Day 6 Stirs Up Conflict

Proverbs: Shut Your Mouth and Open It! Day 6 - Stirs Up Conflict

"There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: person who stirs up conflict in the community." (6:16, 19a) . . . a

"Whoever. . . spreads slander is a fool." (10:18) "Whoever derides their neighbor has no sense. . ." (11:12a) ". . . a harsh word stirs up anger." (15:1b) "A perverse person stirs up conflict. . ." (16:28a) "for their (the wicked) hearts plot violence, and their lips talk about making trouble." (24:2) "Do not testify against your neighbor without cause - would you use your lips to mislead?" (24:28) "As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife." (26:21) "An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits many sins." (29:22) "If you play the fool and exalt yourself, or if you plan evil, clap your hand over your mouth! For as churning cream produces butter, and as twisting the nose produces blood, so stirring up anger produces strife." (30:32-33) When I read these verses I hear my momma's voice: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!" I should remain silent more often. The Bible is not very flattering toward those who enjoy stirring up conflict. Those who do so are detestable to God, foolish, lacking sense, perverse, wicked, angry, and hot tempered. Think about that. If what comes out of our mouths reveals what is going on in our hearts - if you like to stir up conflict and get people "all riled up" - then something gross is going on inside. Why do we like to stir up conflict? I say "we" in the sense of us church people. As I write this, I am 43 years and 4 months old. Counting the time I was in my mother's womb, I have been in church well over 44 years. Yep. All of my life. I have seen my share of church conflict. I have been a part of church splits. I have

pastored through conflicts. I have heard words that should not come out of church people's mouths. . . toward other church people! Heck, I've had church people dye my yard in words toward me that shouldn't come out of anyone's mouth, much less church people (I'm serious. . . ask me about it sometime). So when I say "we" I mean us church people. Why do we like to stir up conflict? Why is it so prevalent in us? Think about it. Several reasons come to mind:

• We like power. Stirring up conflict gives us the power to "get things moving.” • We like control. Stirring up conflict gives us the feeling that we are in control of the narrative. • We like being the best. Stirring up conflict usually involves putting another down. Putting another down makes us look better. • We feel like "defenders of the truth." Instead of being kind and considerate, we aggressively stir up emotions in others about a belief that is being communicated that may contradict our own. • We've never dealt with our own wounds. Stirring up conflict is a way of projecting our own wounds on another. This happens all the time in and among church people. Usually the issue isn't "the issue," if you know what I mean. Hurt people, hurt people. (Might want to read that last sentence again.) I could go on. In case you haven't noticed, stirring up conflict is akin to gossip. In fact, the end of Proverbs 26 says as much. What should we do about it? Pay attention to our mouths and motives. Do you enjoy sharing potentially harmful and conflict-causing information veiled as a prayer request? Why? What's the first thing you tend to do when you have received information that fires you up? Who do you tell? Why? What purpose is it leading to? There are times and places and seasons for healthy conflict. Conflict can be good. But be honest. Most of what comes out of our mouths isn't for healthy resolution. It isn't because we are kind and loving and compassionate toward others. Lean into what comes out of your mouth toward and about others. Pay attention to why. Please. I really don't feel like redoing my entire yard again (ask me about it sometime).