Old Guy Spring Projects

Jim Drummond is a retired banker and Bozeman native.

This week, the topic of spring projects came up at the old guy waterhole. Someone at the end of the table commented, “Every year I have all sorts of projects that need to be done when spring begins, but I can’t ever seem to get started. I even have a list, but I just don’t know where to begin.” A fellow across the table responded, “The only way that you are going to start on spring projects is to get organized. Once you are organized, everything on a project list falls into place.” From an old guy’s perspective, getting organized means organizing the garage. Garages are the place where all the tools necessary to begin a project are stored. The garage is where shovels, lawn rakes, hammers, screw drivers, extension cords, wrenches, and old high school sports trophies are kept. It’s where everything that should have been thrown away long ago also accumulates. That includes broken power tools, random lengths of rope, pieces of wood and tin, bent nails, and bungee cords with one end missing. Boxes of lawn mower parts, cans of paint, and quarts of motor oil reside on a shelf. The garage manifests a mixed aroma of gasoline, garden dirt, sawdust, varnish, and mildewed coveralls. An old guy garage represents a connection to our ancestors who worked at a forge or built their own furniture. A garage is akin to the barn or machine shop of our forefathers. An old guy garage is also a place of refuge. It’s where most old guys go when kicked out of the kitchen. The other place is the bathroom, but most often old guys seek refuge in the garage. Most old guy garages have a chair for comfort after being thrown out of the kitchen. Sitting in the garage is much more comfortable than standing. One of the fellows in the group commented, “My grandfather had a barn, but not a garage. He said that when he was booted out of the kitchen he would retreat to the barn, especially in the winter when the outhouse was too cold for quality refuge time.” A place of refuge has been essential to old guys for generations. Someone commented, “Last spring I organized my garage. I threw out all of my broken tools, boxes of old parts, and even some bent nails. Damaged weed eaters and rusty rakes went to goodwill. Then I bought a tool organizer with lots of drawers.” Somebody asked, “Did organizing your garage help with spring projects?” The fellow responded, “Certainly! Once I was organized, everything flowed from there. I serviced my lawnmower, refinished the deck furniture, and tilled the garden. I’m positive that being organized helped.” Someone else asked, “Weren’t you sad when you parted with all your important garage stuff?” Our friend answered, “The hardest part was throwing out old rags. I never seem to have enough old rags. I also shed some tears getting rid of a few table saws that didn’t work. They held lots of memories.” Somebody queried, “What were you keeping them for anyway?” The first gent responded, “Spare parts,” We went around the table talking about spring projects that could be completed if we all became organized. One fellow commented, “I could build a new deck.” Another said, “I would put in an underground sprinkler system.” A third remarked,” I might construct a pickle ball court.” Finally, the old guy who was already organized said, “My next project will be building a backyard greenhouse, or possibly replacing some burned out light bulbs. I’ll probably tackle the light bulbs first. I’m pretty worn out now from all the effort of getting organized.”