Brand You Magazine - The Feeling Good Issue

ISSUE 5

COVER WOMAN

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE Get real with Erika Cramer.

IMPROVE YOUR MOOD WITH FOOD.

Food that'll have you feeling good, inside and out.

Harness your happy.

Find your happy ever after.

PR without the ick.

Marketing yourself without being salesy..

FEELING

ISSUE

And loads more.

MELISSA MENDES

ALD DON MC RIZ

PETA DI PALMA

MONICA CALIGIURI

ERIKA CRAMER

AMY HART

JULIA FERRACANE

CA

RL

IE M

ARE

rachel kurzyp

E

"Everyday can be a better day despite the challenge, "All you got to do is leave it better than you found it "It's going to get difficult to stand but hold your balance....

"Feeling good, like I should."

SONG BY SURFACES

contents 06

The Queen of Confidence.

14

Improve your Mood with Food.

18

Get legally legit.

20

Taking the ick out of PR.

24

Controlling the what if.

27

Automation equals Freedom.

30

Soul Modes.

34

Get Good at Feelings.

36

Bee kind to you.

40

Make Money doing what you Love.

44

Harness your Happiness.

ERIKA CRAMER

MONICA CALIGIURI, NUTRITIONIST

RIZ MCDONALD, FOUNDD LEGAL

JULIA FERRACANE, RIGHTEOUS PR

COLUMNIST BECKY PAROZ

AMY HART, HART VS

CARLIE MAREE, AUTHOR

COLUMNIST KATHY RAST

MELISSA MENDES, BEE ONE OF KIND

RACHEL KURZYP, BIZ AND MARKETING COACH

PETA DI PALMA, HARNESS HAPPY

HOW ARE

you?

Feeling Good isn't just about feeling happy.

start to think something must be wrong.

The experience of feeling good in life (and

Rather than striving for the perfect “skipping

business) is not linear—feeling good as a

through the hills, Sound of Music” version of

state of being is an ongoing journey that

happy, how about we instead start to explore

changes day to day—and sometimes moment

what feeling good truly means to ourselves

to moment!—that is full of personal discovery

and our individual experiences.

and self-awareness that ultimately leads us to growth.

There is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach to discovering what makes us feel good, and

We (and the Instagram highlights reel) put so

lucky for us—this issue of Brand You is jam

much pressure on us to feel happy and if we

packed with some powerhosue women

don’t feel the way we think we ‘should’, we

sharing their unique and inspiring insights on

NEW COLUMNISTS KATHY RAST | Linguistiologist "My feelings have their own personalities and because I know them now, I really enjoy them popping in for a cuppa and a crossword. My low and sad feelings have grace and my overwhelm has a trickster personality. Respectively and respectingly we dance for as long as we need to find their purpose for knocking on my door today. Then, we choose our next steps as we part ways with a giggle and a wave that shows our heart covered sleeves." | PG 34

BECKY PAROZ | Speaker, Mentor, Author "If I am feeling down, I usually look for an opportunity to support assist someone with their own concern. This helps me feel better, as well as sharing some good will and good feeling around. Professionally, I usually try to find the root cause, and then apply some risk management processes to see what I can and can't control or change. I then take those actions. If I can't change it, I either let it go, or change the situation." | PG 24

what lights them up and excites their pulse for

model that doesn’t truly support the needs

life and business!

we deserve to have fulfilled to maintain that

If you are experiencing a lack of confidence or

feel good ‘I am winning at life!’ feeling. Self-

crippling self-doubt, try on courage for size.

care is not selfish. Hustle culture is OUT and

Erika, The Queen of Confidence explores what

self-care is IN. Nourishing your body, mind and

this means for her (and you) on page 6.

soul is often the answer to truly feeling good.

As you level-up, overwhelm can make it

After some tips? Monica tells us how food can

feel like you are drowning instead of climbing.

improve your mood with food on page 14 while

Focusing on clarity and sinking into calmness can

Peta guides us on how to harness our happy on

remove the stress and worry. On page 18, Riz talks about how legally covering yourself creates space for trust and stability in your business and on page 27 Amy talks all things automation and how systems can solve overwhelm.

Burnout is often a result of hustle and grind culture and can affect anyone. It’s an outdated

page 44.

Welcome to Issue Five, “The Feeling Good Issue” ROWENA PREDDY

FOUNDER | DESIGNER | EDITOR

THE QUEEN OF

CONFIDENCE

6

Introducing the Cardi B of the personal development world. Erika Cramer is a full-flavoured, spicy inspirational speaker, with a large dose of heart and humour. She is real, relatable and a confidence Queen!

What is your personal definition of confidence?

When I think about confidence, I think that it is having the ability to take action, even while you are shitting yourself! It is your inner belief of self. Even though you have no proof and you are not sure if you can do it, you still have a belief that you are able, that you are willing.

You are able to move through the discomfort until you achieve that end goal.

I believe confidence is a practice and I believe that confidence is also discomfort. It’s the practice of moving through discomfort.

Why does confidence sometimes feel like shit?

It always feels like shit! I believe that it always feels like shit because when we are creating confidence, we are putting ourselves out there. We’re doing things that are scary. We’re doing things that go against the grain.

We’re falling down publicly. We’re “failing”, even though I don’t believe in that word. We are going against what our family wants, what other people think about us. We are ‘in the arena’, as Brene Brown says, and none of that feels good. If we are willing to experience the emotions of shame, guilt, feeling stupid, messing up, falling over, being criticised, being humiliated - then confidence is available to us.

I know that none of those emotions feel fun, but that’s actually the reality.

When you go out there to create confidence, it feels terrible, it feels scary until it doesn’t, until you achieve your goal and your dream. And people only see the end result. They don’t see your journey to creating confidence and how horrible and hard that can really feel and be.

7

I DARE

YOU TO TURN YOURSELF

UP

Why is it important to name and claim our limiting self beliefs?

If you don’t know what’s holding you back, you don’t know how to change it, how to fix it, how to move forward. You need to get awareness on why you’re doing what you’re doing, on why you’re not showing up and creating confidence, on why you don’t have the life you want and on why you’re getting negative results that you’re not happy about. If you don’t have the awareness, you will never know how to change it.

Step one is finding out, what’s actually going on. Step two is discovering the undercurrent; the belief that tells you, you can’t, the belief that says you’re not good enough, the belief that says you’re not smart enough, pretty enough, have enough followers, et cetera. You have to find that or else you’re always going to have a story about why you can’t do something. You’re always going to have a comparison, a self sabotage, a procrastination or some other bullshit excuse as to why you can’t create the life you want. We need to know what we believe about ourselves if we’re going to create self confidence. What you believe about yourself and what you tell yourself and how you think about yourself dictates all of the results you create in your life.

YOU ARE

THE ONE THAT CREATES YOUR

LIFE

How important is having a sisterhood?

The importance of sisterhood, having women around you that are supporting you, holding you accountable and creating a space for you to feel safe and feel seen is something that I think we had all our lives as women. I think it’s just now in the modern world where we’ve lost that community, that connection, that tribe, that village. I don’t feel that having a sisterhood is something new. I feel like it’s something old and I feel that right now it’s more important than ever; after going through two I wan ted t years of a pandemic and literally some people felt se o create a c en, he being isolated alone in their homes moving ard, v ommunity wher where alidated, a nd un e women wome through one of the most horrible things that dersto n felt od safe I’ve personally experienced so far in my adult life. These past two years, seeing people struggle with mental health and seeing people be alone and move through things on their own, really has shown me, and has shown all of us, how important it is to have a supportive community around you.

Having women who hold space for me when I need to unravel, women who see me and validate me and understand what I’m going through and can hold me going through difficult things in my life is so important. I wanted to create a community where women felt seen, heard, validated, and understood where women felt safe, because that’s important to me - safe spaces.

Also, the narrative that women are catty and women aren’t great with each other, I think is a bunch of bullshit. I don’t know who made that up because I don’t see catty women. I see incredible women who love and connect and share and hold space. I think it’s important to have a community of women who can hold and support you and people that can guide you and want you to win. If you have a sister wound, it’s extremely important for you, especially if you don’t trust women or you’ve had issues with women in the past. That’s an area where you can definitely work on. Creating and being apart of an amazing community has completely changed my life and the life of my clients.

9

What do you do on the days you misplace your crown?

We can’t misplace our crowns because they are not external to us. We are the crown. You are a royalty. You are the queen of confidence. You are a goddess. What I think happens is that we forget.

There are moments where our self belief dies or our self belief takes a hit and we don’t remember our beauty, our importance, our worthiness.

When I have these moments, I know they are only moments.

I know that my moments don’t define me and I know that I’m not my thoughts, I’m not my actions. I know that I am so much more than the way I think about myself and my followers or the money in my bank account or my body or the titles and labels that society decides to give me. The moments where I feel I’m in a lack, I surrender and I trust that this too shall pass, and it gets me deeper into the work and it gets me deeper into myself and it gives me insights into what needs my attention.

YOUR PAIN IS

CALLING YOU TO

UP-LEVEL

Every horrible problem, challenge, pain point to me is an up level. Every single time I’ve gone through something difficult, and maybe you have too, I’ve realised that I’ve grown and I’ve become more resourceful, more resilient, more vigilant, more powerful, stronger, wiser, better for it.

10

What steps can we take to create confidence on the daily?

I see confidence as a practice and I've created a practice of confidence. It's called the Five Cs and it's five steps to help you step into your confidence no matter where you are. Whether you're someone who doesn't identify as confident, or someone who feels great in their confidence but maybe is lost and doesn't know what the next steps are. This practice of confidence takes you through the five steps. It's literally a step by step process that we found after researching confidence for over 10 years and understanding what the most confident people in the world do. They are constantly in the practice. They are making moves in this practice and they get up. They mess up, they get up, they do it again. They do it again.

CLICK HERE to read more about the 5C's on the blog

What is your confidence mantra?

I have a lot of these. My biggest mantra for confidence is that confidence is a practice, one you must commit to daily, hourly, sometimes even moment to moment. There is no final destination for confidence and no one is confident. They are merely in the practice.

A couple other fun things that I like to say is, “Fuck fake it, just make it”. What if the person stopping you was you? Hashtag FWOT, which stands for, ‘Fuck What Others Think’. Do you. Let people be wrong about you. I could go on and on. LOL.

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IMPROVE YOUR

MOOD with food When it comes to managing stress and anxiety, there are many factors at play.

One integral factor in regulating moods, is the food we eat. Nutrition plays an important part in managing stress by modulating neurotransmitters, balancing blood sugar and correcting nutritional deficiencies.

During stressful or sad times, eating foods that support the body can help make positive shifts in the way we feel and the energy we have. Here are my 5 tips to improving your mood with food.

14

TOP TIPS

1

Eat your fruit and vegetables!

Besides having essential vitamin and minerals, fruit and veg increase anti-oxidant levels in your body (anti-oxidants are the good guys that fight free radical damage) and are high in fibre which once ingested produce shortchain fatty acids known to alleviate stress.

Include Turmeric in your daily diet.

The active compound in Turmeric, Curcumin is a researched anti-inflammatory known to down regulate depression and anxiety.

4 5

2 3

Have regular meals to balance blood sugar levels.

Balanced blood sugar creates even energy which is conducive to a balanced mood.

Aim for 3 meals and two snacks daily.

When experiencing stress or anxiety, the body’s need for Magnesium increases.

Equally, low levels of Magnesium make us more susceptible to stress. That’s why it is essential we receive adequate levels of Magnesium to help stop this stress cycle. Eating Magnesium rich foods can help meet our daily mag quota while keeping stress levels at bay.

Magnesium rich foods include; cacao, leafy greens, almonds, almond butter, cashews, walnuts, brazil nuts, pecans, sea vegetables and pumpkin seeds.

Vitamin B6 is a well known ‘mood vitamin’.

Low levels of B6 are associated with panic attacks and anxiety. Great sources of B6 include chicken, tofu, beef, bananas, oats, sweet potatoes, avocados and pistachios.

15

FEEL

GOOD RECIPE

This pudding is made out of key nutrients to support mood. Cacao is high in magnesium to support the stress response, avocado is full of healthy fats that are great for brain health and gut repairing zinc is found in almonds.

Nutrition plays such an integral role in managing stress, anxiety and depression by fuelling neurotransmitters and regulating inflammation in the body. This healthy little pudding not only feeds your brain and body with all the right nourishment but, your tastebuds too!

CHOC ALMOND PUDDING INGREDIENTS

3 small avocados 1/3 cup maple syrup 1/2 cup oat cream

2 1/2 tbsp cacao 1/3 cup almond butter

INSTRUCTIONS

Mix all ingredients together in high speed blender until smooth and creamy.

Divide into bowls, serve with berries, silvered almonds, coconut yoghurt or topping of choice.

FREE MINI MOOD MEAL RECIPE EBOOK Improving mood with food means eating in a way that supports

feelings of wellbeing aka: eating sufficient anti-depressant nutrients and minimising anxiety-inducing foods. To help with this, I have put together 3 mood balancing meals in a mini recipe book for you!

These meals are easy to prepare and nourish your body and mind.

Click here to download for your free!

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GET

legally legit Over the years, I’ve had the good fortune to have met a number of female lawyers.

One in particular was a kickarse woman in a field that was dominated by men. She was a true inspiration to me, she essentially made me want to become a lawyer.

But it didn’t take long for me to realise I didn’t exactly fit the mould of what people expect a lawyer to be. So, I improvised. I started my own business, one that I knew would allow me to do what I loved best — help people.

18

Here’s what I’ve learned and embodied at Foundd, and what I hope people who are building their own business will keep in mind as they work to grow, scale and thrive!

Be proactive You can’t sit in the side-hustle mentality. You need to think ahead and not be afraid to invest in what you believe in. Creating a strong brand strategy, investing in systems and processes that can streamline your work (email automation, invoice tracking, social scheduling, etc.) and staying on top of your game with courses and networking opportunities can all help your business goals become reality and keep you focused on the work that you love (not the admin you kinda sorta hate). An intentional investment now will save you time, frustration, stress and larger expenses down the track.

Contracts, contracts, contracts Getting your legal ducks in a row is paramount! Website terms and conditions and privacy policies help to keep your customers and business safe. And properly written agreements that include clear boundaries around scope, timelines and payment schedules all help to keep you and your business protected and your intellectual property in the right hands.

Protect your brand name Lock in your trade mark and let go of the fear that another business might sneak up and try to steal your name, your genius or your creativity. While there is a small investment to secure your trade mark, it’s a heck of a lot better than having to go through the cost of a rebrand. When you’ve created a brand that you love, the idea that it could be taken from you is an absolute nightmare. Protect it!

I cannot stress enough the importance of integrating all of these things as you begin to grow your business. Yes, they’ll help you make your long-term goals far more achievable, but more than that, they’ll make you feel more at ease, more secure and more fulfilled as you work toward building a thriving business that truly is a part of you!

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founddlegal.com 19

taking the

ICK out of

pr The digital world has thrust PR into becoming an increasingly important part of the marketing mix as one of the main methods to raise a brands profile.

While this is great news for us PR pros who have skin in the game, it’s important for those working with us or considering working with us to make the realisation that it isn’t nearly as successful when a client has misunderstandings about how PR works.

Here is a list of some of the major misconceptions of PR that can drastically minimise the impact of a campaign:

20

SIX MISUNDERSTANDINGS ABOUT WHAT PR IS

By Julia Ferracane, Lead Rebel rouser at Righteous PR

1) PR is a Magic Wand For Your Business.

I wish I could say that I can come into your business like a beloved Disney character and magically wave a wand to get you the visibility you deserve. Any good PR professional knows that it doesn’t work that way. For the relationship to work, the client needs to actively collaborate with the PR professional and work as a team. Without input from the client, both proactive and reactive, the effort of earned and owned media placements may not go very far.

2) PR Success Will Happen Overnight.

PR results happen over time. The same way content marketing, SEO and social media communities take time to build - so too does PR. If a client believes that one press release or campaign is going go viral or generate thousands of leads and follows in one hit, then it may be time to let them approach another agency. The truth is that consistency is key to keeping the building of a brand alive. It’s so important to place your expectations on the table upfront so that you can understand what is achievable and what is not.

21

3) PR Wins Are Guaranteed.

Authentic ‘earned media’ should be the aim of PR but coverage is never guaranteed. Many misunderstand PR for advertising.

Unlike advertising where you pay for your ad to appear and know exactly when it will appear and what it will say - PR relies on journalists who everyday, are pulled in many different directions. It’s a PR pro’s job to open the door of opportunity for the client by presenting relevant, on trend stories to them, but what happens after that is somewhat out of our hands.

4) PR Pros Control What Journalists Publish— and When.

There are elements of PR that are out of a PR professionals’ control.

Sources can be cut as a story evolves, stories can be killed due to breaking news, and we have no control over what story quotes or elements make the final edit. This is why relationship and network building is essential. A PR Pro who understands the news cycle and how to serve up stories that are timely and have all the elements of a story that are easy for a journalist to execute are worth their weight in gold. But a client needs to understand that third party credibility does not come with control over the message.

22

5) There Is No Need To Share Your Research.

Journalists love adding data and statistics to a story to lend it more weight and credibility. If you are sitting on research or customer data you don’t think is important to mention, I’m here to tell you to please hand it over! Us PR professionals job is to serve up a full story arch to media, so if you have some interesting data that backs up a trend or an aspect of your claims or values? Don’t leave us in the dark. Be generous with your knowledge and let us decide if it’s useful or not.

It ensures your customers know who you are and what you stand for. It opens the doors for opportunity as media can consistently stay informed about your brand, services, thought leadership and products. All of this is greater amplified when a client understands the process and plays a role in being part of the action simply by including, sharing and being available when we need.

6) PR Doesn’t Need To Be In The Room.

There is nothing worse for a PR Pro than that feeling when you find out something your organisation or client is doing, but it’s too late to take full advantage of it from a PR perspective. A PR person needs to be in the room whenever you or your team is deciding when and how to pull the trigger on a new development.

Sometimes, to be the voice of reason and explain how it might backfire. But more often, to advise on how to get the most attention possible for the new venture. Sometimes it can mean the difference between receiving lukewarm exposure as opposed to widespread coverage. In short - Invite us in on your big ideas before you need us to execute them.

WANT TO BE A PR TEAM PLAYER? Drop Julia an email for a free PR Pow Wow call to get your big ideas seen, heard and felt by your ideal audience: julia@righteouspr.com.au

www.rightesouspr.com.au 23

COLUMN

Controlling the

what

By Becky Paroz | Speaker | Mentor | Author | Project Manager

When you are in control of your business, you

existed all along.

feel good. When something drastic happens

Risk management is one such tool that is frequently used in business, but rarely spoken of as a basic tool of practice. Risk management can be simple to use once you understand it. It can become your best friend for quickly assessing issues, before they escalate into overwhelm.

to our life, our business (or both when you are a solo operator) you can suddenly be in unchartered waters without a paddle, and experiencing the opposite of feeling good.

There are many tools out there and as business owners, we often find them by

the most helpful to running a business, and it

The basic premise of identifying a risk is to put into practical words the possibility of what could go wrong and measure the impact.

usually takes a problem to find solutions that

For those who like the technical language:

accident, by reference, or by happenstance.

We are rarely taught the skills that can be

24

COLUMN this might be a huge issue.

RISK MATRIX HIGH

If the car breaks down, you are pretty stuck for that commitment. You could start to panic, and maybe you have nightmares on this scenario days before the event!

HIGH

To measure the hazard and turn it into a risk, we need to be specific.

CONSEQUENCE

HIGH

MEDIUM

MEDIUM

MEDIUM

MEDIUM

MEDIUM

HIGH

HIGH

LIKELIHOOD

LOW

LOW

LOW

MEDIUM

MEDIUM

What is the Likelihood of the car breaking down the very day of your presentation?

Using F1, we can see that the Likelihood is Low. If you own a bit of a clunker, you might assess it as Medium. Remember, we are talking about the specific day, not just any old time, so it is unlikely that you would measure it as High.

The intersection of the Likelihood and Consequence gives the possibility of the event under discussion.

Now to the consequences. Do you have other means to get to your event? Can you ditch the product for the day, and travel by bus? Can you use any number of ride apps, including taxis, to attend the event and/or take less product? Do you have a friend who is also attending the event to collect you on the way?

HAZARD – any object, situation, or behaviour that has the potential to cause injury, ill health, or damage to property or the environment.

Each of these scenarios REDUCES the consequence of the outcome, so if you can answer yes to one of them, the Consequence is Medium. If you can answer yes to all, the answer is Low.

RISK - The possibility of suffering harm or loss.

RISK REDUCTION – the action taken to reduce the Likelihood, Consequence (or both) of a risk to minimise the possibility of the risk occurring.

If you intersect the two values (and we’ll use Medium for both), then you can see the risk is measured as Medium. By now, you should also be feeling good, because you have a tool to measure the issue, and can see that with some thought, it is not going to be a complete catastrophe.

The keywords that make the difference are potential, and possibility. For risks, we measure their possible likelihood of occurring, and the possible consequence if the hazard does in fact occur. A hazard is a general concern, a risk is stated as a specific concern.

In simple pictorial form, this looks like Figure 1 above. Let’s go through an example to show how this is used.

"It usually takes a problem to find solutions that existed all along."

A hazard could be that your car breaks down. If you rely heavily on your transport to attend, present at functions or transport your product for sales - you can immediately see

25

COLUMN If we add things like insurances, regular maintenance, or even just knowing the car works every other day of the week, you have a friend who can transport you, as well as a taxi backup, you may even see your way to reducing the measurements to give you a LOW outcome.

Measure it realistically, leaving emotion to one

Hopefully, this also reduces anxiety around this scenario, as you can now control the outcome. You have measured the issue, you have methods in place to reduce the outcome, and you can repeat this to the little voice that might still be saying “what if”.

What does the measurement look like now?

Using risk management principles such as identified above, you can start to control the “what if” because you have the answers.

“What if”… something happens?

Write it down.

Be specific about what might actually occur.

side for now.

Look at what the matrix tells you about the outcomes.

“What if”… you put some more actions in place to change that measured outcome?

This control process allows you to feel good about your plans, your day, your outcomes.

And when it comes to running your business, there is a great deal of satisfaction in that.

Becky Paroz is a professional mentor and writer with a history of engineering, construction, project management, and has dealt with some big life stuff like child abuse and a lifelong chronic illness.

Are you chasing

EXCELLENCE If excellence is the outcome you are chasing in your business and creative endeavours and you like to rebel against the boxes and containers you’re told to fit in, you are Becky Paroz's ideal client.

With 20 years experience in business with clients expanding worldwide, Becky is passionate about providing a broad range of services for women to succeed in male-dominated industries.

Her expertise range from project management, coaching programs, print and publication, presenting and podcasts and MORE.

Want to discuss how Becky can be part of your success journey?

Get in touch today.

wordsofbek.com.au

Automation EQUALS FREEDOM 27

Being organised and automating your business leaves room to live the life you love I’ve spent the last four years trying to build and design a life and business I absolutely love. In that time I’ve relocated, moved and upended my life too many times to count and automation has been the absolute key to me not giving it all up. As a soloprenuer (like a lot of us) and for someone who preaches outsourcing to my clients, I seriously struggle to do it in my own business.

Creating automations to handle the heavy lifting in my business like onboarding clients, payments and invoicing, data collection and scheduling has helped me maintain (mostly) that elusive work/life balance, whilst still being able to give my clients an experience I am proud of.

Automations handle the heavy lifting in my business.

What does automation even mean and how does it help?

Automation shouldn’t be a scary word and it does not mean you give up on personalising your client experience. If anything, it helps make it even more personal!

Automation means your can cover all the bases you need to with your client whilst barely lifting a finger (say goodbye to spending hours onboarding your clients!) and then helps you easily personalise for each client as needed. It doesn’t have to be a battle between full automation vs fully manual and my 28

3 Automation Tips

approach is designing a process that fosters both.

1) It's time to automate when:

Many of the manual processes in your business can be automated, leaving room to live the life you love. I’m someone who values flexibility and the ability to do things on the fly, so automation in my business has been a game changer and has given me countless opportunities to be able to change my plans as needed. I’m also content knowing my clients are being taken care of even better than if I was doing every. single. task manually and means I save time as well. Best of all, it has given me the flexibility to prioritise other aspects of my life like my relationship, time with family and friends and just enjoying the freedom of running my own business.

You feel like you’re drowning. BUT if you take proactive action and get automated before that point, you’ll be in a much better spot.

2) Mapping out your processes: Before you automate map out ALL of your processes in their entirety.

This will help you establish what you can and can’t automate and help you understand what’s involved.

3) Signs you're ready to automate: You don’t have any time and you are thinking about outsourcing some work, try implementing some automation first and getting your processes in order and it should free up some more time and put you in a better position for outsourcing!

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Perhaps previous partners have called you that. Or you’ve said it to yourself.

Maybe you’ve even been labelled as crazy, or something similar. Maybe you’ve even wondered if it’s true.

One day you want to do all the things. The next you want to do none of the things.

You want something, then you get it - yet you don’t feel how you wanted to feel. It can seem like there is no solid ground. You are not crazy.

That I know, for sure.

But you are quite possibly ‘all-over-the-place’. I know this because, well... we all are. And that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be. There is in fact, nothing at all wrong with us – the all-over-theplace women – and the emotional roller coaster is in fact much more predictable than it seems. The up, down, right and left always goes in a particular order.

Your rollercoaster might look something like this: Monday: Look at me go. I’m nailing it as a mother. Love my hubby. Washed my hair. Loving

You are not one ordinary woman.

You are four extraordinary ones.

B Y CARLIE MAR EE

myself in these jeans. Catching up with a friend for lunch.

Tuesday: Urgh. The clutter in this house is unbearable. The linen closet needs a clean out. $200 of new clothes purchased

Women are complex creatures, right? We are not the same every day. We can be up and down. We can be hard and soft. We can be this way and that. Have you ever felt like you’re an emotional rollercoaster?

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online. God, I wish the kids would stop their whining.

Wednesday: Tired. Just tired. I need break from social media.

It’s okay to wear stretchy pants to school pick up, yeah? Uber Eats for dinner.

Thursday: Routine, that’s what we need! Big food shop done, with a list, and all the meals planned out for the fortnight. In activewear, 5k walk while listening to a podcast. Decide that from today forth I will get up at 5am daily to do yoga.

Friday: Skip yoga. Snuggle kids instead. They are only little for such a short time. Dance while washing dishes. Send text to hubby just to say, ‘I love you’. Get a pedicure, just because.

Saturday: I need the $200 boots to go with the outfit I bought, obviously. Whole wardrobe cleanout is in order. Half the kid’s toys are going too. Change all the beds. Seriously, must

experiencing There are four distinct mindsets, or ‘modes’, that we move through. If you read back through the above example you might spot them. As you start to track how your own rollercoaster plays out, you’ll spot them there too.

Each of these four modes exist for a reason.

We all experience each of them, in a repeating pattern. We are all experiencing the same rollercoaster. We are all moving through the same set of four modes, always in the same order. We all have four different sets of strengths and weaknesses. We all have four different cups to be filled. We all have four different women inside of us.I’ve given each of them a nickname, to help tell them apart.

he chew that loudly?

There’s a wild woman, a hibernating bear, a superhuman and a sparkly fairy.

Sunday: Chill day. God, I haven’t read an actual

All of them are within you.

book in forever. All I want to do is read. Tea. Soup. Can I just sit in peace for one minute

All of them ARE you.

without somebody asking me for something?

All of them exist FOR you.

Sound familiar? Any or all of this is really normal.

All of them want what’s best for you.

It might seem like you are all-over-the place,

But each of them has a different approach.

They each feel different, which is why, as per the

but there is a distinct pattern to what you’re

31

example above, one day you might set yourself a new daily routine, and before you know it the routine is completely forgotten. A different part of you has taken the reins, and that new part has a different focus.

It can feel like inconsistency. You wonder in frustration ‘Why can’t I ever stick to anything?!’ But there IS consistency there.

The pattern is very consistent. In fact, you might find that what seems like a random rollercoaster of emotions, is in fact a sophisticated, intricate, built-in, life calibration system. Throughout my research into this pattern, I have come to understand these four distinct energetic states – or modes – that we move through.

When your inner wild woman is driving you, you’re in wild mode. She wants something and she will drive you to get it. When your hibernating bear takes over, you’re in bear mode. She wants something different.

When your superhuman hops in the driver’s seat, you’re in super mode. Her desires are different again. And when the it’s your sparkly fairy’s turn, you’re in sparkle mode. She has a whole other plan.

The four Soul Modes are; Wild mode. Bear mode. Super mode. Sparkle mode.

These modes are the roadmap to that emotional - or perhaps it’s more accurate to say, motivational - rollercoaster we’re all on.

Each mode comes with a new set of needs, a different set of yearnings. We want different things on different days, and this is why. Each mode has a different job to do, and as a result we feel different in each.

ALL OF THEM ARE WITHIN YOU.

all of them are you 32

In wild mode we tend to crave change.

We have no tolerance for things in our life that are not working well. It’s when we can easily identify ways to improve our lives.

To remove clutter – not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.

click

HERE TO GET IT

now

In bear mode we tend to crave quiet, peace,

commit to things, then I am very glad to tell

rest. We can be a bit spaced out and our

you that it’s most likely not the case at all.

energy can dip. It’s when we tend to find ourselves thinking about our values, our big picture, what really matters in our life. It’s a time for healing and self-awareness.

In super mode we love taking action, creating tangible results. We can find ourselves writing lists and creating schedules. We get a little burst of motivation and love starting new projects.

In sparkle mode it’s all about connection.

We find it easier to be present and to feel gratitude. Many of us feel our most feminine and nurturing in this mode.

Our soul modes are what make us wellrounded, balanced humans. Our soul modes are also what drive us forward. Together

Your ‘soul cycle’ is a consistent rhythm which is happening whether you are noticing it or not – kind of like your heartbeat. It is something you can tune into at any time. It’s something to help you practice self-care at any time. It’s something you can use to get your bearings - your anchor to your true self when you feel disconnected.

Throughout the Soul Modes book, you will learn how to track your own soul cycle, how to get to know each of your inner women and how to use this knowledge to create new levels of happiness, productivity and contentment in your life.

Text from Soul Modes by Carlie Maree

they form an ongoing cycle, and this cycle is our in-built system for personal growth. But of course, when we don’t know something is there, we can’t tap in and make the best use of it. It can be very easy to mistake this natural rhythm for something else, like inconsistency, flakiness or an inability to

Carlie Maree is an international best-selling author, thought leader and industry disruptor with a deep understanding of how women work – what motivates them, what drives them and what holds them back.

commit to things. If you have ever believed

www.carliemaree.com

that you are flaky, inconsistent or unable to

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COLUMN

GET GOOD

at feeling As Pondered By Kathy Rast | Linguistiologist | Story Seamstress

When you hear 'feeling good' do you go looking for that last good feeling?

to share with them?'. Looking blankly at this chaotic scene and wonder, 'Was it even good? Did I imagine it?'.

What if I were to say feeling good is not about feeling good feelings at all? What if I were to say it's about the ability to feel that makes it a good quality in our businesses?

The answer is yes.

For twits and biggles, let's say you imagined it. What did you imagine? The feeling? What happened? That it was good? Looking at the war zone, I mean house, it makes sense the world needed a counterbalance. In the words of Bridget Jones, 'It's a truth universally acknowledged that when one part of your life starts going okay, another falls spectacularly to pieces.' Bridget was right in many things, like not using blue string in soup, however, this was not one of them. Remember, she

When did you last feel good in your business?

Let's say you had a good day at work and then come home (which may be a closeddoor away) only to find the house is amidst a shit storm. All of a sudden, that feeling soaks away like water into a sponge of reality. The feeling fades to black, like a dream being already forgotten, and you're now thinking to yourself, 'Wasn't there something I wanted

34

COLUMN

"The key to feeling good, or otherwise, is first being solid in feeling." you know what a feeling is when it's not good. We're only lightly unpacking for a layover here, so we tread softly in these fields of a ponder, barely dipping in deep enough to leave footprints.

Let's take these assumptions and feeling good to see how they become something more with a flick of the wrist and a tilt to the left to see what lays under the staircase of feeling good.

Let's step together, shall we?

mistakingly saw the sincere love of a beautiful woman as competition. How wrong was she?!

So, could we too be wrong? Is it possible to feel good in our business, our homes, and ourselves at the same time? If you answered yes, what do you need to make it happen?

First, take feeling good and flip it to good feeling. We still have that same feeling.

Now, let's give it a tickle from underneath and see it become 'good at feeling'.

With this small change, our spotlight now assumes we're skilled at feeling.

Before we proceed, I'll let you in on what we're up to here. We're about to see feeling good in a way you can't unsee. So, I warn you, the following is for those that love to experience that tickle of feeling something totally new—for once you know it, it cannot be as it was. Trust me, it's a good feeling. You've been warned (and encouraged).

What feeling?

Ahhhhhhh, that's where we were going. The key to feeling good, or otherwise, is first being solid in feeling. How you dance and name your feelings after that is up to you.

Personally, mine have names like Tuesday, purple, and itchy.

Are you asking, 'How feeling good could be so different?' Surely, you've stumbled on all the ways it can be by now?

As many here have shared their experiences and tips, the key to achieving the gold they’re serving up to you is to first know that you are comfortable at feeling. For it is only then can you feel the full range of good, for even the absence of good is still good.

Feeling good has obvious assumptions written in invisible ink. They're so obvious that they're rarely spoken. Yet, when I say them, as we will soon enough, we make feeling good mean more than what feels good. Feeling good has three main assumptions to make it true.

Kathy Rast is a Linguistiologist. She works with businesses to take what they have and what they naturally do and show them ways to leverage what comes easy to them.

First, you feel and know when you're feeling.

Second, you know what good means. Lastly,

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SELF CARE TIPS WITH MELISSA MENDES

BEE FOUNDER OF BEE ONE OF A KIND

KIND to you 36

First and foremost, I would like to first acknowledge, that motherhood is precisely like a computer, 1000 tabs open and never knowing where the music is coming from! Ha! Finding time to slow down, to prioritise our own health, mentally, physically and emotionally is safe to say, one of motherhood’s greatest struggles. However, being a mother is one of the greatest reasons why we need self-care. I feel the term ‘self-care’ can often raise some debate.

When Most women think of the term ‘self-care’ they automatically think of massages, facials and manicures. But it means so much more than that. Don’t get me wrong, these pampering sessions bring an exhilarating feeling of replenishment and ‘feel good’, but for me, and the main reason behind bee one of a kind, is to offer something more. A deeper level of awareness and acknowledgment.

I will be completely honest and say that I have personally struggled with self-care. I’m someone who is easily distracted, feels the need to comply with ‘to-do’ lists and will find every excuse under the sun to simply ‘keep still’. Growing up with the mentality ‘busy is productive’ and that doing nothing is for the lazy. But boy, has my health taken a hit from that limiting belief system! I have unfortunately had to learn the hard way that health is something I have often taken for granted. Wellness for me, was always ‘doing’. If I wasn’t doing, or creating, or cleaning, or fixing - I felt I was not being ‘productive’. The last few years have taught me that I was devastatingly wrong.

So, I would like to take this opportunity to share with you 3 tips for self-care. There are the methods that I personally incorporate into my daily life, which assist me in prioritising my wellbeing.

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Firstly, I cannot live nor function without my Ease Magnesium oil. This bottle of magic provides a natural remedy for all sorts of ailments. Number one, PMS. Yes, even in my 40’s, I suffer from premenstrual issues on a monthly basis, primarily tender breasts during ovulation, bloating, fluid retention, restless legs and the general aches and pains.

After my morning shower, I like to apply the spray all over, focussing on my stomach and breasts. I like to perform a self-massage and take a few moments to just notice how my body feels. Where am I feeling tension today? How is my digestion? This morning ritual gives me the opportunity to simply be aware of my body, without criticism, without complaint, just pure awareness.

gentle way to wash my face, without the use

Secondly, my skincare routine. I begin with my geisha glow cleansing grains. A purely

practice messages of self-love and kindness.

of harsh soap or foamy cleansers which often strip my skin of sebum and natural oils. This cleanser is my go-to for daily use, or I opt to use it as a weekly nourishing and replenishing face masque. The oh so velvety soft rice flour and colloidal oats help to gently exfoliate my skin, removing dead skin cells and help with cell rejuvenation. I love the addition of the French green clay, which aids in removing toxins and impurities. I like to spend a solid 60 seconds using circular motions to cleanse my face, focusing on problematic areas, such as my T-zone. One minute doesn’t really sound like much, but you would be amazed how many self-love affirmations you can proclaim in this time. Taking deep breaths as I I then follow up with my favourite serum for

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home spa experience. During this time, I light a candle, burn my favourite Balinese incense, and play my Calm app for meditation. It truly does not take much to be transported to a world of pure tranquillity, whereby all the world slows down for just a few moments, and you permit yourself to truly focus on yourself.

Self-care is not selfish. It should not be regarded as a ‘luxury’, rather a necessity, for without it, we simply do not have the capacity to care for others. When we are at exhaustion point, we are of no benefit or service to ourselves, or our loved one. We become short tempered, irritable, irrational, bitter, fuelled with anger and frustration and often, those around us, who we love the most, suffer for it. Self-care is the greatest gift we can give ourselves and it can simply involve taking a few moments to just be present. My advice and pledge, from one woman to another, is to take time to slow down. Nourish and nurture your inner Queen Bee. She is a warrior, an irreplaceable being, worthy of love and care. How you treat yourself, is leading the example of how you

morning use, the Awakening boosting face serum, which perks up my often dehydrated looking skin. Just a few drops can do wonders to awaken dull/tired skin and I like to warm up the serum in my hands and breathe in the beautiful sensual essential oils of sweet orange (uplifting and anxiety relieving), cedarwood and rosemary (good for circulation and mood enhancement).

wish others to treat you. So, honour Her.

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My final self-care tip is making time for a weekly bath. Twenty minutes is all you need to allow yourself some ‘down time’ and soak away tension and irritability. I alternate between the calm and clarity blends, depending on my needs. My personal favourite, however, is the Calm blend. Beautiful botanicals of lavender and chamomile and sweet scent of sweet orange and cinnamon, provide a warming, indulgent

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MAKE

MONEY DOING WHAT YOU

love WRITTEN BY RACHEL KURZYP

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How to Create an Aligned and Profitable Business (That you Feel Amazing Working In) Can you make money doing what you love? The answer is hell yes! And the best bit, you don’t need to compromise your values or ignore your way of being to have a thriving business.

with your dream clients and growing your income), you may be out of alignment. You don’t need to be more, do more or have more to experience the warm feeling of success that you’re craving in your business. You already have the answers; you need to listen to what your inner voice tells you.

The past two years have given us the space to examine how we want to show up, serve and sell in our businesses. I know I can’t be the only one who has used this time to reimagine having a business that centres around joy, creativity, and connection.

Like with anything worth doing, this work may feel a little stretchy. So to help you through this process, here are three soul-searching questions I asked myself. The answers have allowed me to create an aligned and profitable business that I love working in.

If you’ve tried, tested, and tweaked over the past few months but still feel some resistance (even if you’re working

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What do you really want from your business?

What’s holding you back from going after what you want?

Do you want to work with dream clients who inspire you to hone your craft and create your best work? Or do you want the financial freedom to take an afternoon nap and say no to a nightmare client guilt-free? There is no ‘right’ answer, only the right answer for you. Once you accept what’s driving you, it’s easier to plan ahead, call in the clients, create sell-out offers and claim your expertise.

Your business should represent your values, vision, and beliefs, providing you with a sense of purpose and strength.

If you’re telling yourself, “I’m not ready,” it may be because you need to work through past trauma, are unsure of where to invest in your business or need more information to make an informed decision. Determine what support you need so you can act with confidence and clarity.

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take the

QUIZ CLICK HERE

Will my business make the world a better place?

Most of us want to be seen and heard so we can use our business to positively impact the lives of our family, clients, and community. Identify the cause you want to advocate for and how you want to contribute – money, time, allyship or awareness.

Then take small, considered actions each day to support this work.

Remember: The most profitable business is the one that supports your unique skill sets, experience, and knowledge. And you have the power to redefine what that looks and feels like for you.

Grow your business based on your plant persona quiz Can you command a room like a Monstera Deliciosa? Or bring people together like a Peace Lily?

In just two minutes, this quiz will reveal your plant persona so you can grow a thriving business that supports your multi-passionate lifestyle.

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happiness HARNESS YOUR

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It’s the age-old desire and ultimate goal in life to be happy. So much so that happiness was searched more than ever on Google in 2020 and 2021. This pandemic has highlighted the significance of our mental health struggles, raising the question, “Why is there chronic modernday unhappiness?”

Happiness is theoretically a simple concept. It was something most of us felt freely as a child. Yet as we age, it becomes more and more elusive with each passing year. So, why is it so hard for us (as adults) to reach?

Could it be that we are so preoccupied with being “busy” we have lost touch with our true heart’s desire? With greater responsibilities, greater comparisons (social media), busier schedules, heavier workloads, increased stress and overwhelm, disconnected relationships and isolation (not just COVID related), it slips further and further away from us.

Living Groundhog Day has numbed our sensitivities and sense of self.

What we also often fail to appreciate is that decades of unmet needs, unresolved childhood trauma, rejection and abandonment, and toxic positivity are underpinning the very cause of our misery.

We ignore the constant stream of dysfunctional, or risk-taking behavioural patterns, such as drinking, drug taking, gambling, binge eating, etc and brush them aside with little more than a cursory glance. The focus on external gratification masquerades as a Band-Aid, while the true wound festers beneath.

BY PETA DI PALMA 45

I have been there. I know what it is like to constantly push my feelings aside, and search for meaning and fulfillment in all the wrong places. Like the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, happiness was always just out of reach. The goalpost constantly shifted with each new mantra of, ‘It’ll be okay when…’, ‘I’ll feel better after …’, or, ‘Everything will be fine once …’.

Eventually, we become so dissatisfied with life we have no choice but to face our demons.

Either by choice or, in my case, by force. By this stage, we’ve more than likely paid a heavy price. Failed marriages, missed career opportunities and promotions, addiction, fractured friendships. You name it - we’ve been through it. After years seeking answers in all the wrong places, one day we “suddenly” realise that we’re unhappy and unfulfilled.

If we’re completely honest with each other, none of us want to live like this!

To experience a modicum of happiness is not an unreasonable expectation.

But it is unreasonable to feel euphoric or happy all the time, particularly when toxic positivity is so rampant in society.

From birth, we’re told as young children not to cry, or to “look on the bright side”, or “It could be worse.” We’ve been hearing messages like this all our lives.

Toxic positivity is extremely harmful to the well-being of children. It not only prevents building true resilience,

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courage FINDING

HAPPINESS TAKES

because through toxic positivity we are taught that it’s not OK to experience unpleasant emotions or circumstances, let alone to have a mental illness that causes difficulties with depression or anxiety.

stacking up and happiness continues to be

Rather than providing effective strategies to manage stress and improve coping techniques, toxic positivity yields shame.

This belief is often carried through into adulthood where feelings of inadequacy send us down a rabbit warren of consuming 'hustle culture' content, attending seminars based on self-improvement and personal growth; chasing the happiness that eludes you. When we can’t live up to the expectations meted out by these gurus, it often makes us feel worse.

one word that sums up how to become

out of reach. I know I wanted to feel some level of happiness, which is why I decided to shift my focus from looking ahead or looking behind, to instead - looking within. If there’s happy, it’s courage. Courage to face our trauma. Courage to face our fears. Courage to face our pain. Courage to heal. Courage to cry. Courage to abandon toxic positivity.

Finding happiness takes courage.

It’s okay, not to be okay! I’d like you to ponder this question, “What courage do you need to embrace to find happiness?”

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Social media and reality television shows such as Selling Sunset, have propelled this myth. Their messages often resonate because they promise things most of us want — wealth, success, happiness, and the ability to manifest our dreams.

But toxic positivity, whether from a life coach, an influencer, a self-help author, or your parents, is full of blind spots and unrealistic extremes.

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It’s no wonder we’re all feeling like we’re not

47

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