Breathe Magazine January 2020- New Beginnings

MAGAZINE

VOL 01 / 15 JAN 2020

“THE SINGLE GREATEST CAUSE OF HOMELESSNESS IS A PROFOUND, CATASTROPHIC LOSS OF FAMILY. BECAUSE OF THIS, A HOUSE WILL NEVER SOLVE HOMELESSNESS…

but community will.”

-Alan Graham We believe when the family is removed, the community steps in. Salt + light’s mission is Community. The salt + light village will consist of both sustainable, longterm housing and opportunities for our formerly homeless neighbors to earn a dignified income.

To be part of the solution, join us. Donate at saltandlightworks.org

SALT + LIGHT WORKS | TULARE, CA Tucoemas proudly supports the efforts of Salt + Light Works with this message

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I feel most confident when I complete a project.” -Rick

RECOVERY STARTS HERE What is the SUD 24/7 Access Line?

SUD’s 24/7 Access Line, 1-866-732-4114 or TTY: 1-800-735-2922 is a confidential, free, 24-hours-a-day, 365-days-a-year information service for individuals and family members facing alcohol and drug addictions (substance use disorders).

What types of information will be provided?

How to access needed services

24/7 ACCESS LINE

1-866-732-4114 3

Referrals to local treatment facilities, support groups, and community-based organizations Will my information be kept confidential?

Yes, this service is confidential.

PAGE OF CONTENTS

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17

ARTICLES Beginnings 0 8 byN ew Gwen Schrank

ge l a’s Kitc h e n 1 6 byA nAngela

Gwen’s story and how Clubhouse Visalia came to be.

12

This Spicy Chili recipe will become your own soul food.

17

Wasti ng the Day Away

by Gwen Schrank

How to keep stress at bay and practice good self care.

14

Ra is in g M e n ta l ly S ta b l e K i d s

by Gwen Schrank

Some ways to give your kids a good mental health start.

e H a b it of S tin kin ’ Th i n k i n 2 0 byThGwen Schrank

Pr u n i ng P r e c e d e s F lou r is hing

by Connie Armerding

Lessons from gardening with a spiritual application.

What to do when your mind takes on a mind of its own!

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28

31

e B ad, The Old, and the U gly 3 1 2 3 byT hMartin Velasco A look at our local mental health system and its effects.

26

H e a rt of a M e n tor

by Art Arreola

What does mentoring look like, and is it for you?

3 4 M e n ta l H e a lth Dire c tory

My First Lov e

by Brittany Schrank

Lots of resources for our readers.

Being a f irst time mom doesn’t always look like you expected.

28

g w ith B ip ol a r 3 6 byL ivin Antonia Rose

Ru nn ing f or a C ause

Breathe invites you to take the challenge!

It’s not easy, but it is doable and Antonia shares how.

5

O|L One Love Nail Salon @onelovenails_ Text 559-730-8804 108 S Church St, Visala 93291

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE OUT TO COME IN!

thesourcelgbt.org 208 W Main Street Suite B Visalia, CA 93291 559.429.4277

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breathe MAGAZINE

A Message from the editor Gw e n Sc hra nk Editor

gwenschrank@gmail.com

Vale r i Ba rne s Pu b li s he r /M a r keti n g D i r ec to r breathe.valeri@gmail.com

T r av i s Walter D e si g n / p h oto g ra p h e r

travis@filmowlproductions.com

Co n t r i b ut i n g W ri te r s Gwen Schrank Angela Reed Katie Atkins Connie Armerding Brittany Schrank Art Arreola Martin Velasco

If your heart is telling you that it’s time for a new chapter in life, let the pages of our new Breathe Magazine inspire you to get real, feel real, and move in ways you’ve always hoped you could.

In this season of New Beginnings, we want to encourage you to let go of the things in your life that haven’t worked for you. We want to help you create room to breathe while becoming more engaged and passionate with the person you truly are.

So how can you start fresh? It all begins with awareness. In order to start somewhere, you have to take a 360 degree look at where you are today. Be honest and make note of every aspect of your life that consumes your time. Once you get real with where you’re at, you can determine what works and what doesn’t. Be courageous in getting rid of those things that drag you down.

The Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”

As you read Breathe Magazine, we pray that you find hope, courage, love, and resources to help you wake up each morning ready to take a deep breath and move in the direction of your calling. There is a purpose and a plan for your life because you are loved, valued, and respected. Make each day count and remember to breathe!

Now, delve into Breathe! How did this magazine come to be? See our story on page 8. Do you ever find yourself thinking about something pleasant, but in no time your thoughts have roamed over to the dark side? Come on, we all do it! Read “The Habit of Stinkin’ Thinkin’” on page 20. Wondering what the state of affairs is for our own county’s mental health care system? Does the system work as it is? Turn to “The Bad, the Old, and the Ugly” on page 23. And if you are in need of some help and are looking for options, please take advantage of our “Mental Health Directory” on pages 34-35.

Just breathe!

Gwen Schrank Editor

C i r c ul at i o n / D i s tr i b u ti on Jalin Schrank Rick Schrank Gary Anderson

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New Beginnings M y S to r y a nd Th e Story of Club h ous e Vi s ali a By: Gwen Schrank, Co-Founder and CEO–Clubhouse Visalia Ed i tor : B rea the M a ga zi ne

Imagine having an illness that isn’t

These are just a few of the experiences

contagious, however, everyone around

that are constant companions for those

you treats you as if you are. Doctors

of us who suffer from mental illness.

and clinical professionals take you

Our society has refused for decades to

away from everything that you love

deal with the real issues that plague

and everyone that you care about and

the mental health community. An out

put you in a place with others who also

of sight, out of mind mentality has

suffer from a similar illness. It feels like

prevailed. In the early 20th Century,

a place of isolation and confinement.

people were still being institutionalized for chemical imbalances in their brains.

Imagine the feeling of being used as a guinea pig for experiments by drug companies trying to figure out how to fix your mind, but their solutions take away the very best parts of you.

Imagine people knowing that you suffer from an illness, but instead of trying to help, they make you feel pitied and less then and that you don’t matter.

Imagine takes

living away

dignity, and don’t

in

a

world

your love

understand

that

self-worth,

because people your

illness.

Imagine wanting to die because no one around you understands what you’re going through or how you feel.

You

sense

only

judgement.

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In 1948, a group of former patients from a New York City hospital founded a place where those who were released from the hospital, still suffering with psychiatric disabilities, could go for refuge, support, and rehabilitation. The site was called Fountain House, and it was the very first Clubhouse created by people who suffered from mental illness for people who suffered from mental illness. The founders understood the fact that they needed to selfadvocate to find solutions for themselves and for others like them. They knew that they needed to do something to help people get back to being integral parts of society.

In the 1970s, deinstitutionalization laws were passed that created a pressing need for services in local communities.

It was recognized that there was a lack of support

Back to my story, the Clubhouse movement came just in time for

and services in place for the people who were being

me as I struggled with the side effects of living with anxiety and

released from mental hospitals. States began opening

depression for such a long time. From my teenage years, I felt a

drop-in centers where people could go during the day.

deep sense of emptiness and loneliness in my life, even though I

They were places where families could leave their

was surrounded by family members and friends. As a pastor in the

loved ones and know that they would be kept safe. Each

church for ten years, I felt as if my faith was lacking because the

one was basically an adult day care facility. It provided

thorn of mental illness was plaguing many moments of my daily

daily activities like arts and crafts, television shows,

life. The thoughts in my head were endless and uncontrollable

food, and other opportunities that were organized by

to the point where I couldn’t sleep more than an hour at a time

the clinical staff members and activity coordinators. during the night. The exhaustion overcame me and began to dominate my actions, which led to multiple attempts of suicide.

In 1994, the International Center for Clubhouse Development was established within Fountain House to give sufferers of

Things went from bad to worse for me in February of 2019. The

mental illness an opportunity to be included in the planning

suicidal thoughts that I was harboring were stronger than ever.

and involvement of their own treatment plans. It was a

I was determined to finish the job that I had attempted a few

revolutionary paradigm shift that ensured that people

times in the past. I needed to stop feeling empty and alone.

could play a role in comprehensive measures that would

I was also at a point in my life where I didn’t feel as if I owed

give them better quality of life skills while also helping

anyone anything. My three children were adults and living

with their self- worth. Clubhouse International was then

their own lives, my husband I were having marital problems

formed out of Fountain House to assist others interested

and discussing divorce, and my employers decided they no

opening this type of facility, starting a movement that has

longer needed me. While I was out on disability from a mental

now led to over 400 Clubhouses being opened globally.

breakdown, they determined that they could get volunteers do my job. I was devastated and felt as if I had nothing left to give.

The last thing that I remember after taking a whole bottle of pills was a vision of me holding Jesus by the shoulder begging him to help me.

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Little did I know that the plans had already been in

the

works

seventy

years

prior—plans

for

just

what was needed for me to heal and to open up a Clubhouse so others like me could also find wellness.

I woke up a few days later on a gurney in an ambulance headed to our local mental hospital. They rolled me into their intake area, had me put on scrubs—with the door open so anyone who walked by could see me dressing—and I signed papers that to this day, I can’t remember what they said.

The intake lady walked me through the halls to a bedroom that had two beds very low to the floor, a couple of shelves that were empty, and a restroom that had a dirty toilet, mildewed shower with no soap or shampoo, and an old sink that had cracked, dirty tile. I knew that, as the saying goes, “I’m not in Kansas anymore.” This place was different.

I had never experienced anything like it. There I was locked in a dark dingy building with no freedom. I was able to experience what it was like a hundred years ago for those who suffered from mental illness. I was put in an institution.

Later on I began to walk around and get a feeling for the rest of the facility. I saw people sitting in a room watching an old television show. As I looked at their faces, I could tell that they had given up, just like I had. I tried to talk to them a few days later, but didn’t know what to say because I really didn’t know what to think. Soon I began asking other patients about their hopes and dreams, and to my surprise, they were more than happy to share them with me. We had many conversations about their lives, their mental health journey, and the lack of assistance there that they needed to get well. The whole experience was eye opening for me, because I was locked up in a place where necessary resources were not available to us.

I could go on and on about my days there, but I won’t in this article. However, I did come to the conclusion there that if I made it out, I would need to make changes for myself and for the people who had been in and out of that facility for years.

About a month after I was released from the mental hospital, during a job interview for a program manager position in San Diego, I learned about Clubhouse International. I remember walking into the facility and feeling so loved and accepted.

Sharing my story, I did not feeling ashamed. People were working together toward their goals and supporting each other in ways that only they fully understood. It was a community of individuals who were headed in the same direction with the same hope of complete mental wellness. I started to research this program model, and Clubhouse International as a whole, whose sole mission is to help others like me open up clubhouses all over the world. I turned down the job offer in San Diego and decided to come back to the Central Valley armed with everything I needed to open a Clubhouse here.

Schrank’s Clubhouse, doing business as Clubhouse Visalia, is a safe place where individuals and their families can go to start the process of attaining mental health and wholeness.

It’s all about new beginnings. And it’s a place where we focus on working together to problem solve the issues that we have within the mental health community locally. We are creating a place of empowerment, inclusion, and freedom. When people walk through the door, we want them to feel loved, valued,

“This place was different. I had never experienced anything like it. There I was locked in a dark dingy building with no freedom. I was able to experience what it was like a hundred years ago for those who suffered from mental illness.”

and respected immediately. We are a community that will selfadvocate, as well as provide true awareness and prevention information to our county’s residents with the hope of stopping the stigma that is associated with mental illness. We also want to help save lives by providing resources for our members and access to care.

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Clubhouse Visalia is a program that is free for anyone who

Imagine living in a world where every day you can live in freedom without the fear of people judging you, because they know that you have an illness.

wants to join the movement. We are partnering with local businesses and organizations to bring enlightenment and resources to their employees and customers in regard to mental health. This is a huge step in the right direction for the mental health community; it will open doors to change the

Imagine the chemical imbalance in your brain being healed and

way employers view and deal with employees with mental

balanced, because you have taken the necessary steps to get

health problems. We offer an employer partnership alliance

well and create a life that is filled with love, respect, and value.

called the Distinguished Workplace Champion program. We celebrate the choices that these business owners are making

This is a new beginning for those who will benefit from

to help our community by hosting an event for employers to

Clubhouse Visalia and Breathe Magazine. This is the

sign a pledge to create change, awareness, and prevention

beginning of something new and innovative in Tulare

opportunities in their place of business.

County. This is a new beginning for change in the lives of our members and community. And this is just the beginning!

Last but not least, Clubhouse Visalia created Breathe Magazine as an avenue for giving a voice to those of us who have stories that need to be shared, so that we can reach out to and help those dealing with mental illness who are still trying to figure out what to do and where to go for community, help, and support. We wanted a venue for sharing information, resources, and inspirational material for those who need it the most. This is our time, this is our opportunity.

Imagine having an illness where everyone around you has some awareness of what you’re going through, so you do not feel alone and you do life together—creating change.

Imagine problem solving with your peers to find solutions to the problems that you face.

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Wasting the Day Away By: Gwen Schrank

It was a Saturday morning, and all that I wanted to do was stay in bed while continuing to feel the warmth of my weighted blanket holding me down. Thoughts and plans of the many lists of things that I needed to accomplish over the weekend ran through my head; however the tiredness in my bones didn’t want to give way to me climbing out of bed to tackle things that could be handled another time. At least that’s what my mind and body were telling me.

That morning, I decided to indulge myself a bit and spend time lying peacefully in my bed and avoiding all distractions. I was determined to become weightless and without thought, as if I was a rock in a soft spot. Nothing was going to lure me away from this moment as it held me so tightly. Enjoying the sunlight beaming through the window and the smell of the vanilla lavender candle at my bedside, I felt safe and comfortable surrounded by beauty, warmth, and softness. How long could I make this moment last? Could I spend the day, or maybe just another hour or two, completely and delicately resting in peace?

Then my bedroom door slammed opened and my kids came running in shouting, “Wake up! We’re hungry!” They piled atop my nice soft blankets. “I want pancakes,” my daughter insisted. “I want cereal,” said my son.

Okay, okay, okay, it was time to get about the business of my day. How could I ever think that I would be able to pamper myself for just a little while?

We live in a busy season of life where our days and nights are filled with one activity after another. It feels as if the twenty-four hours in a day have shrunk to a mere seven or eight, not giving us enough time to balance the activities of life and rest.

In today’s world, indulgence is frowned upon. Somehow, people have stopped indulging in the things that bring them good health and healing, but instead have started focusing more on things that add stress, anxiety, and shame.

Some people indulge in food, which leads to our bodies being overweight and unhealthy. Some people indulge in worrying over other people’s problems because they don’t want to face their own. They want to gossip and draw attention away from themselves in a way that diverts them from being emotionally healthy. Then there are those who indulge in the feeling of shame, and that takes them down a path of striving to make things better and working hard at things that don’t even suit them. It’s actually about who they think others want them to be.

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There are good things to indulge in, and bad things to waste your time on, but let’s take a look at why balance is necessary. Everyone needs balance in their lives. Balance is one of the most important goals a person should be working toward in order to apply it in their life. It provides both a space for achievement and a place for rest. It also helps you to determine your boundaries—when it’s time to go, and when it’s time to stop.

Unfortunately, in our society’s digital age, we are encouraged to always be on and available to others. The boundary lines are being blurred in a way that is causing more and more people to suffer from stress and be diagnosed with some form of mental illness. People are working, taking care of families, running around doing social events, spending countless hours on social media, and information is constantly flooding our brains to the extent that there isn’t any room left to take care of ourselves and get rest. There is no balance.

Today expectations appear to be greater than ever. Balance is often lost to us for days, weeks, and sometimes years. Many people don’t have a clue of what a balanced life looks and feels like.

Balance can be found in various ways. It will be different for each of us and depends on a person’s lifestyle, goals, and how they perceive balance as a whole. For me, it can be as

Here are a few suggestions to help you in your efforts to create a well-balanced life:

simple as wasting the day away and not feeling bad about it. It

Take care of and nurture yourself

has taken me a long time to shed the guilt, but with practice,

You cannot accomplish anything if you’re unhealthy. Get

I’ve managed to do it.

plenty of rest, exercise, and eat properly. Many of us think that

Wasting the day away, in my life, means sitting on the

we can burn the candle at both ends, but fail to realize that

couch all day watching movies, going from my comfy perch

we will burn out fast. Set aside time each day for an activity

to the fridge while staying in my softest pajamas. Sometimes

that you enjoy, such as walking, working out, or listening to

I take time to just be, while sitting in a really hot tub of

music. Read, meditate, or just take a nice hot bath.

bubbles, listening to my favorite Kenny G song, “Songbird,” over and over again. I love it! And I get the sense that I’m

Know your priorities

being restored.

Balance does not entail cramming in every activity possible.

There are a few things that I tell myself on wasted days.

Decide what’s important to you, and then set your boundaries.

First, I remind myself that my day isn’t really wasted. I’m

Avoid becoming overwhelmed by juggling too many big

actually doing myself a good service by balancing out the

projects in your life at once.

things that I must do with things that I want to do. I have come to accept the fact that I don’t have to spend every

Create awareness with an efficient mindset

waking hour doing.

Be organized and plan ahead. Take time to assess what needs

I’m learning that I need to provide my body, mind, and

to be done and be sure to allow for quality time for yourself

soul with the opportunity to rest and reboot. No, I didn’t finish

and family. Awareness is important to balancing and learning

the report that I needed to turn in on Monday, and I didn’t

from previous experiences.

make it to the gym for yoga class, and I didn’t reorganize my office, but I did let go. I let go of thinking that running on

Expect the unexpected

empty is okay. It’s not. We all need time to rest and ditch

Rather than get stressed and upset, learn to roll with the

the illusion that the world will stop turning if we don’t work

flow when dealing with something that you can’t control.

ourselves to the bone.

Stuff happens, and we’ve all experienced the unexpected. Do

Some people find constantly moving meaningful, as if

what you can, when you can, then take time to refresh and

they’ve lost something. I would like to encourage them to

rejuvenate yourself after going through unexpected crisis or

find peace in knowing that they have everything they need

situations. You’re worth it!

to do good work wrapped up in the gifts of breathing, resting, spending time recognizing the blessings that are before you,

Maintain a positive mental attitude

and giving thanks for them. When we’re too busy moving, we

Begin each day with the intention of making the best and

move right past the important moments of life.

most of it. It may not go as planned, but it can go smoothly if

I guess this conversation wouldn’t be complete and balanced if we didn’t discuss that fact that indulging too

you put it into perspective. Once you’ve done everything that you can within your control, let life unfold.

much can kick your life out of balance, as well. Those are the times where indulgence leads to laziness and unproductive

While we all can’t spend time sleeping our day away, and we

life habits. Overindulgence puts the balance of life in a state

can’t anticipate or plan for everything in our lives, we can

that eventually leads to being overwhelmed. When a person

decide how and where to concentrate our energy. This may

has leaned too much to one side or the other, the balance is

require some critical thinking and problem solving, but in the

off.

end it will lead to much less stress and a better balanced life.

Take some time to explore your life. Stop and pay

attention to your days. Work on balancing out some of the areas that seem out of control, demanding, and tiresome.

Embrace the idea of creating space throughout the day to become a better centered and more rested you.

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Pruning Precedes Flourishing

by Conni e Arme rdi ng

I grew u p i n a home w ith si lk p lants.

There weren’t a lot of them, but there

In August, a friend of mine came to town

were enough—enough to cause me

for a visit before the close of summer.

to never want any of my own. In my

She is the thoughtful and thorough type

adult commitment to live greenery, I’ve

who shared my disdain for silk plants,

realized maintaining these living things

but didn’t share my uncertainty with

is a bit harder than I thought. Regardless,

how to treat Ms. Fiddle Leaf. “I know

I couldn’t pass up a perfectly-priced

how to deal with those,” she offered,

fiddle leaf fig tree I found at Costco last

and proceeded to tell me that she has a

January.

“plant guy” who comes to make house calls to help instruct her on caring for

I had the perfect spot to showcase my

tropical plants.

beautiful tree; the corner of my living room with floor-to-ceiling windows.

“Of course you have a plant guy,” I

She was happy and thriving, at least for

retorted.

a while—until the brown spots started to show up.

Nonetheless, I gladly received the wisdom she gleaned from this plant

Oddly enough, the tree was growing

expert, and we spent the afternoon

and

lopping

producing

new

leaves

while

off

leaves

and

trimming

brown spots began to overtake some

back others, helping to reshape and

of the older ones. I knew I should be

strengthen my tree by eradicating the

concerned, but was confused about

brown spots. Albeit a bit lopsided, my

what to do. So I wondered and I worried

tree was looking greener than it had in

and I did nothing.

months.

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Philippians 1:5 tells us that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion. We can trust that God is about the business of making something beautiful out of our lives.

Our job is to trust Him with the process.

Where is the evidence of new life? Pay attention to the proof of new life, health, and growth. That is an indicator of God at work. He is the source of life, and when we remain rooted in Him, we flourish. Let’s be women and men who thrive until the end, which means we must embrace the pruning when it comes. “…Planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age; they will stay fresh and green.” Psalm 92:13-14 (NIV)

Connie Armerding is a writer, speaker and storyteller. She tells stories of her ordinary life to reveal the hope waiting to be realized in everyday moments. Connie is the Content Developer and Curriculum Writer/Editor for JOI Friendzy, a social emotional learning curriculum for K-8 students that is being used in schools across the nation. This curriculum teaches the foundations for establishing strong friendships to help combat the social isolation that is a growing epidemic in the youth in our nation.

Connie is married to her best friend and husband, Taylor, and they reside in Lake Oswego, Oregon with their four lively children. More of Connie’s work can be found at TRUTH + LOVE.

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Spicy Chili Ingredients

1 15oz Can Black Beans-Rinsed 1 15 Bush Mild Chili Beans 1 15oz Bush Medium Chili Beans 1 15 oz Can Bush Hot Chili Beans 1 ½ lb. Ground beef or Ground Turkey 2 Jalapeno Peppers w/ Seeds Diced ½ Onion Diced

Spices 2 TBS Cumin 2 TBS Chili Powder 1 Tsp Salt 1 TspBlack Pepper 1 Tsp Garlic Powder 1 Packet Lipton Onion Soup Mix

Directions Brown Ground Beef or Turkey with Salt, Pepper, Garlic Powder, Lipton Onion Soup Mix. Drain excess fat, add Cumin, chili powder, Diced Onion, Diced Peppers Sautee’ until peppers and onion are tender Add all chili beans and rinsed black beans to meat mixture,1 cup of water Let simmer for 30 min on Med-Low heat, stirring occasionally You can add additional Cumin, Chili Powder to taste

16

Raising Mentally Stable Kids

by G wen Sc hrank A child’s mental health is, without a doubt, the most important aspect of their social and cognitive development.

Children need to have good mental

It’s a diffuser process for any person,

health if they are going to live up to

let alone a child, to overcome such

their full potential and live a life that is

adversity. However, being proactive and

filled with positive experiences. It affects

doing all that you can for the child will

their willingness to do what is best for

at least help their mental health in some

themselves and the people around them.

positive fashion.

Even under the best of circumstances, it can be difficult to tell the difference between

challenging

behaviors

and

emotions consistent with typical child development and those that are cause for concern.

According to Kids Mental Health Informational Portal, there are a myriad

Children with mental health issues

of factors that can impact a child’s

will have a difficult time acclimating to

mental health status—both positively

different situations. Studies have shown

and negatively. Providing children with

that these children, if left untreated by

an environment that demonstrates love,

a mental health professional, will likely

compassion, trust, and understanding will

grow up and repeat these same behaviors

greatly impact a child, helping them to

with their children. These children tend

build on these stepping stones to create

to have a lower self-worth, negative

a productive lifestyle. Many children do

feelings, perform poorly in school, and

not live in that type of setting, though.

later become involved in unhealthy

Many children deal with a childhood that

lifestyle decisions. However, when these

is filled with angst, resentment, hatred,

children

distrust, and constant negativity.

can learn how to live a more promising

are

properly

treated,

they

They have a difficult time coping with

life. They can overcome many of the

their emotions. These children can make

issues that affected them without their

excellent candidates for mental health

consent. These children can live happy

programs.

and productive lives that are filled with love, harmony, and solid mental health.

17

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, young children may benefit from an evaluation and treatment if they:

•

Have frequent tantrums or are intensely irritable much of the time

•

Often talk about fears or worries

•

Complain about frequent stomach aches or headaches with no known medical cause

•

Are in constant motion and cannot sit quietly (except when they are watching videos or playing video games)

•

Sleep too much or too little, have frequent nightmares, or seem sleepy during the day

•

Are not interested in playing with other children or have difficulty making friends

•

Struggle academically or have experienced a recent decline in grades

•

Repeat actions or check people and things around them many times out of fear that something bad may happen

They also state that older children and adolescents may benefit from an evaluation if they:

•

Have lost interest in things that they used to enjoy

•

Have low energy

•

Sleep too much or too little, or seem sleepy throughout the day

•

Are spending more and more time alone, and avoid social activities with friends or family

•

Fear gaining weight, or diet and/or exercise excessively

•

Engage in self-harm behaviors (i.e. cutting or burning their skin)

•

Smoke, drink, or use drugs

•

Engage in risky or destructive behavior alone or with friends

•

Have thoughts of suicide

•

Have periods of highly elevated energy and activity, and require much less sleep than usual

18

It is easy to empathize with suffering we can see: a child who

With that said, go hug your babies and be thankful for the

has lost hair as a result of chemotherapy, for instance. The

blessings that they are.

suffering of a child with psychiatric issues is far less obvious.

Many children and teens with emotional problems keep their pain secret. Others express their feelings in risky or offensive ways. Due largely to stigma, there is also fear, shame, and

The best thing that you can do for your

misunderstanding about mental illness, which is why the

children and family is to find ways to man-

majority never receive clinical care.

Dr. Harold Koplewicz discovered and wants people to know the three myths about childhood mental health.

Myth 1: A child with a psychiatric disorder is damaged for life.

Truth: When a child’s struggles are recognized and treated, there is a good chance of managing or overcoming symptoms and developing into healthy habits.

1.

Stop over-scheduling

2.

Make time for play

3.

Make sleep a priority

4.

Teach your kids to listen to their bodies

5.

Manage your own stress

6.

Make mornings calmer

7.

Prepare your kids to deal with mistakes

Myth 2: Psychiatric problems result from personal weakness.

Truth: Psychiatric disorder is an illness, just like diabetes or leukemia, and not a personality type. We can’t expect children and teens to have the tools to overcome these challenges on their own, but they can recover with effective diagnosis and a treatment plan.

Myth 3: Psychiatric disorders result from bad parenting.

Truth: While a child’s home environment and relationships with his parents can exacerbate a psychiatric disorder, these things don’t cause the disorder. Things like anxiety, depression, autism, and learning disorders are thought to have biological causes.

However, parents play a central role in providing support and care that is crucial to their child’s recovery.

It is very important to pay attention to your child’s behaviors, feelings, and emotions, and to trust your instincts as a parent.

If you find yourself over-analyzing your child’s habits, don’t hesitate to talk to their pediatrician. It’s one of those better safe than sorry things. The earlier your child is diagnosed, the quicker they’ll have a treatment plan to help them manage their struggles. Myths are flying around about mental health because there is a whole lot of information out there. Again, trust your instincts as a parent. No one loves your child like you do.

Last, but not least, working toward having a less stressful life helps everyone in your family. This is always a good thing to seek out and practice.

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“ I feel the most confident when Im wi th my friends and famil y” -Kayla

The Habit of Stinkin’ Thinkin’ b y Gwe n S ch r a nk

Think about something that took you a really long

Let’s take a look at a different life habit. Most

time to learn, such as how to talk. Your first efforts to

people spend a lot of time “stinkin’ thinkin’” about

learn involved you as a toddler mimicking the sounds

negative experiences, fears, and failures. We don’t

that were around you; paying attention to the way

often think back to where or when we started to

your parents lips moved as they communicated with

form those thought habits because somewhere along

you. You noticed the way they held you and smiled at

the way, we practiced doing it over and over until it

you when you responded to them. You probably don’t

became an automatic habit loop. Most mental health

remember that because you were so young, but it is

professionals don’t believe that people want to

the process that everyone goes through to learn how

purposely bring themselves down by thinking negative

to speak. We all learned to talk by watching, listening,

thoughts, but it’s the center from which all of our

and practicing what others were doing around us.

actions stem, making it an important topic to unpack.

It turns out that habits are formed the same way we learn to talk, but it is called a “habit loop.” It’s a psychological pattern in which a cue or trigger tells your brain to go into automatic mode and allows the behavior to unfold. That process then creates a routine which becomes the behavior. Then a reward manifests which helps the brain remember the habit loop for the future. Back to talking, the more that we practiced the better we could speak. It became easier, up to the point to where we required very little thought to talking and responding to others. And like talking, this habit loop makes certain behaviors become automatic. Studies have shown that people will perform automatic behaviors the same way every single time if they’re in the same environment. But if their environment changes, it’s likely that behavior will change.

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W he re di d o u r th o u g h ts b eg i n t o ta ke hold a nd c a p tu re u s ?

Did it start when you were a child and were told that

Do you think it could have been that time you were

you were a bad kid because you enjoyed creating beautiful

passed up for a promotion for spending too much time

murals of flowers and trees—that looked just like the garden

creating infographics for the presentation? You were told that

that you passed by on your way to school—on the walls with

you didn’t have what it took to do the job well because you

your crayons? Was it that time you left the meatloaf in the

didn’t have the drive to be ahead of the curve?

oven too long as a teenager? The house filled with smoke

Your thought patterns began somewhere, and that

and smelled toxic, all because you were trying to get your

moment triggered something inside of your mind that

homework done. And you were told that you could never do

sounded familiar. It was something that you heard before.

anything right? Maybe it was that time that you were trying

It created a feeling deep inside of you called an emotion.

to break up a fight between two friends and ended up being

Those emotions include shame, guilt, hurt, pain, worry, and

suspended, handcuffed, and taken to the police station from

feeling unloved, which produces particular behaviors. These

school for being involved in a violent school incident? Or

behaviors come out in many different forms such as anger,

perhaps it was that time you found your significant other

aggression, addictions, and control, to name a few.

embracing someone else as you entered your favorite Italian restaurant, so you concluded that you just weren’t good enough?

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You’re probably thinking, “Where is the reward in that?”

For many, the reward is allowing them to blame others

Every emotion comes with a mental rundown of what’s happening. This is your opportunity to identify various thoughts.

for their problems. As long as you can put the why on someone else, you don’t have to own it yourself. You tell

What are you thinking that is causing you to feel these

yourself that you don’t have to deal with it. Oftentimes, it

emotions? Strangely enough, even if the meaning you give a

makes a way for you to empower yourself and shut people

situation is painful but corroborates your mental framework,

out of your life. It gives you some sense of control. Please

you will still feel a bittersweet sensation. The mind is in a

take note that those are all false narratives on what is really

state of believing in its emotions such as fear, rejection, or

going on. If you continue to allow false narratives to control

feeling unlovable. It initiates the release of the pleasure

your behaviors, you will only find yourself going through

hormone dopamine. This is your brain wanting to protect

the same problems over and over again, but with different

you. Dopamine stimulates you to seek out pleasurable

people and situations. Sometimes our thought habits and

activities. This could come in the forms of food, sex, or

patterns run so deep within us that we have a hard time

drugs, to name a few. By being aware of what your triggers

letting them go. We’ve allowed them to own a place in our

are—how you feel and your urge to seek out activities that

brain.

may not be best for your mind, body, or soul—you are put in

The good news is that just as we learn bad habits, we

a positive place to become a wise protector of your mental

can also learn good habits. Just because we don’t always

space. Instead of letting your internal commentator have a

recognize or remember where the habit came from,

heyday, you can throw it off by coming up with the opposite

like learning to talk, we can change through awareness,

reaction to what it’s throwing at you. Change your mental

gathering information, mimicking, and practicing new

environment by choosing to focus your thoughts on the

habits. When we learned to talk, we started gathering

opposite of what triggered your negative thoughts. Be bold

information long before anything ever came out of our

and courageous in cancelling out those negative thoughts

mouths. We paid attention to smiles, eye gazes, and other

in your head and replacing them with what is true, right,

cues that our parents were providing.

noble, and pure. The more you think about these positive,

Before we start changing our negative thoughts, it’s

opposite thoughts, the more they sink into your long-term

a good idea to take note about where you are in life and

memory and subtly change those negative mental reruns.

what problems you find yourself repeating. Sometimes the

You will want to practice every time that you are triggered

awareness of conversations that you have with loved ones

and become aware.

and coworkers make you feel a certain way. If you are the

Remember, decision-making makes you feel in control,

type of person who journals, go back and read some of the

and that’s exactly what your brain needs when it’s churning

things that you have written over the years to see if you can

through those same old negative thoughts over and over.

find a pattern of experiences that don’t bring you joy.

So go ahead and take positive action, then feel proud for

In changing our habits of negative thoughts, we want

having done so. Your brain will thank you for it.

to start gathering as much information as possible, and, according to cognitive behavioral therapist studies on selfconfidence and changing bad habits, we want to start with our emotions. They are triggers and cues that help us start the process of changing our habits. Ask yourself whether it’s anxiety, worry, sadness, or frustration that you’re feeling. Then you can verbalize that emotion to hold it captive rather than succumb to its urge to act.

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The Bad, The Old & the Ugly b y M a rt in Ve l a s co As someone who has struggled with depression and symptoms of ADD, I understand how difficult it can be just to get out of bed, let alone find help. And it’s not like I don’t want the help. Like most of you, I just want to live a normal life. I want an education. I want to work and provide for my family. I want to pick up those hobbies I used to love and

Alexandra Farmisaran is a hardworking wife and artist

call back my friends. But most of all, I want my life back. I

out of Woodlake and an old friend of mine. She has been

want to wake up and feel like I have a future. I want to walk

struggling with depression since childhood, with her first

outside and enjoy the blue sky again. And when someone

suicidal thoughts appearing as early as the fifth grade.

asks, “How are you?” I want to smile and say I’m good—and

This followed her into adulthood and lead to multiple

truly mean it.

hospitalizations. “I would have owed tens of thousands of

But the reality is that we are in the middle of a mental

dollars to the hospital if I didn’t have insurance,” Farmisaran

health crisis. There are roughly 43 million people in the

said.

U.S. suffering from mental illness—that’s more than the

“I just think it’s funny how if you’re dealing with

depression and not wanting to live and then get hit with

population of California. And those are just the people that

these hospital bills, it would make me want to kill myself

are open about it. God only knows how many more are

even more to escape that because I’d never be able to pay it

suffering in silence. Yet, the system put in place to help meet the growing need is ridiculously expensive, old, and just plain

off while dealing with all my other debts.”

broken.

A Dying Profession

The Price is Just Too High

Psychiatry is one of the oldest workforces in the United

I don’t have to tell you that medical care is expensive.

States. According to the Permanent Journal and notable

But medical care for mental illness is notoriously pricey.

physician firms like Merrit Hawkins, most psychiatrists have

For those that are lucky, a local college counselor or a close

met or are near retirement age. In fact, nearly half of them

friend and some lifestyle changes are enough to keep their

are expected to retire within the next five years. So while the

demons at bay. But others aren’t so lucky. For those with

demand for mental health services is growing, the supply of

severe mental illness, it is imperative not only that they

psychiatrists is dwindling. There are states like Idaho where

seek counseling, but that they also find a good psychiatrist

there are only five psychiatrists for every 100,000 people.

to diagnose and prescribe them with proper medication.

And the story repeats itself beyond the psychiatry field.

Neither of these options is cheap. Although insurance may

Other departments in the mental health arena routinely find

partially cover the cost of your medication, it’s unlikely that

themselves understaffed and overwhelmed with patients. It’s

a psychiatrist will take it.

not uncommon for people to find themselves on a waiting list

Most psychiatrists run a cash only business. To give you

for weeks or even months before they can see a counselor.

an idea of what it can cost, a popular psychiatrist in our area

And once you do get a counselor, there’s no guarantee that

will charge $500 just for a consultation. After that, it’s $100

they’ll be a good match or that they’ll stick around.

for every 15-minute session. It’s no wonder we choose to self-

I have, personally, gone through a variety of therapists

medicate, or it takes us an average of 10 years to get proper

before finally finding my current one. That was after

treatment after symptoms of depression have emerged. We

dealing with a revolving door of “student therapists,” just

live in a society where we’re forced to choose between our

completing their hours, because I couldn’t afford or find a

mental health and paying our bills.

psychotherapist with more experience.

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And while counseling is helpful, these are professionals that lack the ability to diagnose and prescribe needed medication.

And as we know, mental health treatment is a multifaceted approach. More often than not, just talking about your problems simply isn’t enough. So even after years of searching and finally finding a good therapist with experience, I was still stuck with an incomplete treatment plan that significantly delayed my healing process.

Team Work, Openness, and Advocacy The good news—and yes, there is good news—is that medical professionals are not blind to the ugliness of the mental health system. They agree that the conventional approach to mental illness is not working, and they’ve already taken the initiative to change things up. The first step is to take on a more collaborative approach to treating mental illness. Psychotherapist, psychiatrists, primary doctors, and nurses need to work together in the same clinical setting. There are some smaller medical institutions that have

Forget the System Call me a hippie revolutionist, but there’s no denying the system is broken. The traditional approach to treating mental

implemented this approach with positive results. Numerous studies have found that institutions that incorporate the collaborative care model have reduced the price of treatment for all socioeconomic groups and are more effective at treating mental illness.

illness has its merits, but it’s vastly outweighed by the downfalls.

Prices are high, waitlists are long, medications can have an assortment of terrible side effects, and the system, as it stands now, only seems to be serving our most wealthy and privileged.

The U.S. National Library of Medicine | National Institutes of Health revealed that “Elderly, minorities, and low-income groups, uninsured, and residents of rural areas are less likely to receive adequate mental health care, and most people with severe mental health problems receive no treatment or inadequate treatment for their disorders.” In other words, it’s the people that need help the most who are being left in the dark. Not to mention the stigma surrounding mental illness. Part of the reason why treatment is so expensive is because of the way our society views mental illness. Insurance companies simply don’t see mental illness as a legitimate medical issue, like they would if someone was diagnosed with cancer or heart disease, despite

The second piece of the puzzle is rethinking what we define as treatment. Healing can blossom out of a good therapist and a proper prescription. But that doesn’t mean it’s the only way. More and more medical professionals are suggesting that patients try alternative medical treatments to supplement their regular treatment.

Acupuncture has been found useful to treat anxiety. Mindfulness exercises through meditation are useful to treat symptoms of schizophrenia and other mood disorders. And herbal supplements like omega-3 fatty acids and holy basil are often recommended. We get so caught up in our western drug-based medicine culture that we forget there are other schools of thought, like Chinese and Ayurvedic medicines that yield positive results. All of this coupled with a shift in philosophical thinking and healthy lifestyle changes can help fill the gap where the system can’t and lead to great improvement of our physical and mental health.

mental illness being the leading cause of disability in the world!

It’s time for a new approach.

The final step is the most important. We need to shift the status quo. We need to speak up, advocate, and strive to stop the stigma that surrounds mental illness. That means being vulnerable and opening up and sharing our own struggles. It means taking action. It means that when a friend or family member says they are struggling, you don’t just listen; you pick up the phone and make that call with them. It means taking their hand and walking alongside them to the Clubhouse or to that next appointment when you can. Yes, we are in the middle of a crisis with an old, understaffed, and overpriced system. But we have more tools and support than we think. Breathe Magazine and Clubhouse Visalia are just the beginning, a new beginning. And we all have a long journey ahead of us. But we don’t have to walk it alone. Not anymore.

Martin Velasco-Ramos is a journalist for the Valley Voice newspaper double majoring in English and Psychology at College of the Sequoias.

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25

M Y F I R S T L OV E

by B ri ttany Sch rank I remember the first time that I was

As I think back to that day and look at

pregnant. I was so excited about the

pictures, my face was so blank. I looked

baby inside me. I heard so many things

extremely tired. I didn’t know what to

from many different women who had

do. It was a little difficult to breastfeed

experienced pregnancy. They told me

at first, but then I got the hang of it.

things like, “You’re going to be the best

And then just as I got the hang of it,

mom ever because you are so good

the fear set in. I didn’t know if my son

with kids.” Some said, “You’re going to

was getting enough nourishment. So

experience an overwhelming level of

I decided to pump more, which led to

love after you give birth.” Many of them

feeding him out of the bottle more than

even scared me half to death about the

I had anticipated.

pain that I would experience, and often suggested that I have an epidural.

My memory today is really fuzzy because I don’t remember much of what

I went through my pregnancy feeling

happened when I got home. That first

like I needed to get prepared, but I

night, my son slept with my parents. I

didn’t really know what to prepare for.

remember just wanting to rest. The rest

I thought, “I’ve been around lots of

that I needed grew into more rest that I

kids—things will be okay.” Then a few

thought I needed, and before I knew it,

months later my water broke, and it

my son was a few months old already

was time to welcome my little bundle

and time had gotten away from me.

of joy! My labor wasn’t so bad, but

I’ve since learned about the powerful

I did opt in on the epidural. It caused

emotions that come with having the

unexpected side effects like the shivers.

“baby blues” that hits some us of after

However, the lack of pain made that

childbirth. Recently, I learned about

bearable. Sixteen hours later, and three

postpartum depression. It can interfere

big pushes, and my little boy was born.

with a mother’s ability to care for her

He was six pounds, ten ounces, and

baby and handle other daily tasks.

nineteen inches long. He had a head full of hair, but I didn’t get a chance to see it because they took him to the other side of the room immediately to clear out his mouth.

I was looking for that overwhelming feeling of love that everyone talked about. Where is it? My thoughts took on a life of their own.

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“I f e lt ove r w h e l me d, sc a red, a n d wo ul d o f t en ha n d my s o n ove r t o my mo m o r da d” I felt overwhelmed, scared, and would often hand my son over

And there are places to go to share your fears and concerns.

to my mom or dad the first chance I got. Thankfully, for me and

I’m starting a new program at Clubhouse Visalia called “Living

my son, our supportive family helped us through the process.

4 Later.” It’s a support group for moms. In it, mommies will

However, as a mother who has experienced it, I want to make sure

find a safe place to come together and share life, encourage

to learn as much as I can about it and help support other mothers as well.

one another, and just breathe. We will work as a group toward

A few months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. My whole

moment, but to plan for the future, as well.

making sure that we not only stop and smell the roses in the

experience was much different. With my daughter, I was able to go through the whole childbirth process feeling that huge sense of

Living 4 Later meets the second and fourth Thursdays of

unconditional love for her I had expected with my son. For a little

every month, 10 a.m. to noon. Lunch will be provided. Visalia

while, I felt guilty for not having the same experience with my son,

Clubhouse is located at 206 E. Oak Ave in Visalia. Please call

but now that I know that it wasn’t my fault—I cultivate a great love

559-754-2909 if you have any questions. I’m looking forward to

for him, unconditionally, now and every day.

meeting you!

If you are feeling depressed after your baby’s birth, you may be reluctant or embarrassed to admit it. But if you experience any symptoms of postpartum depression, make sure to speak with your doctor, a counselor, a friend, or your family about it.

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B ri ttany Sch rank The mot her of t wo beaut iful c hildren Gra y s o n and Augus t . She is t he Co-Founder of Club ho us e Vis alia and enjoys s pending t ime wit h ot he r moms .

Join Ou r B re at h e T e a m C ha lle ng e

by G w e n S c h r a n k

Running for a great cause Every January people make New Year’s resolutions to get

California’s race day is on May 9th, 2020 and registration

healthier, lose weight, and become the best versions of

opens on February 1st.

themselves. Oftentimes, they lose interest in those goals a few weeks or even a few days after making the commitment to change. This year we want to challenge our readers to join us in preparing for an upcoming event created to provide awareness and prevention throughout the United States—our very goal here at Breathe. We plan to support and participate in the Fifty Five Fifty Run/Walk Series developed by Adel

In the meantime, we get the opportunity to come together to train for it. Wouldn’t it be an awesome opportunity for the California Central Valley to represent mental wellness in ways that reach all across the country? We would like to take as many people with us as possible.

B. Korkor, M.D. as a way to address the epidemic of mental health problems. His idea of running a 5k race in all 50 states

Some of you may be having a hard time getting off the couch

in 50 days has become his effort to start a movement that will

after going through this past holiday season. We want you to

spread from one coast to the other, one state at a time. The

know that you are not alone. Getting off the couch is half the

mission of the Fifty Five Fifty Run/Walk Series is to make the

battle. You got this! We are going to meet you wherever you

world a better place for those suffering from mental illness.

are on this journey. If you are not the type of person who likes

The funds raised from the walk will be used by the AB Korkor

jogging or running, that’s okay, too; you can join our team as a

Foundation to increase awareness, address the shortage of

walker. If you can’t walk, then perhaps you can support others

affordable care, emphasize the importance of wellness in

who will be.

mental health, fund research, and focus on underserved groups such as veterans, minorities, and those suffering from addiction.

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The point of this whole challenge is to start moving together

Just a few reps of each exercise will do the trick.

and in the same direction, creating awareness and prevention for those who suffer from mental illness. We can support

Each workout starts with a five minute warm-up that consists

people who are trying to hold on for dear life by showing them

of a brisk walk. The first workout is a 20 minute session that

that we are willing to step outside our comfort zone to walk,

features two minutes of jogging with 10 minutes of walking.

jog, or run to help them. So let’s get started!

The second week of runs require jogging for slightly longer, and by week four you will be jogging half of a 5k. It starts to get easier.

G ea r ing up

There will be days when you just want to stay on the couch.

As new runners, it’s important to get the proper running gear.

This includes properly fitted shoes. Visit a local running shoe store to be fitted for the right size. More than just sizing, these specialty shoe stores can assess how the foot lands when running and recommend sneakers based on individual needs.

Having the right running socks is important as well. They need to be comfortable, soft, and breathable. Avoid cotton because this material sucks in the sweat. Look for moisture wicking options to keep your feet dry and blister-free.

The good news is that there are only three days dedicated to training per week. The other days can absolutely be used as rest days to do exactly that. If you are an over achiever, you can include other forms of exercise on other days. This helps to increase endurance, makes the body stronger, and works out different muscle groups, which can all help to make you faster. With that said, diet is also important—not just for weight loss. Eating smart is always a good idea. This means cutting calories and ditching sugary drinks, unhealthy carbs, and eating more fruits, veggies, and healthy carbs.

Coming together for the fitness challenge is more than a program. It is a positive lifestyle change that helps us have a different and better outlook when it comes to our health. It will require us to dig deep and find motivation on days when we just want to give up. We encourage you to find a buddy to train with and stay in contact with our team as a whole for encouragement and motivation. We are here for each other and together we can achieve anything.

Tr a ining People at all fitness levels can compete and train in this program. It is specifically geared toward beginners who have spent many months hanging out on the couch with little to no exercise routine at all. We don’t want to overwhelm anyone who feels anxiety about being part of a fitness team challenge.

It’s important to stretch before and after a run, warming up those muscles being laced up. Never skip warm-ups for any reason because they reduce the possibility of injury. It’s also a good idea to incorporate a pre-warm up to the warm-up walk.

This can include jumping jacks, high knees, and lungs just to get your heart rate up and blood flowing.

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www.gsclubhouse.org to join our Central Valley Breathe Team www.f ivef iftyf ifty.com for additional information about the Five Fifty Fifty Walk Run for Mental Health

30

The Heart of a Mentor b y Art Arre ola A good mentor provides us with a

My very first mentor was just a kind

clear and distinct advantage. They offer

and caring man who happened to drive

experience, insight, encouragement,

the street sweeper and garbage truck

and inspiration personally designed

for the city where I grew up. We would

to help us grow. Mentors can be

hear the roar of the engine coming

specifically trained or gifted in a given

down the street as we played in the

area, like a coach or teacher. They can

yard on a hot summer day. Some days

be experts on a subject and sought out

he would pull up by the curb and slowly

for their knowledge and ability to train,

make his way down from the sweeper

prepare, and inspire us. They can help

with a toy he found discarded and fixed

develop our business and sales skills

in his spare time. My brother and I got

so we can be more productive in our

our first bicycles from this thoughtful

careers. Used as guide or life coach,

and caring man. Like him, the heart of

they can teach us to prioritize and

the common mentor desires to invest in

think better for personal development.

his or her neighbor something of great

Whether it is a golf swing or to simply

value. Mentors are builders within their

ace that test, nail the interview, or to

communities who invest in others. Each

help us develop a personal growth

mentee is like a building block that is

strategy, mentors are there for us. They

shaped and molded with the mentor’s

see things we can’t see and offer us

guidance.

unique perspectives that can then be applied to the challenges we face each day.

As you can imagine, mentors come in a variety of forms, therefore, they can help us in a variety of ways.

They partner with us and develop our hidden potential into outward results.

Where possible, they can work one-onone with the mentee or be accessed through social media, books, blogs, podcasts, seminars, etc.

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In this brief article, we will take a closer look at the

There are golf swing coaches and mentors who have

“Life Coach Mentor” and the special relationship and bond

never won a Master’s tournament, yet they have an amazing

that develops as a result. At the heart of a good life coach

gift and ability to teach and ultimately influence someone

mentor is the evidence of character and integrity. This mentor

to go somewhere they would never have gone otherwise.

will ultimately help bring out and shape new attitudes,

However, when selecting a life coach mentor, you’ll want to

perspectives, and beliefs within the mentee.

find someone who has been there and hopefully beyond.

Often, the mentee will need to change their thinking and overcome fear and doubt to arrive at their destination.

These mentors lead and guide through example and intuition.

That said, there is an obvious sense of vulnerability required at each step in the process. We will cover what to look for when selecting a life coach mentor in just a moment.

The very best mentors use a combination of tools and disciplines. They have the ability to watch and listen carefully to see where their mentee is and then help them go where they want to go. Like a map in the mall or on a busy street that

They share their own journey, testimonials, and insight along the way. They work closely with the mentee on a very personal level, and therefore have a unique opportunity to shape their thoughts and perspectives in powerful ways.

It is always the responsibility of the mentee to know where they want to go and to be an integral part of the process every step of the way. The mentor serves as the guide and navigator. Good mentors do not solve our problems— they artfully use them in the creative process.

states, “You are here,” we first have to know where we are in order to get to where we want to go. The best life coaches are skillful listeners first before they can begin to offer direction.

Once there is clarity on where we are, we can begin to map out where and how we are going forward. It is very important that both parties are in agreement on the end result so there is harmony, clarity, and accountability.

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It is no t the ro le o f the mento r to te ll us wha t to d o o r how to d o it. A s k i llf ul mento r help s us think tho ugh th e p ro b lem, clea rly id entify it, a nd c o ns i d e r a ll p o s s ib le o p tio ns a nd o utco m e s .

They build on our ability to process and observe from multiple perspectives to determine the best solutions available.

with a clear and distinct advantage. They teach us to see things

They train us to think in creative ways and abandon old solutions

the challenges we encounter every day. They train us to think

for new ones. A mentor will teach us the difference between scarcity

creatively by design and to abandon faulty beliefs and self-defeating

and abundant mindsets. They challenge us from within so we can see

patterns. We take from them confidence and competence through

and face our bias and limitations as opportunity for improvement.

new experience, observation, reflection, and application. They serve

Redefining failure, the mentor will use it as a means to improve

as a map and a guide to illustrate where we are. Using a variety of

our approach and technique. They know that how we view things

applications to shape how we view ourselves and the world around

will ultimately determine how we’ll do things. They, too, have been

us, they enable us to intelligently take on greater risk and reap the

mentored and understand the power of mindset and bad habits.

rewards. These motivational teachers are willing and able to use

Their patience and personal experience will be utilized as a means of

their time and talents to take us places we could never go alone.

transportation. Visualization and metaphor are common techniques they will apply to get the mentee to see things from another view

Finally, it cannot be overstated that the mentor provides us already within us and to develop our unique perspectives through

“When you give your best effort you may not always be successful, but you will always be fulfilled.” –John Maxwell.

A mentor will help us design a personal growth plan and a

and decide to use that skill routinely.

My mentor and teacher John Maxwell says, “What I believe

strategy for personal development throughout our lives, thus giving

about life determines how I perceive life, which determines what I

us life skills that cannot be acquired through any other means. In

receive from life.” These are very powerful words that have shaped

time and with practice, we learn to roll up our sleeves, mentally, and

my own perceptions.

embrace failure and challenges as a means to grow and apply new

Another common technique often used by good mentors

ways to think and overcome. We learn how to glean from others

is the counterintuitive process where what is normal, logical, or

and add value to ourselves—taking progressive steps that in time

believed to be true is then contradicted and challenged in order to

become quantum leaps. Mentors make a personal investment in us

see things in new ways. Seeing things in new ways becomes the new

and help give back something meaningful and practical to the world

norm.

around them. “To whom much is given, much will be required.” Luke 12:48 ART ARREOLA

Art is a certified Coach, Trainer, and Speaker through the John C Maxwell Certification Program. He has served as a mentor with the Craig School of Business, California State University, Fresno the past 14 years. He serves as the Team Lead in the Divorce Care Program at his church. As a Division Manager with the County of Tulare, he focuses on staff development and customer service.

ASK KATIE

Confidence is difficult as a 14 year-old trying to find my identity and acceptance. As a teen I want nothing more than to be independent, making my own decisions and building the life I dream of. Like me all teens seek independence and strive to be on their own, confidence is the key ingredient to that successful path. Confidence fosters growth and is the force that motivates individuals to aspire to things greater than themselves. My inner confidence presents itself when I establish goals and work hard to achieve them. My success in achieving those goals increases my confidence giving me the motivation I need to reach a little farther. With every accomplishment confidence grows fueling my inner drive to shoot for the stars.

I will have a column in Breathe every issue called “Ask Katie.” I invite you now to send in your questions to me—on anything you’d like, within reason—and I will respond in a future issue. Email your questions to breathe.mag.info@gmail.com.”

By: Kate Atkins

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Living with Bipolar

by A ntoni a Ros e Living life to the fullest is the message that

I have been living with bipolar 1 for at least 18

I want people to learn about being bipolar.

years. It started with a huge manic episode, and as I think back on that time in my life, I

This is a disorder that can be tricky and

realize that it lasted a few weeks and began

results in extreme highs and lows. There

with me not being able to sleep at night. I

are two types of bipolar disorder: bipolar

currently pay close attention to my sleep

1 and bipolar 2. According to the National

patterns because I want to make sure that

Institute of Mental Health, the basic aspects

I am not headed into a manic episode. Self-

of bipolar disorder involve clear changes in

care is very important, and being aware of

mood, energy, and activity levels.

my own mental health is crucial to my overall health and wellbeing.

Bipolar 1 disorder is defined by manic episodes that last at least seven days, or by manic symptoms that are so severe that the person needs immediate hospital care.

Usually, depressive episodes occur, as well, typically lasting at least two weeks. Episodes of depression with mixed features having depression and manic symptoms at the same time are also possible.

Bipolar 2 disorder is defined by a pattern of depressive episodes and hypomanic episodes, but not the full-blown manic episodes described above. There are other disorders that are also related to bipolar disorder known as cyclothymic disorder which is defined by numerous periods of hypomanic symptoms as well numerous periods of depressive symptoms lasting for at least two years or one year in children and adolescents.

However, the symptoms do not meet the diagnostic requirements for a hypomanic episode and depressive episode.

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Another symptom that I experienced occurred when one of my daughters was five years old. I was very tired from lack of sleep and started making decisions that were not the best for my family. I took my daughter shopping for school clothes and spent over $300 that I could not afford. I didn’t care about the budget. I didn’t care whether or not I had the money. I just felt the need to spend excessively. After realizing that my daughter couldn’t keep the clothes that I bought her, I felt humiliated when I had to go back to the store to return the clothes. I can’t imagine what my daughter felt, not being able to keep the clothes that her mother had bought her.

Many times the manic episodes didn’t stop with me trying to fix the problems that I caused, but instead led to more excessive behavior for me. My relationships with my family were very strained due to my extreme behavior. I was married, but instead of focusing on it, I acted out sexually which led to the destruction of my marriage. I felt a deep hatred for myself, and the guilt was overwhelming. This all led to me going into a deep depression in which I needed to be hospitalized and was then diagnosed.

According to leading scientists, most agree that there is no single cause for bipolar disorder, but instead it’s likely caused by many factors that contribute to the illness or increase our risks.

Some studies show how the brain of people with bipolar disorder may differ from the brains of healthy people or people with other mental disorders.

Other studies suggest that people with certain genes are more likely to develop bipolar disorder than others; however genes are not the only risk factor.

Bipolar disorder tends to run in families. Children with a parent or sibling who has bipolar disorder are much more likely to develop the illness, compared to children who do not have a family history. It is important to note that most people with a family history of bipolar disorder will not develop the illness.

There are multiple forms of treatments and therapies for bipolar disorder. Treatment helps many people—even those with the most severe forms of bipolar disorder gain better control of their mood swings and other symptoms. An effective treatment plan usually includes a combination of medications and psychotherapy. Bipolar is a lifelong illness. Episodes of mania and depression typically come back over time. Between episodes, many people with bipolar disorder are free of mood changes, but some people may have lingering symptoms. Long-term, continuous treatment helps to control these symptoms. (National Institute of Mental Health) Medications can help control symptoms of bipolar disorder. An individual may need to try several different medications before finding those that work best. Medications can sometimes include mood stabilizers, atypical antipsychotics, and antidepressants. It is important for people like me to make sure to follow the guidelines from my doctor and pharmacist to understand the benefits and risks of taking medications.

It’s important for people who suffer with bipolar disorder to find the right support group. I strongly believe in talking with others who can share and relate experiences with one another. Unfortunately, I’ve had some bad experiences. I was told many times by counselors to stop talking. I didn’t quite understand the rules of that particular group at the time and didn’t feel as if I was able to communicate properly with others because of it. Later on, after joining a women’s support group, I realized that I developed a complex because I was afraid to share what I was going through. I was afraid to engage with people because of the fear of being disliked or that they would feel I was talking too much. I didn’t feel like my words were worthy or important. It was a really hard time in my life, not being able to open up and share.

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I also had a hard time communicating with my family. We had

It is not something that a person chooses. It is like any other

gone through so much together, which didn’t help us communicate

illness that needs to be addressed through treatment. It can be helpful for people who suffer from bipolar disorder to make a

effectively. There had been many times where they would tell me

life chart so that they can keep track of their treatment, mood

to get to the point instead of explaining, or sometimes I would

changes, sleep patterns, and triggers. It will help your doctor

get frustrated and blow up because they wouldn’t listen. It was a

effectively find ways to help keep you stabilized.

terrible cycle of miscommunication and misunderstanding.

As for me, I’ve started a new beginning. I moved from the Bay Area to the Central Valley a year ago. I started a job where I live

People always need a good support system whether they suffer

while helping to take care of my grandmother. My therapist took

from a mental illness or not, but people like me need it even

me to visit a place called Clubhouse Visalia where I was met with

more. The best advice that I can give to people, in general, is to

hugs, smiles, acceptance, and understanding. Having spent time

learn about the illness. Read up on the symptoms and become

there, I no longer feel ashamed or embarrassed about having

aware of what people go through.

bipolar. It is not a bad part of me, but instead is just a part of me. Now that I have come to accept that, I can use my time taking care of myself, helping others when I can, and sharing my experiences with others so that they can release their shame as well. We don’t have to live a life of stigma with guilt and shame.

We can play a role in our treatment while helping others.

My new beginning includes leading the Meditation Class at Clubhouse Visalia and being part of a peer support group for people who suffer with bipolar. We will not only help each other maintain our wellbeing, but we will also help each other accomplish our goals. I now feel like I have a purpose for my life. I will be forever grateful for being a member of Clubhouse Visalia because they love unconditionally and provide a place where I can be free to be me. I hope that others will also find that for themselves.

Meditation Class meets every Saturday from 11-11:30 a.m.

See you there!

I was talking too much. I didn’t feel like my words were worthy or important. It was a really hard time in my life, not being able to open up and share.

Antonia Rose is a mother of 2 daughters and a Nana of 2 grandsons. She enjoys leading Meditation Group and helping out at Clubhouse Visalia during the week. Her favorite color is purple.

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