Her Voice - Winter 2018

By Women. For Women. About Women.

A Brainerd Dispatch Publication

Julie Kemper Finding Her Native Roots

Winter 2018

PLUS!

+ Holiday

Holistic Health

+ Fueling Your

Giving Spirit

+ Essentia’s Jill Billman

Proud to call this place home.

LIKE NOWHERE ELSE We’re proud to live here — and so are some of the most brilliant medical minds in the world. From health screenings and physicals to care plans and treatments, Essentia Health provides expert, personalized care for the people of this area.

Schedule an appointment online at EssentiaHealth.org or call 218-828-7100.

OUR VOICE

HER VOICE By women. For women.

About women.

MAGAZINE STAFF PUBLISHER

Pete Mohs ADVERTISING DIRECTOR

Susie Alters Eller

CONTENT COORDINATOR

Sarah Herron COPY EDITOR

DeLynn Howard DESIGN & LAYOUT

Wishing you all a happy holiday season and joyous new year!

Lisa Henry

PHOTOGRAPHER

Joey Halvorson

- Lisa Henry, DeLynn Howard and Sarah Herron Next Issue of Her Voice: Spring

BY LISA HENRY ‘Tis the season for family and friends, gift giving, holiday joy, making goodies and sharing memories.

I LOVE making Christmas cookies with my three girls. We make a couple different kinds, but our favorite are the candy cane cookies. Though we have fun rolling, coloring and twisting, they never seem to turn out quite as expected. Maybe this year we’ll try something a little less finicky like the no-bake recipes on page 12 and leave the candy canes to ornaments (see page 42 for a cute DIY candy cane project).

Often times, grandmas are the glue that holds the holiday season together.

And they make the best cookies. Just ask Sue Sterling who talks about her grandmother’s cookie skills on page 36.

Also look for grandma photos submitted by our Facebook friends (page 38).

Speaking of grandmas, I am proud to say my children’s grandma Julie Kemper is on our cover! Jodie Tweed wrote about my mom finding her native roots and her biological family through DNA — talk about a holiday gift!

New to this issue is lifestyle columnist Cynthia Ransom featuring her nine ways to handle holiday stress naturally. Ransom will be writing for Her Voice throughout 2019 about holistic health with a different focus each edition.

We’re very excited about this first article and can’t wait to see more.

All in all, I’m happy to say we’ve managed to pack all the season has to offer into this winter edition

You can also find Her Voice Magazine in over 100 Discover Rack locations in the area or read it online at:

www.BrainerdDispatch.com

(Magazine Rack Tab)

Advertising: (218) 855-5895 Advertising@BrainerdDispatch.com Comments/story ideas:

(218) 855-5821

Sarah.Herron@BrainerdDispatch.com Mail: ATTN: Her Voice Brainerd Dispatch, P.O. Box 974, Brainerd, MN 56401 Quarterly publication of the Brainerd Dispatch. Printed by Forum Communications. copyright© 2003 VOLUME 15, EDITION 4 WINTER 2018

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CONTENTS Winter 2018

Your Voice Grandmas

12

38

Her Career Cubby The Therapist’s Dog

Her Table

6

No-Bake Goodies

By Carolyn Corbett

By Puttin’ on The Mitts

Women in Business

24

Submitted

A2Z Yarn Shop

40

By Mary Aalgaard

Her Family Grandma’s Auction

9

By Jan Kurtz

More Than Memories

36

Sue Sterling

Her Health Nine Natural Ways To Deal With Stress 34

By Cynthia Ransom

42 For Her

Her Passion Fueling Your Giving Spirit 19

Knit Candy Cane DIY 42

By Linda Hurst

Her Family

30

Native Roots

By Jodie Tweed Julie Kemper finally finds answers to her native identity with some uncanny details through DNA testing and a life-long search.

By Lisa Henry

Her Health

15

Good Grief

By Sarah Nelson Katzenberger Four women share their miscarriage stories and how they were able to heal through facing their grief.

Her Career

Her Passion 26

22 Work Hard and Be Nice

Paige Bueckers

By Suz Anne Wipperling Jill Billman, patient access supervisor at Essentia Health, shares her work philosophy that keeps her balanced.

By Carol Miller 16-year-old basketball player Paige Bueckers has already achieved more than most and is giving back to her community.

4 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

CROW WING COUNTY

ALL VETERANS MEMORIAL BRAINERD, MN

DonorBrick PROGRAM FUNDRAISER

326 LAUREL STREET, BRAINERD, MN

Go online to www.brickmarkersusa.com/donors/avm.html and Facebook: Crow Wing County All Veterans Memorial 4x8 brick $75/brick - 3 lines per brick- 20 letters per line 8x8 brick $150/brick - 6 lines per brick - 20 letters per line (larger sizes are available, please call for information) In addition to each installed brick, you will receive a commemorative certificate.

For more information: Please contact Nancy Cross 218-829-9079 email:crossnancy99@gmail.com

HER CAREER + therapy

Cubby The Therapist’s Dog

PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON

BY CAROLYN CORBETT

Independent clinical social worker Laurie Boser brings mental health therapy to people residing in nursing homes and in assisted living facilities.

Cubby, a beautiful, 5-yearold purebred Samoyed is her partner. They are an unusual team. Not many therapists make trips to their clients; clients typically make the trip to their therapists. In her travels, Laurie has rarely encountered mental health professionals who make “house calls” and practice animal-assisted therapy.

Laurie Boser with her dog Cubby, a 5-year-old purebred Samoyed.

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“It’s all about relationships,” says Laurie - the relationships between Laurie and Cubby, between Laurie and the client, between Cubby and the client.

Laurie’s social work career originated in 1984 and she began offering in-home therapy 10 years later. In 2009, she began utilizing canine-assisted therapy in partnership with Cubby’s predecessor, Casper. Today she utilizes that method of therapy exclusively. Cubby is a certified therapy dog and is also trained to work with Laurie in her clinical practice.

“It’s all about relationships,” says Laurie - the relationships between Laurie and Cubby, between Laurie and the client, between Cubby and the client. Cubby is a bridge builder, a memory maker, an ally in the room.

He needs to adapt to every different facility and to each person’s space.

He must be able to deal with clients’ issues: anxiety, anger, whatever other emotions come up during the hour-long appointments. He is curious about crises, not afraid. Laurie talks of how he changes the air, the

He is the epitome of nonjudgmental, unconditional acceptance. feeling in a room. He is the epitome of nonjudgmental, unconditional acceptance.

As a canine-assisted therapy dog, Cubby helps with storytelling and reminiscing therapies. There is a feeling of calmness when he is present. For those dealing with anxiety or

Laurie Boser (top, center) with her dog Cubby, and Edgewood employees (clockwise) Doreen Sellnow, Ashley Kvistad, Kelly Rasinski, Katie Moe, Ade Hne and Ender Miles.

trauma, he is a comforting reminder danger is no longer present. Clients find petting him and just having him near helps to reduce their anxiety.

He also brings up warm memories of pet ownership and provides a catalyst for those working through the grief over loss of pets due to death or moving to a facility where they are not allowed. “It’s about knowing the dog’s strengths and weaknesses and

how those may impact the therapy,” Laurie said.

The environment is a huge thing for the resident, the dog and Laurie herself. Cubby lives his work life in a world of wheels – wheelchairs and walkers. One of the clients Laurie worked with helped train Cubby how to walk correctly next to a wheelchair. In all aspects of the time spent together, Laurie’s responsibility is

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 7

Cubby in his holiday attire ready for visits.

to pay attention to both the person and the dog. She has to be aware of the person’s needs and the dog’s needs. This requires adaptability and the willingness to go with whatever happens.

Laurie and Cubby presently do much of their work at Edgewood Vista-Baxter and Edgewood VistaBrainerd, as well as Bethany and Woodland Good Samaritan Homes in Brainerd, though the work has also taken them to Little Falls, Crosby, Crosslake, Aitkin and Pierz, among others. As well as working regularly with their specific clients, the pair also sit and visit with many others along the way – residents and staff. Cubby gets involved in nursing home parties, pet shows and sing-a-longs. He even delivers Christmas gifts for Be a Santa to a Senior.

Laurie often uses Cubby to encourage residents to leave their rooms. He creates a kind of energetic buzz that draws people toward him

and buffers anxiety. When the dog is around all kinds of people come over to socialize. Cubby’s presence helps some clients feel more comfortable being in group settings. All kinds of people come together because of him.

Laurie is known as “that lady with the big white dog.” On days when Cubby stays home because it is too hot for him or so rainy he would be too wet to pet, Laurie is often asked where he is. The residents and staff who have grown used to seeing him in the hallways or at social functions miss him. Laurie has even been asked why she even comes there without him! Ah, the therapist’s dog.

Carolyn Corbett has written more than 250 magazine articles for various national and regional publications over the years. She lives in Brainerd with Bryn, her furry mentor of meditation and mindfulness. Bryn takes her job seriously, encouraging Carolyn to practice self-care by taking regular breaks from writing to pass out Whisker Lickin’s and purr the cat.

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HER STORY

+ grandma

Jan Kurtz’s grandma Nellie Kurtz at her cottage-style ‘uptown’ house.

Grandma’s

Auction

BY JAN KURTZ

I can still see her on the front stoop of her white cottage home with its red shuttered windows and matching red roof. Nellie sits in the shade of the Colonial arch with its cut-crystal door, the one she requested of my grandfather Floyd, when he built the ‘uptown’ house.

Jan Kurtz (center) with her grandma Nellie Kurtz, and brother, Steven. Their mother, Phyllis, to the right.

After our four-hour drive to Grandma’s, my brother, Steven, and I would burst out of the car and scamper up the steps into her waiting embrace. She’d throw her floppy arms around us, squeezing us into her ample bosom kept tied in place with a full body apron. She’d hoist her plump body up and lead us into the house and her world.

Inside the entry, a bust of a child gazing into an open book sat thoughtfully on its pedestal. By the window, behind a worn armchair with lace doilies, two large framed prints looked into the room. The first, Hours of Sunshine, showed two delighted children romping through a field of flowers. The second, Sweet Charity, had a pretty woman dressed in a long pink

coat, trimmed with fur, knocking on a door. They greeted us from a past century.

The bright red and blue oriental living room rug ended at the dining room.

There, items from the family past were already turning into antiques. The stereopticon lay with a stack of double picture cards from the 1893 World’s Fair on top the dough tray. Two of the cane rocking chairs were her grandmother’s.

An ornate pump organ, purchased at one of her many auction sale forays, stood under her 1912 wedding portrait. Sometimes she’d take a moment, rearrange her cotton house dress around the sides of the red-velvet stool, pull out the stops and fill the room with ‘Rock of Ages’ or ‘the Old Rugged Cross’.

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 9

Hours of Sunshine.

Grandma Nellie’s posessions ready for auction.

When the grown-ups began to cluster, Grandma would take us by the hand and lead us toward THE closet.

To reach it, one had to pass the corner curio cabinet. Its shelves were overfull with crystalline salt cellars, a small flock of white and blue glass chickens roosting on their nests and a collection of ceramic and blown glass toothpick holders. They rattled when she opened the door, but did not break.

She carefully removed her treasures and explained their uses when placing them into our little nervous hands.

When the cabinet door shut, The Closet door opened. The Closet. A treasure trove of toys, scrapbooks of penny postcards, news clippings, snippets of our collective past. My dad’s toddler train engine scooter, boxes of tin soldiers from who knows which war, little model T shaped metal banks and dolls with droopy eyelids flowed unto the floor.

Sweet Charity

My stomach knotted. I panicked. Again, my hand was in the air, fighting to keep a few more things.

Next came the tintypes. Her finger traced faces of people with birthdays from the 1800’s. My great-grandpa Stephen Kurtz, from the Civil War, received a land grant to build here in Illinois. These two were Bill and Rebecca Bottorf, her parents, standing by their house, just down the road.

And here, a photo of thirty some kids in front of a one room school house with their schoolmarm, my Auntie Wilma. Grandma had her school bell.

Did I want to ring it?

Each trip, I revisited the dry sink, tramp art, hurricane lamps, handhewn furniture, porcelain thunder mugs and pickle crocks. She let me jingle the sleigh bells. By the time I was in middle school, she began pausing during the tour to ask what I might like to have when. . . she didn’t finish the sentence, but I knew. She put people’s names on things or simply gave them away.

I was fifteen when the news arrived that she had cancer. That August, I held her hand at the nursing home.

By November, 1968, she had died.

The next spring, Grandpa was gone, too. The house and all their earthly goods went to my Auntie Wilma.

Auntie continued to frequent auctions until her death in 1993, when my father and mother landed the job of cleaning and sorting.

It was a grueling month. Wilma

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had not repaired the house and its contents after the furnace malfunctioned, burping black soot on everything. Without indoor plumbing, all water was pumped and heated for the clean-up. I arrived a few days before the auction that was billed, ‘Best Collection of Antiques this Season’.

That day, I slowly ascended the cement steps, passing her now empty spot, and entered through the Colonial door to behold a foreign room. Mountains of boxes climbed the bare walls. Rockers sat in rows.

Pirate mugs huddled on cluttered table tops. Dresser drawers sorted cameo brooches from gaudy rings.

Outlines of mirrors and magazine racks faded into the wallpaper. The crystal chandelier no longer hung above the solid oak dining table. I was invited to choose some mementos. I wanted it all . . . to stay there and be as it had been!

A moving van stripped every item and hauled it to the auction site. I wandered through the hall, filled with my ‘could-have-been’ heirlooms. The horsehair couch. The spindle bed.

The print of Sweet Charity. Soon strangers would be staring at her.

They poured in. The gavel dropped.

The auctioneer’s voice rose and fell.

First, the ‘trinkets’, then the treasures.

Two men in particular were cleaning up. They were moving my Grandma to Chicago!

My stomach knotted. I panicked.

Again, my hand was in the air, fighting to keep a few more things. A copper kettle, some rag rugs, that carved table. The auctioneer held up ‘Sweet Charity’ and ‘Hours of Sunshine’ as a set. My stomach tightened.

Their eyes were on me. Good, god!

The bidding started. Where would I hang them? I looked away. The bid went up. I felt sick. I snuck a peek. My hand shot up. What was I thinking?

Why now? I upped the bid.

It was down to two of us. Who else was bidding? Oh no! The guy from Chicago! I didn’t have a chance.

Upped again. I paused. I took a deep breath. I folded. Maybe he would pick one and I could get the other. But no, he took both.

The rest of the auction blurred.

Then, it was over. People paid. The room emptied. Outside, vehicles were

loaded. I noticed the men boost the horsehair couch to the top of their full van.

One partner passed by me. I reached out. “Sir?” I whispered. “Sir. Remember those two prints your friend got? Is there any chance he might sell me that Charity one? I’ll pay what he wants.”

He looked me over and asked, “Why are you interested in it?”

“Nellie was my grandmother. I was hoping for a chance. . .”

“Hmm,” he hesitated, “I’ll ask my partner, but I doubt it.”

He returned nodding negatively, “Sorry, no deal.”

My chin sunk as I slid into a folding chair. I felt as empty as the room.

Then, a tap on my shoulder. He was back, peering into my glazed eyes.

“My partner has reconsidered. He has been watching you and realized that every time he looks at these prints, he will only see your sad face.”

He continued, “You must buy both prints back. They should not be separated. If you reimburse him what he paid, you have a deal.”

“Yes! Yes!” I jumped up, grabbed my checkbook, wrote out the rescue and thrust it into his hand. I followed him to their van.

He crawled into the back, shifted some items and gently handed one, then two frames out to me. I balanced them on the curb while he maneuvered his way back into the street. I smiled into the faces of my Grandmother’s retrieved prints.

Then, I heard him gasp. Eyes wide, he pointed to the backs of Charity and Sunshine.

“Who is Janet?” he asked.

“I am Janet. Why?” I turned the pieces around, and there, in large, chalky lettering, Grandma had written: JANET August 23, 1965.

Jan Kurtz pivots between her family cabin in north Wisconsin, her mother’s in Eau Claire and her son’s family in Otsego, coming home to do bills and touch base with area friends. She continues her interest in cultures and languages locally (festivals, powwows, celebrations) and globally, through Whatsapp chats and trips abroad.

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HER TABLE

+ no-bake treats

No-bake

Holiday Goodies

BY PUTTIN’ ON THE MITTS

Chelsey Perkins (left) and DeLynn Howard.

We melted. We shaped. We rolled. They ate. And voted! In the midst of the holiday season last year, The Mitts ran our first Goodest Goodies Contest, and boy, did readers respond. With so many delicious-sounding treats, we had a hard time narrowing it down to the top three -- so we ended up making five different goodies recipes.

Our co-workers got the best end of that decision, enjoying our creations at our annual Brainerd Dispatch/Echo Journal Christmas party. They served as our voting panel as well.

With the holiday season upon us, we wanted to give Her Voice readers the opportunity to include these wonderful treats as part of their Christmas cookie baking parties or whatever traditions your family follows. Give these impressive and yummy goodies a chance to join your own holiday spread.

Thank you to everyone who shared their Goodest Goodies with us last year — we love when we have the chance to show off what our talented readers are up to in their own kitchens.

12 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook 12 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

1st place:

Peanut Butter Balls (or bars)

SUBMITTED BY Eileen Pohlkamp of Pierz 1 cup butter 2 cups peanut butter 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar 2 cups crushed graham crackers 12 oz. bag of chocolate chips

Melt butter and peanut butter over low heat.

Add powdered sugar and graham crackers.

Either roll balls or pat in a 9x13 pan.

Chill. Melt chocolate chips.

Roll balls in melted chocolate and put on wax paper or spread over dough in pan. Let set.

Coconut Swirls

SUBMITTED BY Sherri DeLaHunt of Nisswa 2 tablespoons butter 3 tablespoons water 1 teaspoon vanilla 1/2 cup powdered/instant milk 2 cups powdered sugar 3 cups coconut 6 oz bag chocolate chips

Melt better in 2-quart saucepan.

Take from heat and add water and vanilla. Add powdered milk to powdered sugar. Add milk/sugar mixture to butter mixture one-half cup at a time, mixing well after each addition. Stir in coconut.

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3rd place:

Party Cookies (or unbaked date balls) SUBMITTED BY Debbie Chute of Aitkin 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1 cup dates, chopped 1 egg 3 tablespoons butter

1 teaspoon vanilla extract 2 cups puffed rice cereal 1 cup chopped nuts Shredded coconut for rolling

Mix together sugar, dates, egg and butter in a medium pot. Bring slowly to a boil over medium to low heat. Boil gently two minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Add vanilla extract, puffed rice and nuts, mixing well. Allow to cool slightly and form into small balls.

Roll in coconut. Keep in a cool place. Makes about 30 cookies.

Honorable Mention

Crock-Pot Candy

SUBMITTED BY Elizabeth Knutson of Crosslake 16 oz. unsalted dry roasted peanuts 16 oz. salted dry roasted peanuts 12 oz. semi-sweet chocolate chips

4 oz. bar German chocolate 2-24 oz. packages white almond bark, cut up

Add all ingredients in order into the slow cooker. Cover and turn on low for three hours, without stirring. Turn off and let sit for 15 minutes. Stir and drop by tablespoons on wax paper. Allow to cool before storing.

Honorable Mention

Wendy’s Christmas Pistachio Bark SUBMITTED BY Christine Roberts of Crosby 2-12 oz. packages white chocolate morsels 6-2 oz. vanilla or almond candy coating squares

2 cups dried cranberries 2 cups shelled green pistachios, chopped

Microwave white chocolate morsels and candy coating in a large microwave-safe glass bowl on high for three minutes. Stir at one-minute intervals. When melted, stir in 1 1/4 cup of dried cranberries and 1 cup of pistachios. Grease a 15-by-10-inch jelly roll pan and line it with waxed paper. Pour mixture into the pan. Top the bark by pressing the remaining dried cranberries and pistachios into the mixture (more cranberries and pistachios may be used if desired). Chill until firm, but cut into pieces before it gets too firm. Store in an airtight container up to one week.

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HER HEALTH + miscarriage

Alison Nickelson with her children, Claire (left), and Lucy said she and husband Scott wanted to reach out and let people know the pain they were going through. Photo by Joey Halvorson.

Good Grief How facing loss can heal

BY SARAH NELSON KATZENBERGER

Pregnancy loss is extremely common. So com-

mon in fact, one in four women suffer a miscarriage at some point in their reproductive years.

When things are common, it’s easy to minimize the impact they can have — especially when it comes to quantifying pain. Women often times find themselves grieving alone and minimizing their loss in comparison to the grief of others.

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 15

“It’s lonely,” said Dr. Monica Goodwin, family practice provider at Cuyuna Regional Medical Center (CRMC) in Crosby.

“It feels like no one will understand, so we just don’t talk about it.”

Monica has walked through countless miscarriages with patients over the years. “It’s never easy,” she said.

“It’s important to validate what they are going through — this matters. It is a big deal.”

- Dr. Monica Goodwin

“Whether this child was expected or not, the first baby or the 10th — it’s a loss.”

Monica knows because she has experienced it personally.

After the birth of her first two sons, she suffered two miscarriages. “I know how this impacts a person,” she said. “For me, it changed my ability to recognize the depth and duration of the pain that comes with miscarriage.”

As a physician, Monica said it is her job to make sure her patients are physically safe, but as a mother and a person of faith, she puts equal value on the emotional and spiritual part of grieving a miscarriage. “The most important thing is giving them time,” she said. “Time to express what they need to and soak in what is happening.”

Monica said it is important for women to know there is no time frame for recovery after losing a pregnancy and no limit on the emotions they might experience.

“It’s important to validate what they are going through — this matters. It is a big deal,” Monica said. “It verifies that we are not in control of our fer-

tility and that can be so hard to cope with.”

For Susan Severson, loss came unexpectedly. She went in for a routine ultrasound with her third child, following two normal pregnancies.

“I could tell something was wrong,” she said.

Susan could see her baby, but there was no movement. Waiting for confirmation from her doctor — who happens to be Monica Goodwin — Susan sat with her two little boys, Rowan and Finn, and just tried to take it all in.

“When Monica came in she was crying,” Susan said. “I just knew.”

Susan said she went home and waited for her body to respond to the loss and immediately searched the internet for what to expect as far as physical recovery after a miscarriage.

The first thing she found was an article that said to pick up a trashy magazine and a pint of ice cream.

“It was like it’s a cold you’re trying to get over instead of the life of your child,” Susan recalled. “I felt like the

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“We are never really going to know what happened. And that’s OK.” Alison said. to visit the doctor’s office after experiencing some cramping.

“The baby looked good,” she recalled. “At that point we didn’t think we had anything to worry about.”

Within a few days Alison found herself in a worse case scenario. Her water broke. When an ultrasound confirmed their fears, Alison went home to wait it out. “At that point there was nothing they could do,” she recalled.

Alison delivered her baby boy at home. “He was so perfect,” she said. “Just completely formed and so small.”

Alison and her husband, Scott, shared their pain with friends and family, church community, and on Facebook. What she got in return was a great deal of love, support and a new outlook on the silent pain of women who had walked through the same kind of loss.

“I wanted people to know what we were facing,” she said. “So many people reached out and told us their stories too — so many people said, ‘I’ve never told anyone this before.’”

Two years after her miscarriage, Alison looks back on her experience

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world was telling me to get over it.”

Susan delivered her son Max at 14 weeks gestation.

“He looked just like my grandpa — I never expected that,” she said. “He was perfect.”

Susan said while she waited to deliver Max, she and husband, Johnny sat in silence, not sure what to even say to each other. She turned on the TV and suddenly felt the pain of it all.

“I knew I had a choice,” she said. “I could either tune it out and distract myself, or I could face this.”

Susan decided to take her grief head on. She reached out to her friends. She held her tiny baby. They honored Max with a funeral. Friends brought food and tears and simple presence. “They grieved with us,” Susan said. “I think when you’re vulnerable, you give people the chance to rise to the occasion.”

Within a few months of losing Max, Susan and Johnny found out they were expecting again, only to have their hope shattered with a second miscarriage. “We named him Gabriel,” Susan said. This time was different.

Susan said they buried Gabriel next to Max, but kept things informal and personal.

“I just wanted to move on,” she recalled. “But my truest friends wouldn’t let me not talk about it.”

Susan said prior to her loss, she felt like she could never live through something like miscarriage.

“I’ve learned so much through this, though,” she said. “I don’t want to distract myself from what has been given to me — they really are some of the most beautiful experiences of my life.”

After losing her son Christian 17 weeks into her pregnancy, Alison Nickelson decided to take her pain public. “I am the kind of person who talks about things,” Alison said. “I grieved so hard and I wanted to talk about it.”

After an uneventful first pregnancy with her daughter Claire, Alison went

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 17

with a mix of pain and gratefulness. She has a tiny tattoo on her forearm of Christian’s footprints. She said in the months that followed Christian’s death, she spent a lot of time praying and crying and journaling. “I wanted to be broken,” she said. “So that I could really heal.”

Like a lot of women, there were no answers as to why Alison’s pregnancy ended so suddenly. She went on to have a completely normal pregnancy and delivery with her second daughter, Lucy. “We are never really going to know what happened,” Alison said. “And that’s OK.” Monica, Susan and Alison are all part of an enormous population of women who share this bond of pregnancy loss.

“I had these two children who I could only sense for a few months, but they have impacted my life so much,” Susan recalled.

“They have changed the way I view my friendships with other women — I don’t want to live on the surface anymore — I want to get to the heart of people.”

Monica said she is grateful for the way pain forges deep friendship and through that — healing. “It’s so deeply personal and lonely,” she said. “When you find someone who gets it and is willing to share their experience — that’s a gift.”

My STORY On Dec. 21, 2017, I was the one in four. After three healthy pregnancies, my husband Chad and I found out we were expecting our fourth child. Our initial shock quickly turned to excitement as we began to imagine what a fourth child would mean for our family. Our anticipation shifted when it became apparent my pregnancy was ending.

For a week prior, I lived in this world of unknowns — trying to hold loosely to our hopes and expectations but feeling all the weight of a mother willing to do anything for her tiny baby.

I remember sitting in Monica Goodwin’s office just trying to grab hold of any kind of answer, any control I could get my hands on. But I couldn’t.

I’m a searcher and a knowledge

Susan (left), Monica and Sarah.

Monica said she is grateful for the way pain forges deep friendship and through that — healing.

junkie by nature so I wanted to know why and what would happen next and how I was supposed to handle this.

Monica, who has delivered all three of my kids, just sat with me and cried and grieved our loss with us. There just weren’t any answers. It was in that moment I knew I needed to sit in this pain for a while. Surrender to it. Talk about it. Acknowledge it. The more I let myself share with others the more I realized I am not alone. It has forged deeper friendships. It has shown me how God draws so near to us in our suffering. It made me realize how important the women in my life are — and how important it is to face suffering with each other.

Our experiences are more than small-talk and Facebook feeds. When we can share our greatest joys and deepest pain we are at our best. This

18 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

story was a hard one to write, because it is mine. I experienced this loss. I buried it. I named it. I know it’s sad and hard and as Monica told me last winter, “we are not very good at grief.” But we can be, and in that, we can find wholeness again. So, this story, though it comes with sadness and loss, is important because it just might validate the loss of someone you know or maybe even yours.

Sarah Nelson Katzenberger is a displaced Californian who had no idea there were four seasons until she moved to Minnesota. She is a former missionary, law school drop-out, high school teacher and award-winning journalist with the Brainerd Dispatch. She continues to write for local and national publications and provides unsolicited grammar correction as needed. Sarah lives in Brainerd with her husband Chad and their three baby Vikings, Ellis, Meredith and Truett.

HER PASSION + giving back

BY LISA HENRY

It’s the most wonderful time of the year—for

FUELING YOUR

iving GSpirit

most. For some it can be a financial crisis to buy presents, food or to keep warm. For others it’s heartache and loss of connection with loved ones. If you are fortunate enough to be filled with holiday cheer, consider sharing it with another. And for those struggling this time of year, giving to another just might help fuel your spirit. Here are some programs that could use your help.

Operation Christmas Child

The program is operated by Samaritan’s Purse, an international relief organization. Their goal is to share “the Good News of Jesus Christ” with children around the world who have been affected by poverty, war, natural disaster, famine or disease as well as to children living on Native American reservations in the U. S. COLLECTION DATES: NOVEMBER 11-19 How it works: Step 1. Find an average sized shoebox. You can wrap it, but the top and bottom must be wrapped separately so it can still open and close.

Step 2. Choose an age category (24, 5-9 or 10-14) and gender.

Step 3. Fill the box with gifts.

Samaritan’s Purse suggests packing one “wow” item like a fun toy or stuffed animal, three personal care items like soap, toothbrush and washcloth; three small toys or crafts like pencils, coloring books, whistle or playdough; and three

accessories like sunglasses, hair binders, socks or flip-flops. You can also include a personal note, family photo or card. A prayer over the shoebox is also encouraged. There’s an option to buy and track your shipping label and shoebox.

To see the entire list of suggested items and instructions go to samaritanspurse.org and follow the Operation Christmas Child tabs. There is also a list of things not to pack as well, such as chocolate and toothpaste. You can opt to build your shoebox online. Just pay

$25, choose the items and Samaritan’s Purse will put it together and deliver it.

Simple.

Step 4. Drop it off at the following location between Nov. 11-19. *A donation of $9 is also needed for shipping and handling costs.

The local pick-up and drop-off Location: Lakewood Evangelical Free Church. 6284 Fairview Road Baxter, MN 56425

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 19

Happy pets and Animals

Mittens for purchase at Animal Care Center.

Don’t forget the fur friends. Help support the wonderful organizations that care for animals without humans to call their own.

Office Manager Teri Mackedanz at Animal Care Center said they sell handmade mittens by volunteers with proceeds going to Heart of a Border Collie Rescue. “We’ve also had people call in and donate money to help with outstanding accounts,” she added. Mackedanz also suggested HART, the Babinski Foundation and Wild & Free.

To make a donation or to purchase a pair of mittens, stop in or call the clinic at 218-822-6000, 6763 Foley Rd., Baxter.

The Babinski Foundation, a non-profit animal shelter in Pequot Lakes furnishes a wishlist on their website each year. “People can also donate funds right from our website

that could go towards expensive surgeries,” said Linda Bryant, volunteer foster manager. You can also make donations in memory of a loved one.

To donate: www.babinskifoundation.org.

HART Executive Director Donna Wambeke said “the biggest expense we have is cat litter and bleach. We go through a lot of both and can never have enough.” Though treats and food are appreciated as well, she says it’s hard to find storage space and protect it from outside critters.

They also welcome donations of laundry soap, postage stamps, gas cards and cash.

To donate: www.hartpets.org.

Babinski Foundation Wishlist: Dog or cat beds with washable (removable) covers • Chew toys for dogs • Activity toys for cats • Dog or cat treats (no rawhide please) • Fleece blankets or material to make blankets • Printer paper • Rolls of paper towels • Hand size terrycloth towels • Puppy pads • Gallons of distilled water • 70% Rubbing alcohol • Hydrogen peroxide • Tongue depressors • Dixie cups • Ziplock snack and sandwich size bags • Cash donations are also accepted.

Be a Santa to a Senior

There are seniors in our community who are in need of some Christmas joy. Be a Santa to a Senior is a program organized by the Home Instead Senior Network.

How it works: There’s no qualification process, just a name of a senior who could use a little cheer and a suggestion of a gift they might like.

“It’s usually simple things like socks, lap blankets, or hat and mittens,” said Deb Cranny, executive director for Home Instead Senior Care in Brainerd. All names must be in

by Nov. 20. Then 8 to 10 Christmas trees are put up throughout the area Nov. 21-26 adorned with tags listing a first name and gift idea. “More than anything, we need the community to pick up tags from the trees and purchase gifts,” Cranny said.

You can find the trees at local businesses in the lakes area.

To see a full list go to www.beasantatoasenior.com or call call Home Instead Senior Care All gifts and tags need to be returned to the tree they were taken from wrapped or unwrapped by Dec. 12. “We also need people to wrap presents Dec. 6 and 7 and again Dec. 11-14.” Santa and his crew go door to door delivering the gifts to very surprised seniors. “There’s lots of hugs, lots of tears and lots of smiles. It’s a wonderful day,” said Cranny.

For more information or to get involved call Deb Cranny **All names must (218) 824-0077 be in by Nov. 20

20 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

Volunteers Ione and Tom Soyett.

Christmas In Custody Program Sergeant Miranda Neuwirth at Crow Wing County Jail said volunteers of Salem West have been visiting the jail for many years and, in recent years, Lutheran Church of the Cross has also joined their efforts in delivering Christmas joy to cheer the troubled soul.

To donate to this program call Dennis or Dee Dee at Salem West 218-534-4962.

Christmas Behind Bars: “This is a program that has a large group of volunteers who put together goodie bags and deliver them to jails and prisons across the state,” said Neuwirth. The bags consist of various candy, snacks and religious materials.

All inventory is now.....

NEW!

To donate to this program: http:// christmasbehindbars.org/contact. html

CLOTHING Brands we carry, and arriving soon..

Lazy One • Bee Attitudes Sidewalk Talk (infants) Izzy & Owie Snow Stopper mittens, boots and snow pants

Unique TOYS • Sensory Toys Educational Toys • Puzzles Games • Books Great Pretenders Role Play

Great place to get gifts for all ages!

(218) 824-0006 618 Front Street, Downtown Brainerd

Stop in for great deals on Small Business Saturday - November 24th Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 21

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How it works: Inmates gather to listen to volunteers read a part of the Christmas story followed by pizza and brownies and visiting with the folks who volunteer. Parents in custody are allowed to pick out gifts for their children. After the event, families stop by the jail and pick up the gifts, or for those living outside the area, the church will send the gifts.

NEW and EXCITING things are happening at

HER CAREER + supervisor

Work Hard ­—And Be Nice

STORY AND PHOTOS

BY SUZ ANNE WIPPERLING

J

ill Billman, the patient access supervisor at Essentia Health for the Baxter and Brainerd clinics, uses her personal motto throughout her life.

Supervisor Jill Billman (front), with her Brainerd Clinic’s Lead Mary Lobitz.

Work Hard

When supervising at work at the Brainerd and Baxter Essentia clinics, Jill brings her philosophy with her. When her husband, Mitch Billman, landed his job in the Brainerd area, Jill job searched here. Mitch is currently working at Crosby’s Cuyuna Regional Medical Center as a registered respiratory therapist. The couple lives in Pillager.

She began work with Essentia Health in housekeeping in 2009. “We all have jobs to do. Someone who works in housekeeping is just as important as the CEO. If we didn’t have them, our clinics and hospitals wouldn’t be a safe place for our patients to receive care in.”

She learned her work ethics from her family in Duluth. Her father owns a construction company in Duluth and her mother ran a daycare in their home when Jill was young.

“I look at my parents and I see their hard work, and maybe at the time, when I was younger, I didn’t understand. Now, it’s really nice to see them be able to enjoy life and have a little fun.”

22 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

“I have always had a drive to help people.”

- Jill Billman After a year in housekeeping, Jill applied for a desk job and began registering patients part-time at Urgent Care. In 2015 she became the Baxter lead patient representative, a fulltime position. Then, Urgent Care was moved from the Brainerd clinic to the Baxter clinic. In 2016, Jill was promoted to patient access supervisor, overseeing a team located at both Baxter and Brainerd Essentia clinics.

She supervises three patient access leads, and more than 50 patient access clerks. She shapes a force of caring people into her own Essentia team. “If given a choice I hire the person with good customer service skills over computer skills.”

As supervisor, Jill says, “I have always had a drive to help people. It’s important to me that I know the work they do. I was that front-line staff.” Jill can answer more than just vacation questions; she can help maneuver intricate computer applications.

Be Nice

Jill says of being nice, “Lend a hand to those that need help, because you never know when you will be the one that needs help.

On finding balance, Jill says, “Work is important, but everyone needs to find balance between work and home. My husband and I try our best to do that and took up pottery. We have been throwing pottery on our wheel at home for the past year and a half. We decided this was something we could do together, so we bought a new Brent Pottery Wheel and Skutt kiln. We spend a lot of time creating bowls, mugs and vases.” Jill also enjoys cooking for others and working on her Cricut cutting machine. Jill, and a friend’s daughter, Kimberly, built a double-decker Little Free Library for their neighborhood.

Jill says, “Another aspect of nice is respect. Respect is one of the Essentia Health core values, so this plays a part in how I go about my day, both at work and at home. It doesn’t matter what your job title is, everyone should always be treated with respect.”

“This isn’t just a job to me. This is what I feel I was meant to do. I truly love my job, even on crazy, busy days. It is important to me to be a good leader for my team and lead them in the right direction.”

Whether shaping clay or shaping careers, Jill brings a steady hand to the task. Having an effective personal philosophy is Jill’s road map to success.

To keep balanced Jill creates pottery and and other projects like the Little Free Library built by her and a friend’s daughter.

“Respect is one of the Essentia Health core values, so this plays a part in how I go about my day, both at work and at home...”

- Jill Billman Suz Anne Wipperling works as a Patient Access Representative at Essentia Health. An occasional contributor to Her Voice since 2005, Suz enjoys the fascinating stories of local women. As a new grandma, Suz knows the importance of passing our stories down.

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 23

Cindy Fischer, Owner

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Mr. Tire

Hometown: Brainerd, MN Education: Brainerd High School - Class of 1972, School of Hard Knocks Family: Husband Keith, Son Andy, and a German Shepherd named Uhlie

First Job: Waitressing at my family’s resturant on Borden Lake, which is now JJ’s Pub. Favorite Part of the Job: Working with people and helping them stay safe on the roads and getting to work with my son every day!

When you are not at work, what are you doing?: Outfishing my husband and son, gardening, and rooting for the Vikings with my sisters, Shelly and Jodi.

How long have you been working in the automotive industry?: My husband and I were partners in the first Tires Plus in West St. Paul in 1986. Then we sold our share in that company to start our own Meineke Discount Muffler in Maplewood, MN. In 1990, our son was born and at that time, we decided we wanted to be our own bosses, rather than working for a franchise, and started our own private auto repair shop in Crosby, Cuyuna Country Auto Center. Six years later, we sold Cuyuna Country Auto to its current owners and we were on the move again to Crystal River, Florida where I worked at a Dodge dealership for a year and half before my mother was diagnosed with cancer. At that time, we decided to come back to Minnesota to spend time with my mom and that’s when we built and opened Mr. Tire in 2001. We’ve been here ever since and are very fortunate to have such loyal customers who have kept us going through all these years!

Brakes - Exhaust - Alignments - General Auto Repair Mr. Tire 1 Washington St. NE, Brainerd 218-829-1668

Your Friend in the Tire Business

Jennifer Auvil

Jennifer Auvil

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1

Jennifer Auvil joins SpaQuest Jennifer Auvil joins SpaQuest

part of helping others feel their Jennifer Auvil, stylist with has brought her to and back Jennifer Auvil, stylist with has been has brought part ofanhelping feelShe their SpaQuest in the her to and fromback Florida, owned Aveda others best. also uses Olaplex SpaQuest has been in the from Florida, owned an Aveda best.

She also uses Olaplex salon industry for 20 years.

Salon with her sister for 3 years on every client that does a salon industry for 20A years.

Salon with 3 yearsand most on every client that color does aor highlight to keep local to the Brainerd area,her sisterinfor Perham recently A local to the Brainerd in Perham and mostworked recentlyat the Fine colorLine or highlight keephair healthy. Jennifer is shearea, graduated from Pillager Salon totheir she graduated from High Pillager worked at the Fine Line Salon their hair healthy.

Jennifer is taking new clients, School then went to for about 7 years. She made the currently High School then went to for about 7 years. She made currently taking clients, Northwest Technical College move to the SpaQuest because of newgive her a call and set up your Northwest Technicalfor College move to SpaQuest because of give her a call and set up your today!

Cosmetology. She is married the flexibility in hours to have appointment for Cosmetology. Shewith is married theand flexibility have to travel appointment two children enjoysin hours thetoability and take today!

218-838-9762 with two children and enjoysrelationships the ability travel and take education classes.

218-838-9762 building withtoher continuing building relationships with and her getting continuing classes. clients to knoweducation Jennifer works with the Wella clients and getting to know Jennifer works with the Wella people. Her career as a stylist color line, and enjoys being a people. Her career as a stylist color line, and enjoys being a

Nancy Williams, Owner

Fancy Pants Chocolates I was watching Food Network one day and saw Jacque Torres making chocolates. I decided I would like to smell chocolate every day so I rented a store and named it Chocolate Etc. At first I bought the chocolates for the store but everyone asked “Do you make your own?” So I bought a book on how to make chocolates and taught myself. It was really hard as chocolate definitely has a mind of its own. That was 15 years ago. In 2008, I moved to Laurel

Street in downtown Brainerd and changed the name to Fancy Pants Chocolates. I make about 37 different chocolate candies and 12 different flavored truffles with more varieties at the holidays.

We still hand cut and hand dip everything. Chocolate-covered potato chips, chocolate-covered cherries and sea salt caramels are favorites. I can’t begin to express the gratitude and love I have for my family and the people of the Brainerd lakes for the support I’ve

been given. I meet people from all over the United States and the world. I have had people in my store from Tanzania, Russia, England, Germany, India and Spain and my chocolates have been bought and sent all over.

It truly has been an excellent adventure.

704 Laurel Street, Brainerd 218-828-7844

FitQuest Athletic Club

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Joan Peterson, Owner

Joan Peterson, owner of FitQuest Athletic Club, was the 10th owner of the club in a 20 year span (an average of 2 years per owner and 10 different names!). Joan is now in her 14th year and is the first female owner, and expanded into a new facility 10 years ago.

Her passion for fitness and helping others achieve their fitness goals started over 30 years ago with her own fitness journey, then teaching fitness

classes and personal training in Monticello. FitQuest is a club for everybody - all sizes, fitness levels, ages, and interests. They have many types of classes that are free with membership, basketball, pickleball, racquetball and all the typical weights and cardio equipment.

Joan is committed to creating a gym atmosphere where members feel comfortable and included. Joining a gym can be intimidating, especially

for women. FitQuest strives to make everyone at ease, giving a free orientation to all new members starting in a private office and ending in the gym.

FitQuest is located at 15840 Audubon Way Baxter.

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 25

PHOTO BY JOEY HALVORSON

HER PASSION + basketball

PAIGE

BUECKERS

BY CAROL MILLER

On Aug. 23-24, Paige Bueckers put on a basketball clinic for

grades 2-9 at the Brainerd YMCA. We saw young athletes getting “Buckets with Bueckers” T-shirts, going through basketball drills and asking questions during a Q and A.

26 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

At the time, many of us would wonder who is Paige Bueckers? Paige Bueckers is a 5-foot, 11-inch junior point guard for the Hopkins High School Royals. Last year as a sophomore she averaged 22.8 points per game, 6.9 assists, 5.8 rebounds, and 4.8 steals. She is such an exceptional basketball player that most of the major colleges across the country are interested in recruiting.

She is the daughter of Amy Dettbarn, who graduated from Brainerd High School in 1995 and ran cross-country and track and played basketball for the Warriors, and Bob Bueckers. Her grandparents, Steve and JoAnn Dettbarn still live in Brainerd.

Because of these Brainerd ties, Paige wanted to put on a clinic here to share some of what she has received. “I know that God has blessed me and I know that not everyone has had the opportunities that I have had and I want to give back to others.”

Bueckers started playing basketball when she was 5 years old and her abilities were recognized early on. Her grandmother, JoAnn, said: “Paige always played on a team two years ahead of her grade.

When she was in third grade, she played on the fifth grade team, etc.” As an eighth grader, Paige started six games with the varsity and has been a starter ever since.

She has already been on a national team that won a gold medal in Buenos Aires, Argentina in 2017, and in 2018, she helped her team win a gold medal in the FIBA U17 World Cup in Minsk, Belarus. While these accomplishments certainly show Paige’s athletic ability, she has won two other prestigious awards. In 2018 she was the Naismith High School All-American runner-up and the Gatorade Minnesota Player of the Year, an award based on athletic excellence, academic achievement and exemplary character.

When you meet Paige, you find a poised, confident young woman with a winning smile, quick to express her gratitude for the opportunities she has been given. Her mom and dad have been the most influential people in her life both on and off the basketball court. “One is on my right shoulder and the other on my left shoul-

PHOTO BY STEVE KOHLS

“I know that God has blessed me and I know that not everyone has had the opportunities that I have had and I want to give back to others.”

-Paige Bueckers

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 27

PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON

“I want them to look up to me as a player.

I want to be the best role model I can be.”

-Paige Bueckers

HER ADVICE?

“Keep working hard.”

Paige giving one-on-one instruction to young basketball enthusiasts at the Brainerd YMCA.

der encouraging me.” Her teammates have supported her as well. Kayhla Adams, a teammate of Paige’s who helped with the clinic at Brainerd, said she has played with Paige since the fourth grade. She described Paige as a “great floor general” who seems to know things before they happen. I am blessed to be able to play with Paige.”

Along with great success comes great responsibility. Paige will have many opportunities to reach out to other athletes. She was asked what she would want them to see in her. “I

want them to look up to me as a player. I want to be the best role model I can be.” Her advice to them would be to keep working hard. “I didn’t think I would ever be this good, but it took hard work.” Her favorite player in the NBA is point guard Kyrie Irving of the Boston Celtics and her favorite WNBA player is Diana Taurasi. How many young players will one day, or even now, call Paige their favorite player?

The next two years will be very busy years for Paige. She has a 3.72 gradepoint average and wants to maintain

28 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

that but said, “I miss a lot of school because of basketball.” She played in a tournament in Buenos Aires, Argentina, in October and that is time away from school. Her other goals this year are to win a state high school championship for the Hopkins Royals and to make the US U19 team. She will continue to work on her game including getting physically stronger.

In addition to all of this, colleges from all over the country will be recruiting her. Paige said she will narrow it down to 10-15 colleges and tell the

u

Thank yo

BY PRESENTED Dispatch The Brainerd

ES INERDdLAK THE BRA Dispatch ed by the Brainer Present

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Seeing You Through the Winter Months Ahead

Paige challenges a young player to dribble the ball around her.

Treatment of eye infections, injuries & glaucoma Consultations for laser and cataract surgery

• Eye Exams • Contact Lenses • Eye Wear 001674127r1

Dr. Jackie McCall

7870 Excelsior Rd., Baxter 218.828.9545 • 877.338.3957

Paige sits down with Carol Miller for her interview.

Carol Miller has taught high school English. She coached basketball at Central Lakes College for eight years in the 1980’s as well as tennis and softball for several years. She was the Executive Director of the Brainerd YMCA for four years. Carol is retired and loves to read and is an avid sports fan.

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others she is not interested. When asked if she was interested in the University of Minnesota now that Lindsey Whalen was the coach, she expressed some interest.

She said of Whalen, “She has paved the way for us, shown us that little people in Minnesota can make it big.”

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 29

HER FAMILY

Native Roots

BY JODIE TWEED

Growing up in Brainerd, Julie Kemper always knew she was adopted. Her parents never kept that a secret. She also knew her birth father was Native and was curious about what that meant for her as someone with native genes. “My parents always told me that I was half-Indian, and I was always proud to be that,” she explains. “I wanted to know what tribe I belonged to.”

Julie Kemper, dressed in sweat lodge ceremony attire with her newly found biological half-brother Charles “Chuck” Leith. The two attended the ceremony in September along with Julie’s daughter Lisa Henry and granddaughter Marin Scheiterlein.

It wasn’t until her eldest daughter Leah was born that Kemper first saw someone who looked like her. She had so many questions about her birth parents, and she felt she needed to find out more about them. Her brother, Rick, was also adopted and he had found his birth mother and developed a good relationship with her. She wanted the same, especially to know more about her birth father.

Julie, who now lives in Melrose, called the agency who handled her adoption. They were able to tell Julie her birth father was Dakota Sioux but couldn’t give her his name. Nonidentifying information in the file explained he was full-blooded Sioux, that he was 18 at the time of her birth and that he was a good ice skater. She also wrote a letter to her birth mother that was passed on to her by the agency. Her birth mother, who had been 21 when she was born, wrote back, telling her

30 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

The Siegels: (left to right) Rick, Julie, LeRoy and Marion, 1975.

that she, at this time, didn’t want contact.

The news hit Kemper hard, recalls her daughter, Lisa Henry, who was 12 back then.

“She was really sad about it,” Lisa explains. “She felt like she was bad — rejected.”

Other non-identifying information in her birth mother’s adoption file explained her birth father didn’t know about her. Her birth mother’s father was a newspaper owner/publisher while

Julie with her brother Rick. Both were adopted separately as babies by LeRoy and Marion Siegel.

in finding her mom’s birth father.

They messaged back and forth, and fortunately, her birth mother shared her story, along with Julie’s birth father’s name. While Julie hasn’t established a relationship with her birth mother, she was grateful she shared the information she needed, along with family photographs. Julie looks just like her.

Lisa immediately began searching online for her birth grandfather.

Sadly, she discovered his obituary; he had passed away in 2003. But the obituary provided names of his children, so she went on Facebook and messaged his daughter-in-law.

Her husband, Charles “Chuck,” was Julie’s half-brother. Soon, everyone on both sides of the family was excited to learn of their long-lost connection and they started a group message where everyone was contributing family photos and stories about Julie’s late birth father, Charles.

He not only loved to ice skate, but he was always roller skating, family told her.

As fate would have it, Julie’s

Julie’s biological father, Charles A. Leith in 1996.

daughter Kelli Henry, who lives in St. Cloud, was with a friend named Pam when her sister texted her about finding their birth grandfather. Pam was Native, and Kelli had felt connected to her immediately after they first met about five years ago. Kelli excitedly told Pam Lisa had found her mom’s birth father. His name was Charles, Kelli told Pam. “My dad’s name is Charles,” Pam exclaimed.

Pam is Julie’s half-sister, Kelli’s

his wife, Julie’s birth grandmother, was an English teacher and played piano.

Ironically, Julie worked for years as a graphic designer for newspapers, magazines and other publications. Lisa serves as a graphic designer at the Brainerd Dispatch. “The joke in the newspaper industry is that ink is in the blood, I guess it’s true,” concluded Lisa.

Julie dropped her adoption search and went on with her life. “I felt helpless, without knowing my father’s name,” she explains. She went on to raise her three children and taught them about their Native heritage as much as she could.

Two years ago, Lisa decided to take an Ancestry DNA test. She wanted to find out her ethnicity, but she also hoped to connect to her Native family members. She ended up with a close DNA match, who she learned was her birth great-grandfather’s sister (Lisa’s greataunt). That led her to dig for more information online and she found the name of her mom’s birth mother. She reached out to her mom’s half-sister on Facebook, sending her a message asking for help Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 31

Family “Within three days I went from not knowing anything to knowing everything... It was so overwhelming.”

- Julie Kemper

Two of Julie’s biological half-brothers Chuck (left) and Delaino Leith.

The first time Julie (center), met her siblings Chuck and Pam (right) at Chuck’s house in Mound, Minn., October 2017.

“It was like something right out of a movie...

They were together, just hanging out. It was so crazy.” -Lisa Henry Julie’s daughter Kelli (left), and Pam were friends before they ever knew they were related —niece and aunt.

aunt. Kelli long ago had told Pam she reminded her of her mom, the way they both spoke with their hands.

Maybe that’s why they were drawn to each other as friends; they both felt the familiarity.

“It was like something right out of a movie,” Lisa says with a laugh. Her sister texted her a photo of her and Pam, aunt and niece. “They were together, just hanging out. It was so crazy.”

The families, including three of Julie’s six half-siblings — Chuck, Delano and Pam — on her birth fa-

ther’s side, met a week later. The family reunion felt as if they’d known each other their entire lives.

“We’d never seen anybody, like cousins, who looked like our native side; it was surreal to see them,” Lisa says. “I have a cousin who is 13 who looks like me when I was 13. We’re like twins.”

“Within three days I went from not knowing anything to knowing everything,” adds Julie. “It was so overwhelming.” She also learned she had nine half siblings between both sides of her birth family.

Chuck invited Julie and her family to a sweat lodge in August. It provided them with an opportunity to explore their Native culture. It was a beautiful and spiritual experience.

“It was very humbling,” says Julie.

32 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

Lisa (right) with cousin Marylynn.

“Unless you are part of it, you have no idea. In my younger days when I was studying it, I wanted to be part of it but I had nobody to go to.”

“There’s such a rich culture there that we always wanted to know and I still feel like we really don’t belong,” Lisa says. “But learning from them, it’s something I’ve always wanted.

They’re so accepting and friendly. It makes me want to be more involved. I want to immerse myself more into that culture and I think it’s neat we finally have some people to ask. They’re loving and accepting and they want to be part of our lives, which is really cool.”

Julie says after seeing photos of her birth mother, she’s let go of the

The family reunion felt as if they’d known each other their entire lives.

October 2017.

Julie and Chuck looked at photos of their grandmother’s ancestors on their father’s side during a family reunion in August, Shakopee, Minn.

Found “There’s such a rich culture there that we always wanted to know...” - Lisa Henry disappointment and sadness she previously felt and now feels compassion for her. Her mother was young and it was the early 1960s. Julie was raised by loving parents and regrets nothing.

Neither does her daughter.

Lisa’s daughter Marin and Chuck.

“I’m really close to my grandma Marion and after I found out I went over to her house and hugged her,” adds Lisa. “I was just so thankful that without my biological grandmother giving my mom up for adoption, we wouldn’t have known my grandparents and my grandma is one of the most important people in my life.”

Jodie Tweed is a former longtime Brainerd Dispatch reporter who lives in Pequot Lakes. She is an editor and writes for local, regional and national publications. She is also English, Scottish, Norwegian, French and German, and thinks everyone should take a DNA test.

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Restorative Yoga

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3 Vitamin B-12

4 Patch up

The Stress & Anxiety Relief patches from www.AuraExploraare frequency Honey collected fromtionPatches.com the hives based therapy designed to increase joy and happiness. (love these!)

Exhausted? Vitamin B-12 helps you feel energized and alert. Take the Methylcobalamin vrs (avoid Cyanocobalamin), choose liquid drops for faster results.

34 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

5

Just Breathe When under stress, we breathe shallow.

Take 3-5 slow deep breaths to oxygenate your body and trigger your brain to relax.

6 Reflexology The soles of your feet contain points that correspond to different organs and systems. This therapy involves massage and pressure on these various points for health benefits and deep relaxation.

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Don’t blow a gasket— take GABA an amino acid in the brain and a supplement. Take GABA to help relax and reduce stress. In times of intense stress or anxiety, empty a GABA capsule under your tongue for immediate relief.

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8 Get your Zzzs Can’t turn your brain off? Write it down! Keep a pad of paper next to your bed and write down all the things you’re trying to remember or trying to let go of. You will be amazed how this easy solution works to give your brain permission to stop thinking and sleep.

9 Spoonk Me Cynthia (Schmid) Ransom is a Traditional Naturopath who keeps busy at her Brainerd based, national skin care company, Good Karma Skincare.

Her book The Blue Sheep Movement is due out November 2018. A BHS graduate, she is delighted to be back in Brainerd with her husband and furry children.

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HER FAMILY + grandma

More than Memories

BY SUE STERLING

As I watched a young mother pushing her toddler on the swings, my thoughts reverted to days of long ago when it was me pushing my child on a swing after a long day’s work.

I remember wanting to give him everything the world had to offer. I wanted to protect him from the pain life inflicts upon each soul. But most of all, I wanted him to know he was loved. My grandmother was the one who showed me that kind of love. That’s why she’s my hero.

When I was growing up in the 50s and 60s, Grandma was the glue that held the family together.

She made the best cookies, too.

If you wanted to know the recipe, Grandma was there to find it for you. If you wanted to know something that you were too embarrassed to ask your parent or teacher, Grandma was always open and honest enough to answer it without making you feel stupid.

Life has changed the way we communicate in the 21st century, but grandmothers are still the ones who hold families together.

Grandmothers hold the key to understanding where we come from. They can unlock the mysteries of life that no one else can.

When we are young, we don’t care about our heritage, but as we grow older we wonder how things were

for the generations before us. If you are lucky enough to have a grandmother in your life, cherish her. My grandmother passed away many years ago and I still miss her.

In the years since her death I’ve had so many questions only she could answer: How did she meet Grandpa? What were their courting days like? What was childbirth like? What were the circumstances around her child that died? How did she survive the depression with four kids on the farm? What was my dad, her son, like when he was a boy? Was he wild and reckless or serious and restrained? If she could live life over again, what would she change?

If you are a Generation X or younger, chances are your grandmother is still around. She holds a treasure trove of answers to your

Sue Sterling’s newest grandson Wyatt born Sept. 22, 2018.

36 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

heritage, as well as your family’s health history. Start your list of questions now. You may not live next door to her, but technology can bring her into your home in this digital age of computers and cell phones. Gone is the high cost of long-distance calls, replaced by video calling. Facebook and Instagram make sharing photos easy, but there’s still nothing like a real, live, one-on-one conversation.

With age comes wisdom. That’s what makes a grandma so special.

The hardest part of being a mother is watching your children make mistakes. They wouldn’t listen to us as parents, but our grandchildren do.

Yes, we spoil them, but that doesn’t mean we don’t influence them in positive ways, too. The majority of mothers today have to work to make ends meet. Often it is the grandmothers they turn to for taking care of the little ones. They replace daycare with grandma-care. They are there in the trenches building sand castles and

singing songs with them, as well as changing diapers and drying tears.

We teach them to love each person for who they are and build up their own sense of self-worth. Money cannot buy the blessings a grandmother

With age comes wisdom. That’s what makes a grandma so special. passes on to her grandchildren.

Some of my greatest blessings call me “Nana.” I have seven grandchildren of my own and the joy they bring into my life is immeasurable. There is no greater music to my ears than the sound of my grandchildren laughing.

I record as many moments as I can in pictures and in words so when they ask me years from now what they were like as kids, or what life was like for me, I’ll be ready for them. Are you?

What would you ask your grandmother if she were seated right next to you today? Would you care about her dreams? Would you want to know where her ancestors came from? Are there any family secrets that intrigue you? Write down your questions now and when the time is right, ask them. I think you’ll find that she is much more informative than Google can ever be for you.

Sue Sterling is a resident of Brainerd and currently works as a VISTA Outreach Specialist at The Center. Besides writing, her other passions are calligraphy, photography, watercolor painting, singing and sewing. She is a member of the Brainerd Area Art Guild, a volunteer at Woodland Good Samaritan, and past president of Lakes Area Singles. She is also the mother of three sons and seven beautiful grandchildren.

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BrainerdLakesHome.com Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 37

YOUR VOICE + grandma

We asked our Facebook friends to share photos of their grandmothers. Find us on Facebook to find more opportunities.

Donna Lovett “Picture of my grandma Rosa, my mom, little brother, and me when I was pregnant with my 1st child.”

Cindy Couture Noyes “My 97 year

young grandma with my son whom she shares a birthday with.”

Tiffany Femling “Me (in the white and red), my sister, brother and my grandma. She was a very good piano player! My grandma bought us doll clothes and ate orange Tic Tacs with us.”

Susan Reagan “My Grandma, Mary Radinovich.

She came from Yugoslavia as a young girl, by herself, no other family members.

This is her citizenship picture. Circa 1940.”

Alissa Thompson “My grandma with my youngest!”

Katie Lynn “These hands are almost 103 years old...These are my Gram’s hands. A tribute to my Grammy Loretta (Feb. 1, 1913 - Jan. 19, 2018), whose hands, in this photo, rest upon her yet-tobe-born great grandson, Spencer.”

Laura Hietala“My Gram (‘Gram-Gram’ to my son)” Jenny Castle “My 98 1/2 year old grandma - those half years seem to be more important when you are younger and older.”

38 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

Sarah Herron “Me and my

Anita Reque-Peterson

Grandma Shipman.” <3

Kathy Durham Sell “Celebrating my Grandma Ruth’s 95th birthday. She got exactly what she wanted...a beer.”

Amber Haapajoki-Hahn

“My 96 yr old grandmother and I!

Chelsey Perkins “My Oma, so named by the nurse who delivered me in Germany (she’s not German at all!). Thoughtful, sweet, funny, a great and adventurous cook, and the woman who instilled a sense of fairness in me and has supported me in every way.”

Lisa Henry “My Grandma Marion doing what she does best. She is magical the way she can lullaby a baby to sleep.”

Emma True “Me and my grandma!!!”

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PHOTOS BY JOEY HALVORSON

HER PASSION + yarn

Z 2 A

BY MARY AALGAARD

o h p S n r Ya

LeAne Finlay, owner of A2Z Yarn, inside the Franklin Arts Center.

There are two kinds of people in the knitting world -- the pickers and the throwers. I’m a picker. My friend Jeannine is a thrower. LeAne Finlay, owner of the A2Z Yarn Shop at the Franklin Arts Center, is a natural born picker and had to learn to throw so she could help more people who come into her yarn shop. Picking and throwing are two techniques in how you knit. I like the feeling of guiding the yarn through the fingers of my left hand as my right hand is picking up the stitches: in, over, down, out, repeat. Picking is also faster. Knowing how to do both is crucial in knitting patterns into your project in a style called Fair Isle, like a hat with a snowflake pattern going around.

40 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

Every knitter has her own style.

Some knit a little looser. Others pull the yarn tight. That, combined with the weight of the yarn and size of the needles determines the gauge.

Some prefer the straight needles, while many like the circular needles.

You need double point needles for projects that require a decrease in stitches, like baby hats and socks. I use a combination of circular needles to begin a project, where you knit the hat in the round, but will need to finish the project with double point needles as the stitches decrease to form the point of the hat. LeAne helped me get set up with exactly what I need.

Kathy Yount, who moved to Brainerd a few years ago, said, “The yarn shop helped me feel like I had a new home. It’s hard to find a place where you can sit, ask questions and get help.” Customer service is everything. Plus, LeAne makes it a cozy space with donated yarn under the coffee table if someone wants to knit a hat for Kinship Partners or peruse her many offerings. “I learn so much from the other ladies who come to knit,” says Jeannine zumBrunnen.

You pick up tips for casting on, knitting, purling, casting off, and all the numerous variations in the patterns.

You see people making something you’d like to try, and everyone oohs and ahhs over the luscious yarns.

LeAne helping Mary Aalgaard (center), start a baby hat project while Jeannine zumBrunnen (right) works on her project.

LeAne has many accessories for knitting in her shop. A local artist sells handmade pins for shawls. Local potters and woodworkers make bowls for yarn with a hole on one side to feed the yarn while keeping the ball of yarn safely inside (away from curious cats and dust bunnies).

LeAne has taught classes on knitting and says whenever her shop is open, people are welcome to come in and get instruction. It’s best to call ahead to schedule an appointment.

She typically teaches the throwing technique to new knitters as it takes time to get used to handling the yarn and needles, and to see what is happening as you form the stitches. LeAne’s grandmother taught her to knit, but she wasn’t there when LeAne got to the end of her project, and therefore didn’t know how to end it, or cast off, so she pulled it all apart and didn’t pick up knitting again for many years. She doesn’t want that to happen to other knitters. She’s there for you.

When I came in to work on this article, the cute little baby hats caught my eye and since my nephew and his wife are expecting their first baby in December, I thought I’d give it a try.

LeAne found the right needles for me, helped me cast on (correctly for this project) and talked me through the pattern.

Many people start knitting, or take it up again, when they’re involved in something like a church group who are making prayer shawls. Jeannine

said that’s when she got back into it.

From there she’s made fancy shawls, cowls and dozens of socks. She even tried a knit-a-long project through the A2Z shop. There is power in creating something with your own hands.

A blessing that comes first for the creator.

Anyone is welcome to come and knit at the A2Z Yarn Shop during regular business hours. LeAne and other knitters are there to help. There’s always chocolate in the bowl on the coffee table, luscious yarns to fondle and heaps of project ideas and delightful conversation.

Mary Aalgaard is a playwright and piano/theater teacher, living in the heart of Minnesota. She writes theater reviews and supports the arts through her blog Play off the Page. She teaches youth theater workshops in the Brainerd lakes area, writes articles for regional magazines, and works with both seniors and youth in multi-generational programs to enhance quality of life and build community. Her website is PlayoffthePage.com. You can follow her on her Play off the Page Facebook page, @MaryAalgaard on Twitter, and email her at Mary@playoffthepage.com.

Like us on Facebook • Winter 2018 | her voice 41

FOR HER

CANDY CANE

+ DIY

KNITTING PROJECT

BY LINDA HURST

Our knit candy cane is a sweet holiday project that everyone can enjoy. It’s easy enough for beginners, yet so cute, experienced knitters will enjoy it too. Gather your supplies and a cup of cocoa and give it a go!

MATERIALS

• Red & White medium Worsted

Weight yarn. I used Caron Simply Soft Party yarn.

1. Cast on 6 stitches with red yarn - leaving a 6” tail.

2. DO NOT TURN WORK. Slide stitches to other end of needle.

• Size 6 (5.75mm) double pointed needles • Tapestry needle • Pipe cleaners (in red or white)

3. Knit 6 red stitches­­— DO NOT TURN WORK. Slide stitches to other end of needle. 4. Drop the red yard and ADD on white yarn (leave a tail for weaving in).

Note: To prevent holes in the work,keep the red yarn to the left and the white yarn to the right.

5. Knit 6 stitches - Slide to other end of needle. 6. Drop the white yarn and knit the next row with the red yarn.

7. At the beginning of each row, give both yarns a bit of a tug to take up any slack and adjust tension (this will give the stitches on the back side an even look).

42 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook 42 her voice | Winter 2018 • Share your voice with us on Facebook

This is how the backside will look

8. Continue alternating red row, then white row until piece measures 6 inches. End with red row. Then knit one more red row.

11. Gently pull to close the opening at the top.

12. Whip stitch both ends closed, weave in ends, trim any excess yarn.

9. Fold pipe cleaner in half and push thru center of candy cane (bottom up).

10. Using a tapestry needle, thread yarn thru all 6 stitches on knitting needle.

13. Bend into shape and add hanger.

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Linda Hurst, the Brainerd Dispatch Knitting Expert, has been playing with yarn for decades, creating projects that are both beautiful and practical. You can find her award winning custom patterns on Ravelry.com Linda Hurst Designs. When she’s not knitting she enjoys traveling to the far corners of the world and training her BFF HART rescue dog, Ginger.

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HER VOICE We speak to women— the most powerful, profound audience.

Ask for our preview flyer showing a sneak peek into the spring edition.

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