 602-5980 flyingsquirrelbar.com How to Plan and Lead a Day Hike 6 p.m.

Outdoor Chattanooga 200 River St. (423) 643-6888 outdoorchattanooga.com “Cee-Jay” Jones 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com CELLARbration 6 p.m.

The FEED Co. Table & Tavern 201 W. Main St. (423) 708-8500

14 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

feedtableandtavern.com The Trail Beneath the Trail 6 p.m.

Ruby Falls 1720 S. Scenic Hwy. (423) 821-2544 info1@rubyfalls.com Make-Create Night 6 p.m.

Heritage House Arts & Civic Center 1428 Jenkins Rd. (423) 855-9474 chattanooga.gov Grassroots Organizing for our Public Schools 6 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750

chattanoogaworkspace.com March Social (Justice) Hour 7 p.m.

The Crafty Social 1412 McCallie Ave. (423) 402-0740 thecraftysocial.com Advanced Improv Comedy Showcase 7:30 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com Country Line Dancing Class 8 p.m.

Westbound Bar 24 Station St. (423) 498-3069 westboundbar.com

ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT One of the hottest, freshest comics to hit the comedy scene.

His stage presence, quick wit, high energy and rapid fire delivery keeps his audiences laughing non-stop.

"Cee Jay" Jones The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

FRIDAY3.2 Northgate Branch Book Sale 9 a.m.

Northgate Branch Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 757-5313 chattlibrary.org Tri-State Home Show 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 homeshowchattanooga.com Chattanooga Market at Erlanger 10:30 a.m.

Erlanger Hospital Medical Mall 975 E. 3rd St. chattanoogamarket.com Arbor Day Celebration 2 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org First Friday Reception 4 p.m.

Artists on the Loose 1401 Williams St. (423) 321-8154 artistsontheloose.com Riverwalk Wheland Foundry Trailhead Concept Designs 5 p.m.

Arts Build 301 E. 11th St. (423) 756-2787

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR

The Hobbit ArtsBuild.com artistsontheloose.com In the Moment Opening Reception 5 p.m.

In-Town Gallery 26 Frazier Ave. (423) 267-9214 intowngallery.com “The Telephone Show” Opening Reception 5 p.m.

AVA Gallery 30 Frazier Ave. (423) 265-4282 avarts.org Open Studio Nights: Emerging Artists Showcase 5:30 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com “Paper” Opening Reception 5:30 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Joshua Shorey and Raymond Padrón Artist Reception 6 p.m.

Versa Gallery 1919 Union Ave. Edie Maney Opening Reception 6:30 p.m.

River Gallery 400 E. 2nd St. (423) 265-5033

river-gallery.com Jane 7 p.m.

Palace Theater 818 Georgia Ave. (423) 803-6578 chattpalace.com Choreographers Showcase 7 p.m.

Center For Creative Arts 1301 Dallas Rd. (423) 209-5929 centerforcreativearts.net Eric Keller 7 p.m.

Frequency Arts 1804 E. Main St. facebook.com/frequencyarts “Cee-Jay” Jones 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com “The Hobbit” 7:30 p.m.

Mars Theatre District 117 N. Chattanooga St. (706) 996-8350 backalleyproductions.org Nooga! Visit Rock Village 8 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com The Floor Is Yours: The Body Is Not an Apology 8 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater

1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Improv Showdown 10 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com

SATURDAY3.3 Watercolor Sketching: A HalfDay Workshop 9 a.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Northgate Branch Book Sale 9 a.m.

Northgate Branch Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 757-5313 chattlibrary.org ZOOperhero Day 9 a.m.

Chattanooga Zoo 301 N. Holtzclaw Ave. (423) 697-1322 chattzoo.org St. Albans Hixson Market 9:30 a.m.

St. Alban’s Episcopal Church 7514 Hixson Pike (423) 842-6303 Tri-State Home Show 10 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention

Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 homeshowchattanooga.com Pruning Workshop Intensive 10 a.m.

Crabtree Farms 1000 E. 30th St. (423) 493-9155 crabtreefarms.org Brainerd Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Grace Episcopal Church 20 Belvoir Ave. (404) 245-3682 Farmer’s Market 11 a.m.

Nutrition World 6237 Vance Rd. (423) 892-4085 nutritionw.com Red Wolf Feeding and Talk Noon Reflection Riding Arboretum 400 Garden Rd. (423) 821-1160 reflectionriding.org Chattanooga Art Tour 1 p.m.

Bluff View Arts District 411 E. 2nd St. (423) 290-2477 newsouthtourco.com Aerial Introductory Workshop!

2 p.m.

Chattanooga Aerials 2315 Cannon Ave. (423) 582-2437 chattanoogaaerials.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 15

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT CALENDAR “The Hobbit” 2:30, 7:30 p.m.

Mars Theatre District 117 N. Chattanooga St. (706) 996-8350 backalleyproductions.org Winter in West Village 6 p.m.

West Village 802 Pine St. westvillagechattanooga.com Autism & Behavior Services 2nd Annual Trivia Night & Silent Auction 6 p.m.

Chattanooga Public Library 1001 Broad St. chattlibrary.org Encore!

7 p.m.

Bessie Smith Cultural Center 200 E. MLK Blvd.

(423) 266-8658 bessiesmithcc.org Denim & Diamonds: Once Upon a Time 7 p.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 chattdenim.net AmuseUm 7 p.m.

Creative Discovery Museum 321 Chestnut St. (423) 756-2738 cdmfun.org “Cee-Jay” Jones 7:30, 9:45 p.m.

The Comedy Catch 1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com Week in Review 8 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com Whose Line Chattanooga 10 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com

SUNDAY3.4 Tri-State Home Show 11 a.m.

Chattanooga Convention Center

Improv Open House 1150 Carter St. (423) 756-0001 homeshowchattanooga.com Northgate Branch Book Sale 1 p.m.

Northgate Branch Library 278 Northgate Mall Dr. (423) 757-5313 chattlibrary.org Coming to America: Snapshots in Focus 1 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org A Land Defiled: The Environmental Impact of the Civil War on Chattanooga 2 p.m.

Chickamauga and Chattanooga National Military Park Lafayette Rd. (706) 866-9241 nps.gov The Road: Exploring Healing and Recovery through the Art 3:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org Bi-monthly Queer Youth Night 6 p.m.

Mercy Junction Justice and Peace Center 1918 Union Ave. (423) 521-0642 mercyjunction.org “Cee-Jay” Jones 7:30 p.m.

The Comedy Catch

16 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

1400 Market St. (423) 629-2233 thecomedycatch.com

MONDAY3.5 New Year Belly Dance Session 5:45 p.m.

Movement Arts Collective 3813 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 401-8115 movementartscollective.com First Monday Improv Comedy 7:30 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. (423) 624-5347 barkinglegs.org

TUESDAY3.6 Wake Up & Run 6 a.m.

Fleet Feet Sports 307 Manufacturers Rd. (423) 771-7996 fleetfeetchattanooga.com Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Institute Tour 4 p.m.

Tennessee Aquarium Conservation Institute 175 Baylor School Rd. (800) 262-0695 tnaqua.org Northside Farmers’ Market 3 p.m.

Northside Presbyterian Church 923 Mississippi Ave. (423) 266-1766

String Theory at the Hunger: Soovin Kim, Roverto Diaz, Andres Diaz, & Gloria Chien 5:30 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. (423) 267-0968 huntermuseum.org Community Education: Human Anatomy & Physiology 6 p.m.

The Edney Innovation Center 1100 Market St. (423) 693-9329 Mosaic Tile Workshop with Daud Akhriev 6 p.m.

Townsend Atelier 301 E. 11th St. (423) 266-2712 townsendatelier.com Historical Perspectives on Hamilton County Public Schools 6 p.m.

Chattanooga WorkSpace 302 W. 6th St. (423) 822-5750 chattanoogaworkspace.com Tuesday Night Chess Club 6 p.m.

Downtown Library 1001 Broad St. (423) 643-7700 chattilibrary.com

2525 Desales Ave. lookoutfarmersmarket.com Middle Eastern Dance 10:30 a.m.

Jewish Cultural Center 5461 North Terrace (423) 493-0270 jewishchattanooga.com Main Street Market 4 p.m.

522 W. Main St. mainstfarmersmarket.com March Welding Classes 6 p.m.

Art 120 100 Cherokee Blvd.

(423) 708-2120 art120.org Improv Open House 7 p.m.

First Draft Theater 1800 Rossville Ave. (423) 843-1775 improvchattanooga.com Naughty Knights Chess Meetup 7:30 p.m.

The Bitter Alibi 825 Houston St. (423) 362-5070 thebitteralibi.com Open Mic Comedy 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY3.7 Lookout Farmers Market 10 a.m.

Memorial Hospital

Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

FOOD & DRINK ∙ MIXOLOGY

Aphrodisiacs: Love In A Glass Can what you drink put you in a romantic mood? Well...maybe.

By Adrienne Kaufmann Pulse contributor

W

HAT DO WE ASSOCIATE with romance? Candles, soft music, and wine usually top most people’s lists, but what about whipping up a batch of mashed potatoes, frying some okra, or laying out a bowl of sparrow brains?

These foods (if we define foods loosely enough to include sparrow brains) are among the many delicacies that have been hailed as aphrodisiacs— foods thought to stimulate libido and enhance pleasure.

Many people have heard of aphrodisiacs, but the term is currently used more for punchlines than serious purposes. It’s true, supposed aphrodisiac foods are numerous, but their effectiveness is questionable at best. Though opinions vary, most scientific evidence concludes that there are no foods proven to physically affect sex drive. But that’s not quite the end of the story.

While a bite of potato might not put your libido into overdrive, there can be something sensual about eating with someone else, and some foods are just plain sexier than others.

A lot of this has to do with the associations we develop for foods. Rare, expensive foods are often labeled as aphrodisiacs, along with bold, flavorful foods, and foods with a suggestive shape.

Though modern Americans may roll their eyes at aphrodisiacs, these foods have been revered across cultures for centuries. The term “aphrodisiac” is derived from the name of Aphrodite, the

Greek goddess of love, and the ancient Greeks were firm believers in the sexual power of foods like garlic and mushrooms. Romans turned to figs, Aztecs to chocolate. In Shakespeare’s “The Merry Wives of Windsor” Falstaff says, “Let the sky rain potatoes,” one of the era’s most potent aphrodisiacs.

There’s no guarantee that an aphrodisiac meal will put you in the mood, but there is at least one substance that no one disputes—alcohol. So why not try out some aphrodisiac foods in cocktail form? The following cocktails use chili pepper and chocolate.

The first should get your heart racing and your face flushed from the spice, and the second should melt luxuriously on your tongue. If the chili peppers and chocolate don’t do it for you, I’m sure the vodka will.

“There’s no guarantee that an aphrodisiac meal will put you in the mood, but there is at least one substance that no one disputes—alcohol.”

Chili Pepper Martini • 1 Serrano chili (adjust amount for your preference) • ½ oz. simple syrup • 1 ½ oz.vodka • 2 oz pineapple juice Rinse the chili and remove the seeds, then muddle in a shaker with the simple syrup. Add vodka, pineapple, and ice; shake and strain into a glass. Garnish with chili pepper, or rim the glass with chili powder for an extra kick.

Chocolate Martini • • • • •

1 ½ oz. chocolate liqueur 1 ½ oz. Creme de Cocoa 1/2 oz. vanilla vodka 2 1/2 oz. milk chocolate syrup

Drizzle chocolate syrup on the inside of the glass. Combine the rest of the ingredients in a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice. Shake vigorously and strain into the glass. (Note: We make no guarantees of aphrodisical success.)

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 17

MUSIC

Becoming An Acolyte In The Burly Temple Finding lyrical genius in top-notch musical anonymity

An Engine For Musical Expression Looking for a musical event to attend this Saturday?

How about watching a group of child performers pound out a beat on bucket drums or sing a song they wrote?

This might sound unusual for a night of live music, but it’s exactly what you’ll get this Saturday at the Camp House during Expression Engine’s concert, “Strength in Unity: A Concert of Musical Diversity.”

Expression Engine is an organization based in Chattanooga’s East Lake neighborhood. The staff teaches local children many facets of musical performance, including reading music, playing instruments, singing, and songwriting. The founders of Expression Engine believe that “music is an effective avenue for developing children’s creativity and problem solving skills, and building up a strong community.”

Their concerts prove this to be true. Yes, there are funny moments where a small kid misses a note, forgets the words, or starts waving at a parent, but that’s not what makes Expression Engine a pleasure to watch. These concerts show that children, even young ones, have the ability to create something powerful.

This Saturday, Expression Engine will be joined by local musicians from a wide variety of backgrounds, from jazz to hip hop to classical. The lineup includes James Ward, Kofi Mawuko, Little Engine, Seaux Chill, Evelyn Petcher, and The Expression Engine Staff. Ranging from experienced performers to pre-kindergarten kids, the concert promises to be one of a kind. — Adrienne Kaufmann Strength in Unity: A Concert of Musical Diversity Saturday, 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House, 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com 18 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

By Marc T. Michael Pulse Music Editor

A

N ARTIST HERE IN TOWN, ONE I have a great deal of respect for and have written about on more than once occasion, hit me up the other day and said he had a new project he wanted to share with me.

I listened, loved it, decided to write it up, but there was a caveat. This project had to be kept entirely separate from his other work.

Plenty of artists have multiple bands, multiple projects or multiple personas, and sometimes it’s okay for that artist to be recognized in each incarnation (Les Claypool, for instance.)

Other times, though, anonymity is necessary, like the kid who plays in the church band on Sunday and has a makeup-wearing, pentagram-having, Satan-hailing death metal band the rest of the week. It’s just better for business if never the twain meet.

I get it, completely, and will of course respect the artist’s wishes, but this presents me with a downside in that I can’t really discuss the new music in terms of how it expands upon the old.

So, for our purposes here today, Burly Temple is a completely independent artist in no way affiliated with any other performer in the area, although he does share a propensity for fiendishly clever lyric writing with another fellow I consider to be one of the very

MUSIC

“As a rule, I’m not a huge fan of songs that are 17 minutes long, but in this case I’ll happily make an exception because, again, this guy’s lyrical chops are second to none.” best songwriters I’ve ever heard, bar none.

The album features just two songs, “The Ballad of Bill Bailey: The Making of Chinese Democracy and the Unmaking of Axl Rose” and “The Chris Anderson Trilogy.”

Yes, I referred to two songs as an album, but consider that each tune chimes in just a little bit past the 17 minute mark. And there’s no denying that if this were on vinyl it would be two whole sides comprising one whole album.

As a rule, I’m not a huge fan of songs that are 17 minutes long, but in this case I’ll happily make an exception because, again, this guy’s lyrical chops are second to none. Not only is his wordplay rapid-fire funny and intelligent, the larger points he makes are valid, and extremely well thought out.

The first song’s subject matter is pretty self-explanatory but his handling of the material, the rise and

fall of a certain group from the late eighties, is so simultaneously hilarious and yet spot-on, it’s great fun to listen to whether you ever cared about that certain group or not.

The second tune (“The Chris Anderson Trilogy”) carries the gravitas of this two song set. Dealing with some very local politics, the tune yet again manages to combine some wicked humor with genuine, sincere insight.

Any clown can make a person laugh, but it takes an artist of a high degree to simultaneously make you laugh and think, while delivering observations with such acuity that I’m starting to think of this guy as the musical version of Jonathan Swift or H.L. Mencken.

He’s just that good and there is no reason to take my word for it; you can hear these two marvelous little ditties for free at the Burly Temple Bandcamp page.

March Comes In Like Musical Lion March is going to be another great month for music and live entertainment in the Scenic City leaving us once again with the delightful conundrum of having too many great acts to choose from.

This Friday, the Music Box at Ziggy’s will host the Scenic City Super Show, a variety show/ensemble featuring a rotating schedule of musicians and comedians.

The Fridge will be appearing at Tremont Tavern on Saturday performing two sets of new and reworked tunes in what they assure you will be a tasty evening.

Matt Downer’s Great Southern Old Time Fiddlers’ Convention is back again, bigger and better than ever, well on its way to rivaling its original namesake in breadth, popularity and prestige. Set for

Saturday, March 10th at Lindsay Street Hall. Look for more details in next week’s feature.

The town is also gearing up for St. Patrick’s Day 2018 with the return of Shamrock City up at Rock City the weekends of the tenth and seventeenth with a host of musicians, dancers and other performers, while The Honest Pint is sponsoring the fifth annual “Paddy’s Party on the Parkway” with rumors of a special float in the Chattanooga St. Patrick’s Day Parade (more on that in an upcoming issue, as well.)

The rest of the month is jampacked with performances of some of the areas favorite and most beloved bands and The Pulse will be here as your one stop guide to it all. — MTM

THU3.1

FRI3.2

SAT3.3

JEET, Realyn Nelson Band, Jess Goggans

Julie Gribble

Genki Genki Panic

What to do on a Thursday night? Hmm...hey, how about heading down to JJ's for a great night of musical talent?

9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

Actress, musician, songwriter, and all around cool woman who brings a fearless sense of music and lyrics to her always memorable shows.

10 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com

We get it. We promote the hell out of Genki Genki Panic. But that's because they are so damn good and so much fun to see. Really.

8 p.m.

Mayo’s Bar and Grille 3820 Brainerd Rd mayosbarandgrill.com

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 19

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Riley Green

THURSDAY3.1 James Crumble Trio 6 p.m.

St. John’s Meeting Place 1278 Market St. stjohnsrestaurant.com Jimmy Dormire 6 p.m.

Fiamma Pizza Company 405 N. Market St. fiammapizzacompany.com Open Mic Night with Megan Saunders 6 p.m.

Whole Foods Market 301 Manufacturers Rd. wholefoodsmarket.com Mike McDade 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Dustin Concannon 6:30 p.m.

Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Prime Country Band 6:30 p.m.

Motley’s 320 Emberson Dr. Ringgold, GA (706) 260-8404 Toby Hewitt 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com

20 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

An Evening with Hal Ketchum 7 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Open Mic Night with Ryan Oyer 7 p.m.

Moccasin Bend Brewing Co. 3210 Broad St. bendbrewingbeer.com Sibelius Symphony No. 5 7:30 p.m.

Tivoli Theatre 709 Broad St. tivolichattanooga.com Bluegrass Thursdays 7:30 p.m.

Feed Co. Table & Tavern

201 W. Main St. feedtableandtavern.com Jesse James & Tim Neal 7:30 p.m.

Mexi-Wing VII 5773 Brainerd Rd. mexi-wingchattanooga.com Keepin’ It Local 8 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com KlusterfunK Open Jam 8 p.m.

Trip’s Tavern 4762 Hwy. 58 (423) 803-5686 Brent Cobb & Them ft.

Savannah Conley

ENTERTAINMENT SPOTLIGHT Raised on jazz, dabbled with punk, and matured into one of the most formidable—and talented— bluegrass and modern country guitrists in the country, including recording with Marty Stuart and more.

Kenny Vaughan Trio Friday, 7 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com

9 p.m.

Songbirds Stages 41 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Open Mic Night with Jonathan Wimpee 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com JEET, Realyn Nelson Band, Jess Goggans 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

FRIDAY3.2 Packway Handle Band 5 p.m.

First Tennessee Pavilion 1826 Carter St. packwayhandle.com Eric Keller, Wimpee & the HLA, Hive Theory, Sleazy Sleazy 5 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Amber Fults 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Lon Eldridge 6:30 p.m.

Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St.

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR

Big Something westinchattanooga.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Spinster 7 p.m.

OddStory Brewing Company 336 E. MLK Blvd. oddstorybrewing.co Kenny Vaughan Trio 7 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Rick Rushing and The Blues Strangers 7:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Riley Green, Channing Wilson 8 p.m.

The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com Charley Woods 8 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com H4ppyC4mper 8 p.m.

Moccasin Bend Brewing Co. 3210 Broad St. bendbrewingbeer.com The Silent Disco ft. The Jager Girls 8 p.m.

The Living Room @ Coyote Jacks 1400 Cowart St. thelivingroomchattanooga.com Scenic City Super Show 9 p.m.

Music Box @ Ziggy’s 607 Cherokee Blvd. ziggysbaandgrill.net Rumours: A Fleetwood Mac Tribute 9 p.m.

Songbirds Stages 41 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com David Ingle 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Little Bird 9 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com Superbody, Dirty Blonde, Side Affect 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Julie Gribble 10 p.m.

The Social 1110 Market St. publichousechattanooga.com Outlaw 45 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com

SATURDAY3.3 Bluegrass Brunch Noon The Honest Pint 35 Patten Pkwy. thehonestpint.com Strength in Unity: A Concert of Musical Diversity 6:30 p.m.

The Camp House 149 E. MLK Blvd. thecamphouse.com John Carroll 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Ryan Oyer 6:30 p.m.

Westin Dorato Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Pylon Reenactment Society 7 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Tim Lewis 7 p.m.

El Meson 248 Northgate Park elmesonchattanooga.com Danimal 7:30 p.m.

The Foundry 1201 Broad St. chattanooganhotel.com Up the Dose and Friends

Monthly Jam 8 p.m.

McHale’s Brewhouse 724 Ashland Terrace mchalesbrewhouse.com Genki Genki Panic, Sunsap 8 p.m.

Mayo’s Bar and Grille 3820 Brainerd Rd. mayosbarandgrill.com Callie Hopper 8 p.m.

Puckett’s Restaurant 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Buddy Mondlock 8 p.m.

Charles & Myrtle’s Coffeehouse 105 McBrien Rd. christunity.org Big Something ft. Funk You 7 p.m.

Songbirds Stages 41 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Sullivan Band 9 p.m.

Fireside Grille 3018 Cummings Hwy. firesidechattanooga.com Joylene Green 9 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Of Good Nature 9 p.m.

Clyde’s On Main 122 W. Main St. clydesonmain.com CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 21

LIVE MUSIC CALENDAR Mark Holder and MPH, Jordan Hallquist, Playing Possum Blues Band 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com Outlaw 45 10 p.m.

Bud’s Sports Bar 5751 Brainerd Rd. budssportsbar.com The Fridge 10 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com

SUNDAY3.4 Emily Kate Boyd 11 a.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Nikki Michelle & The Cosmic Collective 1:30 p.m.

Flying Squirrel Bar 55 Johnson St. flyingsquirrelbar.com Bluegrass Jam 4 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Open Mic with Jeff Daniels 6 p.m.

Long Haul Saloon 2536 Cummings Hwy. (423) 822-9775 Megan Howard 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Mathis & Martin 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Jack O’Shea & Ethan Luck 7 p.m.

The Daily Ration 1220 Dartmouth St. thedailyrationchattanoga.com Upchurch 8 p.m.

The Signal 1810 Chestnut St. thesignaltn.com

Dallas Walker Westfall, Giving Up 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

MONDAY3.5 Open Mic Night 6 p.m.

Puckett’s Grocery 2 W. Aquarium Way puckettsgro.com Zach Bridges 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Runaway Brother 7 p.m.

The Daily Ration 1220 Dartmouth St. thedailyrationchattanooga.com Monday Nite Big Band 7 p.m.

The Coconut Room 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Open Air with Jessica Nunn 7:30 p.m.

The Granfalloon 400 E. Main St. granfalloonchattanooga.com Maestro Herbert Blomstedt 7:30 p.m.

Collegedale Church of Seventh Day Adventists 4829 College Dr. E. collegedalechurch.com

22 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

Very Open Mic with Shawnessey Cargile 8 p.m.

The Well 1800 Rossville Blvd. #8 wellonthesouthside.com

TUESDAY3.6 Bill McCallie and In Cahoots 6:30 p.m.

Southern Belle 201 Riverfront Pkwy. chattanoogariverboat.com String Theory: Soovin Kim, Roberto Diaz, Andres Diaz, & Gloria Chien 6:30 p.m.

The Hunter Museum of American Art 10 Bluff View Ave. huntermuseum.org Jimmy Dormire 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com Dallas Walker 7 p.m.

Songbirds Guitar Museum 35 Station St. songbirdsguitars.com Danimal 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Open Mic Jam Session 7 p.m.

Crust Pizza 3211 Broad St. crustpizza.com Maestro Herbert Blomstedt 7:30 p.m.

Ackerman Auditorium 4881 Taylor Cir southern.edu Open Mic with Mike McDade 8 p.m.

Tremont Tavern 1203 Hixson Pike tremonttavern.com Chilhowee Royal, Shred Flintstone, Co. to Keep, WayNoBueno 9 p.m.

JJ’s Bohemia 231 E. MLK Blvd. jjsbohemia.com

WEDNESDAY3.7 No Big Deal 6 p.m.

SpringHill Suites 495 Riverfront Pkwy. springhillsuites.com Jonathon Wimpee 6:30 p.m.

Westin Alchemy Bar 801 Pine St. westinchattanooga.com John Duvall and Tim Neal 6:30 p.m.

Poblanos Mexican Cuisine 551 River St. poblanoschattanooga.com Old Time Fiddle & Banjo Show

6:30 p.m.

Fiddlers Anonymous 2248 Dayton Blvd.

(423) 994-7497 Jesse James Jungkurth 7 p.m.

Backstage Bar 29 Station St. backstagechattanooga.com Jazz In The Lounge 7 p.m.

Barking Legs Theater 1307 Dodds Ave. barkinglegs.org Denver Attaway 8 p.m.

The Office @ City Cafe 901 Carter St. citycafemenu.com Proven Ground: Open Mic Night 8 p.m.

Urban Grind Café 2193 Park Dr. urbangrindcafechatt.com Priscilla & Little Rickee 8 p.m.

Las Margaritas 1101 Hixson Pike (423) 756-3332 The Whistle Stops Duo 9 p.m.

The Palms at Hamilton 6925 Shallowford Rd. thepalmsathamilton.com Map these locations on chattanoogapulse.com. Send event listings at least 10 days in advance to: calendar@chattanoogapulse.com

RECORD REVIEWS ∙ ERNIE PAIK

Khruangbin, Hiroki Ono and Ryoko Ono

Khruangbin Con Todo El Mundo (Dead Oceans/Night Time Stories)

C

on Todo El Mundo, the second album from the Texas trio Khruangbin (Thai for “Engine Fly”), takes its name from a frequent exchange bassist Laura Lee had with her Mexican-American grandfather.

When he’d ask, “Cómo me quieres?” (“How much do you love me?”), she’d reply, “Con todo el mundo” (“With all the world”). Fittingly, Khruangbin makes music that draws from international sources and also evokes love, in the sort of elegantly sensual form.

While the group’s first album, The Universe Smiles Upon You, drew generously from ‘60s and ‘70s Thai funk, the new album moves toward the Middle

Hiroki Ono and Ryoko Ono NEWDUO Series 004 (onoryoko.bandcamp.com)

East—in particular, pre-revolution Iranian pop. (Note that the band had previously covered Googoosh, the Iranian superstar singer.)

However, the undercurrent is one of American funk, primarily due to the adept, tight drumming of Donald “DJ” Johnson, who frequently channels the spirit of Clyde Stubblefield in the best possible ways.

Guitarist Mark Speer’s reverberating melodic lines are gently psychedelic, complementing Lee’s milky, smooth bass lines, and there’s an easy-going, fluid quality that interacts with the deep, funk rhythms. Every so often, there’s a flourish— maybe an odd scale or a quick rhythmic sequence—that re-

minds the listener of the band’s deceptive alchemy; on one level, its grooves go down easy, but also small, careful, exotic details are there for those paying attention.

While primarily an instrumental band, vocals sometimes make appearances in muted forms, like on the ‘70sera soul-funk track “Lady and Man,” and the number “Evan Finds the Third Room” goes into disco funk territory—not in dance-fury mode, but in cooldown mode.

The irresistible vibe of “Maria También” might be what the Budos Band would sound like if reduced to a trio, and Speer’s restless solo melodies on the track are drenched in Eastern Mediterranean waters.

Khruangbin hasn’t yet plundered all the world for its musical excursions, but so far, it has created charming soul-funk that’s perfect for smoky makeout rooms all around the globe.

S

axophonist and flautist Ryoko Ono has probably never met an extended technique she didn’t like, drawing from a large and rich palette of radical sounds with the ability to use challenging techniques

like circular breathing and multi-phonics.

She has played with such acts as Ruins, Acid Mothers Temple and Richard Pinhas, and her latest series of EP releases has her pairing up with choice partners for collaborative improvisational duos.

The fourth and latest installment in the series features electronics manipulator Hiroki Ono, who plays in the spastic and insane trio Gakusei Jikken Shitsu with Ryoko Ono, and it’s chaotic, to be sure, but with a playful attitude that avoids being oppressive (well, for listeners who aren’t newcomers to free improvisation—frankly, many will find this unlistenable).

At first, this writer believed that the title of the opening track “D#” referred to a pitch, since Ryoko lingers on a single pitch for a while, varying the timbre with an assortment of inflections and throwing in some jazzy, slight pitch bends; Hiroki Ono contributes methodically lonesome drum beats treated with reverb and synth rumblings before Ryoko finally breaks free from the single pitch.

Her high-pitched squeals erupt from her alto saxophone, merging with ear-shattering

electronic high frequencies that give way to whooping tones. As the track progresses, things get messier and messier but they also get more joyful, surprisingly.

“A#” seems to be the sonic equivalent of rude noises and annoying mouth sounds, with screeches and sucking sounds, interacting with electronics that stutter and splatter, sometimes sounding like a person who had a gnat fly into his mouth and is trying to spit it out.

“B#” has a totally different personality, marked with Hiroki’s bright, chimpy sounds, some clear synth tones and zaps, perhaps resembling a video game possessed by the spirit of a hyperactive child, while Ryoko flutters and wrenches notes from her instrument.

Again, the mood changes completely for the final track, “E#,” with mysterious sustained tones, drones and hums that evoke windy storms with aural sheets; in the meantime, Ryoko wails on her sax, akin to some characteristic John Zorn playing, but ends up being more reserved, like a child hovering in mid-air in the corner of a room who has already explored every nook of her playhouse.

Follow The Pulse on Facebook (we’re quite likeable) www.facebook.com/chattanoogapulse CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 23

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY

The List

served self-love, and in recognition of the blessings that are currently showering down on your astrological House of Noble Greed, you are hereby granted three weeks’ worth of extra service, free bonuses, special treatment, and abundant slack.

How Do You Break Fast?

ROB BREZSNY

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

So we were curious as to how many Americans breakfast daily, and what they eat.

Luckily, our friends at the Statistic Brain Research Institute did some tasty morning research: • Percent of Americans who eat breakfast every day: 44% • Percent of breakfast skippers who are obese: 22% • Percent of Americans who believe breakfast is the most important meal: 93% • Percent of breakfast meals that include eggs: 12% • Percent of children who eat sweetened cereal for 1 or more breakfasts a week: 73% • Percent of parents who eat breakfast with their children: 79% • Percent of school children who eat breakfast regularly: 80% • of those, Percent who ate breakfast at home: 59% • of those, Percent who ate breakfast at school: 31% • of those, Percent who ate food from a local store: 18% • Percent of fast food sales that are breakfast meals: 21% Source: statisticbrain.com/breakfasteating-statistics/

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): As you make appointments in the coming months, you could re-use calendars from 2007 and 2001. During those years, all the dates fell on the same days of the week as they do in 2018.

On the other hand, Pisces, please don’t try to learn the same lessons you learned in 2007 and 2001. Don’t get snagged in identical traps or sucked into similar riddles or obsessed with comparable illusions. On the other other hand, it might help for you to recall the detours you had to take back then, since you may thereby figure out how to avoid having to repeat boring old experiences that you don’t need to repeat.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): On September 1, 1666, a London baker named Thomas Farriner didn’t take proper precautions to douse the fire in his oven before he went to sleep. Consequences were serious.

The conflagration that ignited in his little shop burned down large parts of the city. Three hundred twenty years later, a group of bakers gathered at the original site to offer a ritual atonement. “It’s never too late to apologize,” said one official, acknowledging the tardiness of the gesture.

In that spirit, Aries, I invite you to finally dissolve a clump of guilt you’ve been carrying…or express gratitude that you should have delivered long ago…or resolve a messy ending that still bothers you…or transform your relationship with an old wound…or all of the above.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Committee to Fanatically Promote Taurus’s Success is pleased to see that you’re not waiting politely for your next turn. You have come to the brilliant realization that what used to be your fair share is no longer sufficient. You intuitively sense that you have a cosmic mandate to skip a few steps—to ask for more and better and faster results. As a reward for this outbreak of shrewd and well-de-

24 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): No one can be somewhat pregnant. You either are or you’re not. But from a metaphorical perspective, your current state is a close approximation to that impossible condition. Are you or are you not going to commit yourself to birthing a new creation?

Decide soon, please. Opt for one or the other resolution; don’t remain in the gray area. And there’s more to consider. You are indulging in excessive in-betweenness in other areas of your life, as well. You’re almost brave and sort of free and semi-faithful. My advice about these halfway states is the same: Either go all the way or else stop pretending you might.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): The Appalachian Trail is a 2,200-mile path that runs through the eastern United States. Hikers can wind their way through forests and wilderness areas from Mount Katahdin in Maine to Springer Mountain in Georgia. Along the way they may encounter black bears, bobcats, porcupines, and wild boars. These natural wonders may seem to be at a remote distance from civilization, but they are in fact conveniently accessible from America’s biggest metropolis. For $8.75, you can take a train from Grand Central Station in New York City to an entry point of the Appalachian Trail. This scenario is an apt metaphor for you right now, Cancerian. With relative ease, you can escape from your routines and habits.

I hope you take advantage!

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Is 2018 turning out to be as I expected it would be for you? Have you become more accepting of yourself and further at peace with your mysterious destiny?

Are you benefiting from greater stability and security? Do you feel more at home in the world and better nurtured by your close allies? If for some reason these developments are not yet in bloom, withdraw from every lesser concern and turn your focus to them. Make sure you make full use of the gifts that life is conspiring to provide for you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “You can’t find intimacy—you can’t find home—when you’re always hiding behind masks,” says Pulitzer Prizewinning novelist Junot Díaz. “Intima-

Homework: What good old thing could you give up in order to attract a great new thing into your life? Testify at Freewillastrology.com cy requires a certain level of vulnerability. It requires a certain level of you exposing your fragmented, contradictory self to someone else. You running the risk of having your core self-rejected and hurt and misunderstood.” I can’t imagine any better advice to offer you as you navigate your way through the next seven weeks, Virgo. You will have a wildly fertile opportunity to find and create more intimacy. But in order to take full advantage, you’ll have to be brave and candid and unshielded.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In the coming weeks, you could reach several odd personal bests. For instance, your ability to distinguish between flowery bullshit and inventive truthtelling will be at a peak. Your “imperfections” will be more interesting and forgivable than usual, and might even work to your advantage, as well. I suspect you’ll also have an adorable inclination to accomplish the half-right thing when it’s impossible to do the perfectly right thing.

Finally, all the astrological omens suggest that you will have a tricky power to capitalize on lucky lapses.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): French philosopher Blaise Pascal said, “If you do not love too much, you do not love enough.” American author Henry David Thoreau declared, “There is no remedy for love but to love more.”

I would hesitate to offer these two formulations in the horoscope of any other sign but yours, Scorpio. And I would even hesitate to offer them to you at any other time besides right now. But I feel that you currently have the strength of character and fertile willpower necessary to make righteous use of such stringently medicinal magic. So please proceed with my agenda for you, which is to become the Smartest, Feistiest, Most Resourceful Lover Who Has Ever Lived.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): The state of Kansas has over 6,000 ghost towns -- places where people once lived, but then abandoned. Daniel

C. Fitzgerald has written six books documenting these places. He’s an expert on researching what remains of the past and drawing conclusions based on the old evidence. In accordance with current astrological omens, I suggest you consider doing comparable research into your own lost and half-forgotten history. You can generate vigorous psychic energy by communing with origins and memories. Remembering who you used to be will clarify your future.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): It’s not quite a revolution that’s in the works. But it is a sprightly evolution.

Accelerating developments may test your ability to adjust gracefully.

Quickly-shifting story lines will ask you to be resilient and flexible. But the unruly flow won’t throw you into a stressful tizzy as long as you treat it as an interesting challenge instead of an inconvenient imposition. My advice is not to stiffen your mood or narrow your range of expression, but rather to be like an actor in an improvisation class. Fluidity is your word of power.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): It’s the Productive Paradox Phase of your cycle. You can generate good luck and unexpected help by romancing the contradictions. For example: 1. You’ll enhance your freedom by risking deeper commitment. 2. You’ll gain greater control over wild influences by loosening your grip and providing more spaciousness. 3. If you are willing to appear naive, empty, or foolish, you’ll set the stage for getting smarter. 4. A blessing you didn’t realize you needed will come your way after you relinquish a burdensome “asset.” 5. Greater power will flow your way if you expand your capacity for receptivity.

Rob Brezsny is an aspiring master of curiosity, perpetrator of sacred uproar, and founder of the Beauty and Truth Lab. He brings a literate, myth-savvy perspective to his work.

It’s all in the stars.

JONESIN' CROSSWORD ∙ MATT JONES

THE COMIX

“It Bears Repeating”—but just a little bit.

ACROSS 1 Ballet garb 5 Cotton swab brand 9 Forfeit 13 Seafood often imitated 14 Abbr. on some beef 15 Soda, to a bartender 16 He followed Dan, Al, Dick, and Joe 17 Action star who’s yellow and full of potassium?

19 Notable times 21 University official 22 _ _ _ in “cat” 23 “_ _ _ du lieber!”

25 Negative votes 27 Minute 29 Make frog noises 31 Ms. _ _ _-Man 34 Madalyn Murray _ _ _, subject of the Netflix film “The Most Hated Woman in America” 35 Shake it for an alcohol-based dessert?

38 Inkling 39 Jim Carrey comedy “Me,

Myself & _ _ _” 40 Dermatologist’s concern 44 Classical piece for a jeweler’s eyepiece?

47 Clean thoroughly 50 Exist 51 Word before par or pressure 52 95 things posted

by Martin Luther 54 Fix, as a game 56 Actress Lupino 57 ‘50s election monogram 58 Similar (to) 61 Actress Russo 63 Rock nightclub open for a long time?

66 Critters that seem to find sugar 69 Dot in the ocean 70 “Easy-Bake” appliance 71 Treats, as a sprain 72 Grant consideration 73 Pied Piper’s followers 74 Shakespearean king DOWN 2 Self-proclaimed

spoon-bender Geller 3 Pay after taxes 4 Lyft competitor 5 Tex-Mex dip ingredient 6 Co. that launched Dungeons & Dragons 7 “_ _ _ not know that!”

8 Walking speed 9 Ohio team, on scoreboards 10 Track bet with long odds 11 North America’s tallest mountain 12 It’s opposite the point 15 Cassava root 18 _ _ _ Harbour, Florida 20 Songwriter Paul 23 Prefix before -monious 24 Gunky stuff 26 “This is _ _ _!” (“300” line) 28 Charlize of “Atomic Blonde” 30 Calculator with beads 32 “He’s _ _ _ friend” 33 Easy gallop

36 Recycling container 37 “Jazz Masters” org.

41 Spectators 42 Earned a ticket, perhaps 43 Juno’s Greek counterpart 45 Like _ _ _ (energetically) 46 Winter Olympics sled 47 Skip going out 48 It may come in sticks or wheels 49 Thrift shop purpose 53 Genre where you’d hear “pick it up!” a lot 55 Jeremy of 2018’s “Red Sparrow” 59 “Young Frankenstein” role 60 PBS science show for 45 seasons 62 Press-on item 64 Clifford’s color 65 Figure out (like this answer) 67 Drink from a bag?

68 Tajikistan was one (abbr.)

Copyright © 2018 Jonesin’ Crosswords. For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents perminute. Must be 18+ to call. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle No. 873 CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 25

COLUMN ∙ ON THE BEAT

Adventures With Business Cards Officer Alex shares another tall tale from the streets…at least we hope

Alex Teach

Pulse columnist

“D

EAR SIR OR MA’AM,” HE was writing in impossibly small block lettering. “I am so very sorry I hit your car, but I could not stay to make a report.”

He paused, gauging the amount of space he had left on the back of the business card as if he hadn’t already written those words at least 40 times by now. Officer Alex Teach was a very meticulous man.

“Smitty, you working the mall tonight?” he asked, looking up from his work for the first time in five minutes.

He set the pen down on the coffee table to wiggle his wrist before getting back to it.

“Yeah. You?” the very patient roommate asked in return. He’d just hoisted his body armor over his head and was reaching for the Velcro straps all without realizing he was already rolling his eyes at whatever this crazy ass-hat was going to say. He kept the lights and cable on but was it worth it?

“The golf cart. I need to do some rounds on the parking lot and I don’t want to use my car. It’s cool right?”

Teach asked calmly, knowing damn well he had been banned from their use just last year after an unfortunate accident involving a handicap ramp during a bank deposit run with a grossly unprepared J.C. Penney assistant manager.

In fact, he’d been asked not to return to the mall at all for some time, even as a customer.

“No. NO. Don’t even go there. I need this job. I’m taking the kid to the beach in June and this is paying for it.”

Teach continued writing before responding. “…Please call the office or cell phone listed on the other side of this card so we can make a wreck report and exchange insurance info.

Sorry again and thank you in advance.”

“Wait. You doing the business card thing again?” Smitty asked in a calm tone but with inner remorse. “You know we gotta pass him on the parking lot every morning at shift change.

He’s going to find out one day, man.”

With his free hand Teach brushed his fingers at him, his right hand still scribbling furiously. “Relax! It’s funny. It brings him joy. I know this guy, we’re practically best friends.” There was a brief silence indicative of bullcrap.

“Yeah well, I’m not getting canned from the mall like you did. Do what you want but I’m not handing you any keys.”

Teach looked up and showed Smitty whose business card pile he’d absconded with, and upon seeing the name it was now Smitty’s turn to pause before saying, “The keys stay in the ig-

26 • THE PULSE • MARCH 1, 2018 • CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM

“Police work is, by nature, both the worst and best job in the world.

When it’s good it’s great, when it’s bad it’s hell, but by and large the guys have a lot of fun.” nition though. Do whatever. No one will be watching.”

Police work is, by nature, both the worst and best job in the world. When it’s good it’s great, when it’s bad it’s hell, but by and large the guys have a lot of fun.

But it would seem that once you ascend the rank of, say, Sergeant, and become more administratively prone rather than street prone, your sense of humor tends to match your career trajectory: Jagged and more likely than not, flat.

So when administratively dealing with cops that are still “street oriented,” admin types tend to forget that this one problem for them is the ONLY problem for the guy or girl in front of them, and these guys have an alarming amount of time on their hands to let decisions fester and plot revenge, while you’re just wondering how to deal with the next guy or girl slated for coming in to get yelled at or praised (same thing).

I say all this to explain how fif-

ty different Police Chief’s business cards admitting fault to a parking lot crash wind up under the windshield wipers of fifty scratched, dented and wrecked parked cars on the parking lot of one of the largest shopping malls in the state of Tennessee.

Two cops, two roommates, hassled by the same guy. “It’s going to help him. You’ll see,” Teach said as he finished the last one, subconsciously straightening up the stack of cards as he prepped them for transport.

“Humor is fundamental.”

Smitty shook his head, but he was grinning as he cinched on his gunbelt and headed towards the door.

“You’re an idiot,” he said over his shoulder. But his smile was as real as the phone calls that asshole was going to endure the next several days.

They have their games, we have ours.

When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.

CHATTANOOGAPULSE.COM • MARCH 1, 2018 • THE PULSE • 27